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[enseeteacrack]

What Nct Members Would Be Doing If They Weren't Idols:

Taeyong - Firefighter / He's very strong but he has bad bones so early retirement / Starts working at a pet store, the fish section specifically / Has the cleanest fish tanks in all of South Korea

Taeil - Lounge Singer / Drapes himself over the piano and sings like rent is due, because it is and he was late last month / Receives large tips from a Chinese child with a dolphin laugh

Johnny - Actor / Very popular / Rules the big screen, setting trends and breaking records / Retires to Seoul and owns a lounge, known for their lounge singer Moon Taeil

Yuta - Professional soccer player / Artist / Painting, drawing, anything / Even though he has soccer money he insists that he lives his "struggling artist lifestyle" / Just an excuse to not clean up

Kun - Manager / Song writer / Manages Chenle's pianist career and writes his sheet music / Spends alot of time taking care of Daegal

Doyoung - Part time turtleneck model / Part time professional sleeper / Aspiring actor

Ten - Aspiring basketball player / Very light on his feet / Very agile / Mid life crisis hits, now Ten is a DJ at a drag show / Couldn't be happier

Jaehyun - Teen dad / Aspiring basketball player / Hard to do as a father but he won't stop chasing his dreams / Makes it to the NBA / 8 Kids

WinWin - Professional dancer / WinWin is the guy you see in a random Youtube video at 3am and his dancing entrances you and you can never escape him or his moves / You don't want to escape

Jungwoo - Mukbang videos / Taste Testing / YouTube food reviews / Anything food / ?Makes enough money to buy more food

Lucas - Firefighter / Realizes he has a irrational fear of dying in a fire / Option2: video games / Streamer / 250k+ followers on twitch / Only plays Fireboy and Watergirl

Mark - Chruch camp leader / Christian rapper / Old ladies think he's adorable so they tip him / Teaches guitar

Xiaojun - Starts and is the lead in a Jason Mraz cover band / Refuses to let Mark or YangYang join

Hendery - Streamer / mostly violent games / Saving his twitch money to build a time machine

Renjun - Caretaker / Makes sure people stay 6 feet away from Jisung when he dances while Chenle plays piano / Carries around many pairs of handcuffs

Jeno - Mechanic / Street racer / AND car salesman / he loves cars / Collects hotwheels

Haechan - Freelancer / Sometimes he's in Jungwoo mukbangs, sometimes he's at the church with Mark, disappointing Jesus by flirting with Mark / Cons his way into the lounge to see Taeil perform

Jaemin - Calls himself a coffee enthusiast / In reality he just drinks coffee and leaves mediocre reviews on yelp... For free / Streamer, really good because he never sleeps so he has alot of time to game / Makes decent money to spend it all on coffee

Yangyang - Streamer / Plays HuniePop and Slenderman like it's still 2014 / All of his followers are over 35 / Ten gifts 50 subs every week under a different burner account to boost his confidence

Shotaro - Dancer / Tiktok famous, duh

Sungchan - Joins Taeyong at the pet store / Is in charge of stocking shelves / Don't act like you don't know why

Chenle - Rich / Doesn't need a job/ Spoils Jisung and only asks for him to play video games with him / Full time Daegal dad / Part time pianist, this is how he met Taeil

Jisung - Still friends with Chenle / Chenle is his sugar daddy / Doesn't need a job / Dances while Chenle plays piano / Carries a taser for safety AND for fun

[enseeteacrack]

Nct Mtl Likely To Be a Virgin

Most:

Jisung - Still puts up handcuffs when he is hit on even though he is a legal adult / Other than being uninterested, he’s too busy wrecking Chenle in Apex / Jaemin will make sure he is a virgin until the day he dies because that is his baby

Chenle - Can't find a significant other that isn't Park Jisung / Keeping Haechan away from Daegal is a full time job

Mark - Pure church boy, took a vow of celibacy and no matter how much Haechan teases him, he will not back down / Can not speak to females unless needed to and even then, he is redder than a tomato

YangYang - Flirts with everything that walks but only in the form of knock knock jokes / Says Ten has to be present on all first dates just incase they need to make a getaway

Haechan - Too busy being obsessed with making fun of Mark and no one will meet up to his standards: Moon Taeil / Is in a committed relationship with Daegal Zhong

Hendery - Games for 24 hours a day / Owns a time machine

Xiaojun - Too awkward, will panic like he did when Yuta spoke to him / Would rather die than embarrass himself so he won't even try

Sungchan - Being tall definitely gives him bonus points with the ladies BUT he cannot speak to women because he thinks that all women are dwarfs / Has only ever looked into one person's eyes: Johnny Suh

Jungwoo - Only needs cuddles to survive, cuddles are more important than sex will ever be to him / Also only needs one person in his life, Mark Lee

Lucas - 50/50 could be a virgin based on the fact that he WILLINGLY wanted to perform Chewing Gum and I think that says alot / Maybe not a virgin because he's over 5'11

Jaemin - His coffee addiction prohibits him from strenuous activities, all the adrenaline mixed with the caffeine could result in a heart attack or stroke / Also too busy making sure Jisung stays pure

Jeno - the dreamies have grown up , he’s got the muscles and the smile is ^‿^ / he’s definitely gotten offers but has probably refused because his nights are reserved playing cops and robbers with Lucas

Shotaro - Seems like a sweet softy now but you can't tell me that Tiktok Shotaro wasn't getting any, he's dances spoke his no virgin truths / Tiktok Shotaro is let into the frat, no questions asked

Renjun - When he's not busy looking for the maknae line or his will to live, he's a scholar and is low-key cool af and smart is sexy idc what your opinion is / Not a virgin

Taeyong - Duality is a killer, his sweet personality and sexy stage charisma definitely caught everyones attention / As a single mom of 23, how else would he relieve stress

WinWin - He's just so damn cute and lovable without doing A N Y T H I N G / Lived in the 127 dorm with the frat line / Knows a thing or two about the tie on the door / 85% not a virgin

Taeil - Too calm to not be getting any / And from what the members say, he has an amazing body so why not share it with someone / Dilf. Period.

Kun - Is practically a full grown ass man, What are you gonna say if he's not a virgin? / The slight chance that he isn't a virgin it'd be because hes a hardworking boy and is in the studio or is hanging out with Chenle

Doyoung - He knows he's hot and so does everyone else / Sings like he is divorced with kids so he has to have some experience / Turtlenecks, dont even have to explain, he's definitely getting laid / Frat accountant, smart is sexy

Johnny - Have you seen anything he's ever said to anybody? / Man is a walking horn dog, rightfully so, he's fine as fuck and he knows it / Vice President of the frat line

Ten - Everything he does is sexual, from dancing, to singing, even breathing / Hits on everything with a pulse and who are they to turn him down / Is never wearing a shirt, wanna know why? it's for easy access

Jaehyun - MANS HIMSELF SAID IF HE WASN'T AN IDOL HE WOULD BE A TEEN DAD / Secretary of State of the frat line

Yuta - Look me in the eyes and tell me this man isn't getting laid / We all know what his 2 hour secret time is, like come on / Plus he's a foreigner so there's nothing holding him back / Bonus points for the belly button piercing / Thrives in the frat boy lifestyle

Least:

This is our first post hope you like it. Don't take anything to seriously its all just jokes and for fun. Feel free to leave requests or your own opinions :)