#incorrect bau

[crimimnal-mineds-part2]

Reid: what was your first impression of me?

Emily, without hesitation: unstable.

Reid:

Emily: what do you expect? The first time I heard you, you told JJ about how you were writing a trauma comedy show about your life

JJ: the traumedy show.

[bnumi]

The team standing infront of a house on fire:

JJ: So when’s the fire department here?

Hotch: Idk I-

Emily: 5 bucks I make it in and out with out getting burned!

Morgen: 10 bucks and I’m in

Emily: Deal!!

Hotch: You are not-

Morgan & Emily: WERE GOING INNNNN!

3 seconds later:

Morgen & Emily coming out of the house: WE ARE INDEED VERY FLAMEBLE

[blackhillfilmss]

Emily: what if I told you none of it was accidental

JJ: and the first night that you saw me

Penelope: nothing was gonna stop me

Hotch *yelling into the bullpen through his open door*: Girls. How many times have I told you. PLEASE STOP SINGING TAYLOR SWIFT AT WORK!!

Penelope: oh boss man, you know the lyrics! Sing with me!

Hotch grumpily singing: I laid the groundwork and then just like clockwork

Derek joining in: the dominoes cascaded in a line

Rossi: you people drive me crazy sometimes

Spencer: agreed.

Penelope: cmon sing it boys!

All of them together: what if I told you I’m a mastermind!

[sunshinesvr]

Criminal minds incorrect quotes pt. 2

Spencer: Hey, want some trail mix?

Penelope: (glaring) you mean M&Ms with obstacles

Emily: Putting soup in a square container... it's just not right. it should be a circle one which is the shape of soup...

Hotch: are you.. okay?

JJ on twitter: I'm just a small butterfly, why are you being mean to me? :(

Reid on twitter: piece of pie (7 minutes later) pie round 2

Emily: what do you guys put on first when getting dressed?

Luke: My shirt

Tara: ok winnie the pooh

Reid: I'm phobic

Reid: Just scared.

Penelope: (sends photo of tire pressure light) What does this mean D:

Derek: Don't worry about it babe

Penelope: Okay ❤️

Penelope: Yay ❤️

[Over text:]

JJ: Dude

Reid: I'm busy right now

Reid: I ate glass on accident

JJ: you what?

Reid: Please leave me alone

Reid: i ate glass

[alissa3000]

Hotch : We need to distract these guys

Morgan: Leave it to me

Morgan: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Spencer, Emily, and Rossi: *Immediately begin arguing*

JJ, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

[hazelhearts]

Emily: *is carrying all the groceries*

JJ: *holds out hand to help*

Emily: *aggressively moves all groceries to one hand to hold JJ's hand*

[highhellkisses]

y/n: I'm writing a persuasive essay for Hotch on why he should let us play music in the bullpen. What a more academic term for killer beats?

Rossi: life ending tunes

Morgan: incapacitating sound waves

Emily: death fulfilling musical arrangements

Reid: ...

Reid: literally not one of those sounds remotely more appealing

[starch1ldz]

Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.

Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating

The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.

Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.

[ralvezfanatic]

Y/N: I need someone to take me out already

Derek: Like on a date or with a sniper?

Y/N: Either works but at this point I rather a sniper

Hotch: Do I need to have you evaluated?

Elle, texting Penelope to ask how much a hitman costs:

Spencer, texting Penelope to ask her for tips on how to ask you out:

Penelope, very confused at the two types of text she got: ???

[demonicbaby666]

Emily: [flips monopoly board over] Hotch: Prentiss! Emily: This is why your wife is dead Reid: Emily! Emily: This is why your girlfriend is dead Morgan: Emily: This is why you’re bald Morgan: I DIDNT SAY SHIT!

[bnumi]

Emily and Reid playing wii:

Emily: So what do I need to do?

Reid: You need to put the band around your wrist.

Emily: Nah I’m going to be careful.

Reid: But you need to-

Emily: How hard can it be, not to throw the remote at the TV.

Later that day…

Hotch: So who broke the TV?

[blackhillfilmss]

Emily: Am I going too far?

Hotch: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

[just-a-torn-up-masterpiece]

[BAU Chief Emily Prentiss walks over to your desk before taking a seat beside you with an expectant look on her face]

y/n: can i help you?

Emily: I finished all my work

y/n:

Emily, smirking: I think you know what I want

y/n, sighing: which one?

Emily, sporting a massive grin: snail

[y/n laughs while opening their drawer before pressing a sticker to emily's shirt]

y/n: snailed it

[alissa3000]

Morgan : Rules are made to be broken.

Hotch: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Spencer: Uh, piñatas.

Emily: Glow sticks.

Rossi: Karate boards.

JJ: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Morgan : Rules.

Hotch:

[hazelhearts]

Emily: I keep saying 'it is what it is' but, like, what is it?

[forhappysake]