fieldofdahlias - Tumblr blog

[fieldofdahlias]

I didn't need this today

I saw your indifference, your disguised disgust to affection and thought to myself,

"Ah. I want to make you mine. I want to love you to death."

You hardly held a chance against my enthusiasm in barging into every aspect of your life and taking over your thoughts.

And it was so easy. Too easy, even.

For all your stiffness to love, when I held you, you would be so compliant in my arms like putty as I pressed and sculpted my obsessed adoration into you. You were so soft for me. I thought I had you.

What I didn't forsee was that shattered core part of you that reared itself when you finally let go. And you did let go. Of me.

So much for thinking I could love my way into healing you, huh?

[fieldofdahlias]

Staying until you hate them only hurts you more. Why would you ever wanna hate someone you use to love so much?

“When it’s over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower.”

— Unknown

[fieldofdahlias]

“Please stop destroying what is left of your heart by constantly thinking about things that have broken you.”

— Unknown

[fieldofdahlias]

Something in me wants more. I can't rest.

— Sylvia Plath, from “The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath.”

[fieldofdahlias]

“Progress is different for everyone so don’t make comparisons, just focus on your path.”

— Unknown

[fieldofdahlias]

I think I was just born with something dark and ugly inside of me. Always waiting to be found out.

planetarium - adrienne rich/@twoheadedfawnn/ugly, bitter, and true - suzanne rivecca/a burning hill - mitski/a hora da estrela- clarice lispector/ @100493503004422/sharp objects - gillian flynn

[fieldofdahlias]

I've forgotten the sound of your voice... I know if I hear it I can recognize it, but I can no longer hear it in my head.

I don't know how I feel about that...

[fieldofdahlias]

If you don’t accept me at my worst I make sure you won’t ever see the best of me.

k.b. // u never deserved my best in the first place

[fieldofdahlias]

I am ravenous for the taste of your skin against mine. For your hands in my hair and mine on your waist. I long to drown in the sea of your love, to be filled with the warmth of your touch ... I am so deprived of contact from another that at every waking second, all I can think about is you.

[Kas]

[fieldofdahlias]

My side of the story doesn't matter anymore. Life happened, I healed, but most importantly I learned who deserves a seat at my table and who will never sit at it again.

[fieldofdahlias]

Sara Teasdale, from The Collected Poems of Sara Teasdale; "Song,"

[fieldofdahlias]

Frida Kahlo, from a letter written in 1934, featured in "The Letters of Frida Kahlo,"

[fieldofdahlias]

[fieldofdahlias]

It's strange...

I would wake up and there you were. Still sleeping, breathing ever so peacefully in those rare moments sleep would find you.

I would trace my finger down each letter of the tattoo on your spine, each line of the ones on your back. I would kiss each and every part of exposed skin that I could.

Starting my mornings with you always brought me joy.

I would shower with you, we would always argue about the temperature of the water until I eventually gave in to the one you preferred.

I would wash your hair, making sure to massage your scalp just the way you liked. I would steal a kiss from your wet lips and giggle every time.

I would wash every inch of your body, even though you'd protest and tell me you could do it yourself. I don't think you ever realized how much I enjoyed doing it, taking care of you.

Some of my most peaceful moments were in that shower with you.

I would close the blinds, turn the air down because we loved sleeping in a cold room. Turn the lights off and get under the covers.

We'd talk for a while, enjoying the peace of each others company. Then you'd wrap your arms around me, I always loved the feel of your heart beat. And then sleep would take me, where even in my dreams I always found you.

It's strange though... how now I sleep in an empty bed. With only the sound of the world outside my windows, instead of your breathing. Now I shower alone, with whatever temperature water I want.

Now my day's feel so lonely. I had grown so used to our routines. I had grown accustomed to you in every aspect of my everyday life. Now that you're gone? Everything feels so strange...

- dahlia

[fieldofdahlias]

“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth.”

— Zoe Skylar

[fieldofdahlias]

“Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.”

— Mandy Hale

[fieldofdahlias]