falconedreams

[falconedreams]

Rat

Quick dream. Happened during a long nap yesterday.

I dreamt I was a rat, or at least, in a rat’s body. I don’t know if I was transformed, or whatever, but I just knew that I didn’t /fit in/ with other rats and they were all suspicious of me. I tried to go dumpster diving and other such ratty things to convince the others that yes, I am indeed a rat, please don’t attack me, but they still seemed to be suspicious anyway.

The rats led me to this dilapidated, derelict, old abandoned building, paint peeling and slime and rust all over the walls. We went up a couple floors and found, uh, a man, I’m guessing, from the dressing. He was face down, and also, I’m a rat, so it wasn’t like I could see his entire body clearly. He was passed out or dead, I’m not sure. The body wasn’t decayed, at least. There was a half-eaten, scavenged pizza and hot dog on the floor beside him, still in their box/wrappers, and multiple empty glass bottles and metal tins, with a strong smell of alcohol and turpentine in the air, bad enough to even make me, a rat, nauseous. 

One of the man’s feet was bare, and the alpha rats directed me towards it. They told me (I’m not sure why I understand rat-speak) that rats were known for attacking helpless humans, and if I wanted to prove myself a rat, I would have to eat this man’s big toe. I was like, WHAT?! but I couldn’t protest, not just because that would make them even more suspicious of me, but because I actually physically couldn’t produce rat-speak (come to think of it, that’s probably also part of the reason why they were suspicious of me). 

So I bit the man’s toe, hard enough to make it bleed, hoping that the rats would be satisfied with that, but no, they kept staring at me, until I bit and chewed and swallowed and ate that man’s big toe right off his foot, bones and all. It was so disgusting and I felt so bad for the poor dude, like, why couldn’t I just have eaten the perfectly good pizza and hotdog next to him??? Just, urgh, grimey human toe in your mouth, I could feel all the calluses and ridges on my lil’ ratty tongue, and all the sweat and the grime that he’d been walking through, and the chewiness of raw flesh and tendon and EWWWWWW it was SO disgusting that the taste itself woke me up.

[falconedreams]

Mer-Society

Last night I dreamt I was a merman, and while mer-people are sapient, mer-society still operated like elephant seal society, in that the Dominant Male gets to mate with all the females. And the method of Establishing Dominance was to fight. To the death. 

I wasn’t interested in mating, but for some reason, other mer-guys kept finding me and challenging me to fights, and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I had to defend myself, and well, ended up winning every single fight I got into. I hated the flagrant waste of life, but they would not be dissuaded. To make matters worse, I now had all the mer-ladies throwing themselves at me. I didn’t want to have sex, so I panicked and told everyone that I was a girl, and to go sleep with my brother instead, since “we have similar genes”.

My brother thought this was hilarious, but said that he couldn’t believe anyone actually fell for me lying about being female, since according to him, “(my) pheromones stink up the water for a 30-mile radius. It’s like a giant flashing neon ‘FIGHT ME’ sign.”

[falconedreams]

Accidental Archery & Attempted Assassination

Last night I dreamt that me and some of my friends were doing archery as a Physical Education (PE) module. We were supposed to shoot at each other with foam (and paint) tipped arrows, so the paint would leave splotches on your opponent’s clothes. If you managed to hit them in more ‘vital’ areas you would have a higher score. It was like.....moving target practice I guess.

I was aiming at my friend, AN, and then just as I let fly, the foam tip fell off my arrow, and it pierced her in the chest, just an inch away from the heart. I was horrified and quickly ran to her aid, but she seemed collected (if in pain), and told me to get her phone to take a photo, because “this looks so badass”. Soon, actual medics arrived on the scene, removed the arrow, and bandaged her up, pronouncing her in no danger of death or permanent damage, so, whew, crisis averted. Then she said it was payback time, and pulled out a shotgun from I-don’t-even-know-where, and shot me point-blank in the shoulder.

I was highly annoyed, because - alright, fine, I deserve the pain, I guess, but why a gun?! Bullets don’t stick out imposingly like arrows do and I can’t have a cool photo-op! AN smugly informed me that 1) I had just shot her in the pectoral, how was she supposed to pull a bow, 2) she was more accurate with a gun anyway, and 3) if I got to have a cool photo-op it wouldn’t count as revenge. Alright, fair, I guess. Luckily the medics hadn’t packed up and left yet so I also was able to get my shoulder fixed and then AN and I grudgingly made up and went to find the rest of our art friends.

We met up with the High School Art Gang in a sort of....strange, magical-ish supermarket. It had no prices on any of the foodstuffs and they weren’t arranged in any sort of logical order, it was kind of like a thrift store, but for food. You just had to rummage and find whatever. G2 bought shrimp dumplings that had tiny hidden treasures in them, O bought a Magic Abalone that had been Marinated In A Special Sauce for 50 years, and I bought 2 litres of lychee-flavoured soda. After that we all went to the movies.

I don’t remember what show we were supposed to be watching, but it didn’t matter anyway, because before the show started I saw RK and her husband J walk in and sit near the front (we were sitting near the back). I didn’t really care, because I’m not close to RK anymore and I never liked J, but I was scrolling on my phone, as I do before movies, and Chrome suddenly suggested a whole host of articles whose content I will not comment on (because I don’t want to be sued for slander, even if I disclaim that all this is just a product of my crazy subconscious and bears no relation to real life), but they made me very certain that J needed to be killed. So I pulled out my bow and arrows (which, again, where on earth was I keeping them??) and this time very deliberately shot him, multiple times, trying to make sure I ruptured as many major organs as I could.

[falconedreams]

Haunted Art House

Last night I dreamt I was wandering aimlessly around in a mall, minding my own business and enjoying the aircon, when suddenly a group of black-suited individuals accosted me. They introduced themselves as the assistants-cum-legal team of some famous artist, I forgot his name, and told me that he was nearing the end of his life, and wanted to find a protege, and had chosen me. I found this more flattering than suspicious, because, well, I think my art is not bad, and some of my work is quite....public, shall we say, so although I thought the offer was somewhat out of proportion to my actual skills, it wasn’t as balls-out insane as say, a mathematician offering me a PhD candidature. So I agreed.

I went with them to this mansion-cum-studio-cum-art gallery, which I was told was where the man worked, lived, and kept his art. He was rumored to be somewhat of a recluse, as no one ever saw him - all his work was auctioned through his assistants, and all his meals were to be left at the door. Well, I found out why.

The assistants told me to go meet him at his study, on the second floor, and then they scarpered. I suppose in hindsight I should’ve realised it was suspicious that they never even wanted to step across the threshold of the mansion, but I thought that maybe they just wanted to get their jobs done quickly and go relax after. I can certainly understand that. So I went in, went up, found the study, and found - no one inside. I just found his desk, and a note pinned to the desk with a palette knife.

I can’t remember what it said verbatim, but the gist of it was: He was sorry, but this was a trick. He hadn’t wanted a protege at all, he wanted a replacement. The thing was, the mansion/gallery was magical, and required a resident artist at all times. It would feed off the soul of emotions of the artist, and regurgitate the waste onto canvas - from whence came all the paintings that he sold. He was dying, and wanted to see the outside world for one last time. The people he had lured previously were all....unsuccessful, there needed to be a certain.....artistic temperament? That the mansion could properly feed off of, and he was glad but sorry to find it in me, because now I was condemned to be master and slave of the house, being fed on by it until my life ran out as well.

I thought this was a joke, of course, and tried to go back out the front door, only to find that the architecture had changed while I had my back turned. It was like that, wherever I went, I could not find an exit. Then the paintings on the walls started talking to me, telling me, if I cooperated with the house, we could become immensely powerful. The house, they said, had powers to bestow. In order to turn my soul into paintings, the house would provide me with the power to leech colour from the outside world - animals and people that crossed the grounds would be harvested for blood red, plants would wither and die for green, streams and rivers would run dry if I wanted to leech some blue, etc etc. And because it was leeched from a real thing, whatever I painted could become real. If I wanted, say, a glass of water, the blue that I leeched from a stream would become real water when I painted it. 

I didn’t want to kill and destroy to make art, and I didn’t want to lure someone in to do the same just so I could be free. So I did the only thing I could think of - I painted fire. I leeched from the burning might of the sun - it was powerful enough to burn for another 5 billion years, so it surely could spare enough fire to burn down one measly mansion - and that’s what I did. I turned the house’s power against it, borrowed the fire of the sun, and burned the house down. Of course, the house turned against me as well, and to the end kept changing the architecture to disorient me, to trap me, ensure that I couldn’t leave - but of course I already knew that I was going to go down with it. 

[falconedreams]

Shopping Gone Wrong

Last night I dreamt that I was meeting my JC (sixth form) class back at school for some holiday class outing, I don’t remember where the original destination was. The whole thing got derailed when this - cross of my ex-friend’s husband and a judoka in my class - let’s call this hybrid being JK - appeared, with gigantic boobs. We were all like, what happened?! He said he’d mixed up his bodybuilding supplements with his girlfriend’s fertility supplements, and ended up - well.

Fortunately, as a trans man, I have lots of experience with binders! I brought him to this shop that I allegedly frequent (IRL, I buy my binders online) but we then found out that it had been converted into a gym. Not willing to give up, we googled other possible places to buy binders. 

It transpired that there was another binder shop just a floor above, but because the elevator was broken and the stairs were under reconstruction, a makeshift bamboo ladder was the only thing people could use to traverse between floors. So JK went up - but halfway up, the ladder gave way under his weight. He was falling head-first, and in dream!slow-motion I thought that if he fell and hit his head or neck, he might die, or become paralysed, and I felt responsible, because I was the one who suggested we go binder-shopping, so I dashed forth and attempted to catch him.

It goes without saying that I failed to catch him, of course, because he is a mini-gorilla and I am a tiny wretched gremlin that would lose a fight to two cats, but I did manage to break his fall, at least. He didn’t die or get permanently injured, but he did break a leg and I broke an arm. My brain is disturbingly good at simulating sensations I’ve never actually felt before. Like, yeah, pain is one thing, but I could also feel the jagged ends of the snapped bone in my arm moving about when I tried to move my arm. It wasn’t just painful, it also made me feel.....sick. Nauseous, yes, that’s the word.

We tried getting ambulances, but only JK succeeded, since he’s rich (well J is, IRL, anyway, not sure about K) so he got his private hospital ambulance, but I was left to slowly make my way to a clinic myself using public transport. At least I could walk, I guess. The alarm clock woke me up before I could get my arm seen to, but I guess waking up to a healthy and intact body is much better than prolonged dream!suffering anyway.

[falconedreams]

Surgery Switch

Last night I dreamt it was May already and I was in Thailand at the hospital where I’d booked my top surgery, all excited to finally be having them annoying blobs EVICTED!! But then when the doctor came in, he looked down and noticed my feet and was like, “No no no, this will not do. Before the top surgery you must first do bunion surgery.” I was like, what?! I didn’t ask for this! And anyway, I can walk fine! Then he was like, “No no, you see, your right foot, the bunion is already so much more obvious compared to the left, and the big toe is rotated inwards, so the pressure is on the side of the toe and not the bottom. If you go on like this you are going to have a lot of Pain and need even more invasive surgery later on.” 

I was fuming because hell, I’ve waited so long for this top surgery!! But I GUESS he had a point?? My toe is obviously wonky IRL. I’ve just been neglecting it because - big deal, right. There are lots of people with wayyy worse feet who are functioning just fine. But I guess the dream was just like back-of-mind anxiety about the toe. I do worry about it sometimes cuz it hurts and stuff.

[falconedreams]

Smart Baby

My cousin recently had a baby IRL, so last night I dreamt that this 2 month old baby said “father” and straight up started walking. I was like, holy balls! A genius baby! Then the baby toddled over to me and said “My nappy requires changing!” And I was like, no! I’m not your parent! Then the baby was like, “Fetch my parents then!” Imperious baby.

Turns out, the baby, can already say “Hello!” IRL. 8O

[falconedreams]

Of Cryptic Conches & Castles

My dreams come in 3 flavours - logical to the point of hilarity, cartoon slapstick comedy, and cryptic fever dreams. This is the third kind. ……Maybe literally. I haven’t been feeling so well these days.

Anyway.

I dreamt I was on a beach. A rocky beach, with lots of cracks and crevices for coastal life to hide in. Don't know how I got there, there was no lead-up. I was alone. Not just in the sense that there wasn't anyone around that I knew, but there wasn't anyone - at all, period. Somehow I didn't find that odd. I guess because I enjoy the silence and solitude, so I didn’t question it. Also, there was a thick fog and I could only see maybe a couple arms' length in front of me, so I guess I just thought no one wanted to come out in this weather, or I just couldn't see them. I didn't care. I liked the silence, and I liked the cool weather, so I hunted for sea glass along the beach.

I didn't find any, but I did find this magnificent conch shell - I didn't believe it had belonged to any animal to begin with, it was in such pristine condition. It was huge, as long as my forearm and as wide as my thigh, with spikes fanning out like a lionfish's fins; beautifully marbled in fiery orange, pink, and gold.

I blew into it, because, well, conch. I’ve tried this before, IRL, to no effect, so I wasn’t expecting anything, but to my utter amazement and awe this particular conch produced this resonating, reverberating foghorn blast – so long, so loud, and so low, you would’ve thought it was a top-of-the-line cruiser or tanker, not a half-meter shell. At the blast of the conch, the fog magically rolled away, revealing a little island just a little ways out to sea, with a little castle of grey stone on it. I decided to go swim out to have a look (This is starting to sound like one of those "you're in a forest" personality quizzes).

The castle wasn’t very grand and imposing (I mean, it was on an island), and it was worn by age and the elements, but it had that sort of weathered, craggy beauty – like looking into the face of a dignified old person and seeing a flash of the dashing heartbreaker they were in their youth. The grounds were unkempt and overgrown but there were no thorns, no weeds - just tangles and tangles of wildflowers that seemed to be almost exulting, luxuriating, in their wild, chaotic beauty.

As soon as I set foot into the castle, I was overcome with this incredible, powerful sense of - (I sat staring at the computer screen for 5 minutes before I finally found the right word) - grief. Loss, and sadness, and longing, so hard that it physically hurt. A pain so deep and so fierce, no doctors’ charts have a word to describe it. I found myself on my knees, my forehead pressed against the cool stone floor, sobbing my heart out on the threshold of the doorway, not knowing why.

I cried until I was profoundly exhausted, then, deciding that I didn’t have the energy to swim back, started to explore the castle. It was a lot more well-kept than its outside would suggest, except for this one room, which I’ll get to later. First, I found the kitchen. It was heated and dimly lit by the embers dying in their hearths. Strangely enough, there was a fresh meal laid out on one of the counters. Fresh baked bread, still warm, the crust crisp and crackly and the insides as airy as cotton and tasting as creamy as butter. An assortment of cheeses and dried meats and fruits. Chilled cut crystal decanter of water. You would think I have watched enough horror movies to know better, but I ate it all. Thankfully, nothing happened.

Then I found the – my guess would be that it was the dining room. This is the one room that looked as old and abandoned as the outside of the castle. There was nothing in it but some long-burnt-out wall torches, some overturned chairs and in the middle of the room, a huge stone table, so large and so heavy that it must have been carved straight out of the stone floor, because there was no way it could’ve made it through the doorway. Nevertheless, some incredible force had apparently managed to damage it. I couldn’t imagine how it was done, but it was cracked in half and caved in straight down the middle. Kind of like Aslan's table, but round, instead of square.

My last stop was the library. I had really meant to try for a bedroom, but I was too tired by then, and anyway the library had a good fire merrily roaring away, and these beautiful plush red chaise lounges chased with gold and matching fluffy red throw rugs.  Then i found the library! It also had a good fire going, and these super comfy looking red chaise lounges with matching red fluffy throw rugs. They looked roughly handcrafted and the colour was dulled with age, but when I ran my hands over them there was no dust, so I grabbed a few books off the shelves at random and settled down near the fire.

I should probably have looked at the books before I pulled them off the shelves, because when I opened the first book, it was blank. As was the second. And the third. All the books were blank. It was really confusing and frustrating but by that point I was just so tired and the chaise lounge was just so cosy that I just fell asleep anyway.

Then I woke up IRL. ._. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!

[falconedreams]

Driving Lesson

Last night I dreamt I signed up for driving lessons. But for some reason I thought you had to bring your own car. So I somehow hot-wired a car and drove it down to the center, before my first lesson had even started. I’m not sure how I wasn’t arrested.

[falconedreams]

A-Paw-Cat-lypse

Last night I dreamt the world was in.......an "apocalypse"??? I say this with Large Doubt because what happened was that cats took over the world, like Planet of the Apes, but Planet of the Cats. I was training in this camp to go on a rescue mission to free some of my friends that had been kidnapped by these giant cats. But when I got to the cat hideout, it was just, so amazing. There were so many cats and they would let you pet them and all that, and you just had to make sure they had food and litter, which is basically what cat owners do anyway. I ended up willingly giving myself over to the cats. LOL.

[falconedreams]

Tattoos & Twitter

Last night I dreamt me and three of my friends, O, AN, and RL, met up to hang out, and we had the bright idea of designing tattoos for each other. O and RL paired up, and me and AN paired up, to do a tattoo swap. AN designed for me a bear and a koi fish framed with flowers. I designed for her Xie Lian and Hua Cheng of TGCF as dragons.

On the way to the tattoo parlour, we ran into O and RL (we had split up earlier to find quiet places to do our designs) and they were screaming and running for their lives because Elon Musk had bioengineered a giant blue Twitter bird for a mascot and it went wrong and it was rampaging around eating everyone. AN and I realised we hadn’t finished our tattoo designs, so we added on the finishing touches - the pupils, onto our respective animal drawings, and they came to life to battle the giant Twitter bird. 

I don’t know which animal(s) won because we all just went to get beef noodles.

[falconedreams]

DaisyRose

Last night I dreamt my teddy bear gave birth to a smaller bear that looked exactly like it, except it had yellow fur and a yellow ribbon. The original bear named the baby bear DaisyRose. I asked my bear how on earth it managed to give birth, it’s a wad of cotton. Then the bear sassed me back: “How is it you buy me talking, but not me giving birth?”

[falconedreams]

Honorary Fishing Citizenship

Last night I dreamt I caught the Largest Tuna Ever and I happily sold it for a lot of money at the Tsukiji Fish Market, and then the Japanese government offered me honorary citizenship. I was flattered but a) that was a fluke, I can’t catch fish like that all the time, I mean - that depends on the availability of the fish, right??? And b) I can’t speak Japanese, so it would be really difficult to live there. And most importantly, c) I DON’T WANT TO LIVE THERE. I mean, yes, Japan has lovely food and anime and scenery, BUT. The one time I went there for a holiday, it stressed me out more than my regular life, which I was supposed to be taking a break from. Why is the trash sorted by day and type?? Why aren’t there any public bins?? Am I supposed to carry my used tissues in my pocket the entire day and have all the snot in my pocket?? Why do the trains go to different places depending on the timing and not the station??? Why is everyone so deathly quiet on the train??? What if I ask for soy sauce and piss off the chefs??? God, no. Imported sushi and streamed anime suits me just fine, thanks.

[falconedreams]

Battle for Shoes

Last night I dreamt I was back at my high school mall haunt with my Art Friends. We’d decided to do a Throwback to High School Days kind of day out. So after we had our hilariously budget instant noodle lunch, we went to the ground floor of the mall to pretend to be Rich People and visit all the store where they have those red rope stand things to ensure that there are only a Maximum Amount of Patrons in a store at a time.

Anyway, we were in....Chanel? I think it was Chanel, I don’t know, all those stores have the same decor, all white and gold. It was one of those stores targeted at women with the handbags and the shoes and perfumes. Anyway, we were just looking around, amusing ourselves, and I was intently studying this pair of shoes that I thought were marvellously designed (with no intention of buying!! I always do this, try to memorise clothes and shoes that I find interesting, for clothes design reference for my OCs), when this ABSOLUTELY INSANE woman, saw me looking at the shoes, and thought that I WANTED them (I guess the haircut and the binders didn’t clue her in as much as I thought since a lot of cis women have short hair and unremarkable chests), but they were the last pair of shoes in that design, and she ALSO wanted them, so she thought it would be a really good idea to smash my big toe with a hammer that she was carrying around in her purse FOR SOME REASON. I guess this is her method of Ensuring Her Prize Buys??

So that was our day out ruined. We tried to call an ambulance but they said that it was only for Major Emergencies and a Toe Didn’t Count; so then we tried to get a taxi but we also could not get a taxi because it was the freaking Shopping Central, so all the taxis were hired. I was freaking out because my toe hurt a lot and worse, looked really awful - I think the look of it scared me more than the pain; pain I can deal with as long as I know that nothing’s badly wrong, like cramps, it’s just like, well this sucks, but it’ll pass - but the toe looked really badly damaged, and I was terrified of losing it. We ended up wrapping it with freaking toilet paper from the loos and hobbling to the nearest doctor we could find. Fortunately, after the doctor cleaned it up it didn’t look so bad and I was told it would heal alright, so, insert big sigh of relief. THE BILL THOUGH!!! so much for a throwback budget day out.

[falconedreams]

Cruise to Abstract Land

Last night I dreamt I was supposed to go on a cruise, but it ended up being a sad little ferry instead, and they tried to cover it up by getting everyone drunk, like a cruise-version of Fyre Festival. Then we sailed to this weird land where everything seemed rather 2D and abstract looking. I didn’t complain because the weather seemed nice enough and there was a lot of space, which Singapore doesn’t have, and I was planning on settling down there since the housing situation is impossible in Singapore. The only problem was that everything was too abstract to know what was....edible. Luckily I woke up before food became a problem.

[falconedreams]

Wuxia Dance Dance Revolution

Last night I dreamt that I was playing some Dance Dance Revolution game only it was like, set in some fantasy Wuxia thing. It was a phone app, but you could broadcast it onto the TV or project it onto a wall so you could hit the arrows and what not, just like in the arcades. To progress from like peasant to magistrate to court official you had to clear harder and harder stages.

After I levelled up to become a court official, the “main story” began. So my rise up the ranks was just a prelude to the main action. So there was this high ranking dude accused of some shit that would normally warrant a caning, but because his family commanded like a sizeable mercenary force the order was to just make him publicly apologise. But apparently the jailors didn't get the memo and caned him anyway and then a huge civil war erupted.

So I had to play more Dance Dance Revolution in order to a) escape from the chaos b) successfully find some magic artefacts to stop the war. I secured a  Magic Paintbrush which would be able to make things that I drew real. But I fucked up at the final dance game and ended up washing the brush in the palace lake, which turned the entire thing black and reanimated all the dead people that had been tossed in there to dispose of political rivals or what not. Thunder and lightning flashed through the sky and the capital was overrun by zombies and I decided I had wasted enough time on this stupid game and went off to have dinner.

[falconedreams]

Cat Ghost

Last night I dreamt I was my D&D bard (who is also named Bard), and I was chasing this inky, smoky spectre through the halls of my abandoned high school. I got into a confrontation with it, and it shattered my sword and gave me this Frodo-style unhealing cut on my shoulder that would slowly spread poison towards my heart and kill me unless I found out what the ghost was unhappy about and fixed it. I desperately went to look for unsolved crimes relating to the campus but I could find nothing, and I was just about to die, when I tripped, and spilled some milk I was carrying (why? I’m not even that fond of milk), and the spectre came and formed into....the shape of a cat and started lapping it up.

Turns out, the spectre was actually just a cat ghost that had been depressed since no one was leaving treats out or playing with it anymore since everyone had moved to the new campus. Once we left treats and toys out everything was fine and my shoulder healed nicely.