evil8keta

[evil8keta]

i just discovered ur blog and read all of the imagines i love them omg

thank you! i have fun writing them!

[evil8keta]

Are you still alive?

that's a VERY personal question, you know!

[evil8keta]

Could you do the mercs with a short reader who's strong enough to pick them up? (Except for Heavy lol, maybe they can pick up Sasha)

thank u anon this request is very funny

mercs x reader who's STRONG

SCOUT

- he constantly asks you to arm wrestle and fight with him because he just refuses to believe that someone THAT small could be THAT strong... of course, scout always looses every match with you and hurts his own ego in the process. on another note, if you were to pick him up, i feel that he might enjoy it a little? strangely enough? he just finds ur strength impressive haha... he's NEVER telling you that though!!!

SOLDIER

- so proud of you, whenever you show off your strength soldier wipes a tear from his eye because to him you are the peak american citizen (even if you're not american). he respects you a lot and constantly boasts about you to the others. ofc they all know you're strong but in case they ever forget it, soldier would be here to immediately remind them by gently yelling into their ear "LOOK AT MY STRONG LITTLE WARRIOR! THEY CAN PUNCH THROUGH A TREE!"

PYRO

- oh they look up to you!! and they think you're soooo cool for being so strong!! they're curious what your limit might be, so sometimes pyro just yanks you by the arm and leads you somewhere, then they point at various objects like "can you pick this up? what about THIS?" and it's like a table or whatever and ofc you can pick it up. then pyro points at themselves like "what about me? :3" HEHEHE

HEAVY

- ok you definitely tried to pick him up at least once but sadly yeah this guy is above your limit. it's okay though, he doesn't have the heart to tell you, so whenever you ask him if you can pick him up again, he says yes, fully knowing the outcome... you might be strong enough to pick up his gun, which is quite impressive. but does he trust you enough to hold it? hmm maybe that's another story...

DEMOMAN

- you two are frequently seen carrying one another. your strength is very handy when demo gets too drunk to walk, sometimes the others call you like "hey you go take care of demo again..." and yes he's pretty strong too, so when you need carrying, or you know you're just a silly individual who likes to be picked up, then my bro will carry you with a smile on his face. friendship

ENGINEER

- aww he's like so proud of you. he has no reason to but he is trust me. if your strength isn't inherent and you actually work out or lift weights, engineer will definitely give you daily doses of healthy motivation. yes you may pick him up, he think it's so cute when you sweep him off his feet with a hug. also he MIGHT use your strength sometimes around his workshop, like asking you to carry heavy tools or parts of machinery and stuff

MEDIC

- ngl if you can pick him up he'll start blushing and giggling and shit. not even in a romantic way he just finds it very charming. he's just vibing somewhere and then he spots you, maybe you're not even approaching him but if you happen to be in the general vicinity of him then he's gonna be like "oh! oh no! a big bad merc is coming to get meee!" and he starts like, pretending to run away. does he want you to chase him? what a weirdo!!!! also asks for your help during operations sometimes. like yes please help me carry demoman onto the patient bed so i can do lobotomy on him, thank you

SPY

- DONT PICK HIM BRO!! he's not gonna like that. spy thinks it's a bit strange how you can be tiny and lift incredible weights at the same time but if you're only using your strength to torment him then he's gonna start avoiding you lol. however, if you are kind enough to not pick him up without warning, he might start asking you to do stuff for him since you're so strong. like opening a jar of pickles.

SNIPER

- lowkey chill about it. he thinks you're admirable but he's not gonna be making a big deal out of it. you can pick him up but please ask first, otherwise he might learn to distrust you... and we don't want that fr. BUT if you're nice to him then it's the opposite. most of the men on the base are strong but he trusts YOU the most. he'll definitely ask you for help. sniper isn't weak but he's a bit lanky, so if he ever struggles with carrying something heavy, you're the first person he asks!

[evil8keta]

can i please fucking beat up spy for not bathing like jesus christ (ok to be srs i'd love to see stupid crack stuff w/ spy; if that's available LOLL)

i started saying that he stinks as a joke but yeah, what if this mf smells

spy x reader: chasing your bf around the base like he's a cat that doesn't want to take a bath

- no spy it doesnt matter how expensive your cologne is if you don't wash your mask every few days ur mask is gonna STINK

- mf is GONE. disappeared. so you go around the base asking the other mercenaries whether they have seen the stínky man. "pyro! have you seen spy anywhere?" the firebug shakes their head, and you frown. like damn where tf is he!!!

- you continue looking and asking around until you reach scout's room, you knock and peak your head inside, smiling when you notice that the bostonian is there, reading a book about philosophy.

"hey scout, do you know where spy is?"

"nah, haven't seen him anywhere."

- scout says without even looking at you. "oh" you say with a pout. well, better keep looking. you're about to close the door and say goodbye to scout and leave him to read Albert Camus-- wait, scout? reading? HE CAN'T READ! you have never done a double take so fast.

"I FOUND YOU SPY! YOU THINK I'M THAT DUMB?"

- if you suggest taking a bath with him he MIGHT actually do it. take ur mind out of the gutter btw, its quite a wholesome experience

- remember kids hygiene is important. perfume/cologne does NOT do the job!

[evil8keta]

Mercs with a reader (PLATONIC)

who’s personality is kinda like invader zim? Not exactly like him, but just has that loud, crazy, demeanor?

HELL YEA! I LOVE CRAZY PPL

mercs with a loud and energetic reader

SCOUT

- i'm gonna be honest, scout was probably scared of you at first lol. he thought you're actually insane, but i think over time he would kinda grow a liking for you? so congratulations, you're now his prank buddy. actually, you're pretty much his buddy for any and all stupid shit that scout wants to do

SOLDIER

- oh he LOVES you!! i mean you're kinda like a mini version of him, so from the moment he saw you he pretends he's your dad or something. you two often yell at eachother and soldier is very proud of you and loves your enthusiasm, he thinks you're a fighter. this man does a lot of stupid and dangerous shit with you and hypes you up 24/7. you two are a powerful duo

PYRO

- now, pyro can be a bit immature, but i don't think the're the type to be very loud and eccentric like you. because of this pyro was also probably a bit scared of you at first (having pyro scared of someone is quite an accomplishment might i add). but over time pyro will most likely get used to you. i mean it's not like you're an evil threat or something you're just loud and off the walls lol. you two do get up to a lot of silly shenanigans together

HEAVY

- ughhh...so loud. heavy doesn't like very loud people, but he will tolerate you. eventually he kinda grows a soft spot for you, idk why. maybe he just likes weird crazy people like that (looks at medic). anyway, heavy actually really enjoys having you around despite your high energy. unfortunately for you, he can be a killjoy. he will often talk you out of new fun things that you wanna try if he finds them too dangerous. or he straight up just man handles you and throws you over his shoulder to make sure you dont do anything stupid. anyway he loves you, you're like a little chihuahua to him

DEMOMAN

- oh you two are very similar so i think you'll get along very well. i'm talking buddies in crime, constantly getting up to weird and crazy plans that may or may not result in a few broken limbs or mental trauma (not for you two, but for those watching you). you both literally share one braincell. also he kinda views you as his younger sibling

ENGINEER

- for someone as laidback as engie, he surprisingly doesn't mind people with high energy. he actually thinks you're pretty silly and enjoys watching you do crazy shit cause it's kind of charming to him?? he's just happy to see you have fun. the only thing that he's a bit scared of is letting you in his workshop... like yeah, he trusts you! just.. maybe not THAT much..

MEDIC

- omg he loooves your high energy. you guys can be unhinged together all the time, he definitely hypes you up. however, sometimes he needs his calm moments so he can focus on his work. don't take it personally but he might lock you out his lab so you don't disturb him. but other than that you can bet he pulls you into a lot of crazy shit, even sharing all his strange medical plans and findings with you

SPY

- TOO LOUD TOO LOUD! sorry buddy spy will avoid you like the plague. he does think you're fun to watch but only from a distance. he's got enough maniacs on the team already y'know? it's not that he dislikes you but whenever you try to engage with him he acts irritated and just tries to escape you. get his ass

SNIPER

- same with spy, too loud. you know sniper, he's a quiet guy who keeps to himself and overall prefers silence. he does think you're cool and funny though and even joins in on your crazy shenanigans from time to time. as long as you don't yell his ear off he will definitely like you

[evil8keta]

OH MY GOD WELCOME BACK !!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

woah someone remembers me!!! thank you!

[evil8keta]

Ok so I have a request and it’s kinda like a self-insert..

So.. A Platonic mercs and fem!reader who wears masculine clothing and has short hair. (Like a pixie cut or half-shaved head) The mercs think she’s a boy at first. But then they find out that.. *gasp* it’s a girl! How would they react? Again, platonic please, I don’t ship myself with any of them!

- Random Anon

I LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH!! the scenario for this is that you had no idea that the others think ur a boy lol....also they all found out during a group meeting or something

the mercs find out that... *gasp* you're a GIRL?!

SCOUT

- WHAT?! WHAT???! he can't believe it.... scout immediately ran up to you and drowned you in questions like "are you sure you're a girl?? are you ABSOLUTELY sure??" eventually he was peeled off of you by spy cause he was being too annoying lol. anyway this big gender reveal surprisingly doesn't change how he behaves around you he was just very dramatic when he found out

PYRO

- gasp!!! no way!! pyro is so surprised!! they all have been misgendering you this whole time and you had no idea!! :( because of this pyro feels bad... but again, it doesn't change how they feel about you at all lol. they would definitely go up to you later and apologize to you for thinking that you're a man (not like you can understand their muffled voice through the mask anyway)

SOLDIER

- stares at you like this >:O for a whole minute then shrugs it off like eh whatever. nothing changes, he's glad they got your gender right now but it's not a big deal! he's going to treat you the same... at least NOW he understands why you gave him a feminine flowerly deodorant when he asked to borrow one from you

HEAVY

- oh... well, that's interesting. he tries his best to stay calm and not look surprised but the confused expression on his face and wide eyes say otherwise. he eyes you suspiciously, but stops suspecting you pretty quickly. it's obvious that you weren't hiding anything, and they all just assumed incorrectly, so it's their fault not yours lol. he's pretty chill after that, and the way he treats you doesn't change either, maybe he's just a little bit more careful towards you

DEMOMAN

- starts shouting and is the second one to question you right after scout is peeled off of you, smh. "SINCE WHEN WERE YE A LASS???" really confused and dramatic and it takes like 10 minutes to calm him down. after that he might actually start acting nicer towards you? idk to me he just seems like he really respects women. it's not a big difference he's just more of a gentleman

ENGINEER

- bamboozled but not for long. like at first he's like scratching his head and thinking about how come no one noticed sooner. but then he shrugs it off, smiles and starts congratulating you as if you had your own gender reveal party. you're his daughter now

MEDIC

- ALWAYS knew you were a girl, he read it in your medical files, but after he noticed that most of the other mercs view you as a man, he played along. for fun. however when you said you're a girl in front of everyone he was like gasping and covering his mouth, like omg?? you're a girl?? wowww right he sure had no idea... /s

SPY

- is....very surprised, but tries to not show it. spy ran background checks on literally everyone in the base, including you, so how did he not figure out you're a girl sooner..? perhaps he was too convinced that you are a man that he didn't bother to check lol. anyways after his initial surprise he's quite indifferent but he might but he might be more wary of you from time to time. like what else could you be hiding, huh?? you're secretly the president of Czechoslovakia or something??

SNIPER

- not gonna lie bro was sleeping the entire time of the meeting....then he heard the world "girl" lol and immediately woke up, looking around in confusion. after he came to his senses he was speechless for a while, like woah... you're a girl? okay. yeah he really doesn't care and just went back to napping. like yeah, good thing that everyone knows now, but it's really not any difference to him. he might treat you more gentlemanly afterwards tho, but that's just his manners

[evil8keta]

love it when ppl depict fem!sniper looking like a 40+ yr old divorced lesbian. like yeah that's her

[evil8keta]

miss pauling and scout with a shy reader

scout

you know that phrase “an extrovert adopts a shy person”? well that’s exactly what happened here. you caught scout’s attention when she started to see that you were quite shy, which none of the other mercenaries are. she will try to talk to you or make you answer her invasive questions, however after a while she starts to learn to respect your personal space and of course you will become friends. he will try to talk to you or make you answer his invasive questions, however after a while he starts to learn to respect your personal space and of course you will become friends. he will start saying that you should raise your voice more so that the others notice you, speak your mind as no one in the team will judge you or make fun of you, and if they do they will get a good whack from scout’s bat.

miss pauling

she is much calmer than scout, she won’t pressure you and will follow your rhythm to get closer to you. you will start to talk more and spend more time together sharing opinions, likes or ideas. from time to time she will ask you to help her with small tasks, but it will be an excuse to spend time with you since she likes your company. she is certainly surprised when she sees your performance on the battlefield as she did not expect that someone so shy could kill someone like that, after she sees that she will have nothing but compliments. if someone dares to bother you or insult you for being shy she will already be putting a bullet in their skull.

[evil8keta]

Hi!!! :) can you please write for the mercs’ s/o who is very educated on things like history or plants!

as a fellow plant and history enjoyer, this was quite fun to write :D

mercs x reader who studies history and plants

SCOUT

- when he was young, scout got little to no education. as a result, he kinda grew to have this slight bit of scorn for people that are very smart and educated...not you though! he has so much respect for you! :D he was never curious about history or plants, but after he noticed how much you know about these two topics, he was amazed! scout really likes it when you talk to him about the things you know!! and even though it might seem like he's simply passively listening, he actually remembers a lot of the stuff you say

PYRO

- thinks you're so cool and smart!!! they aren't very interested in history, but they really like flowers, so they often ask you random questions about plants and stuff :]] also, they really like when you ramble about the things you're educated on. like, you can be explaining plant photosynthesis or talking about some war that took centuries ago, and pyro is gonna sit there listening to you with stars in their eyes... they don't understand half the things you're saying, but they admire you nonetheless!

SOLDIER

- at first, soldier doesn't think too much of your knowledge. like yeah, it's impressive, but he's the type of person to prefer brawn over brain, if you know what i mean....HOWEVER, that changes completely if you're educated on american history (i mean what else did you expect xD) soldier is able to listen to you talk about american history for hours. so much knowledge...he thinks you must be the smartest person on earth! because of this, he often brags about you to others!! isn't it totally awesome that he has such a cool and clever s/o? he's sure everyone is jealous!

HEAVY

- he's actually really smart, and even though he's not educated on the things that you are, he does enjoy having intellectual conversations with you! his favorite thing to discuss is definetely history, he loves to learn from you and in return he can tell you some bits and pieces of russian history if you're interested. heavy really admires you for being so educated!!

DEMOMAN

- LOVES to listen to you talk. demo always shows genuine curiosity and has frequent questions about your field of education. he always listens intently and actually remembers a lot of the stuff you teach him about!! and because you're on his mind 24/7, he often quotes the things you said in front of the others, which is pretty sweet of him :) it's also really funny when he's quoting the things you said while he's totally wasted. since he can't speak or think properly, he mixes it up and says complete nonsense instead lol. one time he got really drunk and said that george washington was the first king of poland

ENGINEER

- he's pretty chill about it, like YES omg he thinks it's very cool that you're so smart and educated about the things you enjoy, but this man would admire you even if your brain was the size of a peanut yk. he loves your voice and how happy you sound when you talk about your interests, so he often lets you passionately ramble to him while he works on his machinery :D

MEDIC

- so amazed!!! medic was never much interested in plants or history, but he picked up a huge liking towards both of these topics after you started talking about them with him. he actually manages to remember like 90 % of the stuff you tell him about, so he often repeats whatever you told him to his patients. it can be something silly and trivial, like the fact that bamboo grows really fast, but he always seems so happy and excited to share the things he learned from his wonderful s/o!!!

SPY

- think your knowledge is really, REALLY admirable. spy has huge respect for smart people (since most of the time he's surrounded by idiots lol). he knows you're passionate about plants and history, so from time to time he asks you random questions, partly to show support for your passion and partly because he's genuinely curious to hear what you have to say. one simple question usually turns into more and suddenly you guys spend the entire afternoon talking about the medieval bubonic plague, how fun!

SNIPER

- sniper is a smart dude, but more in a practical way than academic, so he didn't really see the appeal in your specific fields of knowledge at first. though over time he realizes that your knowledge is actually...well, cool. entertaining, even. he finds himself enjoying listening to you talk about whatever comes to your mind and quite often joins you in a conversation. he doesn't know much about history, but he's an outdoorsy person, so he knows a lot of things about nature. he loves to teach you AND learn new things from you aswell. also he's secretly very impressed by how smart you are ;D

[evil8keta]

okay, which mercs are dog people and which are cat

[evil8keta]

I like you writing yes

AW THANK YOU! :D

[evil8keta]

Yo you good

yup!! i've been focusing more on school lately, so that's why i'm not as active as i used to. dont worry though!!! i'm still working on all the requests

i'm doing awesome and i hope you all are too! >:)

[evil8keta]

this is very self indulgent but i hope it can make others happy :D giving stickers to my friends is literally my love language!!! btw i intended this to be platonic but you can read it as romantic idc

mercs x reader who gives them stickers!!

SCOUT

- thinks it's sooo cute and silly that you like giving him stickers! however he would rather die than admit that he likes it, so usually he just accepts the stickers without a word but deep down he's giggling and kicking his feet...also he is very picky with the stickers he gets. if you give him something cutesy and pink like flower stickers he's gonna throw a tantrum. like how dare you!!!! he's the manliest man!! give him a car sticker!!

SOLDIER

- very confused, but soldier always accepted your stickers. he usually just said a loud "THANK YOU!" but then probably forgot about the sticker and lost it somewhere. one day you explained to him that you give him stickers because you like him and care about him and he goes OHHH...ever since then, the stickers hold a huge value to him! he puts them on his stuff, on his clothes...he even lets you decorate his helmet so everyone can see!! he wears your stickers with pride

PYRO

- THEY LOVE IT SO MUCH!! pyro is always visibly happy when you give them a sticker! they hug you and jump up and down in joy no matter what sticker you give them. pyro loves collecting stickers, so usually they return your sticker with one of their own and you guys often exchange :D it is a very fun activity

HEAVY

- thinks it's sweet! he doesn't hide his appreciation, he's just very quiet about it. you can tell it makes him really happy though. you once put a star sticker onto his cheat pocket and it's been there ever since...he is NOT taking it off. if anyone else tries to make fun of him for wearing YOUR stickers, he will punch them. nothing to discuss here

DEMOMAN

- THINKS IT'S ADORABLE! LIKE AWW YOU WANNA GIVE HIM A STICKER? THAT IS SO KIND! one time he was taking a nap so you put a sticker on his forehead lol. he noticed and declared WAR. ever since then you better be wary of where you sleep because if demo is nearby your face will be covered in stickers. yeah, he uses the stickers for a little bit of trolling, but if you come up to him like "hey i wanna give you this heart sticker cause i love you :)" he's gonna start SOBBING. literally wailing and crying cause that is so sweet and he is so honored

ENGINEER

- cute!! he doesn't think too much about it but he appreciates your stickers every time and he always thanks you. doesn't mind what sticker you give him, as long as it's from you, he's happy! engie even lets you decorate some of his stuff, like his tool box and such. if anyone ever points out the stickers and laughs at him he's gonne be like "s'cuse me that is from my little buddy >:("

MEDIC

- aww, he loves your stickers! he would rather not have you put stickers ON him but he doesn't mind if you decorate his lab a little bit. seeing these cute little colorful stickers everywhere actually makes him really happy and cheers him up whenever he has a bad day. because of you, medic subconciously started loving stickers aswell, so he bought some to give to his patients if they behave well (heavy has like 50 stickers already)

SPY

- thinks it's adorable but will NEVER admit it!!! whenever you slap a sticker on him, he either acts annoyed or like he doesn't care, but when you're not looking he peels it off and sticks it into his private diary. at this point his diary is completely covered in your stickers. don't judge him pls...he just likes looking at the stickers ok?? >:( they make him happy and he keeps them cause he loves you

SNIPER

- when you first started giving him stickers, he was super confused and even kinda weirded out. like why are you doing this?? he always accepted but didn't say anything or show any reaction. but over time he gets more used to you giving him cute stickers and he really grows to love them :] he gets this nice warm feeling everytime he looks at his stuff and notices a sticker that you put there when he wasn't looking. it makes him sooo happy. it's like tiny reminders that you care about him!!!

[evil8keta]

mom said its my turn to make the silly tf2 comic

[evil8keta]

im so normal abt these guys

[evil8keta]

Happy 15 years to the three games ever