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I think it's really funny that reading the discworld witch books (at least the ones that are Weatherwax+Ogg+Magrat), Granny immediately seems like the scariest one by far. She seems like a terrifying force of nature accompanied by a jovial old grandma and an insecure young woman. But as the series progress, the times when Granny holds back and Nanny and Magrat jovially engage in brutal physical violence add up. Now I'm not saying you *shouldn't* be scared of Granny, I'm just saying that she has a rather strong conscience in her way, whereas Magrat and Nanny will both sucker punch you, kick you between the legs and happily step over your groaning body. Granny is to be feared, but Nanny doesn't fight fair and Magrat will kill a motherfucker. Terry Pratchett really knew how to write female characters.

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We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

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sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

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The rain was coming down like a giant was pissing on the city.

It was times like this that I wished I was human. Detectives love rain. They want the stuff to wash them away with the scum of the street.

I can’t stand water. Never touched the stuff.

My name is Ginger. Once upon a time I used to be the Gingerbread Man. Now I’m a private dick and I drink enough to be a rum cake.

It’s a hard job if you aren’t a tough cookie. I have all the requirements. I’m sugar and spice and a whole heaping of trouble.

I also got an umbrella I borrowed from the Wicked Witch of the West after a case last month. It helps on days like this.

The city was still sleeping like Snow White when I made my way to the crime scene. I turned into an alley and stepped into the remains of a pillow fight from hell. White feathers were scattered across the alley like a soggy snowfall. Blood mixed with rain and trickled down the cobblestones.

Gretel gave me a nod when I walked up. Gretel’s good people. She’s the only person I know who won’t try to eat me. “Thought you might want to see this, Ginger.”

“You’ve been stuffing pillows tonight, Gretel? It looks like Christmas in here.”

Gretel made a face and pointed a thumb to a lump under a tarp. “Then you just missed the Christmas dinner,” she said.

I took a look. There wasn’t much to see besides a greasy little pile of what you’d get if you ate a whole rotisserie chicken down to the bones.

The vic was Chicken Little. I knew the name. Little was a local nut who started a doomsday cult in the neighbourhood. I thought she’d be the kind of dame who’d get into trouble someday.

This wasn’t what I had in mind. Who’d want to whack a pamphlet thumper who thought the world was going to end anyways?

I picked up a rib. There were tiny scrapes scored across it in a line, like she’d been using it to count the days to oblivion.

I stared. “These are teeth marks, Gretel.”

I looked up. Gretel looked sick. That’s when I knew for sure.

“These are fox teeth, Gretel,” I said. “There’s a fox in the city.”

“Ginger, I think you should leave town.”

I flicked the rib back down into the pile of bones and pulled a stub of a candy cane cigar out of my trench coat pocket. “My brother has a house out in the country,” Gretel was saying. “He hates eating gingerbread as much as me. You’d be safe out there for a few days until we can track this fox down.”

I patted down my pockets for a light. Gretel took pity on me and knelt into the shade of the umbrella to light a match.

I puffed a few clouds of peppermint smoke. For a second it really was like Christmas in that alleyway.

I don’t care much for Christmas. Typically people look at me and think of dessert.

“Gretel, you’re good people,” I said. I didn’t realize that I hadn’t said it before. It felt like it had to be said. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Jesus Christ, Ginger, you know how your story ends.”

“Yeah, well. We're all trying to run, run, run as fast as we can from who you are.” I took one last drag and turned out of the alley towards the soggy city. For once, I wished the rain could wash me away. “But eventually it catches up to us.”

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pirating movies by seeing them in tumblr gifs and basing my own story around them

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Google docs is getting out of hand

it changed "rapture" to "raptors" like three times

"rapture overcame him" -> "raptors overcame him"

honestly? probably makes for a better story

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i FUCKING love lesbians

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Okay you guys.

IF YOU PRIMARILY DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH reply with what you mentally call it, if you have a nickname for it or something

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@bataddictedloony If you're referring to this--

(photo source)

--that's a storm door! (At least that's what we call it in my area; from what I'm reading off a quick internet search it might vary by region, but it's probably the most common name.) They are indeed very common, though they're definitely not on every building. A lot of them are glass, and many newer versions have swappable panels, so they can be switched between glass and screen depending on the time of year. Historical homes especially benefit, as this article from the Wisconsin Historical Society explains, but they're useful for lots of reasons.

- In older homes with less energy-efficient front doors, a glass storm door creates an air pocket between it and front door, providing extra insulation. It's good for newer homes too, just not quite as important.

- Storm doors protect the front door from the weather (again, super useful in older/historical homes), and are also VERY USEFUL if you get snow that drifts up against your door, because at least then you have half a chance of avoiding it spilling into your house. (Plus they open outward, so it'll push the snow away if it's light enough.) They keep the rain out too. Unfortunately you've got to be careful with them on windy days, because heavy winds WILL make it hard to close and possibly damage it.

(If you live in areas prone to tornadoes, you may also be familiar with leaving the front door open and watching the storm through the storm door when it gets rainy. Or, if you're cautious like me, trying to convince someone outside to come the fuck inside because there's a tornado warning out.)

- In my experience a lot of storm doors are set up so that they close behind you more or less automatically (not a sensor system; just how the hinges are set up). This is infuriating when you're trying to get a large package inside but very useful if you have people (read: small children) who don't remember to close the door behind them.

- They add a bit of extra security. Not, like, a lot, but if you've got a random stranger coming up to your door you can open the front door, keep the storm door locked, and talk to them through the glass/screen. Which is especially nice when it's a solicitor who has already demonstrated that they don't respect you because they didn't fuck off when they saw the "no solicitors" sign in the door. (See: asshole who showed up a couple weeks ago and didn't leave until my mother gave him the death glare and aggressively tapped the sign taped to the storm door, which is highly unusual for her.)

- Also very useful on Halloween, since you can leave the inner door open to watch for trick-or-treaters.

- Free TV for pets.

- And yes, when it's a screen door, they're good for letting in fresh air on nice days, especially in the spring and autumn. We don't leave our front door open, but leaving the back door open even just a crack on a cool night can make a big difference in the summer, without letting a million mosquitoes in.

I'm not entirely sure what you meant by the last tag; if the implication is that it's dangerous to leave the door open, as I think it may be, then there's a lot more going on there. I'm guessing you meant it in a joking way, which I 100% get, but I figured I'd point out a couple details anyway, because frankly as a US American this does bug me.

First, less than half of gun deaths are due to murder; in 2023, 58% of gun deaths were suicides. (See the Pew Research Center article "What the data says about gun deaths in the U.S.") This isn't to say that homicide via guns isn't a huge issue--it absolutely is--but I feel it's worth noting, since you'll often see statistics on gun violence without that clarification.

Gun violence also varies by region, as does gun ownership; you'll see it most often in the rural South (see above PRC article), although a lot of media coverage focuses on city violence. But even in the case of urban gun violence, as far as I know, you're going to see it largely in low-income neighborhoods, where many people may not have access to quality air conditioning--if they have it at all--and so I would think that even in areas prone to gun violence, people may still have to leave their doors open to beat the heat. That's entirely conjecture on my part, mind you, so I could be totally wrong!

On the whole, though, while gun violence is undoubtedly a major problem here, it's all relative. Most folks don't live in areas where it's enough of an issue to worry. (...honestly the media may have stirred up excessive fear in some demographics, and we see a concerning amount of people buying guns because they feel they need to protect themselves when it really just causes more problems.)

Guns aside, the USA is basically fifty countries plus territories in a trench coat, and we have a gigantic amount of variety in climate, so the reasoning for storm doors is gonna vary pretty heavily from place to place anyway. I'd guess you'd see a lot more screen doors in the South, although they may use glass to insulate against heat rather than cold. Also, some buildings in hurricane-prone areas have storm shutters and additional reinforcement. Meanwhile, up in northern areas, I'd think there would be more focus on insulation and protection from winter weather.

Anyway yeah. From what I'm reading this isn't necessarily an American-only thing, so it probably depends on the area of Europe and the like too. But I gotta say: this is an interesting cultural difference to me. I have no idea how y'all live without window screens, because good gods, I would never open a window without one. I do not want bugs, birds, bats, or any other critter in my home, both for my sake and theirs.

I continue to run into people that are confused as to why Americans have screens on our windows and it’s really quite simple.

Bugs

Diseases carried by bugs

Other assorted wildlife such as dogs and teenagers

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Juvenile Cooper’s hawk… or maybe a juvenile Redtailed hawk?

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I continue to run into people that are confused as to why Americans have screens on our windows and it’s really quite simple.

Bugs

Diseases carried by bugs

Other assorted wildlife such as dogs and teenagers

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i was at an event last night in california and i went to the bar to order wine bc wine was like, a thing, and i looked at the menu and saw i was completely out of my depth bc idk any wine names, so i turned to my right and there was a man in a gorgeous suit standing at the bar beside me and i said “do you know anything about wine?” and he said “a little, yes!” i told him i liked white and dry wines and asked if he’d order for me. he asked the server for two glasses and had one poured for each of us and then he clinked his glass on mine but he didn’t take a sip, he just watched me taste mine and then he asked what i thought and i said “it’s pretty good, but like i said, i wouldn’t know.” he laughed and told me to have a good time & i walked away. fifteen minutes later i found out he’s the winemaker.

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Saint Peter’s Square, Vatican City.