fairyjeff

[fairyjeff]

Is the character Tinkerbell offensive?

Hey. Tinkerbell is a tough fuckin’ fairy, I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit. Leave tinkerbell alone. I come back from visiting my mom and this is the first fuckin’ thing I see? 

Horseshit. 

[fairyjeff]

Semi-Hiatus -> June 19

Hey ya’ll! Jeff is going to be v!briefly on a semi-hiatus until June 19th. I’m going to round off some paras on him, and be here and there when needed, and then he’ll come back kicking for Season 2! <3  TY here is a picture of a Mastiff.

[fairyjeff]

@letsbenditlikebennettt replied to your post “[pm] I just thought of a really random question that I'm legit shook I...”

[pm] Man, I'm kinda bummed for you. Flying sounds fun. Then again, someone might have an actual heart attack if they saw a giant man flying through the sky.

[pm] I can fuckin hover, technically, that usually goes worse than flying. 

[fairyjeff]

[pm] I just thought of a really random question that I'm legit shook I didn't ask you when we first met... can you FLY?!

[pm] Good fucking question. I got these huge ass wings so you’d thing I’d be able to fucking fly, and yet I fuckin’ don’t.

I always end up in a fucking dumpster whenever I fucking try!

@letsbenditlikebennett

[fairyjeff]

deathduty‌:

Only the ones that look like old men. 

[pm] …..Jeff, sometimes I think that our conversations take such an…unriveting turn. 

Oh, most definitely. I’ve screamed more this year than I have any other.

SHE UNBLOCKED ME! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 COME OVER AND LET’S CELEBRATE

Oh, wait. I’m sorry. Why do you need to do that? They’re not easy, but the witches in this town are kind. 

All of them :/

[pm] I don’t understand what that means. Do you want me to lift things with you?

I... don’t know what that means, either.

Oh! She unblocked me too, but if she calls me a clown again, I’m gunna fuckin’ call her a coroner I swear to fuckin God.

Someone broke Regan’s. She said they ripped it right off her fuckin’ neck. Said I didn’t have to get her a new one, but I don’t believe her. 

[fairyjeff]

whatsin-yourhead‌:

Wait, really? Wait– were you Speedy Jeff? Famous for you mules? 

Yeah! I agree. I mean, I don’t go to bars much anymore, but I always felt that way, too.

Oh wait, what the fuck! Remmy! With the brown hair! Long name, too! No shit??

You don’t? You should come down to Dell’s! I promised you free fuckin drunks way back when!

[fairyjeff]

whatsin-yourhead‌:

Uhh, it was called like Bottom Of the Road, I think? Maybe Hill? It was a while ago. Yeah, they hated us at Fitzpatrick’s. Called us bootlickers. Which, like, I guess is fair. Not a lot of people like the military around there.

No shit? That was my bar! Were you there when I was? I’m Jeff! Wait you know my name already But hey, bars are about drinking and making peace, I’m not about to let some fucking people start shit that doesn’t belong there.

[fairyjeff]

kadavernagh‌:

Someone grabbed it off my neck. Why does it matter? Broken is broken.

What the fuck? That’s fucking rude. It doesn’t, I was just fuckin asking. But I can probably get you another.

[fairyjeff]

deathduty‌:

No, she’s a dog.

[pm] Thank you. I do lift things on occasion. 

There does seem to be a large number of them in this town. I wonder why that is…this is hardly the place with abundant french influence either…and yet, so many french people. So many mimes. What is it?

I want her to unblock me. That’s it. I want to talk to her again. I don’t know what I’d say, but I want to.

Dogs are wonderful :/ 

[pm] Yeah? Good for you!

Who fuckin’ knows. The entire place is probably fucking cursed or something. 

I know, De. I’m sorry. On a related note, I maybe need to get my hands on another glamour necklace.

[fairyjeff]

detectivedreameater‌:

Cute. You’ve got quite the attitude on you. How many times do you think you can say fuck in one sentence?

Why do so many people fuckin’ ask me that Probably depends on how long the fuckin’ sentence is.

[fairyjeff]

kadavernagh‌:

It broke. Obviously.

No shit. I meant how.

[fairyjeff]

detectivedreameater‌:

What, only on Tuesdays? I’m bold, fucking, and a bold fucking adult. 

On days that end with y. Are you? Good for fucking you. 

[fairyjeff]

A gift in silver wrapping was left at Dell’s Tavern just for Jeff. Inside the crate are 6 of the beers that won the 2019 World Beers Taste award. It comes with a note

My hand slipped while doing online shopping. For enjoying after work sometime. Love Lydia

[fairyjeff]

detectivedreameater‌:

Are you a bold fucking adult too?

Depends on the day, I guess. Why? Are you a bold fucking adult?

[fairyjeff]

whatsin-yourhead‌:

Free ice cream? Oh, man, that does sound like a good deal. I never got free ice cream, but I was posted in Boston for a while and we would sometimes get free drinks from this one bar. It was great.

Oh yeah? What bar? I bet it wasn’t damn fucking Fitzpatricks bar in South Boston. Fuckin’ assholes there, they’d rather die than give out a free beer once in a while.

[fairyjeff]

@detectivedreameater replied to your post: At what age did you have your first crush? Who was...

Asking a girl out at 8 is bold.

I was a bold fucking kid.

[fairyjeff]

@whatsin-yourhead replied to your post “At what age did you have your first crush? Who was it?”

That's so cute, though.

My buddy at my old job in Boston never let me fuckin’ forget it. Yvette, if you’re reading this, I miss the fucking free ice cream.