endahnursalehah - Tumblr blog

[endahnursalehah]

My decision, endless series of bad one. Recognise and repair, now. 

[endahnursalehah]

Menjadi Tenang

Salah satu temen nanya caranya ikhlas dan maapkeun karena jika aku tahu gimana caranya, mungkin terlebih dahulu bakal nge-assist si Endah biar lebih ikhlas ngejalanin hari-harinya.

I really dunno know how, but one thing, I really need a sincere repentance to get into tranquility, a peace of mind.

Penerimaan diri buat di asses, dosa yang mana Ndah yang jadi sumber dan kudu segera di tutup? Keterbukaan dengan diri sendiri buat ngaku, ini pun engga mudah..

Considering numbers of sleepless nights and sluggish days wasted, let's 👏talk👏openly👏and👏safely, Ndah.

[endahnursalehah]

On a death bed, he wished we were there.

Gusti, mudah bagi engkau menyatukan apa yang terpisah. Semoga engkau berkenan menguatkan hingga pertemuan yang kekal kelak.

[endahnursalehah]

I don’t know how to face this April. Shall I sit still and pretend that things are perfectly fine just the way it is? On the flip side, I can’t shut up something inside of me asking how if scenarios. Will it be my last April and my last Ramadhan? How could you be prepared  and make things out of it?

Ólafur Arnalds, Josin - The Bottom Line

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Who we are without our memory?

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Humanizing Technology

Imagining someone whom live alone, weak, emotionally tortured must report his/her lost one. Technology could potentially be more emotionally supportive.  

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Having a chance to see from another perspective will enrich you. 

People adore something from the outside, but you En, try to see it thoroughly..

The view from Neuschwanstein Castle, Germany (by jabi0911)

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Ólafur Arnalds - A Sunrise Session with JFDR (some kind of peace)

I feel acceptance on their shortness of the warmth at winter solstice. During the sun rising, they appreciate of the lights that's finally started to kiss their skin, also they kept reminding themselves it’s temporary because the sun will eventually rotating to another side of the skies.

It’s just so beautiful and bring ease..  

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Seringnya cuma sanggup menatap jendela dan exhale-inhale liat awan lewat. Di 2020 ini beneran butuh buat bisa shut-down sejenak. Kemudian on lagi dan fokus memproses satu demi satu yang dikepala dan yang dirasa saat kayak ada 7 layar TV yang screennya mega gede dan nyala dengan volume nyaring maksimal dan rebutan buat diperhatikan.   

[endahnursalehah]

Whiplash Bar Scene - "Good job."

This conflicting in me. 

Andrew, another artist with bold ego. Fletcher, another non-conformist character ever told.  Currently thinking about Han Ji Pyeong to add up the list.

[endahnursalehah]

When gravity means comfort

Oftentimes I’m wondering why I keep coming back for something despite a better alternative option I have. Does the place, people, food or stuff has a bigger number than 9.81? 

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[endahnursalehah]

Life events most of the time throw things randomly and scattered. Although I was failed in so many ways on connecting the puzzle by desperately making unintended rotation, in the end it was giving me a thrill sensation somehow. In fact, my previous moves shaped me along the way and leaving a beautiful mark to recall.

And for tomorrow, I choose to keep sail away and believe in me for every decision I make.

엔다, 난 믿죠.

Pictures from Infinity Loop game lv 66

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Validating emotion

Emotions are inconsistent, volatile, rich, strong, fleeting and might be changed in a flick of a switch. It’s pretty interesting how she managed herself and choose not to make a move about his feeling on her. People might hold a judgement on her that she is just afraid of making a commitment because she too afraid of missing something better. Mmm I think she validate him by tried to rationalized his feeling based on his behavior and making a room for him to reflect and rethink about his (maybe) just-in-time emotion. 

Source about validation 

[endahnursalehah]

The last 7 weeks of 2020

 What mark you will leave on this 2020, En?

Tracing and backtracking I found out most of my time spent on spiraling on negative self-talk, impacting how I function day by day. I might be able to maintain a solid ritual of praying, Alhamdulillah, with all His affection & mercy. But on the productive side of me, I guess this year is another pitfall. Watching the clock ticking, I ended up observing how miserable it is to lose another bet, missed too much train, while my world keeps shrinking. My muscle has been over-trained to get up again and again, yet it feels a great burden and guilt to take a rest. I guess the keywords are trapped, coked up, spiraling, and blurry. 

So, En tell me how could you interrupt this? What best you can make out the rest of this 7 weeks?

[endahnursalehah]

En, The Challenger

I don’t know if it’s scientifically proven, at a time when the inner conversation goes unhealthy I added up En. Her trait, like the type eight of enneagram. And I found quiet compelling that her presence helps me, at least bring the new perspective to the squishy-mushy conversation. 

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En Manifesto

En 2020 Manifesto

Mindful  Having intention upon your action. Tone down things to take care of

Grateful Better prayers, be aware of His blessings

Discipline Faidza azzamta fatawakkal allallah

Fun Live the life!

I’m considering to add 

Naivety Embracing naive perspective and its fleeting feeling 

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Hot and cold of October skies.

Sometimes it was showering but in a flick it changed into intensely radiant. Still, I'm grateful for that yellow moment.