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fatalcults · 3 months ago

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things left unsaid. 001

featuring. poly! marauders + lily x oc.

summary. meliora had spent the whole of her years at hogwarts alone. with no one to bother her and no drama to drag her day by day she found herself at peace with herself. though she never thought herself to get enamored by the hogwarts golden group towards her last two years, more so expecting them to linger and pry into her quiet solitude pulling her into something far more complicated.

warnings. none.

reayna's note. hey everyone! this is the start of a new series i'm working on. i finally have some time to get back into writing, im still working and in school though so updates might be delayed at times. ill try my best to update biweekly. or at least a 2 chapters per month (if not more.)

Meliora Ackerley didn’t consider herself to be a complex person.

Naturally every being at their core was built in countless layers, intricacies of stories and emotions but if one were to strip her down to the essentials Meliora believed there wouldn’t be much to study.

She always thought that if she were given a role in a book it would be that of a background character, not even the ones that heard and saw all. She didn’t perceive herself as one prone to intrusion in matters that did not concern her.

No, she saw herself as the shadow of a long forgotten page, present but unnoticed. Many might lament about such a role given to them but Mel liked it— adored it, even.

Throughout her six years at Hogwarts, she had become an afterthought to most. Without trying, she slipped beneath the radar of the social network Hogwarts had, which was harder than most thought, given how quickly rumors about others spread.

Initially, her solitude had been mistaken for first year jitters in meeting new people and arriving at a new place but after many painful interactions with her peers she had decided the big social life wasn’t for her.

She couldn’t pinpoint it at first, each hesitant interaction was met with the same quiet, awkward stiffness and soon enough people learned to slip past her in the corridors never lingering much to actually have a conversation with her, not that she blamed them. The conversations were just as difficult for them as it was for her.

Later she just realized, some people were meant to be alone, Not tragically or bitterly, just simply. It sounded sadder than it actually was when she thought about it but not everyone would be adverse to the big groups of friendships and tight knit groups here at school and that was something that never bothered her not even once.

Meliora was independent at heart, she did everything on her own without help and found herself barely ever asking for it. Her muteness was not total, but it was selective in a way that limited her discussions from little to none and only in extreme measures.

So, she couldn’t hide the slight displeasure in her face and churn in her stomach when the Charm’s professor, Flitwick assigned her to write an essay with Lily Evans. It wasn’t as though Meliora had never had been paired with someone before, but most times, they barely paid her any mind, briefly discussing the assignment before working on their separate parts. She hoped the girl would do the same.

Meliora didn’t dislike Evans–how could she? She hardly felt anything other than indifference towards the girl but everyone knew Evans whether they admired or hated her. She was subject of the gossip of envy in half the school’s population.

People like Meliora and Lily occupied entirely different social spheres and that’s why she couldn’t bring herself to be offended when Lily looked around the room seemingly confused after she heard who she was paired with.

After a few hushed whispers with another girl next to her, Dorcas Meadows, Lily’s eyes turned to meet hers, curious and assessing. Mel stared at her for a beat too long before turning away and digging her quill into her parchment.

The class dragged on after that, coming to an end when Flitwick finished droning on about the essay. As class ended, Mel sensed someone behind her. Tensing up, she turned to the side watching as Lily regarded her curiously with a look of apprehension before a smile overtook her face.

“Hi, Meliora, right?” Lily asked, her expression shifting from a look of kindness to a grimace as Meliora assessed her with a calculating unreadable gaze. The effort it took to speak felt like tiny shards of glass in her throat so she settled for an easier path, a singular nod and no response.

“I’m Lily!” Meliora already knew that. “We were assigned the paper together.” Meliora also knew that. Lily was met with no words from Mel as she continued to openly look at her with no efforts to speak.

Sensing the tension as Meliora’s discomfort became more evident, Lily continued, “Would you like to find a place to work? The library, perhaps?”

Mel opened her mouth to reply but the words couldn’t escape her as she felt it clog up in her throat once more as she watched Lily smooth over her skirt. Instead, she offered her a nod again, turning away stiffly.

Lily made a noise, one Mel was sure was frustration before continuing on. “How about tomorrow? After the Quidditch match?” Mel nodded quietly, her heart pounding as she packed her bag before stepping to the side of Lily and walking out the door. She faintly heard Dorcas’ voice as she left, “I think that went splendidly.”

After the painful interaction in class, Meliora sat in the Ravenclaw common room, the evening light casting long blue shadows against the stone walls. She winced to herself, her fingers ghosting over the parchment before her, her own name and Lily’s inked at the top before watching as a figure covered her view.

Standing tall, Alistar Rowley looked down at her. Alistar was an odd person, an enigma of warmth that latched onto her years ago. Even now Meliora could hardly understand why he stuck with her all these years.

She offered him little to no words and barely ever looked like she was listening. Still, he was the closest thing she had to a friend here, and none of her odd behavior ever seemed to deter him.

She supposed it was comforting in a sense, he never seemed annoyed by her lack of speech and she never had to force herself to talk more than she wanted to.

He talked enough for the both of them, going on about anything and everything that came to mind. She became used to his talks even though she didn't quite understand them.

Alistar was charming and charismatic even she knew that, he could befriend anyone he really wanted to but still he never forgot about her, going as far as to leave his big social events and groups to stay with her in the common room or the black lake.

“Why do you look like you have the odd case of the bugger in the belly? You didn’t eat something bad did you?” He asked practically tossing himself at the space next to her. Meliora offered him a look and gestured to the paper in front of her that scribbled her and Lily’s name.

Alistar looked over before a grin curled at his lips, “You got paired with Evans? Not bad..” he said, already offering his attention to the fireplace in front of them. “Evans isn’t too bothersome so it shouldn’t be too torturous.”

Pinching her cheeks, he continues on not taking any offense when she slaps his hand away and sends him a scathing glare. “Don’t worry too much, it will be over in less than 2 weeks.”

Alistar Rowley was a liar.

Meliora sat at the very end of the library table, a deliberate choice that allowed her to flee if things got too overwhelming for her. The action seemed to be one of the only thing grounding her control on the situation and ease her racing thoughts.

The quill in her hand dancing across the parchment as she scribbled words on her paper before Evans arrived. After much thought and hesitation (and some delusion) she convinced herself what's the worst that could happen?.

Famous last words.

The ruckus she was met with was more than she anticipated. From her chair Meliora watched as the doors of the library swung open, earning a glare and sharp inhale from Madam Pince that mumbled words about “rowdy students” and “lack of respect for literature and peace.”

It was easy to identify the bright red hair that followed in, Evans holding her books with a scowl on her face followed by Potter, Black and Lupin who continued their conversation loudly behind her.

Meliora’s grip on her quill tightened. She had prepared herself for Evans not the rest that followed her, for a moment she contemplated leaving but decided against it knowing there was no way for her to exit without Evans seeing her.

It didn't take long for Lily to find her after that smiling at Meliora as she sat down in front of her. The bunch following behind her, James and Sirius still in their quidditch clothes although she thought it to be the loose t-shirts given rather than official gear and Remus wearing a worn brown sweater with his hands tucked in his pocket.

“I hope you don’t mind” She did, severely. “These three are still riding the high from the match and decided it would be best to follow me.” Lily explains putting her books down, ignoring the boys and their noise.

She didn't seem to think much about the stiff interaction from the day before but Meliora couldn't focus on that when she was hyper aware of the way Sirius Black leaned away from the close proximity shared between him and James to sit just as close to Lupin.

She had heard about the relationship the four shared but she never thought much about it. It wasn't uncommon for them to be seen holding hands with one another or displaying clear signs of affection. More so Potter and Black who never shied away from public affection than Evans and Lupin who were a bit more subtle with their actions.

The silence between her and Lily seems to pull the others out of their conversation. James pushing his glasses up in a casual absentminded way as he stared openly at her. “It's nice to meet you, Meliora right?” She contemplated ignoring him to focus on her heart that pounded against her chest but instead nodded once, not helping the silence between all of them.

It stretched long and weighed, Sirius, who had still been lazily leaning against Remus glancing up at her with an assessing gaze in his grey eyes. Remus, for his part, barely spared her a glance flipping absently through one of the books Lily had brought, something she appreciated more than anything.

She didn't know much about them other than what was mentioned in passing by Alistar but she did feel uncomfortable with the way both Sirius and James watched her openly for a reaction. Their gaze on her felt prickly making her pulse pound beneath her skin louder in the silence.

Lily, feeling the tension arise, shifted in her seat before smiling at Meliora who offered her an uncomfortable stare in response. “Shall we get started?”

Another nod.

Remus looked up when he heard no response from her this time but soon looked back down with a furrow of his eyebrow. Mel had hoped the awkwardness would end there.

It did not.

Every few minutes, Sirius, who had a curious gaze on his face, attempted to engage in conversation with her. The questions weren't exactly invasive but still they were left unanswered.

James, ever the enabler, would only egg on the one sided discussion between them and Lily who made no move to stop them, also seemed curious about her reaction to the boy’s questions.

Mel remembered what Alistar had told her in passing once about the group, how Lily, although never fully engaged in the boy's antics often had a cool assessing gaze that picked apart the reactions of others.

It seemed even scarier than the boys’ actions, one could not tell if their was scrutiny under the stare or innocent curiosity on how it would play out. Her green eyes looked darker but ever so sharper when she stared at Mel like this.

Mel offered them no reaction as her head fogged and the ringing in her ears became louder. The most they got from her were nods and small twitches in her hand that showed she heard them. She wasn't stupid, she knew how rude her actions seemed but the words that existed within her seemed to refuse to come out.

It felt like she was back in her first year when people did try to get to know her and in response all she could do was nod at them with a look of panic on her face.

“It's rude to ignore people, you know?” Sirius said abruptly, his tone slightly harsh in a way only he could make get under someone’s skin, it was condescending and blatantly mocking causing everyone to freeze. James shot him a look while Lily openly glared at him.

“Sirius.” Lily said sharply. To which he replied, “What?” as his head rested against his hand in a careless gesture. “We have been talking to her this whole time Lily and she hasn't responded I'm just–” Lily interrupts him again with a fixed cold glare, looking over at Meliora in cautious assessment for a moment.

“Maybe we should go.” James said, slicing through the silence.

Meliora letting out a shaky sigh at his words. She really hoped they did, anything would be better than enduring another awkward moment of this.

Lily for a moment wanted to object to this but after a quick glance at the girl in front of her sighed, grabbing her books and sending a small smile to her before walking away with the rest of the group who had gotten up just as quick to exit the embarrassing interaction.

Mel wished the floors would swallow her whole.

Lily was not a curious person.

She minded her business, hardly stuck her nose where she wasn't wanted, except from when her prefect duties required it and sure as hell didn't go digging for the sake of it. Sure, the crowd she stuck around with whether it be the boys or the girls, were a loud bunch prone to dramatics but she wasn't. She was kind and sociable but she was also measured and careful more than she let off and yet she couldn't help her fixation with Meliora Ackerley.

Meliora Ackerley, who didn't talk to her, who hardly acknowledged her.

Lily didn’t think of it as a pride thing, she could care less about people who outwardly showed distaste towards her or the people who seemed nervous in her presence.

She felt like James in a way, not able to take the hint and leave it alone–drawn to the challenge but she couldn't control herself. The first time she had heard the girl's name she had been utterly clueless, if it wasn't for Dorcas beside her she would have spent the rest of the class trying to figure out who she was.

But then Lily had looked at her for the first time and any other thought in her head had stilled.

Meliora was pretty, Gorgeous, even.

She felt like a creep openly staring at her.

The sleek fall of her black curly hair, the slight furrow in her eyebrows with her full nervously bitten lips soft even when pressed together in what Lily thought was discomfort. And even with the expression displayed she still looked like the prettiest girl in the room.

How had Lily not noticed her before? She liked to think she would have, it's hard to ignore someone that looked like that.

But when Lily approached her she understood why she had never noticed her. Meliora seemed to hide herself, or try to.

She never met someone like Meliora, from their first interaction she thought of Meliora to resemble a panicked newborn kitten, the ones that seemed quick to run with their tail stiff and puffed high behind them. She seemed on the bouts to flee.

That much was obvious and for a quick moment Lily thought she had done something to offend the girl but anyone with any sense of awareness talking to her could see she was just shy.

At least that's what Lily told herself when the girl darted past her without so much as a second glance. It shouldn't have bothered her, she could care less about what the others aside from the girls and her boys thought but it irked her. More than she liked to admit.

The Gryffindor common room was warm, buzzing with the remnants of the post-match excitement and upcoming celebratory party tonight but Lily stomped through the entrance with a gloomy expression that seemed to dim the path.

Without a single word, she flung herself to the couch where Mary, Marlene and Dorcas sat huffing. Behind her, the boys followed at a cautious pace, aware she was ignoring them more so Sirius who had a guilty expression on his face as he watched her.

“I asked what everyone of us thought! Why are you lots mad at me?!” He demanded dropping onto the chair opposite her. “Because it was rude!” Lily snapped, sitting up with a glare. “She already wasn't talking and you made it worse!”

Next to her, Mary ran a hand through Marlene’s hair that rested on her lap murmuring, “That bad?” James, ever the instigator, scoffed, “Worse. The tension was worse than the time Professor Slughorn walked in on Sirius and Remus.”

The two turned a bright shade of red while sending him a glare which James ignored, undeterred. “She didn't say a word. Barely even acknowledged us or Lily. I would say it couldn't get worse than that.”

Sirius shrugged, “Maybe she’s one of those prejudiced purebloods?” Remus shook his head, “Is she even a pureblood? Maybe she just doesn't like us, it's not like we are exactly a closed off group.”

Though they all knew he was talking more about the rumbustious energy of James and Sirius.

They all have a moment of silence that was interrupted with Lily’s loud groan that caused the group to flinch, never once hearing her produce such a noise. “She hates me for sure now.”

Sirius rolled his eyes not understanding what had Lily so worked up. She didn't expect him to, Sirius cared little about others aside from himself and his friends or lovers. It was his biggest flaw and sometimes his biggest strength. “And if she did? You don’t know this girl and it's just for a paper, a lot of people envy you Lily. What else is new?”

Lily didn't offer him a response staring out the window noticing the clouds starting to form. It was true it didn't really matter but still she couldn't help but want to be her friend.

She couldn't help but want to pick the quiet girl apart and find out what made her tick. Laying her head against Remus’ shoulder she continued to stare out the window in silence.

She wondered if Meliora liked the rain as well.

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