failuregivesyouwings

[failuregivesyouwings]

@catsmusiclife 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[failuregivesyouwings]

@catsmusiclife 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[failuregivesyouwings]

“and the universe said…”

[failuregivesyouwings]

ok do you guys remember those Capri Sun “RESPECT THE POUCH, RESPECT IT!” ads where children would deface a Capri Sun pouch in some way and then suffer some karmic punishment thematically connected to the way they disrespected pouch then there were Airheads commercials where eating an airhead would turn your head into a balloon and there were Fruit Gusher ads similar to that except your head turned into an enormous piece of fruit what happened where for this brief period of time (in america at least) it was decided the best way to get kids to buy fruit themed junk food was to imply there was some kind of chaotic evil force that would let you sip its sweet nectar and feast on its fruit, but only if you were willing to sacrifice your state of existence and obey the artificially flavored outer gods   

[failuregivesyouwings]

Before the day of censoring

[failuregivesyouwings]

I Regret Watching Legend of Korra

It’s a great show, really. But my boyfriend is very gassy, and now that he’s met the character Meelo, he thinks that it’s “okay” to fart as long as he announces “I’M AN AIRBENDER” beforehand. Please send help.

[failuregivesyouwings]

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

[failuregivesyouwings]

Petition for there to be a Wall-E 2 in honor of Opportunity

[failuregivesyouwings]

I’m a lucky, lucky girl

[failuregivesyouwings]

My Boyfriend Thinks He’s A Smooth Talker...

...or just romantic with words I guess. The other day I was hugging and he goes “You’re my dream-sicle.” Of course I thought I misheard him and asked him to repeat that, and again, I was his dream-sicle. He saw I was confused and he goes “well cuz you’re like a dream come true.... and... um... I thought it would be cuter to combine it with popsicle...” and I was like okay I guess that was cute good job babe, BUT THEN HE THINKS OF SOMETHING BETTER AND WITH SO MUCH EXCITEMENT HE GOES “Nonono!! You know how a popsicle is like super sweet and yummy and sugary but then when it all melts away there’s that stick?? That stick is our love!!! Because even when that sweet outside is gone, our love will still live on and people will be mad about it because they don’t like seeing those popsicle-stick-loves everywhere but we’ll be like ‘haha our love can’t even decompose so you’re stuck looking at our love for LIFE BITCH’. Hallmark will pay me big bucks for that one babe!!” and he looked so proud of himself for coming up with that so safe to say that Hallmark better back the fuck up cuz this man is MINE

[failuregivesyouwings]

Y DO PPL GOTTA BE LIKE THIS ლ(ಥДಥ ლ)

[failuregivesyouwings]

I feel personally attacked