exy-softie

[exy-softie]

i’ve just finished watching she-ra and arcane and i’m so in love with women rn omg

[exy-softie]

He’s a little terrifying

[exy-softie]

I just KNOW that one of andreil soft moments will be both of them on the couch, maybe a movie playing softly in the background, one of the cats playing with their keys on the floor and the other one sleeping at their feet, it's a saturday morning, neil is resting his head on andrew's chest, andrew is caressing his auburn curls, "and that's how i'd end with your miserable existence, i'd later dispose of your body in the neighbour's garbage to freak him out beacuse he's a bitch" "don't forget to use gloves, also throw the knife through his kitchen window for good measure" "obviously", "i think i'll kill you in a much less original way, probably just shooting you and then i'd carry your body to the woods and bury you there, under some tree" "a willow, tell everybody it's haunted" "of course" sir is trying to eat the fox key ring and rain is slowly starting to fall, "also i would put taylor swift during the ride as a proper goodbye, i don't want you to come and haunt me or something, you'll be the worst poltergeist ever" "i'd have to come back anyway to help you with the cats, there's no way you can take care of them on your own" "i'm sure i'll manage" "you gave them doritos for breakfast" "that was ages ago, asshole, we'd just found them"

[exy-softie]

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 // 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦

𝘙𝘦𝘥, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦, 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯'𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘐'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮

— 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘋𝘦𝘭 𝘙𝘦𝘺 (𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮)

[exy-softie]

aaron and neil both drunk talking about neil’s injuries and how he treated them on the run and aaron is honestly terrorized but amazed by how this shithead is actually alive when he once disinfected a knife wound with toothpaste cause “it was closer than the whiskey”

aaron: so you almost broke your arm once

neil: yeah but i didn’t know if it was bad or not so i grabbed the first thing i had and stuck it with tape to my arm to use it as a splint

aaron: what was it?

neil: my shoe

aaron:

neil: that was a cold week

[exy-softie]

years after graduation neil, kevin and andrew are playing for the same pro team and i can smell the gold that came out of the press duty

reporter: are you glad that you caught kevin’s eye in highschool and that he became your mentor, helping you go pro?

neil, passing his helmet to kevin who was standing right next to him: who the fuck is kevin?

reporter: there’s a rumor that something is going on between you and striker neil josten, can you tell us anything about it?

andrew, making heart eyes at neil from across the room: he means nothing to me

*no one understood why neil had to leave the room because he was laughing too hard*

reporter: can you give us a few words describing your two teammates who you’ve been with since university?

kevin, not even joking: never have i been so disappointed in someone to the point that i specifically requested to be lowered in the casquet by them when i die so they can let me down one last ti-

the interview stopped short when kevin went flying after his two psycho teammates decked him

[exy-softie]

Medicated Andrew is king of the Walmart Game

Go to Walmart, buy the three items that, combined, will freak out the cashier the most

And yeah, the employees mostly don’t give a shit what people buy, and know about the game, to boot. You gotta be convincingly weird to pull it off

Neil is shit at this, he buys garbage bags, duct tape, and a shovel and gets an eye roll

“Yes we might actually need those items someday but if you buy them together you don’t get away with the murder, idiot”

But medicated Andrew is a local legend/cryptid at the Palmetto and Columbia Walmarts

Seasoned Employee A: “Have you rung up the ‘pack of cigarettes’ guy yet?”

Newbie: “Hundreds of people buy cigarettes.”

Seasoned Employee B: “No YOU’LL KNOW when you meet the ‘pack of cigarettes’ guy.”

Seasoned Employee A: “What did he buy from you?”

Seasoned Employee B: “Moon shoes, a plunger, and lube.”

Seasoned Employee A: “Holy fuck. He bought donuts, donut holes, and glue from me.”

Newbie: …that’s someone pranking-

Seasoned Employee B: “Oh God, and his smile. His SMILE. You knew he was going to use them, too. He was going to do it.”

Seasoned Employee A: *shudders* “I know.”

Newbie: ………………….

More employees start chiming in with haunted looks: “a bottle of maple syrup, Coco Puffs, and a wide-mouth funnel”

“A Slip n Slide, Nesquik, and a jumbo pack of boba tea pearls”

“The look on his face”

“The eye contact, God”

“His SMILE”

A few weeks later, Newbie watches a short, manic blond man in all black unceremoniously dump his items onto her conveyer belt at a quarter to midnight. His grin is ghastly in the fluorescent lights, and the way his hair and eyes shine make him look like some kind of ghoul.

There’s a pack of loopy neon silly straws on her conveyer belt, a CuisineArt blender, and…a dozen live goldfish wobble in sloshing water as their inflated bag rolls unevenly down the belt to her scanner.

Newbie is pretty used to people buying everything under the sun by now, Walmart sells everything under the sun, but…

She glances up in a split-second of trepidation.

That shit-eating grin could swallow the goldfish whole.

But it…won’t, will it. Oh god. She glances at the blender she just bagged, then back to the ghoul.

Andrew’s grin ratchets a couple teeth wider. “And a pack of cigarettes.”

[exy-softie]

AFTG characters reading thirst tweets (tweets stolen Ben Barnes and Andrew Garfield’s thirst tweet videos though I obviously changed names and some other stuff) (no I didn’t include all of the characters but I might do more with other characters for my own entertainment)

This is for my own amusement and not to be taken seriously

“I would let Jean Moreau spit in my mouth and I would use it as mouth wash”

Jean: not to kink shame but get help

“Jeremy Knox are you free February 14th because I am free February 14th and I would like to hang out with you on February 14th when I am free so please let me know if you’re free to hang out February 14th because I would like to hang out on February 14th when I am free.”

Jeremy: aw that was really wholesome

Alvarez: don’t worry they get worse

Jeremy: shit. Anyway I am not free on February 14th for reasons I will not disclose in a buzzfeed video

“Andrew Minyard making everyone have dirty thoughts every time some sports magazine posts a picture of him. He could beat the shit out of me and I’d say thank you.”

Andrew: *glances at crew, face blank*

Wymack: *loud sigh in the background*

“Can we talk about how gorgeous Kevin Day is for a sec? Like that man is fucking beautiful. I’d let him eat crackers in bed.”

Kevin: … why would I eat in bed?

“I can’t believe Allison Reynolds invented being sexy.”

Allison: well you should

“Matthew Boyd is thicc and woke”

Matt: thank you???

“If Aaron Minyard ever kills me DO NOT PROSECUTE HIM because he caught ME slipping that is on ME”

Aaron: people on the internet need more therapy than I do. And a better understanding of the legal system.

“Yes, the rumors are true. I am a slut for Danielle Wilds.”

Matt: *in the background* SAME

Dan: thank you for the compliment? I mean we don’t slut shame in this house

“95% of the reason I love Exy is because of Neil Josten’s ass in those shorts.”

Neil: *opens mouth to go on a rant about all the other reasons they should love exy*

“I want Laila Dermott to smash a laptop on my tits.”

Laila: *wheezing, slides out of chair to the floor* BOUNDARIES. Treat your tits better, please.

[exy-softie]

neil “i want to drive away with you, i want your complications too, i want your deary mondays” josten

andrew “loving him is like driving a new maserati down a dead-end street” minyard

[exy-softie]

AFTG Headcanon

Andrew benches a LOT. This is canon. He loves lifting and his arms, chest, and shoulders are JACKED. However, he HATES abs. He has upper abs as a result of benching, but he will never be caught dead doing crunches (they are even borderline triggering).

So I present to you: jacked upper body Andrew with soft tummy <3

[exy-softie]

i can’t get the image of andrew calling neil from the kitchen and neil appearing with bed hair wearing just an oversized sweater and carrying king like a baby out of my head

“487%”

“wha-”

[exy-softie]

aftg headcannon #i dont know

so because i'm bored

i'm taking the foxes on a road trip in australia

they stop at every. single. fucking. cow pasture.

(andrew makes them)

neil thinks cows are werid

everyone else takes a gazillion photos of every cow

nicky tries to ride on one

stopping to piss in the bushes every 40 minutes

singing.

not even any good songs

all shitty things with shitty lyrics that everyone's heard a trillion times

matt makes them listen to kidz bop songs

they live and breathe on coffee

andrew and aaron arent allowed to drive

neil drives into a roadside

nicky forgets to use the handbrake on a hill

a kangaroo jumps on top of the car while matt drives

after that he's too afraid to drive again

a koala is sitting in the middle of the road while renee is driving

everyone gets out and says hi

they find the dead animals on the roads absolutely horrifying

(i mean they are pretty horrifying)

dan nearly runs over a wombat

they almost get crushed by an emu while kevin drives

wymack and abby sleep the entire time

movies!

high school musical, the lion king, Aladdin, Cinderella, Encanto, The hunger games, mean girls, legally blonde you name it.

so much singing.

andrew and aaron sing bop to the top together and it is amazing

they are in love with rambo (the big merino) ((it's a giant stone ram))

they also love larry (a giant lobster)

that's the end

i cant think of anything else

my brain is broken

i just needed to create words

[exy-softie]

WIPWednesday!! Here’s some from my Bloody Nathaniel WIP

~~

Andrew watched as blood seeped from the walls, coating the stone and pooling in the ground below. Skeletal hands reached up from the darkened dirt, clawing and breaking in their attempts to free themselves. There was a low wail that was steadily getting louder, the sound pitching in the back of his skull.

Letting out a low whistle at the display, Andrew raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Is this supposed to be scary?”

Immediately everything disappeared, the basement bare once more. Shrugging, Andrew sheathed his weapon and climbed the old wooden stairs in the corner. There was no resistance as he opened the door at the top, only the squeak of the rusty hinges. Stepping out of the dark and damp space, Andrew found himself in a kitchen. Sunlight filtered in through the window through the grime in uneven patches, casting the room in yellows and greys.

He was only three steps in when every cupboard door started slamming open and closed, rattling and echoing through the small space. Wincing at the onslaught of noise, Andrew glared at the empty room. He could hear Aaron’s voice in his head, detailing the differences between ghosts and poltergeists and failing to classify whatever this was. He already knew his brother would complain about staying behind, and throw himself into research to try and solve this puzzle. For Andrew though, it didn’t matter.

“If you’re done,” he said to the slamming cupboards, “I’m getting tired of this tantrum.”

There was the final creak of a far door closing, and then it was finally quiet. Slowly, finally, the ghost stepped out into view, slipping into existence like he was walking through a door.

And Andrew realized he was absolutely fucked.

Nathaniel was all deadly glares and sharp anger, his startling blue eyes cold as he stared at Andrew from across the room. Dark auburn hair framed his face and brushed his chin, shifting as if in an invisible current. His clothes were streaked with scarlet, blood dripping onto the floor below him. He was otherworldly in a way Andrew wasn’t prepared for, and he felt his mouth go dry as Nathaniel’s head cocked to the side, exposing the column of his throat.

“Go away,” he said, his voice deeper than Andrew thought it would have been, a little rough around the edges.

Blinking up from where he had been staring at the way Nathaniel’s pants clung to his thighs, Andrew forced himself to remain neutral. He had a job to do. Meeting Nathaniel’s glare easily, Andrew shrugged. “Not until we’re finished.”

If it was possible, Nathaniel’s eyes grew colder. “This is my house and I don’t want you here. Get. Out.”

“You’re dead,” Andrew said, figuring it was best to just get it out in the open.

“You think I don’t know that?” Nathaniel scoffed, and Andrew felt his expression twitch in his surprise.

“Most ghosts don’t,” Andrew said.

Nathaniel’s smile was something deadly, a cutting line across his face. “I’m not most ghosts.”

[exy-softie]

pipe dream 🚬

[exy-softie]

how many times do you think andrew used a game as foreplay to turn neil on? making those infuriating blocks his junkie loves, playing with everything he gots, and maybe why not winking once or twice at him when they get close enough (or just staring, if that’s too ooc). 

the worst part is that they are not even on the same team yet.

andrew blocks neil’s shots and this boy wil just get frustrated but also fuck

[exy-softie]

As soon as I read this I just started picturing Wymack as some kind of foster father and all of the Foxes as his children. 

Neil, a two-year-old who was orphaned when his mafia boss father was killed, pulls on Wymack’s pant leg and looks up at him with big blue eyes and tells him: “I can walk.” 

Wymack: Proud of you … but I didn’t ask

2-year-old Neil: *bursts into hysterical tears*

Abby: Goddammit David, you just couldn’t help yourself could you?

4-year-old Matt: *also bursts into tears at the sight of his favorite sibling crying*

4-year-old Andrew: *pulls a plastic knife out of sleeve*

Wymack: That’s it. We’re sending these little fuckers back to the orphanage.

[exy-softie]

Some Kateaaron headcanons:

Aaron having a bad day, stressed about exams and exhausted from lack of sleep and Katelyn, equally tired and stressed, plants a kiss on the top of his head when she gets up to refuel their coffees, and everything seems a little bit better 🥺😭

Katelyn getting a cold and Aaron taking care of her, making her tea and texting Nicky to ask for his chicken noodle soup recipe that he used to make for the twins when they were sick 🤧

Aaron quietly telling Katelyn about the time Andrew locked him in a bathroom to detox, and how it was one of the worst experiences of his life but also one of the best things that could have ever happened to him

Katelyn making sure to keep her nails short, because Tilda always wore hers long and used them like weapons. Tilda dug them in so hard once that Aaron still has tiny scars on his arm.

Katelyn being careful to never pull his hair, careful not to sneak up on him unannounced or back him into a corner. To never move too quickly when reaching for his face, so that he doesn't mistake it for an incoming slap

Katelyn telling Aaron about how her mom died from cancer when she was nine, how it made her want to become a doctor. How she misses her mom every day. Aaron holding her while she cries and understanding perfectly, because even though Tilda was a horrible mom, he misses her too.

Katelyn standing by Aaron during the trial because she loves him but also because she has a little sister, and if anyone tried to do to Emily what Drake had done to Andrew, Katelyn would kill them with no hesitation.

Katelyn loving how strong Aaron is bc he can give her piggyback rides between classes with no issue. Aaron deciding he likes that Katelyn is taller than him because it makes being the little spoon even better.

The first time Katelyn successfully makes Aaron laugh, like full-on belly laugh, she feels like she's just won a marathon. She is absolutely smug about it too. She's so proud of herself that she managed to make her stoic, stone-faced boyfriend actually laugh.