feltcaverns

[feltcaverns]

Save the date for:

The Smuppet Show

November 9, 2024, 5pm PST (Link to convert to your timezone)

Join us for the YouTube premiere of a Homestuck-fanfic-turned-barbie-doll-movie featuring DirkJake drama, fourth-wall-breaking shenanigans, and tiny singing puppets!

[feltcaverns]

that muppet post reminded me, most if not all of the main muppets have twitter pages. Fav has gotta be Miss Piggys, which is filled with selfies and vaguely uplifting text thats also egocentric. all the comments are people complimenting her and being like “YAS QUEEN”

Close second is Gonzos. Which is just…unhinged

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Here's a dirty filthy screen from a gif that @the-muppet-joker will surely love.

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I look up at my Creator.

What am I?

Man or Woman?

He reaches into my chest and

I hear the snapping of bone

"Man," he says

Tearing the rib from my chest

But the screaming air

Being sucked from my lungs

Rings at a pitch too high for Gods to hear

And only those being held up by strings

Can hear my birdsong cries

And only those with stitched together skin

Can feel my itching pain

Of an ill fitting body

Constucted by One who does not know me

Womanhood ripped from my chest

Manhood draped over my shoulders

Like the skin of a dead animal

"Fuck you, God"

I rasp, and the snake if Eden bites my throat

"I will be a muppet instead."

[feltcaverns]

this happened to me once

Yes Andrew Hussie Go Arm Deep Into That Muppet Hole

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it’s like the one human in a cast of muppets dynamic

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REMEMBER! A PUPPET HAS TWO ENDS!!! GET A FRIEND IN ON THAT ACTION, TO SHOW THEM YOU CARE!

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it was real to me

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Karkat you "Silly Goose." You really fucked the dog on this one.

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is it true that you fuck plushies

Is it true that the sun continues to rise over our beautiful earth every morning

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:)

i am so happy you are back.

I couldn't stay away. Homestuck is taking over my mind like a curse. The curse of Vriska. Seeing her standing alone in the snow made me cry, just a little, and in a solemn and poetic way rather than "like a little bitch." She just wanted to be understood.

[feltcaverns]

what do you mean by a cutoff point for the brotherhood?

rage is the aspect that cuts.

rage is the aspect of, like, jokerfication. it's a violent, passionate reaction. it's associated with clowns and theater -- but it's mostly just the aspect of bullshit.

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wouldnt you like to

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wouldnt you like to

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wouldnt you like to

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But seriously, none of you people fucking get it.

There are rules to this shit. Okay? And if you're not intuiting them, you're not doing this right.

Fuck, it shouldn't be necessary at all for me to do this. But you keep fucking up like this in front of me, the least I can do is tell you some goddamn basics.

Number one. Don't fucking try and overshadow the main man. This ain't your rodeo, it's his. If you try and jump off your horse so you can impress the crowd, you're gonna just end up eating shit. Stay in line.

Number two. If they didn't sign up for this, don't fucking target them. Should be obvious, but for some of you, it doesn't look like it is. Don't post about muppet drugs in the replies of normal fucking people.

Number three. If he says jump, do not ask how high. Just fucking jump. Have any of you even been in a cult before? Don't answer. I don't want to fucking know. The brotherhood is an embarrassment in its current state. You people need organization and a cutoff point, but that's a whole separate issue.

Number four. Lurk moar. I'm 100% serious. Know your fucking lore, kiddos. If you don't know my name, and it ain't fucking Elegy, then are you really in the right place? Read a webcomic and come back later.

Number five. This is war.

What, you think I'm joking?

Every fucking day we'd wake up and figure out new ways to make him question our sanity. We'd create events spontaneously. We'd organize shit to surprise him. Entire arcs. And you know how much contact we had with the enemy directly?

Nearly fucking nil.

You people need to shape the fuck up, study your fucking history, or don't bother participating at all.