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fallenfrommars6277 · 15 hours ago

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CH 31: “Something Changed”

The first thing I'll say is: on this account we love Kagi and Hirano (so if they're not your cup of tea, better not read any further).

The 2nd thing, I feel like these chapters have been so intense! I really love this manga and hope we continue to enjoy it for many more years to come. The rest I'll leave under the cut since “spoilers”

And their first kiss... The detail in the image took me by surprise. The truth is that I always found curious the pseudo censorship of sensei, or his editors, to kisses (they are just kisses, nothing more!), but having this close-up really caught my attention. Also the color and details were superb! The effort to subtly point out Hirano's lips... All this to then be slapped by Hirano's reaction

Whenever I imagined that scene I always thought of a more joyful situation, with Hirano being the one to initiate things and Kagi accepting it.

And certainly, when I read ch30I thought that Hirano could push him, but I didn't want to think about that option, I wanted something happier... But of course, at some point I forgot that this is KGHR and that of course things would have to have a little more drama (yum yum, drama), and that it wouldn't be that simple.

And I'm really glad it wasn't.

A while ago (around ch 28) I thought things shouldn't develop so fast as I didn't see Hirano understanding 100% of his feelings or how he feels about a relationship, then rushing into an acknowledgement of his feelings and all that goes with that didn't seem right to me. Now, reading ch 31 I think the development of this chapter is totally in line with the character's evolution and the story in general, it's just that my dreamy soul wanted, longed for, a kiss that would be satisfying for both of them.

When I saw that panel, no lie, my heart sank… because it happened the way I didn't want it to happen (although it was a possibility; we already know Hirano is good at fighting), but it's a reaction Hirano could definitely have because, if he's already not comfortable with more intimate physical contact and is quite reactive, of course he would react viscerally and run Kagi off his side.

Hirano definitely has a lot of strength. With one push he threw away a guy who is much taller and athletic than him, even with his left hand, (although he says it didn't hurt, I think he says it more to not worry him). But his expression is the one that hurt me the most:

not only has his eyebrows slanted down as usual, but he has a face of saddened (eyebrows half raised, but not meeting in the middle, but raised again), eyes with small pupils and wide open, the shadow over his gaze that is slanted towards the floor... he is really shocked. And that only the sound of Kagiura's bag falling to the floor is what brings him back to himself, only to immediately worry if he had hurt him...

Just to bring them both back to thinking about the kiss

And once again my heart broke! Kagi asking Hirano if he didn't like the kiss... I can imagine the pain he must have felt with the rejection, and also having to formulate those words that seemed unnecessary since, damn! He was thrown into the air with one slap! Which other confirmation would you need after that?! But what I love is that here they are no longer in times of assuming things,but rather he asks to be sure and we have a pretty auspicious confirmation because Hirano says it's not that he disliked it, it's just complicated

And I felt my little eyes sparkle with happiness for this because: IT'S NOT THAT HE DISLIKED IT! That opens the door for the possibility that later on, he might want to do it! That later on, he might have the desire to kiss Kagi! It's only complicated now because he's still understanding how his perception of romance is, but it doesn't close the door on it (I think I'm just as hopeful as Kagi at this point). Now, Kagi's reaction is one of bewilderment because he hasn't experienced that, but I have faith that he'll come to understand Hirano over time.

Hirano falls down after realizing that he hit Kagi, because he kissed him (even though he already knew he wanted to do it) I think that tells us a lot since I think it's the first time he reacts like that. We always see him more confident, more self-assured and he only crouches down to look at Kagi, but in this scene he's the one who needs stability, looking for it on the floor. And then Kagi sits down again looking like a scolded puppy (for the second time that day), though now in front of his beloved and in a clear position of apology

He apologizes.

Because he regrets having crossed the line. Because he cares about what Hirano wants. BECAUSE HE WANTS WHATEVER THEY DO TO BE SOMETHING THEY BOTH WANT.

Hirano's mind is working at a thousand miles an hour because he wants Kagi to be okay. He feels bad for making him feel bad, but that doesn't mean he's going to step over his own boundaries. I love that he's clear about that. He's not going to kiss him if he doesn't want to, and that's great.

But Hirano keeps thinking that he loves Kagi's smile, and he wants him to smile, and he knows that touching him will make him happy but he represses this impulse because he had already used up his 10 seconds for the day... Which reminds me of chapter 15, when after defining the 10 second experiment he represses touching Kagi's head and doesn't know why he wanted to do it...

Well, he finally knows he wants to touch Kagi

And damn it! Just at that moment Hanzawa shows up!!!! As timely as ever!

But Hanzawa is still the dorm head? I thought that position was for a 2nd year student (that's why he offered it to Kagi). Why is he sticking his nose in other people's business and giving ultimatums to get the door open?

Ahhhhh, Hanzawa has me so nervous lately, but I'll go into more detail about it in a few lines below because just this interruption left us at the best part: Hirano realizing that there's more in common with Kagi than just wanting to be together. And that's great, blond boy! Leaving Hanzawa out for a while so he could finish his important conversation.

And well, I just wanted to say that I love how Hirano looks here.

But back on topic, and distracted by Hanzawa's interruption, Hirano thinks again that he hurt Kagi, and wants to take care of him (looking for ice for his wound) and Kagi acting tough saying it didn't hurt; Darling, your cheek is red and your heart is broken, obviously it must hurt....

And I love that they start one of their silly fights (with less yelling thankfully), but it's a way to show that they're okay. I mean, they are still fighting but in that dynamic they have between them where they take care of each other and fight at the same time

but something has changed in their relationship, and Hirano is aware of it since instead of letting it go like other times (remember the fight in the classroom in ch 16b where the bell is the one that ends the argument. At this moment what he is looking for is to make up. We can argue about how questionable his methods are, but not the background to it.

Because he's really thinking about what they could do to reconcile, and he drops the bombshell: He doesn't consider himself part of ordinary people, he doesn't feel part of whatever any other person would think or want to do (kiss), so he has to find his own way.

I have to say I feel a bit sorry for the face he makes in that last panel; he looks kind of sad when he thinks about it. But despite that, he realizes that it's not just the desire to be together that they share; they both want to touch each other (probably Kagi is more intense in this aspect still), but it's something they share, and already that diagram is getting complete with more things overlapping each other and this gives the cue to the cutest confession Hirano could give!

And isn't it a beautiful confession?:

"There might be places where we differ, but even then... I feel like I wanna touch you, I love it when you laugh, I wanna see you give it your all in the things you love from up close and:

Hirano ❤️‍🔥 really shined in his confession as he was able to tell him everything he felt (finally), and yes, it's like when Kagi confessed letting out everything he likes about the other, everything he wants from the other

Hirano is so smart! Despite being in the middle of his confession, he immediately thinks that they should disguise the situation so that Hanzawa won't say anything and they can continue or start (?) their relationship, because he knows that Hanzawa is against homosexual relationships so they must cover their steps.

But my poor scolded puppy had zero hope; he thought he lost his chance with Hirano

This last panel of Kagi again breaks my heart! (This chapter was so intense guys!) Seriously, in just 5 minutes he saw all his fantasies shattered and reassembled in front of his eyes. Kagi is definitely the strongest...I really thought he'd start crying at any moment.

And I love that Hirano tells him that of course they have a chance. That it doesn't matter what mistake he made because they can try. And it's a way for Hirano to be convinced that it doesn't matter if they don't see the physical aspect of their relationship the same way right now, they can and they both want to try. One point that definitely caught my attention: what did Hirano think Kagi was going to ask for? Because he had already said no to kissing, but when Kagi says he wants to hug him his response is “haven't we done that a couple of times? ”What were you waiting for Hirano????

And the 2nd bombshell of the chapter drops:

What's with that sensitive back Hirano!

Okay, is sensei an evil mind or a mastermind? She's had us all these years thinking about Hirano's slender waist (either mentioning it in arts, comments, etc), but it turns out that now we won't have any panels of Kagi hugging him? Or will that be our reward for ch 50? And wow! He's so sensitive about his waist! I feel like they've been tempting us with this.... And then I think, really this series is far from ssmy because here sensei have given a lot of importance to the physical aspect. And I love that Hirano has that aroace inclination but at the same time, he's very sensitive.

Ok, boundaries set, so now Kagi knows he has to let Hirano know if he wants to do something, but this only makes me think:

Hirano didn't 100% refuse to kiss, nor to really be touched.So they'll have to practice little by little and probably let Hirano take the initiative (no taking him by surprise). And I really hope the next kiss will be from Hirano since I think he will eventually want to kiss him (I still think it will be in an impulsive start, maybe when Kagi wins a game).

Going back to the previous panel. I love how Kagi looks like saying he wants to kiss him, he really is so handsome and flirtatious! Hirano will have to be careful because I'm sure he'll be falling under the charms of our beloved basketball player, especially now that he'll be off guard and that he knows he does like him.

But I love Hirano's reaction to that confession, since ok, he doesn't want to kiss him, but his impulse is to ask him if he can advance the 10 seconds of the next day (throw away that rule for god's sake!), and when he has Kagi's approval...

He just jumps in and hugs him! (I'm dreaming?) I LOVE that that he cuddles his head into Kagi's neck!! I feel like that will be his favorite place to be with his boyfriend, and that he hugs him so badly surrounding him completely. It's the same longing Kagi has in ch 20 when he catches him in the infirmary

Only now they're finally on the same page. And both of them saying that's what it is they want at that moment, they're happy, they're together, they're finally in love.

And certainly this hug is a far cry from the one he gave him in the laundry room, it definitely doesn't feel like he's hugging a puppy.

Hanzawa!!!! Listening to everything, knowing what's going on behind the door because obviously he heard everything and already has them on his radar (he just needs to take out his red card to chase them off).

I'm worried that he saw them leave beaten up... And while he says it's fine as long as it's just that, it's clear he's thinking about something else, like it's bringing back memories of what his brothers go through with their partners. It's so obvious what's going on between his friend and the roommate that I don't think he hesitates too much to talk to Hirano. Already in the novel he asked him directly if something was going on between the two of them. If he asks again, will Hirano be able to lie to him? It would seem so since that was Hirano's first impulse: to hide the truth about what was going on (btw, the worst vice president of the disciplinary committee, breaking all the rules).

This reminds me of when he talks to Sasaki on the second-year trip. Sasaki tells him to leave Hirano alone because he can defend himself in a fight and Hanzawa is like “wtf, that doesn't reassure me!”

And how awful it is to have to hide from Hanzawa!! I don't know how long the cover-up will last, but they'll have to be extra careful from now on as Hanzawa's alarms are fully on and alert to their behavior. Unfortunately those paper walls give them zero privacy.....

And my last thoughts about the chapter:

Ok, poor Niibashi, now he'll really have to listen to Kagi's whining! That he kissed him, that he hit him, that he hugged him and now he doesn't know where their relationship is.

Wait, if he already confessed, does that mean they're now dating? Because Hirano told Ichinose that they weren't dating, yet. So if he thinks he can date him, will we see them become official in the next episode? Ok, but they will have to redefine what dating means to them, considering the limits Hirano has, and what Kagi wants.

Now that he has understood that he wants to touch Kagi: what will happen when he finally gets glimpse of those elusive but long-awaited abs? Will he have the urge to touch them? Will Kagi show them to him? Will he take the opportunity to negotiate and touch Hirano himself?

Will they drop the 10-second rule? Please! Drop the 10-second rule!

And now that it's reciprocated, will Kagi tell Hirano how long he's been in love?

When will Kagi give him the ring?

I suddenly remembered at the 3rd-grade cultural festival: Hirano is pretty knowledgeable about dating and all that. So, has he already experienced more things with Kagi by then?

Ok, and going back to June? When he talks to Sasaki and he tells him that he confessed and that he did it all wrong, Hirano will tell him that he's dating Kagi and they're trying things to see how far they can go and that's why they have that conversation? (note part, now I understand why Hirano gets so mad at sasaki for telling miyano that he likes everything about him, he's lazy even to confess!).

Well, I feel like everything is truly more difficult for KGHR. I feel like it's a deeper and more nuanced story, where it's not just a romantic awakening story, where you're outside of “the norm”, but it's much more than that, and I love it.

And one last question... why was Hirano's lip hurt? Did Kagi reach to bite him?

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