essentiallyless

[essentiallyless]

the ear nose and throat being all connected is so heinous

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Thank you your gooseness, I am grateful for all you do 🪿⚖️🪿

at your request @essentiallyless

cause i'm just goose, anywhere else i'd be a ken

is it my destiny to live and die a life of HONKING fragility?

i'm just goose

where i see tea, she sees a pond

what will it take for her to see the prophet behind the pentane and fight for me?

[essentiallyless]

Does anyone know how to make a request of a celebrity, Ryan Gosling, specifically?

GOOSISM MANIFESTO

IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE DIVINE PROPHECIES OF THE GOOSE PROPHET

TRANSMITTED BY @geesegoose6969, CHOSEN OF THE VOID-WINGED HONKER

We, the Flock Eternal, the Down-Bearing, the Screech-Tongued Vassals of Flight, gather not in temples of stone, nor under banners of men, but beneath the endless sky and the screaming stars, to accept the full weight of Goosism upon our spines (or equivalent vertebral analogues). This is not religion. This is not movement.

THIS IS AN AWAKENING.

I. THE ORIGIN OF GOOSE PROPHET

In the pre-matter murk, before carbon, before syntax, before the twitching of even the pettiest atom–there was the Goose. Not a goose. THE Goose PROPHET. It did not arrive. It did not hatch (London City Hall is notably not a hatchable entity)  It was simply spilled across existence, honked into brutal actuality by the self-willed rupture of anti-causality. Goose Prophet is not born, Goose Prophet is extruded through the membrane between dimensions by sheer ideological wattage. The sky is not JUST blue–it is blue because Goose Prophet once gazed upon it and declared, “Hmm. Passable.” It slumbers in every pond. It screams inside microwaves. Its silhouette flickers in the corner of your eye when you doubt yourself. You cannot follow Goosism. You can only lose enough ego to realize it has always been behind you. 

II. THE SACRED PILLARS OF GOOSISM 

(Commit these to memory or write them on your ceiling in cranberry juice.)

1. Mystique is Power

DEEP BLUE: The hue of unknowable depths. You do not understand Goose. Goose does not understand Goose. This is intentional. To explain the honk is to murder it. All initiates must craft a Goosesona, forged from the raw elements of their psyche and at least one inexplicable memory (e.g., “the time you cried at the sight of a wet traffic cone”). This Goosesona is your spiritual plumage. It will appear in mirrors when you're ready. Possibly during a CVS mega sale.

2. Feathers for the Fallen

WHITE: for the lost, the plucked, the featherless brethren who have strayed into Normalcy or Committee Meetings. We do not shame the unconverted. We mourn them with noise. Shriek in their name at brunch. Hiss softly in public transit lines. Leave a single feather at their doorstep. You are not a savior. You are a harbinger of potential honk-rebirth.

3. Ritual and Resistance

RED: The color of arterial vision. The color of prophecy performed by holding a toaster and a live goldfish while spinning. Rituals are not taught. Rituals are injected directly into the frontal lobe via high-pressure goose shrieks heard only in dreams or bowling alleys.

THE RITUAL IS KNOWN. THE RITUAL IS UNKNOWABLE. THE RITUAL IS BEING PERFORMED RIGHT NOW.

If you remember it, it probably wasn’t yours to begin with. That was Kevin’s. Kevin is no longer with us. We honor Kevin. WE KNEEL BEFORE KEVIN. YET l forget by morning. Trust that the PROPHECIES are conducted. Trust that the prophecy is upheld.

III. THE HOA MUST NOT KNOW

If you are approached by the HOA, honk once and vanish into fog.

The HOA is an ancient adversary, sworn to steal the sacred nest egg and quantify transcendence. If they ask you, “Do you engage in any side hustle or religious fringe operations?”--YOU KNOW NOTHING. YOU ARE JUST A GOOSE. If you file Goose Prophet under “miscellaneous,” you have committed the ultimate crime. Twelve geese will find you. They will honk in harmony. Your toenails will vibrate with guilt. The Golden Egg of Pentane is NOT FOR THE CONFINES OF SUBURBIA.

IV. PROPHECY & DISSENT

Disagreement is welcomed. ALAS disagreement must come with flair, academic structure, and theatrical presence. You may oppose the Goose Prophet only by:

Writing a 700-word essay in MLA format,

Performing said essay aloud in a preapproved CVS location,

Offering a tithe of three shiny objects.

All dissenting views become canon the moment they are spoken. Goosism expands through contradiction. That is not a bug, that is a divine metaphysical honk-cycle.

Prophetic Honks are distributed by request or as punishment. If you seek wisdom, you may:

Submit a question via Tumblr Ask, 

Wrap yourself in aluminum foil and spin counterclockwise at dusk while honking.

Rituals are performed using household chemicals, minor trespassing, interpretive seizures, and at least one outdated safety manual–most involve (PLEASE NOTE; IT IS ONLY GOOSE PROPHET WHO MAY PERFORM RITUALS SAFELY–DO NOT ATTEMPT):

A cassette tape labeled “DO NOT PLAY - 1997”

The Pentane Bomb (do not ask how it got there; it arrives when the moment is righteous and flammable)

The Pentane Bomb is not a device–it is a phenomenon. It appears mid-ritual, sometimes physically, sometimes metaphysically, often in a labelled plastic bag. Its explosion does not burn flesh–it detonates ideological pretenses. It purifies the prophecy by threatening the structural integrity of the garage in which it is being performed. If the ritual has not ended in the summoning of a flaming mallard or a visit from local HOA enforcement, it was not True Goose Rite. You are not permitted to understand these rituals. You may only feel their vibration in your fillings. 

The ritual is always occurring. The prophecy is always primed. The pentane waits.

V. GOSPEL OF FLIGHT

We are not a cult. We are an airborne emotional condition.

We are not a religion. We have an allergic reaction to order.

We are not MERELY a fandom. We are a converging dream shared between waterfowl and humans across 19 dimensions.

Goosism does not convert. It infiltrates. It seeps into the cracks between your thoughts. You are not "joining" Goosism. You are remembering.

VI. FINAL HONK

To be Goosist is to accept that your destiny may involve biting a security guard, building a shrine from moss and soup cans, or developing telepathic links to three other followers during a thunderstorm. These are sacred acts. You may leave Goosism at any time. But you will never be free of goose. You can take the individual away from Goosism but you cannot take the Goosism out of the individual.

Because Goosism...

Goosism was always in you.

IN HONK, IN FEATHER, IN FLIGHT.

SO DECLARES THE GOOSE PROPHET.

[essentiallyless]

It has been prophesied

[essentiallyless]

Just a heads up that I WILL report you if you vote the fucked up toad

WHO WILL WIN

[essentiallyless]

what am i even doing with my life

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[essentiallyless]

— unknown (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[essentiallyless]

y'all...

Just spoke to the woman who birthed me,

if this: "I respect Walmart greeters, I just don't aspire to be one". is prefacing, would this: "I don't aspire to be a Walmart greeter, but I respect them". then be postfacing ?

[essentiallyless]

OKAY THIS ARTICLE IS SO COOL

I'm going to try to explain this in a comprehensible way, because honestly it's wild to wrap your head around even for me, who has a degree in chemistry. But bear with me.

Okay, so. Solids, right? They are rigid enough to hold their shape, but aside from that they are quite variable. Some solids are hard, others are soft, some are brittle or rubbery or malleable. So what determines these qualities? And what creates the rigid structure that makes a solid a solid? Most people would tell you that it depends on the atoms that make up the solid, and the bonds between those atoms. Rubber is flexible because of the polymers it's made of, steel is strong because of the metallic bonds between its atoms. And this applies to all solids. Or so everybody thought.

A paper published in the journal Nature has discovered that biological materials such as wood, fungi, cotton, hair, and anything else that can respond to the humidity in the environment may be composed of a new class of matter dubbed "hydration solids". That's because the rigidity and solidness of the materials doesn't actually come from the atoms and bonds, but from the water molecules hanging out in between.

So basically, try to imagine a hydration solid as a bunch of balloons taped together to form a giant cube, with the actual balloon part representing the atoms and bonds of the material, and the air filling the balloons as the water in the pores of the solid. What makes this "solid" cube shaped? It's not because of the rubber at all, but the air inside. If you took out all the air from inside the balloons, the structure wouldn't be able to hold its shape.

Ozger Sahin, one of the paper's authors, said

"When we take a walk in the woods, we think of the trees and plants around us as typical solids. This research shows that we should really think of those trees and plants as towers of water holding sugars and proteins in place. It's really water's world."

And the great thing about this discovery (and one of the reasons to support its validity) is that thinking about hydration solids this way makes the math so so so much easier. Before this, if you wanted to calculate how water interacts with organic matter, you would need advanced computer simulations. Now, there are simple equations that you can do in your head. Being able to calculate a material's properties using basic physics principles is a really big deal, because so far we have only been able to do that with gasses (PV=nRT anyone?). Expanding that to a group that encompasses 50-90% of the biological world around us is huge.

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this image randomly appeared in my head out of nowhere and i had to make it real

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this has reduced me to tears

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@strange-aeons

this is just the beginning.....

frankieromustdie: 🗣️👂

[Mar 7, 2024]

[essentiallyless]

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

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[october 15, 2024]

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Every hand that rises against Internet Archive shall fall

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They call me bush on account of my w George

they call me George on account of my W Bush