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has anyone done severance au where they sever when they put the helmet on??

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🫧

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currently unable to get the image of carlos inserting then pulling anal beads out of himself alone on his bed (long before piñon gets ahold of his dads toy) out of my head, you're crazy for that fic <<<333

re: dog walking fic

HAHAHAH i actually originally had it as piñón smelling oscar and being like 💡‼️ and helpfully BRINGING OSCAR HIS OWN MCLAREN JACKET which carlos has no earthly reason to have in his apartment and which oscar assumes is LANDO’S and returns to him but lando pulls out a plane ticket in the pocket proving it’s OSCAR’S which is SO WEIRD but oscar thinks lando must have originally gotten them mixed up and worn the jacket to carlos’s meanwhile carlos is losing his mind because he’s a FREAK who STOLE CLOTHES and his STOLEN CLOTHES WENT MISSING and then lando messages “why did you have oscar’s jacket?” 😭😭😭

but it was so long and so much back and forth that i said…u know what…anal beads

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x

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Dogstep 🐕

🧡 An Oscarmark oneshot, inspired by the wonderful dog crate discourse by @wisteriagoesvroom !

✍️ 2.7k words, rated E

🔗 Read on AO3 (archive locked)

Summary:

There's a foreboding feeling at the back of his mind, knowing that whatever Mark bought, it can't be anything good. Knowing Mark, it's probably something fucked up. After all, the last time Mark brought home an unlabelled box, Oscar ended up leashed and collared for the first time.

_ Mark brings home a dog crate. It's not meant for his dogs.

Tagging people who seemed interested, aka who told me or reblogged the snippet i shared <3

@foggieststars @theothots @cemeterygrace @peachymayberry81 @yeahwegroovin @dogboymark @mindthechicane

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Posterboys | Lando/Alex | Explicit | 5.5k words.

“I’m going to fuck Alex,” Lando said and kept a straight face for so long that George stopped laughing. After George's teasing goes too far, Lando decides to get revenge. On AO3.

“There was one Formula 1 driver who had your poster in his bedroom, do you know who?” “Yes, Lando, crazy. It’s cool, a bit weird as well. It’s life size, it was a cut out from when I was 11, so it’s quite small but I think it’s still taller than Lando now.

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a flaw in the angle

(galex, rated e, ~3k words)

10:20am:

alexander.albon@thetimes.com: hey! Bumping this

alexander.albon@thetimes.com: just a reminder that we don’t need the article to be complete to start drafting the script! Could we get a copy by 12?

10:45am:

alexander.albon@thetimes.com: hey, just checking in on this?

11:23am:

alexander.albon@thetimes.com: hey max, any chance we could get that draft?

OR: Alex has a rough day at the office. George tries to make it better.

read here

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fish max https://archiveofourown.org/works/61822132

fish max my beloved 10/10 fic

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i need to see max leaping over the barricade into the arms of his mechanics again

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I'm your number one, your number one Your number one, your number one, your number one Your number one, your number one, your number one Your number one, yeah, I'm just livin' that life

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another one, thank you!!

saw oscar suffering in australia and thought how do i make myself also suffer? the result was this drawing! :D

alsooooo thank you so much for the love on the first one i did nawt expect that!! <3 all the lovely comments and tags are absolutely going to my head, i think i'm gonna need an f1 driver's neck to carry it if y'all keep going (but actually please do keep going, the compliments ✨sustain me✨)

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first post kinda nervous!!!! (that is a lie i've had many a tumblr blog in ye olden days but first post on this account :))

I draw (sometimes) and thought why not share these drawings on a platform that's not owned by m*rk z*ckerberg?

I do also post on ig though if you want to have a look at my other stuff already c:

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‼️THE OMEGAVERSE FEST IS LIVE‼️

Read the rules and FAQs below + access the ao3 collection and join the Discord server!*

edit: new Discord link

***

Rules:

You must be over 18 years old,

You must claim a prompt to participate,

The prompts and submissions must be centred around omegaverse - it's not called an Omegaverse Fest for nothing! When prompting, keep the focus on omegaverse and associated tropes and dynamic - ships and characters are optional,

Sign-ups and prompting close on 12 September at 23:59 CET (Central European Time),

All pairings and characters are allowed as long as they're related to F1, 

For written works, the minimum word count is 1.5k. For fanarts, it has to be at least a colorised sketch - and for graphics and any other type of visual art, apply a comparable standard,

When submitting works, make sure they are locked!

No content is off limits - but tag and rate it appropriately,

Submit your works on time - the deadline is on 11 October at 23:59 CET.

FAQs:

What are the timelines again?

The sign-ups and prompting open on 18 July at 8:00.

Prompting closes on 12 September at 23:59.

Works are due on 11 October at 23:59.

The collection will be revealed on 12 October at 17:00.

All times are in CET (Central European Time). Check what time it is for you HERE. If you want to see a visual of the timeline, then check out THIS post.

How many prompts can I submit?

You can submit up to 5 prompts.

Do I have to keep the prompt anonymous?

No, you can choose to not submit a (semi-)anonymous prompt by unticking the checkbox at the end of the Prompt Form.

What does it mean that prompts and works have to be "centred around omegaverse"?

For prompts, it means that they must be focused on omegaverse and associated tropes and dynamics.

For example, you prompt two alphas in a rut or omega driver forgot his suppressants and goes into heat during the race weekend. You can also prompt certain characters and ships if you want, but you have to specify the relevant omegaverse designations and/or tropes.

When writing or creating, you should fulfil the prompt and keep your focus on omegaverse. As a good rule of thumb, ask yourself if your prompt/submission would substantially change if the omegaverse aspect was removed from it. If the answer is no, then omegaverse is not central enough.

Can I submit my work anonymously?

Yes, if you want to! You can do that by adding it to the Anonymous Collection on AO3 when you post your work.

Do I have to lock my work?

Yes. If you don't know how to do it, you can find more information about it HERE.

Is there a limit to how many works I can submit?

No! Write and create to your heart's content - as long as you keep the deadlines in mind.

Do I have to join the Discord server?

No, you don't have to! All relevant information, such as the rules, FAQs and deadlines, is posted on AO3 and reposted on Tumblr. Discord might be good for you to join if you're looking to connect with other participants in the fest and discuss the prompts together.

I never participated in a fandom event like this and I'm still confused - what do I do?

You can check out AO3's FAQs on Prompt Memes, which should answer all your questions.

Links:

What if I have a question that has not been answered here?

You can send an ask to this blog or ask the Admin directly in the Fest's Discord server, if you have decided to join it.

AO3 COLLECTION HERE * DISCORD SERVER HERE (new link, valid until 25 July)

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still learning how to paint hhh but here's my goat georgeous russell

i didn't know what to do with the empty space so i put hachiwares there. george is my favorite critter this is real and true

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carcar—humiliating adventures in dogsitting 🐶

Answering the phone is Oscar’s first match strike mistake.

“Mate, you need to walk a dog for me,” Lando begs. “I told Chilli I’d take Piñón but I’ve got a thing.”

Oscar imagines his day cast out before him like a sheet over a bed, billowing velvety-luxurious, and dog walking for Carlos Sainz Jr. in the middle of it like a shit stain. “Um. No.”

“Please. Mate, please. He’s in your building. It’ll just be an hour.”

“An hour?”

“Yeah, you’ve got to drive him to Parc Cap Martin. It’s a big walk. C’mon, you owe me.”

“I definitely don’t owe you.” Oscar works hard to not owe people things. It’s better to pay strangers than ask friends for favours.

“Please? Oscar, please.”

This is Oscar’s second mistake: “Yeah, fine.”

He gets the apartment number, code, leash location, and heads over to light the fuse that will fuck his life forever.

The first thing he notices is the scent. That olfactory fingerprint homes get—their particular blend of laundry detergent and cooking oil and shower steam. It’s overly personal and horrible and after getting nostril-blasted by it, Oscar will notice it on Carlos’s clothes until the end of time.

But that calamity is quickly forgotten because Carlos’s dog trots over—merrily clicking toenails, happily wagging tail, evidently accustomed to strangers rocking up—and shakes a tug rope at Oscar. Oscar plays along, taking one end to pull but—

Nope.

Not a tug rope. Ringed base, silicone beads in descending size. It’s an ass toy.

“Mate, wanna put that back where you got it?” Oscar suggests.

Piñón does the opposite of that, thrashing the beads around and lowering his head in a play bow, butt wiggling in the air.

“Okay, well. Just drop it, I guess. We’re not taking it on our walk.”

Piñón drops it, a slobbery catastrophe in the middle of the entryway. But he’s calm in Oscar’s car, then an amenable walking partner, and he even does his business next to a bin. Carlos’s disposable bags have poo chilli pepper emojis on them.

It’s nice. Surprisingly, Piñón makes Oscar less recognisable or less approachable or something. No one tries to talk to him, but it’s not like being alone either. It’s…nice.

Once they're back, Piñón pounces on his pilfered anal beads and takes off with them somewhere. Oscar weighs the likelihood of him biting off a bead and choking to death on it and decides it’s minimal—not worth the humiliation of putting them up in a high place and having Carlos know he knows.

Only that night, he gets a message from Carlos: You were in my apartment? which is a fucking rude way to thank someone for walking your dog.

Yeah, Oscar returns. Lando told you I walked Piñón, yeah?

Carlos sends back, No. Fucking Lando. Then he shares a photo of Oscar’s sunnies he must have forgotten, a nondescript unbranded pair he picked up at a servo. Oscar can’t figure out how the fuck Carlos clocked them as his. He’s wondering what to say and becoming slightly mesmerised by Carlos’s disappearing and reappearing typing bubbles when he finally receives, Did you see the thing.

Fuck. Yeah, sorry. Won’t be weird about it though.

Typing, not typing, typing, not typing, typing, not typing. Ok. 

Oscar debates replying. It doesn’t really need a reply. But he’s compelled to save this train wreck of an interaction. With bad humor, since apparently he’s becoming his mum. I was actually debating telling you to do a check for teethmarks or something so you and your girlfriend don’t get a weird dog butt disease.

Carlos replies immediately: I don’t have a girlfriend. Weird. Then: I mean I do. Then: I did. Weirder. And finally: I did and now don’t. Weirdest. 

Oscar replies, Ok. Then, strangled by the roots of his family tree: So only you will get a weird dog butt disease.

Lots of typing and untyping, to the point that it feels agonisingly intrusive to see Carlos’s indecision play out in real time and Oscar closes the app. It's only when he’s failing to fall sleep that he realises he implied Carlos is doing solo anal beads.

An inferno. Cataclysmic.

Then Carlos texts back, I always inspect my toys.

Unsurvivable.

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/ᐠ. ｡.ᐟ\ ᵐᵉᵒʷˎˊ˗