firekitten830

[firekitten830]

trips and a comical amount of hoffstrahm falls out of my pockets

[reblogs appreciated!!]

[firekitten830]

Hoffstrahm + text posts

[firekitten830]

The worst thing I ever did at a D&D table was when our DM ran out of place name ideas and told us the name of the port town we needed to go to was "Bar Harbor".

So I tricked him into roleplaying the slightly-too-helpful town guard into giving us directions to- Well you see, the party has been out in the wilderness for like a MONTH, we're all a mess, the dwarf's beard is out of control, so can you tell us- Where can we find the Bar Harbor Barber?

But we were not done. We each took turns, like a pack of velociraptors.

We also had Dryad in the party and a few of her branches got broken in a fight and now her whole canopy is unbalanced and it looks awful, but she really needs to see a specialist, is there a Bar Harbor Arbor Barber?

The Paladin also wanted to look in on a small church he'd heard of, that the city had a patron saint, who was boiled alive in a cauldron of ale, so where is the temple of the Bar Harbor Larger Martyr?

It was around this point that Chris started to tire of this nonsense.

The bard, naturally, wanted to go carousing, and he'd heard this town had some of the most attentive and welcoming Ladies of the Night on the continent, known by thier brightly colored stocking bands, so had he seen any of the Bar harbor Ardor Parlor Farber Garters?

Chris immediately escalated to threats of a Total Party Kill.

Unfortunately, I'd had time to prepare and-

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know if you'd seen my cousin."

"...Your cousin?"

"Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but he's got a pretty distinctive appearence and you might have seen him around town."

"Oh No-"

"Okay so he's Welsh and the whole family used to be in the wagon-making business but he got into clothes manufacture until there was an accident with a lamp black dye and now he's permanently stained a sooty color and that really turns heads, so now he's got a job drawing in crowds for the city funded swap meet- no, not the Drow that also works there, I mean like the inside of a fireplace- anyway, he got tired of people mixing the two of them up so he started wearing this fancy armor with a magical +1 charisma bonus-"

"Gallus I swear to God I *WILL* Summon the Tarraqsue-"

"-So have you seen my cousin, Arthur Carter, former Sartor but now he's the Darker Harker for the Charter Barter of Bar Harbor, the one with the Charmer Armor?"

Amazingly, we survived the Tarrasque.

[firekitten830]

i just beefed with someone online and I got tired of it so I said "I ate some really good blueberries today" and they replied "I had a fire ass peach today". world peace

[firekitten830]

cracking myself up thinking about the movement towards simplified forms in cave paintings

[firekitten830]

a gentle reminder

[firekitten830]

Cats getting caught doing crimes

[firekitten830]

there is something so crazy and powerful about having art of your oc that was made by anyone other than yourself. like oh my god you actually exist outside of my own brain that's WILD

[firekitten830]

[firekitten830]

what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

[firekitten830]

You are not falling behind. If you haven't touched your WIP in weeks, if you haven't come up with a new idea, if you haven't gotten your book done and it's been 3 years, it's okay. You are not falling behind. Unless we are obligated to reach a deadline, we begin to believe that we are failing. We see countless people finishing their projects, selling their books, succeeding in the field you're in. And it's hard not to compare yourself to them, you're similar but they are doing the work, and you haven't written a paragraph in over a month.

Comparing yourself to others is a downward spiral that will never give you satisfaction. It's a difficult thing to try and overcome or ignore, but you have to. Instead of seeing other people's victories as a failure on your side, try and see them as goals. Goals to reach, inspiration to get back to your WIP, write that paragraph, or finally try and finish that book.

There is no secret that they know, and you don't. They aren't worse or better than you. There is no right answer. No finish line you need to cross. You work at your own pace, create goals to strive to and try not to compare your progress to others. Enjoy the process!

[firekitten830]

actually no its not just that because as far as i can tell a lot of people really like these movies. its just that movie critics are so brain poisoned that they cant let themselves just have fun with something

you know i think the reason why the saw franchise is so critically panned is because people who review movies are just not capable of realizing that these movies are not for them. the saw franchise is for freak queers only

[firekitten830]

im losing my mind

[firekitten830]

you know i think the reason why the saw franchise is so critically panned is because people who review movies are just not capable of realizing that these movies are not for them. the saw franchise is for freak queers only

[firekitten830]

face makeup is evil. i don’t care. like eyeshadow can be a fun and creative thing and it’s not like anybody is going to think you genuinely have purple eyelids but face makeup that’s made to look “natural” just ends up making you think your normal skin is something to be covered up and distorts your perception of your face. the whole “it makes ppl more confident!” thing is a lie because it’s not that the makeup itself is making you feel confident it’s that it creates an association with confidence and the results of that is you end up hating your face which is the opposite of building your self-confidence.

[firekitten830]

there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

[firekitten830]

Combaaaaatt

Combaaaaaaatttt

ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ 🥺💛

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!!!