fertile-delirium-blog - Tumblr blog

[fertile-delirium-blog]

I dont wanna be alive.

self destructive behaviours, everything that means anything to me... fuck playing with my head and my heart. i just wanna die... 

im not a person i swear, im just mentally ill. obviously not made for love. im sorry i gotta beat this or i fear of doing something stupid....

im so sorry...

iI swear my hearts intentions are pure and good... I just wanted to love... YOU. Fuck.... 

I dont wanna be here anymore... ive felt something snapo inside me once again im here... hello my old friend.

[fertile-delirium-blog]

[fertile-delirium-blog]

Dear red wine,

Oh I love you thank you for being my friend in need right now x

[fertile-delirium-blog]

[fertile-delirium-blog]

[fertile-delirium-blog]

At least I know how you truly feel. God I love you through it all woman.

I hate her. I fkn hate her. She ruined me. Now I wish her pain.. like I’m suffering through. Just gotta wit till kids are gone. Fuck her. Fucking demon.

[fertile-delirium-blog]

[fertile-delirium-blog]

This is one of the most painful things

I’m gonna delete every photo we ever had

[fertile-delirium-blog]

June was always my major depressive month but looks like july will now be added. The day I neglected, got locked out, talked to like shit because of my frustrations to my depressed love. She hates being called me girlfriend she said she'd rather be dead.. yet she was cuddling me last night.. I want to die.. ive lost it all cos of my own struggle to control emotions.. im too sick. Why did I think I could go back n talk n be part of ppl I loves lives.. im gonna kill myself just gotta figure what to do with my stuff cant leave it for my housemates to deal with, they dont need it. Might throw everything in bim but part of me thinks ppl I love will want some of it but then again am I just delusional again? .. Lord please take my life n give any strength or life left in me to ppl I love n are struggling pls. I cant do or be here alone anymore

[fertile-delirium-blog]

It could have all been drama n stress free.. but then theres her..

[fertile-delirium-blog]

Just because someone’s not loving you in the ways that you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you

sandralidell  // Running For Trains (via wnq-writers)

!!!!!!!

(via fertile-delirium)

[fertile-delirium-blog]

[fertile-delirium-blog]

All I do is fuck up.

Now she's in pain.. I dont deserve to be alive.

[fertile-delirium-blog]

Please.

[fertile-delirium-blog]

You weren’t ready to love, and I wasn’t ready to be hurt.

lipstaen (via wnq-writers)

[fertile-delirium-blog]

[fertile-delirium-blog]

I don’t need someone to need me; I want someone to want me. I want to be a choice not a necessity.

theformerlatter (via wnq-writers)