father-loutermilch-blog

[father-loutermilch-blog]

He could hear the disdain for children in the other man’s voice, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t agree to some level. Teens were rebellious little assholes, and children under the age of 7...he just didn’t have the patience for. Not one bit.

He’d chosen middle school to young high school aged children because they weren’t yet at that rebellious age, and they were just leveling out as far as energy went. He could hold a conversation with them without wanting to end their lives and still teach them the wonderous ways of the world without being mocked for it.

He wanted to be apart of their lives in a meaningful manner, and guiding them at this age was the best way he could think of. “Children are...difficult sometimes.” He admitted sitting down across from him, crossing one leg over the other. “But this age...you get a first glimpse into everything. Who they get to be, what they’re discovering for themselves. What biology and what God has planned, and I get to...help mold it.” He admitted.

“What did you discover when you were their age?” He asked, beginning to dig a little to learn about his younger companion. “Did you discover your...preference for men? Who helped you realize that women weren’t your preference?” He rested his hands in his lap, eyes peering into his, tone changing a little as he tried to imagine the first time the boy must have had sex.

Surely he was young. A teenager, or maybe younger. Perhaps it was a friend? Or maybe with a sibling? So many men had their first sexual encounters with their brother; children were curious. “We’re they gentle with you?” He asked further.

@father-loutermilch cont.

“Even hungry beasts can be tamed, my friend,” he murmured in return, moving after him without a second thought on it. The quiet office would be a happy change. Empty and windowless, with little to distract from their conversation. Garrett turned his blank stare back onto Loutermilch’s eyes, before walking ahead of him, leading their stride into the room. A hand maps the side wall.

“The strongest souls can be broken… with love, after all.”

Garrett found a place to settle himself and started a soft hum. “It must be hard, walking among these precious little infectious pustules.” Clearly his opinion of children was…less than great. “I never had enough patience for kids…so I have great admiration for teachers.”

[father-loutermilch-blog]

I hope you have a great day and that nothing bad comes to you, mun is amazing. I love you. -opinionateddingus

Thank you @opinionateddingus I hope you have a wonderful day as well! And thank you for supporting me~

[father-loutermilch-blog]

So I’ve had a major debate as of recently. I had a discussion with a friend who has the mindset that if a 15 year old is consensual, they should be allowed to have sex with someone over the age of 18.

Now, normally I allow people to have their opinions, and seeing how I RP someone who actively has sex with young girls (or a young girl), I do not support that mindset at all. So I went into the entire spiel with him on how while it may not be pedophilia if the child is at puberty age (10-11 or so) it is statutory rape and it is WRONG because they are young, afflicted by hormones and considered to not be able to make the right decision, and sex with an adult is the adults blatant flexing of authority, power and judgment over that minor.

He said it was rich coming from someone like me who RP’d as a child rapist.

I may RP as one, but as I’ve mentioned a thousand times, in a thousand ways, that I only do it because it’s a character in fiction already written by someone else. I don’t condone rape. I would write I don’t condone pedophilia but every form of pedophilia is rape.

I’m the kind of person where even if you’re 19 it still feels wrong to me if you’re dating someone in their 30’s, but I keep my mouth shut because you’re both consensual adults and it’s none of my business. And me personally? Being 25, I would never date or have sex with anyone under the age of 23. In a few years that’ll probably go up.

I told him that he’d better watch himself and who he voices that sort of opinion to, because if the wrong person hears it, he’s going to get into big big trouble. And even though we have been very very close friends for years, if I find out he is trying to do anything with a girl under the age of 19 (18 still doesn’t feel right to me) then I will turn him in myself.

I guess the reason for this post is; I am not my character. I will never support what this character does. Even if I find certain things about him attractive (like the fact he’s a priest and I have a priest fetish) and the way he moans (I like moaning) the fact that hurt and killed a young girl will never be ok with me. Ever.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

It indeed did feel like she was asking for attention. He always had the feeling that perhaps she was a little more promiscuous than she should be for a girl her age, but he knew how devilish hormones were. And the thought of all of the boys swarming her...

“Every child’s first time should be with someone who respects them even a little.” He mused, absent minded lay and more loudly than he perhaps should have. When the hand touched his shoulder, he pulled his eyes from the young girl and looked at the man beside him to catch his admission.

He had suspected, but hearing an open admission was odd to him because of where he spent most of his time. “Men are...hungry beasts. Eve may have been the first to take a bite from the apple, but Adam devoured it to the very bite.” He could feel his mouth water.

“Let’s take our discussion to privacy, if you wish.” He smiled, motioning him into an empty, windowless room. It was an old office, retired for detentions until a new teacher could make use of it.

“Hello, Father. I’m a representative from Alsab... subsidiary of the Murkoff Corporation. I’m here to shadow you here at St. Sybil’s...”

@gxtt-im-himmcl

He had been working on grading the students math tests after class when the voice interrupted his train of thought. He looked up confused for a second at the rather attractive young man in the doorway, then gasped gently. “Oh,” he stood and came around his desk, giving the younger man a warm smile, holding his hand out.

“I was unsure if my request had been approved or not. I’ve read into many of the charity works Murkoff has done.” He greeted. “Would you like to sit and speak for a moment? Or, perhaps we could walk?” He offered. “I could use a break from trying to understand how these children got the answers they did. Like squeaking two pickles together and choosing any number that vaguely sounds like the noise it emits.”

[father-loutermilch-blog]

He bit his lip a little as he imagined his first time. It was exactly as the other man had described. Always...speckled with anxiety. But the pay off of when you and your partner finally hit climax.

“Believe it ir not, I too had experienced that. Such...it was a blessing to be able to experience such intimate moments.” He coughed a little, uncomfortably. “I feel honored to be here to...guide these children.”

A young girl looked at them and smiled. She was the tallest of the girls, and while most of them looked similar, he knew exactly who she was by the way her eyebrows raised and she waved.

Jessica Gray has been his...temptation as of late. But he had been strong in his convictions, even as she flirted. There were other girls. There were boys. All of these young adults who began to flourish into blossoms of flirtatious behaviour were all temptations.

“I love my job, I do.” He looked at the man, holding his necklace tight in his hands. “But I am interested in doing more. Perhaps...touching people in other ways?” He looked at the younger man.

“Hello, Father. I’m a representative from Alsab... subsidiary of the Murkoff Corporation. I’m here to shadow you here at St. Sybil’s...”

@gxtt-im-himmcl

He had been working on grading the students math tests after class when the voice interrupted his train of thought. He looked up confused for a second at the rather attractive young man in the doorway, then gasped gently. “Oh,” he stood and came around his desk, giving the younger man a warm smile, holding his hand out.

“I was unsure if my request had been approved or not. I’ve read into many of the charity works Murkoff has done.” He greeted. “Would you like to sit and speak for a moment? Or, perhaps we could walk?” He offered. “I could use a break from trying to understand how these children got the answers they did. Like squeaking two pickles together and choosing any number that vaguely sounds like the noise it emits.”

[father-loutermilch-blog]

The man was attractive. That was what he noticed first, but there was a certain darkness inside of his eyes that the father could see, and in return, made him want to help.

Damian had always been a good priest. He was loving and eager to help as well as good at reading people. He would do anything to help if it was in his power.

Too full of love; that was what people said about him. He cared too much, but to him, there was no such thing as caring too much. There was no way a single person could love or care for another person too much.

“So many who had been students don’t remember their schools fondly.” He replied, giving him a find, warm smile as he held his hand up. Not quite touching him, he began to lead him from the room back out into the hall. “From how it sounds, I take it your time at your school wasn’t that good?” He offered a sympathetic smile.

“I believe the problem is that in schools such as this, we spend so much time teaching children that God is the only way. We don’t teach them that science and Christianity can co-exist. So they spend hours upon hours listening to the same dry, cut and paste biblical passages that are read to them every year.” He stopped in front of a section of art projects, looking at the youth as he spoke. “This year they’re getting their sex ed classes, I look forward to experiencing such a...thrilling journey with them.”

“Hello, Father. I’m a representative from Alsab... subsidiary of the Murkoff Corporation. I’m here to shadow you here at St. Sybil’s...”

@gxtt-im-himmcl

He had been working on grading the students math tests after class when the voice interrupted his train of thought. He looked up confused for a second at the rather attractive young man in the doorway, then gasped gently. “Oh,” he stood and came around his desk, giving the younger man a warm smile, holding his hand out.

“I was unsure if my request had been approved or not. I’ve read into many of the charity works Murkoff has done.” He greeted. “Would you like to sit and speak for a moment? Or, perhaps we could walk?” He offered. “I could use a break from trying to understand how these children got the answers they did. Like squeaking two pickles together and choosing any number that vaguely sounds like the noise it emits.”

[father-loutermilch-blog]

In all honesty, I mainly RP him because it’s a coping mechanism. I have a difficult time differentiating realism from fiction.

When someone who has done things wrong like he has -I was molested as a child by friends, family members, neighbors- they’re described as ‘Monsters’. That descriptor gives me a lot of anxiety.

I originally created him to flesh out a past history using what I learned during my psychology courses to figure something must have happened in his past to make him do something so atrocious as this. Creating a history that seems “plausible” he’s no longer this imposing force. He’s no longer a monster that I don’t know the weaknesses to.

Controlling him and dampening his bad attributes no longer reminds me of when I was the victim. He’s no longer a “Monster” I have no control over. I’m no longer in danger. My anxiety about this character goes down because now I’m in control.

He’s a coping mechanism I had to create to beat the game.

This will probably sound like an excuse to you, but this has worked for me so far. You’re free to block me

why tf do you rp as this piece of garbage

Do you also ask Papa Knoth RPers the same question? Because I think you should because he is also a child rapist, only difference is is he didn’t stop at one little girl. He raped a whole mess of women and little girls, and killed their babies.

Only reason we tend to overlook that is because we didn’t have a whole dedicated section of the game spelling it out for us now did we.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

“Hello, Father. I’m a representative from Alsab... subsidiary of the Murkoff Corporation. I’m here to shadow you here at St. Sybil’s...”

@gxtt-im-himmcl

He had been working on grading the students math tests after class when the voice interrupted his train of thought. He looked up confused for a second at the rather attractive young man in the doorway, then gasped gently. “Oh,” he stood and came around his desk, giving the younger man a warm smile, holding his hand out.

“I was unsure if my request had been approved or not. I’ve read into many of the charity works Murkoff has done.” He greeted. “Would you like to sit and speak for a moment? Or, perhaps we could walk?” He offered. “I could use a break from trying to understand how these children got the answers they did. Like squeaking two pickles together and choosing any number that vaguely sounds like the noise it emits.”

[father-loutermilch-blog]

I have returned

And I have come back to a mix of responses; both angry (as was expected) and supportive. But there have been people who have tagged me in hate saying that I’m a ‘monster’ or ‘pedophile’.

Never once did I mention I condoned my characters behaviors. I don’t. If I met anyone like him in real life I would gladly go to prison for ending the s.o.b’s life for being a sick piece of shit.

They’ve taken my profile where I mentioned that I have ‘no triggers so rape, underage, murder, gore etc is all fair game’ and translated it to mean ‘I love raping and murdering children.’ As someone who has written novels, taken psychology classes and criminology courses, I find the mind of criminals as fascinating as I do disgusting.

Learning what they’ve done wrong, then digging deep into potential past history based on what evidence I have been given via traits, behaviors and other things is almost therapeutic for me.

When I was growing up, I was molested quiet a few times. By friends, by neighbors, by family members. I was always told that they were monsters, and all that did was give me so much anxiety I was unable to leave my house for three years. I had paid people to deliver groceries to my front door.

I’ve begun, instead, trying to figure out who these people were. What kind of past they had, the possibility of trauma that affected them in their life to make them do the things they did. Why? Because when I began to identify what happened to them and the bad things that made them how they were, they were no longer monsters. They were people. I stood a chance against people where as I was powerless against monsters.

Studying these people who hurt me turned them from monsters to people, and suddenly, they weren’t difficult to face. I knew what could stop them, I knew they would die and that they were just fucked up. It’s become a coping mechanism.

People like Father Loutermilch, Eddie Gluskin, Sullivan Knoth were all people and something bad happened to them. All of them. They hurt people, but to keep from being really affected by it, I flesh out their past. I create a past for them that potentially explains why they are the way they are so they no longer seem like a monster I cannot defeat. Instead, they’re just humans who have made horrible choices and have hurt people.

By exposing myself in controlled situations such as RPing, RPing the mind of someone who shares the mind of people who have hurt me in the past, I begin to cope with it and move on even if I don’t forgive them.

Here in my domain, I am in control. I am turning monsters into men. I want to understand these people who must have been hurt too, without eliminating the fact they have made these terrible decisions and hurt others.

Don’t romanticize a problematic person. Don’t give them more power than you have.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

We’re apart of a fandom that includes rapists, murderers, blasphemers, people who abuse and assault the mentally impaired, the exploitation of criminally insane or mentally ill, physically disfigured etc.

Our villains are rapists and murderers and cannibals and are just flat out cruel.

To choose a character who takes no part in any of that would leave you with just the protagonists. To choose to RP with characters who would just murder someone leaves you with RPing with the Twins, Chris Walker, Marta and maybe a select others.

Eddie mutilates and rapes people.

Papa Knoth torments, rapes and kills the offspring

Jeremy Blaire was not above potentially raping and hurting Waylon’s wife.

The world is full of shit horrible people. These games are filled with shit horrible people. And yes, Loutermilch is exactly that. He’s a monster. He’s a devil and a demon and a horrible, disgusting human being I don’t deny that.

The difference is we got to see Knoth’s horrible actions. We got to see Jeremy’s horrible actions. We got to see Eddie’s horrible actions and read it. First hand. Boom, right in front of us.

We didn’t get to see anything of Loutermilch except a fuzzy fever dream brought back as a twisted memory prompted by the morphogenic engine of something Blake witnessed as a little boy. Loutermilch could be the demon he was shown as in game, or he could be the more innocent of the antagonists listed.

In this game, Blake is a very unreliable narrator.

I suppose my answer as to why I chose Loutermilch is that we know nothing about him. There are thousands of possibilities as to what the truth is behind Father Loutermilch. And to be honest, there are much worse characters in this game that I could have chosen to play.

If they had shown Eddie sawing people up and fucking his seed into them to make a family, I’m sure there’d be more people against him.

Same with Knoth.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

I hope you die painful death you disgusting pedophilie

Go with God my child.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

why tf do you rp as this piece of garbage

Do you also ask Papa Knoth RPers the same question? Because I think you should because he is also a child rapist, only difference is is he didn’t stop at one little girl. He raped a whole mess of women and little girls, and killed their babies. Only reason we tend to overlook that is because we didn’t have a whole dedicated section of the game spelling it out for us now did we.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

[father-loutermilch-blog]

Status update:

So reason behind my absence: About a month ago a friend was dumped off on my doorstep and he had nowhere to go. Now this friend is a horrible friend but I have way too much sympathy to leave someone homeless. So he moved in and since then he's been in our personal space starting shit between my roommate and I. We normally keep soda in the house because my roommate drinks it a lot and needs his caffeine. We bought 4 cubes (more than 40 in a container) to last all three of us about 3-4 months and "Spako" -what I'm calling this s.o.b. for this- sucks through 2 of the cubes of soda in a week. That was 80 cans of Mountain Dew and Pepsi in a week. Also, I got kittens. Which he mistreats way too often. He doesn't clean, he dirties up my dishes and he doesn't flush the toilet -or wipe his ass- when he's done shitting. He cooked once and instead of removing my crockpot from the stove top, he melted the cord off. The crockpot was 70$. I tried to keep him secret from our landlord but that failed when the idiot opened the door to answer it -something we told him NOT to do. Our landlord is now threatening to evict us if we don't get him out by the 2nd. He hasn't done squat to get a job and he's not doing anything to help us but make our electricity skyrocket because he never shuts our game systems off or the TV. Ontop of that, I'm the only person with a job and I now have 2 jobs. So its between trying to take care of my shit and the house without getting evicted. That is where I am at right now. That is where I've been for a month.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

Oh boy, so I have quite a bit to fill everyone in on. I'll be back more probably starting tomorrow.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

Father I have to ask, between Blake and Lynn whom do you prefer to do the sinful deed with and why?

I feel that women, young girls are...precious. Boys are the most likely to become monsters and women only end up monsters when molded by the hands of their fathers. They're treated unfairly, look at Adam's first wife, banished from Eden and punished for simply refusing to lay beneath him. She refused to be less, and so God sent her away and cursed her. He made Eve to bow beneath Adam and took away their knowledge. Women are innocent, and weak spirited. Easily hurt and manipulated. And as such, they are the most...punshiable. So, Blake. He's as much a sheep, lacking the bite of his fellow wolves. Bred and preened to be weak for his friendship of Lynn and Jessica. He's just as eager to learn, more eager to please without any risky side effects. No future spawn from receiving the holy light into his body.

[father-loutermilch-blog]

Sorry for the sudden hiatus. I just started a second job and that's been hard adjusting too. I'll have replies dine soon though!