estrangedraven

[estrangedraven]

I ask you.. to those who are prepared to abandon the caravan.. أفطال عليكم العهد ؟ Has Did the promise seem long to you in coming?

That it exhausted you to be patient for His sake while He multiplies for you your rewards? That you saw that continuing this path means that your children will lose their future.. a future that you saw from the lifestyles of your very enemies? Do you think that Allah is oppressing you and your children by keeping you in prison or to tread a path of hot coals? Do you think you gave everything you can and decided that it's your limit? Do you think that.. by abandoning the caravan, it will make you lead a life of honor and comfort amidst the very enemies that waged war against your Lord?

Did the promise seem too long in coming.. that you decided to turn on your heels and run? That you fooled yourself and your children to believe that living like your enemies would grant you a normal life...? A normal life based on their standards.. Did it feel too long that it kills you to now to wake up every single day in a place where you think brought you and will bring you the greatest loss...? Did it feel too long that you forgot the blessings that Allah gave you and still bestows upon you...? Do you hate it so much that you decided to go back to the practices of jaahiliyyah and adapt the lifestyle of the west? Allowing music, throwing away your modesty, celebrating kufr festivities and adapting their education systems while looking down on the muwahhideen and those who are steadfast in the path. These are to mention the least of your actions contradicting the teachings of Islam..

Wallahi, your abandoning the caravan will not harm it in any way. Your hateful speech and your rage will not diminish it's light and your fight against it will never extinguish it's flames. Your absence will not affect it in the least. Rather you are plunging into your own loss.

S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

Advice to myself: Accept yourself and others

Its good to be competitive with each other, it helps us grow and challenge each other to race ahead. Although this is supposed to be taken positively women take it too personally. With challenging and competition comes envy and grudges. There are times we should accept that someone else could be the winner or the one ahead of you. This is supposed to make you challenge yourself even more to become better than that. To take that person as an example and determine to do better.

We as women love to take every small thing and make it an eruption. What we do instead of the good way, is to start seeing faults in the other, pick on them, say hurtful things and do hurtful things. We hold grudges to our graves.

Even if we aren't competitive, lay down our weapons and admit defeat, we should not attack the other. We should aspire to do better next time or win next time. If we spend our lives in envy and grudges, we will never get out of the circle we are running in. We will never grow and never be able to make use of the time we had. Instead our focus would be to destroy the other person however much sin piles up on top of our heads.

Fine, I admit I am a loser. I wave my flag easily and then walk the other way. I know I cannot always come first in a race and there are times I admit I can never win. I admit I am different and so are the others. We all have our different ways of approaching and different ways of finding solutions. At the same time, we have to also admit we are not 100% unique in our personalities and thinking. There's prolly a few more who likes cats instead of dogs and those who hate maths but are smart in learning a new language. There are prolli a few out there who likes the same food, the same concepts in things and the same interests. We need to accept and move on. Although, I draw a line on accepting yourself and letting yourself be humiliated by others.

I have learned to accept my flaws and know I can come last in the line. If someone surpasses me, I applaud and support them but at the same time, it drives me to try more. Just because I'm overshadowed by someone else doesn't make me nonexistent.. does it? The loser is the one who destroys himself with enmity rather than fighting for their way. Whining about sinking to the bottom without moving a finger to swim. I love sharing my knowledge of things even if I know one day, that my students might top me one day. If it does happen it will be such a delight, seeing someone grow wings and fly, knowing you helped her to make those first few flaps.

WHYYY ARE WEEEE WOMEN SOOOOO DARKK!? The world doesn't end just because someone is better or has more attention than you. Admit. Move on. Case closed.

S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

Freedom, I believe should come without a price tag. Not just for those who can afford it, but for everyone who deserve it. The poor doesn't have to be discriminated.

I believe that Allah's victory will come for all of us and we will be freed with honor and dignity. It will come to all of us bi idhnillah. Till then, may Allah keep us steadfast.

#muslimpow #freedom #ghuraba

[estrangedraven]

I've got nothing to cry for anymore

I've got nothing to lose

I've lost my smile

Have grown cold and heartless

I've lost everything

Watch me as I bleed from my eyes

I've grown tired of this world

I'm just living only in an illusion

I wanna go home

I wanna bee in Your Mercy

I wanna walk in the Gardens

Getting lost in it's beauty

I wanna walk it's shores

Drink from it's rivers

I wanna hold my child close

I wanna see the honor my Lord bestows

Infront of those who used to look down

I want an end to all this hurt

I want to see You soon, my Lord

Take me home

To be continued...

-S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

Continued...

I will go in line I'm the only soul

I won't carry memories any longer

I moved on and let go

Of all strings that pulled my heart

I will grow stronger

I will fight this battle with all my might

I will not die twice, just so you know

I've already died once when you let me go

So never mention my name

Never seek for me

Never shed a single tear

If you hear "she's gone"

I won't ever look back

I'm as cold as ice

What do you expect?

An abandoned house is no longer a home

It grows cold and dark

While it stands in silence

-S_tranged

To be continued

[estrangedraven]

Continued..

I've died a thousand times

Everytime I remember where I stand

A bit of my dies

Do you know how it feels like

To be dead to those you love

Those who shared your blood

Those who you thought once loved you

I've seen how peopl forget

How they move on like I never exist

Replace and erase

While I call out loud

They can't hear nor do they care

I feel dead while I'm alive

My "home" has vanished

And the longing to belong

I too, will walk ahead

And never look over my shoulder

I won't regret

I'll complete my dreams

I will fly higher than you can ever reach me

With my Lord's help

I'll make you regret

Turning your back..

While I fly inside

A green bird's chest.

-S_tranged

-end

[estrangedraven]

Sometimes words aren't enough to express the feelings and thoughts that comes and goes.. and only Allah knows the struggles of the soul as it gets surrounded by its enemies and tribulations.

Sometimes you get tired of looking out the window hoping for someone to pass by. You sit in the darkness of your room and lift your hands and empty your heart in duaas. As though distant it may seem, His help is incredibly near.

Sometimes it aches to keep shouting at an empty world.. your cries, your begging and your tears are left unnoticed by the ones drowning in it's pleasures. You stop extending your hand when you know there's no one to take it and drag you out. You know that no one can aid you but Allah.

Sometimes loneliness is like a burning cold that makes your bones shatter and your heart grow cold. We are meant to be warm to each other, even a smile can melt you down. Even the slightest word of encouragement brings the barriers down. If we are cruel to each other, we have nothing anymore.. Aren't we believers anything but brothers?

Sometimes you ask yourself how soon the world will forget about you. You see how they slowly drift away.. and your expectations drift away with it. You slowly become numb while you know.. what awaits you is far more than you can comprehend. You accept that there is none beside you but Allah.

Allah says, [Is not Allah sufficient for His slave?] 39:36

Yes. He certainly is. For Him to defeat your enemies, guide you and provide for you, to change the course of the world for you, to remove all your burdens can take less than a second. But He draws you closer to Him through the trials and sorrows. Until you realize you have none besides Him. Until He becomes sufficient for you in everything.

S_tranged

#islam #ghuraba #strangers #Allah #tawheed #quran

[estrangedraven]

Reminders are like rain to a barren land

Like lamps that lit forgotten paths

Like food to a hungry soul

Or like a bolt of thunder to the heedless

S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

Lol

[estrangedraven]

The rage burns me inside

Like a fire that can't be extinguished

The pain I'm left with

The emptiness.. like I'm hollow inside..

While I battle myself in earnest..

I lose myself once in a while..

Chased, choked up and chained

What insanity is it that drives me mad?

I feel hellish when brought up names

In desire to avenge their souls, I wait

Feels like I will unleash the beast within myself

Feels like the chains coming undone slowly...

With my constant struggles..

I'm tired of suppressing and remaining

Like someone I don't even recognize myself

It devours and swallows

Like an uncontrollable wind

How much does it take to remain calm

When storms brew inside

Like a pot overboiling

It started to spill

Bit by bit

It kills me... More than wounds on my skin

It burns me... More than a raging fire

It drives me insane.. can you read my face?

Can you see me through?

So as you claim?

The pangs of losing everyone

I will make you feel the same.

S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

Words can't do justice

To what I feel inside

I want to break away

I want to unleash the fury inside

The darkness hovers over me

Wanting to consume me whole

Do you know the battles I fight

Just to stay sane in this forsaken world?

How I long to live with the truthful

With the sincere, with the pious

How is it that I fear for myself even more

With those who are just pretending?

I want to repel the enemies knocking at my door

But how can I? When there are enemies inside?

S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

I am a nobody, with nothing, no value

I am a stranger, estranged like a raven amidst crows

I am a ghost, a wanderer whose name is unknown

I am a shadow, that fades into the darkness of my own soul

S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

In the depths of my own darkness

While I drown in my sorrows

The only One Who sees my storms

Is you, Ya Allah

In the midst of battles unfathomed

I keep losing my own strength

But I won't lose my will to fight

'Cuz I believe in Your help

In the depths of my solitude

I find Your company a light

A potion of life, for my dying heart

I cling in You, my Master, my Lord

Your Mercy is blessing, Your punishment is just

Keep my in my melancholy

For I'm closest to You

When my heart is bleeding

Keep me in my tears drenched

And my soul longing for You

As long as I have You with me

What do I care for in this world?

S_tranged

[estrangedraven]

Loading...

[estrangedraven]

For the one who seeks to entertain himself with your pain, your hurt, your suffering.. your smiles, your patience, your forbearance is enough to drive him crazy. Your ignorance while he seeks attention by wrecking your life.. by causing wounds that you brush off and walk away.. is enough to wipe off his smile.. You withstand the grief, the loss, the trials that he throws your way like a tree amidst a brewing storm.. his pride and arrogance might never fade.. but surely enough, it causes a crack.

In the end, you never glanced at him even once.. not even once. He will eventually lose his resolve and give up.. he will reach the limit of his own rebellion. He will see which banner you chose to raise.

You still smile. It breaks so much inside. Yet you were steadfast. You didn't waver. You didn't harbor darkness inside.. so he couldn't win in the end. He couldn't make you slip.

There's a long way ahead.. but for the promised end for the patient ones.. you could sacrifice anything.. anything.. and for that end.. you will fight.. till your last breathe.

S_tranged