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someone get copia a weighted blanket before he genuinely has a nervous breakdown pls

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bobby is gonna be so mad athena sold their house when he gets back from the government facility

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oh moment number 12087930274213 has hit the towers

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im just. not a single storyline this season had satisfying conclusion. not the texas arc for eddie. not bathena rebuilding the house. not bobby dying. not madney expecting a second child. not henren adopting mara. not chris returning home. not whatever the fuck was buck’s storyline this season. nothing that happened matters. so much was done either offscreen or in a rushed montage at the very end of the episode. why. just why.

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can we get that episode in spanish maybe we missed something

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"that means you got a lil' thing going on" i am gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure

Oliver Stark and Ryan Guzman Read Thirst Tweets

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DADDY LONG DICK JUST LANDED IN LA BABY

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this hit me like a truck

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Gender is not real at the Ministry but horror movie monster archetypes definitely are.

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Stupid idea me and my friend had

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Frater Imperator HC

(he hates Perpetua's album)

Peacefield

"Alright, Aether, I'm going to listen to this hyped up shit!"

"Alrighty, what's this first one? Peacefield? Sounds dreadful already."

*choir starts* "wait, i recognise that voice. IS THAT SALEM JR? WHAT A LITTLE SNAKE! I GAVE HIM RAVIOLI ON HIS 10TH BIRTHDAY AND THIS IS HOW HE REPAYS ME? BY SINGING ON MY BROTHER'S SHITTY ALBUM?"

"It is his job, C. He is the clergy choir's best soprano."

"I DO NOT CARE AETHER! WHY HAS THE WHOLE JUNIOR CHOIR STABBED ME IN THE BACK??"

"It is literally their job. I don't know what to tell you, Papa . . ."

*first verse starts* "'its not over yet'? What a shame, my ears are bleeding already. 'this is what dreams are made of'? more like nightmares! amiright Aeth? Hehehe!

*chorus* "'a black moon over the peacefield'? Aether! He copied my song! This is a blatant forgery of Hunter's Moon! He just changed the type of moon! See, he can't even write an original song!"

"Papa, it's not theft just because he mentioned a moon? Primo sang, 'a moon shone bright above her trial' in Stand By Him, and Secondo sang, 'the moon is full and shines an evil, blinding light' so they could say you copied them!"

"Whose side are you on, Aether?"

"The guitar solo's good, I guess."

"And the keyboard solo."

"Basically, any part where that fucking V isn't singing is good."

"Ah, finally! The outro! Almost done, thank the dark lord!"

"Bit repetitive hey, Aeth?"

"Quite catchy though, Papa?"

"Whose side are you on, Aether? Seriously?"

Lachryma

"Hmmm, the intro is okay. I guess."

"'like a vampire should ' you know he's not a vampire, right? He's just some poser who thinks he's a Dracula! Unbelievable.

"Copia, do you not also remember your vampire phase during Prequelle?"

"Whose side are you on? I was a better vampire anyway."

"'i can never run and i cannot hide' i wish he would run and hide so i didn't have to see his face again. Hmmph."

"'im done crying' what a whiny loser! I can't stand this guy, how do the fans even like him? All he does is complain!"

"'over someone like you' ME? OH HE SO WROTE THIS ABOUT ME! AETHER CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?? GET OVER YOURSELF."

"I don't think he wrote about you in particular, C . . ."

"He definitely did, who else could it possibly about? It's not like he has any friends or anything."

"'im done!' Thank Satan, it's finally over! 2 down, 8 more to go. Lord give me strength."

Satanized

"' There's something inside me' hehe yea right! That loser's never had anything inside of him! The V in his name stands for virgin!"

"I don't think that's what he means, C"

"Who's side are you on, Aether."

"'I should have known not to give in' he should have known not to release this shitty album!

"'Im satanized!' I'm getting a headache, never mind getting satanized!"

"You have to admit, it's a pretty good song though!"

"It's alright. Obviously, if I sang it, it would sound heaps better but I guess it's fine."

"Wait a minute. IS THAT CORINTHIANS 6:19?? WHY WOULD HE PUT SUCH WORDS INTO A SONG ABOUT OUR DARK MASTER? WHO LET HIM RELEASE THIS SONG? IT HURTS! IT'S BURNING MY EARS!"

"I can't believe this guy! How have the siblings of sin been singing this song all week when it has such heinous lyrics!"

"'I have begged God for the remedy' there's no way this guy is a true Emeritus! Why is he singing about our Dark Lord's enemy?"

"You do realise he's not singing in first person, right? He's singing from the perspective of the monk in the music video? You did know that right?"

"Seriously, whose side are you on Aether?"

Guiding Lights

"Ah, so this is meant to be the one to make me cry, huh? Well, not a single tear shall fall my eye, Aether! Not a single one!"

"Oh yeah, of course, couldn't make me cry either!" *already wiping a tear from his eye*

"Who even likes sad songs away? I never wrote any, and that why people love me! I'm always happy, me!"

"Life Eternal? Darkness At The Heart Of My Love? Some could even argue the end of Respite On The Spitalfields is sad at the end. . ."

"What even are these lyrics? 'the road that leads to nowhere is long'? How creative!"

"The guitar solo is pretty good, I'll give him that. It's only because Dew's playing it. Even if V wrote it, i dont care."

De Profundis Borealis

"Damn this ones good, eh C?"

"It's okay, I guess. Would you stop tapping your foot? You're getting too into it, it's not that good!"

"You have to admit, it is quite catchy!"

"Seriously, Aether? Whose side are you on??"

"'And a glow within you dies' I wish the glow inside him would die so he'd step down and i could be frontman again."

"Is Mountain not exhausted? This sounds really repetitive for him? Someone needs to write my poor ghouls some better parts."

"Mount told me he had a whale of a time recording this one. The whole pack really like this one apparently!"

"Oh great! So they're all turning their back on me, huh?"

"It is quite fun to play."

"You've learned it already? Traitor!"

"Phantom gave me the tabs! I couldn't help but learn it!"

"Ugh, finally, we're at the end. Wait. IS THAT THE SENIOR CHOIR?? WHY HAS HE TAKEN BOTH THE JUNIOR AND SENIOR CHOIR FROM ME?? WHAT'S NEXT?? THE GHOUL CHOIR??"

"You do realise that the choirs are legally obligated to perform on an album if asked, they don't just sing at mass, C"

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!"

Cenotaph

"It's very jovial for a sad song, huh?"

"Just be quiet, Copia."

(*Copia and Aether sit and cry quietly to this, processing their own grief*)

Missilia Amori

"Ooh, this one will cheer you up, C!"

"I wasn't crying! I just had some dust, um hayfever. It's hayfever season isn't it? Some pollen just made my eyes itch, y'know?"

"'So you want out now, don't you, love?' Damn, so dramatic."

"Someone's obviously broken his heart . . ."

"Hehe what a loser, can't even hold down a relationship!"

"It's a good breakup song though, don't you think?"

"hmm I guess. Damn! I should have written a breakup song!"

"It's a bit late for that now, C"

"Don't remind me, Aeth!!"

"'excite me with your demise' ha yeah! That's what I'm saying! When can we get rid of this loser, eh?"

"'a man of faith is hard to find' well if he wants a good Satanist boyfriend he has the whole of the ministry to pick from . . ."

"C, i dont think thats what he meant. Also, he can't even get in the door."

"I may have locked him out on purpose. . ."

"'you showed me yours, I'll show you mine' what a pervert! Unbelievable, who even is this guy! He's only been on tour for less than a week and he's already too big for his stupid little boots!"

Marks Of The Evil One

"'Rides a steed, white' HES TALKING ABOUT MY HORSE, DEATH! I swear to Satan, if he's taken him on tour or for a stupid music video I'm going to go insane!"

"Death is still in his stable, I literally saw Cumulus sat with him this morning. Also, I think he's talking about the four horsemen, so the first one is Conquest, right?"

"'The fourth rider is Death, rides a steed, pale' well at least my horse got a mention.

"'the marks are spreading everywhere!' eww sounds like he's got a type of a disease. . . what a loser!

"I quite like this one actually, C!"

"Seriously, Aether! Whose side are you on??"

*singing along* "there! there! disciples of the evil one!"

"Okay! okay! It's not THAT good!"

"The guitar solos pretty good . . . again."

"V's pretty good at writing guitar solos, eh?"

"yeah well I could do better but, y'know, it's not bad for a beginner, I guess . . ."

"I like his voice in this one, it's a really catchy song, don't you think?"

"He sounds like a cat with the flu to me but sure . . ."

Umbra

"Ooh this one's gonna be good! I've heard people say it's the next Mummy Dust!"

"hmmm its okay . . . IS THAT A COWBELL?? IS COWBELL GHOUL BACK?"

"Yeah he came back from Scotland to play for the recording. Did you not see him around the other week?"

"Oh so not only is this fucking V taking my ghouls, my choir, my fans, my clothes, my songs, he's taking Terzo's ghoul too!! Next he'll want my rats! Unbelievable!!"

"'I put my love in you' ugh what a slut!"

"Shouldn't you be happy about that, Cardi? He is promoting lust to the masses?"

"Well yes but I hate it!"

"You can't hate something just because you're brother made it!"

"Yes I can! And I will!"

"Damn Cirrus and Dew going wild! At least the ghouls sound good! Can't say the same for fucking V!"

"There's so much cowbell!"

"I know! Isn't it awesome?!"

"Alright, alright, Aether. Just remember whose side you're on."

"this one's going on the gay sex playlist."

"What?"

"nothing."

Excelsis

"'it is the end' THANK THE LORD!

'"its the end of your sadness and pain' well it will be when this song's finally finished"

"'everybody leaves one day' Copia, just sit and listen to this one. I think you need to hear it."

*Copia silently cries through the rest of the song*

"'I am afraid of eternity, too.' You alright, C?"

"ahuh, hyeah. yup. just a little dust in my eye. damn hayfever again. *sniff*

"what do you rate the album out of 10?"

"3. It was shit."

"You cried twice!"

"Okay 6/10. And I didn't cry! I have allergies!"

"Sure."

"My albums were better though, right?"

"Sure, Copia."

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Holy trinity

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i think this album is Like That bc tobias is just genuinely having fun with it and im SOOOO glad for it. this is fan service and hes the fan being serviced. keep it up bestie

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Copia finishing his first album with "If you had life eternal" and Perpetua finishing his with "I am afraid of eternity, too" has me frothing from my mouth. it hits me so hard right in the existential anxiety part of my brain that i'm doing backflips right now

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.ᐟ skeletour spoilers .ᐟ (kinda)

unpopular opinion: it saddens me to see swiss's platform empty. like, idgaf about jt, he didn't deserve to be on stage for many reasons BUT i love the ghouls (the masked characters!!!!) i got into ghost bcs of them and it breaks my heart every time one of them leaves :/

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