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[enasinspiration-blog]

LOVE TRIANGLE

We were holding hands. Walking through the crowds of handsome men in suits and women in gorgeous dresses and beautiful faces. Photographers would stop us and yell our names just to get pictures. I was living in the moment. Abel was squeezing my hand, showing me a sign of protection, while I was taller than him in my heels. We would stop everytime to greet and be greeted by famous faces. His eyes were always focused on me. His hands were sweating. „What’s wrong?“, I asked. He shook his head and whispered: „Nothing. Baby girl.“ Something was up. U felt it. I knew that. I tried to wipe it out of my mind. But i couldn’t. My mind was focused on that the whole evening. Abel knew too. He saw it in my eyes, even though I didn’t say a thing. I felt guilt in him that he couldn’t control. His body was lacking his usage of drugs. I tried everything. Seeing him like that. My heart started beating. My mind was blank. He squeezed my hand and asked like he had no idea what was happening: „Baby, are you alright?“ My heart was racing to his words. I didn’t say anything. I just placed a light kiss on his cheek ending with a laugh and my teeth touching his skin. He smiled. „Let’s go“, he said. My eyes widened. „Finally“, I thought. He pulled my body close to his in order not to lose me in the crowd. I had an unusual grin on my face. The way he touched me. The way he treated me. I couldn’t help it. He was turning his head my way. I turned my head away, pretending I was looking at something. Abel’s eyes widened. That was his girl. In the beautiful black dress perfectly tailored to match her curves. With light curls falling down her open back. She was absolutely stunning. We were heading out to our car. He opened the door. He placed his head lightly on my hip, leading me in to the car. We sat down. We exchanged looks. I placed my legs in his lap. Abel smiled. Placing his hands on my legs carresing them. I felt adrenaline rush through my body. In that moment i forgot everything. I know, I’m weak. I couldn’t help it. The way he touched my body. It was magical. Abel was avoiding eye contact. His hands lightly sweating. It wasn’t good. I moved slowly towards him. Grabbing him by the neck and kissing it carefully. He turned immediately. A big smile was suddenly on his face. We started kissing. That was completely normal for our driver. It was the same after every show. One of his hands was touching my cheek and the other was supporting my bare back. We broke apart. „I love you so fucking much“ he said with passion. He was fond of his curse words. „I know baby boy, I love you too.“ Then I sighed. „Do you really have to?“ I asked in dissapointment. He knew exactly what I was thinking of. His face made a sad expression and he turned to face the window. I immediately felt regret. He said still facing the window: „I don’t.“ I didn’t know what to say. An awkward silence filled up in the back of the car. „But will you?“, I asked with hesitation. He removed his hands of my body and my legs of his lap. He put them on his beautiful face, covering it and putting his head between his knees. He pulled back up and looked at me helpless. I hugged him. I saw weakness in his eyes. He slowly put his hands around my waist. „I’m sorry, hun“ he said. I ran my hands through his hair. „It’s okay, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have asked.“ He placed a light kiss on my lips. I embraced him and we both smiled with weakness. Deep down the fight wasn’t over. We both knew the problem. Of course I had the urge to help him. I just didn’t want to hurt him. Our house was quite far away. With us being famous, we had a wealthy place. Not everything in my life was about money. It didn’t feel the same for Abel. We talked the rest of the drive. I laughed at his humor and he was a proud boy. The car stopped. We exchanged looks before we got out. He gave me a hand ‘cause I was tired walking in these heels that were actually his gift. We got to the front door. He opened the door and let me in first. Always a gentleman. We were holding hands the whole time. He lead my way to the wine red couch with huge windows looking to the city skyline. He went down and got off my heels and kissed my legs. He sat down. I followed up and sat on his legs crossing them behind his back. There was a wine bottle on the side table next to the couch. He reached out his hand grabbing the bottle while again supporting my back with the other. We were talking about everything and anything. There was no silence. Not even for a minute. After a while pf giggling, talking, kissing, I forced myself up and went upstairs. I was walking up the stairs. Abel was still sitting on the couch with the wine bottle in his hand looking out, probably thinking about something. I got to the bedroom door. I closed my eyes, inhaled, and then exhaled. I opened the door and went to the bathroom. Abel didn’t follow me upstairs. He never does. I took of my black dress, standing in nothing but underwear. I put on a silk slip on dress and some socks. It was freezing. I pulled my curls in to a messy bun. I took of m heavy makeup which Abel didn’t prefer anyway. He liked my face bare. I turned on the water. I splashed on some water and washed my face with a face wash. My mind wouldn’t stop picturing Abel. Guess that was good. I wiped down my face with a charcoal colored towel so the makeup wouldn’t leave stains. I heard beeping. My phone. I always leave my phone at home. I prefer actually talking to people and not being occupied with my phone. As i thought, my notifications were filled with a special name. It was Shawn. The sweet boy who wouldn’t do anything to make you feel bad. He was the second man in my life. I have known him since he has started with his music. My favorite shoulder to cry on. I left him messages saying things like: „Abel is fine.“, „The show was amazing.“ And so on. I felt better. I closed my phone and proceeded my way downstairs. I saw light coming out of the black marble kitchen. My heart was beating uncontrollably. I got down and stood right in the door frame. I froze. There he was. Doing it. With parallel white lines and credit cards on the kitchen island. Even though I see this everyday, I felt like today was different. I had enough. I know it wasn’t a good idea to run, but my head was messed up. He didn’t notice me untill I dropped my phone which I didn’t really care about at this point. He picked up his head from the kitchen island. He pinched te bridge of his nose trying not to see me. I didn’t know why, but at that moment I have never felt more heartbroken in my life. I picked up my phone, ran in to the hallway, grabbed my bag and shoes. I didn’t even say goodbye. I don’t know what I was thinking. I shut the door behind me. He was still there. He couldn’t move. He banged on the island with his hand making the cocaine fly all over the kitchen. He fell down with his back leaning against the island. There was only one person on my mind at this point. It was Shawn. I texted him saying: „I’m coming.“ He replied with a bunch of messages. But I didn’t. Once I got to his place I parked the car and rang the bell. He opened the door. His face was saying it all. He was suprised, scared, confused. He hugged me. Of course, his first words were: „What did he do?“ I wasn’t suprised. Even though he said he liked Abel, he was always a bit iffy about it. He put his hand around my shoulder and guided me to his living room. I sad down. It reminded me of tonight. Then I started crying. He was just holding me. He knew I was to weak to say anything. Couple of minutes passed, I said: „He just wouldn’t stop.“ He knew everything and he wasn’t happy about this the moment Abel and I started going out. An hour has maybe passed by. I controlled my feelings pretty well. As long as he didn’t mention Abel it was all good. I was there in Shawns arms. I felt guilty. I would be lying if i sad i didn’t. Shawn got closer. I was confused. I don’t know what he was doing. Suddenly I fell soft and warm lips touch mine. I closed my eyes before pulling him away. Now I was furious. Not even sad but furious. I stood up and I was gone. I was driving in my car. I wasn’t going anywhere. I just didn’t want to be there. With him. No. Should I call anyone else? What should I do? I started sobbing. I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was killing me. Then I remembered. A special place. I wasn’t there with anybody, only two people know about this place. It was a small clif, looking to the lake. I turned my car around and drove there. I parked my car. Tears were falling down my face, causing the left over mascara to run down my pale face. I sat down on the ground. My mind was empty. I had no thoughts. I stopped crying. My mind was a bit clearer. The moonlight was shining in my face. I heard cars. Not one but two of them. I knew what was going on. They are here. Both of them. I turned around. The car light was blinding me. I stood up and went slowly toward the cars and stopped a couple feet away. They were both leaning against the car. Shawn with his hands in his pockets and Abel with his arms crossed. I collapsed down. It hurt me. Abel was approaching me slowly. I didn’t give him a sign to stop. I knew I wanted him. I was sitting there, looking down on the ground. I saw legs im front of me. I slowly lifted my head up when I saw him. My baby boy. His eyes were all read. Probably from crying too. He crouched in front of me. His hand going towards my cheek but I grabbed it. I was holding it hard. Screaming as loud as I could. He closed his eyes and squeezed them. He couldn’t hear me like that. I got enough power to hug him. I didn’t want it to end. I closed my eyes. He whispered: „I’m a fucking idiot.“ With a shaky voice. I was soothing him. „Don’t ever. Ever. Do that again to me“, I said. He just squeezed me inside his arms. I opened my eyes again. I saw him. Shawn. He was broken. He couldn’t see me in his arms. He pushed himself of the car. Glancing at me. He loved me. But why? How? I saw it then. When he kissed me. He knew, he didn’t have a chance. But he wasn’t mad. He didn’t have a reason. He knew I loved Abel. If i loved him I wouldn’t be in his arms now.

| I hope you enjoy my first fanfiction. I was thinking about this story for a long time so I decided to share it with you.