fakesuepisodes

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Thanks Diamond

Steven suggests hosting another giant feast for his friends and family to help welcome Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond to Earth. There’s just one catch: we’re all out of stuffing! Garnet asks the Diamonds to go to the grocery store, saying the trip will help them learn more about human relations. However, trouble quickly arises when Vidalia buys the last box of instant stuffing mix, leaving the Diamonds to revert back to their more despotic tendencies as they take over the town and demand tribute from its citizens in the form of stuffing.

While everyone argues over whether to fight back against the Diamonds or just move to a new town where mashed potatoes are the more valued side dish, Steven asks Garnet why she didn’t foresee any of this happening. Garnet reveals to Steven that she did, but that the idea of the enormous Diamonds attempting to shop in a grocery store was too funny to pass up.

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So it’s come to this... the time has come for Fake Steven Universe Episodes to head into the welcoming arms of Hiatus.

I had no expectation of FSUE lasting as long as it has when it started, so reaching 1,000 "episodes” with hundreds of submissions and nearly 18,000 followers is really special. This isn’t the end of this blog, but we will be taking an extended break. The submissions page is still open and we’ll be dropping in every now and then with new posts, but this seems like a good time to wrap up the daily schedule after literally posting an episode synopsis a day for nearly three years. Thank you!

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Cease and Desist

Steven and the Gems stumble upon a TubeTube video of a foreign cartoon that rips off the likenesses of the Crystal Gems. After looking into the matter even more, Pearl discovers that the Heavenly Jewels knockoff series has become so popular overseas that it now has its own theme park. However, when the gang sets out to confront the people responsible and shut the park down, it’s the Crystal Gems themselves who are regarded by the locals as the knockoffs.

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A Total Nobody

Connie calls Steven to tell him about seeing Blue Pearl at the grocery store, and the Crystal Gems scramble into action. But when they confront Blue Pearl, wearing an ill-fitting sweater and trying to figure out the difference between ketchup and catsup, she reveals that she has been sent to Earth as part of a witness protection program after watching Blue Zircon get poofed by Yellow DIamond. Can the Crystal Gems help “Pearl Pearlson” fit in on Earth... and find a coupon on ketchup?

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Strike Force

After an especially loud argument between Amethyst and Pearl, Garnet decides she has had enough and goes on strike from the Crystal Gems. Steven attempts to negotiate an end to the crisis, which only deepens when Garnet takes Peridot to go live at the lighthouse. Can Pearl and Amethyst work out their differences and get Garnet and Peridot back on the team?

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Back and Blue

Lapis makes an unexpected return to the Crystal Gems, but it doesn’t take long for Steven and Peridot to suspect something is amiss when she hates the newest episode of Camp Pining Hearts and throws out all the “garbage” meep-morps. Can Steven and Peridot find out what happened to the real Lapis after discovering she’s been replaced by Holly Blue Agate in a wig and dress?

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Idol Hands

Connie wins at the Delmarva regional geography bee and is awarded with a vacation to a tropical country. But while Connie, Steven and the Crystal Gems are exploring in the rain forest, they happen upon a forgotten tribe of humans who regard the Gems as ancient gods. While Garnet and Amethyst try to convince the tribe of their true nature, Pearl comes to enjoy being worshipped but without realizing that her new followers intend to keep her there forever, no matter what.

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Diamond Doom

After being left in charge of Blue Diamond’s facilities for a week, Blue Pearl accidentally destroys one of her Diamond’s mementos of Pink Diamond. Fearing that she’ll be shattered immediately after Blue Diamond’s return, and with Yellow Pearl only interested in taunting her, Blue Pearl reaches out to Lars and the Off Colors for a day of fun in what she thinks is her last 24 hours of existence. Will Blue Pearl get to do everything she wants to do? And how will she react when she finds out that she only destroyed a lamp that Blue Diamond never really liked anyway?

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A Batch Most Foul

Having tweaked the Together Breakfast recipe to be a little more Breakfast, both Amethyst and Steven come down with an unexpected side effect: a breath so foul, the residents of Beach City end up in hiding. Looking for answers, they invite Peridot to help find a remedy for such a malodorous side effect for both of them. But of course, could something in the Together Breakfast recipe be linked to a bad batch? And will Peridot find the miracle remedy before Pearl and Garnet arrive home?

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Wrestle Fest

After getting surprised with tickets from Greg, Steven and Amethyst are in Empire City for Wrestle Fest, the biggest spectacle in professional wrestling. After taking in seven hours of wrestling action, the fans are disappointed to learn that the main event will have to be canceled on account of one of the wrestlers getting food poisoning. Can Steven convince Amethyst to bring the Purple Puma out of retirement and help save the show?

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Dondai Darko

While practicing driving with Greg, Steven has visions of Cookie Cat giving an outdated warning about the Cluster, leading him to crash into the Temple. Seeking answers so Greg can get the perpetrator’s insurance info, the Gems learn not only that Cookie Cat was a real interstellar refugee from an alternate post-Cluster future, but that Steven and the Stevens are somehow involved.

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Extra Thick!

Garnet and the reformed Bismuth and Jasper have a friendly competition to determine once and for all who is the strongest Gem around. But when Pearl becomes the referee for the arm wrestling competition, things get a bit much for her to handle. Meanwhile, Amethyst buys an expensive set of swords after watching a late-night infomercial and has difficulty returning them after discovering she has no need for them.

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Go Planet!

The Crystal Gems face their greatest challenge yet when Mayor Nanefua sells the deed to the beach to an industrialist named Hoggish Greedily. But, Steven recognizes him as an eco-villain who loves to decimate the environment. To make matters worse Greedily has teemed up with Yellow and Blue Diamond and is using Homeworld technology with the goal to destroy the Crystal Temple and pollute the ocean. Not only that but he has used that said technology to capture a team of young heroes also defending the Earth called The Planeteers. Now Gaia, Spirit of The Earth, must give their magic rings to the Crystal Gems and make them temporary Planeteers to stop Greedily and save the real Planeteers. With the help of a environment saving hero named Captain Planet can they stop Greedily’s pollution solution and save the Temple?

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Bus Madness

Connie invites Steven to tag along on her school’s field trip to the historic home of a famous poet. However, the long drive and Steven’s attempts to fit in with Connie’s more annoying classmates starts to grate on her until they get into an argument. Making matters worse, Garnet, who was entrusted as the bus driver and chaperone, gets lost and un-fuses when Ruby and Sapphire disagree over a shortcut, leaving no one tall enough to actually drive the bus. Can the gang conquer their bus madness and actually make it to their destination?

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Salad Club

Steven notices that Lars hasn’t been sleeping well lately and asks Lars if he can enter his dreams to investigate. Steven comes across a recurring dream where Buck Dewey orders a Caprese Salad at the Big Donut, and Lars, eager to impress, has to scour Beach City for all the proper ingredients. Can Steven help Dream Lars whip up such a meal in a town built on fried, greasy boardwalk food?

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Fool’s Gold

After receiving a crash course on the fine art of April Fool’s Day pranking from Amethyst, Peridot enacts her plans for the ultimate prank-off. The only catch is that she waits until April 3 in order to maintain the element of surprise. However, Peridot’s pranks only enrage the people of Beach City, who were already in no mood for more jokes after Amethyst already terrorized the town on the real April Fool’s Day. Can Steven stop Peridot before she unleashes her coup de grâce, which involves covering the entire city in foam “just to see the looks on everyone’s faces,” and gets the Crystal Gems kicked out for good?

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Steven of the Creek

When the Crystal Gems finally succeed in tracking down an old Gem War era weapons station, all that remains is to retrieve the crystal keystone that Rose buried in the woods centuries ago. What seems like a simple mission is complicated, however, when Steven discovers that a local outdoorsy boy has already found the key and incorporated it into a crude homemade walking stick.

Will Steven succeed in convincing the boy to part with it, even though it totally completes the “mystical staff” look he was going for? Will he be able to keep up with him on an adventure in the meantime? Worst of all, will the Crystal Gems end up caught in the middle of the most epic paintball war of all time?