evil-apprentice-wizard - Tumblr blog

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

it’s normal to think about worms this much

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

This is Maggie's worm collection

She loves her worms more than any other toy. She plays with them loads and carries them around the house

At night the worms have to go in a box so that she doesn't wake me up playing with them. So every evening before bed I gather up the worms, put them in their box and have Maggie say goodnight to them.

Night night worms!

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

come in the water please please please i swearrrr i won’t drown you

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

Eggy: Aargh...

*They're blushing.*

*Agathon has left the room.*

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

Eggy: Er...hahaha, yes! They are evil!

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"

And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down

Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

Eggy: You take that back right now!

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

Eggy: >:(

Agathon: Oh man, I'm quaking in my boots.

Eggy: My mentors are super evil, though!

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

*Eggy lets themselves smile*

Eggy: That'd be nice.

Eggy: Agathon, when you get back with your girlfriend, you've gotta introduce me to her. I gotta give her the scary older sibling talk.

Agathon: I'm sure you and Viola would get along fine. Please don't try to scare her.

Agathon: By the way...is there divination protection on your lair? She couldn't find you.

*Eggy puffs up, looking proud.*

Eggy: One of my mentors and I cast those wards! Vexum's so cool...

Agathon: I see. Are your mentors... evil?

Eggy: Of course! I'm evil! Tell him, Theo!

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

Eggy: I'll help you cast a spell after this is over.

*Spamuel looks happy at the idea of having a new friend.*

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

*Evil Apprentice Wizard grumbles and goes to put the finishing touches on the fortifications.*

Agathon: Do you have a familiar, good wizard? Our family keeps ours rather close, so...well, Eggy was always a bit left out, with how they could never summon one.

*Spamuel and Rachel are keeping lookout together*

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

Eggy: You are dastardly, darling. The worst villains deny it. Now eat your peanut butter sandwich.

Agathon: So this is how you flirt.

Eggy: Shut up.

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

Eggy: Lying is evil. I'm glad you've finally joined the dark side.

*They go to get you food.*

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...

[evil-apprentice-wizard]

*Evil Apprentice Wizard catches you.*

*Well, they crumple a bit. But it's the thought that counts.*

Eggy: Sit down, I'm getting you food and you're going to rest.

@good-wizard

(Back at the house)

*Eggy collapses, curling up into a ball. Spamuel does the same.*

Eggy: Fucking hell...