evas-spn-thoughts

[evas-spn-thoughts]

will never ever stop throwing up about supernatural s1 bc in what could have been a clumsy attempt to throw exposition at us about the characters, they accidentally implied that sam spent the first twenty years of his life not knowing a single damn thing about his brother

[evas-spn-thoughts]

The Plaidcast and undervaluing Dean and Castiel:

Before I start; I'm not slagging off this podcast for the sake of it, I like this podcast generally and I enjoy listening to it... most of the time 😂 but I have gripes that I'd like to get down in writing.

Anyway... the podcast I'm talking about is The Plaidcast - it is only on Apple Podcasts and ran by 2 women who are English teachers. They are good at going into depth on Sam and Dean, and often in my opinion, get it very right.

However, I sometimes think they don't see through what the show is trying to sell you and so they mischaracterise the boys - especially Dean - Dean isn't an angry man, I will forever die on this hill. Also I get the feeling they aren't great fans of Cas which is fine, but it means they maybe undervalue him and don't highlight his importance.

So, maybe others have listened to the Plaidcast and agree and maybe not, I am down to hear opinions. Also I am only at the beginning of season 8, so there is chances of this to change and as I say, this is just me getting down my thoughts.

Part of my frustrations come from the fact that I feel the hosts market this podcast on being in-depth into the boys, they focus on their facial expressions, the subtext of the boys, and they go into so much depth on so many things. But they do not, in any way go into depth on Deans queer coding, nor the implications of Destiel that literally start from their meeting. We have come to the point where even if you don't ship Destiel, Supernatural and Destiel cannot be torn apart, they are so interlinked.

If anything, from what I’ve listened to so far, they seem to scoff at ‘Destiel shippers’ and that’s just irritating.

Dean has been - in my opinion - a queer coded character since the beginning, before Cas, and before Destiel became a thing. I think as a podcast that goes so far into character breakdowns, and wanting to read into everything, there has been an obvious lack of chat about this. It can even be them saying they don't see any of it, but I think the fact that they don't even acknowledge the fact that it can be read that way is disappointing.

I feel its an injustice to Cas and Dean - and not even in a Destiel sense - to minimise how much Dean and Cas mean to each other, to not acknowledge the fact that by the end of s6, Cas has become one of Deans most trusted friends.

It's all well and good to focus on Deans undying love for Sam, and how much they revolve around each other, but one of the great things about the introduction of Cas is that it gives Dean his person. Someone who understands him, and trusts him, and doesn't need to be cared about as anything but a best friend.

By their coverage of season 7, they have seen Despair and the rest of s15, they are a podcast that allow spoilers and reference the rest of the series. So to not catalogue Destiel and the importance of Cas and his love for Dean is just baffling and quite disappointing.

Sam and Dean are important to the show, but I will stand by the fact that the heart of the show is Found Family. Not blood family.

[evas-spn-thoughts]

s01e05 - Bloody Mary

All I remember about this episode is to not say Bloody Mary 3 times in the mirror, and that at the end, there is a ton of mirrors.

And that's all I remember.

My review style is to type my thoughts scene by scene while I watch the episode, so I have no further thoughts on this episode yet.

Better people would probably watch the ep first while making notes, but I am not a better person so I make a whole post while the episode is on.

I do a lot of pausing while I watch 😂

Post watch edit, okay I'm not gonna lie, I kinda don't care for this episode, it's fine, but I just don't really care about it. I don't feel like on a second watch it carries forward the boys plot that much. Maybe that's because I know the reveals already, but yeah... I just don't care for it.

The opening is very strong on Sam's want to find Jess's killer, and Deans insistence on hunting.

It's a bit weird having the cold open happen after the title screen, I don't feel like that's what happens in later seasons.

Anyway... we open on a group of girls pressuring another girl to say 'Bloody Mary' 3 times into the bathroom mirror.

The girl does do it, and her friends bang on the bathroom door, because that's what's fun when you are a kid. Its definitely happened to me post horror movie when I was younger.

Her dad asks her and her friends to keep it down - fair enough. You then see him passing mirrors on his way back to bed and see a female form in the mirror, which is very creepy.

Then her older sister comes home and walks up the stairs to see a pool of blood in the bathroom.

It's a very good cold open, that is very creepy.

We get Sam in an oddly coloured nightmare. He sees Jess burning on the ceiling and engulfed in blue flames??? weird choice but okay.

Dean wakes him up, clearly worried about Sam. Dean implies that Sam hasn't been talking about his nightmares. 'You know sooner or later we're gonna have to talk about this'. This is an example of Dean clearly being open to talking about Sam's problems, whereas Sam is very much keeping tight lipped about all of this.

We find out they are in Toledo, Ohio.

The coroner is being very difficult in helping out the boys, who say they are students getting information for their paper. He is taking an attitude with Dean and not giving them any help. At one point he throws Deans words back in his face and Dean says to Sam that he is 'going to hit him in his face, I swear'. Dean isn't always very good with people trying to hold up their hunt and especially with men talking down to him, sometimes he turns it flirtatious in some way, but in this case the guy is closer to their age and he just gets annoyed... which, fair enough, the guy is a pain.

They end up having to pay this guy to show them the body, with Sam using Deans 'earned' money to do so. Dean gets an attitude about this because Sam didn't earn the money, Dean did, but Sam clearly sees money won 'in a poker game' as unearned or of less personal value.

Sam has a low opinion of the hunter lifestyle which we have already seen, and with his lower opinion of it comes a condescension towards Dean and how he gets them money. The show makes it seem like Dean is the one who gets the money for them, and Dean seemed genuinely annoyed that Sam gave it away.

There are headcanons all over the place for how far Dean has had to go to get money, one of which Jensen has helped put into the universe. I generally believe that it wouldn't be a stretch for Dean to have had to resort to some unsafe methods to make sure the family had money when John would go off and hunt and leave the boys alone, but I think that by s1 he is only hustling pool and using credit card scams and not having to resort to any other means. Later in the season the family's blasé attitude towards Deans lack of care for his person and the normality of Dean using himself as bait shows that they likely dont know how much danger his face and beauty could get him into.

The boys go to the house from the cold open, and we see that the younger sister blames herself and Bloody Mary for the father's passing. Dean reassures her 'he didn't say Bloody Mary, did he?'

They go on a wander round the house to see the crime scene, and there is a slightly funny moment where Sam doesn't want to say Bloody Mary in the bathroom.

They are caught by the sister's friend and Sam pulls the all emotional and caring card so that she doesn't call them out on snooping.

We get a short exposition scene of Sam explaining all about the lore of Bloody Mary and we see that they are in the library and the computers are out of order.

Jill is on the phone to Charlie, and decides to say Bloody Mary in the mirror... like an idiot. She says it and then screams to freak out Charlie, but after she hangs up and is getting changed we see Mary in the mirror in another very well done creepy scene.

Jill sees herself in the mirror and her reflection isn't copying her movements, which is scary. The reflection says 'you did it, you killed that boy' all the while her eyes are bleeding... again creepy. Jill then dies.

We get Sam having the same dream as before - the blue one - and Dean sitting across the room. Sam wants to know why Dean let him fall asleep and Dean says it's because he's 'an awesome brother'.

Charlie calls the boys about Jills death. They break into Jills room to see if they can find anything and Charlie is now 100% on side with the boys.

We find out that potentially Jill killed an 8 year old boy with her car - she did kill him, its just the friend only said it was Jill's car. His name was written on the back of the mirror.

We get another name on the back of the other mirror. We discover that she is Donna's mom, and by linking back, the assumption is that Donna's dad killed her mom.

We get some exposition about mirrors revealing secrets - which might be important later in the episode - and about who Bloody Mary is, and the boys go and see the old detective who dealt with Marys murder case.

The old detective states that 'Mary spent her last living moments trying to expose this guys secrets' which fair enough, I respect that. The mirror that was there when she died was returned to the family and the boys go and find out who has that mirror.

Meanwhile Donna and Charlie are in the bathroom and Donna is an idiot and says Bloody Mary 3 times in the mirror because she doesn't believe. Even if I didn't believe which tbh I don't, I wouldn't say it in the mirror if others had died, I'm not an idiot.

The boys are in the car talking about mirrors again, when Charlie phones, they get her to their motel, and Charlie starts to explain what happened.

But Dean very quickly explains that he means that she needs to explain her secret. Charlie explains that she had a loving but scary boyfriend, and they got in a fight, and he said that if she left, he would kill himself and she left and he did. The fact that the show paints this as Charlie believing that she is at fault is incredibly annoying, because he was being manipulative and it's not on her to stay with that.

Thankfully in the next scene, Dean says exactly that. But 'spirits don't exactly see in shades of grey' which is a great line.

Sam offers to summon Mary because just smashing the mirror isn't enough. He is very certain about Mary coming after him.

After this statement, Dean breaks about the Jess issue. He says that he's tired of Sam blaming himself, that it isn't his fault that the 'thing' got Jess. He says the nightmares are gong to kill Sam. He says it wasn't Sam's fault

He offers to let Sam take a swing at him if it'll make him feel better because Dean 'dragged him away from her'. Dean is big on allowing people to blame him for things that aren't his fault, and Dean clearly feels some sort of blame for Jess as he brought up Sam swinging at him very quickly.

I know keeping secrets is part of the Winchester brothers life story, but this whole 'I have a secret, and I'm going to tell you I have a secret, but I wont tell you what the secret is' thing is maddening. Sam is keeping secrets that he doesn't have to keep and believing that he has this more important journey to be on, but isn't letting Dean in on what the journey is or what the secret is.

Anyway... Sam summons Bloody Mary, and chaos happens.

We see the boys breaking mirrors, and then Dean has to go out and deal with the police and by deal, I mean that he tries to talk to them and instead knocks them out. All the while Sam is seeing evil reflection Sam, and we learn that Sam was dreaming of Jess's death for days before it happened and that he blames himself for ignoring them and trying to be 'normal'.

Mary then climbs out the mirror like a scary lady and is holding the boys down with power.

But never fear... Dean holds up a mirror and shows Mary her reflection in the mirror and Mary is vanquished.

The mirrors all broken should have given us an inclination of how unlucky the boys would be in life.

Sam tells Charlie she should forgive herself for her boyfriend's death, good advice, and Dean says that Sam should follow his own advice.

Dean asks again what Sam's secret is and instead of using this perfect opportunity to tell Dean, Sam doesn't. Again... maddening.

[evas-spn-thoughts]

s01e04 - Phantom Traveler

This episode is one I honestly haven't watched a lot, the first 3 supernatural episodes I know like the back of my hand, but every episode until we get to 'home' I barely remember.

So this'll be fun to rewatch in much more detail.

All I remember about this episode is that it's about Demons - but demons before supernatural understood what they wanted demons to be, and also Dean is afraid of flying.

We start with a demon entering and then crashing a plane. I feel like media in the early 2000s was more careful about depicting destroying and crashing planes, but maybe that’s just me. It feels brave of supernatural to be showing a person actively making a plane crash. I suppose maybe that was more the immediate aftermath of 911 rather than in 2005, but I’m not researched enough to talk about this with any confidence.

We then get a very random full body shot of Dean sleeping. I feel like this type of shot is usually left for woman, while men get the objectifying shots of chests and muscles - the cameras are usually lingering on the one aspect of the man’s body they want to show off. Women are usually the objects of these long panning shots, but in Supernatural it’s Jensen that is gifted these objectifying panning shots and best believe I’ll point it out when I see it again.

I also feel generally uneasy about this start because until you know it’s Sam who walks into the room, it’s a very creepy scene. As a first time viewer it is laid out in a way that makes you feel uneasy about Dean’s safety - especially in the way they linger on him lying in bed, this is the most undressed we have seen Dean and thus the most physically vulnerable.

You get Dean in bed clearly undressed and also it focuses on his legs as an establishing shot.

The camera then pans up his body to his face, showing him with his eyes closed. It not a quick camera movement either, it takes its time.

You hear the door open and linger on Deans eyes opening.

A shadowy man walks through the door and stares through the glass seemingly at Dean - which is not a comforting shot.

Now substitute Dean with a random woman, if you didn’t get the uneasiness that I did, you should maybe understand now.

This doesn’t strike me as a scene meant to imply safety, and I am not implying that they want the watcher to not trust Sam, but until you see his face, it could be anyone and it’s just interesting framing, but Supernatural doesn’t always frame these boys in the stereotypical male way other shows might - exhibit A is the way they show off Dean lying in bed.

I want to make it clear that I am not saying Sam is a bad guy in this, nor am I implying that the show gives me the vibes that Sam is dodgy, if anything, seeing Sam come round the bend is actually a comfort.

Dean asks after Sam, he is making sure he’s okay. We hear that Sam hasn’t been sleeping, Dean makes it out like Sam not sleeping is bad because he’s meant to watch Deans back, but actually Dean is just worried about his brother and trying to pry in a way that doesn’t seem emotional. No chick flicks goddamn it!!

Sam says he’s still having nightmares about Jess and also that the job is getting to him. Dean makes it sound like the job doesn’t ever get to him, and Sam reaches under Deans pillow to pull out a knife, thus proving that the job does indeed get to him.

I like that we hear that after a few years away from hunting, getting back into it is messing with Sam a little bit, because it would - and it is a very alien mental place to have to stay in.

Then we get a phone call from someone asking for help - Winchesters Assemble!!!

The boys meet up with someone John and Dean had helped in the past, and get the rundown on the hunt.

While this is happening we gauge what John seemed like to others. This man - Jerry - said that John talked about Sam a lot, and Sam seemed surprised by that. While this could be an instance of Sam remembering childhood differently, I reckon it’s more likely that John was actually complementary of his children - or at least Sam when he went to college - but never to the boys faces because John is just kind of awful. But to others people, John has to look at least semi normal, so he boasts about his kids in a way he would never to them.

We hear a tape from the flight that went down and hear the drama and the boys begin their hunt.

Dean gets them the fake IDs they need, and they discover that the news is saying no one survived the plane crash, but the boys know seven people survived. They throw around ideas for what the monster could be, they never reference it being a demon which shows their inexperience with demons... boy how this will change. They immediately assume and guess ghost and haunted plane.

One of the survivors has checked himself into a mental health clinic, which fair enough, if I saw what he did and hadn’t seen supernatural, I’d probably do the same.

The boys go to see one of the survivors and speak to him, I love that they don’t try and assume he’s mad, nor do they disbelieve anything he says, they take it as fact and go along with it. Something like seeing a supernatural being would freak anyone out, and it would be easy to play it as ‘funny’ and try and make fun of someone who thinks they have mental health issues, but they don't, its played straight.

They continue their investigation with a lot of failing and confusion, nothing in this case is fitting with anything they have dealt with. Sam keeps saying ‘this doesn’t make sense’ as a transition and I find it very funny.

The boys finally, finally wear their suits.

And as a note to supernatural, trying to make it seems like Dean doesn’t look good in a suit or that he looks like a ‘seventh grader at his first dance’ is just a failure waiting to happen, Jensen doesn’t look bad in things, and as much as Dean may try and say different, he likes clothes and ‘dressing up’.

(I don’t mean dressing up in a sexual way nor in a belittling way, but I don’t love the implication that changing outfits for hunting and stuff is dubbed ‘dressing up’, also Dean just is fashionable. I mean have you seen the finale of the Winchesters, also some of the coats and suits the boys get in later seasons are just nice and they picked those out themselves).

Anyway… the boys go to the warehouse and look at the wreckage for more clues, some great fake fbi’ing from them. The set of the wreckage is very cool, good set dec and design on the episode.

We get an instance of Deans intelligence where he made an emf reader out of a Walkman, and that is impressive stuff and it takes knowledge and skill. But Sam is Sam, so he puts Dean down, which I kind of hate. Again we don’t need a smart brother and a dumb brother, they can both be intelligent. It makes Sam look bad as well and doesn’t endear him to me in the slightest.

For once the boys are caught out as being fake law enforcement but they get away.

We then see the demon possess someone else, and thank god the demon cgi gets better cause the smoke is way too pixilated.

We see that sulfur is all over everything and the educated among us know that means demons, but the boys… alas they are still sweet summer children and don’t know the implications.

We get the lore dump on demons and we get a nervous Dean who doesn’t really want to deal with demons saying ‘it’s not their usual gig’. It’s not the usual reaction for Dean to wish the monster was something else, which immediately raises the stakes of what a Demon is and how infrequently they are come across.

Dean wishes his dad was here, Sam agrees and then we get the phone call from Jerry where he tells them that his pilot friend died - which we saw a few minutes ago. I hate those tiny 2 seater planes, they freak me out a little bit and I’m not a nervous flyer.

So off the boys go to Nazareth 😂

They see that sulfer is again in this second crash, and that ‘get this’ the crashes happened 40 mins into the flight. We get some more of Dean intelligence when he mentions how the number 40 has biblical connotations - ‘It means Death’ and he puts together who the demon is going after.

We hear that Amanda is the only survivor left to get to and it seems like they are cutting it too close to reach her ‘even with Dean behind the wheel’. But Dean saves people and he feels the responsibility to save people so he steps on the gas and he will get there and they do get there.

Dean tries to get her away from the flight and messes up, but here is another example of him going with a lie into another lie after he is caught out. He is however unsuccessful and we get to discover another facet in the complexity of Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester is afraid of flying.

Sam understands and immediately offers to go on his own, which is very nice. I like this from Sam, other than assuming Deans joking which… fair enough, he takes it very seriously and doesn’t make Dean fly.

Responsibility is however, a very big thing to Dean so he does get on the flight.

Dean humming Metallica is a mood, when I’m nervous I listen to music so I totally get it.

Sam reminds Dean that he needs to be focussed on the hunt which helps Dean to try and ignore his fear and concentrate on the job.

They talk about how to check if anyone’s a demon and mention using ‘Cristo’. WHICH IS NEVER USED AGAIN!!!!!! Make it make sense, but I suppose I do get it, using lube based holy water is much funnier - for those who don't know, prop water for tv is water based lube, there will definitely be gifs out there of all the times Jensen gets splashed with that stuff.

Dean talks to Amanda and falls into generally easy conversation, as Dean usually does. He’s slightly awkward with the whole cristo bit, but it’s okay.

Dean gets nervous at some turbulence and Sam tries to gently coax him into calming down, but that doesn’t work, so he adopts what I would assume is his ‘John Winchester voice’ and is a lot more firm about Dean calming down and reminds Dean that the more nervous he is the more likely he is to be possessed. The firmness works better with Dean… probably because he’s used to it from John.

There is a weird moment where this man just leers at Dean while he is walking up the aisle, which is weird and unnecessary and slightly uncomfortable. Just another example of Dean being objectified/sexualised in some way, interesting that they make a man leer at him, it doesn’t reflect on Dean in any way, but I suppose it’s meant to make it weirder or maybe in the early 2000s it’s meant to be funny - it doesn't feel funny.

The boys discover who the Demon is and immediately talk to Amanda to try and fix everything. They do the speech and try and get her on side, which they do.

She gets the demon out of the cockpit and they subdue him… kinda.

She leaves and Sam begins the first of many exorcisms we will hear in the long running story of Winchesters vs Demons in Supernatural.

The demon distracts Sam by mentioning that he knows what happens to Jess and gets away, the plane begins to plummet, but Sam recites the exorcism while Dean screams 😂 and all is good on the plane.

Sam mentions that it knows about Jess, Dean counters that by saying that demons lie, that’s just ‘what they do’.

John Winchester is a dick. I said what I said. And we have barely even got to many of the clear signs of being a terrible father yet.

We find out he’s changed his voicemail and if anyone has a problem to ‘phone his son Dean’. Sam is visibly upset by the fact that he’s changed his voicemail so is clearly alive, but hasn’t got in touch with his sons in any way. They both listen to the voicemail and then I’m silence, they get in the car and drive away.

Sam is obviously angry, whereas Dean just seems resigned to the fact that this is now happening, he’s being sent on jobs and it’s what he has to do. I like the choice to have the boys sit in the silence.

I’m flying to Amsterdam tomorrow so maybe I shouldn’t have watched this episode but I’m not a nervous flyer so it’s fine.

Generally it was a very good episode and a good way to end with more questions, but it's not an episode that I really ever have the want to rewatch.

[evas-spn-thoughts]

s01e03 - Dead in the Water

We now get into episode 3, Dead in the Water...

It's a fantastic episode and great insight into Dean Winchester.

That's it, that's my whole intro.

So before I start my breakdown, I just want to say that I genuinely love this episode. The monster of the week aspect is fine, and the water aspect is very creepy and really works.

But, how they start to unpack the enigma that is Dean Winchester is my favourite thing. Dean in season 1 is very different to who he ends up being - part of that is good writing and part of that is an accident which ended up creating - imo - the greatest male fictional character on tv.

This is an episode that I can point to and say 'yes, that is the Dean Winchester that I see in the later seasons' because while the foundations are laid for who he is, there isn't a lot of obvious similarities between later seasons Dean and s1 Dean - but this episode unpacks the gentle side of him and how we know going forward that a lot of Dean Winchester is posturing and seeming tough, while actually being very caring and very loving.

I don't have a fear of water, but I am nervous swimming in lakes and any dark water, and this episode does not help with that anxiety. We open on a woman swimming and she gets dragged under, which is terrifying!!!!

It doesn't need to be said every episode, but my god Dean is pretty!!!

Sam annoys me a little bit with his whole judgement of Dean sleeping or flirting with anyone, like... it's entirely unnecessary, and makes him look like a bit of a dick. Its a very conservative view of sex and I suppose in 2005 there might have been a want to have the promiscuous brother - Dean - and the romantic brother - Sam, but now as I watch it in 2024 it feels a bit slut shamey. 

Sam is very touchy about finding dad, he gets annoyed about it very quickly, and it's funny because Dean isn't annoyed at Sam, until Sam implies that Dean doesn't care about finding John as much as he does. Dean goes on the offence and talks about Sam not being there and Dean being with John 'for the last 2 years'. 

This to me reads as Dean feeling attacked rather than actively trying to make Sam feel bad. The one thing you can always believe about Dean is that no one - other than Sam, maybe - cares about their family as much as Dean does, and Sam implies that Dean doesn't care which sets him off on the defensive, because Family is top priority for Dean, always.

Again Dean highlights the importance of saving people, not just finding dad. Another instance of his want to help people and not just kill monsters or be on a mental revenge quest.

Agent Ford and Hamill... God, some of the aliases are just not it.

Another example of Dean trying to go with someone to get to the truth, he messes up with the Dam and just goes with the punch to try and save face. It's not a massive thing, but it's funny to note that he's done that in this episode and the last. 

Dean meets Andrea, he's friendly, shakes her hand, isn't creepy or leering at her. Then he sees her son, Lucas, and immediately switches his attention to wanting to know how he is, when he doesn't reply, he moves on - but it clearly stays with him that Lucas doesn't talk. 

Him asking Andrea to take them to the motel is definitely veering more on the side of wanting a hookup, but the whole walk he is asking about Lucas, he doesn't do it well... but he is asking about that and not anything else. I don't see him asking about Lucas or saying 'kids are the best' as a chat up line, it's just Dean got a bad vibe from Lucas and wants more information.

Sam again doesn't know his brother all that well, because as we will find out, Dean Winchester is amazing with kids - from young kids all the way to troubled teenagers. It shocks me that in the same episode where we see Dean being so gentle with Lucas, we have his brother implying that Dean doesn't interact well with children. Like, that is not a way to show the brother bond, how Sam doesn't know that is beyond me - Dean raised Sam, how does Sam not see that Dean is a very nurturing and caring figure. I suppose it goes back to how differently Dean presents himself in front of Sam compared to how we end up knowing Dean to be, and maybe highlights how Sam remembers their childhood and how those 2 years away may have skewed his view on his brother.

Dean's caring instincts kick into overdrive when he finds out that Lucas saw his dad die. We literally see him look at the scenario in a totally different light, and he immediately can relate to Lucas. 

Sam does not have the same emotional reaction, he looks at it as a case, and sounds very calm about everything and is just stating the facts. This is the first clear instance we get of this case being very different for Sam than for Dean.

The minute Dean see's Lucas he has a one track mind for seeing if he is okay or knows anything about the lake.

Sam is finally understanding that Dean's care and interest in Lucas is not related to trying to sleep with Andrea.

Dean seems to see himself in Lucas almost immediately, which we will see more later in the episode, but to me, that is why Dean is so certain that Lucas knows something and saw something.

The scene between Lucas and Dean while they are drawing is amazing, its one of the core reasons why I love Dean Winchester, and part of that is Jackles and how he manages to make Dean sound so gentle when he talks to Lucas, but he also doesn't talk down to him. He manages to convey that Dean just cares... about everyone. He cares about this kid we met 5 minutes ago enough to understand that Lucas doesn't want to talk, but will listen and maybe just needs someone to understand him.

His voice and the slight break in his voice before he says 'that's... my mom' is so telling of how Dean is still not over her death, and it still affects him even 22 years on. These are all examples of instances where Jensen just does something, that he - even 3 episodes in - understands Dean Winchester.

'Kids are strong. You'd be surprised what they can deal with'. If that isn't Dean talking about himself - and most likely Sam, because Dean always puts Sam first. These throwaway lines give you an idea of what they had growing up, and how they likely had to persevere through a lot.

Clearly Dean trying with Lucas makes an impact, because Lucas trusts him enough to want to give Dean a clue and draws him a picture.

The whole hand in the sink thing is the second thing that creeps me out about this episode, it is awful!!

The boy are smart again - and I am here for it. They put together that it's coming from the lake not 'something that controls water'.

Dean not talking after Mary's death is one of my roman empires, I think about it so much. Because it makes total sense that he would stop talking. Dean feels so much all the time, so the idea that he was so scared after Mary that he couldn't talk makes sense. 

Dean very obviously sees himself in Lucas and through that he can connect to him, and also open up in a way he probably doesn't do a lot. 

We understand that Dean tries to be brave every day because of his mom, which is a knife in my heart. 

The blocking of the shot, and the fact that we see Dean talking to Lucas with Sam and Andrea lurking by the door is interesting, because at some point, the camera pans past Dean and makes him a blur and shows Sam very obviously and as the centre of the shot, and clearly you are meant to care about Sam's reaction to what Dean is saying and him learning something new about his brother. 

This plays into my belief that at least in season 1, Dean and Sam have a relationship that is slightly less brotherly, and leans into the fact that Dean raised Sam. This is a factor, because as everyone gets older, you start to understand and learn about the person that raised you, you start to see that when you were a kid you may not have noticed everything. Season 1 to me, is Sam learning about the man who raised him, and realising that how he remembers Dean may not be the true Dean, it would also explain why the softer and more vulnerable side to Dean is slightly alien to Sam, because as a parent, you try to hide the insecurities or struggles, and that's what Dean has done for Sam his whole life.

Sam tries to bring up the whole selective mutism thing that Dean has just talked about, but Dean is very quick to shut down any talk of that. Dean is very emotional and is not averse to talking about these things. But I think he needs to feel in control of how they are brought up and talked about, he needs to be the one to open up and not have Sam ask about it. It's part of Dean and his need to put up a front, he doesn't want to talk about things that make him emotionally vulnerable unless he decides to, and he will just shut down when he doesn't want something talked about - which I relate to.

This won't be the last instance of Sam learning something about their childhood, we get at least 2 more that I remember off the top of my head.

We get a lore dump, and some traumatic stories from an older woman. We also Mr Carlton talking to the lake. All the norm for Supernatural.

They go to the police station and are talking about the case. Lucas gets upset and tries to cling onto Dean, another way to show the trust Lucas has in Dean.

The boys get called out for not being rangers, and very aggressively get told to leave. They both stay quiet and agree to leave - even if they don't actually.

Dean's conscience gets the better of him, and we assume he heads back into town. Sam is doubtful, but Dean is very sure that they haven't solved the case, he says that Lucas was scared and he doesn't want to leave until he's sure Lucas will be okay.

Sam yet again has no clue who Dean is, because he is shocked that Dean cares about Lucas.

If there were water related deaths happening in my town, I would not be having a bath. Just saying.

Lucas is banging on the door, as Andrea is flailing around in the bath. Thankfully tv magic is at play and Dean and Sam come at the perfect time to save her. Dean stays with Lucas, and Sam saves Andrea.

Lucas begins to creepily stare out the window and then walks out to the shore line. Kids doing things while just staring is very off putting.

We realise that Andrea's dad and Bill Carlton killed Peter many years ago and the spirit is going after his family - which fair enough, if someone killed me, I'd be coming back as a spirit to get them.

He DROWNED a boy and he says they didn't mean to!!! Holding someone underwater is not an easy thing to accidentally do.

Lucas gets pulled underwater by the spirit and Dean jumps into save him.

Jake sacrifices himself to stop Lucas from being taken, and Dean gets Lucas.

Jensen talks about filming this, and it sounds terrible. Apparently he had divers holding his legs and trying to pull him under while he was holding the little boy who plays Lucas. Now I'm a strong swimmer but that still sounds awful, and they are wearing layers, so many layers.

Sam says that 'they can't save everyone' but he and Dean seem to be taking it hard that they didn't save Andreas dad.

In a very cute moment, Dean makes sure Lucas knows to say 'Zeppelin Rules' which is just adorable. Dean also gets another kiss from a woman he hasn't been flirting with but oh well, it's supernatural in 2005, its gotta happen.

Overall,

This is a very good episode, and the first since the pilot that keeps me entertained the whole way through, we steadily understand who Sam is as the show goes on and every episode so far has given us something new.

But there is something about uncovering who Dean is that just makes it feel more impactful, it might be that it just feels like we are getting an insight into something that the other characters don't see, and it might just be down to how magnetic Jensen is, that we constantly want to learn more about Dean and we learn things slowly.

[evas-spn-thoughts]

s01e02 - Wendigo

So now it's time for me to sit down and watch/review Supernatural s01e02. 

I just want you to know I have a glass of wine and I’ve just made and eaten some lovely pasta.

I don’t have anything to say beyond that, I just wanted to set the scene.

We have the first of our non brother related openings to episodes, it's weird to have it after the title screen. We get the creepy campsite, a guy gets grabbed, and we get the growling that a Wendigo episode deserves. 

This won't be the last mystery death opening, Supernatural gets very good at them, but also some of them are rubbish, this one in this episode is very good.

We get a well acted scene from one Jared Padalecki, he's brought flowers to Jess's grave. Jess will be the first of many people that Sam feels responsible for. We very quickly discover it is a dream, which is a shame, I'd like to think Sam would have gone to Jess's grave - they spent a week at the College after her death so maybe he did. 

We then cut to a very lovely moment where Dean is clearly worried about his brother, he asks if Sam is okay - Sam does the true Winchester response of 'yeah, I'm fine'. He asks if Sam had a nightmare - Sam coughs in response.

It’s not like those dreams will be super important to the plot or anything… not at all.

Dean is clearly worried about his brother, and Sam is not being forthcoming about how he's feeling, so Dean asks if he wants to drive. This clearly is not something Dean offers often, as Sam remarks on the fact that Dean 'has never once asked him that'.

We discover John is sending them 'to the middle of nowhere'.

They head to the coordinates John sent them, and immediately are looking for clues as to where John is. 

Sam very quickly lies and says that they are students, but is caught out, and Dean goes along with what the man assumes them to be. This is a funny exchange, as in the last episode, Sam did not want to be lying about credit card scams and being marshalls, but when he lies now, he uses part of the truth - he is/was a student. Whereas Dean, when he was called out, just made the man feel like he was correct and went along with it. Sam will get better at lying to people who don't matter, and Dean will continue to let people assume things, even if they are wrong.  

We get a stupid comment from Dean about Hailey being a 'pistol' and that could be to try and make it seem like he knows her, but it's also a stupid 2005 comment to try and make Dean seem like a womaniser or misogynist (as a side note, Dean isn't really a womaniser, sure he's a flirt, but he's not slimy about it and often I think he flirts because he's lonely, or it's what he thinks he's meant to do. Dean also flirts when he is uncomfortable so there's that). 

However, this comment also gets him more information about the situation, though once they leave, funnily enough Sam is immediately wanting to move on and head off to the specific coordinates, but Dean seems to have his hunters instincts turned to 11, because he clearly sees that something could be going on in the town, and wants to know 'what they are walking into'. This is a moment meant to show that Sam is maybe not in his right mind or thinking rationally about their next moves. 

They meet Hailey, Dean says they are Rangers. He gets impressed when she compliments his car, she's not flirting, he's not flirting, but she complements Dean's most prized possession, so he likes her. He doesn't try flirting with her when they are learning about his brother, he is completely professional. 

This is just an instance to highlight where it could be acted/taken as sleazy flirting, but it's not. I mentioned that Dean gets painted as a womaniser a lot, by writers, the fans, even by Sam, but so far I am not seeing it - again, it's not to say that he doesn't flirt, it's just not constant or overbearing. 

They look into the 'bear attacks' that have happened in the area, and go and see a man named Shaw about them. Shaw is hesitant to explain what he actually saw claiming 'they wouldn't believe him'. 

Sam and Dean are very good at convincing people they will believe what their story is, this is a trend that will continue throughout the show, they are very good at comforting and believing people, because they do, they believe them.

The boys decide to tag along with Hailey and her hired guy Roy. Dean 'doesn't do shorts' apparently - we will see this isn't true in s11.

From now on until the end of the episode we see a very interesting side to Dean, that is his relationship/interactions with older, military, commanding men and how he interacts with them. These interactions are usually Dean and a man who looks down on Dean, who maybe see's his pretty face and disregards him as a credible threat or player in what the scenario is.

Dean immediately starts questioning Roy about what he hunts and 'if anything hunts him back'. He's pushing at Roy, winding him up, but Roy, through saving him from a bear trap, show's Dean that he knows what he is doing.

Hailey calls out that the boys are not Rangers - well done to her, call them on their B.S.

Dean and Sam have some great non-verbal brother communication and both agree to tell her the truth, so Dean explains what they are doing there.

After he explains, she asks why they didn't tell her from the start, and Dean says 'I'm telling you now'. Then he mentions how this is probably the most honest he's ever been with a woman, which... just isn't true, in 11 episodes from now we will know that definitely isn't true. It clearly took a few episodes for the writers to give Dean some depth, and it probably helped that Jensen just doesn't play Dean as a one note character, even 2 episodes in, with no real backstory to him, I don't believe this is the most honest he's been with a woman, that feels like a lie. 

We see the camp... destroyed, and the brother's competency at hunting, they track that the campers have been dragged off and might still be alive, Dean notes that it isn't a black dog or skinwalker.

They start to put together that it isn't a person, and go off to look in John's journal, as the title suggests, they work out that it is a Wendigo, even though they shouldn't be 'this far west'. 

We get a situation where Sam wants to take charge and get everyone out of there. Roy gets aggressive and belittles Sam and his ability, Sam gets aggressive back and he gets in Roy's face - note that Sam is definitely not afraid to get into anyone's face and be aggressive. 

Sam is not emotionally stable in this episode, he is very reactionary about everything, doesn't want to sit around and get the information, and this interaction further proves that because he has no time for anyone's nonsense - which isn't like him, he is no nonsense, but he thinks about others. 

Dean gets involved, calms Sam down, and immediately sets up the next moves for the group - he uses that as motivation to calm everyone down.

We get another moment of Dean parenting/big brothering Sam. He mentions how Sam is clearly not fine, how Sam being so aggressive and doing first, asking questions later is just not like him. Sam talks about how John clearly isn't there, he would have left a clue/message. Dean doesn't think John's ever been there. 

In a very un-Sam-like move, he wants to get everyone safe and abandon the hunt to go and find John.

Dean makes the now famous comment about John wanting them to carry on the family business.

'I think he wants us to pick up where he left off... Saving People, Hunting Things. The Family Business'. 

Sam makes some valid points about John having a massive communication issue with his boys, which yeah, he's a Winchester, they don't make things easy for anyone - also John is just a dick. 

John and Sam's similarities come out during this scene though, and show how different Dean is to both of them. Sam wants to very quickly find Jess's killer and I would assume take revenge. However Sam desperation to avenge Jess feels like the exact same way John is desperate - even 22 years after her death - to avenge Mary. Whereas Dean is trying to highlight how patience is needed - clearly not having that same desperation. 

We get a beautiful moment from Dean, where you understand that Dean hunts because he saves people, he mentions that their family is messed up, but 'we can save some others, it makes things a little more bearable'. Dean implies that he thinks that in some ways their family is past saving, that they are 'screwed to hell', which may be the first inclination of Dean's truly awful self worth issues - and also this is the first idea that the Winchesters have some kind of 'curse' on their family, because as seasons go on, we see more and more that the Winchesters have had problems in their family since before the boys started to hunt. 

We hear the Wendigo, and while the boys try to keep everyone together, Roy runs off. Despite Dean not really liking Roy, he follows him, because Dean will try and save everyone - no matter who they are or if they have disrespected him.

We get the big game plan, and even bigger lore exposition. Wendigo's just sound kinda awful and scary, but they die via fire, so there's that. 

I do love both boys explaining lore, because they are both very intelligent, and I like when the show shows that about both of them, one isn't the brains and one isn't the brawn, they are both exceptional at all of it - with Dean probably being the best hunter out of any of them by the end of the show.

Dean and Hailey get taken by the Wendigo, so Sam and Ben go after it into its lair to get them back. Dean is strung up with Hailey, and Sam gets them down. We do get good news... Tommy is alive!!!! And they have flare guns. 

Dean uses himself as bait to try and lure in the Wendigo - 'do you want some white meat bitch? I'm right here'

God bless the cgi from 2005, they try their best. 

The darkness helps it not look as awful, but oh dear - I love the colouring of the first 5 seasons, but the increase in technical abilities from the later seasons is missed when I watch s1.

Oh Dean Winchester, you can't let anything be sincere for too long can you. 

Dean 'cheapens the moment' because this is normal for him, I think he feels like he's letting himself down when he isn't saving people so this is just normal for him, he saved someone... so what, he doesn't see himself as having done anything heroic by saving people, he is just doing his duty and anyway, its his responsibility. He gets awkward in moments of sincerity when he doesn't feel like he deserves to be thanked.

I like Hailey, there really are no vibes between her and Dean other than respect - which we see a lot of in later seasons between Dean and female characters. Dean is personable and he makes friends easily but he very quickly feels a responsibility to protect them. Dean and Hailey are no different. If anything, the later seasons show that Dean interacts with women in an easier and more natural way than Sam, he seems to have a closer relationship with every woman on the show - maybe apart from Rowena.

As a side note, I hate seeing Sam drive, I'm sorry, but it feels wrong, it isn't the Supernatural I know, and I don't like it - I'm glad they very quickly realise that Sam and Dean have different relationships to the Impala and what Baby actually means to them, and I'm glad Jackles was possessed by Dean enough to feel as protective of her as Dean does, and also it sounds like Jared wasn't a very good driver of Baby.

Overall, Wendigo is a fine episode, I enjoyed this rewatch, but it doesn't leave a lasting impact on me like some of the very best Supernatural episodes can. It is just run of the mill monster of the week.

[evas-spn-thoughts]

When Dean is scared, he gets angry - a rant.

Okay, I'm listening to a supernatural podcast. Now, don't get me wrong, I truly love this podcast and it's been so great to listen to and I have a great time - but my god do I feel like they don't know Dean Winchester.

However, it is fair to say that they don't dive into the characters as much as I do or maybe they just see the characters different to me, which is fine but it doesn't detract from my annoyance. This podcast is also over, so I can't send in any post season feedback on my thoughts, so instead I am gonna rant on here about my thoughts on Dean Winchester and his fear.

So to paint the picture... I'm listening to their coverage of the final episodes of s14 and they are talking about Dean and how angry he gets in those episodes. Now I am a Dean girl and he is my favourite character but also the way he reacts to his emotions is very obvious to me and I see myself in him, especially in him not functioning well when he is scared.

So to get to the crux of what I'm trying to say - Dean Winchester is emotional, he cries a lot more than Sam or any other character - and that is partly because Jensen gets a lot of the emotional moments - but also because Dean feels his emotions obviously and outwardly compared to a lot of the Supernatural characters. He feels so much that he actually cannot contain it, and that's why he's so loveable and loved - but also why he can be so frantic and feel stretched thin in certain storylines.

Something that is core to Dean Winchester is that when he gets scared he transforms that fear into anger. The majority of the time Dean is angry, it's actually because he is so scared of what is happening to him, or to a loved one, or just scared of what he is feeling and how much he cares.

This is key to understanding Dean Winchester, it is a fact of his character, but it's not stated obviously, you need to just watch and get it. Which is why some people do not see it, they only see the anger.

He does explain it in 12x10, he states clearly to Cas - "I'm not mad. I'm worried" - and this is one of the few times it's told and not shown, but unless you tie this fact into your fundamental knowledge of Dean Winchester it's easy to overlook. Even Sam and Cas assume that for the whole of 12x10 Dean is angry, so I do get how the audience can see it as purely anger, even though it isn't.

But I get annoyed when situations like the end of season 14 happen, and people on a podcast that I love read it as 'oh Dean is just so angry', it grinds my gears because to me, Dean is so clearly terrified that something has happened to his mom.

He is running on fear for that whole season tbh, he's just been possessed by Michael - and Dean doesn't like feeling out of control. He then moves into finding out his kid has potentially killed his mom and his best friend has known Jack hasn't been 100% right but hasn't told anyone, so how is he supposed to react rationally to all of this - Dean is all about trust and protecting his family, but to do so, he needs the whole picture.

Dean Winchester has 1 fundamental rule and that is to protect his family, and that is how he goes through life. In season 14, his mom is missing and his son is murdering people he loves, and his best friend kept information from him that got his mom killed. There is no clear good or bad guy for Dean to kill, so he gets scared and then get's angry - at everything.

Now this carries into season 15, and I think you need to see Dean as a man scared for the first like 5 episodes to understand how he's acting, and why he's so cold to Castiel, I think you also need to remember that this isn't the first time Cas has lied to Dean, and these lies have always led to some form of loss for Dean. So this isn't anger and fear about one action, but a build up of numerous examples of where keeping secrets has failed them.

Now yes Dean has lied to his family as well, but this is a tv show and these characters are human beings - and an angel - so they aren't going to be keeping score or thinking rationally about these things.

My general point is just that Dean is constantly scared, this stems from his childhood and his feeling of responsibility over everyone. So his anger is not just anger, it's a lot more complex. So when people dumb it down to Dean being angry and aggressive for no reason it feels unfair to who Dean is as a character.

Anyway, that's the end of my rant about Dean Winchester and how his anger isn't actually anger.

I hope it made some kind of sense, and if not, welcome to how my head works.

[evas-spn-thoughts]

s01e01 - Pilot

So, before we get into the episode breakdown, I am rewatching Supernatural and using this blog to catalogue my thoughts and feelings about the show. I am going to keep it generally spoiler free because I like watching the show like I've never seen it before, but I'll maybe add spoiler thoughts at the end because I also like talking about that. But there is something fun about watching the show, having seen it all, and reanalysing like you've never seen it before.

Dean is my favourite, and I am not always the nicest about Sam, but I am not needlessly negative about Sam either, I think he just doesn't have the complexities that Deans has, and also I feel Dean is the brother the watcher can analyse more than Sam. But if I catch anything about Sam I will be writing about it.

I am a Bisexual Dean truther, and am also a Bisexual woman myself so prepare for that, but I am not someone that subscribes to Sam being queer - that's never been something I've got from the show.

Now without further ado, let's get into the Pilot episode of Supernatural - and I'm going scene by scene (or big scene by big scene).

Supernatural opens on a house - it's the boys house in Lawrence, Kansas. Dean is four, Sam is a few months old and we see Sam Smith as Mary, and JDM as John. The opening shot does as much as it can to solidify the boy's life as normal and safe, but with the way it's shot, and with the fact that the show is called Supernatural, there is a tension the second the lights are off. It's in the music and the camera shots, there is just a feeling of unease.

Mary see's who she thinks is John in the nursery, but then goes downstairs and it isn't John. Now if I found out my husband was downstairs and not in my son's nursery, I would wake my husband before going into my son's room. Instead she doesn't and we see John wake up to a scream and thus the famous visual of Mary burning on the ceiling is born and 'Dean take your brother and go' is also born.

I don't think there is any situation where I would let my 4 year old carry my other child out of a burning house without me following immediately, but John Winchester and I are not the same.

After the title screen, we open in the present day - well 2005 - at University, where we immediately see a photo of Mary and John - this makes it an unknown as to the state of John, is he alive or dead like Mary. Jess is introduced to us, played by Adrianne Palicki followed by equally confusingly named Jared Padalecki who is our beloved Sam.

We are immediately shown that Jess and Sam are in a relationship. The relationship seems to be playful and easy. Sam also implies that he doesn't like halloween, which is just funny. Sam is doing law, he seems to be good at it, if his friends are anything to go by.

Jess is immediately likeable to me, and they create a general sense that she is very supportive of Sam, while also pushing him to be the best he can be. Sam comes across as quite modest, almost shy, but definitely endearing.

'Dad's on a hunting trip... and he hasn't been home in a few days'

There it is, the line that got me hook, line, and sinker into this show.

The framing of Deans introduction is very interesting, because starting this episode we have a situation where a noise wakes someone up and they are then killed. So when Sam gets woken up in the middle of the night, as a viewer, I was immediately wary. Instead of murder, we are greeted with Dean Winchester, played by Jensen Ackles, who I will end up calling Jackles - as many do.

Dean and Sam fight, and immediately Dean mentions Sam being rusty. Now I see this sneak attack as a way to judge and test Sam's skills, to see how 'rusty' he actually is. Dean seems impressed to note that Sam isn't really that rusty.

One of my hatreds in TV is the whole 'anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of both of us' because in the end its never something you can say in front of both of them. Supernatural is the exact same, Dean says the famous line, and Jess has to leave.

(Edit: The fact that Dean Winchester 'waited for hours' outside Sam's place because he wasn't sure he would be welcomed breaks me. He put up this confident front when he finally found the courage to go see Sam and hoped that his brother wouldn't throw him out. Dean Winchester from the beginning doesn't want to be abandoned and yet is constantly waiting to be abandoned, and yet he still puts himself in positions where he has to be vulnerable and just puts up his facade in hopes he won't get called out on his massive abandonment issues).

Ahhh the famous audition dialogue. This scene is very interesting to me, because it paints a picture of both of the brothers perspectives of their lives, while showing how Sam especially, could have a wildly different view of Dean than we have of Dean - especially on a rewatch.

Now to be fair to Sam, he makes some good points, if my brother broke into my house and told me to hit the road I'd question it - especially as it is implied that Sam has not seen Dean in the 2 years he's been at college - ‘In almost 2 years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing’.

Sam mentions multiple times that John has been ‘missing’ before, that ‘he's always missing and he’s always fine’. Which paints an immediate picture of John Winchester and how reliable he is.

Sam says he has quit hunting - although he makes it sound like an addiction rather than a job. 'I swore I was done hunting, for good' - that's how someone talks about drinking, or going back to a relationship that is toxic.

Sam makes the point that ‘we were raised like warriors’. While Dean is quick to say that their childhood ‘wasn’t easy but it wasn’t that bad’. There is already an implication that John had an obsession with hunting and that it superseded being a father. Dean is very accommodating for John, quick to defend - Sam clearly is not, but Sam has also had years away from his father and brother.

When it comes to hunting Dean focuses on the saving people part of the hunting, he sees it as a positive and the reason to be doing it. Which is a very interesting and important character note for Dean Winchester - it is core to understanding who Dean is and why he does everything he does.

Dean is trying his damnedest to convince Sam to come along and look for their father, it's interesting that ‘not wanting to do it alone’ is what gets Sam to cave. Dean shows a slight bit of vulnerability and already we are seeing that what he presents himself as, may not be the entire truth. He doesn't want to do this alone, its a family matter, so he wants his brother - who he hasn't spoken to in years - to go with him and Sam agrees.

We get the first look at the Impala and her weapons. We also get the first count of Sam having a view of who Dean is and what John will allow him to do in his comment about ‘Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself’ - we are going to keep count of how many times it seems like Sam has a different view of Dean than we do.

We get the exposition of the monster of the week, and a peak at the intelligence of Dean Winchester - which is immediately commented on by Sam.

We then get Sam packing because he has agreed to find John. Jess is again a pretty amazing girlfriend, she is supportive, but also firm in reminding Sam of the interview he has. She's not saying this for any reason other than wanting Sam to make sure he prioritises his future - at least that's how I see it.

We also get the first inclination that Jess does not know what Sam and Dean were raised doing.

They are at a gas station and we get another iconic line in this scene. We get more of Sam looking down on Dean and Dean's credit card scams - which is something that seems to be a trend with Sam at least in this episode. We get him slandering his music and his diet.

This scene is generally here to show the brothers dynamic, and show how Dean has and gets money. But it's a nice way to show that Sam truly is the annoying but loving little brother.

And we get an ‘it’s Sam’ after Dean calls him Sammy. 

It’s interesting to see how Sam’s attitudes to hunting changes as the show goes on. He is very flippant about it right now.

Let the fake FBI’ing begin, as well as just constantly manipulating witnesses.

Sam and Dean look far too young to be Federal Marshals, which is just something Supernatural wants you to accept and ignore - all the police in the Supernatural world can be and will be scammed and manipulated, you just need to accept that.

Dean does not respect police - which is something I will monitor as we progress, because Dean and authority figures is an interesting dynamic. He seems to find it annoying that they know the truth of what killed the person, and the police don’t, but that doesn't really come back up - at least as far as I remember, Dean just has issues with people of authority, and especially older men talking down to him.

We get another great little sibling moment when Dean hits Sam, I have definitely done that to my little brother. Sam seems to be much more able to deal with police without getting snarky or sassy, and Dean doesn't appreciate being handled or shut up.

The boys corner the dead man's girlfriend, and I know it's a tv show but those women are very trusting. I don't know that I would trust two random men claiming to be my boyfriend's uncles.

We get to the first scene the boys filmed - the chemistry was there from the start, and we get an interesting interaction where Sam calls Dean a control freak - maybe it stems from the fact that he had to be very put together because he lived on the road, and had to move around a lot - again something more to Dean Winchester that you may not think would fit into his character. They make Sam the tech savvy one - will be interesting and annoying to keep watch over how they show the boys' intelligence throughout the show.

The boys go back to the bridge the guy at the start died on, and that the police were on during the day. Dean makes a comment about the case ‘taking a while’ but Sam is quick to remind him he has an interview on Monday to which Dean says he forgot about. I don’t believe that - he says 'Monday' at the same time as Sam, that isn't the reaction someone who forgot about it would have. 

Dean really doesn’t believe people can just leave the hunter lifestyle, he also very quickly brings up the idea of Jess not knowing about how Sam was raised. ‘She’s not ever going to know’ - Sam is very quick to veto the idea of Jess ever knowing about Sam and hunting, which is in direct comparison to Dean who we find out did tell a partner of his about hunting- Dean also makes a comment about Sam lying, and implying that it isn't a healthy thing for a relationship.

‘You have a responsibility’ - Dean is very big on the idea of hunting being a responsibility, that he has to do it. It links back to him having the saving people part of hunting being the most important part of it. Interesting that Dean doesn’t get to finish his point about responsibility - so Sam infers Dean is talking about their father but is he????

Sam is very quick to say that he is not a hunter and is not like Dean - ‘I'm not like you… this is not going to be my life’.

We find one of the sensitive topics for Dean, that being Mary. He does not like anyone sounding at all disrespectful of Mary, when really all Sam did was tell the truth. John’s crusade will not bring her back, and Sam was too young to know or remember what Mary looked like without pictures. The show is establishing that Dean has a different relationship to Mary’s memory than Sam and that it is a sore spot for him.

The boys find John's motel room and this whole scene is basically there to show the audience that the monster is a Woman in White. 

The scene also establishes how the boys show love to one another, because Supernatural is not a show where anyone says ‘I love you’. The boys build up to a chick flick moment and even after watching only one episode of this show, I can guarantee Dean likes chick flicks. The jerk/bitch thing is definitely a way for the boys to say I love you but in a manly way because why would men show emotions. (I would like to highlight that Dean Winchester is a highly emotional person, don’t let this scene fool you).

Dean heads out of the motel and sees police and immediately warns Sam - this shows how seamlessly the boys actually work together.

Dean Winchester is just all confidence, even in the face of policemen. If you didn’t love him already, the whole shoved against a car thing should really do it for you. 

This is an example of Dean making a sexual or flirtatious comment when placed in a high stress situation, he does it a lot, and it seems to be quite automatic for him. He’s definitely being sassy to try and make sure Sam gets away, but there were other ways for him to do that. He wanted to draw attention.

He’s slammed against the car and then taken to the station, where he starts being questioned. He makes a comment about being in trouble and is it ‘squeal like a pig’ trouble - interesting reference to make. It's not a saying - well it is, but from this movie called Deliverance (1972). Don’t know what to make of that reference and how deep into it to go, as Dean could fully be mixing metaphors or just meaning ‘look how screwed i am’ but this post goes into it much more.

The second dean sees John's journal, he goes quiet. The performance is over and he just wants to see what it says and see if it can help him find his dad.

While Dean is with the police, Sam goes to Joseph's house - the Woman in White’s ex husband - and says he's a reporter, and we find out that is what John said he was when he went to question the husband. Sam seems quite emotionally intelligent when talking to witnesses and also quite happy to manipulate - and I don't mean that as a negative. He knows when to push and when to let them say as much as they want. He allows Joseph to paint a picture of a happy marriage, and goes for the killing blow after he has been lulled into a false state of security. It highlights Sam's intelligence and ability to hunt, showing that while he may have been away from hunting for a while, he hasn't lost his skills.

All this scene is trying to show is that good old Dean-o knows how to break out of handcuffs - literally that's it, and then its over.

There is a cut to Sam is in the Impala and Dean calls - we find out Sam was the call that got the police to leave. The numbers 35-111 left in the journal were coordinates of where John disappeared to. This feels very cold towards his sons, and quite in line with what we are slowly learning about the John Winchester school of parenting. 

Dean calls it ‘Ex-marine crap’, it doesn’t sound like he loves it - again pulling apart the good, dutiful son picture we are being painted. 

In a jump scare that actually works - Sam drives through the woman in white, then she appears in the back seat saying ‘take me home’. She also upgraded to controlling cars as she is driving it from the back seats. They get to her house - and she basically tries to assault Sam, and I hate it. Then she sticks invisible fingers in his chest because Sam didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend. 

Dean appears and shoots her through the window. Sam drives her into the house - it's a bit of a crash. She sees her children in a photo and then pins the boys between a chest of drawers and the car. Creepy kids stand at the top of the stairs with water running down them - they then hug, she screams and they all vanish. 

Another great sibling dynamic moment of belittling each other's accomplishments and lightly tapping on something that hurts - Dean patting Sam's chest which had fingers dug into it not even 5 minutes ago made me laugh cause yeah, fair enough.

We find out that John is in Colorado. Dean wants to go, Sam has his interview - we definitely are meant to get the impression that Dean has thoroughly enjoyed having his brother with him on this hunt.

When Dean is dropping Sam off outside his place and saying goodbye he was definitely gonna say something emotional but changed his mind. I know I said Dean is emotional - and he is - but he needs the opening from the other person to actually open up. Otherwise he feels like a burden, he won't just start a conversation with how he is feeling.

Woman on the ceiling 2: electric boogaloo.

Sam walks into the apartment and hears the shower running, classic misdirection. If you hear water, there can't be fire or a dead woman. Turns out it's Mary 2.0 and Jess is dead on the ceiling which then catches fire.

Thank god Dean is there to pull Sam out and he didn't actually drive away. I mean of course he didn’t drive away, because Dean has good instincts and Sam is his responsibility, he makes sure his kid is okay, even if that means ensuring Sam gets into his apartment safely.

This scene directly draws comparisons between John and Sam with both their loves dying on the ceiling, and it won't be the last time Sam and John are shown to be very similar, even if Sam spends a lot of this season slandering John. 

‘We’ve got work to do’ - yeah you do!

Final Thoughts

The pilot is a very good intro to the world of supernatural and gives you a good clue as to who the boys are. There is more depth given to Sam, but seeing as he was meant to be protagonist numero uno, it makes sense.

(I don't subscribe to the idea that both brothers were meant to be leads from the get go, it was 100% meant to be the Sam show, but that's neither here nor there, and it didn't end up being the Sam show so...)

Dean will get his character development in a few episodes anyway, and then there is no turning away from what Dean Winchester can become.

They immediately set up this link between John losing Mary and Sam losing Jess and I find that very interesting because I didn't catch it in my first watch, but now I completely see it. However, it's interesting that Dean doesn't have this 'hero's journey' beginning to his story, whereas Sam and John get theirs at the end and beginning of the episode respectively.