fairerhousethanprose

[fairerhousethanprose]

Inferno - Louise Gluck

Why did you move away? I walked out of the fire alive; how can that be? How much was lost? Nothing was lost: it was all destroyed. Destruction is the result of action. Was there a real fire? I remember going back into the house twenty years ago, trying to save what we could. Porcelain and so on. The smell of smoke on everything. In my dream, I built a funeral pyre. For myself, you understand. I thought I had suffered enough. I thought this was the end of my body: fire seemed the right end for hunger; they were the same thing. And yet you didn’t die? It was a dream; I thought I was going home. I remember telling myself it wouldn’t work; I remember thinking my soul was too stubborn to die. I thought soul was the same as consciousness– probably everyone thinks that. Why did you move away? I woke up in another world. As simple as that. Why did you move away? The world changed. I walked out of the fire into a different world–maybe the world of the dead, for all I know. Not the end of need but need raised to the highest power.

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This moment is all I believe in, October and the dry leaves blowing where I'm heading, a storm rushing to presage me. At the crucial junctures someone will already know my name. The earth will again unfold its heart of sulfur, and I will be born into the recurring terror, inescapable being, to which I eternally return. May these small tokens prove that I tried my best, though human cruelty made no sense to me, though love was inexplicable, more phantom than reality. If forgiveness be true, I want to be annihilated completely, I want reciprocal forgetting, I want the angels not to recognize me. - Eric Gamalinda (from Labyrinth)

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Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941), poem 85 from “The Gardener”, 1914 Translated by the author from the original Bengali. New York: The Macmillan Company.

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Eddie 'Dancing Queen' Diaz 🕺

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“The Sentence” - Anna Akhmatova And the stone word fell On my still-living breast. Never mind, I was ready. I will manage somehow. Today I have so much to do: I must kill memory once and for all, I must turn my soul to stone, I must learn to live again— Unless…Summer’s ardent rustling Is like a festival outside my window. For a long time I’ve foreseen this Brilliant day, deserted house.

[fairerhousethanprose]

“ The Hidden Messages ”

2023.12.12

Process

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Catastrophe is next to Godliness - Franny Choi Lord, I confess I want the clarity of catastrophe but not the catastrophe. Like everyone else, I want a storm I can dance in. I want an excuse to change my life. The day A. died, the sun was brighter than any sun. I answered the phone, and a channel opened between my stupid head and heaven, or what was left of it. The blankness stared back; and I made sound after sound with my blood-wet gullet. O unsayable—O tender and divine unsayable, I knew you then: you line straight to the planet’s calamitous core; you moment moment moment; you intimate abyss I called sister for a good reason. When the Bad Thing happened, I saw every blade. And every year I find out what they’ve done to us, I shed another skin. I get closer to open air; true north. Lord, if I say Bless the cold water you throw on my face, does that make me a costume party. Am I greedy for comfort if I ask you not to kill my friends; if I beg you to press your heel against my throat—not enough to ruin me, but just so—just so I can almost see your face—

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You will live without misfortune, You will govern, you will judge. With your quiet partner You will raise your sons. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And for us, descending into the vale, The altars burn, And our voices soar To God’s very throne.

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Mile's in South Korea today for a Bvlgari event. Here's a vid where he talks about Shine, the rom com starring him and Apo (of course he would find a way to mention Apo even when they're apart), being the main project for this entire year, but he'll also be working for BOC music, so there will be a solo concert for him, as well as another musical project.

And suddenly, Mile gets to have his chest more exposed again, tantalizing Apo from afar I guess. ^u^ Also, suddenly Apo was up and posting to his IG stories past midnight (Thailand time), an hour he's usually inactive at... waiting to speak to Mile?

Oh, and Mile possibly flew using Apo's red suitcase. Here are the suitcases Mile and the BOC crew were carrying, and one of many pics showing Apo traveling with a red one, they're not the same volume, but they look to me like they're from the same series.

Speaking of tantalizing Apo, Mile usually posts a few food, drink and dessert pics, like this one:

But the amount of them during this trip, when Apo isn't with him, skyrocketed to the degree that on top of posting pics, he made a video out of them, and shared it as a post, not just a story, to his personal account.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mile Phakphum (@flowwithmp)

And you know what? All that tantalizing worked! Apo commented on Mile's Bvlgari vid, "Let me go, tooooooo."

Oh, and when we know that they use the symbolism of sun as Apo and moon as Mile, here's what Apo posted while Mile's away... it's the moon in the sky, the sun is setting, but it's not gone yet, so this is a pic in which they both are together, even if not seen together.

Lastly, just because, this is related to the recently released interviewed with Mileapo, which now also has English subs. Remember how at Woody's, Mile promised before the whole world that no matter what, Apo will always have him?

Well, in this recent interview, Apo confirmed that yep, he does.

This post is dedicated to mishmishyouisfine, thank you for being kind to me! <3

(click for all of my past Mileapo/Kinnporsche/Man Suang posts)

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DO NOT DO THIS!!!

If a website has a paywall, like New York Times, DO NOT use the ctrl+A shortcut then the ctrl+c shortcut as fast as you can because then you may accidentally copy the entire article before the paywall comes up. And definitely don't do ctrl+v into the next google doc or whatever you open because then you will accidentally paste the entire article into a google doc or something!!!! I repeat DO NOT do this because it is piracy which is absolutely totally wrong!!!

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I would probably do as i've said. Tell him. touch him, hug him as it was the last time we were gonna see eachother and thank him for every moment we had met, and for being a teacher to help me learn and grow. and thank him for being by my side, working, something like that.

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the lost women i need to know their names those women i would have walked with jauntily the way men go in groups swinging their arms, and the ones those sweating women whom i would have joined after a hard game to chew the fat what would we have called each other laughing joking into our beer? where are my gangs, my teams, my mislaid sisters? all the women who could have known me, where in the world are their names? by Lucille Clifton.

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The way they smile at each other 🥹

Mansuang (2023)

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Hope, you know by now, is not a thing you feel but something you do, and this is your job. It’s what you do; it’s what needs to be done.

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MAN SUANG (2023) — Exclusive Teaser for Cannes Film Festival 2023 (x)