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[forcryingoutlloud]

screwed up and brilliant - matty healy

(mdni) in which your whirlwind summer takes a turn you never could have predicted. part two of white and gold. 16185 words.

warnings (here we go): daddy kink (obvs), phone sex, authority kink, roleplay, dom/sub dynamics, mean dom!matty, spanking, semi-public sex, gagging, oral (f receiving), mentions of anal, vague allusions to parental fuckery

The singular thought circling through your head the entire way home is what the fuck. If it weren’t for the soreness in your muscles, the bruises on your thighs and your embarrassing lack of underwear, you’d believe you dreamt the whole thing. You stop the taxi a little ways down your street, trying not to draw attention to yourself returning from your unbelievable night. It’s not like your parents would know exactly where you’ve been, but you’d rather save yourself the embarrassment of getting caught coming home from a hookup.

It turns out you didn’t need to worry, though, your footsteps echoing through an empty house as you let yourself in the back. Checking your phone for the first time since you left the dinner with Matty, critically low battery and a text from your mother flash up at you. We’ve gone out for lunch at the Dove. Love you x, the text informs you, a sense of guilty relief washing over you. There’s few things you love more than your house being empty; your shoulders loose without your mother’s nervous, slightly oppressive energy and your father’s meaningful and disappointed glances. Your steps are light as you waltz up the stairs to your room, flinging open your wardrobe to start getting ready before you realise you don’t know what you should be dressing for.

You tip out your clutch onto the bed, business cards, lipgloss and a forgotten pair of earrings spilling on your sheets as you dig for Matty’s number. Tapping the keyboard idly, you try to think of a good opening message, inspiration striking as you catch sight of a discarded bra on your bedroom floor. You slip into a favourite set, black with gold detailing and leaving very little to the imagination, and pose in your bedroom mirror, texting the photo to Matty.

hi x

trying to get ready but i don’t know what to wear :( where are we going?

Fucking hell

Hi, pretty girl

You could wear that and I’d be a very happy man

yeah i bet you would

answer the question perv

I don’t want to spoil the surprise

if you don’t tell me im changing

Fine

Brat

It’s nice but relaxed

Youre not dressing for dinner its not that hard

rude

pick me up in an hour ;)

You turn back to your wardrobe with a groan — what the fuck does he mean by nice but relaxed? A skirt and a nice top? Heels or no heels? What are you supposed to do with your hair? Leafing through your clothes, you find a green sundress tucked away near the back, a vintage treasure you’d picked up at a market a few years ago and promptly forgotten about. By some stroke of luck, it fits perfectly, the skirt swirling gorgeously around your calves. Your reflection grins back at you as you dust on some makeup, finding a dangling pair of jade earrings to match.

Exactly on cue, your phone rings, flashing up Matty’s contact. “Hi, love. I’m outside — well, as close as I dare, anyway. I’m on a double yellow, actually. Risking my spotless driving record for you.”

You snort. “They’ve gone out, park in the drive. I’ll come to the door.” You pad down the stairs as Matty’s tyres crunch on the gravel outside. Smoothing down your hair nervously, you take a deep breath, the blurry outline of him visible through the stained glass of your front door. You swing the door open as Matty raises his fist to knock, giggling slightly at the way he stands, his hand hovering meaninglessly in midair.

His eyes blow wide as he takes you in, crowding you close in a split-second. “Hi, princess,” he grins, electricity tingling under your skin where he holds you by the waist, his body pressed against yours. “If nobody’s home, I can do this,” he breathes, catching your lips and kissing you deeply, licking into your mouth like a starving man.

After a long moment, you find the strength to push him away. “Matty, the neighbours!” you protest.

“Fine,” Matty says, walking you inside and kicking the door shut behind him. He pulls you back to him, catching your lips in a filthy kiss, a slide of lips and tongue, sticky with desire. Groaning into your mouth, his lips fall to your neck, pressing kisses over the concealed bruises on your neck. You can tell he wants to cover them, mark you up as his own, and you giggle as you push his head back.

“Do we have to go to lunch?” you tease. “They’re not gonna be back for hours.”

Matty pinches your ass through your skirt. “Needy girl. You’ll love the place, I promise.” Slowly, like it pains him, he lets go of you and steps back, eyes widening as he properly takes in the sight of you for the first time. “God, you look gorgeous, princess. You look like summer.” You flush, shifting on your feet and glancing at the floor. “Can’t believe I get to have you. You know everyone who sees you is gonna be fuckin’ jealous of me, gonna want my pretty girl for themselves?” He looks livid at the mere prospect, a muscle jumping in his jaw.

You giggle. “But I’ll be there with you. Why would I want anyone else?” you assure him, stretching up to kiss at the corners of his mouth until he cracks a smile. Your chest aches a little at the sight, a private moment of happiness stretching between you. You can almost see the path along with it, a brief flicker of a life with him dancing in your imagination before you swat it away.

Fuck, you’re in too deep. You’re hurtling towards a vast expanse of something, and you don’t even have the strength to look away. You can only hope the breakneck pace isn’t going to break your heart, too.

“That’s right,” Matty says, after what feels like an eternity. “All mine, yeah? Shall we?”

You nod, not yet trusting yourself to speak, and take his hand, sliding into the passenger seat of his car. The smell of clean leather envelops you, mixed with Matty’s now-familiar cigarettes and cologne smell. Matty’s hand lands on your thigh and traces absent circles as he reverses out of the drive. The streets roll by, rows of houses all merging together, your eyes glazing over while you avoid Matty’s gaze. “So pretty, baby,” he murmurs. “My pretty little passenger princess.”

“Does that mean you’ll drive me anywhere I want?” you tease, finally bringing your gaze back to Matty. The afternoon light casts him in a soft glow, his curls ruffling in the gentle breeze. He taps his fingers absently on the wheel, a sick thrill running through you as you remember feeling them on your skin, thighs clenching needily under his touch. You slide a hand between his legs, smirking at the hiss he lets out when you palm gently over his cock. “Promise I’ll make it worth your while,” you add teasingly, plying him with wide, innocent eyes.

Matty chuckles darkly and returns his other hand to the wheel, your skin impossibly cold in the absence his touch leaves behind. “You gonna get me off right here? In the car with the windows down? Such a naughty girl.” He inclines his head as if to say go on, calling your bluff, and you lower your gaze and return your hand to your lap, subdued. “That’s what I thought. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, princess.”

You shrug. “Wouldn’t want to taint your spotless driving record,” you tease, and he tips back his head and laughs, the sound filling the car and wrapping around you, your head going fuzzy with affection. A few minutes later, Matty puts the car in park, leaning over the centre console to kiss you. His hand comes up to cup your jaw, thumbing lightly over your cheek and smiling against your lips. Ever the gentleman, he comes to the passenger side to let you out, and you take his arm and let him lead you inside. 

“Afternoon,” Matty greets the maître d’ with a polite smile. “Healy for two, one thirty?”

“Ah, yes, right this way, sir,” he says, his eyes flickering curiously over you as he leads you through the restaurant.

His gaze lands judgmentally on Matty when he tugs you into him by the waist, and you bristle, deliberately planting a kiss on his cheek as you walk. “Would you like to sit inside or outside?” the maître d’ asks in a tone that suggests he’d rather be anywhere else.

“Can we sit outside, please? It’s such a nice day,” you say, and Matty grins indulgently down at you. He inclines his head at the maître d’, who leads you into the restaurant’s courtyard. Your jaw drops at the oasis you’ve suddenly found yourself in, lush green dotted through with glass tables, quiet chatter undercut with the splash of a dancing water fountain.

“This place is gorgeous,” you say as Matty pulls out your chair for you. “Do you come here a lot?”

He sees right through you, smirking over his menu. “I’ve never brought a girl here,” he tells you, answering the question you’re really asking.

“You keep saying that,” you say thoughtfully. “No bullshitting this time, what makes me so special?”

Matty meets your eyes, holding your gaze deadly serious. “I don’t date a lot, princess,” he tells you. “The girls that I… spend time with…” Your jaw clenches. “They’re not… Well, I need to feel a connection, you know? And I hadn’t felt it in a long time. I was kind of starting to give up hope,” he huffs a quiet laugh, a soft smile crossing his face when he speaks. “And then I met you, and I could just feel it.” He’s gazing adoringly at you, and you suddenly wonder if maybe it’s okay that you’re in too deep, because maybe, just maybe, he’s right there with you.

“Matty, I—”

“Good afternoon!” a bright, falsely cheery voice cuts in. “Are you both ready for drinks?”

Annoyed at the interruption, you purse your lips and address Matty. “I don’t know… What do you think I should get?” you grin, deliberately playing up the affection, leaning towards him and batting your lashes.

“I don’t know, darling. Are you feeling like wine?”

“I can come back,” the waitress says, all pretence at cheer abandoned as she taps her pencil against her notepad impatiently.

Rolling your eyes, you wave a hand at her. “No, stay. Just give me a minute to decide, ‘kay?” You scan the menu and deliberately order the most expensive rosé with a smirk in Matty’s direction. He shrugs, ordering himself a Malbec, and the waitress finally buzzes off.

It feels inappropriate to return to your conversation after the interruption, and you chuckle awkwardly. The breeze ripples in the silence between you, pulling clouds away from the sun so it shines directly into your eyes. Wincing, you shield your face, squinting in a way you’re sure is horrendously unattractive. Matty laughs softly. “Here you go, darling,” he says, pulling his sunglasses off his head and gently resting them on your face. “God, and here I thought you couldn’t get any prettier,” he adds, and you flush, picking at imaginary lint on your dress to avoid his gaze. 

“Flatterer,” you scoff, kicking softly at his shin. “Thank you,” you add, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“S’nothing, princess. Keep ‘em, if you want.” Matty shrugs as if they’re inconsequential, and not a two hundred pound accessory. “Smoke?” he offers as you’re still reeling.

You nod, tilting your head quizzically. “Thought you didn’t want me ruining my lungs?” you tease, slipping the cigarette between your lips.

Matty chuckles. “It’s a beautiful day, you’re getting fresh air, your pretty lungs will survive one,” he teases, flicking his lighter under your cigarette as you take a deep drag.

His gaze lingers meaningfully on you as the smoke curls from your mouth and you squirm. “What?” you ask, desire evident in his eyes; he just keeps fucking staring.

He blinks, shaking his head as if to clear it. “Sorry,” he murmurs. “God, you look fucking hot,” he adds with a chuckle. Just as you go to reply, the waitress returns with your drinks. You give a cursory thanks and take a long sip, full flavour swirling in your mouth. “You know, I wouldn’t have put you down as a dry wine kind of girl,” Matty remarks. “Sweet little thing like you.”

You flush the colour of your wine, but meet his gaze in challenge. “You don’t know everything about me.”

“I’d like to,” he says immediately, and you swallow thickly, his ability to disarm you frustratingly constant. He’s so fucking perfect, it’s actually disgusting. As you’re searching for a response, he perks up, tilting his head to tune into the song playing quietly over some unseen speaker. “Oh, man, I haven’t heard this song in forever,” he gasps, a boyish grin spreading across his face. “I was obsessed with this one when I was younger. Used to be on my band’s setlist and everything.”

Your jaw drops. “You were in a band?” you demand. “Were you any good?”

Matty chuckles. “I’d like to think so. S’a shame it didn’t pan out, really. I would’ve made a great rockstar, don’t you think?” he smirks, visions of Matty clad in a leather jacket, sweaty and gorgeous, crooning into a microphone swimming across your vision.

“Fuck, yeah. I’d have hated fighting your hordes of fangirls for your attention, though,” you sigh, and his grin widens as you stroke his ego. “Were you the guitarist?” you ask, memories of his calloused hands ghosting over your skin.

He scoffs, insulted. “I was the frontman, obviously.”

“Obviously,” you repeat, teasingly blowing smoke in his face as you stub out your cigarette. “But you still play?”

“Yeah,” Matty says, smiling wistfully, the expression taking years off him so clearly that you can almost see the ambitious, idealistic boy he must have been. You hope there’s a world where the band worked out for him, even if it means you’d never have met. “S’just a hobby, though,” he shrugs, interrupting your reverie. “You should hear my mate Hann, he’s fucking wicked.”

Taking a sip of your wine, you sigh meaningfully. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar.” You lean purposefully on the words, and Matty grins.

“You want me to teach you?”

You smile blithely. “Oh, please. I can sight read sheet music and everything, I’d be such a good student, Professor,” you add, smirking as he stiffens slightly.

“Oh, behave,” he scolds lightly, tugging at his

collar as if he’s sweating at your words. 

“Make me,” you giggle, meeting his eyes in challenge.

“You know I will, princess,” he says seriously, your skin prickling hot as he watches you, daring you to break first. You’re saved from having to, though, by the same waitress coming to take your order. Not even having picked up the food menu, you let Matty order for you, trusting his taste. 

As it turns out, his taste is impeccable, down to the steak being cooked exactly the way you like. “God, this is fucking delicious,” you exclaim, digging in eagerly. “This place is amazing,” you add, unable to keep the beaming smile off your face. You chat back and forth for a couple of hours, asking about his family and his childhood, cooing at the stories he tells. If anyone were listening, they’d probably be nauseated by your obscene flirting, getting bolder as Matty continues plying you with wine even as he switches to water.

The same waitress returns, the false cheer bright in her tone as she offers you dessert menus. “No, thanks,” you say without taking your eyes off Matty. “We have dessert at home.” You flash your teeth in a grin so there can be no mistaking your meaning.

Matty picks up the bill, and you don’t even pretend to protest. It’s been years since you’ve been on a date you didn’t have to pay for, guys your age from your circles unusually stingy, and you feel guilty expecting broke college boys to pay for you. And it’s only feminist to split the bill with another girl, anyway. “Dessert, yeah?” he smirks as you slide into the passenger seat, and you squirm.

“I promise I’m just as sweet,” you tease. “Take me to yours and I’ll show you exactly how sweet I can be.”

Matty clicks his tongue. “I don’t think so,” he says, and your stomach sinks. “Good girl like you shouldn’t put out on the first date, or didn’t your daddy teach you any better?” he says, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

God, he’s a fucking tease. “You didn’t teach me anything like that, Daddy,” you pout. “You can’t get me all needy looking this hot and not let me have you. S’not fair.” You fold your arms, sulking.

“Oh, angel,” he tuts. “Not figured it out, yet? I don’t have to be fair.” And with that, your fate is sealed, Matty dropping you home and leaning over for a chaste kiss that he resists your attempts to deepen. “I’ll see you soon, princess. You know where to find me,” he promises, your eyes not leaving him until his car turns the corner and disappears from view.

You slope inside, disappointed and unsatisfied, plagued with the thought of where you could be right now if Matty had taken you home with him. Your father’s car is in the drive, and you groan to yourself, utterly uninterested in explaining yourself. Of course, you’re expected to anyways. “Where have you been?” your mother demands, and you fold your arms. If she’d asked out of curiosity, genuine interest, it would be different, but she only wants to know so she can approve or disapprove, sneering consternation written across her face.

“Out,” you say shortly, thick tension pulling taut between you.

“With who?” she asks, lips pursed.

“A friend,” you snap. “God, Mum, I went out for lunch, what’s it to you? I’m a grown-ass woman, I shouldn’t have to ask my mummy for permission to leave the house!”

“Language!” she exclaims, and you roll your eyes and push past her, storming up the stairs and slamming the door, finally breathing easy when the lock on your door forms a decisive barrier between you and your parents. Left alone, it doesn’t take long for your thoughts to drift back to Matty and the ache he left between your thighs. You wonder if he’s home yet, if he’ll want to hear your voice, or if it’s too soon.

You war with yourself for a few minutes, but your desire wins out, calling Matty up and laying back against your pillows. “Hello, darling.” He picks up on the second ring. “Missing me already?”

“Mhm,” you murmur, the mere sound of his voice sending a pulse of desire thrumming through you. “Thinkin’ about you. About how you got me all needy.”

He laughs darkly. “God, what am I going to do with you? Naughty girl can’t even keep her hands to herself for an hour. Are you getting wet for me, angel?”

“Yes,” you moan happily, thrilled to get what you want. “I need you.”

“You beg so pretty, baby,” he coos, grunting softly, and you can just picture him, cock half-hard in his palm as you hear the rustle of clothes dropping to the floor. “C’mon, tell Daddy what you want.”

You whimper, dipping your hand under your waistband, slick pooling against your fingertips. “Wish you were touching me,” you moan. “Could’ve brought me home with you. Could’ve bent me over anywhere you wanted, stuffed me full and fucking used me.”

“Such a slut,” Matty murmurs, faint, slick sounds echoing from the other end of the call as he grunts rhythmically. The image of him makes you dizzy, fisting his cock messily, hips thrusting into his hand. You moan quietly, rubbing slow, tight circles into your clit. “Are you touching yourself?” You murmur an affirmative. “Stop.” Your blood runs cold, like you’ve been doused in ice water.

“Wh- What?” you hiss, disbelieving.

“You heard me, darling. I told you, good girls don’t put out on the first date. Daddy’s teachin’ you manners, yeah?”

“That’s not fair, Daddy,” you whine again. “Don’t need you to tell me when I can get off. Managed just fine before you came along,” you add petulantly.

Matty just laughs. “Okay, baby. I’m sure you did. You could hang up this call right now, get yourself off all on your own. But you won’t,” he says, smugly confident. “You know why? Because Daddy knows what’s best for brats like you. And, really, you just wanna be my good, sweet, dumb little girl, don’t you, angel?”

Thick, choking lust envelops you, crushing the air from your lungs as you find yourself whimpering, “Yes, Daddy. Won’t touch anymore,” you say, your mouth moving without your brain’s say-so.

Your body hums with energy, tense with the knowledge you won’t be allowed to release it. “Good girl,” Matty croons, your chest warming at the praise. “Still gotta punish you for bein’ a brat, though,” he adds, through a soft moan. “Don’t want you touchin’ that pretty cunt without my permission, ‘kay?” Your stomach sinks, arousal flaring impossibly in your gut.

“Okay, Daddy. I’ll be good,” you promise, his appreciative moan sending heat spiralling between your legs. You stay on the call until the sound of Matty spilling into his fist fills your ears, leaving you sticky and fucking throbbing with need. It takes you what feels like forever to get your breathing under control enough that your legs will stop shaking to carry you to the shower. You gasp as you plunge into the freezing cold spray, barely enough to quench the fire rolling through your veins. Unable to resist, you text Matty a picture of yourself when you step out, the steam on the mirror teasingly blurring your wet, naked body.

And that is the last time you hear Matty’s voice for an entire fucking week. There always seems to be some obstacle, a friend’s birthday, or a dinner you’re not invited to, or both of you are up to your eyeballs in pointless, mind-numbing work. You’d almost think he was avoiding you, if not for your constant back-and-forth over text and Matty’s incessant pleas for you to visit him at the office. You resist for a while, terrified of being caught and what that would mean for this… thing… that’s blooming between you, still fragile and new.

But it’s driving you fucking crazy, and you miss him, so after a week, you find an excuse; because you’re a good, dutiful daughter, you’re bringing your father lunch to share after he cancelled your meal out yesterday. You zone out after the same five minutes of talking in circles, giving automatic, robotic responses you know he wants to hear. It would be a lie to say you didn’t breathe a sigh of relief when the lift doors ding shut, carrying you up to Matty’s office. You haven’t told him you’re coming, hoping your presence will be a welcome surprise. What you hadn’t counted on, though, was his bleach-blonde secretary, idly tapping on her keyboard and actively standing in your way.

Your heart sinks. She’s pretty, unbelievably so, and barely older than you. If Matty hasn’t already had her, which you doubt, it’s crossed his mind. What if that’s what he’s been doing, all those times he’s complained about leaving the office late? A vision of her spread out on his desk fills your mind, Matty crooning his sweet, filthy words into her ear as her chest heaves. Her boobs are fake, you decide, your gaze flickering to them. It’s not humanly possible for a pair of tits to be that big and perky at the same time. Pushing down the jealousy roiling in your gut, you step up to her desk. Her eyes sweep over you, unimpressed, and she purses her lips.

You push your shoulders back, letting the snotty, spoiled brat who’s never been told no free, a snide grin spreading across your features. It feels fucking good to exercise that facet of your personality again, having tamped down on it since you went to uni — makes it easier to play well with others. Impatiently, you click your fingers in front of the woman’s face. “I’m here to see Mr. Healy,” you say with a saccharine smile. Sure, you could just call him and tell him you’re outside, but this is so much more fun. Especially now that you get to mess with her head, too. Matty’s never fucked her, but she wants him to, you can tell by the way her face falls when she sees you. Good, you think vindictively. Maybe blondes don’t have more fun. Not with him, at least.

“Do you have an appointment?” she asks, voice nasally and grating.

You sigh, like she’s asking you a ridiculous question. “No, but he’ll want to see me, trust me. Tell him… Tell him Angel is here, yeah?” She looks at you, sceptical and detached. “My parents were hippies, what can you do?” you shrug, raising your eyebrows and flicking your fingers patronisingly at her, as if to say go on. Your gazes lock in a battle of wills for a brief moment, but you grin victoriously when she picks up her phone.

“Hello, sir. There’s a girl out here asking to see you.” The way she says girl feels like a slur dripping from her overglossed lips. “Says her name’s Angel? She doesn’t have an appointment, I can send her away, if you like. Won’t be a problem.”

“No, no, send her in. And, for future reference, she’s welcome anytime, okay? No appointment necessary. Actually, I’ll come get her.” Matty’s voice is faint from the other end of the phone, but distinct enough that you can hear his words and the click as he sets the phone down. Seconds later, he emerges from his office, breaking into a wide grin at the sight of you. “Hello, angel,” he grins, kissing your cheek politely but lingering a little longer than appropriate. “Feels like it’s been forever. Come on in, yeah?” He takes you by the waist and leads you to his office, and you throw a smirk over your shoulder at the secretary as you go, a clear message: I win, you lose. “Oh, and Ruby? Nobody in my office for the next hour, alright?” She flushes as red as her name suggests, glaring at you furiously, trying to tell you this isn’t over. You ignore her, though, because you and Matty are finally alone.

“Only an hour?” you giggle. “You’re losing your touch, sir.”

“Oh, sir, hm? That’s new,” he teases as you perch on his desk, drinking in the sight of him with something dangerously close to relief.

You lean forward. “She wants you. So fucking badly,” you remark.

“I know,” he shrugs, loosening his tie with one hand and stroking your bare thigh with the other.

This time, you let the jealousy bubble up to the surface. “Have you ever fucked her?” You know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

Matty laughs. “Have you ever heard the expression, don’t shit where you eat?” he asks, and you wrinkle your nose and nod. “Well, that goes double for the young, hot blonde the company dangles in front of you like fucking bait, just waiting for you to cross a line.”

You’re starting to see red, his words nothing close to what you wanted to hear. “But you would. If she didn’t work for you.”

He shrugs. “Maybe.” He grips your hips, sliding you closer to him, dislodging stacks of paper and pens from his desk. “If I didn’t have you.” Then, his fingers creep higher, tantalisingly close to where you want them, and you push down the argument you were about to start. Giving up the best sex you’ve ever had isn’t worth it just because you got a little too possessive over someone who isn’t actually yours.

“She’d never be as good as me,” you say bitterly. “I don’t think a man like you would let a little red tape stop you if you actually wanted her. What’s wrong with her, really?”

Matty smirks. “Jealous girl,” he says smugly. “Don’t wanna talk about her when I could have this,” he adds, rubbing slow, teasing circles into your thigh. You whine softly, arching forward into his touch. “You’d be better than her, yeah? You wanna prove it?” You tilt your head quizzically. “Let’s say you’re my secretary, yeah, baby?”

A thrill runs up your spine. “Yes, sir,” you breathe. You slide off the desk to prop yourself in the chair opposite his, unbuttoning your blouse a little and leaning back with a smirk. “You wanted to see me, sir?” you say, playing up your wide, innocent eyes.

“Yes,” Matty says thoughtfully. “I think we need to discuss your behaviour in my office.” You bite your lip to clamp down on your grin, nodding seriously. “Always in those short little skirts, bendin’ over so you can show off those pretty, lace panties. You wear those for me, don’t you, baby?”

You smirk, popping the buttons of your blouse past decency. “You’re wrong, sir.” You spread your legs wide, and he chokes on his inhale. “I’m not wearing any panties.”

Matty groans, sweeping his desk clear, pens and paper scattering across the floor. “Bend over,” he orders sharply. “Now.”

You stand to obey, then pause. “Wait one second,” you say, darting around the desk so you’re face-to-face. “Just realised I haven’t done this yet.” You sling your arms around his neck and press your lips against his, kissing him hungrily and melting at his touch. Desperately, you try not to dissect the relief flooding your body from the point where his hands meet your skin. “Okay,” you say as you pull back, breathless. “M’ready now.”

Bracing your elbows on the desk, you bend over, baring your dripping cunt as Matty shoves your skirt up your thighs. “Spread your legs for me.” You obey, but he just growls and kicks them further apart, a shocked sound pulling free from your throat. “Wider,” he orders. “Not doin’ such a good job of convincing me you’d be so much better than her, you know,” he says, tone almost conversational if his nails weren’t digging into your hips so hard they’ll bruise. 

Angry, red-hot jealousy floods your veins, tangling cruelly with the ball of anticipation winding tight in your core. You can’t decide whether to go lax, let Matty have his good girl, or to fight against him for comparing you to her. It doesn’t take long for the brat to win out. “You want her so bad? Call her in, then,” 

You can practically hear Matty’s eyebrows raise, the realisation you won’t let him have this so easily setting in. “You want me to, baby?” He clicks his tongue. “I don’t think so. I think you’re jealous of the pretty girl who sits outside my office all day.” He reaches around to pop another button of your blouse. “And you’re scared of what I might be doing with her when you can’t see.” He pulls your shirt out of the waistband of your skirt and tugs it off your shoulders. “So you want her to know exactly what we’re doing in here, so you can lay some kind of claim on me. Am I right?” Your mind spins as you try to think of a smartass response, thoughts jolted free from your head when Matty spanks you harshly. The crack of skin on skin might have been loud enough to be heard from outside, you think with a pulse of satisfaction. “Unless the next words out of your mouth are yes, sir or yes, Daddy, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you moan out, your cunt throbbing needily. “You’re right. Want her to see how good you fuck me, want her to know she could never make you feel as good as I do,” you say, the admissions stumbling one after another from your lips, unbidden.

“There’s my good girl,” he coos, your stomach clenching at the sound of his belt unbuckling, his zipper falling. “Such a little brat when you’re gagging for my cock, aren’t you, princess?” You nod furiously, whining as he teases your hole with the tips of his fingers. Desperate for friction, you grind back against them, weak, helpless moans tumbling from your lips. “Beg for it.” You choke on a gasp. “Go on, angel. You want my cock so bad? Beg for it.”

You don’t even have time to pretend to have dignity before wanton pleas spill free. “Fuck, Daddy, please! Want your cock so fucking bad, always make me feel so good, s’not the same when I do it myself,” you whine, giving a shuddering gasp when he teases your clit with the tip of his cock. “Please! I’m beggin’ you, Daddy, I’ll be good, I promise.”

Matty chuckles. “Alright, baby, alright,” he murmurs soothingly, lining himself up with your soaked entrance and sliding home so fast you’re gasping. Your knees buckle as you scramble for purchase on the desk, nails scraping against the varnished wood. “Oh, princess, it’s okay, Daddy’s here now,” he soothes, your cunt pulsing desperately around him. “Look at you, bein’ all sweet for me now you’re stuffed full. Such a dumb little slut, aren’t you, baby? Bet you wish you didn’t have to think about anythin’ except my cock.”

“Mhm,” you whine, arching your back as much as you can, your tits pressing against the cool wood of the desk. “M’just your stupid little slut, Daddy, please fuck me,” you beg, grinding back against him.

Matty’s hips slam suddenly against yours, a whining scream tearing from your throat as pleasure spills over in your veins. His hand comes down to cover your mouth, your body going limp against his. “Shh, princess. I’m at work, remember?” The reminder that fucking anyone could come to his door, know exactly what he’s doing to you, sends a thrill up your spine. “Can you be quiet, hm? Or do I need to make you quiet?” Another deep thrust draws a long, low moan from your throat, and he seems to have answered his own question. The fabric of his tie covers your mouth, spit leaking out around it. “There you go, angel. Nice and quiet for me. Bang on the desk if you need me to stop, okay?”

You nod, something that might be yes, Daddy coming out garbled around the gag. Matty fucks into you brutally, your chest heaving as ecstasy burns under your skin. “Good girl,” he coos. “Good, sweet girl. Takin’ my cock so well, princess. Such a pretty toy for your Daddy.”

Matty sets a bruising pace, your tongue pushing against his tie as it holds back your pathetic little noises. Your tits press against the desk, the sharp tip of a pencil digging into your bare stomach. You barely feel it, unconscious of anything but Matty’s skin against yours. “God, you feel so fucking good, princess. Daddy’s girl, aren’t you? Why would I ever want another girl when I’ve ruined you so perfect for me? Look at you, good little girl gagged and bent over my desk like a whore.” You moan, filthy words washing over you, sliding down your throat, sticky, wet pleasure dripping out of you.

You’re dizzy with lust, dazed and drooling, ecstasy spiralling through your bones. You can’t even think, Matty fucking all coherence out of you, every thrust clouding your mind more and more. Garbled moans fall from your lips in a filthy, spit-slick string, Matty’s rhythmic grunts swirling deliciously around your head. The calloused pads of his fingers find your clit, euphoria scorching in your bloodstream at the scrape over your swollen nerves. Your legs feel like jelly, melting hot and sweet under Matty’s touch. “You’re close, aren’t you, baby? Can feel your pretty cunt squeezin’ me so tight, princess. You wanna cum for Daddy?”

A few more rough circles over your clit, one more deep, spearing thrust and you break, wailing around the gag. “Good girl,” Matty croons, fucking you through as stars shatter behind your closed lids. Liquid ecstasy melts your bones, glueing you to the desk. Matty groans your name, cock pulsing as he spills inside you, a sound that’s pure desire falling from his lips. Still inside you, he unties the gag, letting it fall onto the desk as you draw a deep breath. “How are you feeling, angel?”

“So good,” you murmur, voice scratchy from disuse, whining as he pulls out of you. “Always make me feel so good, Daddy,” you add, letting Matty flip you around and set you on the desk, his eyes falling to your glistening core. Cum drips obscenely from you, puddling sticky and wet on his desk, a filthy smirk crossing his face.

“Good girl. So pretty for me, darling.” He tucks himself away, and once his belt is buckled he’s the picture of professionalism while you sit in front of him, sex-rumpled and half-naked and panting. “First girl I’ve ever fucked in here, you know,” he adds, so offhand you’d almost miss it if it it hadn’t made your heart jump into your throat. You can’t make head or fucking tail of him, one minute taunting you with his pretty secretary, the next swearing that you’re special. “M’sorry, darling, I don’t have much in here to clean you up with,” he says with a soft laugh, wiping a tissue through your folds and crooning soothingly when you whimper.

“S’okay. Was worth it,” you say. Your limbs feel tired and heavy, your eyelids drooping as you glance at the time and realise half your allotted hour is gone.

“You tired, sweet girl?” he asks with a soft, fond chuckle.

“Yeah,” you yawn. “You wore me out. Wish we were in bed. That was the best sleep of my life,” you confess, huffing a soft laugh.

You shudder as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch careful and tender. “Soon, princess, I promise. I’m sorry we haven’t seen each other. Missed you,” he says, and the admission melts in your chest, glueing your organs together and squeezing tightly. You sigh, the question on the tip of your tongue dissolving like a sugar pill as your resolve shatters. “How’s your week been, angel? Your friend’s birthday, right?”

You swallow a grimace. Isobel is hardly your friend, in the same way your parents aren’t friends, but you run in the same circles so proximity forced you into something resembling friendship. “Oh, the usual,” you say idly, twirling a curl that’s sprung loose from the gel in his hair around your finger. “Drinks, drugs, boys,” you tease, grinning when his jaw clenches. So he can dish it out but not take it? Interesting. 

“Did you talk to any boys, princess?” he asks, eyes glittering dangerously.

Shrugging airily, you kick your legs where they dangle off the desk. “So what if I did?” you challenge. The next words wrench themselves free of your mouth, tasting bitter as they fall. “We’re only fucking, it’s not like you actually own me. If I want to fuck someone else, are you gonna stop me?”

The question hangs thick and acerbic in the air between you and Matty swallows visibly. “No,” he says after a pause. “You can fuck whoever you want, princess. Won’t be as good as me, though, and you know it,” he says, smug and acrid.

The air between you is tense, horribly charged and all wrong, and you can feel tears prickling at the back of your throat. “I should get going,” you say abruptly, getting to your feet. “I’ll see you soon,” you add, not looking back at him as you cross the room.

“Say hi to Ruby on your way out, yeah?” Matty says, something close to a sneer in his voice. As you open the door, though, you paste on a blithe smile and relax your shoulders for Ruby’s benefit. 

“Hope it’s not you who has to clean up in there,” you smirk as you pass. “Made a bit of a mess,” you giggle, savouring the way Ruby’s face shifts in colour as she swallows her grimace.

And so you leave Matty’s office more confused about what he wants than when you fucking came in. Something shifts between you after that. Your words don’t change, Matty just as syrupy-sweet as ever, but the difference is palpable, sugared words souring as you digest them. He gets even more possessive while you fuck, more degrading, insisting you’re such a little slut, baby. Whoring yourself out to every fucking boy who looks at you, but you always come runnin’ back to your Daddy, yeah?

But it’s not always angry and mean. Sometimes, it’s slow and so sweet you could swear it’s loving, Matty lavishing you with praise, murmurs of that’s right, such a good girl and Daddy’s girl, so pretty for me soaking into your skin and tying themselves in knots around your brain. Some nights, especially recently, you don’t even fuck when you go to his place. Being there is a comfort, away from catty friends and overbearing parents, somewhere you can just be. Last night, you’d suddenly realised you kind of just weren’t in the mood, apologising and making to leave, and he’d just kissed your temple, pulled you in close and asked what your favourite movie was. And you started to believe. And then you’ll go out for drinks, so much as mention a boy’s name; he’ll toss a jab about some pretty young girl he works with, and you’re right back where you started, tearing each other apart at the seams. 

You’re this close to ripping your fucking hair out, sick to death of bottling it all up when you finally decide you need to unload on someone. “I just don’t get him,” you complain, your best friend Thea making sympathetic noises at all the right moments. “One minute it’s all you’re my girl and my pretty baby, the next it’s such a whore, bet you’d let anyone fuck you.”

“But you’re still sleeping at his place?” Thea asks, judgement obvious in her tone.

You groan. “Yes, leave me alone! If you saw the state I’m in after, you’d understand.”

Thea clicks her tongue. “And you haven’t actually fucked anyone else?”

“No,” you admit, defeated. “Don’t know if I could, to be honest.”

“Does he know that? Has he?”

“No and I don’t know. I just don’t know where I fucking stand, and I can’t ask. He’ll think I’m some pathetic little girl who can’t handle it, I know it.”

“You know what you need? You, me, a pair of slutty little dresses, and those fancy cocktails with about twelve kinds of alcohol in them from 102. I’m not taking no for an answer, I’ll see you at ten.”

And, true enough, at eleven you’re clutching a gin bowl for dear life and screeching along to the song thumping through the club’s speakers. “I need a refill, c’mon!” you shout in Thea’s ear, dragging her off to the bar where you can hear slightly better.

Despite the queue, the bartender stops in front of you with a smile. “Love that dress. What can I get for you?” You scan the menu, brow scrunching in a frown, but your words die in your throat as the bartender steps into slightly better light and you take her in properly. She’s a fucking goddess, model-pretty with thick, dark hair and long-lashed brown eyes. 

Thea swats your arm and you realise your gaze has drifted down, and you pull it back up to where she’s waiting with a smirk. “You’ve— The menu’s changed. I used to get a Sucker,” you manage to get out around the lump in your throat.

“Alright,” she says cryptically. “And you?”

Thea shrugs. “I’ll have what she’s having, I’m not picky.”

She laughs. “Oh, no. You two do not pick the same poisons. I’ve got this, okay?” Slightly entranced, you watch her work, setting something golden and glittering in front of you. “Sunshine Baby,” she says with a wink. “And for you… Antichrist.”

Thea takes her swirling, dark drink with a delighted grin. “She was into you,” she teases, nudging you with her hip.

“Oh, please, she wanted a tip.” The pair of you find a table, one with a prime view of the DJ booth so you can ogle the hot, blond DJ as he whips the crowd into a frenzied mass of sweating bodies. You keep returning to the same bartender, whose name you learn is Charli, and she keeps plying you with free shots for hot girls and increasingly strong drinks, until you find yourself stumbling onto the dancefloor and losing track of Thea.

Your head feels light, your body loose in a way it hasn’t been in weeks, the alcohol dampening your coherent thoughts. A pair of hands find your waist, and you twist your head back to meet the eyes of their owner. He couldn’t be further from Matty if he tried; your age, for one, tall, willowy and blond. The kind of man you’d usually never have looked twice at. But maybe that’s exactly what you need right now, you think, grinding your hips back against his with a grin. “Can I get your number?” he asks, pulling you free of the dancefloor, sweaty and flushed and smiling freely. After a long moment of consideration, Matty’s warning gaze flashing in your mind, you smirk and give it to him. “Let me take you out. You free Thursday?”

His overconfidence is jarring, and you swallow a frown. “I don’t know,” you tease. “Maybe. Why don’t we get back out there and you can convince me?” You obviously aren’t going to fucking go. Even as drunk as you are, you know that. Whatever this thing with Matty is, it’s serious to you, and you know the pair of you need to untangle it. But, for now, you shove it to the back of your mind, distracting yourself with free shots from a pretty boy, your head spinning wildly by the time you find Thea.

She might even be drunker than you are, stumbling and slurring as you bundle her into a taxi; she lives on the other side of town to you, so it doesn’t make sense to share. “Go, I’ll be fine,” you insist. “There’ll be another one in a minute, okay? Bye! Love you!” you shout as the car pulls away, Thea’s slightly green-tinged face hanging out of the open window. Left alone, you suddenly realise just how drunk you are, your vision blurred as you slump to the curb. When ten minutes pass without a taxi appearing, panic starts to set in; it’s too close to closing time and you’re too drunk, 102 won’t let you back in, and it’ll be the same story anywhere up and down the street. You’re alone in the dark, bile rising in your throat as you do the only thing you can think of and dial Matty.

“Hello?” he says, voice gruff with sleep. “Bit late to be calling, darling. Can’t sleep? Need some help to relax?” he adds, his smirk audible.

Your voice wavers as you speak. “M’sorry, I didn’t know who else to call,” you say, choked with the effort of holding back tears. “I can’t call my parents, I don’t have any fucking friends who’d care, there’s no taxis, I—” you cut yourself off with a hysterical gasp.

Matty shushes you soothingly. “Baby. Baby, breathe. Breathe for me, okay?” You try your best to obey, drawing deep, hiccuping breaths, shuddering harshly on the exhale. “What’s wrong, love?” You stumble your way through an explanation, babbling profuse apologies, mortification creeping up your spine. “Darling, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry. Where are you?”

“102,” you sniffle. “It’s—”

“I know the place. Sit tight, okay? I’m getting in the car now, I’ll be there soon. I’ve got you, promise.” The wave of relief that floods your body when you finally spot Matty’s car pulling to a stop in front of you is near-crippling, and you’d have collapsed when he wraps his arms around you if he wasn’t supporting your weight. “Oh, baby. Sweet girl, it’s okay. I’m here now. I’ve got you,” he repeats soothingly, only pulling away when you stop swaying on your feet. “God, you smell like the floor of a dive bar,” he teases, and you chuckle weakly. “C’mon, angel. Let’s get you in bed, yeah?”

You murmur another apology as you slide into the passenger seat, and he waves it away with a smile. “Hey, my house is the left back there,” you say, the cool night air having snapped you back to yourself a little.

“I know,” Matty says quietly. “I’m not sending you back there alone, darling. Promised I’d take care of you, didn’t I?” he says, his hand on your thigh gently calming instead of teasing.

“Thank you,” you mumble, looking down at your lap as Matty parks the car in his drive.

“Any time, angel. I’m serious. I’m glad you called. Don’t ever want you to think I won’t be here if you’re not okay.” And fuck if that sickening, chaotic mess of feelings doesn’t just bubble right back up to the surface. He leads you into the kitchen, your body curled into his to steady yourself. “I’ll get you something to eat, okay?”

You shake your head. “Mm-mm. You’re already doing too much. And I won’t keep it down, anyway,” you say, pressing a hand to your roiling stomach. “I just need to lie down.” You start to wander into the living room, and Matty grabs your wrist gently. 

“You need to eat something, darling. Drink some water, sleep in a bed,” he adds insistently. You let him fuss over you, plying you with a slice of toast and a glass of water, and you tuck yourself into his chest as he carries you up to bed. Dressed in one of his well-worn shirts, his familiar scent fills your lungs, comforting as he tucks himself into bed next to you.

“Thank you,” you repeat. “Can’t say it enough. Didn’t have to do all this, Matty. I would’ve been okay.”

“Don’t want you just okay,” he answers. “Want you feeling good, and safe, and happy. Get some sleep, love, m’here.” You close your eyes obligingly, but your drunken haze lifting has set your thoughts free, spinning like a coin set on its edge that just won’t fall. Your night plays back in sickening detail behind your lids, the memory of the boy’s hands on you bringing bile up your throat. Laying in Matty’s bed without having been thoroughly exhausted first always plays with your sanity, your brain wandering to places you know it shouldn’t go as he sleeps peacefully next to you.

The sun is coming up by the time you give up on sleep, hoping Matty’s rhythmic breathing means he won’t hear you trying to sneak away. No such luck, though. “Where you goin’, sweetheart?” he asks, and you feel a stab of guilt at interrupting his sleep yet again.

“Home. I’ll get out of your hair, now. Thank you again,” you say quietly.

“Baby. Princess. Come here, come back here,” Matty says, and he looks so sweet and earnest, sleep-soft and smiling, that you obey, and you can’t help the happy little sigh that escapes you as he pulls you close.

Shame burns hot through you as you remember the previous night all over again, and you can’t stop yourself from blurting out, “A boy asked me on a date last night.”

Matty’s hand tightens on your hip. “What did you say?” he asks, voice low with warning.

You sigh, steeling yourself to look into his eyes. “What do you want me to have said? you answer, and he blinks, confusion written across his features. “What is this, Matty? Because if this is casual, if you just want a shiny young girl on your arm for a few months, it’s fine by me,” you lie, pushing down the nausea that pools at your words. “But if this is just fun, we should be allowed to see other people — are you seeing other people?” you ask, tension winding between your shoulder blades as you prepare for the answer. 

“No,” Matty practically growls. “And I’m not fucking anyone else, either, before you ask. I haven’t in weeks.” He huffs a laugh. “I tried, the day I met you, tried to get you out of my head ‘cause I didn’t think I’d get to have you.” His thumb rubs gentle circles into your hip, his touch comforting as his words soak in, a soothing balm to your nerves. “Didn’t fucking work. Couldn’t stop picturing you instead,” he confesses. “You’re in my head, princess. M’sorry I let my little strop go on so long. Thinkin’ about some other man touching you was driving me crazy. I was bein’ selfish. If you want to see other people, I—”

“I don’t,” you interrupt. “Only want you.”

He breaks out in a wide grin. “Pictured this being a bit more romantic, but,” Matty pinches your hip gently, and you giggle, pressing a soft kiss against his lips. “You’re my girl, yeah? Properly mine.”

“Yeah,” you say, practically glowing as you smile back at him. “As long as you’re mine.”

He threads a hand into your hair, kisses you like breathing is a choice, licking eagerly into your mouth as you melt against him. “What are you gonna say if another boy asks you on a date, princess?”

“I have a boyfriend,” you beam, just using the word making your heart warm. The tangled knot that’s sat in your belly for weeks now blissfully untied, your body feels loose and happy and willing. “I’m gonna have a shower, okay, then I’ve gotta thank you properly, yeah?”

A filthy smirk pulls at Matty’s lips. “I like the sound of that.” You giggle, pressing a kiss to his nose before climbing off him.

“You would,” you tease, padding into the bathroom and running the shower. You luxuriate under the water for several long, glorious minutes, the water pressure melting the last lingering tension between your shoulders. The smell of the club lingers in your hair until you scrub it with Matty’s expensive shampoo, the smell familiar as you work your fingers over your scalp, lingering like you’ll be able to absorb him through your skin. You towel your hair mostly dry, despite your insistence that Matty was committing a cardinal sin by doing the same, and wander back into the bedroom still naked and dripping wet.

Matty chokes on a gasp. “Fuck. Hi, gorgeous.” The praise heats your cheeks and you kneel at the foot of his bed, clasping your hands behind your back.

“Hi, Daddy,” you say sweetly. “I said I’d thank you properly. Gonna show you what a good girl I can be. Best girl you’ll ever have.” Matty smirks, sitting up to give himself a better view. “Can do whatever you want with me. All day long.” He smirks, dirty and sleazy and delicious, and pats the sheets next to him.

“C’mere, princess. Up you get.” You scramble to obey, sighing happily when he tangles his legs with yours and kisses you slow and deep. His hardness presses against your thigh as you make out, his hands wandering to your ass and squeezing. “God, so perfect, darling,” he praises. “Can’t believe you’re all mine.”

“Yours,” you whimper into his mouth, almost deliriously happy. His kiss is almost ferocious, hungry and devouring, desire coiling under your skin. “Daddy, please. Want you so bad,” you murmur.

Matty laughs. “Patience, angel. Thought you were gonna be good?” he says, but it’s light and teasing, without any of the underlying meanness that might have laced his tone a week ago. You relax, tension unspooling in your belly as you put your trust in him. His hands skim over your body, somehow both gentle and working you into a frenzy. A litany of pathetic little whimpers fall from your lips as you squirm under his hands, Matty smirking into the kiss. “Sweet, needy baby,” he croons. “Missed havin’ you all sweet for me. M’sorry I was so mean, princess. Gonna make it up to you, I swear.” His fingers finally find your clit, heat welling between your thighs. It takes a Herculean effort to stay still, not react beyond your involuntary gasp, but the proud little smile on Matty’s face is worth it. “Good girl. Tell Daddy what you want, angel.”

You nod, swallowed in hazy pleasure as he rubs slow circles over your clit. “Want you to fuck me,” you choke out, your throat closing in overwhelming arousal.

Matty rolls on top of you, connecting your lips in a messy kiss. “Of course, baby. You okay like this? Wanna watch your pretty face while I fuck you.”

“Please,” you breathe. Matty doesn’t tease, just rubs gentle circles over your clit as he enters you, moaning softly into your mouth. Your hips roll, desire pooling under your skin as he fucks you slow and deep.

“God, missed havin’ you like this,” he breathes, his head falling into your shoulder. “Oh, darling, I know, I know. Daddy’s here, I’ve got you, okay?” he murmurs as you whimper softly, languid, bone-deep pleasure rolling over you. Matty’s eyes are liquid with affection, his lips curving into an unconscious smile.

His lips find yours again, your tongues sliding together as punched-out gasps fall from your lips in time with his smooth, measured thrusts. It’s immeasurably intense, Matty playing your body like a symphony, and you’re powerless to do anything but whine and writhe. “Thank you s’much, Daddy. Feels so fucking good,” you whimper, locking your legs around his waist. The change in angle is glorious, ecstasy winding through your bloodstream as Matty rubs circles into your clit.

“Good girl,” Matty murmurs, “Such a good girl for Daddy. My girl, my fucking girl. Wish I could keep you all sweet and cockdrunk for me all the fuckin’ time. Fuckin’ wish I could have you as my little kept girl, have this pussy at home waitin’ for me every fuckin’ night,” he groans, the familiar fantasy spiralling through your mind. He murmurs soft, sugary words into your ear, liquid desire melting your brain until you’re sure it must be dripping from your ears, soaking the sheets under your hair. “So, so pretty, darling. Look so gorgeous while I’m fucking you, god.”

You glow at the praise, heat thrumming under your skin as his hips meet yours over and over. You’re practically delirious, lost in thick, syrupy pleasure, the lewd sound of skin meeting filling the room. “Mmh, oh, my God, fuck—” you gasp, pleasure coiling tight in your belly as you dig your nails into his back. “M’gonna cum, Daddy, oh, my God, need it s’bad. Wanna cum, wanna make you cum, shit. Need to feel it, need you to fill me up, make me yours, God, please!”

“Fuck, such a good girl,” Matty gasps, his rhythm faltering as he gets closer. “Can hold on for me, just for a second, yeah? Wanna cum together,” he adds, and you whine, rolling your hips up against him and trembling with the effort of holding your orgasm at bay. He fucks into you with deep, sloppy thrusts, moaning into your mouth and pinching your clit. Garbled moans of fuck and yes and Daddy stumble from your lips, sticky, hot desire dripping from your cunt as you writhe under him. “Fuck, princess, you ready?” Matty gasps against your lips.

“Yeah, m’ready, Daddy, c’mon. Cum in me, fill up this slutty little pussy. M’yours, your good girl, your little cumdump. God, need it s’bad,” you moan, breaking into a whine as Matty spills inside you with a groan. Your orgasm follows a split-second later, moaning against Matty’s mouth with stardust glittering in your veins. Euphoria scorches under your skin, your head floating clear of your body as pleasure floods you, gasping and moaning. “Thank you,” you say dopily, smiling up at him as he pulls out. You widen your legs to watch his cum dripping out of you, pooling obscene and sticky on the mattress.

Matty watches you with a laugh. “Little cumslut,” he says fondly.

“Your little cumslut,” you smirk, stretching out your sore muscles. “When I said anything you want, I meant anything,” you grin. “Want me to be your little kept girl? Cook and clean for you while you look all pretty and important?”

He chuckles. “First of all, I’ve seen what you think passes for a meal, princess. Don’t know how you haven’t poisoned yourself.” You swat his shoulder, laughing. “Second of all, if you can stand right now, I haven’t worked hard enough,” he says, a smirk pulling at his lips. 

“You’re lucky I like you cocky,” you tease, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth and testing your weight on your feet as you stand. Matty catches you as you stumble slightly, I told you so written plainly on his face. “Don’t,” you warn, before it can leave his mouth.

“Y’know, I think I like the sound of having a little housewife for the day,” he grins, your stomach tying itself in a knot at the word wife from his lips. “C’mon, sweet girl, I’m sure we can find something for you to occupy yourself with while you’re waitin’ for me to fuck you dumb again, huh?” he teases, your thighs clenching at the words. You bend to reach for your clothes, and he tsks softly. “Didn’t say you could get dressed, did I, angel?”

“No, Daddy. I won’t.” You swallow thickly, following him downstairs, feeling shockingly exposed in the glare of the sunlight pooling from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Matty’s cum trickles down your thighs as you hover beside him.

“Make us some tea, would you, darling?” he says, casual like you’re not naked and dripping cum on his pristine kitchen floor. “Shame you haven’t got a little apron, or something. Think I’d go a bit crazy, seein’ you in my kitchen dripping wet in nothing but an apron and a smile. Gotta teach you how to cook someday, if you wanna be my kept girl,” he continues, still maddeningly conversational as your cunt pulses wantonly at his words. “Tea, darling? Or have I got you too dumb for that without even touching you?” he teases.

Almost mechanically, you fill the kettle and flick it on, dropping a teabag into a mug for him and wrinkling your nose unsubtly. “Can I have a coffee? I don’t do tea.”

Matty laughs. “Course, princess. Want you to make yourself at home. Coffee’s just down there.” He points to a cupboard near your feet, stroking over the curve of your ass as you bend over. You don’t realise his game until you scan the contents of the cupboard and find nothing but pots and pans, and his fingers are tracing your messy, sensitive cunt. “Oops, did I say down?” he deadpans, reaching above your head to open another cupboard. “I meant up.”

“Perv,” you tease, retrieving the tin of coffee as the kettle whistles.

“Can’t help it,” he murmurs, dipping his head to kiss softly at your neck and jaw. “Too fucking gorgeous. Can’t believe you’re all mine.”

You giggle, breaking his hold to pour your drinks. “Can’t believe it took us this long. We’re idiots, kind of.”

“A bit,” he chuckles, accepting his tea and taking a sip. “So, what did you say? To that boy?” he asks, and you roll your eyes.

“No, obviously. Felt so guilty taking his number. Deleted it in the car,” you admit, staring into your coffee to avoid his gaze.

“Good girl,” he praises. “Knew nobody could fuck you like me, right? Nobody could treat you as good?”

You flush, setting your drink down and hopping up onto the counter, crossing your legs behind his back as he crowds into your space. “No, Daddy. Only you, I promise.”

Matty cups your jaw. “That’s right, princess. All mine. And I’m yours,” he says, cupping your jaw and connecting your lips in a searing kiss, drinking in the taste of you as you pour your emotions into his mouth. “So perfect, such a perfect girl for me,” he says, sucking a bruise into your skin and working his way down. He presses kisses over your tits, one hand coming up to play with a peaked bud as he wraps his lips around the other. You whine, arching your back and pushing against his attentions, a low buzz of pleasure growing in the back of your skull. “Love these tits so much, baby. So fucking perfect,” he murmurs against your skin, pressing a kiss in the valley of your breasts and tracing his fingers down, your muscles tensing at his touch. Desire whirls in your stomach, your head light and skin loose on your bones. He drops to his knees on the cool tile floor, kissing your knees as he spreads your legs wider, eyes blowing impossibly wider at the sight of your dripping cunt. “God, made such a mess of you, huh, princess? Want Daddy to get you cleaned up?”

“Please,” you gasp, threading a hand in his curls as he kisses the tender skin of your inner thigh. “Daddy, please. Want your mouth,” you whimper, moaning when his lips meet your slick skin. The pressure between your thighs is instant and familiar, mounting as Matty laps at your folds. He pulls off to bite at your thighs, scraping over his own fading bruises, faint pain tangling with pleasure under your overheated skin. His tongue is hungry as it fucks into you, his moans vibrating gloriously through you as you cling to the counter for dear life.

Your hips grind against his face, euphoria spiralling through you, stoking the fire low in your belly. “That’s it, princess. Gonna help Daddy get you off? My pretty little cockdrunk slut, need it all the time, right?” he murmurs, rubbing circles into your clit as he buries his tongue back into you. You can’t fucking think, everything in your brain drowned out by lips, tongue, teeth, Matty.

“Fuck, yes, Daddy, feels s’fucking good,” you whine, burying your hand in his curls and dragging him even closer, his tongue impossibly deep inside you as you clench around the muscle. Heat unspools in your belly, licking under your skin and setting your blood on fire, your hips rocking unbidden against his mouth. You cry out as Matty wraps his lips around your clit, pleasure-pain screaming from your still-sensitive nerves, all his attention focused on your swollen bud. “Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God,” you gasp, pulse jackhammering between your thighs, so fast you’re scared it’ll set off dynamite in your chest.

“Yeah?” Matty smirks up at you, his lips and chin soaked in your arousal. You’re close, embarrassingly so, his tongue sloppy and greedy as he devours your cunt. His quiet moans into your cunt are intensely gratifying, amplifying the ecstasy kicking wildly under your skin. “God, you’re so pretty fallin’ apart like this. Could live between these pretty thighs, princess.” In response, you tighten them around his head, savouring his little gasp as his tongue returns to your cunt, licking over your hole with fervour. Your eyes roll back in your head, swimming dizzily in ecstasy, your cunt throbbing with need.

Your entire body is tense, muscles clenched and expectant as Matty tongue-fucks you within an inch of your life. “M’so close, Daddy, wanna cum,” you whimper, chasing the pleasure that coils tight around your veins, your vision blurring as euphoria chokes you.

Matty circles his fingers over your clit, his callouses scraping deliciously over your tender skin. “Cum for me whenever you’re ready, princess. Wanna feel you fallin’ apart on my tongue. Sweetest fuckin’ girl in the world,” he murmurs, pulling your clit into his mouth and sucking hard, a scream tearing free from your throat. Molten desire pools in your belly, your body humming with energy begging to be released. “Come on, darling, let me hear you. Give me everything you’ve got,” he moans, your cunt dripping on his tongue.

“Oh, fuck, m’cumming, Daddy, fuck! Oh, God, feels s’good, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimper, pure pleasure breaking you wide open, your vision whiting out as Matty’s tongue curls deep inside of you. You throb around him, every muscle in your body suddenly jelly, his hands on your thighs the only thing anchoring you to reality. Matty gets to his feet with a smirk, wordlessly prising your jaw open and sliding his wet fingers into your mouth.

You wrap your fingers around his tongue, sucking and licking the taste of you off his skin and moaning softly. “Good girl. You look so fucking gorgeous when you cum, princess.” He catches your lips in a messy kiss, your slick on his tongue as it sweeps your mouth, his hands finding your hips and pulling you close. “You up for a little day out, angel? Wanna show off my pretty girl, make everyone jealous of me.”

You giggle. “I told you. Anything you want. If you want to bend me over and show the entire fucking world who I belong to, I’ll drop my panties right then and there, promise.”

Matty’s jaw clenches, nails digging into your hips. “Don’t want anyone else seeing you like that, ever,” he growls. “C’mon, princess, go and get dressed. Got a busy day planned,” he grins.

“When did you have time to plan a day out?” you scoff, hopping to your feet and heading back up the stairs.

“Wanted to take you out and ask you to be my girlfriend, but that part got wrecked. I still wanna spoil you, baby.” He wraps an arm around your waist and presses a kiss into your hair.

You melt into his touch, leaning into him with a soft, private smile. “You’re too sweet,” you say, pulling away from him to step into your discarded underwear and jeans, turning to rifle through his drawers. After a few moments, you find what you were looking for, a shirt that must be a remnant of some distant, misspent youth; so small it’s almost your size, and it must have been cropped short on him because it barely brushes the hem of your jeans. “Did you actually wear this?” you laugh, turning this way and that as you admire how surprisingly well the shirt flatters you.

Matty laughs. “Told you, I was in a band in my twenties. Made some questionable fashion choices, but I made it work.”

Your eyes light up. “You have to show me. Please, I have got to see what you looked like when you fit into this,” you plead, and he scoffs.

“Nah. Looks better on you, anyway,” he says, sliding a pair of sunglasses over your eyes and kissing your cheek, brushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Have you got a jacket? It’s fucking cold, for June,” he comments, a poor attempt at sounding casual.

It’s not that cold, and he knows damn well you don’t have a jacket. “Hmm, nope.” You pop the ‘p’ obnoxiously. “Guess I’ll have to borrow one of yours,” you say airily, as if that wasn’t his obvious fucking game all along. He slides a leather jacket over your shoulders, well-worn and smelling like him, and your reflection stops you dead. You look fucking hot. You look like a rich man’s scandalously young girlfriend, the graceful lines of him slotting perfectly into the picture. You snap a sweet photo of the two of you as he kisses your temple, and you giggle up at him.

“God, never gonna get over how gorgeous you look wearin’ my clothes, darling,” he murmurs, giving your ass a little smack and hurrying you into the car. His hand is familiar on your thigh as he drives, the warmth of his touch soaking into your skin and fizzing up in your chest. He presses kisses to your cheek at every red light, his gaze adoring every time it lands on you.

You share a lazy, light breakfast, trading kisses over pastries and coffee; yours heaped with cream and sugar and his bitter and black. Matty listens as you explain your friends’ petty little dramas, nodding or frowning at all the right moments but wise enough not to weigh in. He presses you against the car when you leave, digging one hand into your hair and the other into your waist and kissing the sugary-almond taste out of your mouth. “Pretty girl,” he praises, smiling as you flush. 

“Sweet boy,” you murmur, kissing his nose as he pulls back and opens the passenger-side door for you. “Such a gentleman,” you giggle, sliding into your seat. You fiddle with the radio, turning to him expectantly when the car stays in park. “Thought you had the whole day planned out?”

“I do,” he grins. “Just waitin’ for you to tell me where you like to shop, angel.” 

You smile, rattling off a list that comes as easily as breathing. “Are you gonna take me shopping?” you giggle as the engine purrs to life. “Won’t you get bored?”

“Nah,” he shrugs, reversing out of the car park. “I’ll be like the male lead in a romcom, carrying all your bags and following you like a lost puppy. It’ll be well funny,” he chuckles, and you can’t help but laugh, the image of him laden with shopping he’s paying for and wandering around a boutique looking slightly mystified frankly adorable.

“You’d make a good movie star. Just about pretty enough.” Matty gives an offended scoff and lights a cigarette, sulkily facing away from you as he takes a drag. An old favourite song crackles through the radio and you sing along, uninhibited and happy and maybe even a little in love.

Matty smiles at you indulgently as you start flipping through clothing racks, running your fingers through the fabric and musing which pieces already in your closet they’d pair well with. You pull out a pretty little summer dress, white and lacy with pink florals, and hold it up without looking at the price tag. “What do you think?” you grin, watching him picture you wearing it with a sleazy smile.

“If you want it, it’s yours,” he shrugs. “Go wild, princess.” Not one to look a gift horse, you take him at his word, draping the dress over your arm and fluttering off to flip through the skirts. A scandalously short leather mini catches your eye, and you hold it against your hips thoughtfully.

Matty’s jaw tightens unsubtly. “Oh, don’t be such a boy,” you tease. “I’ll model it for you later,” you add with a grin, and his hands fly to your waist and pull you in.

“Please don’t get me all worked up, sweetheart,” he pleads against your lips. “Don’t wanna have to cut this short because I had to bring you home and take what I need from you, do you?”

Your insides melt into liquid and you flush, heat slick under your skin. “Tempting,” you smirk. “Later tonight?”

His eyes darken, sparkling with allure. “I’m counting the minutes,” he murmurs against your lips, taking an inappropriately greedy handful of your ass and pressing his lips against yours.

Your knees go weak when Matty licks into your mouth, his tongue hedonistic and clever and sure. You indulge yourself in his kiss for a few moments, his body pressing against yours as he threads a hand into your hair. “Mmh, stop trying to distract me,” you say, voice slightly rough with desire. “I’m gonna bleed you dry, darling.”

Matty grins. “Do your worst, angel.”

And you certainly try your fucking hardest, piling his arms high with blouses and dresses and skirts; lipsticks and powders and creams; pumps and heels and sandals. When Matty starts dragging his feet, you take pity on him and pull him into the lingerie section, his jaw going slightly slack as he stares around; he looks vaguely guilty, like he’s been caught somewhere he shouldn’t.

You pluck a delicate, white corset off the rack, holding it up musingly. “How about this? Might be cute with one of those skirts?” Matty swallows thickly, clearly stuck for words that won’t get the pair of you banned from the store and maybe arrested for lewd behaviour.

“I like it.” He clears his throat. “A lot.”

You grin mischievously. “I have an idea, Daddy,” you murmur, the word a delicious taboo as it slips from your lips, scandalously inappropriate on the wide-open shop floor. “Should get yourself some presents, too. Pick some stuff out for me?”

A filthy smirk splits his face, and you shiver, a thrill running up your spine. Matty, it turns out, has extremely discerning tastes, at least when it comes to lingerie. Everything he chooses is carefully considered, holding the lace against your skin to consider the colour, the shape, the cut of the piece and how it’ll sit on your body. You end up heaped with a pile of bras and panties, corsets and teddies, babydoll dresses and chemises, slightly dizzy at the thought of dressing up in them for him.

“Think that’s more than enough to keep us both happy, don’t you, princess?” he grins, leading you to the counter. It takes aeons to get you rung up, and you feel a little faint at the sight of the total; it’s more than five thousand pounds. Matty doesn’t even look fazed, though, kissing you softly and swiping his card like it’s nothing. It’s maybe a little embarrassing, but you feel a faint tingle of arousal at him taking such a massive sum in stride.

You drape yourself across him as he loads your bags into the car, pressing grateful kisses anywhere you can reach. “Thank you, Daddy. Too good to me. Tell me how I can make it up to you.”

Matty smiles, wide and warm and so fucking sweet you can taste the honey dripping from his mouth. “Don’t need to, angel. Just let me spoil you. Like seein’ you happy after I was such a little bitch before. M’sorry, sweet girl.”

You laugh as you slide into the car beside him. “I’ve accepted worse apologies for worse things from far worse men. I think we’re more than even now.” You run your hand over his thigh, cupping his cock with a smirk. “How about I put on a little fashion show for you when we get back? Call it even when I can’t even remember my own name?”

He grins. “You are filthy,” he says delightedly, throwing on a burst of speed that pins you against the seat, suddenly desperate to get the pair of you into a bedroom. 

Matty’s mouth is ravenous on yours as soon as you’re alone, dropping the bags to grip your waist hungrily and pull you flush against him. “Mmh, hold on,” you say, breaking away regretfully. “Don’t you wanna see me all dolled up for you, Daddy?”

Groaning, Matty slides his hands down to your waist, spanking you when you bend over to retrieve your bags. A pulse of wanton arousal throbs stickily between your legs, an involuntary moan rumbling from your lips. “Pretty little slut,” he mumbles approvingly. “Wanna get that pretty ass all red for me, god.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you murmur, straightening up and leaning back against him. “Anything you want.” He follows you up the stairs, making himself comfortable on the bed as you slip into the bathroom and change. You primp and preen, experimenting with lip swatches and sparkling eyeshadow, switching out your outfit until you’re satisfied. 

Matty is waiting on the bed when you slip back into the room. The sight of him, his legs spread wide and clad only in boxers with one hand lazily palming his cock through the fabric, is almost enough to make you abandon your plans. “D’you like the skirt now, Daddy?” you ask, pulling the waistband down to reveal the scrap of deep-red satin clinging to your waist.

“Mmm, I don’t know if I’m quite convinced yet, princess,” he teases. “Think you should show me what it looks like off.”

A heavy pulse of want wells between your thighs, and you grin. “Let me put on a little show for you, first.” You cue up a carefully-curated playlist, swaying your hips in time with the beat and slowly peeling off your shirt. Matty’s breath catches at the sight of you, groaning low in his throat, the sound going straight to your cunt.

Turning and bending over right on cue, you shake your ass, flashing your panties under the skirt; Matty moans outright. “So gorgeous, princess. Gettin’ me so fucking hard, god,” he groans, and as you turn to face him, you’re treated to the sight of him freeing his cock, slowly pumping it and watching you intently. Your skirt slides to the floor as Matty fucks into his fist, delicious, gasping little moans tumbling from his lips. “Fuck, c’mere, please,” he pleads, gaze fixed on you as you stalk to the edge of the bed.

“Wanna sample the merchandise, huh?” you tease, straddling his lap and grinding down on his cock. Matty’s hands come up to your tits, palming and squeezing greedily as your head falls forward to meet his lips. You let him grope you for a few long, delicious minutes, his hands finding your hips, your waist, your ass and digging in. Then, you hop off his lap, and Matty whines. “I’ve still got more stuff to try on,” you grin, slipping away and changing into a sheer-white babydoll with a matching thong.

Matty chokes on air at the sight of you, and you smile angelically, kneeling at the foot of the bed. “God, gonna drive me crazy, darling. Need to fuck you so bad,” he groans, his cock flushed red and dripping as it disappears into his fist.

You giggle. “M’glad you picked this one, Daddy. D’you wanna know what I thought when I saw it?” He nods, dazed and practically drooling. “I thought, ‘That’s what I wanna wear around the house when I’m bein’ a good little housewife for my Daddy,’” you murmur, and Matty has a physical reaction, shuddering as his eyes go wide, the fantasy playing clear as day on his face.

“Fuck, princess,” he groans. “Angel. Darling. Sweet girl. Come here. Let me fuck you, please,” he begs, hips shifting needily as he pumps his cock.

Draping yourself over his lap, you smile blithely up at him. “You promised to spank me, Daddy,” you pout, and Matty gives a filthy smirk, tracing his fingers over your panties as you shudder and squirm.

“Such a filthy little slut, god,” he murmurs. “This sweet little ass is gonna look so pretty covered in my handprints, baby. Gonna remind you who you belong to every time you sit down, yeah?”

Arousal swirls through your body, wanton need dripping from your neglected cunt. “Belong to you, Daddy. Your girl— ah!” you gasp as Matty’s hand comes down, meeting your ass harshly. A long, low moan pulls from your throat, sweet pain tangling with the burning need under your skin. “Yes, Daddy, fuck. Please, more,” you whimper, face pressed against the sheets as you sink deeper into glorious submission. Three more smacks come in quick succession, the flesh of your ass flaming under his touch.

Matty kneads your tender skin gently, soothing before he delivers another hit, the pain washing over you and coiling into thick, palpable pleasure under your skin. “Love this pretty ass so much, princess,” he praises.

“Want you to fuck me there, one day,” you say dreamily, so lost in desire-slick fantasies that you don’t even process the admission as it falls from your lips. “Wanna be yours. Every single hole,” you murmur, eyes lidded and voice rough with lust. Matty freezes, and you tense. God, was that a weird thing to say? Too early to admit it? Is he gonna think you’re actually a slut now?

A moan of pure, unfiltered lust falls from his mouth and your thighs clench, the fabric of your panties soaked and sticky between your thighs. “Fuck, you can’t say things like that, princess. Gonna make me fuckin’ cum before I’ve even fucked you,” he murmurs, voice low and raked over gravel, thick with lust. His fingers tease over your clit through your panties, and you arch up into his touch, whimpering.

“Then fuck me,” you plead. “Please, Daddy. Want you.” Matty grins, manhandling you until you’re laying on your front, pleasure tense in your belly as he slides your panties to the side. 

Your cunt clenches around nothing, gasping and pleading softly as the sheets dig into your cheek. “This okay, angel? Wanna watch the bruises come up on your pretty little ass.”

Lifting your hips, you shake your ass at him, a smirk pulling at your lips. “Gonna think about fucking it, Daddy?” He groans, the sound going straight to your core, slick cunt dripping as you press against him. “S’okay if you do. I have been. When I’m alone, when I want you, fucking myself on my fingers and thinkin’ about you stretching me out there. Would feel so fucking— Ohh,” you break into a moan as Matty enters you with no warning, meeting no resistance from your soaked cunt.

“So fucking wet for me, princess. So fucking filthy, playing with that needy cunt and thinkin’ about me fucking your ass, god,” he groans, dipping his head to kiss between your shoulder blades. A shudder runs through you, the stretch and burn between your thighs familiar, the ache soothing.

Your cunt throbs, thick pulses of arousal hammering in time with your racing heart. “Harder, Daddy, please,” you whine, arching your back. Dizzying lust envelops you, your head hazy and light, practically floating clear of your body. A shocked moan escapes you as Matty spanks you again, pain sinking into pleasure that coils tightly through your insides. 

“Don’t be greedy, darling,” he chides. “C’mon, lift your hips a little for Daddy, okay?” Unthinkingly, you obey, letting him puppeteer you, mould you into whatever shape he likes. “Good girl,” he murmurs, sliding a pillow under your hips. You glow at the praise, nails scraping the sheets when he fucks deep into you, the change in angle sending waves of pleasure spilling over you.

“Ngh, Daddy, fuck,” you whimper, your words coming out garbled where your face presses into the sheets. Incoherent moans of please and fuck and I need and Daddy stumble from your lips, your body melting into a pleasure-soaked haze as Matty fucks deep into you.

Your hips meet obscenely, lewd sounds filling the room as your world narrows down to the four walls, aware of nothing but him. “That’s it, princess. Let it all out, let Daddy hear those pretty noises, yeah? Nobody else gets to hear you like this, right?” he coos, pinching your clit and moaning softly as your cunt clenches around him reflexively.

“N-no,” you promise shakily, struggling to pull the words to the forefront of your mind, delirious with pleasure. “Only you, Daddy. Only one who can fuck me like this. So fucking good.” You choke on a gasp, Matty’s hips meeting yours over and over, your vision swimming, your body set adrift in an ocean of sheer ecstasy. 

“Such a sweet girl,” Matty murmurs, teasing your clit as you whine powerlessly. Seemingly just for the fun of it, he slaps your ass again, the sweet sting tearing you open. Pleasure rushes through you, cradling your very organs, stoking a fire that chars your bones. “God, I love your pretty ass, darling. Can’t wait to fuck this tight little hole.” His words sink into your skin, wrapping tight around your sore muscles, ecstasy coiling in your veins. With what feels like a monumental effort, you rock your hips up towards him, Matty impossibly deep inside you.

The tip of his cock brushes that perfect spot inside you, sending a bright jolt of pure euphoria fizzing up your spine. A keening wail falls from your lips, a loud, uninhibited sound of undiluted pleasure. “Gettin’ close, angel? Wanna cum for your Daddy?” You nod wildly, indistinct, stifled pleas tumbling from your lips like prayers. “Go on, princess, cum for me. Cum all over my fuckin’ cock, make me cum.” In that same obedient, thoughtless way, you do. You choke and whimper and whine, drool pooling in your mouth and dripping out against the sheets as you moan the only word you know: Daddy. Euphoria burns white-hot under your skin, melting your organs until your body is made of liquid desire, messily strung together by flimsy ligaments. Matty’s touch is the only thing anchoring you to reality, your head still hazy as you drift back to Earth.

Matty’s pace is erratic, frenzied and wild and hot as your cunt pulses with aftershocks. “Cum on me,” you beg. “On my cunt, on my tits, on my face, I don't care. Just wanna see it, wanna feel it, want you to mark me, make me yours,” you plead, and Matty groans. He gives your ass one more swift smack for good measure and flips you over, your bruised skin screaming in protest as it presses into the sheets. Three quick passes of his fist over his cock and he’s cumming, white ropes splashing across your belly and up to your tits, painting your skin in a filthy, lurid display. “Thank you, Daddy,” you murmur as he breathes heavily above you. “Love bein’ your little cumdump.”

His head tips back, a disbelieving laugh bubbling free. “Such a good, sweet, pretty girl with such a filthy mouth, princess. So fuckin’ hot.” You smile proudly, dragging your fingers through his mess and sucking the taste of him off them. Matty’s eyes go wide, his head falling to lap at the skin between your tits, kissing and sucking ravenously at them. He makes his way up and presses his lips to yours, the taste of him smearing between your mouths, the kiss a filthy thing, alive with desire. “You’re beautiful,” he mumbles, hushed like he isn’t even aware of the words, and you flush.

“So are you,” you smile as he falls next to you, gazing adoringly into your eyes as your chests heave.

“We should get cleaned up,” he says with a weak chuckle, and you mumble an affirmative without even pretending to move. “Just a minute, princess, then I’ll get you cleaned up, cook us some dinner, yeah?” he promises, kissing you gently as your eyes flutter closed. Of course, the pair of you wake an hour or so later, dried cum on your belly and crusting into your brand-new lingerie, your thighs uncomfortably wet and sticking. Matty carries you into the bath, takes gentle care of you, the promised meal waiting when you pull yourself out of the now-lukewarm water. Pillar candles glow atop the dining table, the light sparkling off your wine glasses, and your heart melts.

It doesn’t take long for you to fall deeply, irrevocably in love with him; every passing day reveals something new to adore. The words spring to your lips at any and all moments, both opportune and not, and it starts to become a real struggle to swallow them back down. You don’t want to be too much, too soon, and truthfully you’re scared of what his answer will be, and even more so of how you’ll react.

Your private-not-secret relationship is your so-called friends’ favourite topic of discussion, so much so that you’re afraid it’ll get back to your parents before you’re ready for them to know. You try to keep them happy with minor tidbits, throw them off with misdirections (yes, he’s older; no, I won’t tell you by how much; no, my parents don’t know him), but their endless reserves of intrusion are starting to wear you down. Thea is your only confidante, the only one besides Matty himself who knows the ins and outs, and you’re fucking dying for someone new to brag and gush to. So when Matty texts you one day in mid-August, asking if you want to meet his friends, you jump at the chance.

My friends are absolutely desperate to meet you, by the way

Insist they have to meet this girl I won’t shut up about

I’ve been told to tell you Emerald Hill at 10pm on Saturday, and not to take no for an answer

If that tells you what kind of a bunch they are, fair warning

i’d love to :)

come pick me up at 8? then we’ll have time to get presentable before we have to go ;)

By the time Saturday rolls around, you’re practically fizzing with excitement, much to your parents’ suspicion — they’ve been sceptical all summer of how happy you’ve been, curious glances and pursed lips every time you so much as smile at your phone. The excitement has turned to nerves as you’re leaving Matty’s, though, roiling in your gut as you obsess over every detail that could go wrong. Matty wraps comforting arms around your waist from behind, kissing the top of your head and holding you close, the thump of his heartbeat at your back soothing. “Stop worryin’ so much, love. S’gonna be fine, okay?” He gives a boyish little grin as he opens the car for you. “Can’t wait for you to meet my boys. All my favourite people in one place,” he says, and you smile softly, that warm, fizzing affection you don’t want to give a name to creeping up your chest.

Matty lets you choose the music as you drive, shaking his head every time you queue up another glitter-gel-pen pop song. He takes your hand and leads you into the bar, a classy little place tucked into a street corner, his eyes lighting up as he catches sight of whoever you’re here to meet, swallowed into a bear hug by a tall blond when he reaches the table.

“Ah, mate, it’s been too long,” the other man says, pulling back and offering you a hand. “George.”

You look up into his face and your jaw drops. The hot DJ from that fateful night at 102 grins down at you, and your eyes widen as you try to take back your composure. Swallowing your tongue, you smile and give your name, taking a seat as Matty pulls a chair out for you. Just as you’re getting over that shock, you lock eyes with Charli and she smirks back at you.

“Sunshine Baby!” she exclaims. “Fancy seeing you here.”

You laugh, the tension in your shoulders loosening at the merest semblance of familiarity. “How do you remember that?” you laugh disbelievingly.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Matty interrupts.

Charli shrugs. “Sort of. Sunshine over here racked up a three hundred quid tab and tipped me a hundred on top. Don’t forget that in a hurry.”

You cover your face in embarrassment. “That makes me sound like an alcoholic,” you groan. “Your fault, by the way.” You poke Matty’s shoulder affectionately. “I was mad at you, practically fucking bought out the bar about it. Entire place got a free drink off me.”

“I like her,” another member of the group chimes in with a laugh. You look up to meet the eyes of the speaker, and– Jesus. One group of friends shouldn’t be allowed to have this many hot people in it. “Ross,” he says, and you smile politely. The last member of the party introduces himself as Adam, and you greet him with a smile, letting yourself get absorbed into rapid conversation and raucous laughter. “Right,” Ross interrupts. “Matty — you’re picking up the tab,” he declares. “Oh, don’t make that face,” he says as Matty scoffs. “Amount you drink, I’m not paying it on a teacher’s salary.”

You giggle. “Aw, give him a break. These days, I’m spending his money faster than he can make it,” you joke, and Charli cackles. You’re pleasantly tipsy, the alcohol loosening your lips and lifting the weight of anxiety in your chest, conversation flowing between you as easily as the wine in your glass. You cling to Matty as you leave, waving cheerful goodbyes and promising to text Charli to arrange a girls’ night.

“I’m gonna regret introducing you two, aren’t I?” Matty sighs, pulling you in close against the unseasonably cold wind, the warmth of his body soothing.

“No,” you giggle. “I love her. Wish I had friends like yours,” you say, wistful and slightly self-pitying as you slide into the car.

Matty cups your cheek, leaning in across the console to press a tender, loving kiss against your lips. “I’m sorry, baby. But you have me. Always gonna have me, yeah?”

Your heart flutters, those three little words rising in your throat once again. “I guess you’re a pretty good consolation prize,” you tease, pushing down the frightening intimacy of the moment with levity.

“Alright, alright,” he chuckles. “Wanna come back with me? Or do you want me to drop you home?”

You scoff. “Is that even a question?”

The rest of your summer passes quickly, too quickly. You spend more time at Matty’s house than home, more and more of your things finding their place there as time passes. You start going to visit him at work without any other justification, every step nerve-wracking as your father’s presence looms. You have one unbelievably close call when he’s in the lobby as you’re leaving, frantically slamming the door close button in the lift before he can turn and spot you. Ruby stays just as hostile, seething at you and muttering warnings that Matty’ll be bored soon every time you pass her by. You take a petty, savage pleasure in tormenting her, just a little, deliberately pulling Matty in for long, filthy kisses as you open his office door.

By the time you can’t put off going back to uni any longer, there’s barely any point in you being home at all. Naturally, Matty offers to be the one to drive you up, and you seize the opportunity to be alone with him for the last time in however fucking long. Your father is privately relieved not to be the one to have to, you can tell, accepting your explanation that Thea’s just passed her test and she’s offered to drive me. You don’t mind, do you? without question. Shows how much he knows; Thea’s failed her practical six times and counting.

When you arrive, Matty insists that you don’t lift a finger, carrying all of your boxes upstairs and giving you something to ogle in the process. You’re the last one back, your housemates smirking at you and nudging each other at the sight of him, fourteen years your senior with grey in his hair, kissing you filthy and unashamed in plain view. Later, you mouth behind his back, their answering giggles reminding you that you do have good friends, after all.

Matty looks devastatingly gorgeous in the late-autumn sunset, leaning against his car with a cigarette dangling from his lips. You snatch it with a smirk, stretching up to peck his lips and taking a deep drag. His smile melts you into goo, your heart hammering so fast it might smash free of your ribcage. If you don’t say it now, you’ll lose your nerve.

“I love you,” you rush out, muffled against his chest as he holds you, arms cradling your body tight and warm and safe. “You don’t have to say it back, I just… I do, and I want you to know.” 

Matty pulls back to look at you, eyes soft with affection and adoration and maybe even something deeper. “Do you know how long I’ve been waitin’ to hear you say that, princess? God, I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much,” he groans, his hands at your waist the only thing keeping you upright as your knees go weak. “Think I might die, havin’ to be without you these next few weeks.” You giggle, giddy with infatuation and devotion and… God, you can just say love, now. “I’ll be back soon, don’t worry. Could never stay away from you.”

[forcryingoutlloud]

omg yes pls something smutty based off guilty as sin im begging

okay yay!!! i’m so excited for this but will it live up to the expectations i have in my head? probably not but i’ll start working on it as soon as :))

[forcryingoutlloud]

okay… it’s been a hot minute

if i said i had something smutty in the works based on ‘guilty as sin?’ is it too fresh yet or do people not care?

also probably won’t be finished for a while as the self deprecating thoughts are crippling but we move

also may start working on an nsfw alphabet??

anyway lmk your thoughts it would be much appreciated :D

[forcryingoutlloud]

the good, the bad and the dirty - matty healy

this is part of the janitor!matty au universe, if you have not read part one then you probably should <3

if you wanna make it through the night, you better say my name like the good, the bad and the dirty.

ever since that friday night in your classroom, you couldn't seem to get the janitor off your mind, desperate to feel his hands on you again. as weeks passed with nothing but winks shot at you across the hallway, it seems like fate when matty ends up being your chaperone parter at prom. lucky you.

minors do not interact!

tags: 18+, degradation, fingering, thigh riding, oral (f receiving), choking, unprotected sex, overstimulation, semi public/public sex, dirty sleazy man

11928 words

Standing in the middle of the school gymnasium, sipping on a cup of punch and surrounded by students dressed in sparkly gowns and tuxedos, you couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. The loud bass of a song you only knew from hearing it on the radio rattled through your bones, the neon lights that illuminated from the DJ booth in the corner of the gym blinded you, the taste of the punch that trickled down your throat lacked the burn of alcohol that you so desperately wished it contained. You needed the buzz to make it through the night, able to name at least fifty other things you’d rather be doing with your Saturday night than chaperoning prom. 

You cursed Alicia for assigning you the role of guarding the punch bowl so none of the students could spike it, finding it ironic that she had chosen you out of all the other teachers to do the task considering you had already thought about turning a blind eye countless times. 

You were much younger than all the rest of the faculty in the school, closer to the students that you taught age than your coworkers, in the middle of your fourth year of teaching since getting your degree. You knew that your younger age played a big part in the reason why the majority of the kids that walked the halls claimed you as their favorite teacher, being twenty six you could relate to them easier than their other teachers who were pushing forty. You loved the way your students were comfortable around you, able to joke around with you yet still be respectful and take you seriously when the time came. 

“I can see you lingering and waiting for me to be distracted.” You snort, giving the captain of the football team a pointed look. “Not gonna happen, Josh. If I were you, I’d go back to my date and forget about spiking the punch.”

The teen huffs, rolling his eyes. “Oh, come on.” Josh begs, knowing that it was useless yet trying to sway you regardless. “It’s my senior year, let me have this.”

“I’m already letting you have a passing grade, which you do not deserve, by the way.” You raise an eyebrow at the student who sighed at the reminder of all the missing assignments he owed you due to the football games that kept him too busy, you couldn’t help but feel sympathetic for all of your students, always known to be lenient when it came to late assignments because you remembered being in their shoes all too well - not too long ago you were begging your high school teachers for an extended due date. “I think I’m giving you more than enough, now go.”

Josh sighs, defeated, dropping his head and walking away from the table that contained the bowl of punch. You take another sip from the red liquid in your cup, humming along to the vaguely familiar song that echoed throughout the gymnasium as you looked around at the students that filled the space. 

You snorted into the cup at the sight of a group of kids who had labeled themselves as “goth” that you didn’t even need to hear to know they were complaining about the music that was playing, you could read it all over their faces. Your eyes slide over to a couple that danced through an evident argument, quick to think of scenarios that two teenagers could possibly be arguing so red faced about, drawing the conclusion that the boy must have asked another girl to dance and shaking your head. You were in the middle of pouting at the sight of a boy who kept to himself sitting all alone in the corner when an all too familiar voice was heard from behind you.

“Well, what a coincidence.” You didn’t even have to turn around to know that the janitor was speaking through a smug smile, his dark eyes traveling down the back of your frame, only to be confirmed when you turned around to face him. The man before you didn’t even bother to bring his eyes up to meet your own quickly to try and pretend as though he wasn’t checking you out, keeping his eyes glued to your exposed legs, the corners of his mouth twitching as you shift under his heated gaze.

You found yourself regretting your decision of turning Josh and his flask full of alcohol away, wishing that you had allowed the student to spike the punch, needing the buzz more than ever now that his dark eyes were slowly traveling up the expanse of your bare legs. You grip the cup of punch between your manicured fingers a little tighter as his eyes linger on the spot where the hem of your dress meets your thigh, the corners of his mouth twitching once more before he allows his eyes to continue their journey up your body until they find home locked with your own. 

“That dress is almost too scandalous for a school event.” He comments off-handedly with a deep, raspy tone, raising an eyebrow at you. You admit that you might be slightly overdressed just to chaperone a school dance, but ever since becoming a teacher, you rarely got the chance to dress up anymore. You were always trying to find a way to dress modestly yet still incorporate your style when dressing for work and too busy grading tests and papers on the weekends to make use of the dresses bought with the intention of being worn out to the bar.

Tonight, you thought that you’d blow the dust off of one of the cherry wine dresses stuffed towards the back of your closet, still covering your skin to where it was appropriate to wear on school ground yet clinging to your body in all the right places that you couldn’t argue with Matty’s claim of ‘almost too scandalous.’ Matty drinks in the sight of you, you found it hard to breathe under his heated stare, his voice deep and raspy as he spoke. “But you look damn good in it.”

You bring the cup of punch up to your lips, hoping the liquid that trickled down your throat would cool the heat that was already beginning to swirl in your stomach at the sight of him. “Hi, Matty.”

It had been a few weeks since the night the two of you shared in your classroom after hours on a Friday night and even though the memory of the things he had said to you burned through your mind on a constant loop, despite the way he had made you feel and the fact that you had tried to recreate it almost every single night since then, you had yet to talk to the janitor since. The two of you had shared countless heated, knowing stares across the hallway in passing since that night, if there was one thing you could count on, it was Matty’s dark eyes giving you a once over anytime you were walking down the hallway to walk to the breakroom or your classroom, unashamed and always full of desire. 

Much like they were now, eyes dark as ever as he flashes his pearly whites at you. “Hi, sweetheart.”

You curse the butterflies that dared to flutter in your stomach at the name, soon dying in the lake of fire that consumed your veins at the sight of his arms crossing over his chest. You knew that you were gawking at the janitor, but you couldn’t help it, not when the sleeves of his white dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows - his tattoos on display despite the fact that you were at a school event, a small sign of rebellion that made thrill tingle at your spine. The muscles in his arms strained against the fabric of the dress shirt, you were sure he was flexing them somehow, if the smirk on his face when you finally brought your attention away from his arms and back to his face told you anything. You felt like a dumb, lovestruck teenager with the way just the sight of the man had your legs feeling unsteady and your heart racing. 

You swallow thickly, setting your nearly empty cup of punch down on the table behind you, leaning against the wood covered with a cheap tablecloth and crossing your own arms over your chest, the sight of Matty’s eyes falling down to your chest for a split second didn’t go unnoticed by you. You fight off a smirk of your own as you tilt your head to the side, squinting your eyes at the janitor ever so slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” Matty starts, uncrossing his arms from over his chest and taking a step closer to you. “Alicia put me on punch duty with you, lucky me.” He smiles, shrugging. “Only had to slip her a five dollar bill to sway her.” He teases, laughing along soft and easy when a huff of laughter exhales from your nose as you roll your eyes. “What? Aren’t you happy to see me?” He pouts, slight but still dramatic, the pout soon stretching back into a smirk that might as well be permanent at this point. “Thought you’d be over the moon considering what happened the last time.”

The memory of teeth, tongue and thrusts burn in your mind, flushing your cheeks. “Funny, I thought Coach Jackson was supposed to be my partner for the night.” You recall seeing his name next to your own on the sheet Alicia had made for tonight, but you weren’t complaining, Matty was a major upgrade from the coach - it was just going to be even harder for you to not get distracted now that he was crowding your space. “I didn’t even know you were on the list of chaperones, I’m surprised they asked you.”

“What?” Matty gasps, faux offended, voice full of sarcasm. “Am I not allowed to attend an event to show my school spirit?” You fix him with a pointed look that had him breaking character and raising his hands in defense. “Fine.” He sighs. “Coach Jackson has a stomach bug, so he called me and asked if I’d fill in for him.” You nod along to the explanation, taking a mental note not to interact too closely with the coach come Monday morning in case any of the germs from the illness lingered. “And what do you mean by that, sweetheart? You don’t think I’m capable of watching over some teenagers for a few hours?”

“No.” You shrug. “I just didn’t think a place like this would be your scene, you know?”

Your eyes falling down to the collar of his shirt, heat swirling in your stomach at the sight of a black tie loosely tied around his neck, hanging off of his neck as if he had been tugging on it all night. Oh, how you wished to tug on it now, pulling his face down to yours and crashing his mouth against your own, eager to get a taste of the cigarettes that you knew lingered on his tongue from the one he smoked on his drive over here.

Matty takes another step closer and from the way he was towering over you, staring down at you as if he could eat you alive, you could only assume that he was thinking the same thing. 

You hesitate before reaching out to take the end of his tie between two of your manicured nails, indulging yourself and tugging on it ever so slightly before tossing it out of your hold, Matty’s adams apple bobbing in his throat at the action. You shrug, feeling a little more powerful now that Matty was shifting under your gaze now.

“I mean, I didn’t even know you owned a tie.” You take in the sight of his appearance unashamed, the way his curls were ever so slightly damp and actually styled for once, instead of hastily pushed back out of his eyes, the way his seemingly permanent stubble had been freshly shaven, the smell of his cologne lingering in the small space between the two of you. You flutter your eyelashes at him, doe eyes staring up at him and causing his adams apple to bob in his throat once more at the sight. “You clean up nice.”

Matty’s tongue peaks out to lick along the expanse of his bottom lip, the corners of his mouth twitching up as his dark eyes scan your face, reaching up to the knot on his tie and tugging on it slightly to loosen it more, voice deep and teasing. “Had to pull it out of my box that I keep hidden under my bed.” 

Your stomach flips at the idea of Matty keeping a box full of things that needed to be hidden under his bed, mind whirling at the possibilities of what it could contain - toys, ties, anything you’d expect a man as sleazy as him to own. You suddenly had a craving to know what he was hiding away, desperate to know more about him. You pick your forgotten cup of punch back up from the cloth covered table behind you, raising an eyebrow as well as the cup, teasing over the rim of the plastic before taking a sip. “Kinky.”

Matty smiles easily, dangerously, eyeing you up and down before taking another step forward, the tips of his shoes touching your own. You swallow down the rest of your punch at the feeling, at the close proximity to the janitor, at the desire to take him right here on the table behind you. You have to tilt your neck to look up at him, his eyes linger on the expanse of it before locking with your own, dark and full of lust. “Oh, you have no idea.” His thick, dark eyebrows raise slightly as his tongue peaks out to lick his lips once more, preparing to set the trap for you. “But you could.”

His words shoot straight down to your core, igniting a fire within your veins and making you wish you hadn't downed all of your punch already, yet refusing to turn around and pour yourself some more. You knock your foot against his own. “I think I already have an idea.”

Matty towers over you smirking and what you were sure were filthy words read to fire from his tongue, but they died before reaching the surface. His attention pulled to look over your head, his eyebrows furrowing and speaking in an authoritative tone that shot straight down to your core.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You turn your head to glance over your shoulder, sighing when you see Josh standing in front of the punch once more, the silver flask dangling from his frozen fingers. You turn back around to face forward, not willing to get the headache over scolding the teenager yet again for trying to spike the punch twice within the hour, choosing to distract yourself by staring at the way Matty’s neck flexed as he spoke. 

“Nothing.” Is the genius response the captain of the football team comes up with, the two of you snort in unison at the little effort the teenager had put into defending himself. 

“Oh, come on, if you’re going to try and spike the punch you can’t make it so painfully obvious.” Matty groans, shaking his head softly, his curls with it. “Don’t offend me. Get out of here.” You hear Josh groan, assuming that he was gone now that Matty’s eyes were back on you, huffing out a laugh and rolling his dark eyes softly. “Teenagers are fucking insufferable.” You giggle, nodding your head in agreement, crossing your arms over your chest and not missing the way the janitor’s eyes fall down to your cleavage. “Now, back to this dress you’ve got on.”

You snort, shaking your head to distract from the way his obsession with the cherry wine fabric clung to your body had you feeling as though you were the only girl in the room. And really, to him, you were. You bat your lashes at him, voice innocent as ever. “What about it?”

Matty knocks his foot against your own, signaling that he had you all figured out. “You get all dolled up for me?” 

And you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t. Even though you had no idea that the janitor would be in attendance tonight, you held onto the small odd percentage that he would and might have taken an extra half hour to get ready than you normally would, a practice you had adopted into your morning routine for work as well. Ever since that night in your classroom, you found yourself desperate to look your best everyday at work in hopes of catching Matty’s eyes in the hallway. It felt as though you had a high school crush all over again, blushing when he winked at you over the students heads and feeling blue when there were too many students between you for him to notice you at all.

Still, you couldn’t let the older janitor know the hold he had on you, lying through your teeth when you say, “You wish.” Rolling your eyes playfully, shrugging. “I didn’t even know you’d be here, so.”

Matty hums, drinking in the sight of you, his eyes impossibly darker when they lock back with your own. “I find that hard to believe, love.” Your heart rate immediately doubles in speed. “I think you wanted me to see you in this, think you wanted to drive me fucking crazy.” Your stomach swirls with heat, hopeful that the music echoing throughout the gym was drowning out the ability for others to hear what he was saying to you.

Matty reaches around you to grab a clear plastic cup from the stack on the table, you hold your breath as his arms brushes against your own while he pours himself a cup of punch. “You got your wish, princess.” He speaks casually as if he isn’t causing your heart to pound against your ribs, leaning in to speak into your ear, your core clenching at his words. “All I want to do is rip this fucking dress off and have my way with you.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, mind clouded with his cologne and lust for the janitor as he leans back with a smirk, bringing the cup full of punch up to his lips and taking a sip casually, smirking over the rim of the cup. You don’t trust your voice to speak, looking up at the man that towered over you, feeling as though you were the only two people in the room with the way he was staring at you. “Let’s get out of here.”

The bass from the music rattles the thoughts in your head, thoughts that scream for you to grab Matty by his tie and drag him into the nearest vacant room so he can satisfy the ache you’ve been battling to ease for weeks now, but you couldn’t. Not here. Not now. 

“I can’t.” You sigh, clarifying further. “We can’t, people would notice.” And it wasn’t the fact that you didn’t want people to know that you were hooking up with Matty, it was the fact that you didn’t want the entire school to know that it was happening at prom. You pitifully try to joke, but it lands flat. “Plus, who would keep the punch from being spiked?”

“C’mon, we won't be gone long.” His lust filled eyes burning against your skin as he counters, speaking as confident as ever as a cocky smile takes hold of his lips. “You know I can get you there quick.” Your core clenches at his words, you were positive that your underwear were absolutely ruined at this point, so desperate for him that you were nearly willing to risk your job just to have him again. Matty tempts further, smirking. “Ten minutes, I won’t even have to use my hands.”

Your mind spins with the possibilities, with the thrill of sneaking away and hoping not to be caught. You take the cup of punch from his hands, letting the tips of your fingers linger against his own before taking a sip from his cup. Matty watched your every move like his life depended on it, dark eyes following the way your tongue swiped against your bottom lip to collect the droplets of punch that lingered after you swallowed. You raise a brow, offering his cup back to him which he took without hesitation, tipping his head back to swallow the punch that remained. 

“Tempting.” You say, because it was, lying straight through your teeth as you say. “But I’m not desperate enough to risk my job for a quickie.” Not even realizing that you were putting your final nail in the coffin when you take the lie further and say. “I don’t need you, I can do it on my own.”

Matty huffed out a laugh, ready to call you on your bullshit, but the opportunity to do so fizzled out when the two of you weren’t so alone anymore.

“Am I the only one sick and tired of this music?” You hear a familiar voice pull you out of the thick tension you were swimming in between you and Matty, turning your head to the side to glance over your shoulder before moving the rest of your body to face the same direction. The heat radiating from Matty’s body warmed your back now as he lingered behind you, not bothering to take a step back and put some space between the two of you, almost as if he wanted the math teacher standing on the other side of the table to see that he was one step away from his body being flush to your own. “I haven’t had a headache this strong since my college days.”

William, a nerdy math teacher that you had shared a table with in the breakroom on a handful of occasions, smiles easily as he grabs a cup from the stack and reaches for the ladle in the punch bowl, pouring himself a drink while eyeing the two of you over the rim of the cup.

“Enjoying punch duty?” William teases, pushing the rim of his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Have any attempted spikes yet?”

Matty answers before you have the chance to, so close to him that the sound of his deep, raspy voice rattles through you, shooting straight down to your throbbing core and making it difficult to focus on their conversation. “Captain of the football team, who would have guessed.”

The two men share a laugh and soon William’s eyes are locked on you, uncertain if the pink tint gracing his cheeks was due to the fluorescent lighting in the gym or from his mustering up the courage to compliment you. “You look really pretty tonight.”

It took you a beat to realize he was even speaking to you, so caught up in daydreaming about allowing Matty to pull you out of the gym to hear him, sputtering out a response when you caught the nerves settling in his eyes from the silence that came from you.

“Oh, this old thing?” You laugh, forced and breathless, glancing down at the cherry wine fabric that clung to your body in all the right places. “I just threw something on at the last minute.”

At that, you felt the unmistakable feeling of Matty’s hand running down your back, his blunt fingernails digging into the fabric, a silent reminder that he knew you were lying - he knew that you had planned this outfit around the possibility of seeing him tonight. You swallow thickly, the warmth from his hand burning through the fabric and lit your skin on fire, embarrassed at the fact that he barely had his hands on you and your body was already reacting this way to the feeling. 

“I’m serious.” William presses, encouraging Matty’s hand to slip lower and lower down your back, lingering at the hem of your dress and tugging on the fabric slightly before slipping underneath it, the pads of his fingertips tracing along the edge of the lace of your underwear. You felt guilty for the way the flush on your cheeks was due to the feeling of Matty’s finger slipping under the waistband of your underwear, pulling it back slightly before allowing it to quietly snap back against your hip bone and not due to the way William was speaking a sentiment that mirrored one you had said to the janitor standing behind you earlier. “You clean up nice.”

A ‘thank you’ was sitting on the tip of your tongue, unspoken due to the fact that Matty’s voice had filled the void instead.

“Doesn’t she?” He beams, smiling kind despite the fact that what he was doing hidden behind the punch bowl was anything but sinful. His long fingers followed the line of lace until they found home against your covered core, lightly tracing the patch where you had soaked through the material, his foot knocking against the back of your own at the feeling. Your breath hitches in your throat, clenching around nothing as his skilled fingers found home against your aching bundle of nerves as if he had been fucking you for years, drawing painfully slow circles over the fabric and making your mind turn to mush. 

You were grateful for the fact that the table that held the punch was in the corner of the room, nothing behind the two of you except a wall. Holding what little air you had left in your lungs as Matty continued to draw circles over your clothed clit, you wished the fabric wasn’t blocking you from feeling his calloused fingertips against the bundle of nerves. Instead, he presses down a little harder to signal for you to speak. You weren’t sure if you trusted your voice to do so, but you could feel both of their eyes staring at you, waiting to hear the sound of it. 

You swallow thick, clenching your thighs softly around Matty’s hand before clearing your throat, hopeful that your voice wouldn’t be as breathless as you felt. “Thank you.”

It was a simple answer, yet felt as though the two words held a deeper meaning, putting the final nail in your coffin as Matty’s fingers slipped under the fabric of your underwear, slipping the material to the side and brushing his fingertips against your bare core. You kick your foot back against his own softly, a silent plea for him to take pity on you, the action only caused him to take a half a step closer to you, further blocking the already hidden action of him running his fingers through your folds with more of a purpose now.

Your brain felt as though it was melting out of your ears, the thrum from the bass of the music that blared throughout the gym assisted Matty’s fingers against your core in a beautifully sinful way. Your heart was pounding against your chest, ears ringing as his calloused fingertips finally found home against your swollen bundle of nerves, swallowing down a groan that threatened to spill from your mouth as heat trickled up your spine with every swipe of his skilled fingers. 

“Are you okay?” William’s voice pulls you from your spiral, anticipation coursing through your veins as Matty pinches your clit before trailing down to tease a finger at your entrance, you clench around nothing at the feeling of his calloused fingertip rubbing mind numbing circles over your entrance yet not pushing in any further. It was driving you crazy, the fact that Matty seemed to be making it his mission to cause you to be anything but okay. “You look a little flushed.”

The concern in William’s voice almost made you feel guilty about the cause of it, almost, you would have allowed the guilt to seep into your veins if the pleasure already blooming there wasn’t blocking it from doing so. Thankfully, Matty steps in to speak for you once more.

“She’s fine.” He assures, speaking so confidently that even you almost believed him, despite the fact that his hand was lighting your body on fire. “She’s just had one too many cups of punch.” Matty jokes, circling his calloused finger over your entrance one last time before finally pushing it home, slow and teasing. He bottoms out to the knuckle, curling the finger and numbing your mind as he voices a play on words that only the two of you would understand the double meaning of. “Don’t tell anyone about the flask she’s hiding under her dress.”

You clench around his digit as William laughs at the janitor's joke, you attempt to laugh along with the two of them, though yours comes out more pitiful and breathless as Matty slowly pulls out only to push back in with two fingers this time. The feeling of his fingers stretching you out was one you had been chasing to recreate for weeks now, cursing the fact that you were having to focus more on keeping your face neutral to hide what Matty was doing to you instead of freely being able to enjoy what you have so desperately desired since that night in your classroom, hating yourself for turning down Matty’s offer of ‘let’s get out of here.’ more than ever now. 

You were already so drunk on the feeling of Matty’s fingers moving so painfully slow inside of you that you almost missed William departing. “Well, I better get back to making sure nobody stuffs the ballot box.” He sighs, pushing his glasses up his nose once more before tilting his head in the direction of the stand where the students would vote for prom king and queen. “Don’t want a war to break out in here, now do we?”

Matty laughs, curling his fingers inside of you and causing your body to jolt from the pleasure that bloomed through your veins at the feeling. You smile, weak and unconvincing, swallowing thickly and clenching around Matty’s fingers as you watch William walk away, leaving the two of you alone once more.

Matty curls his fingers one last time before slowly slipping out of you, a condescending tone spoken into your ear as his calloused fingers press against your bundle of nerves. “I thought you weren’t desperate enough to risk your job?” He chuckles, mean and dark, pinching your clit to match. “Sure didn’t seem that way, clenching around my fingers and begging me to fuck you in front of him.”

You can’t even find a voice to argue with, scared that if you opened your mouth the only thing that would fall from it would be pitiful moans drawn from the pleasure Matty was giving you right now in a room full of people. A whine tumbling out instead when he suddenly pulled his fingers back all together, grabbing at your hip and turning you back around to face him. You were sure that you were quite the sight, cheeks flushed and eyes full of fire that glared up at him, wishing they had the power to kill. 

Matty smiles, smug and powerful, patronizing as he says. “Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” Your jaw ticks, heated eyes that glared in complete contradiction to the way his own devoured you, his bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly in a condescending pout that made your stomach flip. “What’s got you so worked up, princess?”

You wanted to wipe that smirk right off of his face, desperate to prove him wrong and say that he had no affect on you at all, but both of you would know that you’re lying straight through your teeth. He knew the way he made you feel, how much control he had over you, hell, he had just felt it for himself only a few minutes ago. In front of William, in front of everyone. You should have turned back around and poured yourself another cup of punch, relying on the fruity mix to cool the heat in your body, but instead you found yourself speaking through a glare and gritted teeth. “Bathroom. Now.”

Matty’s smirk had deepened before you had even finished voicing the two words, a prideful look in his eye as if he had won some type of unspoken game here, his dark eyes scanning down your body unashamedly. “Knew you’d see things my way.”

You roll your eyes, voiding a verbal response in favor of grabbing his wrist and tugging him away from the punch bowl, but Matty remains glued to his spot. You huff, turning back around to face the janitor who was looking back at you with a raised brow. “Hold on, princess. You don’t want to get caught now, do you? Can’t risk our jobs, right?” 

Thrill creeps back up your spine, the idea of hiding made this feel forbidden, dangerous. You shake your head softly, dropping his wrist from your hold and glancing around the room to make sure nobody had noticed the two of you, surprised that the entire gym wasn’t stuck swimming in the tension between you and him. Matty looks you up and down once more before taking a step closer, speaking deep and low, his voice shooting straight down to your already throbbing core. “Go to the janitor closet and wait for me.” Your stomach swoops. “Down the hall, third door on the left.” Matty explains the route as if he’d done it a million times, you didn’t like the thought of that. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Your feet were carrying you down the spoken path without a second thought, heels clacking against the hardwood flooring of the gym as you weaved your way through the crowd of coworkers and teenagers you were supposed to be keeping an eye on. Instead, you were hopeful that their eyes weren’t on you as you glanced over your shoulder before making your way down the hall of the gym that led back to the locker rooms, counting the doors on the left you passed until you were standing outside of the third one.

Your heart raced as you read the plaque on the door, Janitor Closet, the silent reminder that the man you were about to fuck was just as sleazy as the location you were going to do it in. 

You turn the knob, glancing over your shoulder once more to make sure no one had followed you before slipping into the small closet, blindly entering the dark space and cursing under your breath when your arm knocked against what you could only assume was a mop leaned against the wall, the wood falling to the side and the sound of it smacking against the floor echoed throughout the space. For the first time that night, you found yourself thankful that the music in the gym was so loud.

You reach up to grab the chain hanging from the ceiling, a singular lightbulb barely illuminated the space, squinting to allow your eyes to adjust. You barely had the chance to look around the closet before the door to it was swinging open and slamming shut just as quickly, no time to register that someone else was in the closet with you before a hand was wrapped around your throat and you were being pushed against the wall, head slamming against the surface and knocking the wind out of you as lips crash against your own.

If the familiar smell of the cologne that had clouded your brain all night and now filled the small space didn’t clue you in enough, the taste of cigarettes on the tongue that was exploring your mouth told you everything you needed to know.

“Matty.” You whine against his mouth, the sound makes him squeeze the hand wrapped around your throat a little tighter, your head already spinning and spiraling. You needed to pull away from the kiss to catch some air, to gain back some control, to scold him. “That was not five minutes.”

“Couldn’t fucking wait that long.” Matty defends, the dim light in the closet accentuated his features in a way that had your stomach flipping and thighs clenching together. “I need to get my hands on you right now.”

He huffs out through pants, already breathless from the kiss you had just shared, not hesitating before trailing the hand that was holding your neck up to grip your jaw before pulling your mouth back against his own in a rough, passionate kiss that made your head spin.

And who were you to argue with that?

You allow Matty to take full control in the kiss that was more teeth and tongue than anything else, losing yourself in the feeling of his mouth against your own, the only thing grounding you were his hands gripping your waist - fingernails digging into the cherry wine fabric of your dress so harshly that you were convinced crescent moon shapes would be marked there despite the layer between his nails and your skin. 

Matty tugs your bottom lip into his mouth, releasing it with a pop and staring down at you with hungry eyes that we’re barely visible in the dim closet.

“Look at you.” He coos, taking one of his hands off of your waist in favor of hooking it under the strap of your dress, toying with it until it fell down your shoulder. “Pretty little princess just waiting to be destroyed.” You whine at that, pitiful and desperate, stomach swirling with a newfound desire that heightened the throbbing beat of your core. His dark eyes roam your body, pinching your hip as he leans down to kiss up the side of your neck. His tongue traces unknown patterns along the expanse of it in his journey up to your ear, licking your earlobe and tugging on your earring with his teeth before whispering hotly into your ear. “I want to fucking tear you apart.”

Matty swallows the gasp that tumbles from your lips at his words, kissing you as though his life depended on it, pushing you harder against the wall of the closet and bringing his body flush with your own.

You were dizzy, overwhelmed, desperate. You needed Matty to do something, anything, you were on the brink of insanity with how intensely your core ached to be touched by the janitor.

It was a taste you had a craving for since that first night in your classroom, trying everything to recreate it yet nothing satisfied the itch that remained since the janitor had walked out that night. And now that you had a sample earlier at the punch bowl in front of William, you weren’t just hungry for him, you were fucking starving.

“Matty.” You whine against his mouth, the sound jumpstarting him to pull off and resume his attack on your neck, grazing his teeth against the skin before biting down and soothing with his tongue after. 

Your hazy mind made everything feel as though you were a beat behind, struggling to keep up with the fast pace of the janitor who was trailing his mouth from your neck down to your chest, licking a broad stripe over the area while his hands slide under the straps of your dress and pull them down your shoulders. 

Matty’s foot kicks your legs apart wide enough for him to slip a thigh between them, the sudden pressure against an area that was aching to have attention had you gasping, tossing your head back against the wall of the closet as he continued to push your dress down your chest until your tits were free.

Matty was quick to lick a strip between your boobs before trailing his tongue to the side to swirl around one of your peaked nipples, groaning against the sensitive bud before sucking it into his mouth. You whine involuntarily grinding down on his thigh he had perfectly placed between your legs, eyelashes fluttering at the pleasure that bloomed through your veins at the feeling. Matty smirks against your breast, grazing his teeth against your nipple softly before swirling his tongue over it one last time and pulling off. 

He stands up straight, towering over you now, staring down at you with eyes that conveyed how desperately he wanted to eat you alive. Bringing a hand up to your neglected breast, rolling the sensitive bud under his thumb while holding a vice grip on your hip with the other.

You couldn’t help it, grinding down on his thigh once more in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the pressure between your thighs, the throbbing ache in your core was mind numbing. Matty smirks at the action, switching his thumb out in favor of pinching your nipple between two of his fingers while tensing his thigh against you all at the same time, mixing pain and pleasure in such a way that had you tossing your head back against the wall once more. 

Matty takes the action as an invitation, all but growling as he leans back down to kiss, lick, bite at your neck. He toys with your sensitive bud between two of his fingers while rolling your hips down onto his thigh, sucking a mark into the side of your neck that you knew would need to be covered by makeup or scarves for the next few days.

You whine his name as if it’s the only word you knew anymore, pliant against the wall and willing to let Matty maneuver you however he wanted, which only seemed to fuel the desire in the janitor's veins. All too powerful as he licks a strip up the side of your neck and up to your ear, pinching your nipple as he spoke directly into your ear, sending shockwaves down to your core in the process.

“Filthy fucking girl, getting off on my thigh.” You whine as he grips your hip impossibly tighter, sure to leave bruises behind, at least those would be easier to hide than the one on your neck. He rolls your hips down to meet his thigh, pleasure bloomed behind your fallen eyelids, awakening the need in you to start grinding down on him yourself. Matty smirks at that, slowly pulling his hand from your hip in favor of capturing your hand with his own and raising it above your head, holding it against the wall while keeping his other occupied with your breast. “I don’t even need to make you dirty, you already are.”

You whine, pitiful and desperate, rolling your hips down on his tensed thigh quicker now, chasing the heat that was already coiling in your stomach embarrassingly fast. “Matty, please.”

“What?” He pouts, leaning down to get his mouth back on your tits, staring up at you through his lashes as he sticks his tongue out to swirl circles around your nipple, smiling softly before sucking it into his mouth and releasing it with a pop. “What’s the matter, love? Use your words.”

Your head was spinning, swimming in desperation, difficult to find the words to convey what you wanted when Matty was stealing them right from your mouth with every skilled swipe of his tongue on your nipple and every roll of his thigh he met with the roll of your hips. Your voice breathy when you finally found it. “Need you.”

Matty coos, pouting against your breast, a pout that slowly morphed into a smirk as his dark, dangerous eyes pinned you to the wall as effectively as his hand did to your arm and his body did to your own. 

“You have me.” He reminds with a pointed roll of his thigh, the danger in his eyes only deepening when you whimper in response, licking a trail from between your breasts, up your chest and to your neck until his mouth found home against your own. Matty kisses you as hungrily as you felt, too drunk on the kiss to realize that Matty had captured your other hand in his own, bringing it up to the wall behind you to mirror your one from before. You only realized when Matty pulled back from the kiss, a line of spit connecting the two of you as you both panted to catch your breath. On instinct, you found yourself tugging to get your arms free, but Matty’s own didn’t budge at all. The blatant display of strength and power only fueled Matty further. 

“C’mon, miss independent, you told me you can do it on your own.” You whine as Matty throws your words from earlier back in your face, stopping his thigh from rolling against you and gripping your hands between his own a little tighter, a smirk plastered to his face. “Show me how dirty you can be.”

You whine, tossing your head back against the wall, Matty was quick to fill the empty space and leave more kisses and bruises along the expanse of your throat. You didn’t hesitate to follow orders, as stubborn as you could be on any given day, you were too desperate to think of doing anything but grinding down on Matty’s thigh in desperation to chase the pleasure that followed with each roll of your hips. 

You were close, embarrassingly so, the coil in your stomach wound so tight that you could barely breathe. You could do nothing but pant, whine and moan Matty’s name as you chase your high. Your hips stutter against his thigh on a particularly mind numbing roll, squeezing his hand interlocked with your own tightly as you clench around nothing, picking up the speed of your hips and moaning his name like the good, the bad and the dirty. 

“Fuck.” You whine, swallowing thickly, your body on fire. “Matty.”

The sound pulled Matty out of his assault on your neck, still refusing to move his thigh to help you but encouraging you to crash and burn by licking the shell of your ear before speaking directly into it.

“You’re close aren’t you?” You whine, nodding your head quickly, Matty nibbles on your earlobe through a smirk. “Yeah? Just needed the sound of my voice to send you over the edge?” You nod once more, a death grip on his hands that cover your own as you roll your hips frantically, desperately. “Need my permission?”

You hated the way he knew you so well. His deep, raspy voice tightening the coil in your stomach impossibly tighter, pleasure shooting up your spine and begging to be released. You nod, too embarrassed to voice it outloud but Matty bites your ear lobe to remind you of his order from earlier, use your words. 

“Yes.” You voice through breathless pants, rolling your hips to no real rhythm, too close to be graceful anymore. You could feel the need to release inching up your spine, pressure begging to be relieved, climbing up your throat and burning like fire on the way up. “Matty, fuck, please.”

“There she is.” Matty beams. “You wanna cum, baby?” The pet name falling so easily from his tongue shot straight down to your flipping stomach, you nod to distract from the butterflies that threatened to grow. “Yeah? You wanna cum all over my thigh?” He coos. “So fucking desperate for it that you don’t even need me to touch you, isn’t that right?” 

“Matty.” You whine, the coil in your stomach desperate to snap but needing his permission to, you weren’t sure how much longer it’d wait before completely consuming you. 

Matty watches you for a beat, taking in the sight of how fucked out you look, glazed over eyes and flushed cheeks, memorizing each and every feature better this time in case it really was the last. When he locked eyes with your own pleading ones full of desperation, he didn’t hesitate to say. “Cum for me, baby, cum all over my thigh.” And you were falling apart instantly on him, body shaking and whine after whimper tumbling from your lips as you finally crashed and burned. “That’s it, make a fucking mess, make me just as dirty as you.”

You continued to roll your hips down on his thigh as you came down from your high, body pliant against the wall, not even realizing that you were relying on the way Matty had you pinned to the way to keep yourself steady and standing until he was dropping to his knees in front of you. 

You roll your head to the side so you could look down at him, the janitor already staring up at you with pride filled eyes clouded with lust, a smirk playing on his lips as he teases. “I told you I wouldn’t need my hands”

You laugh softly, kicking your heel clas foot against his knee while rolling your eyes. “I hate you.”

“Yeah, it really seems that way.” He teases, running his hands up the expanse of your thighs, pushing the cherry wine fabric up higher until the ruined lace of your black underwear was on display for him, his head dropping down on your thigh at the sight. “Fuck, baby, you wear these just for me?”

He hooks his fingers into the waistband of the lace, trailing a line of open mouthed kisses up the inside of your thigh, only breaking away long enough to pull your underwear down them before diving back in. 

Matty held out a hand for you to hold onto, steady yourself with as you lifted one of your heeled feet up so he could free it from the lace, placing it back down and repeating the action with the other foot until the black lace of your thong was off of your body and held between his fingers. 

You didn’t like the power he held over you, desperate to even the playing field and not let him know the effect he had on you. You shrug, watching the way Matty balled up the lace and winked at you before stuffing it in the front pocket of his pants, your eyes falling down to the wet patch in the middle of his thigh and flush. “I didn’t even know if you’d be here or not.”

You tried to be casual, but you knew that Matty could see right through you, his warm hands back on your thigh and mouth back to leaving open mouthed kisses up the expanse of it.

“No, you didn’t.” He mumbles against the inside of your thigh. “But you were hoping I would be.” Once again you found yourself cursing Matty for how well he knew you. “That's why you got all dolled up tonight and wore this lace, just in case you saw me.” He bit into the meat of your thigh, jolting your body forward. He smirked against the skin, trailing one of his hands behind your thigh, lifting your leg up and hooking it over his shoulder, you shuddered at the sight. He had you exactly how he wanted you, right in the palm of his hand. “Just for me. All for me. Isn’t that right, love?”

And as desperately as you wanted to tell him no, to prove him wrong, to knock his ego down a peg - you couldn’t find it in yourself to say anything but the truth. “Yes.”

“Such a dirty girl.” He comments off handedly, locking eyes with you before leaning into your core and spitting on top of the wetness that was already costing your thighs. “Fucking filthy.”

And that was all he had to say before diving into you, your head tossing back against the wall of the closet as he didn’t hesitate to lick and suck with as much hunger that was coursing through his veins. 

You found it hard to keep up with the pace that he was eating you out with, the only thing you could think of was teeth, tongue, pleasure. Your mind spinning and swirling as Matty’s tongue was against your swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking it into his mouth and already having that familiar heat coiling in your stomach once again. 

It was embarrassing how quickly Matty was able to bring you to the brink of insanity, you had never finished so quickly with another partner before, or even yourself. Matty somehow knew your body better than yourself after just one hookup, you couldn’t help but wonder what he could do after knowing it for years.

You swallow down the thought, scared of catching any real feelings for the janitor, knowing that the older man saw this as nothing but casual. But that was proving harder and harder to avoid when he was mumbling against your core. “So fucking pretty like this, falling apart on my tongue.” He emphasizes by giving you a particularly pointed lick that had your legs shaking.

He smirks against your core, fingers digging into the thigh he had hooked over his shoulder as he pulls off to catch his breath, bringing his other hand down to tease two fingers at your entrance, meeting no resistance as he plunges them inside of you. Your mouth falls open in pleasure, eyes rolling back into your skull as Matty curls his fingers and of course, instantly finds that heavenly spot inside of you that had your brain melting from your ears.

Matty watches your face crumble with a permanent smirk etched onto his face as he fucks you with his fingers, curling them once more just to hear you gasp again, like music to his ears. 

“Prettiest girl in the world.” He mumbles before leaning in to suck your clit into his mouth, the feeling of that mixed with his impossibly long fingers fucking into you at a brutal yet consistent pace had you feeling overwhelmed, pleasure blooming through your veins so quickly that you couldn’t even voice it. Matty knew the signs anyways, of course he did. 

“You gonna cum, sweet girl?” A broken whine ripped from your throat as he curls his fingers, fucking into you quicker now, replacing his tongue with his thumb to rub at your clit as he spoke to you. “So soon? Greedy little thing, you are. I was having fun.” He pouts, the sight has you clenching around him, desperate for release. “Go on, then. Cum for me, I won’t stop you, let me fucking hear you.”

It only took three more pumps of his fingers inside of you, two more swipes of his thumb against your swollen clit and you were falling apart yet again on him, clenching and throbbing around his fingers as you let the music in the gym far away drown out the sounds of your whimpers and moans. “That’s it, good girl.” Matty praises, making you clench around him once more. “You follow orders so well, so much easier to fuck you when you aren’t being stubborn like last time.” 

You laugh softly at the tease, body jolting through aftershocks as Matty curls his fingers in you one last time before slowly pulling his fingers out of you, leaning forward to place a tender kiss to your sensitive clit before leaning back to make eye contact with you as he brought his fingers up to his mouth to lick them clean of you. He groans at the taste, you groan at the sight. “Matty, please.”

The janitor smirks around his fingers, pulling them out with a pop before slowly starting to rise from his haunches. “What, baby?” He coos, your head slowly tilting up the straighter he stood, tipped back as he towers over you now. “You wanna taste?”

You grab his face, crashing his lips against your own in lieu of voicing a response, swallowing each other's moans as you kiss hungrily, more teeth and tongue than anything else. “Fuck me.” You mumble against his mouth, the grip he has on your waist tightening at the sound. “Please, I need you.”

“You need me?” Matty mocks, pulling away from the kiss in favor of pouting at you as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear, always condescending as ever. “I thought you didn’t need me?” Bringing those cursed words you had stupidly said earlier right back to bite you in the ass. “Thought you could do it all on your own, princess, what happened to that?”

You wanted to wipe that condescending pout right off his face, swallowing thick and hard as you reached out to unbutton the dress shirt he was wearing, pouting yourself as you say. “You look really fucking hot tonight.” Running your hands over his now bare chest, trailing them up to his shoulders and pushing the thin fabric off of his back and onto the floor beneath you. “But I think I prefer you in your normal clothes.” 

Matty smirks. “Yeah?”

You nod, trailing your hand down his chest until it reached the buckle of his belt, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as your manicured nails fumbled with the belt until it was open enough for you to pop open the button of his pants. Matty swallows thickly at the action, watching your hand slip under the waistband of his boxers, his eyebrows furrowing and a soft groan tumbling from his swollen lips as you wrap a hand around his length, pumping slowly up to the tip. 

“I bet you do.” Matty’s voice huskier than before, licking his bottom lip before placing his hand next to your head on the wall behind you, dark eyes pinned you in place. “Don’t like when I’m all cleaned up, do you?” He asks, hissing when you swipe your thumb over his tip. You shake your head innocently enough. “No, you prefer me to be dirty. Isn’t that right, princess?”

You smirk, swiping your thumb over his tip again just to see his eyes flutter closed a little before wrapping your free hand around the black tie that remained around his neck, tugging on the tie to bring his mouth to your own to say. “Fucking filthy.” Before crashing your lips back on his own. 

Matty groans into your mouth, hooking an arm around your waist and lifting you up, your legs wrapping around his back on instinct, gasping into his mouth at the action. You were desperate to see the way the muscles in his arms were bulging now that he was holding all your weight up against the wall, clenching around nothing at the thought. 

Matty knocks your hand wrapped around him away in favor of replacing it with his own, pulling away from the kiss to pant as he pumps himself, groaning before spitting down on his length and spreading the saliva over it with his hand. You whine at the sight, clenching your thighs around his hips in a desperate plea for him to just fuck you already, you were more than ready for it. 

“Matty, please.” You whine, hooking your arms over his shoulders and digging your manicured nails into his curls, tugging on the grey streaks. “I need you, please.”

“You want me to fuck you, baby?” Matty’s voice so deep it was almost incoherent, running his tip through your folds but making no effort to push it home. You nod, whining desperately, the feeling of his tip bumping against your clit with every swipe makes you breathless.

“Please.” You beg once more. “I’ve been so good.”

And that was enough to make Matty slide home, pushing in slowly to the hilt and allowing you to adjust to the stretch for all of a few seconds before fucking you in a pace that you lost your breath in. 

“Fuck.” He groans, snapping his hips against your own. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” You were too fucked out to reply, Matty took you clenching around him as answer enough. “Wanted me to pull you away so I could fuck you raw and dirty, just how you like it.” He emphasizes by fucking you even harder, your head tossing back against the wall at the feeling. “How you need it.”

You whine, thankful that Matty was fully supporting your body against the wall, knowing that your legs would be too shaky to stand on your own. You didn’t care about the fact that Josh was probably spiking the punch right now, celebrating with the entire football team, not when Matty was fucking you like this. 

“I'm the only one who can give it to you like this, the only one who can make you feel like this.” You moan, nodding unashamed, because he was right. Nobody had ever made you feel like this and you knew no one else ever would. “Say it.” Matty orders, hips snapping into your own at a heavenly pace. “Say I’m the only one who can make you feel like this.”

You weren’t sure if you even had a voice to speak, knowing that any words that climbed to the tip of your tongue Matty had stolen with a thrust of his hips, feeling as though he was splitting you open against the wall of the janitor closet.

“You, Matty.” You voice as breathless as you felt, moaning at the feeling of him fucking you harder. “You’re the only one who can fuck me like this.”

“Tell me.” He speaks through a clenched jaw, his eyes more serious now, repeating back the phrase with a deeper underlying meaning behind it, his hips slowing down ever so slightly. “Tell me I'm the only one. 

You knew what he meant - tell me I'm the only one you’re sleeping with. You couldn’t help but find it ironic considering the man who was asking you that, knowing that he had probably made his way through the entire faculty, you were probably the last girl to check off his list. And if Matty had known that’s what you thought, he would be quick to tell you how that couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, he had slept around, of course he did. But he hasn’t even thought about another girl since that night in your classroom. 

“Only you.” You promise, tugging on his curls and clenching around him, desperate for him to fuck you with the pace he had set before. “Only ever you.”

Matty fucks animalistic now, fucking you so hard your body was shifting you up the wall.

“That’s right.” He groans. “My fucking girl, all for me, no one else will ever have you like I do.” You whine in agreement, tugging on his curls with one hand and digging your nails into his back with the other. “All for me, fucking made for me.” He repeats, holding you up with one arm and wrapping the other around your throat. “Made to take my cock.” He uses the leverage he had with his hand wrapped around your throat to lift your head off the wall an inch just to knock it back against the wall. You moan at the feeling. “And look how good you do it, baby, fuck.”

You preen at the praise, moaning freely and unashamed, hoping that the music was loud enough to drown out your mixed moans and the sound of skin slapping.

“Never had someone take my cock as well as you do, you’re so fucking good, such a good girl.” Your stomach rolls with jealousy as the reminder that he had been with other women, trying to focus on the fact that he was claiming you were the best instead of on the fact that he had a long list of people to compare you to. It proved to be easier than you thought, especially when Matty was quick to assure you. “My best girl.” He groans, locking eyes with you. “My only girl.”

You whine at that, at the idea that you belonged to him, that he belonged to you, clenching around him as whine after moans fell from your lips. His fingers tighten around your neck, cutting off your airway for a beat, heightening the feeling of his cock pounding into you before loosening the grip so you could gasp for air.

“My dirty girl.” His eyes darken, fucking you impossibly harder now. “Fucking filthy, greedy little slut clenching around my cock.” You whine, clenching around him again before you could stop yourself, he hisses at the feeling. “Look at you.” He coos. “I made you cum twice and you’re still begging for more.”

You couldn’t even find it in yourself to be ashamed, not when Matty was fucking you like this, not when he was bringing a hand around your waist to rub two fingers over you sensitive, swollen clit. You gasp at the feeling, so overstimulated and drunk on the feeling that you have no shame in begging. “Please, Matty.” The sound of your breathy tone had Matty fucking you harder, faster, swirling his fingers around your clit at a pace that had your brain melting out of your ears. “I’m so fucking close.”

“I’ll give it to you.” Matty promises, tossing his head back in a groan when you clench around him while dragging your nails down his back. “Give you anything you want, everything you want.” Butterflies swarm at the thought, at the idea that maybe this wasn’t as surface level as you thought, maybe you weren’t the only one who wanted something deeper. “Just gotta ask for it, baby.” He reminds, hips stuttering to signal that he was just as close as you were. “Tell me what you want.”

“Wanna cum.” You whine, pitiful and broken, so desperate for it that you’d do anything to be falling apart again. “Please.”

“Yeah, of course you do.” Matty mocks with a strained laugh, groaning with fluttering eyes when you tug on his curls yet again. “William wouldn’t know what to do with such a greedy fucking slut like you, would he?”

The mention of the nerdy man from the earlier had your mind spinning, whining against the wall as Matty fucked you as if his life depended on it.

“He fucking wanted you, would have took you right there on that table if you had let him.” Matty seethes, fingers pinching your clit meanly before flying over the bud and hurdling you towards another mind numbing orgasm. “Poor boy, who’s gonna tell him it takes a filthy man to make you cum?”

“Matty.” You whine, thrashing against the wall, skin on fire and burning hotter with each thrust Matty fixed you with. The pool of heat in your stomach swirling like a hurricane just as Matty’s calloused fingertips did on your clit. “Please, fuck.”

“I told you earlier that I wasn’t gonna stop you.” Matty reminds, doubling his efforts on you and pulling a pleasured scream down from your toes. “Cum for me, princess, cum all over my fucking cock.” He groans at the feeling of you clenching around him, throbbing against him as you fall apart for the third time. “That’s it, good fucking girl, so good for me. Feel so good around me, fuck, where do you want me?”

Your body was shaking with the intensity and sensitivity of Matty still fucking you to chase his own release, overstimulated and spent as you lay pliant against the wall and allow Matty to use you for his own pleasure.

“Inside.” You plea through pants, desperate to feel his cum dripping out of you again, a feeling you thought about countless times with your own hand between your thighs. “Please, want you to fill me up.”

“Fucking hell.” Matty groans, still rubbing mind numbing circles over your clit, heat prickling under your skin, barrelling quickly to the surface with how sensitive you were. “Gonna cum, princess, fuck.” He groans before spilling inside of you, the feeling of his load filling you up combined with his fingers still swirling over your bundle of nerves had you falling apart for a fourth and final time, tears pricking at your eyes and falling down your cheeks as you both come down from your high. “Fuck.”

You both fight to catch your breath, thankful for Matty’s ability to hold up your dead weight against the wall, knowing that you’re too spent and sore to stand on your own. 

Matty leans down to fix you with a kiss much more tender than ones you’ve shared before, pulling off to lick at a stray tear on your cheek, staring down at you with gleaming eyes still full of desire and mixed with something unknown. “I wish everyone could see you right now.” Rolling his hips lazily, causing your body to jolt against the wall and a pitiful whine to tumble from your lips. “See how fucked out you are, so fucking pretty like this.” Leaning down to kiss you tenderly once more, mumbling against your mouth. “Pretty all the time.”

You smile into the kiss, twirling one of his curls around your finger and tugging on it slightly, allowing the butterflies to fly freely in your stomach now. You didn’t care that you were falling for the man you were wrapped up in, not when he was looking down at you as if you were the only girl in the world.

But you weren’t, in fact, you weren’t even the only girl in the building. The reminder that the two of you were in public, in a space full of coworkers and students had your eyes widening and panic start to settle in your chest. “Oh my god, how am I supposed to go back out there.”

You knew you looked as fucked out as you felt. Your dress was wrinkled, eyes glassed over, mascara tears drying on your cheeks, hair knotted from being fucked against the wall. There was no way you’d be able to walk about there without every single person knowing what happened in this closet. 

Matty smiles, a mischievous grin that had you narrowing your eyes at him. “Oh, you don’t know?”

You squint your eyes further, tilting your head to the side. “What?”

“That you’re not feeling very well.” He comments off handedly, shrugging. His mischievous smile turned into a full blown grin now. “Must have picked up the stomach bug from one of your students, I had to take you home an hour ago.”

You gawk at him, trying to wrack your brain around what he was saying to you and smacking his shoulder when it finally hit you. “You told everyone that I was sick?”

“Yeah, only reason I wasn’t right on your heels when you came to the closet.” He shrugs, you could tell by the look on his face that he was feeling quite proud of himself. “Knew I was gonna tear you apart and you wouldn’t be able to come back.” He smiles, cocky and arrogant. You roll your eyes at the sight. He snorts, pinching your hip and teasing. “You’re welcome.”

“Please.” You scoff. “So why did we fuck in this tiny closet when we had the freedom to leave and go somewhere less,” You cut yourself off to glance around at the dingy closet full of cleaning supplies, choosing your words carefully before settling on. “public.”

“Because,” Matty drew the word out, leaning in to kiss you, mumbling against your lips. “I wanted everyone to know who you belong to before I take you home and fucking ruin you.”

[forcryingoutlloud]

hiii how are u??

slutty slutty slutty request over here bc that’s the mood

I can’t stop thinking about matty fucking reader rafter a night out with the boys, both a little tipsy and he extremely jealous after another man gave her free drinks.

Spitting FOR SURE, fucking her dumb, def cumplay and restraining orgasm, a bit of pleasure crying? you get the vibes

xoxo

Hiii!! I’m good, I’m so sorry this took so long to get out! <3

YEPPP YES YEAH ABSOLUTELY LOVE LOVE LOVE 

This is NASTYY

CW for alcohol consumption (they’re tipsy, not drunk) and sex, in case anyone considers that dubcon.

Contains: reader being a little bratty, begging for forgiveness, Matty being grumpy and jealous and mean (degradation), unprotected sex, riding into Matty using her like a toy, pleasure crying, orgasm denial, dumbification, pleasure crying, cum play (post-sex fingering), spit play 

WC: ~3k

Matty stares down at the scrap of paper napkin in his hand, roughly pinched between two calloused fingers. His eyes are swimming with coldness, with disdain. It was bad enough that the man at the pub had given you a free drink, but the fact that he’d slipped you his number scrawled on a napkin had him absolutely fuming. Who the fuck did this guy think he was? He was seeing just as red as the wine he’d drank that night.  

“You didn’t take this from him, right?” he asks, his voice low, eerily steady. “No, no, he slipped it in my purse when my back was to him,” you clarify, shaking your head almost frantically.

Your knees are starting to ache from the way you were practically groveling for him, kneeling before him while he was sitting on the couch with his legs unabashedly spread. You knew how pitiful you must look, reaching to smooth your hands over his clothed thighs, tentatively, like you half expect him to bat you away. But he doesn’t, he graciously lets you touch him. His chill-inducing gaze snaps down to you now as he drinks you in, slightly inebriated and begging for penance. Danger is pulsing in your veins.

“Did you want him?” Matty questions, just to see your reaction, to watch the panic seep into your features.

“No, fuck no. Only want you, ’m sorry,” you mumble hurriedly, your cheek smushed into his knee as you look up at him through your mascaraed lashes. 

A low hum of acknowledgment rumbled through Matty’s chest at that, continuing to let you hang all over him while he just stared. After a few beats more of piercing silence, he lowers one of his hands to your chin, splaying his fingers out across your jaw possessively. As pissed off as he was, he was starting to have a little too much fun with this. You were making it too easy.

“Then show me,” he says simply, slightly constricting his fingers around your face, his fingers digging into your skin.

You don’t have to be told twice. You scramble to get up onto the couch, draping your back over the arm of expensive leather. Your breath is hot, uneven as you wait for him to make a move, enticingly inching your legs apart in anticipation of being fucked within an inch of your life. Matty raises his eyebrows at you, not moving a muscle. Embarrassment flushes through your body with uncomfortable warmth as he just chuckles meanly, ripping the napkin in his hand into two and tossing it over his shoulder.

“No, babe. I said show me. Take what you want,” he smirks, casually placing his hands behind his head with a purposeful glace at his lap. 

You whine softly as you realize what he wants. He wants a show as his “apology”, and he’s not going to touch you properly until you give him one. You crawl your way over to him, your head swimming from both the drinks and the way Matty is watching your every movement like he could tear you to pieces, much like the flimsy napkin. You straddle his spread legs, the fabric of your dress riding up your thighs, much to his viewing pleasure. He doesn’t have to ask to know how much you actually love being treated this way, he can tell just from a glance at your soaked panties. 

“Go on,” he urges, his voice gravelly, “get me hard.” 

The command sends a pang of desire ricocheting through you, a flutter shooting straight between your legs. You chew at your bottom lip, noting the way his hands stay put behind his head nonchalantly. It only confirms to you that you’ll be doing all of the work tonight. 

 You eye the slight protrusion running down the length of his thigh as you reach for his belt, finding that your exchange has already gotten him semi-hard. Your hands fumble slightly with the buckle, making Matty impatiently click his tongue. When you finally manage to get his belt undone and his pants unzipped, you slide the palm of your hand over his clothed erection, blinking up at him like you’re begging for approval, but you’re only met with cold, almost unimpressed eyes. He doesn’t offer you the satisfaction of the usual groan you earn when you first touch his dick. He’s being silent on purpose, quietly brewing in his own jealousy. It only makes you more determined to regain his affection as you take him out of the confines of his briefs, Matty watching your every move. You spit into the palm of your hand before starting to stroke him, twisting your wrist just the way he likes it, 

“Y’know, maybe you should call him, babe. Let him come over and watch. He’d love that, wouldn’t he? Fucking wanker…” Matty broods, his jaw clenched tightly.

You just pout your glossed lips at him, doubling your efforts as you go faster, pumping up and down his shaft until he’s rock hard and weeping beads of pearly precum. Matty grunts, his hips jumping slightly as you squeeze your fist around the head of his twitching cock. You feel a spark of pride inside you that you’d managed to draw a sound out of him, only craving more.

“That’s enough,” he says, stopping you while he can still maintain the facade that he’s hardly enjoying himself.

You smile at him with faux innocence, earning you a warning look from your boyfriend who reaches to pinch your thigh in retaliation, murmuring “You’re in no position to be a fuckin’ brat”. You know you’re only winding him up further, and you can’t say you care, because you know what it gets you: bruises in the shapes of Matty’s fingers and not being able to sit down without being sore. But, you oblige, lifting your hips up as you slide your panties to the side, feeling how damp the fabric has grown as you hook your finger into them. 

Eager to prove your loyalty, and just how badly you want him, you waste no time in sinking down onto his cock, grasping one of his shoulders for support while the other holds him at his base. You sigh out, your eyes rolling back as you feel that familiar burn of being split open by him, your mind clouded with sensation. You feel so full of him by the time you’re totally flush with his lap that you can’t help the few pathetic whimpers that spill past your pretty lips. Matty’s breath shudders as you envelope him snugly, gritting his teeth slightly to bite back a growl. He keeps his hands folded stubbornly behind his head, even as you start to bounce on his lap, riding him with vigor. You feel almost dizzy as your eyes squeeze shut, drops of carnal need reverberating through you, licking up your spine like flames.

It isn’t long before you’re getting too spent too quickly, your mind hazy and your thighs burning as your pace becomes more haphazard, stuttered. You whine frustratedly, trying to find your rhythm again, but it’s all too much, it feels like your whole body is aching. The tipsy pillow princess in you doesn’t want to do the work anymore, you want to be laid down and railed on his expensive leather couch, damn it. You restlessly buck your hips through your frustration, your lip caught between your teeth as you try to silently entice Matty into helping you along. He can tell you’re struggling, but his darkened stare says he’ll be doing no such thing until you beg. Any trace of pride has been wiped clean off of your face.

“Matty, please,” you babble breathlessly, gripping his shoulders tightly, “I can’t… need your help.”

Matty scoffs, only now taking his hands out from where he was resting his head to meanly grip your hips, sneering at you like he finds the whole scene pitiful. His blunt nails dig into your skin through your dress, forcing you up and down his shaft harder.

“Can’t follow simple instructions, huh? I swear, you’re drunker on my cock than you are on the drink. It’s pathetic,” he spits, looking you up and down before his gaze settles on where he’s disappearing inside of you. 

You whimper, your walls clamping down on him as you hang onto his every vicious word. Your chest heaves with heavy breaths, tits threatening to spill from your dress with every harsh drop of your hips. He’s losing his patience, not that he has much to begin with when he’s brimming with jealousy. 

“I know you can keep up with me, little minx,” he grumbles before beginning to snap his hips up into you with fervor.

A wail rips from your throat as he hits deep inside you, the tip of his cock dragging against spots that have stars crackling behind your eyelids. The obscene sound of skin on skin fills the room as you do your best to meet his thrusts, your moans echoing off of the walls. He keeps pounding up into you, using your hips for leverage as you hold onto him for dear life. Your head doesn’t feel attached to your body, it’s like you’re floating and Matty’s shoulders are the only thing keeping you on Earth’s solid ground. 

“Yeah, fuckin’ take it, that’s right,” Matty grunts, his pace nearing animalistic. 

Your head lolls back as you do just that: take it. Every upstroke of his hips has you feeling dizzier than the last, the white-hot pleasure coiling in your belly tighter. This version of your Matty is a force to be reckoned with, a force that will bring you to your knees every time.

“I’ve ruined you for anyone else, yeah? Tell me. Tell me I’ve spoiled you,” he drawls as he grabs hold of your jaw.

You do the best you can to respond as he eases your mouth open, his lidded eyes falling to your lips as you mumble.

“Yes, yes. You’ve spoiled me.”

Matty starts to lean in. You know what to do without him even telling you, pliantly sticking out your tongue, a bit of drool spilling past the corners of your mouth. You see a flash of satisfaction cross his expression at how obedient you’re being. He gathers his saliva before pointedly spitting onto your tongue. Involuntarily, you let out a guttural moan, your hips bucking forward as fizzling heat explodes under your skin. Matty grunts as you clench around him, your velvety walls clamping down on him while you mewl. You’re a fucking mess, and that’s just how he likes you.

 You eagerly swallow his spit without missing a beat while Matty’s hips continue to piston up into you relentlessly. You’re teetering on the edge and Matty knows it, he can feel it with every flutter around his cock. He glances at you with narrowed eyes, like he’s daring you to cum without permission, just to see what happens. All he says is a curt:

“Don’t.��

You let out a dejected whimper, weakly bucking in his lap as you can no longer even feign having the coherence to match his pace. Your thoughts are scrambled, only Matty could fuck you so good that you might just forget your own name. It’s all useless information anyway, the only clear thing in your hazy head is Matty. A rough pinch to your nipple through your dress and a whistling sound makes your eyes refocus.

“Oi,” he says between shallow breaths, “stay with me. Want you to look at me when I fill you up.” 

Matty knows how good you’re feeling and how dumb he’s rendering you, but he has a damn point to prove, and that’s that you belong to him. His pace becomes more like harsh jerks as he nears his edge, his thighs flexing hard with the effort of fucking you through his orgasm. He murmurs hurriedly that he’s about to cum before he groans, spilling his load inside of you while maintaining intense eye contact. You feel the flood of warmth as his fingers leave purplish bruises on your hips, his head tilting back against the couch with his jaw slack. A few loose curls stick to his forehead with the glowing sheen of sweat across his body. Your expression twists with lust as you watch him, your cunt throbbing like a second heartbeat at the sight of him. It’s almost painful how badly you want to finish, he hardly ever cums before you when you fuck and the feeling has you squirming with impatience. Maybe you really are spoiled… 

His hips slow to a stop as he sighs out, his cock twitching inside of you before he slowly starts to pull out, lifting you up off of his lap and onto your knees. You whimper at the loss, immediately feeling much too empty. Your eyes snap to his with desperation, your hips rocking into the air as his cum slowly dribbles out down your thighs. His eyes are lazily lidded, a smirk etched on his lips as he watches you, his large hands firmly holding you in place. Your face feels all hot, prickling at the bridge of your nose as frustration bubbles up, threatening to pour from you. You’re tripping over your words as you start to speak, your mouth spewing off faster than your brain as tears brim your eyes.

“Please, please- I’m sorry, Matty. Please? I-I need it,” you hiccup, trembling hands sliding up to the back of his neck.

“Are you fucking crying?” he laughs, yet he still reaches to wipe your tears away tenderly with his thumb. 

You can’t manage to say anything, your legs are still trembling from the force that he’d railed you with. Matty coos at you with pity as you sniffle, it all felt so good but it wasn’t enough. His eyes hold less of a condescending glint now, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the bruises on your hips as if to kiss them better. 

“My poor girl,” he whispers, “such a needy little thing.” 

It’s then that he lets his gaze rake down your body, your dress disheveled and gathered around your waist. He does you the favor of reaching around your back, deft fingers unzipping the fabric and lifting it over your head. It doesn’t do much to satiate the fire under your skin, you still feel as though you’re burning up from the inside. As he’s placing your dress to the side carefully, he catches sight of the way his cum is streaking down your inner thighs. His tongue slides across his plush bottom lip, his eyes twinkling as he’s struck with an idea. 

“Shame. Going to waste like that,” he mentions, his voice low, dripping with implication. 

His hand starts at your knee, skimming upward until he’s collecting the drops of his release on his fingertips. Your eyebrows furrow with confusion as he looks up at you with a smirk, having revealed nothing of the thoughts racing through his dirty mind. He nudges your knees to open wider with his legs before reaching between your thighs, dragging his soiled fingers through your folds. You sigh out at even the slightest contact, his touch sending sparks flying as he brushes against your clit. He spreads his cum across your core, gathering an obscene combination of your arousal on his digits before he sinks two fingers into your sopping cunt. You gasp, your hands curling into the dark tresses at the base of his neck. Matty lets out a satisfied hum, beginning to pump his thick fingers in and out of you, crooking them forward skillfully. 

“Please… please, Matty,” you breathe, as if they’re the only two words you know.

Matty shushes you softly, guiding his thumb toward your clit to trace tight circles over it while continuing to push his cum deeper inside of you. He leans in and presses his lips to your pulse point, feeling your heartbeat thrum faster and faster. He mouths over your neck, his teeth grazing over your skin in a way that makes your whole being buzz. Your hips rock into his hand wantonly, desperate for any ounce of pleasure and dizzying friction you can chase. Matty whispers into your skin about how gorgeous you are for him, how perfect you are.

That familiar tightening feeling only heightens as you hurtle towards your climax, your back arching further as you let out a high-pitched cry. You manage to stutter through warning Matty that you’re about to cum, only for him to cut you off mid-word by crushing his lips to yours. You whine into his mouth as he rubs your clit in quicker succession, his fingers thrusting harder, deeper. He’s shoving his tongue into your mouth hungrily the moment your orgasm crashes over you in a euphoric wave, your body writhing and your cunt fluttering. Pornographic wet sounds fill the room along with your muffled sobs being swallowed greedily by his lips. His fingers guide you through the raging storm of your climax as tears of pure relief stream down your cheeks. 

As your orgasm tapers off, he withdraws his digits from within you, holding up a perfect, sticky mixture of you both that’s drenched him to his knuckles. You collapse onto his lap with a dazed moan as he tenderly rubs your lower back, the both of your eyes glued to his hand. You can hardly believe your misty vision as Matty opens his mouth, shamelessly sliding his fingers into his mouth as he sucks them clean of your combined essence. Your jaw drops, you’re blushing to your roots by the time he pulls them out of his lips with a soft popping sound.

“Shit,” he groans, “we taste heavenly.” 

He just smirks at the astonished look on your face, inching his face close enough to yours that you can feel his hot breath fanning across your lips. He knows exactly how crazy he’s driving you.

“You want to try?” he asks, tempting you with a raise of his eyebrow.

Wordlessly, you press your lips to his, your eyes fluttering shut as you push your tongue into his mouth, dragging it across his to taste the muskiness in his mouth. You both let out mirrored, shuddering sighs as your tongues meld together in a searing kiss. You’re both panting by the time you pull away, mutually stealing the others breath straight from their lungs. He’s right, you’ve never tasted anything so luscious. 

“... I might need another taste… just to be sure,” you giggle dreamily, your head tilting enticingly. 

And who is he to deny you?

[forcryingoutlloud]

6,98,99. Sorry for the multiple numbers, they just work so well together.

Also love your work!💜

my kink is karma - matty healy

(mdni) in which your ex wants to give you a birthday treat. too bad for your boyfriend. 2099 words.

warnings: cheating, semi-public sex, daddy kink

Firstly, you’d like to say that you’re not a spiteful person, thank you very much. But fuck if it doesn’t feel good to run into your ex drinking alone while celebrating your birthday with your friends and your shiny, new boyfriend. Matty salutes you with his glass when you spot him, and you ignore him pointedly. He won’t fucking leave it alone, though — that’s always been his problem.

“Of all the gin joints in all the world, she walks into mine,” says Matty, low in your ear as you go to order yourself another drink at the bar. You hope he doesn’t notice the shudder that runs through you at the sound of his voice. “Whatever she’s having on my tab, yeah?” he adds smoothly, and you roll your eyes. 

“Oh, well, in that case, I’ll have a bottle of the most expensive champagne you’ve got,” you grin. What? He’s got the money for it, and you aren’t going to turn down a free drink on your birthday, of all days. Matty shrugs when the bartender looks at him to confirm, and she hands you the bottle in a cooler.

You turn to leave, go back to your friends, but Matty takes hold of your wrist, gentle enough that you could break out of it. Something stops you, though. “Happy birthday,” he mutters. “Thought about callin’, but…” he blows out a breath. “The way we left things, I didn’t know if you’d wanna hear from me.”

Feigning casualness, you shrug, pretending like the reminder of your heart-wrenching breakup doesn’t tear at you all over again. “Yeah… Well, you’re here now,” you say matter-of-factly. “How’ve you been?” you ask, despite knowing the answer. Over the last six months, you’ve taken some kind of twisted pleasure in keeping tabs on him, in watching his life fall apart.

The two of you split in April, leaving you forced to move out of the apartment you loved that was in his name, nine days after you’d paid your half of the rent. June, he got arrested in a drunken bar fight; July crashed his car, the car he loved more than almost anything, leaving it completely written off; August, the girl he’d been seeing since suspiciously soon after your breakup left him with no warning. Meanwhile, you’ve had a promotion, gotten into the perfect relationship and everything is falling neatly into place.

Your reaction to him being around is involuntary, you tell yourself, fucking Pavlovian. You were together for three fucking years, of course your body still responds to him. It’s still learning what it’s like to live without him. Matty sighs, and you jolt out of your reverie as you remember you asked him a question. “Not great,” he admits. “Drinkin’ alone on a Friday night not tip you off?” he says, bitterness tracing his tone. “And yourself?”

“Oh, I’ve been great,” you say blithely. “I’m making great money, I’m in love, properly this time,” you can’t resist adding. “And you just bought me a bottle of champagne and told me everything sucks for you! What more could a girl want on her birthday?”

Matty scoffs. “You’re still the same,” he says coolly. “Bratty when you’re not getting fucked right, huh?” he adds, your stomach swooping at his words.

You don’t know what makes you admit it, some heady combination of mixed drinks and Matty’s presence for the first time in months overcoming all sense, but you murmur, “M’not. He’s not as good as you. S’the only thing I miss.” You try to weaken the admission.

Matty’s eyes light up, and you groan internally. “Is that so?” His grip tightens on your wrist and you stumble towards him when he tugs on it, a sickening pulse of arousal dripping down your spine. “Got everything you want, huh? Even down to your perfect little boyfriend. But you think about me when he’s fucking you, don’t you?” he breathes, something hard and dangerous in his tone, your heart thudding traitorously as he leans closer. 

“I… That’s not true.” you say, but the wavering of your voice betrays you, and he smirks wickedly.

“You can’t lie to me, baby. I know you too well.” The statement lodges in your throat like you’ve dry-swallowed a pill, the truth ringing disgustingly clear. “What do you say? You want one last good fuck, for old times’ sake?”

You should pull away. You need to pull away. You have to pull away. But you can’t. “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” you say. Matty’s eyes darken, but you know he took note of the most crucial element first: it wasn’t a refusal.

“I never cheated on you,” Matty says seriously. “I did a lot of other shit, I know I did, but not that. Never that.”

You swallow hard. “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“One more time. One more fuck. I need you out of my system,” you breathe, and you could almost cum from the filthy look on his face. Guiltily, you slink to the bathroom, casting furtive glances around and praying nobody spots you trailing after Matty and slipping behind a locked door.

Matty slams you against the door the second it shuts, devouring you in a harsh kiss, teeth and tongue sliding together almost violently. Having his hands on you again feels horrifyingly good, nauseatingly familiar. He’s hard, you can feel as he presses his body against yours, and you whimper pathetically into his mouth. “God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” Matty groans, like he can’t help himself. “Makes me sick. Been fuckin’ dying for you, baby.”

“So hurry up,” you snap. “I know you’re here alone, but I have people who care, and not much time before one of them notices I’m missing.”

“Such a brat,” Matty teases. “Need a good fuck to shut you up, yeah? S’alright, baby. Daddy’s here now. Gonna give you what you need.” The bottom falls out of your stomach and his words, a helpless, strangled moan escaping you. “Oh, missed your Daddy, have you, darling? Not given your little boyfriend my name, right?”

“N-no,” you stammer. “He… he wouldn’t understand. You’re my Daddy, couldn’t replace you.” Your skin feels like it’s on fire, your mind dizzy with desire, the words spilling from your lips without permission.

You’d forgotten how it feels with him, how Matty gets you sick with lust, thick and palpable in the air of the small room. “Good girl,” he croons. “Bend over for Daddy, yeah? I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.”

You obey, the sight of your reflection sickening. You look fucked-out already, flushed red and panting. Matty’s hands come to rest on your hips, stroking appreciatively over the curve of your ass and pushing your too-short dress up around your hips. Torturously slow, he pulls your panties off, motioning for you to step out of them when they hit the floor. “I’m keeping these,” he says, slipping the scrap of lace into his pocket. “Something to remember you by, yeah?”

Wrapped up in his touch as you were, the reminder that this is a one-time thing shocks you like you’ve been doused with ice water. Right now, you don’t have a fucking clue why you even broke up, not when his fingers are so achingly close to your dripping core. “God, Matty, please!” you choke out, widening your legs desperately. 

“Give me a minute, baby. Missed this pretty cunt so much. Gotta make sure I don’t forget a thing, if this is the last time m’gonna get to have you.” He brushes his fingers through your folds, your body jolting at the barest touch over your swollen clit. Meeting your gaze in the dingy mirror, Matty wraps his lips around his wet fingers, moaning exaggeratedly as he sucks them clean. “God, missed the way you taste, darling. Sweetest fucking girl I’ve ever had,” he promises, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans.

You squirm, cold porcelain biting into your thighs. You hear the sound of a foil wrapper tearing open, and before you can process, Matty slides into you, your knees buckling at the sudden fullness. “F-fuck,” you whimper, the feeling of being wholly surrounded by him familiar as he thrusts deep into you, pleasure cascading over your bones.

“God, you feel so fucking good, baby. It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve got you. Daddy’s gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name,” Matty promises, shushing you soothingly as you whimper. His hips slam against yours, ecstasy flooding your veins as your thighs bash against the sink. He fists a hand in your hair, dragging you up to meet your own gaze in the mirror. “Look at yourself, baby. Look how gorgeous you are, falling apart on my dick. Right where you should be, hm?” he murmurs, heat flooding your belly as you watch yourself take his cock over and over. “He could never fuck you like this, huh? Whose girl are you, really?”

“M’yours, Daddy. Yours, still yours, all yours,” you babble, cunt clenching wantonly around him as his smirk grows and his pace speeds. You moan horrifyingly loud when he hits that spot inside of you, too dizzy with desire to control your noises.

“Shh, baby, shh. Try not to be so noisy, yeah? Can’t let anyone know what we’re doin’ in here, that this lying fucking bastard has you split open and begging on his cock.” He throws your words from your final fight back in your face, pinching your clit meanly and fucking you deep. You can’t hold back another whimpering scream, and he scoffs. “Needy little whore can’t keep quiet, huh?” he murmurs, sliding two of his fingers into your mouth. Eagerly, you suck on them, your moans muffled as saliva pools under your tongue.

Heat scorches through you, every thrust of Matty’s hips and grunt that falls from his lips sending an illicit spark of pure pleasure racing up your spine. You can’t think, can barely breathe, choked in desperate lust that drips out of you and soaks him. He’s right, you can’t remember anything but him, his name circling your head, denting your brain out of shape. Nothing but Matty, Matty, Matty. “This fuckin’ pussy drives me insane, baby. Always so wet for me, so wet for your Daddy. Could have this all the time, if you wanted.”

His words cut through the fog in your mind as Matty slides his fingers free from your mouth to let you answer. “What do you mean?” you stammer, your disloyal heart skipping a beat.

“We had issues, yeah. But we were good together,” Matty murmurs, rubbing distracting circles into your clit, training you into giving the right response. “I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last six months. About us.” He slams his hips against yours on the final word, pleasure roiling in your stomach, every muscle in your body stringing taut. “I want another try. I know it would be better this time. I’d be better,” he promises, nails digging possessively into your hips.

“Matty, I–” You’re at a loss for words. His face crumples almost imperceptibly; if you weren’t so attuned to him, you wouldn’t have known.

“S’okay, baby. Fucked you too dumb to answer, I get it. You wanna be a good girl and cum for Daddy?” You nod wildly, his circles over your clit getting tighter and faster and you whimper helplessly, but you don’t miss how he’s stopped meeting your eyes.

Ecstasy winds around your veins, sticky, hot desire pinning you still as Matty fucks into you. “Fuck, Daddy, m’gonna–” you gasp out, the tension in your body finally breaking, stars going supernova behind your eyelids. Your legs tremble, your entire body going limp as waves of pleasure swirl in your stomach and buffet your organs.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Matty murmurs soothingly. “Daddy’s got you. Whenever you want, I’ll be here,” he promises, and a split-second later you feel his cock pulsing inside of you, the feeling of his cum spilling in your cunt sorely missing.

It takes a few moments before your legs have stopped shaking enough for you to stand, Matty supporting your waist as you clutch your abused muscles. “We should… I should get back out there,” you say, raking your fingers through your hair in an effort to tame it. You both look well-fucked, the question of how you’re going to explain your absence rattling around your mind. Matty meets your eyes one last time, looking over his shoulder as he unlocks the door.

“When you get bored of him, call me. I’ll be waiting.”

[forcryingoutlloud]

Cigarettes & Wine | M. Healy | 1

'I want a photo of you in my bed, to carry with me when I go out west.'

In which Sadie and Matty have a very brief, very awkward, and very anxious encounter, Sadie gets very flustered but quickly finds herself fitting in with the group of rowdy boys and too many feelings are felt for her teenage brain.

warnings: drug use, implied alcoholism, implied parental neglect, my sweet angel sadie being a sweet angel.

word count: 8.5k

a/n: soo .. hiiii! i am juniper and im begging you guys bear with me i have Never posted on here before. BUUUUTT i am vvvv nervous and excited to be posting this but it's been in the works for tooooo long. begging and screaming to be let out of the word doc its been confined to. so here we are i guess. pls enjoy sadie and matty they are my Children. if the title wasn't hint enough.. this is only part one.

Sadie has had the most stressful morning of her entire life. Her tie is untied around her neck and the only thing she cares to grab hold of is her camera. Her entire life is on that thing, and although she may be merely 14, her camera is her child. She hears her mother huffing at the bottom of the stairs and straightens up to catch a look of herself in the mirror, a mess, as she suspected. Her shirt is buttoned up wrong, her skirt is half tucked into her tights, she has on one Mary Jane and her backpack’s contents are strewn messily across her bedroom floor. With some swear words muttered along the way she is in the car within five minutes and her mum is chewing her out for being late to her first day of Year 10, which she couldn’t really care less for.

“I’ll see you tonight, mum! Love you!” Sadie slams the car door before she can hear her mums reply and heads into the school she’s grown to know quite well. She’s fallen into a friend group with some girls that she thinks will do for her high school endeavours, but Sadie already knows she’s destined for bigger than the small town of Wilmslow. Somebody else who thinks this way is Matty Healy, the boy who’s just gone into Year 11. Sadie has noticed him before, they both tend to frequent the music department, Sadie finds it visually appealing for her photo collection, whereas Matty finds it appealing to the ears, especially his own guitar strumming. Any time their paths cross Sadie bows her head and pretty much runs in the opposite direction, face as red as the wine her mum drinks when the sky gets dark.

As Sadie enters the front of the school she signs in late at the front and heads to her class, putting her camera in her backpack as she approaches her English class. She sighs and opens the door with stuttered apologies for being late, Sadie might be confident and come across as such but that doesn’t mean her 14 year old brain isn’t scared of high school teachers and their strictness. She stumbles to her seat and sits down, accidentally throwing her bag at her feet once she gets out the book the class are in the middle of silently reading. Even though she doesn’t know why the class is reading on the first day she’s thankful for it because it lets her mind wander, her dreams of being a famous photographer is what her mind favours over ‘A Tale Of Two Cities’, Sadie finds Dickens to be boring. She prefers the Brontë sisters.

When lunchtime finally rolls around Sadie is where she can normally be found, the music department. Her camera is lazily slung around her neck, her backpack having been left with her friends in the library. She favours avoiding the gossip for finding inspiration in the usual practice rooms, the ones she hasn’t found inspiration in for a while now. She spent every day before the Summer holidays begging whoever might be looking down on her for something to take a photo of. Somebody else had been wandering the same corridors as Sadie. Everyone in her year talks about Matty Healy, “the boy in the year above with a natural affinity for the guitar he’s always carrying around the school carried a naturally mysterious air.” Sadie can’t think of a single girl in her year who wasn’t utterly obsessed with every move of Matty Healy. Including herself, even if she’s very hesitant to admit it, an admirer from afar per se. She likes to think of him more in the sense of ‘his appearance is inspiring to her camera’.  Sadie was looking down at her feet, frowning at the scuffed shoes she wore for the entirety of Year 9 when she felt a larger figure bump into her. As she looks up and sees Matty with a guitar case in his hand she can’t help the pink tint that rises on her cheeks.

“Oh! Erm, sorry!” Sadie somehow manages to force the words out of her mouth. She seems to have the same shyness about her when talking to Matty that she does when looking her English teacher in the eye. An interesting discovery. She loses herself in overthinking the tone she just took with Matty when she hears him reply to her, something she wasn’t expecting in the slightest.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t paying attention, my bad.” He meets her eyes and genuinely seems like he couldn’t care less about her mistake, he seems to take more notice of her camera, his head tilts and his eyes squint in the direction of it hanging limply on her neck. She seems to grow more confident in herself when she realises he’s looking at her camera, she knows she’s good at photography, that’s something she could talk about endlessly. Matty lifts a finger and points to said camera. “You any good?”

Her eyes widen slightly at the question, and she clears her throat at the same time her head begins incessantly nodding, she is acting crazy. She then begins to overthink her nodding. Why is she overthinking so much? Maybe she’s just having an off-day. She decides that she nodded like that because she knows she’s a great photographer, why would she not be overconfident about it? Seems normal enough.

“Cool. Can I see any?” This is when Sadie’s heart rate picks up. She doesn’t know why; she doesn’t want to know why. She also does not want to know why he is asking her this. Matty’s question has sent her brain into full blown panic mode, maybe she does want to know why he’d like to see her photos. What could possibly intrigue him about her? The squint tie around her neck? Her incredibly dirty Mary Janes? In her 14-year-old brain she decides he fancies her. She’d come to find out in many, many years that she was, in fact, right.

“If you want? I’m bringing my hard drive tomorrow for my art class, they’re letting me use my photos this year, meet me at the library?” She says this with a coy smile on her face, in her head she is feeling a lot less coy because of the way Matty is smirking at her. What she doesn’t know is that he is looking down at her with a smirk because her face is so red that he thinks there’s something wrong, maybe it was something he’d said? After a beat of silence, he blinks down at her with a nod, and they bid their goodbyes. Once Sadie is sure Matty has turned the corner she lets out a silent squeal before quickly bolting to the school’s library and sitting down at the table her friends are at, she might not view them in any light, but they do love gossip. She takes a moment to catch her breath before turning to her friend sat beside her, “Matty Healy wants to see my photos. I have no idea why.”

Suffice to say Sadie didn’t sleep a wink that night. She sneaked through to her dad’s office to edit photos on the family computer at midnight when she was sure everyone was sleeping and when she was sure the photos were on her hard drive she went back to bed and tried to sleep. Unsuccessfully. She then had to drag herself to school the next morning, early, to meet Matty before classes. She had no energy to even be nervous, the eyebags on her face spoke for themselves. She all but flopped down on the seat next to the boy who held in his laugh at the sight of her. “Don’t laugh! I had to edit some of these photos before you saw them, and my bloody dad wouldn’t get off the computer last night, so I had to do it after he was sleeping! Anyways, wanna see?” When Matty nods with a smile she rifles through her backpack for her hard drive.

After silently looking through her photos for, like, three whole minutes, Matty turns to Sadie with a single nod. “So, I’m in a band. I think they’d love these. How about you come to our next practice and take some photos of us? See if they like what you do?” Sadie is now a mere puddle in her computer chair. She doesn’t speak in fear of her mouth betraying her, what would she even say? She nods for a while; she doesn’t know how long she nods for, but she knows it’s been a while.

“Yup, sounds good. Yeah, cool. Cool. Where do you guys practice?” Sadie doesn’t know what the fuck is coming out of her mouth. She is word vomiting all over Matty’s shoes. She wants to apologise but she isn’t sure she remembers the English language. Why is she so nervous? Oh, probably just because the guy that every single one of her peers fawns over is currently asking her to make him and his bandmates her next subject of inspiration. Her next muse. What even is her life.

“At my house. I’ll write the address down for you, hang on.” Sadie’s mouth has gone dry. Now she’s truly forgotten the English language. This can’t be real, and this certainly can’t be happening to Sadie. Matty Healy is writing down his home address for her to have. Not to even mention his literal famous mum and dad. She reaches her hand under the computer desk and pinches her thigh over her wool tights, it doesn’t hurt but she’s now sure this is actually happening. Sadie takes the paper from Matty and tries to process the date and time he’s reciting at her. They’re interrupted by the morning bell and when Matty holds the library door open for her she waves goodbye, bows her head and speedwalks away from him.

Sadie really tries to focus in her classes that day but it doesn’t work in the slightest, all she can think about is Matty Healy and she curses him for it. She tries to read some romance novel when she gets home but she starts picturing the characters as her and Matty and has to put it down. He has unknowingly taken over her brain, and she resents him for it. Can’t a girl even read in peace?! She took pride in being the only girl in her year who didn’t have a crush on Matty, now she can’t even hold that above his head.

By the time Friday rolls around Sadie is already over school, she never tended to like school, but she already knows that Year 10 is going to be dreadful. The one saving grace might come in the form of a boy in the year above. She leaves school and runs home to get changed before she heads to Matty’s address. She has cherished the crumpled piece of paper that held his address since she got it on Tuesday morning, she taped it to her mirror and that is where it will stay. It isn’t like she hasn’t come home every night from school and studied it, she knows exactly where she’s going.

Her shaky hand knocks on the door of said address about an hour later, she biked over from her house and actually enjoyed the ride, the early September sun was shining on her face and lighting up the bumpy country road she took to get here. Her thoughts are interrupted by a lively woman, quite aggressively, swinging the front door open. Sadie smiles up at her with squint eyes because of the sun attacking them, making the blue of her irises look probably insane. “Um, hi? I’m Sadie, Matty invited me to watch his band practice and take some photos of them.” Sadie lazily points to the camera around her neck with an awkward smile. She is coming across very poorly. But alas the woman opens the door wider.

“Oh! He never mentioned, he doesn’t tend to tell me these things though, typical teenager! I’m Matty’s mum, just call me Denise though, sweetheart. They should be in the garage.” Denise walks Sadie to the garage door where she can hear the loud laughter of teenage boys and obnoxious drumbeats. She smirks slightly and thanks Denise, accepting her offer of a can of coke. Once she takes it she enters the garage, and the laughter dies down. “Sadie’s here, boys, she’s very lovely so I don’t want to hear of any teasing or making fun.”

Sadie looks down at her feet as Denise defends her, even though the boys haven’t yet uttered a word. She hears the garage door close behind her and Matty gestures her over to him. He very casually, like it’s nothing, throws an arm over her shoulder and begins introducing her to the three other boys in his garage. She already knows George from a couple of her classes due to them being in the same year, but she lets Matty speak at her anyways. “So, Sades, this is Adam, he plays guitar and he's in the year above me, basically he’s old. That’s Ross, he does the bass, but I think he just pretends to know what he’s doing. And that’s George, obviously he plays the drums, but he just makes a fucking racket.” Sadie flushes at how casually he gestures, how casually his arm is around her, how casually he swears, and how casually he calls her ‘Sades’. That’s a new one.

“Um, hi, I’m Sadie it’s nice to meet you guys. Matty was singing your guys’ praise on Tuesday morning. Been looking forward to this since.” Sadie’s forearm has suddenly become very itchy, and she busies herself in looking around the garage in an attempt to avoid eye contact with any of the aforementioned boys. She notices a few posters on the exposed walls and a couple of guitar cases strewn across the floor, the last thing she notices is a battered leather couch against the wall, facing all of the boys and their many instruments and poor cable management. Sadie leaves Matty’s side and takes a seat on it, placing her coke on the floor and taking the lens cap off her camera.

The practice is well under way and Sadie’s mind has been racing with thoughts of how she’d shoot the band at an actual show. She finally gains the courage to stand up and has failed to notice Matty’s eyes on her the entire time he’s been singing. None of the other boys seem to notice either, Matty doesn’t even realise what he’s doing. When they finish up the last song they wanted to practice (for probably the tenth time), they start chatting about things they should do differently, and Sadie busies herself by looking at her photos on the couch. She gets caught up in them and doesn’t feel the sofa sink next to her, she looks up and sees George looking over her shoulder. “Any good photos of me?”

Sadie can’t help the pink on her face as she nods and turns her camera to him, showing him the few photos she got of him. She found it difficult to get good angles of George considering the size of the garage they were practising in, him being shoved into the back corner. As George was flicking through photos Sadie couldn’t help but study his face, his brows were slightly furrowed as he fiddled with the buttons on her camera, not knowing how to work it. He smirked at a few photos and his eyes scanned over the rest, when he looked up Sadie was suddenly very interested in the opening of her can of coke. She has no idea why she can’t look at any of the boys without her heart rate picking up and her face going bright pink. Maybe because she thinks they’re actually quite cool and she has no idea why she would possibly be sitting in Matty’s garage with them all. But she is.

The next time she has a run in with the band is a week and a half later when they all spot her in the lunch hall and wildly gesture her over. She had spotted them first and tried to look around to avoid them. She really wishes she knew why her subconscious was forcing her away from the boys. (She’s terrified she’ll embarrass herself. That’s why). She gets herself together and heads over to the table they’re sat at, awkwardly placing her bag at her feet. She murmurs something that could be perceived as a “hi” but honestly it could have been anything. “Have you edited the photos yet? We are highly anticipating them.” Sadie nods her head excitedly, glad that the topic is on her photos, something she actually is passionate about.

“Yeah! Yeah, they’re on a hard drive that you guys can have, I forgot to bring it with me today though. I’ll bring it tomorrow?” Matty nods and falls into conversation with the boys, who also include Sadie, sitting there helpless, unsure if she should get up and go to her friends. She dares to glance in their direction and when she sees them blowing fake kisses because of the curly haired boy she’s sat with she rolls her eyes and turns back around. She reminds herself that they are her surface level friends, they have nothing in common whatsoever, they’re too caught up in gossip. Sadie is too caught up in her camera. They don’t gel.

Sadie manages to fall into a conversation with Ross about English and their mutual enjoyment for the subject, she finds it incredibly random but she’s glad to have something in common with one of the boys. She relished in the conversation not being surface level drama that brought a yawn out of her throat, she also relishes in her slight ranting about her passions actually being listened to. Sadie likes Ross and his listening skills. When the bell rings she finds herself bewildered at the fact she doesn’t want to get up from the table, she’d quite like to stay and timidly laugh at the boys’ jokes and general noisiness. But, alas, she must head to the aforementioned English class, she makes a joke to Ross about how she’d rather go anywhere else. They share a hatred for Sadie’s teacher, him having had her for the previous school year. She finds herself falling into step with George, they’re already five minutes late.

They wave a goodbye to the rest of the boys who all disperse into different classes and walks silently with George. They pass by a few people that make them share glances to each other, grimaces present on their faces. Anytime this happens they both laugh and shove into one another until they reach the fated English hallway and George reaches into his bag and pulls out two sheets of handwritten papers. Sadie’s face basically turns into a question mark. “What? It’s the homework?” Upon seeing Sadie’s heart basically fall to her toes George can’t help but let out a baffled laugh. “Don’t tell me you haven’t done it.”

“Shit, George.”

The colder the weather gets the more Sadie begins to feel like an integral member of the group. She’s the one to tell the boys to shut up when they’re talking too loudly. She’s the one to shove Matty anytime he makes another member of the group the butt of his jokes. She’s also the one to tell him when his singing sounds shit. Sadie has been quite the talk of the town recently because of this, her old friends are spreading all kinds of rumours due to her gradually dropping them in favour of the boys. Although anytime Ross catches wind of these in the school corridors he’s quick to shut it down, whether it be defending her or physically getting involved… at least he's there!

The band are meeting up for their last practice before Christmas Day and Sadie is beside herself with excitement, she hasn’t seen the boys since the school broke off for the holidays on the 17th. She wakes up that morning already excited but when she opens her curtains and sees snow she swears under her breath, she couldn’t possibly drag her bikes weak tyres through the thick snowfall. So, she slides her panda slippers onto her feet and heads downstairs, finding her mum in the kitchen with a cup of tea and a cigarette in hand. “Morning, mum! Would you be able to give me a lift to Matty’s later? I was gonna bike over, but it must’ve snowed pretty hard last night.” When she hears the sigh escape her mum’s mouth and the slight thud of her palm on the counter she knows she’s not getting a lift.

Denise was expecting Sadie, she’d grown to expect the young girl’s presence around the house at any given time. But what Denise wasn’t expecting was to open up the door to Sadie, bike in hand, tears staining her bright red cheeks, and no hat on her head. This just wouldn’t do. “Oh! Sadie, sweetheart, what happened? Come in, out of the cold now, just dump the bike, that’s fine. Why did you bike here?” Sadie tries to speak but her brain seems to think that letting a sob rack her body is the smarter way to go about this.

“Mum wouldn’t give me a lift, said she had more important things to be seeing to. Had no choice.” Denise immediately puts the kettle on and wraps the girl up in a blanket, rubbing her shoulders after forcing her to take a seat at the kitchen island. Sadie can hear the boys upstairs and is glad of Denise calming her down and talking to her before she has to face them. After Denise gives her a telling off for not, at least, putting on a scarf, she turns to Sadie with an eyebrow raised. She just sighs. “She does this all the time. Feel like a nuisance at that house. Always in the way.”

Upon hearing this Denise circles the kitchen island and crowds her into a hug which she can’t help but accept. After a beat of silence occasionally broken up by Sadie’s sniffles, the two part, Denise keeping her at arm’s length. “You shouldn’t feel like a nuisance. Listen, any time you come here I’m delighted, probably because you balance the testosterone levels a bit, but not just that, you’re the kindest young lady I’ve ever gotten to meet, and it’s always a pleasure to have you at the house, you keep my boys in check. Now, if you ever feel like this again, phone my number from your house phone, and I’ll come pick you up, can’t have you biking in the snow anymore.”

Sadie nods her head at Denise’s words, letting out a slightly weepy laugh anytime she makes a dig at the boys. She feels strangely warm inside, despite the subzero temperatures she was just faced with, and she doesn’t know why. She’s never felt safer than when Denise took her hand on the kitchen island. Matty’s house is now her safe space she’s decided. Speak of the devil, Sadie hears a clatter from the stairs behind her and when she turns she sees Matty’s eyes light up. “Sades! You made it! I thought you weren’t gonna come because of this snow, glad to see you though, George is chatting shit about your English teacher again. Something about holiday homework, help me take some juice up?”

Sadie takes the blanket with her and with a smile in Denise’s direction she waddles over to the fridge. She makes sure to finish her tea before grabbing a can of coke. Another thing she likes about the Healy house is the constantly stocked fridge, anytime she needs a drink there seems to be one on hand. Almost akin to Mary Poppins handbag. She takes one of the cans Matty is juggling with a giggle and bids goodbye to Denise before heading up the stairs. Matty entertains this journey by telling her that his dad had taken Louis, his younger brother, out to build a snowman a half hour ago and Sadie laughs at the image of his rosy cheeks and tiny hands grasping at snowflakes. She dotes on Louis, always having wanted a younger sibling, she treats him like her own brother.

When the door to Matty’s bedroom opens she smiles at the sight, three boys strewn across the room in one big, lazy mess. They all seem to perk up at the sight of Sadie, George especially. “Thank fuck you’re here, need help with this homework, my mum told me to have it finished before Christmas. And Ross, miserable bastard, is refusing to help me. Have you done it?” Sadie sets down Adam’s can of coke on the desk, cracking her own open before sitting criss-cross on the floor beside George. She nods at him over the can, and he can’t help but cheer and push it towards her, struggling on the carpet. “You’re so much better than me at English. Read what I have.” She sets down her can and skims over what George has written.

“Oh dear, I’ll help you after practice.” At this the boys all glance at each other and the room falls silent. Did she say something? I mean, they’re here for practice, right? Right. Sadie has just missed it, her treacherous journey to the Healy house took longer than usual, and she left late. “Have you already practiced?” When faced with four nodding boys, Sadie sighs and nods too. “That’s okay, we can just hang out, then.” Matty looks at her with a sympathetic grimace. He overheard more of her conversation with his mum than he originally let on.

Matty decides that changing the subject entirely is the best thing he can do in this situation, he doesn’t want to force her to talk about why she was crying to his mum. “We liked the most recent photos you took, really cool. Think you left some of your ones for art on the hard drive, there was a random shot of some leaf in the middle of Ross’ closeups.” Sadie shakes her head, feeling her eyes roll involuntarily. “I mean it was a good leaf photo, I just don’t think it’s our vibe.” Her head is thrown back in a giggle as she takes another sip of her coke.

“You should consider yourself lucky, getting to see my leaf photos. They are very close to my heart.” All Matty can do at this is scoff, he is now the one rolling his eyes. Sadie’s attention is diverted by a sheet of paper being waved in her face. She turns to George with a slight glare, and he backs into himself a bit. “Fine. What do you not understand? It’s just English.”

“I just don’t get it. English doesn’t make sense, I think you’ve forgotten that I am a well-travelled man, Sadie. I’ve been all over the place.” Sadie fixes the boy with a sigh, a straight-faced sigh. She lets his sentence linger in the air as she readjusts on the bedroom floor. She lays on her front as she reads what George has written. It’s not bad, but it’s also not great. And so, she tells him such.

“I mean, it’s not bad, but it’s not great. You could maybe, I don’t know, sprinkle in an adjective here or there, don’t think that would hurt.” Is all she manages to get out before a pillow is lobbed, quite forcefully, at her head. In retaliation she throws the paper back at George. “Well, you can do it yourself then, can’t you?”

“No, no, no! Sadie I didn’t mean it! My hand slipped!”

As the day turned to night the boys gradually left until it was just Matty and Sadie left sitting on his floor, sharing chips that Denise had cooked for them. Sadie put one in her mouth and glanced out the window, noticing it was snowing again, the sigh that came out of her mouth wasn’t meant to sound quite as pathetic as it did. Matty stopped strumming on his guitar and turned to her with furrowed brows, at the sudden silence she met his eyes. “I can’t bike home in this weather.”

“Why did you even bike here in the first place? And why were you crying?” Sadie shakes her head and breaths out a laugh. How does she even answer this? She could be honest, lay her cards on the table, and tell him all about her mum. Or she could be partially honest and tell him that her mum just doesn’t make time for her. Or she could blatantly lie, she’s on her period or something like that. As she weighs up her options she lets out a barely audible hum and Matty cocks his head at her.

“It’s just my mum. She never makes time for me. Refused to give me a lift and I didn’t want to cancel so I biked here. That’s all, I’m okay now, spending time with you guys makes me okay.” Matty’s head falls to rest on Sadie’s shoulder silently. He doesn’t know what to say to her, so he just starts strumming the guitar again. A smile rests on Sadie’s slightly pink cheeks as she hums along to the song Matty is playing, she doesn’t know it to name, but she definitely knows it. “I didn’t think I’d actually make friends in high school.” Matty doesn’t say anything for a minute, processing Sadie’s words.

“Of course you were gonna make friends. I think you’re too good to just be our friend, frankly I’m shocked you put up with our bullshit.” Another beat of silence falls upon the pair. “Just come here if your mum’s being a pain, we’ll cheer you right up.” Sadie smiles at this and feels tears brimming her eyes, and she doesn’t know why. At the sudden sound of the door opening Matty lifts her head and Sadie rubs at her eyes.

“Right, Sadie, I’ve just tried phoning your house phone three times to no answer, so the spare room is set up for you, let me know when you pair decide to sleep.” Sadie doesn’t hear much of what Denise said after hearing that her house was phoned three times, and nobody answered. What if something had happened to her? She sighs and smiles up at Denise from the floor, thanking her before picking at the loose pieces of carpet on the floor. When the door shuts, the tears flow. Matty has never been more panicked in his entire life, he thinks. How the fuck do you comfort your crying best friend?!

“Hey, hey. Come here.” He wraps an arm around her shoulder and all she can do is sigh. She knows if she speaks it’ll end in even more tears, her voice will refuse to work. She gives in and leans into Matty’s touch, the weather outside is a stark contrast to how she feels under his arm. After a few minutes of her silently crying, she dares a glance up at him and sees him staring at the wall across from him with slightly widened eyes, the sight makes her giggle, breaking him from his trance. He looks down at her and joins in the laughter, not knowing why they’re laughing but glad she’s not crying as hard anymore. Yet his eyes widen again when she stops laughing and opens her mouth.

“I want to know why they don’t care about me. I haven’t done anything.” Matty sighs at this, a sick part of his brain wishes he could relate just so he’d know what to say. He looks down at Sadie who is now lying on his floor, upside down from where he sits. He lays down next to her, top and tail, both teenagers looking up at the ceiling, feeling things too big for them to even comprehend, things they shouldn’t have to feel. “Sorry, I feel like the mood is ruined.”

“What mood? You’ve been off all day, making me feel sad. I wish I could make it better.”

“I wish you could, too.”

Sadie has no desire to celebrate her 15th birthday that following Summer. But she’s been faced with no choice. In George’s words they “had to because you only turn 15 once.” George had turned 15 earlier that year and didn’t seem to share that sentiment on his birthday, all they did was go to Matty’s house after school and sit in his living room for six hours. But he was insistent that the group had to go out for dinner, he’d gotten Denise on his side which ultimately led to Sadie agreeing. Her mother wasn’t best pleased, but she’d grown to not care, and her mothers grown to know she can’t fight her anymore.

She got dressed in rapid speed, desperate to get out of the house and reunite with her best friends. She hadn’t even gotten as much as a card from her parents and that says more to her than any words could have, she isn’t even sure they know her birthday is today. Pulling on her jeans, probably quicker than the speed of light, she grabs her jacket and runs down the stairs, she shouts a bye to anyone who cares and hops on her bike to Matty’s house. They’re all meeting there for some big surprise before they go out to dinner.

The August sun is beaming down on her face, she pauses and squints up at the sky and notices how blue it is, she smiles and looks back down at her bike. She decides that draping her jacket over the handlebars is a better idea, her backpack is half on her back because she was in such a rush. When she bikes the familiar back road she takes note of how the trees have turned from pathetic twigs to bright green scenery, she shuts her eyes for a second and let the Summer air infiltrate her lungs. She is grateful to be alive.

When she biked round the corner at the end of Matty’s road she could see all the boys engaged in a water fight, her urge to turn right back around grows stronger the closer she gets, George’s pathetic screams and Matty’s maniacal laughter grow louder, and she can’t help but laugh to herself. She hears Denise scolding Ross for going too rough and shakes her head as she throws her bike down on the driveway, climbing off and running away from all the boys who immediately turn on her with their water attacks. “Hey!! Stop, it’s my birthday!”

George laughs louder than Sadie had ever heard someone laugh before, probably because the boys weren’t targeting him anymore. She squeals and tries to run into the house, but Adam blocks the door, and she feels more water shooting at the back of her head. She hits his chest and tells him to move at least fifty times, but he doesn’t budge so she runs. She runs round the house to the back garden where she knows Matty keeps the water guns, just as she suspected there’s a pile of them, half-full, on the grass. Sure, they’re the shit ones, but they’ll do the job.

She hears a gasp behind her. “She’s found the pile, run.” She laughs and whips herself around, gun in each hand, to the pathetic squeals of four boys who run back around to the front of the house. There’s a knock on the kitchen window which distracts Sadie for a second, she sees Denise waving wildly at her, she waves back and sees her saying “Happy Birthday!” She laughs and runs round the house to get the boys back.

A half hour later Denise calls out the front door for them to come in. They all race into the house, Matty being shoved by George and Sadie laughing so hard she stops in her tracks. She gets stopped in her tracks even further when she sees the pile of gifts under the TV. She gasps quietly and barely hears everyone wishing her a happy birthday in unison, the tears pricking her eyes are stinging the back of her throat. This is the most anyone’s done for her birthday. George puts an arm round her shoulder and shakes her slightly, then slightly shoves her to the presents. “Save the one with the pink wrapping paper for last.”

Sadie’s bottom lip wobbles and she lets out an exasperated laugh. “Guys, this is too much. I don’t even know what to say.” She moves towards the gifts as if they’re going to jump out and scare her. She sees the three cards on the top and picks them up, sitting down on the floor in front of the TV. The boys, Denise, Tim, and Louis are all scattered across the couches and the floor too, just watching. She opens the one from Denise, Tim, and Louis first and smiles through teary eyes at the kind words written on the page. She has the same reaction to the other two cards, one from all the boys, one from just Matty.

After a while Sadie’s face is wet with tears, she’d laughed at some of the funny gifts, and with her new necklace round her neck she looked at the last gift, the pink one, cautiously. “Is it alive? Am I gonna be scared?” Matty laughs and shakes his head. She lifts it into her lap and looks at the tag, it reads that it’s from the boys. Before she opens it Denise cuts in.

“They all saved up for this on their own. Came up with the idea and everything.” Sadie looks to the group of boys on the other couch who all look very smug, she rolls her eyes at their faces and turns back to the gift. She carefully unwraps it and can’t help the sob that comes out of her mouth. The new Sony camera is sitting in front of her. When she gets hold of herself she opens the box and gasps at the sight of it. “Guys, oh my god. I can’t take this, you’re kidding.”

“Well, none of us know how to use it.” Sadie tackles the four of them into her arms, jumping on top of them all on the couch, muttering a hundred thank yous under her breath. She doesn’t even know how the boys managed to afford it, maybe some of Matty’s odd jobs he was doing helped, or Ross’ job down at the shop. She didn’t know, but she knew she would never forget this. Sadie felt that same feeling again from earlier. She was grateful to be alive.

By the time Matty’s 18th rolls around, the rest of the group have a plan. They’ve all saved up enough money to buy tickets to Leeds festival, and they’ve all chipped in to get one for Matty’s birthday. Sadie wasn’t allowed to go before, but Denise gave in this year and let her tag along with the group. She makes all of the parental decisions for Sadie now, since she pretty much lives at the Healy’s house. Denise’s reasoning was that it would be after her 17th birthday, deeming her old enough to go. Matty, Ross, Adam and Jamie had gone last year but all they had talked about when they came back to Sadie and George was how excited they were to go next year, the full group.

Ross, George and Sadie were currently sat in Matty’s back garden, waiting for Matty and Adam to get home from work. Sadie and Ross were sharing a cigarette and talking about the lineup for Leeds. More like arguing. George was observing with a cigarette of his own, he’d only spared one to the duo because he’s stingy. “No, Sadie. Nine Inch Nails are more exciting than the fucking Smashing Pumpkins. Think of it, you’re in a muddy field what would you rather listen to.”

Sadie looks at him like he’d grown a second head. “The Smashing Pumpkins.” Ross just groans, George laughs loudly. “What?! I would!”

“You’re actually fucked in the head, Sadie. George, please back me up.” He passes the cig back to Sadie who takes it and looks at George with a raised eyebrow. He takes a sip of his coke and looks away from the pair, whistling at the sky. Sadie laughs and passes the cigarette back to Ross. He tells her to finish it, so she does.

“No, to be fair to both of you, I’d rather be at Paramore. If I had to choose.” Sadie and Ross both share a look and collapse into each other laughing.

“Okay, one, Paramore is on Sunday, we’re talking about Friday. And two, they weren’t even in the equation to begin with.” Ross nods at Sadie’s words and George just sticks his middle finger up at the pair, who laugh at him again. They hear the back door opening and turn to see Matty, they shut up about their prior argument quite quickly. The trio share a look and have to hide their laughs.

“Hello boys. And Sadie.” They nod up at Matty who cracks open his coke and pours it over the ice in his glass. He looks at the three that have gone silent and squints his eyes slightly before taking a sip of his coke and lighting a cig. Sadie looks at the other two who are giving her looks as if to say, “Say something.”

She turns back to Matty, who turns to her. “How was work?” George lets out a barely audible groan and she looks at him incredulously. Matty nods around his glass and then kind of shakes his head.

“It was okay, not busy, boring. I like it there, though.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome for getting you that job. I’ve been there for like a year now. Remember when I walked in one day and George was just standing in the kitchen? That was stupid.” George laughs at her and she turns to him. “No, I was so confused.”

“I was working, where did you want me to stand?”

“It would’ve been nice to know you were working at the fucking place?” George shakes his head.

“Wanted to surprise you.”

“Some surprise that is, George!” He, yet again, sticks his middle finger up at her. This time she does it back. Matty scoffs and leans his head back with a sigh, he stretches his arms and one of them comes to rest on the back of the bench behind Sadie.

She points up at the sky, the sun is setting behind the clouds which cast a pink hue down on the group of four. They stay outside until the sun is probably in the middle of the sky in Australia. Adam arrives not long after Matty and Sadie gives him a subtle nod and thumbs up, trying to tell him that they got the Leeds tickets today. He looks confused at first, but he gets it after a minute. When Matty goes inside the four speak in whispers about how they have to tell Matty, because George is unable to keep it a secret. The back door swings open again and the four sit up straight. “Right, you guys are hiding something from me.” Sadie can’t help herself.

“We’re going to Leeds.”

Leeds was a fucking nightmare. Everyone fought. Everyone made up. Then they fought again. They all got so high they probably couldn’t see. Ross and Sadie ended up seeing Nine Inch Nails together after losing everyone else, and despite being in the clouds, Sadie remembered to act like she didn’t want to be there. Until she actually started enjoying herself. And George got to see Paramore. Almost. He passed out and Sadie shouted at him in the medical tent after he just came to because she was missing out, she was forced to take him to the medical tent.

Sadie was sick on some girl’s shoes at the Kings of Leon set. It was her, George and Adam having the time of their lives until some older girl started flirting with George, obviously he was loving it, but Sadie was already having a bad high and when she saw the way that girl was looking at George she just couldn’t help it! It all kicked off when George and the girl teamed up and tried to fight her. George was forced to take her to medical and as she was thrown over his shoulder he was yelling about how she’d ruined the weekend.

Safe to say the drive home was silent. Matty had the biggest hangover behind the wheel and Ross was cradling Sadie in the backseat as if she were his child, George was practically hanging out the window on the other side of Sadie. The one memory she has in the car is when they were all sat on the grass, ages away from any music, when Matty turned to the boys and said, “Reckon we’ll be on one of these stages soon?” The question was ringing through Sadie’s mind.

A few days later the group were all sat in Matty’s garden (like usual) with drinks in hand, reminiscing on the festival after they’d all taken some much needed time away from each other. Anytime Matty’s eyes caught hers she felt her heart stop. She isn’t sure he remembers but the day after they got back Sadie jolted awake with a vision of her kissing Matty. She doesn’t know when or if it actually happened, but it seemed too real to be something she conjured up in the middle of the night. Ever since, she’ll wake up in a cold sweat with visions of Matty’s lips on hers. She remembers it being a life-changing kiss, though, so there’s that at least.     

Sadie makes a point to be the last to leave Matty’s house, she’ll probably end up sleeping here tonight, like usual. It’s a rare sight to see Sadie sleeping in her own bed these days, it probably occurs once a month at most. When Adam shuts the door behind him, Sadie feels her heart fall out of her ass, the silence is less than comfortable. If she can feel the shift in energy surely Matty can. He sits down beside her and turns to her. “Do you remember?”

Sadie feels like she’s died in her seat. Her eyes have practically fallen out onto the dining table. She spins her glass on the table awkwardly, thinking of what to say. What would he say if she lied? Would he pretend it never happened? She decides not to lie, because when his face is as close to hers as it is right now, she thinks she’d like to kiss him again. “Yeah… Do you?”

“Wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t, hmm?” Sadie feels like her 14 year old self, meeting him for the first time. Her face is flushed pink, she’s picking at the tracksuit bottoms on her thighs, and she’s avoiding eye contact. She wishes the ground would eat her alive, because one thing about Sadie is she doesn’t know how to flirt. “Hurt me seeing you kiss that other guy the next day.” As he says this his hand has come up to play with the loose strand of hair that had fallen out of the front of her ponytail. She looks up at him through her eyelashes. Her voice is no louder than a mutter.

“Sorry, didn’t know what I was doing, don’t even think I knew where I was.” Matty laughs softly at this and looks down at his lap, but his eyes catch Sadie’s nervously picking at the loose thread on the seam of her tracksuit. He feels his heart skip a beat as he grabs it. This makes her face him, looking into his eyes. The silence around them is suffocating and Sadie feels like she might pass out on the floor. When he makes the move to shuffle slightly closer, she smirks at his face. She doesn’t know where she grew the confidence but when she mutters, “Just do it.” He breaks the distance.

The butterflies in her stomach feel cliché, the way the kiss picks up in pace feels even more so. His lips on hers feels like coming home to your own bed after you’ve been abroad for a week. It feels like the smell of your own house after being away for a while. She knows that when her hand comes up to the back of his neck that it holds an ulterior motive, this is confirmed by his hand on her hip, guiding her closer. She wants to consume him in this moment. When they break away for a breather, Sadie doesn’t open her eyes, she doesn’t want to face this moment, but when she feels a squeeze on her hip she can’t help but open one eye. Matty laughs and leans his forehead to hers.

“Sleep in my room tonight.” That’s all that Sadie has ever wanted to hear.

The slight fling between Sadie and Matty didn’t really last for very long. The group all moved into a flat together and the flame between them just kind of flickered out. George noticed the change in Sadie’s demeanour ever since. He was the only other person who knew about Matty and Sadie, but because he was the best friend of both he had to be there for both. It was eating him alive. He was laying in Sadie’s bedroom, joint between his lips. They were sharing it.

“He fucks anything with legs. But I can’t move on. What’s with that?” Sadie plucked the joint from George’s mouth, and he rubs his eyes his face with a groan. He watches the smoke leaving Sadie’s lips intensely, staring at the way it clouds up in the air and dissipates into nothingness, this is how Sadie and Matty’s relationship felt. He sits up slightly on the bed with an indignant sigh.

“His way of coping, I suppose. He didn’t exactly get an explanation as to why you stopped sleeping in his room. Now he just needs someone sleeping there to fill that void for him.” It’s Sadie’s turn to sigh now. She knows George is right, but she doesn’t like the answer and she doesn’t want to hear that he’s suffering. He’s being a bitch and he should just come and speak to her. Silence falls over the duo and George stubs out the joint gently before opening his arms for Sadie.

She isn’t feeling very grateful to be alive.

[forcryingoutlloud]

(not so) guilty pleasure

this fic is part of my pornstar au which you can find here!

a/n; I think this is my longest fic ever?? and it might be ass, sorry! Despite people telling me I'm good at smut, I'm still not too sure I believe them… but I keep writing it anyway lol. Is this realistic? No! But that's half the fun of smutty fanfiction! Enjoy this if you can, and if you don't that's fine too, just don't be a dick about it lol

Content warnings; subby matty, free use, edging, blow jobs, sex, masturbation, hand jobs, teasing, swearing, calling matty "princess" overstimulation, making porn/filming sex, sex toys, squirting, tying someone up, ruined orgasm, repetitive/ bad writing and overuse of many words.

word count; 8.1k ish

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“You'd really be into that?” Matty says with wide eyes, he’d been dancing around the idea of bringing this up for a while, but he was terrified he'd scare you off with the very mention of the words “free use”. Instead, you were immediately nodding your head and twisting your hair around your fingers. The same look you always get when you're thinking about something you find hot, Matty recognises it from the way you gaze at him from the side stage at 1975 gigs.

“Absolutely, baby. I play with sex toys for a living, and now I finally get to use you as one.” You can't help but tease Matty a little, pecking him on the lips as soon as you finish talking and flopping down onto the bed below you, flipping over and turning off the lamp next to your head.

Matty stays motionless next to you, and you swear you can almost hear the cogs turning in his head. Every bone in your body wants to flip over and fuck him senseless, but isn't the anticipation half of the fun? 

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You wake up Matty the next day by pressing kisses to his neck, licking and sucking every inch of skin you can see. You can feel him stirring underneath you, and as soon as he processes you on top of him, he sighs happily and cranes his neck to the side. His brain isn't the only part of his body stirring, and before long, you can feel the distinct outline of his growing erection in his boxers.

“Morning pretty boy, wanna be my little toy today, hmm?” You whisper into his ear, biting the lobe and pulling it with your teeth. Matty whimpers at your words, nodding his head assuredly as soon as you finish speaking.

Matty knows your rules, though, and manages to force a “yes, please-” out of his chest before you even tell him to use his words. You smirk against his skin at the needy whimper that quickly follows his plea. Then you start sucking an especially harsh hickey on his neck, just high enough to be seen over any of his shirts and in the perfect spot that meant the top of the collar would brush against the sensitive skin, reminding Matty of exactly who owns him.

You know just what Matty is expecting, blissful soft morning sex that ends with him filling you with his cum as you finish around him with breathy moans. The image of you riding him as he gropes your tits and watches the sunlight dance over your body is almost visible in his half-hooded eyes. But the last thing you want to do is be predictable when you have an opportunity like this.

You're gonna torture him, and he's going to fucking love it.

So when you swing off his body and stand up from bed, you can't help but smile at his annoyed whine. If he thought that was bad, you knew he'd be fucking sobbing by the end of the day. 

“Come on, angel, did you think we were gonna lie in bed all day? We've got things to do sweetheart, come get dressed with me, yeah? I've got an outfit in mind for you today” You flash Matty a sickly sweet smile, and he almost thinks he sees a flash of evil behind your eyes, but he quickly writes it off as something else.

Although it is pretty evil the way you swing your hips as you stroll to the walk-in wardrobe with just panties and a flimsy pyjama top on. Matty scrambles out of bed after you, eager to get today started.

One of the many pros to a rich rockstar boyfriend is the closet space, Matty had a massive walk-in wardrobe with everything you could possibly want in it. His endless collection of vintage band t-shirts were some of your favourite pieces, and you have definitely stolen a few too many, but isn't that the tax that comes with having a girlfriend? However, you don't hover near the shirts for too long today, b-lining towards the section of the wardrobe you'd only found recently; the skirts.

After a revealing text conversation and then at the “sleepover” that followed, you learnt all about Matty's affinity for skirts and feeling pretty, and you can't deny that the image of him in a skirt made your head spin. So, you grab your favourite of his collection, a long black floral skirt that always makes your heart race.

Next, you turn to look at his massive amount of jumpers, rifling through them until you find the object of your desires. It's definitely too big for your boyfriend, falling off his shoulder whenever he wears it, but the green knit jumper was perfect for your plans today, leaving just enough skin for you to tease. You already have visions of tracing his collarbones with your tongue and listening to the pained whimpers that fall from Matty's lips.

You pass the clothes to Matty wordlessly, and he immediately obeys, slipping off his shirt and putting on the jumper you passed him. You watch as he slides the skirt up his thighs, smiling as it falls around him. He grabs a pair of boxers from the drawer behind him, too, putting them on under his skirt. But you're not done playing dress up just yet.

“Take your boxers off,” you demand, crossing your arms over your chest and staring at the man in front of you.

“What? Why?” Matty’s face scrunches up at your request. If you really had things to do today, he didn’t want to be strolling the streets of London with no underwear on. It might sound hot in theory, but in practice, it just seemed like a recipe for chafing and being arrested for accidentally flashing someone.

“I wasn't asking. Take them off. Now.” Even before his brain catches up with his hands, Matty is slipping his boxers off under his skirt, the force in your voice making his body move instinctively. Part of him hates that you don't have to really do anything before he’s scrambling to please you, but the other part loves to worship the ground you walk on whenever he can. His mind flashes back to late nights that used to just feature you on a computer screen, so having you in person is something Matty can never take for granted.

“Good boy,” you tilt your head teasingly at Matty as you speak, smirking at the quiet whine that falls from his lips at your words, he was so fucking easy to rile up and you plan to exploit exactly that. All day.

You flash a sickly sweet smile at Matty as you take off your shirt and sink to your knees in front of him, watching his eyes widen as his breathing stutters at the sight of you. You looked like the vision Matty had of you in hundreds of wet dreams, with the same sweet smile and eager eyes. Already your lips were shining, your eyelashes brushing your cheek as you blinked up at Matty, growing more doe-eyed and eager the further down you sank onto the floor below you.

Delicate fabric slips through your fingers as you grab the hem of the skirt, passing it to Matty wordlessly. His shaking fingers brush yours as he grabs the skirt from you. He sucks in a sharp breath when his skin grazes yours, electricity passing through him at the contact.

“See isn't it so nice that I can have you whenever I want? Don’t need any extra layers getting in the way, baby. Hold that pretty skirt up for me, yeah? Want to you watch me the whole time.” Your hand grips the base of his dick, and you can already feel him hardening in your grasp. All the blood rushes from Matty’s head down just at the sight of you, so when your overheated skin finally touches his, he can't stop the shaky breaths and half-stuttered sentences that fall from his lips.

As your hand slides up his shaft, Matty gasps, fighting every urge to throw his head back at the bliss of your touch. But he keeps his eyes trained on you, and he's happy he did. Matty's jaw drops as he watches you stick your tongue out, gripping his dick and tapping his tip on your outstretched tongue. Even with the brisk touch, the feeling of your hot mouth on him forces a groan out of Matty's chest, staring down at you in awe.

He thinks he might die when a droplet of spit falls from the tip of your tongue and drops onto your bare chest, dripping off your tits and onto the rug below you.

“Fuck-” he whimpers, closing his eyes for a few seconds to try and commit the way you look to memory. But the loss of your hand around him and the feeling of your tongue moving away from him make his eyes rip open, staring down at you in frustration.

“Eyes. on. Me. Don't close them again.” You demand, once Matty gives you a half-hearted promise and a slack nod, you press a kiss to the tip, giggling lightly as beads of precum dribble out as soon as your lips leave him. A brief thought passes your mind that you should've put lipstick on before sinking to your knees, knowing Matty loves watching the ruby red ring move further and further down his cock, but you file it away as an idea for later.

Your cheeks hollow as you finally wrap your lips around him, staring slowly and just focusing your efforts on the head of his dick. Mouthing it and wrapping your tongue around his tip, teasing under the head with the end of your tongue. A rush of heat comes over Matty, and every nerve in his body is on fire, the feeling of your lips sucking around him was so pleasurable it teetered on the edge of pain, his whole body felt electrified. But still, Matty worships every move you make.

Every few minutes, you sink your mouth deeper onto him, taking more and more of him in your warm mouth. Your tongue traces the underside of his dick, licking along the vein that pulsates with every move you make. Each time your lips sink lower, Matty’s mumbling appreciation becomes more incoherent, and by the time he's fully sunk into your throat, he's stuttering half-words and fighting the urge to buck his hips forward.

A red flush covers his chest and cheeks, and a blissed-out look sits on his face, his half-hooded eyes hazy with lust. The air of the wardrobe is filled with his desperate moans and the wet sticky noises of your mouth. One of your hands sits around the base of his cock, working the part don't have in your mouth and meeting your lips with every pump. Spit strings between your hand and your lips, strands of salvia falling and decorating your bare chest. The other grips his hip hard, leaving crescent-moon-shaped marks on his delicate skin. 

His pulse races beneath his skin as he watches your puffy spit-coated lips sink further and further down his cock. And Matty can't help but stare at you like you're a piece of fine art, studying every aspect of your looks. He fights to remember the way your cheeks look hollowed around him, the way your lips look coated in a mixture of saliva and his pre-cum. He watches your eyes roll to the back of your head when you take him as deep as you can, feeling his dick twitch in your throat.

Your merciless rhythm and the look of bliss on your face have Matty inching closer and closer to the edge every second, your eyes trained on him, watching every reaction that comes across his face. You can tell he's getting close. The way his dick is twitching and leaking in your mouth tells you everything his mindless babbles can't.

You take your mouth off of Matty for a few seconds, using your hand to spread your spit all over his straining cock. Matty gazes down at you in wonder, his hands itching to drop the skirt gipped between his fingers and card them through your hair instead, gripping every hair and using it to buck into your mouth helplessly. But he stays motionless, anticipation bubbling inside him.

Your eyes meet his as you lean forward, pressing hot kisses up his shaft, using your tongue to tease the skin between your lips. Without warning, you sink your mouth around Matty, taking him as deep as you can, every inch of him filling your throat.

Matty feels your throat constricting around him, practically choking on his dick. Any chance he had of sticking to your rules was gone. His brain was melting out of his ears as your warm mouth surrounded him. Matty throws his head back carelessly, his curls falling behind him. As his neck stretches, you can see a display of old and new hickies blooming on his neck, watching as his Adam's apple bobs with each heavy swallow.

But, you can't let him get away that easy.

You rip your mouth off of Matty, wiping your lips with the back of your hand as he cries above you, wrenching his head to look down at you with tears brewing in his eyes. He looks so pretty you almost take him in your mouth again, and you have visions of him cumming over your face and tits, but you don't crumble. Instead, you stand up, grabbing one of his t-shirts from the closet and covering your spit-soaked chest. 

“Wha- what are you doing” Matty whimpers, his own hand inching to his dick, desperate for some type of release. You harshly slap away his hand, ripping the skirt from his grip and letting it fall over his still throbbing dick.

You grip his painfully hard cock through the fabric, giving it a mean squeeze as you talk, ignoring his pained whimpers. “I said to keep your eyes on me, and you didn’t. If you can't listen, you don't get to cum.”

You start to walk out of the wardrobe, leaving Matty a breathless mess behind you. But you usher him along quickly, “Come on baby, m’ not done with you yet. The days just getting started.” Matty's feet start moving immediately at your words, trailing after you without a second thought.

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You act like your little scene in the wardrobe hadn't happened, leaving Matty to consider whether this morning was real or if it was just an especially realistic wet dream. The only thing keeping him rooted in reality was his slowly softening erection beneath his skirt. 

In your effort to act casual, you ask Matty if he’ll make scrambled eggs for breakfast as you put the coffee on, an even trade of work. Matty's head is still hazy as he nods, moving across the kitchen in a daze, grabbing the pan and eggs.

He's been standing at the oven for about 3 minutes when he starts to feel you inching closer to him, but he writes it off as leftover desperation clouding his already foggy morning brain. Suddenly, your touch convinces him that maybe he is still in reality.

Your hand slides around Matty's chest, and you immediately feel him tense at your touch. A smirk covers your face as you move your hand lower and lower, scratching his skin through the loose knit of his jumper. Matty's hands freeze just as your hands sit right above where he needs them most, the eggs sizzle on the hob already slightly burning.

“Stay focused baby, don't wanna burn our breakfast, yeah?” You whisper, licking the outline of his ear before pressing featherlight kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. Matty clears his throat and tries to start moving the spatula again, but as soon as your hands slide lower once again, he stops.

However, this time, you don't. Your hand moves further down slowly, and you lightly palm him through his skirt, teasingly moaning in his ear at the contact. Matty throws his head back at the feeling of your hands on him. The fabric of his skirt grazing his skin was intoxicating. He could already feel the air around you both changing, filling with a heady mix of lust and desperation. 

“Wow, what got you this needy already, sweetheart?” You tease, giggling when Matty gulps at your touch, already biting his lip to hold his moans. He wants to answer you, but it feels as if everything he's ever learnt has suddenly left his head, and all he can do is revere your touch. Each slide of your hands feels as if some holy being was surrounding him, pulling at his skin and whispering filthy things into his ear. 

“You just focus on cooking our breakfast, baby. You’ll need lots of energy for today, yeah?” Matty’s slack nod gives you all the approval you need, finally sliding your hand under the waistband of his skirt and grabbing him, smirking as you feel his hardening cock in your grip. 

His head sits against your shoulder as you start to pull at his dick. The slight tug of your too-dry skin was making Matty’s gut tighten. His lips were wet with his spit, his teeth desperately pulling at them. Already, his eyes were rolled into his skull at the feeling of you pressed against him. Your intoxicating aura made his head spin.

One of his hands slides to grip yours, and you welcome it happily, squeezing it lightly to try and bring Matty back to earth slightly, but he’s not sure he would feel steady until your hands were off him. He couldn't think of anything worse than losing your touch, so he stayed up in the clouds, gasping and writhing at your will. Each painfully slow tug of your hands was tortuous, Matty’s hips bucking after each pump of your fist. 

Every breathy moan that fell from Matty's lips made your ego soar, power rattling through your veins at Matty becoming putty in your hands. Calculated twists and strokes were driving Matty insane, arching his back when you speed up ever so slightly. 

Stars start to dance across his vision as he edges closer and closer, your fingers twisting and teasing him whilst your mouth assaults his neck. Despite your tortuous speed, Matty can feel himself on the brink of finishing, short gasps falling from his lips as pleasure starts to dance through him.

Before he can finally fall over the edge, a shrill ring bursts his ears, making Matty's eyes shoot open in shock. It's then he's met with a plume of smoke. Still, he stays frozen, your hands keeping him steady, but the loss of your touch finally allows him to come crashing back to earth and to look at the fire brewing below him.

“FUCK” he shouts, quickly turning off the heat and throwing the pan of now black eggs in the sink. Matty can't bring himself to care about the burnt breakfast or ruined pan, though. The only thing running through his mind is how fucking close he was, and how his orgasm had been cruelly ripped away from him for the second time this morning.

He turns around expecting you to be there with a pout, and perhaps a helping hand, not with the eggs, of course...

However, when he spins all he sees is your swinging hips and a flash of your red lacy panties as you stroll to the front room, a mug of coffee in one hand and some toast in the other. You at least have the good grace to shoot him a wink over your shoulder as you saunter away, and he swears he's so close he almost cums just from that.

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It’s hours before you properly touch Matty again, and he feels every fucking second of it. Sure there have been a few “innocent” brushes, maybe even a small peck, but nothing real has happened since this morning and it's driving Matty insane. He thought this whole “free use” thing would mean he’d be exhausted from fucking all day, not being edged twice and then ignored whilst you watch America’s next top model re-runs on TV.

The shrill laughter from the TV is drilling into Matty’s skull, and he's almost about to point blank ask you if you want to have sex when he feels your foot start to trail up his lap. You wwre sat next to him, facing the TV side on with your feet draped in his lap, a position you and Matty often sat in. 

What wasn't normal is the teasing movements of your foot against his crotch or the steady pressure of you grinding it against his half-hard cock. A broken gasp is ripped from his chest after you press down just hard enough to make his chest heave, and you lose any resolve you had as soon as you hear it. 

Silently, you climb across the sofa, sitting yourself in Matty’s lap and pressing your lips against his before his brain can even catch up. Your hands grip his curls cruelly, pulling at every hair and smirking at the needy noises he makes. You can already feel Matty hardening beneath you. At this point, even the smallest touch makes him painfully ready for you. 

So you decide to have some mercy on him. Kind of.

“Pull up your skirt” you demand breathlessly, pulling away from Matty's lips for just a few seconds to bark orders at him before shoving your tongue in his mouth again, biting his bottom lip teasingly as you shift to the side so he can grip the fabric covering him.

He scrambles to follow your every word, breathlessly pulling at his skirt until his erection springs free. Precum was already dripping down his shaft, and you study the way blood rushes to his dick, watching the veins pulse faster as his heart begins to race under his skin. Even before Matty feels you around him he looks fucked out, a glazed-over look in his eyes and a slack jaw paired with wild curls standing up in every direction.

He watches your every move as you pull your panties to the side and move up his body, hovering over him for a few seconds just so he can feel the heat of your skin radiating onto him, dragging out his torture for as long as you can. Soon enough, you can't wait any longer and sink onto him with a shaky moan and a filthy smirk covering your face. 

Matty watches in awe and can't help but start to think you're finally going to give him the thing he's been envisioning since this morning. Images of watching you bounce on his dick as his hands trace your skin, grabbing at your tits as he finishes inside you flash across his vision. He almost deludes himself that his delusions are truly coming to life, but when you stay motionless around him, he feels any hope he has started to melt away.

His hands move up to the hem of your shirt, pulling at it and trying to ease it off your body, but you push his hands away, shaking your head disapprovingly at him before gripping his hands in yours. At first, you push them back down to his side, but what fun is that? So you grab them once again, placing his open palms over your tits and laying your hands over his, squeezing so he can feel the weight of you in his hands. You leave your shirt on because you're pretty sure if Matty saw your bare chest right now, he would cum without a second thought, and that wasn't part of the plan.

Quickly your hands leave his, and Matty expects you to start bouncing on his dick, even if it was so slow he could barely feel it Matty would still watch as if you were an angel on earth. Seconds drag on as you stay motionless with him inside you. Eventually, one of your hands slides between your legs, moving your underwear to the side and gasping as your fingers brush your oversensitive clit. 

Just as Matty hadn't cum that morning, neither had you, and that was certainly not the point of this little arrangement. He watches as your fingers slide through the wetness between your legs, collecting on your fingertips.

“You want a taste sweet boy, hmm?” Matty nods eagerly, sticking his tongue out of his mouth desperately. Wet fingers fill his mouth, and Matty can't stop his hips jumping at the taste of you on his tongue. He swears he could die between your legs with the sweet taste of you overtaking his senses. His tongue swirls around your fingers, drawing them deeper and deeper into his waiting mouth, chasing the taste of you.

You pull your finger from his mouth, dragging his lip down with your spit-soaked fingers and watching the trails of saliva spread over his face as his lip springs back into place. “Say thank you,” you demand as you bring your wet fingers back to your clit.

As soon as Matty whimpers a weak, “Thank you” you're rubbing your clit furiously, watching the way his eyes dart to every part of you, trying to study your every move. Even if Matty was just forced to the edge again, there's no way he's not filing this image away for later. 

“Fuck, m’so close. You wanna see me cum, baby? Watch me cum on your cock?” you stare into Matty's eyes as your fingers speed up once again. You know this would feel better with Matty's familiar calloused fingertips, but you need to watch him suffer beneath you. 

Every pained whine that falls from him only makes the rubber band inside you pull tighter. So when his head shakes, you have to hide your smirk, instead pouting your lips and tilting your head teasingly.

“No? Oh, I thought you loved watching me get off sweetheart,” you lean forward ever-so-slightly and Matty feels like he might die as he shifts inside you, especially now he can feel your fingers brushing against his cock with every desperate twist of them against your bundle of nerves.

“I do. But I wanna cum with you, please let me- fuck- let me cum with you, I've been so good.” puppy dog eyes and a pained look cover Matty’s face, and you almost want to crumble and feel him fill you with his cum. But the combination of his shaking bottom lip and the lust in his eyes keep you holding on

“Oh sweet boy, don't you get it? You're my toy, and toys don't cum, do they? You're here for me to get off, not the other way around. So just sit there and look all pretty for me.” you assuredly nod as you speak, smirking as you watch the tears building in Matty’s lashline. You knew if he really couldn't hold on, he'd use the safe word and you would immediately stop and do what he needed. So his silence told you everything you needed, he loved the torture just as much as you did.

“No no no. I've been- fuck- I've been so good. Never stopped looking at you. baby please-” Matty begs, but you cruelly shake your head as you throw it back, crying out as you fall off the edge, the rubber band inside you finally snapping. 

Never-ending pleasure licks up your spine, only heightened by your boyfriend's pained whimpers from beneath you. The feeling of your walls pulsating around him is the perfect torture, just enough to get him so close to the edge he can touch it, but not enough to give him that final push. Leaving him in the painful purgatory he’s been stewing in all day.

“No. shit- please,” he cries. You watch mercilessly as the tears trickle down his cheeks, leaning forward teasingly and licking one off his face. The shift of him inside you makes you both gasp, one from overstimulation and the other from the pure agony of being left throbbing once again. Matty watches with shaky breaths as the now familiar smirk comes over your face as you pull away from him, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling off with shaky legs. 

You can still feel the aftershocks rattling through you as you sit beside Matty again, spreading your legs and letting him gawk at the wetness that sits between your thighs. You hide your smile when you see his eyes fall between your legs immediately, his hips jumping as soon as he stares at your cunt. 

You know all Matty wants to do is flip up his skirt and jerk off until he's spilling cum across his thighs, but he doesn't. With a shaky breath, he moves the pile of fabric from around his hips and places it back over his straining cock that was still wet with the remnants of you, hissing as the once-soft skirt brushes his overly sensitive skin.

“Good boy,” you say softly, keeping your eyes trained on the TV, but you still don't miss the whimper that leaves Matty and the desperate look he shoots over at you. 

The power of keeping him so close he could cry was making your whole body light up. If you hadn't cum from feeling him inside you, you're sure you could just from the way his lip wobbled as he shuffles into your side, keeping his hips far away from your body. 

He wants nothing more than to hump your thigh needily and burrow his head into your neck, but he knows if he feels your soft skin brush his, he’ll cum. And today he is at your mercy, whatever that might mean. 

It's starting to feel like he was 16 all over again and even a strong gust of wind would get him hard, but how was he meant to stay sane when you were prancing around in practically nothing for the whole day whilst teasing him mercilessly?

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿

The day continues to drag on, and still Matty follows you around like a puppy, begging for any attention you’ll give him. You don't give him much, of course, gripping him through his skirt every once in a while and suddenly grabbing his face and kissing him until you're dizzy from the lack of oxygen. But nothing tangible, nothing that makes that simmering fire in him finally dim.

When you finally see him start to accept his fate, you can begin to do exactly what this has been building up to all day, that evil plan that has been simmering in the back of your mind since Matty brought this whole free use idea up. 

You knew you had some content to film, so what better time to do it than when your boyfriend is here and is so on edge even the brush of your fingers against his skin could make him cum?

“Come on, baby. I want to make you look even better for me, yeah? Do a little makeup for my sweet boy” You nod your head in the direction of your bedroom and start walking before Matty gets up, but you hear him scrambling behind you not even 3 seconds later, just as you knew he would.

Matty sits obediently at your vanity, keeping his hands in his lap as his eyes follow you around the room. He watches you gather your makeup but also sees you grabbing lingerie and your box of sex toys, and for some reason, he lets his hopes get higher once again. 

Maybe you’d do his makeup and then finally make him cum, and maybe he'd even get to use toys on you, and watch you fall apart at his mercy. Part of him yearns for some amount of power after everything you've pulled today, but that part of him seemingly melts away when you come sauntering up and place yourself in his lap, facing him with a sickly sweet smile on your face.

Matty's hands instinctively fall to your waist, gripping the fabric of your shirt harshly and staring up at you like he’s looking at a painting at an art museum, studying you in awe. You don't remove his hands like you would have done earlier in the day. Instead, you let him pull up your shirt until he can finally feel your skin against his. He doesn't completely remove it, not wanting to push his luck, but even the feeling of your overheated body against his hands made his hips jump.

“Stay still baby, let me make you all pretty for me.” You press a kiss to Matty’s lips after you speak, lingering just long enough that you feel his tongue run along the seam of your lips. You can almost feel the tip of his tongue running alongside the inside of your mouth, chasing the taste of you. Yet, you pull away just before he can push it inside your mouth.

Spit strings between you as you pull back, and Matty whimpers at the sight of it, his hips stirring once again as you turn to grab your eyeshadow. You had a very specific look in mind, having seen the Love Me music video a few too many times on your late nights stalking him. 

Powder spills out of the pallet as you swirl your brush in the electric blue shadow, gliding across his eyelids whilst shifting forward ever so slightly, making a groan rip from Matty’s chest and his eyes shoot open.

“Ah. stay still. You don't wanna make me mess up your makeup, do you, sweetheart?” You chastise Matty as you grind down on him slightly, watching with a smirk as his Adam's apple bobs in his throat. He nods wildly and shifts his hips one more time under the guise of “getting comfortable” before closing his eyes once again. 

One of your hands cups his cheek as you work on his eyeshadow, and you can't help but giggle when he gulps at the contact. Every unnecessary shift of your hips was fucking tortuous, but you played it off and getting the right angle, needing to make him all pretty for you. You decide to forgo the blush today, the flush of arousal making Matty's cheeks the perfect shade of orgasm pink, or lack of orgasm pink you should say.

Mascara is swiped on his eyelashes, and you are about to start smudging on his lipstick when a gasp is ripped from your lips. Every second that passes, you can feel Matty growing harder beneath you, the flimsy fabric of his skirt not letting him keep many secrets. The growing pressure of him against you is becoming dizzying, and you can’t keep up the blissful ignorance act anymore.

You place the lipstick back on the desk and grip Matty's shoulders, using them as leverage to start grinding down on him. Any chance of going slow dies when you see the hazy look in Matty’s eyes, and your hips start moving at an unrelenting pace against him. Circling and pressing down cruelly, Matty’s hard cock hits that perfect spot with every buck you make. He fights to stay still below you, but he can't stop his hips from jumping at the contact. 

“Does that feel good angel, tell me how good it feels, use your words, princess?” you demand. Matty cries out at the nickname, nodding desperately as you press down harder against him, the pressure driving him insane.

“Feels so good. Shit, love being your princess. Oh fuck-” Matty throws his head back as you rut your hips.

The air around you both feels thick with lust, both of you desperately sucking in oxygen as the feeling of pressing against each other was slowly becoming too much. Before it can feel too good, you stop, looking down at Matty with a heaving chest and watching his eyes flick from hope to pleading once again.  You apologise wordlessly, pressing a peck to his lips and grabbing the lipstick beside you to start swiping it over his kiss-bitten bottom lip. 

“You've been so good for me today, angel, following me around like a lost puppy, yeah?” Matty weakly whimpers in response, nodding his head as if his head isn't attached to his neck.

“So I'm gonna finally let you cum, does that sound good, princess?” Matty’s eyes shoot open at your words and you can't help but laugh at how much his face lights up, you can't wait to watch it crumble as you continue to speak.

“Just need to film something for my little fans first. If you sit in the corner and watch like a good boy I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.” You can almost see his heartbreak behind his eyes, but at least he'll get to watch you, he thinks. Seeing your film is something that Matty will never get sick of, as someone who used to watch behind a screen, seeing it in real life does not compare to hearing it through shitty computer speakers.

You lead Matty over to the chair in the corner of your room, and it's only then he notices the ties sitting around the arms and legs of the chair. He briefly wonders when you had time to set this all up, but every thought leaves his mind as soon as he watches your nimble fingers start to tie the knots around his wrists. 

Red nails catch the light with every twist of your digits, tying the knot with expertise, pulling away with a flourish when you're done. Hot breath comes across Matty’s face as you lean over him, keeping your lips just inches from his and leaning back when he tries to press forward.

His eyes trace your every feature as you stay in front of him. His nerves feel electrified just at the sight of you. Before he can get too comfortable with you near him, you saunter away, grabbing the lingerie off the bed and sneaking off to the ensuite, but you shoot him a wink before closing the door behind you at least.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿

When you return, Matty feels his eyes bulge out of his head at the sight of you. Baby blue lingerie sits on your skin,  delicate lace decorating every inch of you. Stirrups hold up your stockings, and Matty wants nothing more than to pull them with his teeth and watch them snap at your skin. 

He watches you set up your camera first, and he knows you're bending over further than you have to for his benefit, but he doesn't complain. Instead, watching the lace stretch across your ass with a blissed-out look on his face. Soon, confusion is falling over his features when you pull out a second camera, but everything falls into place quickly.

“Gonna film you too, baby, just for my benefit, yeah? It'll be so nice to watch my pretty boy so needy for me,” Before he even thinks, Matty is nodding with a slack jaw, his eyes focused on your tits with a blank stare.

You pull up the skirt around his legs and place it delicately around him before kissing his cheek and pressing play on his camera, doing the same to yours and then moving to the bed, sitting on your knees in the centre. 

Slowly your hands move from your side up to the clips connecting your panties to your stockings, and you hold eye contact with the camera as you start to pull your lace underwear down your legs, showing off your glistening cunt as you spread your legs and lie down. 

A pink vibrator and dildo sit in the middle of the bed next to you, and Matty watches as you click the toy on, listening to the low hum and studying how you bring it to your body, running it up your thigh slowly with one hand and using the other hand to tease your breast under your lacy bra.

Matty watches the scene in front of him with his jaw dropped, his eyes dancing around your body in awe. He can't stay focused for more than a few seconds, darting from the vibrator between your legs back up to your hands groping your tits, watching as your eyes roll in the back of your head as you twist a nipple. 

He strudies your hand, dropping from your chest to the dildo, trailing it up your legs and pressing it inside you with a sigh and a sickly sweet smile. He yearns to be the one touching you, to be the one fucking you, he wants to have his mouth on your skin. The heavy weight of the rope against his skin quickly reminds him who is in control here, and he watches you in front of him wordlessly.

He studies the way your slick starts dripping from your cunt, spreading your thighs and shining in a way that made him salivate. Matty can't keep himself quiet, whimpering and wining with every move you make. White knuckles grip the chair and Matty tries to fight his ties, but the heavy rope just cuts into his skin, no doubt leaving angry red marks in their wake.

Matty’s jumper was hanging off of one of his shoulders, showing the glow of his skin under the fabric. You know he wants nothing more than to rip it off and get his hands on you, but the heavy knots around his wrists keep him at your mercy. Every once in a while, your eyes shift over to him, unable to keep away from his writhing body and jumping hips.

The murmur of the vibrator against your clit was dizzying, every swirl of your wrist made goosebumps form under your skin. You could feel your pulse racing faster with each passing second, and a red flush growing up your chest, your cheeks already stained a pretty ruby-woo colour. Your jaw drops as you press the toy harder against you, speeding up the vibrations with a click of a button at the same time as you pump the toy inside you.

Valgluey you think you can hear Matty moaning from across the room, but you're too lost in pleasure to cast your eyes over to him, but his grunts and whimpers are enough to make the fire inside you burn brighter with every passing second. 

Your hands work the dildo inside yourself at a merciless pace, the same way Matty would be fucking you if he could. You imagine him hovering over you as you fuck yourself, the way he would bury his face in your neck and the noises he would make fill your mind.

Matty squirms in his seat, his hips jumping whenever you make a particular needy sound. He has seen the scene in front of him a million times, the same floral bedsheets and writhing body.

But not being able to touch because you're behind a screen and because he’s tied up are two very different things. Being able to smell your perfume filling the room and watching as you fuck yourself with a toy is driving Matty insane. It was just so real in front of him, he wanted to touch you, feel you, consume you. 

You look over at Matty one last time when you know you're about to come, and the image of him with mascara trailing down his cheek with smudged lipstick was just enough to push you off the edge, finally cumming with a shout.

Your legs shake as pleasure wrecks your nerves, skittering up your spine and making your head hazy. White stars dance across your vision as you keep the vibrator pressed against your clit, each vibration dragging on your orgasm. You felt yourself dripping onto the bed below, slick falling from your lips like the juice from a pefectly ripe peach.

After your aftershocks finally subside, and your soul finally re-enters your body, you pull the toy out from inside you and rise from the bed, clicking the camera off before slowly crossing the room to matty. Your jaw drops as you take in the image in front of you. 

His wrists are red raw from pulling at the rope, indents of the knots pressed into his skin. The once delicately placed fabric of his skirt is a mess around him, shifting with every circle of his hips. But what really catches your attention is the streaks of cum covering his overheated skin, milky streams of his release dripping down his shaft.

“I promise I didn't touch, you just looked so fucking hot and I couldn't help it. M’so sorry. Don't be mad please- didn't even feel good, I swear.” you watch as more black tears fall from his eyes, blue eyeshadow smeared down his cheeks too. 

“S’okay baby. I know you didn't touch, still tied up, aren't you? Let's get you free, yeah?” Your fingers start to untie the knots around Matty's wrists, rubbing the damaged skin as soon as he breaks free from the restraints. After he's free, you run to grab the camera that's been filming him, eager to see what he looked like the whole time.

Matty stays on his chair recovering as you sit back on the bed, one leg under the other as you watch the screen in front of you. The first few minutes are what you had been seeing the whole time, Matty's hip moving uncontrollably and tears brewing in his eyes. But just before you cum, you watch Matty crumble.

“Please- need to cum so bad. Fuck- it hurts please-” You hear his crackled voice come through the speakers, but clearly on the other side of the room the words lose all meaning once they hit your ears, your mind swimming in pleasure and unable to process anything.

Before he knows it Matty is crying out, spilling over his legs and painting the fabric of his skirt with ropes of white cum. The lack of contact made the orgasm painful, dragging on for what felt like hours but the pleasure was only a few seconds.

Tears stream down his cheeks, painting his face and jumper, his eyes glazed over as he watches you. You can tell he wants your hands on him, pulling at his dick and talking him through it. But he stares you across the room, and you see his eyes studying the way you finally pull the vibrator away from your skin and let your shaking legs steady.

You turn off the video and come over to Matty. His chest still heaves as he sits with his head thrown back. Wordlessly, you start sinking to your knees in front of him. Matty's head wrenches forward at the sight of you. You can see the nervousness in his eyes, and you place a hand on his thigh as you reassure him.

“No more, I promise. Just wanna make you feel good now, angel. will you let me?” You watch Matty gulp before nodding, his eyes widening as you start to place your mouth on him

You lap lightly as his dick, cleaning up the streams of his release from his skin. He's so oversensitive that it is not long before he’s gasping and gripping the arms of the chair. You see them itching to bury in your hair so you pull off him for a few seconds, leading his hands to grip your hair and hold your head. He only sinks one hand into your hair, the other grabs your hand and squeezes it.

After a few more laps of your tongue, he's cumming again, but this time only pleasure licks up his spine. His fingers tighten around your hand as he cums, and you don't stop the movements of your mouth smirking as you watch a blissed-out smile cover his cheeks. As soon as it becomes too much again, you pull away, climbing into his lap and peppering his face with kisses before planting your lips on his.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿

Matty's hair drips as you both emerge from the shower, dressing in your pyjamas and swapping random kisses. As you rub moisturiser into the marks on Matty's wrist, you can't help but pout at the angry burns on his skin. Before long, Matty is kissing away the look on your face and assuring you he’s okay.

Warm duvets surround you both as you settle in bed, Matty’s body pressed against yours from behind, his lips kissing up the side of your neck until you're giggling against him. 

“That was fun,” you say, giggling, leaning back into him behind you.

“Maybe for you,” Matty jokes, “na m’just joking, was nice. But next time, can you be the one being used? Not sure I can go another day like that.” Matty smiles when he feels you nod against him, already letting sleep drag you under.

[forcryingoutlloud]

girlie asking matty if she can wash his car. and matty being the boy and man he is says yes👀

oh he would absolutely lose his mindddddd. i think you’d do it as a surprise, wanting to catch him off guard. maybe he’d sleep in a little later than normal and you would sneak outside wearing nothing but a red bikini and one of his white tshirts thrown over top of it.

it wouldn’t take long for matty to come outside looking for you, having already called out your name throughout the house a few times and getting no answer. he would walk outside with furrowed brows, ones that would only deepen when he hears the sound of the water hose turned on. “baby? what are you-“ matty’s question would die in his throat as he turned the corner and was immediately met with the sight of you leaned over the hood of his car, sponge in hand as you wipe down the soap and water across his car. matty would gulp, eyes glued to the sight. you’d already be smirking before standing up, looking over your shoulder and shooting your boyfriend an innocent smile. “good morning, sleepy head.” matty would take the last few steps to stand directly behind you, eyeing you up and down, his voice deep and gravely. “good morning, darling. what’s all this about?” and you’d smile, turning your head back straight and leaning over to continue your work of wiping down his hood. “just trying to be nice. your car is all dirty.” you emphasize the word, mattys hands immediately find your hips, pressing his already half hard bulge into your ass. you bite your lip at the feeling, the bikini bottoms the only thing stopping him from grinding against your already throbbing core. matty’s fingers dig into your hip, “almost as dirty as you.” taking one hand off your hips in favor of leaning over your body, his chest pressed into your back as his arm comes out to lay a hand over yours on the sponge. his strong arms directing your joined hands on the sponge over to the side a little. “missed a spot, love.”

you clench around nothing, core throbbing and heat swirling in your stomach at the feeling of matty’s body covering your own, pushing you down further on the hood of his car. your nipples poked through the thin material of your bikini top and matty’s shirt, brushing against the cold water that ran against the hood. the feeling was mind numbing. matty squeezes your hand over the sponge, a stream of soap seeping from the object and running down your arm. matty takes his other hand off of your hip so he can push your hair to the side, giving him the freedom to kiss up the back of your neck, grinding his hips into your backside slightly as he pulls your ear lobe between his teeth. “i feel like i’m still asleep, you’re a fucking wet dream right now, fuck me.” you whine at his words, shifting against the hood and trying to grind your hips back against him but the angle made it quite difficult. “matty, please.”

matty would smirk against your neck, trailing a hand down under your his shirt and toying with the little bow that tied your red bikini bottoms together. “what, baby? you want me to fuck you?” his voice condescending and teasing. “right here outside in front of the whole neighborhood?” you whine, nodding against the hood, the water and soap mixing into your hair. “such a dirty fucking girl, of course you do. want everyone to see how i slut you out?” his fingers slipping through the bow that ties your bottoms together and loosening the strings. “please.” you beg, moaning at the feeling of your bikini bottoms falling down your thighs. “think you deserve it?” you nod, clenching your thighs together as matty’s hand runs along the expanse of your cool skin. “yeah? prove it.” and then he’s completely off of you, it felt as though the water hose had been placed right above your head as the sudden coldness that overtook your body at the loss of his.

you look at him over your shoulder, mouth dropped open slightly as you fought to catch your breath, matty palms himself through his sweatpants unashamed at the sight. “come on, then. don’t act dumb, baby, i haven’t even got my cock out yet and you’re already fucked stupid.” matty chuckles, dark and desire filled, his eyes matching. “prove to me that you deserve it. finish cleaning my car and if you do it well enough, i might let you have me.” you whine, core throbbing, hand immediately starting to swipe the sponge across the hood again, desperate to prove it to him. “don’t miss any spots though or i’ll leave you out here to dry.”

your stomach twists at the thought, frantically cleaning the hood of his car in desperation to get what you want. matty watches you with dark eyes clouded with lust, catching sight of your core peeking out at him every so often when your his shirt rides up every so often when you stretch over the hood to clean a new area.

matty doesn’t last too long, he’s surprised he made it as long as he did, the sight of you all wet and cleaning his car is something pulled straight out of a wet dream. one last look of the soap from the sponge trickling down your arm and his arms are back on you, grabbing your hips and flipping your around, slamming you down on the hood. “cant fucking take it anymore.” matty mumbles through gritted teeth, tugging the band of his sweatpants down far enough to pull his hard length out. “need to fuck you, need to fuck the shit out of my little slut.” wrapping your legs around his waist and sliding home so fast that you’re gasping for air, eyes rolling back into your head as matty starts fucking into you with fever. “matty, fuck.” you whine, reaching out to grab onto his arm for support. “oh my god.” you whine, manicured nails digging into his tattoos as he fucks you within an inch of your life, your body sliding against the wet, soapy hood with every powerful thrust he pounds you with. “fuck, matty.”

“gotta be quiet, baby girl, the whole neighborhood is gonna hear you and those sweet fucking sounds are only for me to hear.” matty’s voice is deep, gravely, spoken through a groan as he fucks into you impossibly harder than before, hips snapping into you so intensely that you knew you’d be sore tomorrow. “i can see my neighbor across the street is outside, bet he’d love to come get a look at you, he’d kill to have a chance with a pretty, young girl like you.” you whine at the reminder that the two of you were outside, out in the open, anyone could see. granted his car was parked to where the hood of his car was facing the house, no one would be able to see you without walking into his yard. but they could hear you. they could see matty standing in front of his car. and that was enough to have you clenching around him and digging your nails into his skin, most likely breaking the skin there as matty stands up straighter, the new angle had him fucking into you even deeper than before, feeling as though he was splitting you open. “oh, fuck, matty.”

matty’s smile is wicked and dark, reaching down to wrap a soapy hand around your throat. “you want him to hear you, baby? want him to know how good i’m fucking you? how well you take my cock?” you groan, eyes rolling back as his fingers tighten around your throat. matty winks, releasing your throat in favor of covering your mouth with the palm of his hand as his other lifts up to wave across the street. you clench are the sight, already moaning against his hand in anticipation of what you knew was coming. “good morning, bill.”

bill was nice enough, a few years older than matty, you’d spoken to him a few times. just quick conversation when you’re leaving your car and walking into matty’s house, giving him a small wave and asking how he was doing today. you clench, eyes rolling back, at the thought of what bill would think if he could see you now - all laid out on the hood of matty’s expensive car, wet and soapy and slutty as your boyfriend fucks you on it.

you can’t hear their conversation, too fucked out to focus on what they were saying, just able to know that he was still talking to the man while fucking into you with a pace that had you biting the palm of his hand, whining when matty replaces it by shoving two fingers in your mouth instead, keeping his face steady and neutral as he talks to the neighbor - as if you weren’t writhing underneath him, clenching around him, sucking on his fingers. it made you dizzy.

you reach down to pull your his shirt up your body, pulling your red bikini top down next to expose your tits, desperately squeezing them to relieve some of the pressure. matty reaches down blindly, two of his fingers immediately finding your swollen bundle of nerves and swirling around it in a pace that matched the one he was fucking you with, you bite down on his fingers at the pleasure that bloomed through you.

“alright, have a good day!” matty smiles, waving one last time at bill and then matty was crowding your space, leaning down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth as his fingers fly across your clit. the new angle gave him the the leverage to fuck you harder, faster, deeper. his teeth grazing against your nipple before he’s pulling off of it in favor of licking a stripe between your boobs, up the middle of your throat and ending the journey by crashing his mouth against your own. “dirty fucking girl, clenching around me and begging me to fuck you while i’m talking to my neighbor. my little cockslut, always so desperate for me, you’d take me anywhere. just happy as long as you’re stuffed full of me, isn’t that right princess?” you whine, desperate and pleading, nodding as you roll your nipple between two of your fingers. matty groans at the sight, reaching out blindly to grab at the forgotten sponge, holding the sponge up above your chest with a wicked smile before squeezing the soap out to drip down all over your bare chest. you moan at the contact of the cool soap hitting your body, spreading out across your body, covering your breasts and collecting down in the dip of your stomach. “fuck me, you’re so fucking hot.” matty groans, hips snapping into your own with fever now, swirling his fingers in small figure eights over your clit. “and so fucking tight, fuck. i don’t know how you’re still so tight even after all this time, princess, thought this pussy would be used to me by now.” you whine, clenching and causing matty to hiss at the feeling. “fuck, i’m so close. you close, baby? yeah? you wanna cum, baby girl? wanna cum on my cock?” a broken whine rips from your throat, heat swirling in your stomach and traveling down your thighs and spreading throughout your entire body. “please, please, daddy. fuck. i need it.”

“oh, fuck me.” matty groans, doubling his efforts on you. hips snapping into your own, fingers flying over your clit, as his hand wraps around your throat once more. “cum for me, princess. let the whole fucking neighborhood hear how good daddy fucks you.” and you’re falling apart immediately, moan after whine falling from your lips unashamed as your body shakes against the hood of his car as matty fucks you through your high, chasing his own. “good girl. good fucking girl.” matty coos. “that’s it, let them fucking hear you, want them to hear how fucked out you are from my cock.” you moan, nails digging into the skin of his arm as he chases his high, a groan pulled from his toes. “fuck, princess. i’m gonna-“ and then he’s spilling inside of you, a broken whine ripped from his throat as you clench around him to milk him of every drop. “fucking hell.”

eventually, matty pulls out of you, both of you winced at the feeling. and when matty’s cum starts to drip out of you and onto the hood of his car, he tosses the forgotten sponge over to you, winking. “missed a spot, love.”

[forcryingoutlloud]

only angel

gynecologist!matty healy x reader

A/N: the ppl voted and my blog is a democracy. i’ve written a couple blurbs abt this but here is the full fic :) i love this freak nasty man so here u guys go. (also, don’t like it? don’t read it! ;)) abt 3.6k words. also ty to my friends molly, olive, and josie for helping me out w bits and pieces of this. ily guys @think0fmehigh @automaticllamacycle @ilwysleep

warnings: smut 18 +, breeding kink, cum play, degradation, praise, size kink, corruption kink, taboo topics/power imbalance (doctor/patient), fingering, a lil oral (fem receiving), light choking, light spanking (once across the face, completely consensual), masturbation w toy (f!), mean dom!matty, use of Bunny, maybe petplay if u squint, dom and sub dynamics, problematic age gap maybe (reader is 22/23, matty is 29/30), dirty talk, lots more this is filthy etc..

You felt restless. Matty was at work, and you were home clenching your thighs together. You didn't have a class today, and so that meant no distractions either. You were ovulating, and your body was making sure you knew that fact.

Matty had left you aching this morning. Riling you up on purpose. Lingering touches on your thighs, caressing your bare skin. He didn’t listen to your whines or pleas, condescendingly reminding you that he has ‘important work to do, more important than getting you off.’ So, you lay in bed tossing and turning. Waiting for Matty’s return, however pathetic that sounds.

And time seemed to drag, nothing working as an efficient distraction. Every time you turned in bed, you swore you could smell Matty's scent each time. You couldn't find a comfortable position, and you were seriously contemplating going back to sleep. There was no reason for you to be awake anyway. Not when you had to just wallow here.

You would touch yourself. Slip your hand down under the waistband of your panties, rubbing your clit until you cum over your own fingers. But, you did make a promise. A promise to Matty this morning that you would be a good girl and wait for him to get home from work. That if you did wait, he would reward you.

You were on the brink of insanity, to disobey him or not? You didn't think you could, so you let your eyes flutter shut. Falling back into a state of light sleep, the white noise of the fan lulling you into a dream that you weren't going to remember when you woke up.

...

You woke up the same way you went to sleep, a dull ache between your legs. Grinding your teeth together, you threw the covers off your hot body and made your way to the bathroom. You were happy your boyfriend had a master bedroom with an attached bathroom, it made everything easier. You reached for your toothbrush, catching your reflection in the mirror. And, maybe you did look a little desperate. But who could blame you? It was really Matty's fault.

After you brushed your teeth, you decided you would take a cold shower. If nothing could snap you out of the state you were in, surely this would. You reached in, turning the handle to the coolest setting. Grabbing two towels and hanging them over the glass, stepping into the shower.

Even being in the ice cold shower for at least 20 minutes was no help. Images of you and Matty in the shower together came flooding back, only making you clench your thighs together more. How he would squeeze your hips if he was here, pressing you up against the glass and moving to get between your legs.

You shook your head as if trying to rid yourself of the thoughts. Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped one of the towels around your body. Opening the door to the bedroom, you walked to Matty's dresser and took one of his old band tees out. You threw it on after drying yourself off, along with a pair of simple white panties that had a small bow on the front. The pair you had worn when you first met him, you smiled at the thought.

After that, you crawled back into bed. You really had nothing to do. No work to catch up on, no shows to watch, and nothing to focus on. Your attention still lingering on the way your cunt throbbed under the fabric of your panties. You tried to remind yourself, listen to your promise.

But weren't promises made to be broken, anyway? You reasoned with yourself. You knew Matty. You knew that even his punishments could be taken as rewards. You knew that he could never do anything too bad to you. So, break the rules you did.

You tried to lose yourself in the pleasure, fingers working yourself as you shut your eyes tightly. But they didn't hit the same spots that Matty's did. And they never felt the same. Then, you remembered. You remembered the toy Matty had bought you so you could use it together. The one he kept in a shoebox in his closet, along with the other toys you two would frequently use.

You got up from the bed, searching for the black box on the floor of Matty's closet. Finding it almost immediately, taking the lid off and searching for the toy. A dildo that was almost as big as him, the next best thing if he wasn't there for you. Not that it felt nearly as good, but it sufficed when you were desperate like this.

Walking the familiar journey, you lied back down on the bed. The cold sheets making goosebumps raise on your arms. Matty's scent completely enveloped you now that you had his shirt on. You ran your hands over your own body teasingly. You knew you didn't have to do much to prep yourself, you've been ready all day.

You let your fingers slide under the band of your panties, tracing your slit. You were already so wet, moaning quietly as your finger bumped your clit. You moved the fabric to the side, beginning to get impatient with yourself. Your fingers swirled around your entrance, collecting the slick that was dripping from you and bringing it up to your clit.

You rubbed circles on your bundle of nerves, resisting bucking your hips into your own hand. You took the toy, bringing it down to your hole. The tip of the dildo prodding at your entrance, you pushed it inside of you slowly. Moaning out, one of your hands slid under your (Matty’s) shirt to tweak at your nipple. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood.

Pushing the toy fully inside of yourself, you brought your pointer finger to rub lightly at your clit. You could feel yourself clenching around it, brining your hand back to the base so you could move it in and out of you slowly. You breathing picked up, chest heaving as you allowed yourself to give in to pleasure.

That was your first mistake, you guessed. Or maybe that was not checking the time when you woke up. As you didn’t hear Matty’s car pull up in the driveway. Nor did you hear the front door close, or his footsteps as he made his way up the stairs. You didn’t hear the creek of the door, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back in pleasure. But, you did hear the clicking of someone’s tongue. You gasped, hand coming to splay out over your chest. Eyes opening wide, head shooting up to see your boyfriend standing in the doorway.

Your body was warm all over. The fact that you had gotten caught, but also breaking his rules? You felt shame creep up your neck. The toy was still inside of you fully, cunt dripping wet as you looked at the smirk on Matty’s face. He walked over towards the bed, shaking his head the whole time.

“What’s this, princess? Didn’t listen to your Doctor’s orders?” He mused, knee leaning on the bed as he rubbed your bare thigh with one hand. He trailed one finger from your leg, scratching his fingernail over your abdomen as he brought it down to your other thigh. You twitched slightly and he chuckled.

You whined as Matty practically drank you in with his eyes. His hand coming up to bunch his old band tee between his fist. “N-no, m’sorry, Doctor. But you left me. You left me, and I’ve been so needy all day.” You felt childish, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. The faux pout you received back from Matty only made more arousal pour out of you.

Matty ignored your words, gazing at you like a predator. “Use this often when I’m gone, baby?” He pointed at the you, gesturing as if he was disgusted at the thought of you using it alone. “Only cock you should be taking is mine.” His tone was full of condescension and it made you dizzy. You clenched involuntarily. His eyes followed the movement, looking between your legs.

“Please, Doctor. I’m sorry. I want you so bad.” You begged for him, lashes fluttering as you looked up and tears filled your lash line. “Need you inside of me, it’s not the same. Want you to fill me up.” And maybe you were laying it on thick, but it was all the truth. You’ve been so needy for him all day.

“S’a shame, bunny.” He laughs at your reaction to the word, rolling your hips into the air. “You couldn’t listen to me. Think you deserve to get fucked with a real cock? That’s only for good girls, not whores like you.” He traced the outline of your panties that were pulled aside, lingering for a moment. Tapping the base of the dildo inside of you, he stretched the band of your elastic and let it snap back against your skin.

You groaned, feet planted on the bed as you raised your hips up. He circled your clit, pinching it lightly and watching the shock run throughout your body. “I- I am good, Matty. Please, I wasn’t gonna cum without you.” You whimper as Matty slaps the toy again, then grabbing the base and beginning to move it in and out of you.

Matty scoffs at your words. “You weren’t going to, or you just couldn’t?” He says with a definite tone, pulling the dildo fully out of you. He ran the silicone toy through your slick, then tapped it on your clit three times. You dig your nails into the sheets, trying to not move. “Wanna see you stuff yourself with it, since y’were so eager.” Matty takes his hands off your body completely, moving to the tent in his pants.

You could see that he was straining against his work pants, cock begging to be released from the confines of the fabric. You could imagine how it looked, all flushed and pretty, leaking precum for you. Matty palmed himself over the material, letting his hips buck up. He squeezed his very visible length. You swore your mouth watered.

Your hand went to the toy, body begging for some type of friction. You fucked yourself with it, getting lost in the way Matty looked as he rubbed himself over his pants. It felt good, but it wasn’t him. You would never be able to cum like this. “Doctor Healy, please. I need you so bad, you’re the only one who can make me feel like this. Nothing else.” You pleaded with him, hoping he’d show some mercy. Maybe you were wrong earlier, maybe Matty could stand to punish you.

As if he read your mind, Matty just smirked at you. He was almost breathless as he shook his head. “You couldn’t be a good girl, my good girl, and wait. Now you have to be satisfied with a plastic dick, princess.” His grin made you infuriated, skin heating up. You moved your hand between your legs faster, closing your eyes. You felt a slap on your thigh, your skin stinging from the impact. Your eyes snapped open. “Look at me. You were thinking of me, right? Well, now I’m in front of you. Don’t be selfish, bunny.” He spit his words at you meanly, the smirk on his face making you lightheaded.

You thought you could cry. You kept a steady rhythm, but you just couldn’t hit the right spots. “Please, Doctor. Need your help, can’t do it by myself. Don’t wanna think.” You jutted your bottom lip out, hand slowing down as Matty sat up straighter. He stopped palming himself, leaning closer to you. His hands trailed up your thighs, meeting between them where your hands were.

He took over, how moving the toy inside of you with more fervor than before. His other hand came to swipe at your clit, the position had you moaning gutturally. The lewd noises that emitted as he fucked you were enough to make you embarrassed. Of course, Matty had something to say. “Little slut can’t even touch herself properly? Guess I’ll have to teach her.” He moved the dildo at a particular angle that had you screaming out.

“Oh my God, Matty! Right there- Please, I’m gonna cum.” You barely got through your sentence before three of Matty’s fingers were on your clit. They rubbed the nerves harshly, determined to get you to your climax. Your whole body shuddered as you came, slurring out a mix of his honorific and his name. Falling from your lips like a prayer. Matty fucked you through your orgasm with the toy, pulling it out of you when he saw you had come down from you high. You felt Matty’s tongue come to lap at your clit, flattening it against your juices. Your hands immediately came to tug at his hair from overstimulation.

He leaned up, pulling you in for a bruising kiss. His hands were on either side of your jaw as he slipped his tongue in your mouth. He swallowed your moans, and you could taste yourself on his tongue. “Don’t we taste good together, princess?” You nodded obediently at him, and you saw the glimmer of mischief in his eye. “Wanna taste yourself again?” He asked nonchalantly, bringing the dildo that had just been inside of you to your lips. You opened your mouth eagerly. Lips wide and tongue flat, Matty shoved the toy inside your mouth. You moaned around the object, the taste of your own juices coating on your tongue. You opened your mouth and swirled your tongue along the tip for show, watching as Matty’s eyes darkened and jaw clenched. “Don’t be a fuckin’ tease.” He pushed the toy aside, shoving your jaw away.

His hand wrapped lightly around your throat, and he brought three fingers down to your entrance. You were already so fucked out, and you knew he wasn’t stopping anytime soon. Matty’s moved his hand and pushed your (his) shirt up over your chest. He pinched and played with your exposed nipples, sucking on them until they were completely hard. He blew on your sensitive buds, reveling in the way you squirmed from the cold air.

He pushed two fingers into your cunt easily, already being so wet and open for him. You gasped, clenching your thighs as me moved his digits rapidly. “Tight little cunt, even after I stretched you out like that. Practically fucked you open.” He shook his head, spitting on your pussy. “Can’t wait to fuck you dumb, princess.” He added another finger, stretching you out even more. “Perfect little cock sleeve for me. M’glad you know your place.” Matty spoke blissfully, almost more lost in it than you.

“P-please, Doctor. Need you inside of me. Want you to fuck me and fill me up.” You babbled and nodded your head, trying to chase another high as Matty’s fingers never ceased their relentless pace. You didn’t even realize what you said, but you realized how he slightly faltered. Rhythm stopping for a beat, breath hitching. His hand moved to your stomach, pressing down.

“Yeah, princess? Want me to put a baby in there? You want everyone to know you belong to me, that your doctor got you pregnant?” He snickered, removing his hand from your pussy. He took his fingers up to his mouth, sucking off any remnants of you.

Matty stood up to unzip his pants, finally feeling relief on his hard cock. He unbuttoned his top, shrugging it off to the floor. You got lost in his tattoos, how his muscular arms bulged every time he moved. You knew your mouth was agape, and you were just feeding his ego even more. But how could you not? Especially when he steps out of his pants, pulling his briefs down. His hard cock almost slapped against his abdomen, the tip an angry red color. He was leaking pre cum, and he stroked himself twice as he squeezed his length in his fist. “Open your legs for me.”

You put your legs up on the bed, opening them as wide as your body allowed. Your panties that had been pulled to the side were now fully discarded of, as he roughly pulled them off your body. Muttering something of how he ‘wasn’t gonna let anything get in the way.’ He lined himself up with your entrance, but didn’t push himself inside of you. You took that as your window to beg for him.

“Doctor- Matty, please. I need you inside of me so bad. Just wanna feel your cock inside my cunt, it’s all I need. Wanna feel you cum inside of me.” You whined out, your rambling coming to an end as he pushed inside of you without warning. Matty made you take him to the hilt, burying himself inside of your warm cunt. Your slick pouring out around him.

Matty pounded into you, hand finding home on your neck again. His hips slapped against yours, combining with your wetness and filling the room with filthy sounds. Both you and Matty’s moans filling the empty spaces. “Cunts clinging to me, just sucking me right in. Can tell she wants me to cum inside of her.” Matty stopped his rhythm for a moment just to slap your clit. “Tell me ‘thank you’.” He said smugly.

The way he talked about your pussy made you clench around him in embarrassment, face heating up. He tightened his grip on your throat, squeezing the sides. You felt dizzy in the best way possible.

“W-why should I? You haven’t even finished with me yet.” Your smirk and bratty attitude didn’t last for long, he lightly slapped you across the face. Just enough for it to sting. Your body felt like it was buzzing, and your hole clenched around him.

“Messy girl.” He tsked, hips stuttering. He pulled his cock out of you. Making you whine in protest. “Shouldn’t even fill you up, bad girls don’t deserve my cum.” You know he’s bluffing, but your eyes go wide in fear. He wouldn’t leave you high and dry.

“N-no! Matty, m’sorry. Please, Doctor. You know I need it.” You folded immediately. Your body was restless from the lack of contact know, the only thigh touching you were his hands ghosting up your sides.

He ignored your pleas. "You know, bunny," You moan out as Matty speaks, running the tip of his cock through your soaking folds, pulling back when you try to arch into him. "Best time to try and knock you up is right now, when you're ovulating." Whines fall from your lips helplessly, pleasure being robbed from you as he keeps pulling away from your cunt. Of course he remembers the cycles of your body. "Gotta make sure it takes. Can't have you wasting my cum, right?" He chuckles at your reaction, his thumb pressing down on your clit as he brings his cock to your entrance again.

You feel full again as he presses into you, and your body felt like it was on fire. You nodded along to everything he said, easily obeying him. You needed to cum, and you needed his cum, too. “God, Matty. I’m close, please.”

“Hold it.” He replies, rubbing hard and firm circles on your button. “Tight hole is creaming around me. Little bunny, should get you a collar. Tie you down and keep this pussy stuffed full all day.” You groaned out, no longer being able to string a coherent sentence together. All you could do was shake your head. Matty chuckled. “Yeah, bunny? Like that idea? Maybe we should get you a tail, too.” Your senses were on overdrive. Matty really was fucking you dumb. And he almost seemed pussy drunk himself.

“Come on, princess. Cum around my cock, let me feel you.” He spit on his fingers, bringing them down to your clit, letting it drip down to where you two were connected. It sent you over the edge, coming for the second time that night. Your eyes rolled back in your head, throat already sore from how you were screaming his name and title. You felt Matty’s dick twitch inside of you, his steady pace faltering.

“Fuck- gonna fill this cunt up.” He groaned out in a raspy voice, and you felt the warm liquid painting your insides as his chest heaved. You moaned at the feeling, loving how he felt inside of you. You could see beads of sweat on Matty’s forehead when you opened your eyes, and a blissful smile crossed your face. You moved the hair from his forehead, and he smiled back at you.

When Matty pulled out, you winced from the empty feeling. He watched as his cum started to leak out of you, reaching up by your head to grab a pillow from the top of the bed. He positioned it under your hips, scooping up the cum that had already dripped out and pushing it back inside of you. He bumped your clit as he did so, enjoying the way you jolted. He let his fingers slip inside of you again, hooking them as he found that spot that made you go crazy. You felt tears prick your eyes. Matty poured in faux sympathy. “Oh- I know, baby. I know. S’that my spot? Just know this little cunt too well.” He curled his fingers inside of you again, leaving them now to act as a sort of plug. You giggled, slapping his shoulder. “Matty!”

“What? M’gonna make sure you get pregnant.” You could barely see the brown in his eyes, pupils completely blown out. He smiled, leaning in to kiss the top of your forehead. “Wanna see you all round and full of me. Even if that means fucking you every day this week, and again tonight.” And from his tone of voice alone, you knew Matty was deadly serious.

[forcryingoutlloud]

happy birthday bby girl 🫶

you’re so old!!! <3

[forcryingoutlloud]

lover, leaver - matty healy

this is part one of two of lover, leaver (taker, believer) <3

you treat me badly, i love you madly, you've really got a hold on me.

you are the owner of a crystal store that just so happens to share a wall with the bane of your existence, matty healy, the owner of 102 tattoo. you both swear that you despise each other despite the fact that the two of you always seem to feel weak in the knees when the other is around. maybe being forced to share a wall with the tattoo artist was karma coming back for vengeance or maybe the universe has a bigger plan for you both than either of you realize.

after all, fate has a twisted sense of humor.

minors do not interact!

tags: 18+ (no smut in this part but there will be in part two), sexual tension, enemies to lovers, slow burn, major slow burn, very brief violence, miscommunication, matty is a major asshole in this but i love him still, jealousy, angst, resisting feelings, rollercoaster of emotions lol

38442 words

You had always trusted that the universe had a plan.

A plan that you had never doubted, not even once. That is, until the universe took your world and flipped it completely upside down.

You remember the day vividly, the day that you met him for the first time.

You were walking down the sidewalk, sipping on the iced coffee in your hand and humming along aimlessly to a song that had been stuck in your head ever since you woke up, on your way to open up your crystal store for the day. It was a Thursday, the middle of May, not a cloud in the sky. The perfect weather helped mask the underlying sadness that had been holding a pit in your stomach ever since the previous owner of the building next to yours, Oscar, had shut down his ice cream shop and moved across the country. You had grown to become very friendly with the older gentleman and were sad to see him go but wished him well on his voyage, you just hated change. You hated anything that shook up your normal day to day routine and after months of Oscar’s absence, you had finally started to get used to your new routine without him - just in time for someone new to swoop in and fuck it up again and boy, were you unprepared for the storm he’d bring with him.

You heard the sound of a hammer banging against wood as you walked down the sidewalk and past the vacant building next to your own shop, hearing him before you actually saw him, almost running into the ladder that supported him as your nose was too busy buried in your phone to even notice it - so used to having the corner of the strip of stores to yourself that seeing someone else outside of the building next to yours shocked you. You take a sip of your coffee, eyes following the height of the ladder, taking in the stretch of black boots, black denim and a black shirt until your eyes land on the back of the stranger's head - his hair as dark as his clothes, both sides of his head shaved yet grown out slightly and leaving a thick strip of hair down the middle, pushed back and styled in a way that seemed so effortless yet so put together. 

Your eyes followed the stretch of his tattooed arms over his head, holding a hammer in one hand that banged a nail into the banner that his other hand supported, a mumbled curse catching in the wind when he hit the hammer against his thumb instead of the nail. Your curiosity got the better of you, taking your eyes away from him in favor of looking up at the banner he was trying to hang, tilting your head to the side as you read the medieval font printed on the vinyl - 102 Tattoo. 

You squinted at the sign, “A tattoo shop?” You mumble to yourself, taking another sip of your coffee before finally making your presence known, speaking louder now so he could hear you from his place up on the ladder. “Hey, do you know anything about the person moving in here?”

The boy on the ladder jumps slightly at the sound of someone speaking to him, missing the nail with the hammer yet again and striking his thumb. “Fuck me.” He hisses, bringing his thumb up to his mouth to soothe the ache. You wince at the sight, feeling guilty for being the cause of his pain. The boy takes his hand out of his mouth, shaking the remainder of the pain off before continuing to hang up the banner that advertises the new business moving in next door. He hasn’t turned around to look at you, focusing on the task at hand, holding the end of a nail between his teeth as he straightened up the vinyl and responded. “You’re looking at him.”

And oh, was he an upgrade from Oscar. You loved Oscar, of course, but he was a much older man - someone you viewed as more of a grandfather figure than anything. You suddenly didn’t miss Oscar’s presence at all now that you had him in front of you. He was much closer to your own age, only off by a few years if anything, with arms scattered in tattoos you yearned to know the meaning of and hands that would feel so good against - 

“Oh!” You exclaim, gripping your iced coffee in your hand a little tighter at the sound of his voice. “I didn’t realize someone had bought the place.”

The boy finally nails the one corner of the banner to the post, huffing in frustration when he realized it wasn’t even. “Yeah, I just got the keys yesterday.” He comments, offhanded and uninterested, looking down at the ladder that supported him. “Sorry if I’m in your way, I just-” His head turned over his shoulder to finally look at you and oh.

The captivation you felt by the back of his head was no match for what you felt seeing his face for the first time, dark eyes growing wider as they locked with your own, his pink, plump lips parted slightly at the sight of you, his long legs stumbling against the steps of the ladder, his tattooed arms coming out to catch himself so he didn’t fall right off of it. 

Your arms came out instinctively, ready to catch the stranger even though realistically - if he had come tumbling down, he would take you with him. Your eyes wide as you watched him recover on top of the ladder, his face paler than before, holding his chest in what you could only assume was an attempt to slow his heart rate down, surely pounding at his near tumble. “Oh my god, are you okay?” 

The boy with dark hair cleared his throat, still holding his chest, dark eyes searching your face. “Yeah, yup, totally fine.” Forcing a smile as he took a deep breath through his nose. You smiled up at him with the faintest scrunch of your eyebrows, immediately intrigued by him. The smile on his face turned into a real one accompanied by the faintest, palest shade of pink as he shook his head softly before starting to descend down the ladder.

You took another sip of your coffee as the strangers' boot clad feet made contact with the pavement of the sidewalk, turning to stand in front of you, revealing the front of his black shirt, some band that you haven't heard of before but appreciated the design printed on. You felt a little lightheaded having him so close now, blaming it on the fact that the ice coffee in your hand was the only thing on your stomach and not the fact that you could smell the cigarette he had burned god knows how long ago now, the fact that you could see his features much clearer now that he wasn’t so high up on the ladder, the fact that with him this close you couldn’t help but realize - he’s cute. 

You wondered if his mind was whirling with the same thoughts, could only assume so when he locked eyes with your own and fought off a smile, clearing his throat once more before holding his hand out for you to shake. “Uh- Hi. I’m Matty.” You accepted the hand shake, trying not to dwell on the fact that it lingered for a beat too long. “I just bought the place not too long ago, as soon as I saw the listing for it, I put an offer down. I didn’t even have a business name yet.” The stranger, Matty, explained through a soft laugh, even though you hadn’t asked. “Some older guy used to own it, I hear?”

You smiled at the mention of your old friend. “Yeah, Oscar, he was really nice.” Matty nodded along, stuffing a hand in the front pocket of his jeans as you shook your head through a giggle. “You didn’t even have a business name?” Matty smiles, shrugging. “So you’re quite impulsive then I assume. You must be an Aries, then?”

Matty’s dark eyes instantly roll, a scoff tumbling from his pretty, pink lips. “Oh, god.”

You smile at his antics, squinting your eyes slightly. “What?”

“Please don’t tell me you’re one of those astrology girls.” Matty groans. “I was just starting to like you.”

Your mouth drops open in faux offense, a sight that Matty shakes his head at. “What’s wrong with astrology girls?”

“Nothing.” Matty shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest with a sigh. “It’s just all a load of shit, though, isn’t it?” Almost as if it was on cue, his dark eyes fall to the jewelry hanging from your neck, growing wider at the sight. “Sorry, I just meant that like-” Stumbling through words to try and save himself yet again. “I just don’t really believe in all of that-” Matty cut himself off again, trying to search for the right words, moving his hands around as he spoke. “Hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo shit.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head through a smile, your tone of voice full of amusement. “Oh, you’re going to hate sharing a wall with me.” 

Matty’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not connecting the dots himself. You nod your head in the direction of your store next door, his head immediately turning around to read the sign above the front door - much more official than his own. Which, it should be, you had been established there for years now.

“Metaphysical store?” Matty mumbled through a stretched neck, turning it back straight to face you now. “What’s that mean?”

You giggle, shrugging. “Oh, you know, just your classic-” Clearing your throat to put on a thick accent in a poor attempt to mock his own, moving your hands around just as he did before. “Hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo, load of shit.” You laugh at the shocked look on his face, the way his face turned as pale as it did up on the ladder, waving softly with a smile. “Hi, neighbor.”

Matty’s cheeks flush pink, a beautiful color that you’d like to store away forever in a bottle, bringing his arm around to the back of his head and smiling awkwardly. “Well, I’ve just properly ruined this then, haven’t I?” You laugh, bringing your forgotten iced coffee up to your mouth to take a sip. “Let’s start over, I think we should start over.” He nods, clearing his throat and shaking his arms in a way that had you laughing over your bitten straw between your teeth as you watched him reset, shooting you a bright smile as he offered his hand back out to you. “Hi, I’m Matty.”

You smile, taking his hand in a shake for the second time that day, allowing it to linger for a beat too long again. You return the sentiment, telling him your name this time, realizing that you hadn’t introduced yourself yet. “Right, so I’m your new neighbor, uh - fun fact about me is that I’m an Aries.” You laugh, biting down on your straw harder to try and stop your smile from breaking your face. “Super cool, I know, I love astrology.”

You snort, shaking your head, pulling the bitten straw out of your mouth. “You’re an idiot.”

“What?” Matty smiles. “I love space.” 

“That’s astronomy.” You correct through a soft giggle, snorting at the way his face drops. 

“Right.” He nods, shrugging with an easy smile. “Well, I love both.” You shake your head softly, watching as Matty glances back at your store again, peeping at your inventory through the glass windows. “So, what? You have like shit to make potions and spells in there?”

You snort at his choice of words, shrugging and nodding because technically he wasn’t wrong. “Yeah, kinda.” 

“No, shit!” Matty gasps, glancing back at the store again, turning back to stare at you in bewilderment. “Really? Like witches?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, bringing two of your fingers up to your temples and staring at him with wider eyes, the condensation from your cup of iced coffee dripping down your wrist. “Don’t get on my bad side, I might hex you.”

Matty gulps, his eyebrows furrowing and cocking in concern. “Hex?” Smiling softly when you dropped your act and started to make your way past him, stomach fluttering at the way his eyes followed you the entire way, turning his body when he couldn’t turn his head any more. “Should I void my lease?”

“You’re an idiot.” You giggle, putting your key into the lock of the door to your store, turning it and opening the glass, the sound of chimes filling the empty space as you turned your head to look at Matty over your shoulder. “You wanna come inside and see for yourself?” Opening the door a little wider and raising your eyebrow to tease him. “Or are you too scared you’ll be sacrificed?”

Matty’s pink lips twitch up into a smile, shaking his head softly, but taking a step forward regardless. You waited for him at the door, pushing it open further when he got close, brain clouding up from the closeness once more as his shoulder brushed up against your own when Matty paused in the door frame to look at you. “I’m too pretty to be sacrificed.”

You laugh through a scoff. “Oh, please.” You push him into your store the rest of the way, reaching out to turn the big light on as the smell of his cigarette mixed cologne swirled with the lingering smell of incense in your store. It was intoxicating. 

You walk over to your front counter, throwing your purse and nearly empty cup of coffee down onto the orange surface, glancing over at Matty who lingered in the doorway, glancing around the space yet not taking any initiative to walk around. You smile to yourself, the sight of him standing in your store was a contrast you hadn't seen before, almost a complete polar opposite. “You can walk around, you know? Feel free to explore.” You called out to him, hopping on top of the counter and watching him with a teasing smile. “I promise nothing is going to jump out and bite you.”

Matty smiled in a way that told you he had a joke on the tip of his tongue, but he decided against sharing it in favor of taking a few steps forward, careful not to knock against anything as he explored your store. “So, where are the potions?”

You snort, bringing your legs up to the counter to cross underneath yourself. “I don’t actually have potions, that’s not how it works.” Shaking your head at the way Matty’s shoulders slumped. “But there are some supplies in here to do a spell or two if you’re feeling frisky.”

Matty smirked, hesitating before picking up a stone out of a bucket labeled Amethyst. “You’ve got some cool looking rocks.”

“They’re not rocks.” You sigh, heart warming at the sight of him picking up a different stone out of a bucket labeled Carnelian. “They’re crystals.”

Matty waved a hand, picking up a different Carnelian tumble out of the bucket, mesmerized by the different pattern of this one. “It’s all the same, innit?”

“No.” You sigh, hopping off the counter and making your way back towards the corner of the store. “Come over here, I think you’ll like these.”

Matty was quick to place the tumble rolling in his palm back in the bucket carefully, your stomach flipped at how gentle he handled everything, before making his way over to stand next to you - his shoulder brushing up against your own as he stood close enough that the heat from his body radiated against your own. You clear your throat as you hold out a hand towards the display case filled with various pieces of jewelry made from crystals - rings, necklaces, bracelets. 

"You can make jewelry out of these rocks?" Matty's eyes lit up as he crouched down in front of the glass case, 

“Crystals.” You corrected with a playful roll of your eyes. "You can." You nod, crouching down next to him and smiling softly when his knee knocks against your own. "It's good to carry crystals around with you and it's easier to just wear them as jewelry rather than carrying them in your pocket." "Harder to lose too." Matty mumbled, tilting his head to the side, squinting his eyes and pointing to a ring behind the glass. "What's that one? It's reflecting in the light. Changing colors." You had to pull your mind from swimming in his cologne and force your eyes away from the way his jaw moved when he spoke to follow where his finger was pointing, his finger accented with chipped black nail polish pressed against the glass in front of a ring. 

The ring had a thick silver band, the crystal carved to fit the band sitting beautifully against the metal. "That's Tiger's eye! It's good for confidence." You knock your knee against his own this time, adding in a tease. “Not that you need any help with that.”

Matty hums through a smile. 

"Would you like to see it out of the case?" You asked, already moving to stand up from your crouched position beside him, finding the key to the case on your key ring and opening the glass display before Matty had the opportunity to answer.

You tried not to let Matty's eyes set you on fire from the heat of his gaze as you bent over to pull the ring from its holder, smiling softly at the dark haired boy as you handed him the ring he had his eyes on. "You can put it on if you’d like, my intuition tells me it'll be a perfect fit."

Matty smiled softly, "Your intuition, huh?" Glancing up at you, still crouched on the floor, before turning his attention back to the ring and sliding it on his right ring finger. "Well, I'll be damned."

You watched as the ring slid smoothly onto his finger, almost as if the ring had been made just for him, smiling down at him. "Just as I thought, a perfect fit."

"Yeah," Matty smiled, admiring the ring on his finger before shifting his gaze up at you and smiling brighter, the faintest shade of pink on his cheeks. "Kinda like fate." You weren't quite sure why you felt breathless when you replied, "Yeah, like fate." The months passed by and his makeshift banner outside had turned into an official neon one, signifying that he was here to stay, and the sweet boy you had met that first day had slowly turned sour with each passing week. 

You often thought about how badly you wished every other interaction the two of you shared could be as wonderful as your first one. The first day you met Matty, he was so kind. He hung on to your every word and even wanted a tour of your store, always so polite and genuinely curious when he'd ask for the properties of certain crystals or what certain objects were used for. But all good things must come to an end and unfortunately for you the kind Matty you had met the day he moved in only lasted a few weeks. Soon came the loud music, the cigarette butts scattered everywhere alongside the sidewalk and the blatant disrespect for you and your business.

—

"Oh my god."  You speak through a clenched jaw, emphasizing each word, exasperated and annoyed. You hold yourself steady with your hands on the orange counter in front of you, hanging your head between your shoulders and trying to regain your composure. The bass from the muffled music next door rattled some of the larger chunks of Quartz sitting on display on shelves that were screwed to the wall you shared with the bane of your existence.

"He's doing this on purpose, he has to be." You mumbled, gripping the counter tighter, an action that didn't go unnoticed by your best friend who was watching you intently, Carmen always popped in and out of the store sporadically throughout the week just to come see you. "He doesn't even have a client that he’s tattooing right now, he’s just doing this to piss me off."

"And how do you know that he doesn't have a client right now?" Carmen spoke casually, always trying to be the voice of reason that mended you and Matty together, you couldn’t help but think she had ulterior motives in doing so. Carmen shot an awkward smile back when you glared at her in return. "Okay, so maybe he's doing it to piss you off." She shrugged, rolling around some stray tumbles in her palms. "If you don’t let him know that it pisses you off, maybe he'll stop.” You rolled your eyes at the suggestion, Carmen sighed. “Or you could ask nicely and maybe he'll throw you a bone."

"Yeah." You scoffed, shutting your eyes tightly when the music only seemed to grow impossibly louder, holding your fingers up to your temples to massage away some of the tension. "You know, for some reason, I don't believe that." 

You spoke sarcastically, rubbing at your temples harder. As if Matty Healy would ever be one to be understanding, much less throw you a bone. Matty Healy and speaking nicely just didn't mix. "But maybe if I'm mean enough."

"Isn't being mean like totally contradicting everything you and your business stand for?" Carmen replied with furrowed eyebrows, fixing you with a pointed look. "You don't want to get bad karma over a silly boy." "He's not a silly boy," You tried to speak calmly over the music that seemed to be blaring directly into your ear, but as the bass reverberated from the soles of your shoes up to vibrate your skull, you snapped. "He's an insufferable, conceited, prick and I'm going over there to talk to him."

Your feet were moving before you could even stop them, ignoring Carmen's protest about how it wasn't a good idea as you swung the glass door to your business open and seamlessly opened the one next door, walking into 102 Tattoo as if you owned the place. 

You tried not to hurl from the feeling of the bass in your chest, the feeling of nausea only increasing at the sight of the dark haired man leaned against the front counter before you with a cigarette hanging from his smirk spread lips.

"Well, hey Jewels, what a lovely surprise." Matty spoke with faux sincerity, drawing out the nickname he'd given you months ago, narrowing his dark eyes slightly as he pulled the cigarette from his lips in favor of blowing the smoke out in your direction, the edges of smoke barreling towards your nose and igniting the flames under your skin. "Just the girl I wanted to see." Jewels. You were sure Matty thought he was clever with the nickname, playing off of the fact that you owned a crystal store and you might have actually thought the nickname was cute if it wasn't falling from the tattooed boy's lips. But since it was, you knew the nickname had a condescending edge to it. "Ironic because you're the last person I wanted to see." Rolling your eyes when Matty huffed out a breath of smoke from the side of his mouth. "Ouch." Matty pulled the cigarette from his mouth with a pout, throwing the remainder on the concrete floor of his shop and stomping it out with his foot, rolling his own eyes at the look of disgust that graced your face at the action. "Not much of a ray of sunshine on this Tuesday afternoon, are we, Jewels?" "Never with you." You matched his condescending tone, tilting  your head to the side with a bright, fake smile.

"Look, I'm not here to fight." You spoke with a slightly kinder tone, raising your hands in defense and fighting the urge to roll your eyes again when Matty fixed you with a raised eyebrow. "I'm here to reason." "You?" Matty scoffed, crossed one ankle over the other as he leaned back on the front counter on his elbows, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side and staring at you as if you had grown two heads. "Reasonable?" "Oh, fuck off." You laughed bitterly through a scoff. "Look, can you just turn the music down, please? I'm getting a really bad headache and it's not even close to closing time. I just really can't handle it today." You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling rather insecure with his dark eyes almost pinning you to your spot in his shop, feeling exposed in the action of asking him for a favor. "Please?" "I could." Matty shrugged, turning his head to the side to glance at one of the speakers that hung from the wall, like he was contemplating the thought. You couldn't help but notice the speaker was conveniently hanging on the wall shared with your own shop. You decided to focus on your anger at his choice of placement instead of focusing on how his neck flexed when it turned to the side like this, while he may be the bane of your existence, that didn’t mean that he was unattractive. Matty turned his attention back to you, scrunching his eyebrows as he spoke. "But what good does that do me?" You sighed, it was always like this with him, he was so self absorbed that he couldn't even do something nice for someone without asking for something in return.

"Good karma for being nice." Matty threw his head back in laughter, causing the eye roll you've been holding in to finally overcome you, huffing from your nose as you squeezed your arms around yourself tighter. You clench your jaw, basking in his laughter for a beat before speaking through it. "What do you want?" "Not good fucking karma, that's for sure." Matty scoffed, giggling to himself and shaking his head slightly. “As if.” You huff, tapping your foot impatiently against the concrete floors of his tattoo shop. "Quickly, please, my head is about to explode." Your voice grew in annoyance the longer the music rattled your brain. “Let’s make a deal.” Matty’s dark eyes scanned the length of your body, slow and intimidating, burning against your skin in a way that only ignited the fire underneath your skin. You shift on your feet beneath his gaze, tightening your arms around yourself and clearing your throat. After what felt like hours but in reality was probably only a minute, Matty finally declared. "The ring." "What?" Confusion filled your tone as you tried to wrack your brain as to what ring the boy could possibly be talking about. "You know, the brown and gold one I liked the first time I went in your store." Matty spoke casually, trying to sound nonchalant, his words ran through you like a tidal wave. Matty had remembered that day? 

The memory of your knees knocking together with flushed cheeks as you looked at the display case of jewelry seemed like such a distant memory now, as if you were watching two completely different people as it ran through your mind, wondering how the hell the two of you went from that to this.

"You want the Tiger's eye ring?" You spoke in disbelief.  "Out of all the things you could ask for?" You couldn't help but squint your eyes at the boy when he shrugged and nodded his head, scoffing. "Why?"

You’d always wondered why Matty didn't get the ring that day, but you were even more curious as to why Matty would want the ring now. 

Something unrecognizable flashed in Matty's eyes at your question, causing the tattoo covered boy to cough and adjust himself from his spot leaned against the counter. "I want the ring." He answered simply and it was good enough for you, ready to leave 102 Tattoo and head back to your own shop. You didn't really care to hear his reasoning as long as it got your days back to the peace and quiet that they'd been filled with for years prior to him. Once again, your feet were carrying you out of the shop before you could even think, swinging the door to your own open, ignoring the questions from Carmen as you were on a one track mind to the display case for the ring. Once you secured the piece of jewelry you were quick to return to 102 Tattoo. Entering the tattoo shop for the second time today, you were met with surprised eyes from the dark haired boy, a small smile fighting on his face. "I thought you were storming off.” Matty spoke, shifting on his feet as you made your way to stand in front of him. “I guess I'm just used to you doing that."

"Yeah, yeah, here." You rolled your eyes shoving the beautiful ring into Matty's hand, his eyebrows shooting up from the silver ring being placed in his hands. "Wait, actually?" His dark eyes glued to the ring in his hands, that unrecognizable emotion flashing in his eyes once more. "Jewels-" "Save it." Your hand was up signaling for him to stop talking before he could even finish the full nickname. "You got your end of the deal, now give me mine." Matty was too wrapped up in sliding his new ring on his finger to even listen to you, only paying attention when you huffed loudly. "Huh?" Your hand was up on your forehead out of frustration before you could even stop it. "The music, Matty, turn down the music. That's the whole reason I'm here." Matty nodded slowly, but you could tell your words were only half registering in his brain as he tilted his finger around to watch the crystal shift in the light. "Matty." "What?" Matty snapped, huffing as he dropped his arm back down to his side, glaring at your through scrunched eyebrows. "Why are you still here?" "Oh my god." You mumbled, closing your eyes and counting to ten to calm your own nerves. "Okay, I'm leaving, but you'll turn the music down, yeah? Truce?" You held your hand out for him to shake, the insecure feeling creeping back up when Matty didn't accept your offer as laughter bubbled out of him, pushing himself off the counter and walking over towards you. His eyes had you pinned to your spot as he stood so close to you that you could feel the tips of his shoes touching your own, the smell of his cologne made you feel just as dizzy as it did the day you first met him.

You held your breath as Matty brought his hand that was now the home to his new ring up to the end of your hair, twirling the strands between his fingers as he tilted his head to the side with a small smile. The dark haired, tattooed boy pushed your hair to one side, leaning in impossibly close. The feeling of his breath hitting your neck was almost enough to make you forget all the issues the two of you shared over the past few months, ready to fold in the middle of 102 Tattoo. Almost. But as soon as Matty's lips were brought up to your ear, all the reasons why you hated the boy came rushing back to you. "No."

—

One of the perks of owning your own business meant you could create your own hours and every morning that you woke up to the sound of your alarm blaring before the sun had even fully had a chance to rise, you cursed yourself for the hours you had created. 

You had to remind yourself that as long as you got everything on your checklist done today, you could sleep in the extra hour the rest of the week - the checklist mainly just inventory. You had an indecisive relationship with this task, you loved to sit and admire all the new pieces that you received, most of it you had forgotten you'd even ordered. But you absolutely hated having to sort through and weigh every single piece to price it. It started off fun, but by the time the second hour of being hunched over on the floor looking at the same crystals roll around, it starts to become a little nauseating.

You knew to start your day off right you would need caffeine, as you always did. Part of your daily routine was making a stop by Vienna, the local coffee shop that conveniently was located just a few buildings down on the same strip where your own shop was located. It was perfect. You were so excited when the business moved in, you were never a big fan of Starbucks or the commute there.

The one downfall of this perfectly placed coffee shop with some of the most delicious drinks you'd ever tasted, was that you weren't the only person who took advantage of it being close to your business. The pretentious boy who you shared a wall with seemed to also need a coffee every morning, always around the same time as you did, making for several unpleasant encounters.

Matty always listened like a hawk when you ordered, almost praying that you would stutter or misspeak just so he could giggle and mumble something from behind you.

There was the time you accidentally ordered an iced caramel with coffee drizzle and the tattooed boy still hasn't let that go, mocking you with the reminder at any chance he could. Or the time where you had wandered off to the bathroom after placing your order and when you came out to retrieve it, you found no coffee on the counter and Matty was no longer around. You questioned the barista and he looked at you with furrowed brows, saying that your boyfriend had just picked it up for you, leaving you to purchase yet another overpriced drink now that Matty had stolen yours. It was safe to say that you never wandered off after ordering ever again. And let's not talk about the time Matty "tripped" and spilled his beverage all over your shoes on the way out. He swears it was an accident and maybe you would have believed him, considering the look on his face when it happened did genuinely seem apologetic, but it was the fact that there was nothing in the sidewalk for him to even trip over that made you question his honesty. Oh well, at least his coffee wasn't hot that day. 

You always knew the second he walked into Vienna, not only because the smell of his cologne filled the small room so quickly that it made your legs feel weak, but also because anytime he was around you always got this feeling in your gut. A feeling you had never been able to pinpoint, but one you only experienced when he was around.

"Fancy seeing you here, Jewels." You didn't even have to turn around to know that Matty had a smug look on his face. It was almost like clock work, every single morning he would end up behind you in line at the coffee shop and every single morning he would recite that same stupid, cheesy line that made your eyes roll. "Cat got your tongue this morning? Don't you know our morning routine includes you saying something snarky back to me? What's up?"

You huff. "We do not have a morning routine.” Instinctively crossing your arms over your chest but not turning around to face him. “I have my own routine, one that doesn't involve you."

"Ouch, Jewelsy." You heard Matty speak through yet another smirk, you knew without looking that he had a hand over his chest in faux offense. "You wound me."

You ignore him in favor of stepping forward into the now open space at the counter. You smile at Kian, the owner's son who normally runs the front, ignoring the scoff and mumbled "Here we go..." that came from Matty behind you. “Good morning, Kian."

The blonde boy smiled back, already grabbing a clear cup and a sharpie, ready to write down your usual order. "It is now." Kian smiled warmly, glancing at Matty over your shoulder when Matty huffed loudly. "The usual? Iced vanilla latte?" You couldn't help but turn around to shoot daggers at Matty when you heard him mocking "Iced vanilla latte?" from behind you, rolling your eyes when Matty just shrugged back in response. "Actually, I think I want to drink matcha today instead of coffee, it helps me have more energy and today I'm going to need it.” Just the thought of pending inventory had you tired already. “So, can I get an iced matcha latte with oat milk, please? The biggest one you have."

Kian nodded softly while writing against the clear cup in his hand. "Busy morning?"

"Always." You smiled despite Matty tapping his foot from behind you. "How much?"

"Oh, don't worry about it." Kian waved you off and might have even winked before walking your cup over to the side of the counter and reaching out to grab the matcha powder.

You didn't even have the chance to say thank you, a loud and obnoxious voice filling the space before you even could. "Oh, what? If I twirl my hair, I'll get my shit for free too then? That's how this works?"

You groan, turning around to face the tall man, having to take a step back to be able to look at his face rather than his chest. "Do you have to be so obnoxious all the time?"

"Do you have to be so inconsiderate all the time?" Matty repeated back in the same tone, narrowing his dark eyes filled with fire at you.

"How am I being inconsiderate?" You laughed through a scoff, staring at the man before you with scrunched eyebrows, conveying how confused you were by his claim. "I'm just ordering a drink."

"Oh, I'm just ordering a drink." Matty mocked in a high pitched tone, cocking his hip to one side and flicking his pretend hair over his shoulder. "Give me a break." Rolling his eyes as he went back to normal, crossing his tattoo covered arms over his chest. "Every time I come in here I have to listen to the two of you, I'm sick of it.” Spitting the words out and throwing a hand out in the air in annoyance. “Just go on a date already."

"You're ridiculous." You scoffed, turning around and internally cringing when you saw Kian standing there and staring at the two of you with a raised eyebrow, giving the blonde a soft smile. "I'm sorry about him."

Matty scoffed from behind you. "Don't apologize on behalf of me, I'm not sorry."

Kian chuckled, shaking his head slightly while handing you your drink, shrugging. Your eyes quickly discovered that Kian had written his phone number on the side of your cup. "No, he's right."

"Wait, what?" You and Matty spoke at the same time, your tone shocked while Matty's was filled with more annoyance, both of your faces pulled in confusion.

"He's right, we've been flirting for months.” Your heart was pounding, you could feel the heat radiating off of Matty’s body from behind you. “Or I have been, at least." Kian shrugged, looking more nervous than he previously had before. "What do you think?"

"I think that the two of you are making me late and honestly, a little nauseous." Matty was quick to interrupt, not giving you the chance to answer, his eyes matching the fire from his tongue. If you didn't know better you'd almost think that he sounded a little jealous, but you knew him well enough to know that couldn’t possibly be the case. "Don't you have things you need to be doing, Jewels?"

Despite how annoying Matty was being, how irritated he made you feel, you were sort of thankful that he had spoken up so you didn’t have to. And he was right. You did have things you needed to be doing, you didn't have time for this nor did you have the energy.

And truthfully, if you were being completely honest, you were fully aware of the fact that Kian had been flirting with you for months now. It's not that you didn't appreciate it, you just weren't all that interested. But he was someone you had to see every day, you didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Something Matty clearly had no problem with as he took a step around you in favor of standing next to you, his arm brushing against your own and setting your skin on fire. "Look, man, maybe she's just not that interested." Matty spoke smugly with a shrug, making you roll your eyes and grip your matcha a little tighter. "It's not that, I just-" You stuttered, glancing to Matty for help but only being met with a raised eyebrow. "I'm just- I have a really busy morning and I just need to get going." You felt like you were under a microscope with both Kian and Matty's eyes on you, you took a sip from your drink to ease the anxiety creeping in your stomach. Matty's faint chuckle filled the silence as you sipped. "Thank you for the drink, Kian. I'll see you around.” You nodded, stomach clenching at the look in Kian’s eyes, the guilt you felt had you adding a promise. “I'll call you."

You shot one last smile at Kian, one that dropped when you turned to leave and were met with Matty's ever so smug grin staring back at you. You and Matty both knew you were lying. Matty’s dark eyes ran over your body quickly before he stepped to the side, holding his arm out for you to walk past him. You left Vienna with a huff and a silent prayer that Matty's coffee would blow up in his face.

—

Hours later and you were knee deep in crystals and felt as though you were on the brink of insanity. Almost every inch of the open floor in your shop was covered by either boxes, bubble wrap or the crystals themselves. You had quickly become overwhelmed by the mass amount of work you had put on yourself for one day and were feeling lost on what to do or where to even begin.

You were three songs deep on Tame Impala's Currents album, staring at the mess before you and feeling discouraged by the amount of work, or lack thereof, in the amount of hours you had been sitting there and the list of albums you have listened to already. This always happened, you had a terrible habit of biting off far more than you could ever chew and overwhelming yourself to the point of almost throwing in the towel and closing up shop for good. You needed help, but you would never ask for it and you were definitely not keen on hiring employees. You liked being a one woman show and not having to deal with anyone but yourself, but it was days like this where you wished you had a team so you could have all hands on deck to lessen your workload.

By the time 'Yes I'm Changing' started playing, you had found the strength to grab a box that had yet to be opened, sliding it towards your spot on the floor where you were sitting criss crossed. You had just pushed the blade from your box cutter up when you faintly heard the chime of your front door opening over the sound of Kevin Parker singing, turning your head over your shoulder to glance at who was coming inside, expecting to see Carmen and clenching your jaw when you saw dark hair and tattoos strolling in instead. "You know your sign outside still says closed, right?" Matty spoke while pointing over his shoulder with his thumb, the glass door slowly closing behind him. "Not a very good way to get business."

"Yeah, because I'm closed." Your tone full of attitude, already having had more than enough of your daily dose of Matty, you didn't need any more time spent with him or your head might actually explode. "Obviously."

"Weird, I thought you were open on Mondays?" Matty questioned. "I guess that's a good decision on your part, though, I don't think they'd have much room to walk." He chuckled, looking around your shop that could only be described as an absolute train wreck. You couldn't help but feel embarrassed. "You should have this door locked if you're closed, you know. Anyone could come in. That’s not safe."

"I am open on Mondays, usually, I took the day off to catch up on inventory and restocking as you can see." You laughed weakly, feeling exhausted as you closed your box cutter and tossed it down on the floor, rubbing your hands over your face out of frustration. "I thought I had it locked, but clearly I don't.” Dropping your hands from your face and tilting your head at him. “What are you doing here?"

"Well," Matty hesitated, glancing around the room once more before his worried eyes landed on you, bringing his arm up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. "maybe now isn't the best time."

"It's never a good time for you to come in here." Your exhaustion made the comment come off far more rude than you intended for it to, grimacing when his face fell. "I'm sorry, I'm just feeling very overwhelmed right now and I'm sure it's no surprise to you that you being around does not help that feeling."

"So what I'm hearing is that I overwhelm you?" His voice matched the smugness that his face conveyed, laughing when you groaned and brought your hands up to your face once more. "I'm joking, obviously. Look, I don't want to be here any more than you want me to be, but I just-“ He cut himself off, making a face that conveyed that he hated even having to ask. “I need some help."

You spread your fingers out from in front of your eyes, squinting at the man standing before you with a sheepish smile on his face. "Help?” You repeat back, just to make sure you had heard him correctly, narrowing your eyes slightly when Matty nodded. “From me?"

"Well, it's more of a favor, I guess." Matty shrugged.

"A favor?" You repeat. "And why are you coming to me of all people for this favor?" "Look, can we just be civil for two seconds, please?" His voice grew a little annoyed, bringing his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I hate even having to ask you for help, so can you please just try and make this as painless as possible?"

"Fine." You sighed, pushing stray bubble wrap to the side so you would have the space to lay down on the floor, needing to rest your back from its hunched over position it had been in all day. You were too busy staring up at the ceiling to notice Matty's eyes scanning over your body as you made yourself comfortable against the bohemian styled rug in the middle of your shop, stretching your arms over your head and humming when a few bones cracked in relief from the movement. "What do you need?"

Matty cleared his throat before he spoke, shifting his weight between his feet. "My sisters birthday is coming up and she's into all of this-" Matty hesitated. "these rocks and manifesting and shit."

"They're not rocks, they're crystals." You interrupted from your place on the floor, moving your arm around to the side to search for your phone so you could pause the music playing through the speakers, making it easier to converse.

"Okay, she's into crystals and shit." Matty huffed, correcting himself, speaking softer now that there wasn't any music playing. "I need to get her a birthday gift, so."

"So?"

"So,” Matty drew out. “Will you help me pick her something out?" Dark eyes stared at you laying down on the floor in front of him, all his attention on the way the blue crystal pendant on your necklace rose on your chest when you breathed in deeply.

"Why would I do that?" You turn your head so that your eyes could be on him instead of the ceiling, missing the way Matty's eyes snapped up from your chest to your eyes when you looked his way. Matty tilted his head to the side, smiling with faux sweetness while he repeated the words you had said to him weeks ago when you had stormed into his tattoo shop and asked him to turn the music down. 

"Good karma?" It annoyed you that Matty was using your own words against you, but you couldn't help but laugh softly alongside the dark haired boy above you, shaking your head softly. "Look, I'll do something for you in return." "Oh!" Your tone full of sarcasm as you began to sit up, pulling your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around your calves. "You mean like how you turned your music down for me in return for the ring, right?"

Matty's hand was back behind his head, scratching awkwardly at his neck with a smile that matched. "Yeah, uh- I'm sorry about that. Dick move."

"Yeah." You nod, squinting your eyes ever so slightly, enjoying the sight of the panicked state he seemed to be in.

"I uh-" Matty glanced around the shop, looking like a lightbulb had just gone off in his head, dark eyes back on you as he shrugged with a small smile. "I could help!"

You squint your eyes further, diminishing his smile. "With what?"

"Well," Matty chuckled, gesturing to the current state of your shop. "you look like you got a pretty full plate at the moment, let me help you."

You stared at Matty for a beat, the silence in the store deafening. "Why would you help?"

"Okay, so I won't help." Matty scoffed with an attitude, shaking his head and starting to turn on his heel.

"No, wait, I'm sorry." You were quick to stand on your feet, grabbing his elbow to stop him from walking out the door, his skin uncomfortably hot considering it was cold in there - burning against your palm. "I'm trying to be civil, I swear. I just- I don't really understand why you're suddenly being so nice?"

"I'm not." Matty shrugged his elbow from your grasp in favor of crossing his arms over his chest, turning back to face you again. "I'm only being nice because I need something from you, not because I have a newfound likeness for you."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "Well, just making sure." holding your hand up to stop Matty from apologizing. "I'll help you, but only because the one time I met your sister she was an absolute angel. And to be honest, I don't think I'm going to be able to clear this up on my own."

"I forgot you met my sister." Matty laughed breathlessly, sounding relieved that you had agreed to help him. "She’s very fond of you, always asking about you when she calls me, it’s quite annoying.”

You narrow your eyes, heart thudding at the thought of him talking about you on the phone with his sister. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, clearing his throat before smirking, voice teasing. “She asks how you are and I tell her ‘annoying as ever.’ Though she never seems to take my side.”

Your head was thrown back in laughter at his confession, a warm feeling taking hold of Matty's stomach at the sound. “Your sister is a very smart girl, she knows better than to think that you would ever be innocent.” The sound of Matty chuckling brought you back down to earth. What was going on here? The two of you hadn't laughed around each other since the first few times you had met, it felt as if you had entered an alternate universe. You cleared your throat, crossing your arms over your chest and opening your mouth to speak again in a much more casual tone.

"Right, so um- like I said, I'll help.” You brought your pointer finger up in the air and pushed it into his chest, eyes falling to the Tiger's eye ring on his finger. "But you're paying this time."

It was Matty's turn to throw his head back in laughter, a wash of pink flushing his face at the faint embarrassment he felt by recalling how he had acted that day that he received the ring.

"Yes ma'am." Bringing his hand up to his forehead to salute you, smiling softly before turning his attention to look around the room, huffing at the sight of inventory everywhere. "Alright, Jewels, where do you want me?" —

It was surprising how you and Matty were able to stay in the same room together for so long and neither of you had killed the other yet. 

This was the longest the two of you had been around each other since that first day and it was sort of nice. The two of you worked in almost complete silence, having a good system of Matty cutting open the boxes and unwrapping the shipments before passing the various crystals over to you who would then weigh and price them. It was a wonderful system that you had taken credit for but was ultimately Matty's idea - you refused to give him the satisfaction.

Matty was humming along to the niche album that he had convinced you to play, softly nodding his head to the beat as he sliced through packing tape on a rather large box. It was comforting - to have company, even if it was a man that you didn't necessarily care for. You couldn't ignore that despite your differences, the time the two of you had shared today was actually enjoyable.

It was weird, concerning almost, the way that you couldn't seem to take your eyes off of him. You convinced yourself that you were staring at him because the sight of him - dark hair, skin covered in tattoos, silver metal hanging from his ear, stuck out against the environment the two of you were in. But deep down you knew that wasn't the reason you felt drawn to him. Maybe it was the way he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth when he cut the box open or maybe it was the way his right eyebrow would twitch when he was inspecting the crystals - looking at the stones from every possible angle before placing them in the pile next to you. Or maybe it was the way he seemed genuinely curious about each new crystal that he discovered beneath the bubble wrap. 

"Moss Agate?" Matty's voice broke you out of your daydream, only noticing that he had spoken because you were so in tune with the way his tongue peaked out to lick his bottom lip before doing so. "Hm?" You hummed, forcing your attention on the Amethyst clusters in your hand before he noticed you staring, immediately looking twice as hard at work than you needed to be. 

"The label on this box says Moss Agate, what does this one do?" Matty had questions about every new variant of crystals he had opened, seeming to actually be interested and not trying to be a dick for once. Just a few minutes ago he had asked if Moonstone actually came from the moon. It was cute. No. It was nice. Not cute.

"It's the stone of new beginnings and it’s good for attracting abundance." You explained softly, huffing when Matty smiled in response. "Don't laugh, c'mon, we were getting along so well."

"I’m not laughing, I promise." Matty defended, shaking his head softly before shrugging, his dark eyes avoiding your own in favor of staring down at the crystal in his palm. "I smile when I see something pretty."

You felt a little nauseous at the memory of him smiling at you, having too many options to choose from for your brain to focus on just one. You were quick to convince yourself that he didn't know what he was saying. "Hold it up to the light, you can see the moss inside of it, it's super pretty. One of my favorites." You smiled, distracting yourself again with the Amethyst cluster in your hands that suddenly felt sweaty in your palms.

"Mine too." Matty agreed, nodding softly, entranced as he turned the tower in the light to see all the moss inside. "You've said that about every single one." You giggle, glancing over at the tattooed boy to watch the way his mesmerized eyes stared at the crystal, the sight had your stomach swooping. Matty chuckled, placing the crystal down in your pile of inventory that needed to be weighed and priced, you were falling behind on your job - getting too distracted by him to focus on your own task. The two of you sat in silence for the rest of the album, unpacking and pricing inventory, the workload slowly dwindling down as you enjoyed the music that filled the room - enjoying the sound of Matty humming and softly singing along more, but you’d never admit it out loud. But when the album ended, Matty felt the need to fill the void himself.

"So,” Matty started, poking his bottom lip out as he twirled the box cutter he'd just closed around in his fingers, sighing before laying down on the floor like you had hours before.

"So?" You drew out, placing a sticker with a price written on a sphere before turning your attention to him, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back on your hands, tilting your head to look at him with curious eyes.

Matty stared up at the ceiling, avoiding eye contact, a few beats of silence fell between the two of you before he grew the courage to ask, voice soft and full of uncertainty. "What's up with Kian?" Your heart immediately thumped faster at the mention of the barista, eyes honed in on the way Matty had started to pick at the skin around his thumb, his bottom lip poking out slightly before he spoke up again, clearing his throat and speaking a little louder this time. "Are you going on that date with him?" You tilted your head to the side with furrowed brows, narrowing your eyes at the tattooed boy despite the fact that he still wasn’t looking at you. "Aren't you the one who told me to?" Matty's head shook slowly against the rug, his hair flopping around against the bohemian style. "I don't think so."

You hummed, you definitely remember him suggesting it. But instead of arguing with him, you shrug your shoulders, watching him carefully. "Maybe." Matty’s pout slowly turned into a smile as he rolled over onto his side, resting his head on his hand as he stared at you with dark eyes that gleamed with amusement. You narrow your eyes in suspicion, not trusting the way he was looking at you, almost scared to ask. “What?"

"Oh, nothing." Matty chuckled, shrugging his shoulder with a raised brow, the smile on his face only grew bigger at the confusion on your face. "Just- you know, considering the cup with his number on it is in your trash can and all."

Your mouth dropped open, eyes wide as you laughed in astonishment, the sight caused Matty's own laughter to fill your shop. You stretched your foot out to knock against his arm, softly kicking the tattoo artist and huffing through cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "You're an ass."

"Hey!" Matty drew out between laughter, bringing his arm out to hit your foot softly, missing and landing on your calf instead. His warm hand lingered on your bare skin for a beat, igniting a fire underneath that traveled from the contact all the way up to your stomach, swirling there until he cleared his throat and pulled back. "Admit it."

"Admit what?" Trying your hardest to ignore the lingering burn his hand had left on your calf, on the way your stomach clenched at the loss of contact, choosing to focus on the way Matty’s dark eyes rolled back into his skull instead.

Matty fixed you with a pointed look. "Admit that you only flirt with him for the free coffee." He requested, turning his head to the side and cupping his hand behind his ear for dramatic effect, waiting on your admission.

"I do not!" You gasped, bringing your leg out to kick softly against his arm again, hoping it would bring his hand back down to your leg and feeling disappointed when it didn’t. "He's nice and kind and makes really good drinks and-"

"And." Matty drew out, looking at you expectantly, his soft pink lips already upturned into a smirk. 

You huff, glaring at him for a beat before finally breaking. "And maybe I only flirt with him for the free coffee." You admitted sheepishly, covering your face with your hands so you wouldn't have to look at the way Matty celebrated. "I knew it!" Matty laughed, you were sure he was sporting a bright, gloating smile on his face. You refused to look. "I must say, Jewels, you shock me. I wouldn’t expect you to do such a thing."

"Stop, don't make me feel more bad than I already do.” You groaned, keeping your hands over your face, you could feel the guilt start to spread throughout your veins. “I already feel like a terrible person for doing it." 

The smell of Matty's cologne grew stronger alongside the sound of shuffling and before you knew it, warm hands were on your own, pulling them from your face. You felt as though the wind had been knocked from your lungs at the immediate sight of Matty’s face so close to your own, the warmth from his hands burned against your own and ignited the fire back in your stomach. It made you feel dizzy - having him this close. Matty’s dark eyes searched your face, almost as if he was trying to memorize the features now that he had you this close, swallowing thickly when they finally settled on your own. His voice was quiet, almost a whisper, because that’s how loud he had to speak for you to hear him. "You’re not a terrible person." Your heart was pounding, ears ringing, thoughts whirling in your head at such a rapid pace that you almost missed what he had said all together. The smell of his cologne mixed with the lingering smell of the cigarette he smoked earlier when he stepped outside between boxes and intoxicated your brain in a way that made you feel like you were floating, the only thing grounding you was his hands that still held your own despite the fact that he had no reason to anymore.

You forced out a strangled laugh, shaking your head softly to distract from your racing heart. "You have to see the irony here." "What?" Matty asked softly, his dark eyes searching your own. You could feel his breath against your lips, stomach swooping at the feeling. “What do you mean?”

"You of all people telling me that I'm not a terrible person." You roll your eyes in a teasing manner, huffing out a breath that fanned out over his mouth, his tongue peaking out to lick along his bottom lip at the feeling. “As if you haven’t said the opposite for months.” Matty's face fell, his dark eyes filled with regret as they locked back with your own, licking his bottom lip once more before swallowing thick and hard, releasing a shaky breath before speaking through nerves. “I’m sorry for being such a dick all the time.”

Granted, you should have spoken up and assured him that he wasn't, but you would have been lying and for some reason you couldn't seem to find your voice - it probably had something to do with the way Matty’s thumb had started to rub against the back of your hand, sending waves of warmth through your palms and spreading to course through your veins. 

“I-I don't know why I am. I don’t know why I treat you this way. I just-" Matty cut himself off in favor of gulping, his dark eyes filled with an unknown emotion as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth for a split second, his fingers that held your palms tightened ever so slightly and jump started your heart into overdrive. “I think it’s because-“ Matty’s breath fanned against your lips as he spoke, his dark eyes gave in to the battle he had been having with himself all night and finally landed on your lips, snapping away almost as quickly as they landed - his dark eyes growing wide and panicked as he pulled himself away from you, dropping your hands as if they had burned him. "I should go." Matty was standing so fast that he almost knocked over an entire pile of towers in the process, stumbling through the shop as well as his words while you remained glued to the floor, the heat from his hands still lingered against your own. "I have to go. I gotta- I'm sorry.”

You watched as Matty frantically searched around the room, grabbing his phone that he had discarded on your counter hours ago, snatching it and making his way to the front door - looking anywhere but you. You rushed to stand, calling out to him. "Wait, don't you still need help with your sister's gift?"

"Yeah, I'll uh- shit." Matty winced from the pain of running into one of your tables you had set up to display the various options of tarot decks, catching one that had fallen from the impact and placing it back where it had fallen from with shaky hands that nearly caused more to fall in the process. "I-I'll come back sometime this week." His voice rushed, strained. His eyes pinned to the floor as he opened the glass door, his knuckles white on the door handle. "I'll see you around, Jewels." "Yeah, I'll-" You started to reply but Matty was already out the door, the sound of the chimes above your door sounded throughout the shop, your heart beating to the rhythm it sang - whispering the end to yourself. "see you around?"

You stood in the middle of your shop, dazed and confused, bubble wrap and stray crystals surrounding you with the smell of Matty's cologne still lingering in the air. You could still feel the phantom touch of his hands against your own, skin still tingling from his hold, lips still warm from his breath hitting against them, heart still racing at the possibility.

You remained glued to your spot in the middle of your shop until the sound of the chimes above your door had fizzled out, the only thought coursing through your head was - what the hell just happened?

—

You tried your hardest to not give Matty the satisfaction of letting him know that he was pissing you off, but that was proving to be quite a tall order considering you couldn't stop your eyes from drifting to the tattooed boy pacing on the strip outside of your store, cigarette in hand.

You hadn't spoken to him since he abruptly left your store a few days ago, the action still baffling to you - almost as baffling as the closed sign that graced the door to his tattoo shop since that day. You had sworn that he had told you he had appointments lined out for the week, and he was never one to close shop for more than a day, so his sudden absence was strange.

Not that you cared, of course.

It's not like you were expecting one good day to turn the two of you into best friends, but you were at least thinking that he would become more considerate - meaning no more stray cigarette butts outside of your store.

You picked up your cup of coffee from the counter, taking a big swig, eyes glued to the cigarette between his lips, head full of thoughts of how unhealthy his habit must be as he inhaled deeply - throwing his head up towards the sky before exhaling a big roll of smoke. He seemed stressed. Maybe he was going through something, maybe that's why he hasn't been around the past few days, maybe you should go check on him.

Matty brought his head back level, eyes landing on you through the glass of your shop walls as he put the cigarette back between his lips, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. You should have looked away, you should have been embarrassed at how you had been caught staring, but that all washed away when Matty smirked before blowing smoke once more and dropping the remainder of his cigarette to the concrete right before your welcome mat, stomping it into the ground all while never breaking eye contact.

That little shit.

You knew this is what he wanted, but you couldn't stop yourself from barreling out the door, a smart remark ready to fire off of your tongue but Matty had beaten you to it.

"Starbucks today, I see." The smirk on his face more evident than ever, his dark eyes landing on the coffee in your hand. You had left your store so quickly that you had forgotten you still had the beverage in your hand, squeezing the plastic cup a little tighter now.

"Okay?" Your voice already full of attitude, tilting the cup to try and hide the green logo despite the fact that he had already seen it. Matty's smirk grew into a smile as he shook his head, dropping it between his shoulders and shuffling his feet. You narrow your eyes. "What?"

Matty glanced up at you with a raised brow. "So we're avoiding Kian then?" 

You had already given him the satisfaction of letting him piss you off, you refused to give him the satisfaction of being right about this too, quick to try and change the subject. "Is there a reason you're smoking at nine thirty in the morning?"

"Okay, so we are avoiding Kian, good to know." Matty ignored your question as you had did to his, an arrogant look in his eye.

"I never said that, don't put words in my mouth."

"You're avoiding him just like you're avoiding my question, just admit it." Matty shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.

You stared up at the boy before you, taking a deep breath and counting to ten before you let your internal thoughts win, the thought of smacking him was starting to sound more and more rational by the minute. "Anyways, back to you having cigarettes for breakfast."

"Fine, you don't want to admit that I'm right, we can change the subject." The arrogant smile had returned, the tone of his voice almost as if he was talking to a child. "What did you have for breakfast, Jewels?"

"First of all, don't talk to me like that." Eyes narrowing, mimicking him by crossing your own arms over your chest, annoyed by the fact that he had already crawled under your skin and ignited a fire within. "Second of all, stop fucking leaving your nasty cigarette in front of my store."

"Oo!" Matty held his hands up in defense, smirking and raising a brow. "Are you allowed to use that type of language, little missy?" bringing his hand over his heart in faux shock. "You wouldn't wanna throw off your chocolate, now would you?"

"Chakra." You corrected through gritted teeth, you knew from the laughter bubbling out of the tattooed boy that he was just trying to get a rise out of you, but you couldn't help how angry he made you. "It's pronounced chakra, chocolate doesn't even make any sense."

Matty shrugged, "It's stupid no matter how you pronounce it." You had counted to ten so many times since coming outside that you were forgetting how to count at this point. The two of you stood there staring at one another, annoyance filled your stare while satisfaction filled his, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. "Is there a reason you're still standing here? What do you want, Jewels?"

You had to close your eyes and take a deep breath before responding. "You're outside of my store, remember?" You could already tell from the look in his eye that he had a smart remark to make. "So I should be asking you why you're still standing here."

"Oh," Matty looked behind you, eyes searching through the glass wall at the front of your shop. "The lack of customers threw me off, I must have forgotten there was an actual store here."

"Why are you being such an asshole?" You scoffed, tightening your arms over your chest. After the other night, you weren't expecting the two of you to become friends but you definitely weren't expecting him to be so cruel still, especially after he had apologized for acting this way. What changed in the few days he was gone?

"I'm just stating the obvious here!" Matty shrugged, bringing his arm out to gesture towards your store, a condescending tone in his voice. "No one's breaking their neck to come buy some rocks, sweetheart." His head cocked to the side. "Seven Wonders? Where did that even come from?"

"For the millionth time, they're not rocks, they're crystals." You were growing more agitated by the second. You knew that he knew they weren't rocks, you knew he just referred to them that way because it got you like this. Yet, you always allowed it to bother you. You couldn't help it. "And Fleetwood Mac, dumbass." You scoffed, "As if you have the room to comment on the name of my shop, at least mine has a reference. What the fuck does 102 Tattoo mean?”

“I’d tell you, but I don’t know if your brain has the capacity to understand it, sweetheart." Matty mimicked your tone, eyeing you up and down.

You rolled your eyes, the fact that he had called you sweetheart in a condescending way twice in the past few minutes had you refraining from pulling your hair out, desperate to get under his skin as he had yours. " I don't see people breaking their necks to come get tattooed by you either." You brought the topic of discussion back to defend yourself, searching for a way to drop that smug fucking smile off of his face. "Why would they? Loud music, shitty artwork, oh! And the owner is a fucking dick."

You knew you were crossing a line by saying what you had about his artwork, knowing that it wasn't even true when you said it. From what you had seen, he was very talented. In fact, you wouldn't mind having some of it on yourself if it didn't mean having to be in his presence for so long. You regretted it as soon as it left your tongue, but judging by the dark look in his eyes, it was far too late to take it back now.

"See, that's where you're wrong, Jewels." Matty laughed softly, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a pack of Marlboro's, opening the top to pick a cigarette from the pack before sliding it back in his pocket, bringing the cigarette alongside his lighter up to his lips with a raised eyebrow. "I have three appointments today, four tomorrow. In fact, the entire rest of the month is fully booked."

"Well-"

Matty cut you off with a step closer to you, towering over you and blowing smoke in your face. "Don't ever disrespect me or my business again." Matty's dark eyes intimidated you so close, you were too nervous to speak, you had definitely crossed a line. "Let's make one thing clear," Matty spoke, taking another step forward and causing you to stumble backwards, swallowing thick as you stared up at him. "my business is successful. It has a purpose. I get to create beautiful artwork for my clients, ones that they get to have on their bodies forever." You felt like curling up into a ball the more Matty spoke, wishing the ground would open and swallow you as his intimidating dark eyes pinned you to the concrete, the smoke from the cigarette in his hand invading your lungs. "You and your business are pointless." Matty smiled, but it wasn't kind, it was full of malice as he waved the cigarette around. "Your little hippie store is a joke." His words felt like a blow to your chest. "It's not real. It's all in your head." Bringing his pointer finger to his own head for emphasis as you stood there willing your eyes to not fill with tears. "Go get a job at a bank or something, do something with purpose." Matty shrugged, bringing the cigarette to his lips one last time before throwing it down the minimal space between your bodies, stomping on it with too much force that caused you to tense. "Grow up a little."

Matty stood in front of you for a little while longer, almost giving you time to respond. You couldn't, you had no idea what your response would even be. Matty scoffed, shaking his head before walking away, the absence of his cologne jump started your eyes to fill with tears. You felt so small. You needed to go back inside, but you were glued to your spot on the concrete, Matty's words ringing in your mind, hitting a nerve in you that he had no clue was so sore - his words were all too familiar to ones your father had said to you years ago.

"I want you to explain to me, slowly, why you would skip out on going to college." Your father asked from the head of the dining room table, elbows on the wood and hands folded over one another. "To instead open a little hocus pocus shop. I would love to hear your thought process behind this. Please enlighten me."

"Dad, I-"

"No." He laughed. "You're wrong."

"You haven't even let me defend my decision." You argued, looking over at your mom for some assistance, scoffing when you found her eyes staring down at her lap. "I'm passionate about this, you know this has always been a dream of mine."

"There's nothing to defend, passion has nothing to do with this. You need an income and money doesn't fall from the sky that holds the cloud of dreams, it comes from a stable job. With real purpose and benefits." You fathers gruff voice raised in volume. "Rocks and spells don't pay the bills, degrees that get you jobs do."

"But-"

"No." He interrupted sternly. "You're going to college or you'll get no support from us. And I mean it, don't even ask us for a cent."

"I don't need your money." You argued. "I can do it on my own."

"Oh, you don't?" You dad scoffed. "Do you even know how much starting a business costs? You have to rent the building, pay taxes, and buy inventory. You won't even see profit for the first year. Should I continue?" Your head had dropped between your slumped shoulders, eyes now focused on your laps much like your mothers still were. "It's not realistic, you have to know that. Grow up a little."

By this point, the tears were streaming down your face, the feeling of one of your teardrops hitting your wrist had you rushing to wipe them from your cheeks, bottom lip trembling as you took a deep breath. Matty had never gotten to you like this before, he had never made you cry.

It was the fear of him getting the satisfaction of looking out of his glass wall and seeing your tear stained cheeks that finally had your legs moving, carrying you inside of your shop quickly and locking the door behind you.

You hated him.

And you hated that you had allowed him to get you to this point. It wasn't fair. You didn't know what you ever did to make him hate you so much, the feeling wasn’t even mutual in the beginning, you had only started being mean back  in response to him. You don't know what went wrong. It had to be you, what did you do? What was wrong with you? What about you was so insufferable that Matty couldn't stand the sight of you?

This was one of those rare times you actually wished Matty had his music blaring, the fear that he could hear your audible cries through the shared wall was enough to have you covering your mouth but not enough to stop the tears from falling. It was all too much - what Matty had said, the memories of what your father had said, the reminder of how no one had ever believed in you but yourself. 

All the emotions running through you had you overwhelmed. You were angry. At yourself, at your father, at Matty. You had to get back at him.

You didn't understand why Matty was so against you going on a date with the nice boy from the coffee shop the two of you stopped by most mornings, but he had always seemed to have an issue with him. Always rolling his eyes or scoffing when Kian spoke to you. You recalled the smile on Matty's face when he called out the fact that you had thrown the cup with Kian's phone number in the trash, the image of his smile burning in your mind as you made your way over to the trash can he had found it in - thankful for your laziness for once when you remembered that you hadn't taken it out yet.

It didn't take long to find the clear cup through the napkins and receipts on top of it, wiping the last few tears from your cheeks and clearing your throat before typing the number into your phone - Kian picking up on the third ring. —

Matty fucked up.

He knew this. He knew as the words were coming out of his mouth that he was going too far, but he couldn't stop himself. He always did this. He had a terrible habit of self destructing.

He knew the night that he abruptly left you in your store that this would happen, the fear of almost indulging himself had him ready to destroy everything he had built with you that night. He couldn't let himself warm up to you, there was no way he was going to break his walls down and allow you to creep inside. Nope. No way.

He had always had a habit of taking things to the extreme with you, quick to drown the butterflies in his stomach in fire when you were around, but he'd never let it go this far before. He knew it was best to keep you at a distance, but he wasn't completely heartless. Believe it or not, he did care about you.

He had watched you stand outside after he had came back in his shop, beating himself up more and more the longer you stood there, closing his eyes and mumbling a "fuck me" when you turned and ran into your crystal store with a wet face.

Matty couldn't stop his feet from walking towards the shared wall, pressing his ear to the surface and scrunching his face up at the sound of you crying on the other end. Matty rested his forehead against the wall, bringing his hands up to his hair and pulling it out of frustration, the sound of your sobs had nausea rolling through his stomach.

Nice going, dick. You made the kindest, most amazing woman in the world cry.

"Dumbass." Matty mumbled to himself, shaking his head against the wall before pushing himself to stand up straight, glancing up at the clock. Matty brought his hands up to rub his face out of frustration, groaning before jogging out of his shop to make his way to yours, pulling on the handle multiple times when the door to Seven Wonders wouldn't budge.

After about the fifth time of trying to force the door to open, Matty smacked the glass out of frustration, no one to blame but himself, bringing his head to rest on the cold glass with his eyes closed. "Jewels, I know you're in there."

Silence.

Matty didn't expect much more.

His heart ached and he didn't like the feeling, why did he care so much about you anyways? He should be happy that you were probably never going to speak to him again, not feeling sick like he did right now.

After two more tugs to the door handle, wishing he was strong enough to break the lock, Matty gave up, turning around and sliding down the door, bringing his legs out in front of him and resting the back of his head against the glass.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, hoping that if he stayed, you would come out to speak to him. Matty was deep in thoughts full of regret and the sounds of your cries playing on a loop when he felt someone walk up beside him, towering over him and clearing their throat.

Matty opened an eye to squint at the man standing above him. "Are you Matty?"

"Who's asking?"

"Oh, well, um-" The stranger looked around uncomfortably, a sheepish smile on his face. "I have a tattoo appointment for eleven?"

"Oh, shit!" Matty was quick to stand on his feet, he had been sitting out there for longer than he thought, brushing the dirt off his jeans before offering his hand for the man to shake. "Justin? Sorry, I lost track of time."

"Yeah, man, all good." Justin smiled, accepting the hand shake with a warmer smile. "May I ask what you're doing out here?"

"Oh, just-" Matty stuttered, glancing at the crystal store behind him, hoping to catch a glimpse of you and deflating when he didn't. "Trying to apologize, you know?"

"Ah," Justin nodded. "Trouble in paradise, I get it, I made my girlfriend mad this morning too."

"N-No, ha, no, not that. I- uh-" Matty stuttered, trying to find a response but Justin's claim throwing him for a loop. "She's not my girlfriend." Matty laughed uncomfortably, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. "I just- you know what, it doesn't matter! Let's get you inside, man."

"Oh, I'm sorry for assuming." 

"All good, no worries." Matty forced a smile, feeling more and more nauseous the further he stepped away from your crystal store. From you.

"Seven Wonders?" Matty heard from behind him, holding the door to his tattoo shop open while looking at Justin who was standing further back on the sidewalk and looking up at the sign above the door to your store. "What's a metaphysical store?"

"Uh, like spiritual shit." Matty replied, arm growing tired from holding the door open, narrowing his eyes at the man when he looked back at your store one last time before making his way over to Matty’s. "You know, witchy stuff."

"Like a hippie store? Weird." Justin questioned with furrowed brows, making his way inside. Even though Matty felt a little hypocritical, he knew that he had just called your store the same thing, but hearing the judgmental comment come from a stranger didn't make Matty too happy. Only he was allowed to speak about you that way, not some guy who didn’t even know you. He blamed how hard the door slammed on the wind and not his anger at the comment. "What do they even sell there?"

"Um-" Matty knew this, he had been in your store many times and had even helped you with inventory, why was he drawing a blank? "like tarot cards? A-and incense, stones, stuff like that.” Matty explained, an involuntary smile twitching at his lips at the memory of the items he explored in your store the other night, shrugging. “It's actually pretty cool, to be honest."

"Like rocks?" The judgment in his voice evident. Once again Matty felt like a major hypocrite, but in his defense he only called them rocks because it got a rise out of you and he liked the way your jaw clenched when he said it, which is exactly what got him into this mess in the first place. "If I wanted to look at rocks, I'd look in my backyard, you know what I mean?"

"They're not rocks." Matty huffed, agitated with the way Justin spoke about your store, feeling a strong urge to defend you to the stranger. "They're crystals. And what's it to you? If you don't believe in it, then don't, but don't shit on someone else for it."

Maybe Matty should listen to his own advice.

"Wow, I'm sorry." Justin's smile was back to sheepish, his hands raised in defense. "I didn't mean to step on any toes, you're right, it’s none of my business." Matty nodded, an action Justin followed. His eyes squinted slightly and a chuckle tumbled from his lips, raising an eyebrow at Matty before questioning. "You sure she's not your girlfriend, man?"

And if Matty's hand that he tattooed with was a little heavier than usual, he didn't feel bad about it at all.

—

Matty was exhausted.

The weight of his eyelids almost too heavy to carry, not feeling any lighter even as the hours of his morning progressed. He hadn't slept - up all night with his own words gnawing at his mind. The same words that had caused tears to fall from your eyes and a heavy feeling on his heart to form. He knew he had to make things right, he just didn't know how.

Matty had always had a hard time admitting when he was wrong, blame it on being a Aries, but he had always been this way. He didn't know much about astrology, but from what google had told him at three in the morning, he had finally found a blame to put the problem on.

Are Aries good at apologizing?

Aries are known for being bold, confident, and passionate, but they can also be impulsive, aggressive, and impatient. They often act before they think which can lead to arguments and misunderstandings. Aries hate to lose, so they will rarely admit that they are wrong or apologize for their actions.

Matty found truth in what he was reading, shifting in his bed at the fact that the internet had called him out. He found himself deleting the search bar and typing in a fresh next text, embarrassed that he even had to google it in the first place.

How to apologize to a girl?

Don’t just say you're sorry. Say it like you mean it. You should be able to tell her why you acted the way you did, and how you propose to fix the problem. In some cases, verbal apologies don't work, especially if the fight was too severe. You can opt for other ways to apologize, such as a grand or romantic gesture like writing her a love letter, or leaving flowers and chocolates at her home and place of work. Anything that shows how sorry you are about what you’ve done will help the reconciliation process.

Matty groaned, locking his phone and staring at the ceiling. A grand or romantic gesture? He needed advice on how to apologize to a friend - or more accurately, an acquaintance.

He groaned once more, ashamed at the fact that he had just googled how to apologize, knowing how disappointed his mother would be if she knew. Instead of thinking about how she’d scold him for his actions, he tried to wrack his brain for any advice she had given him in the past. Chocolate was her suggestion with Matty's high school girlfriend and flowers were the solution with the girlfriend after that. Matty groaned for a third time, bringing his hands up to scrub at his face out of frustration.

He fell asleep trying to focus on anything other than why his brain immediately remembered how he had apologized to his previous girlfriends when thinking of how to apologize to you. —

"Carmen, I'm not talking about this." You scoffed into the phone pressed between your shoulder and ear, hands too occupied with fumbling around in your tote bag, searching for your keys as you walked along the sidewalk towards Seven Wonders and holding your coffee in the other.

"You have never not told me about a date before." Carmen groaned while you cheered, finally grabbing your keys after far too long of searching. "Was it that bad?"

"It wasn't the worst," You sighed, slumping your shoulder and holding your phone in your right hand instead now that it was free. Kian was nice, you felt terrible that you hadn't enjoyed yourself on the night the two of you had shared. Almost as terrible as you felt about only going on the date in spite of the tattooed boy who you were hoping you wouldn't run into today. "but it wasn't the best either. I don't know, Carmen. I don't know what's wrong with me. He was perfectly sweet, a true gentleman, I just - it didn't feel right. Something was off."

You smiled at an elderly woman walking in the opposite direction, tightening the tote bag strap on your shoulder, the sign to your shop finally coming into sight. "Well, now I'm even more confused. If he was perfect, then why didn’t you enjoy yourself?"

"That's the thing, I don't know." You sighed, faltering footsteps when you came close enough to the front of your store to notice the man standing outside of it. So much for avoiding him today, I guess. You sigh, mumbling into the phone. "Hey, I've got to go."

"Fine." Carmen exasperated dramatically. "But you're coming over later and telling me every single detail."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." You mumbled into the phone, eyes locked on the pair of dark ones in front of you. "Bye."

You hung up, crossing your arms over your chest after locking the device, feeling a little light headed at the whirlwind of emotions that ran through you at the sight of Matty leaning against the wall of your shop, two coffees in hand - one more empty than the other. Anger, sadness, surprise and maybe even a little astonishment for how good he looked leaned against the wall - the sunlight hitting him just right.

Matty's smile didn't reach his eyes, the nervousness he felt almost radiating off of him. He shifted his weight between his feet, clearing his throat before speaking. "Morning."

You stared at him longer, too busy wracking your head around why he thought standing outside of your business that he had just shit on was a good idea to stop yourself from answering rudely. "What are you doing here?"

"I uh-" Matty cleared his throat once more, holding out the hand that was holding the full cup of coffee out to you, a sheepish smile on his face. "I got you a coffee."

You blinked at him, eyes falling down to the drink in his hand. The Tiger's eye ring on his finger shined in the morning sunlight, the sight made your stomach roll. "I have a coffee." You gestured to the one already in your hand, shaking the ice around in the cup, smiling tight and awkward. "So."

"Yeah, but you know this will be better than the Starbucks in your hand." Matty's voice was more playful than before, yet the nerves remained. Your heart skipped at the fact that he noticed that you hadn’t gone to Vienna for your coffee yet again, hoping he wouldn’t question why. "C'mon, it's an iced vanilla latte, your favorite." He sang, mimicking the action of shaking the ice around in the cup, enticing you to grab it. "I even remembered the oat milk."

You inhaled deeply, hesitant to reach out and accept the coffee from him, fingertips brushing against his own as you did. "You know my coffee order?" Eyebrows scrunched as you lifted the drink to your mouth, taking a sip of the new coffee and hoping that he hadn’t poisoned it. You allowed Matty to take the Starbucks from your hand, watching as he walked it over to the nearest trash can and tossed it in the bin.

"Of course I do?" Matty's voice grew in volume as he made his way back over to stand in front of you, crossing his leg over the other and leaning back against the front door of Seven Wonders, something flashing on his face before he cleared his throat once more. "I mean, uh - just from us always being at Vienna at the same time, you know?" You nodded, bringing the coffee up to your lips once more and taking another sip, watching the way Matty fidgeted with the Tiger's eye ring on his right hand. Matty spoke through a grimace, "So, uh, you're still avoiding Kian then? You know? The Starbucks."

Matty's joke fell flat, his forced laughter drifting off into the wind as your stomach clenched at the mention of the boy you had spent your night with. You had no plans of sharing any details about your night with the tattoo artist, despite him being the only reason you went in the first place.

"I kind of need to open shop, Matty." You were sure the smile on your face seemed as forced and uncomfortable as you had felt. It made you miss the arguing, much easier to communicate with him that way. Matty's face fell, shoulders slumping against the wall before he pushed himself off to stand straight.

"Jewels, wait." Matty spoke softly, but quickly.

"Don't." You sighed, shifting your eyes to look anywhere but him. The absolute last thing you wanted was to listen to the apology you knew he had on the tip of his tongue. You had spent all night trying to forget everything he had said to you, apologizing would just bring the memory right back to the forefront of your mind. And quite frankly, you were tired of thinking about it.

"No, please just-"

"I really don't want to hear it, Matty." You interrupted, finally finding the courage to look in his eyes. "Look, no hard feelings, okay?"

"But-"

"I promise." You interrupted once more, trying to sound confident despite how small you felt with him towering over you, blocking you from entering your store. "I know why you're apologizing, you're worried that I won't help you out with your sister's birthday gift anymore."

"Jewels, that's not why-"

"A deals a deal, okay. You helped me with inventory so I'll still hold up my end of the deal and help you pick out something nice for your sister." You shrugged, taking a moment to take another sip of your coffee as Matty stared at you with defeat and frustration written all over his face. "You're allowed to say how you feel and you did, there's nothing wrong with that."

"But that's not how I feel, I-" Matty spoke quickly, desperately trying to get a word in but you refused to let him.

"It's fine, Matty. We're adults and I think that after I help you, we should keep our distance. We don't have to pretend to like one another, we can be civil and share a wall without interacting, I think we'd both benefit from that." You smiled softly, taking a few steps forward towards the front door to your crystal store, sliding the key in the lock and turning it, opening the door ever so slightly before it was being slammed closed by his hand - the sudden closeness of Matty's face overwhelming you.

"Will you let me fucking speak?" Matty spoke through gritted teeth, squeezing his dark eyes shut and inhaling a deep breath before opening them again - less fire behind them now. "I'm sorry, I just- I don't want any of that. I don’t want to avoid you.”

You were too shaken up by the force of the door closing and Matty towering over you to speak, only able to raise your eyebrows in response. "Look, I fucked up, alright? I know that. I didn't mean any of the things I said. I-"

"I told you I don't want to hear any of this, Matty." Your head shook, trying to pull the door open once more but his hand remained on the glass, keeping it closed with one arm. You glare up at him, refusing to look at the way the muscles in his arm flexed as he held your door closed. "Let me in."

"Let me speak!" Matty laughed through exasperation, knuckles white against the door. "Please, just let me apologize." Matty begged, taking your silence as an invitation to continue. "I didn't mean it, I swear. It was the heat of the moment and I lashed out because I was hurt by what you said about me and I'm sorry. I think that what you've done is so admirable, you're so successful at such a young age and I think it was just me being envious because it took me longer to gather as much success as it took you. But it wasn't fair of me to take that out on you and I'm so fucking sorry. It was a total dick move, please let me make it up to you." Matty's eyes searched your face desperately trying to find any signs of forgiveness. "I-I'll do anything, I'll help you with inventory again, I'll buy your coffee for the rest of your life. Fuck, I'll come out here and pick up all the stray cigarettes, okay? Just - just please tell me you know how sorry I am."

By the end of his apology, your eyes were glued to the floor, trying to focus on the pavement and fight off the tears that threatened to pool in your eyes. You refused to cry over this boy ever again. Instead of responding, you tugged on the door once more, you knew you wouldn't be able to open in with his hand on it but you figured you'd give it a shot anyway. "Jewels, please."

You hated being an empath because half of you was screaming to just let it go, the desperation and sadness in his tone was enough to make you forgive and forget, but the other half of you was keen on replaying the harsh words that he had said to you on a loop and in the end that half had won the battle. "Please just let me go inside, Matty."

Matty slumped, head dropping down between his shoulders, his arm eventually falling from the door as he stood up straight - staring down at you with helpless eyes.

You didn't linger, too scared that you'd be too weak if you stared into his dark eyes for too long, going inside and leaving Matty standing outside of your store alone.

Matty's eyes remained on where you had been standing, feeling defeated. He seemed to be glued to where he was, standing there until the feeling of his phone vibrating in his pocket woke him up out of his daze.

Matty sighed, pulling his phone out of his pocket and seeing his sister's name across his screen, accepting the call with furrowed brows.

"Hey, what's up?" Feeling rather embarrassed by how sad his voice had sounded.

"Well, you don't sound too happy this morning." Poppy laughed into the phone. "What's wrong with you?" Matty sighed, kicking his feet against the pavement as he turned his head to look through the glass of Seven Wonders, watching the way you turned on the lights in the shop - setting up for the day. "Oooo wait, let me guess." Matty was already rolling his eyes before his sister had the chance to make the jab. "Girl troubles."

"Enough." Matty groaned, unable to pull his eyes away from you, huffing when he saw you wipe your face. "Fine, sort of."

"Sort of?"

"I mean, she's not my girlfriend, but she is a girl - so." Matty sighed, bringing a hand up to his forehead and rubbing away the headache that was starting to form. "Why did you call?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, this is much more interesting." Matty rolled his eyes once more at the tone of his sister's voice, always more interested in her older brother's life than her own. "It's her, isn't it?"

"What?” Matty scoffed, quick to take his eyes off of you in fear that she was somehow able to see him staring at you. “Who?" 

"You know who." Poppy sang. "The pretty girl who works next to you, you know the one you're in love with?"

"I am not in love with her." Matty scoffed at the accusation, eyebrows more pinched than before as he started to pace back and forth. This wasn't the first time that Poppy had made that claim and Matty was almost positive it wouldn't be her last. "You're ridiculous."

"Okay, but it is her we're talking about, right?" Matty could tell even through the phone that Poppy was smiling on the other side, ready to gloat, almost making him want to lie but ultimately deciding against it.

"Yeah." Matty sighed. "Yeah, it's her."

"I knew it! What'd you do this time?" Poppy accused.

"Hey, why are we so quick to assume that it's my fault?" Matty defended, knowing the argument was weak but feeling the need to defend himself regardless. The silence on the other end spoke for itself. "Fine, it was my fault." Matty groaned through Poppy's laughter. "I was a dick. A major one. She won't let me apologize, I don't know what to do."

"You could leave her alone?" Poppy teased, Matty knew she was joking but it didn't stop his heart from clenching at the thought.

"Ha ha, very funny." Matty huffed. "Some actual help would be appreciated."

"I don't know what you expect me to tell you other than what I already have." His sister sighed. "You won't listen to me."

"What are you talking about? You haven't told me anything."

"Get over yourself and admit that you like her." Poppy spoke like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Honestly, the world would be so much more at peace if the two of you would just fuck already and realize you’re meant to be."

“Poppy!” Matty gasped, cringing at the fact that his sister was talking about his sex life, quick to defend himself. "I do not like her." Matty scoffed, cursing himself when his eyes drifted back to you, watching the way you stood on the tips of your toes to reach a shelf that wasn't even the top one, his heart fluttering at the sight in complete contradiction to his claims. "And we are not meant to be, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Right." Poppy drew out, Matty knew without even looking at his sister that she was rolling her eyes, sighing. "Look, you know what mom would tell you to do."

As soon as she said it, Matty was reminded of the night before, how he had stayed up all night googling and remembering the advice his mother had given him in the past and both of them seemed to draw the same conclusion - a grand gesture.

But what?

Matty rubbed his right hand over his face in frustration, the cool metal from his ring soothing the heat of his skin from standing outside for so long. Poppy was drawing out a "Hello?" around the same time Matty had flipped his hand over to stare at his Tiger's eye ring in the sun. That's it.

"I've got to go." Matty mumbled into the phone, hanging up on his sister before she had the chance to say anything else, quick to open up safari on his phone and typing in something totally different than what he had been searching the night before.

Crystal Stores Near Me

• Seven Wonders: 0.1 miles away

• Magic Jewels: 8.7 miles away

Matty wasn't surprised when Seven Wonders had come up as his first option, not only was it the most popular one in town, but he was also standing right outside of it. Google probably assumed he was a big, ginormous idiot. But it would be rather hard to shop for the girl who owns the store he was shopping in.

Matty scrolled down, looking at the second option on the screen. Magic Jewels. Matty didn't need to look any further, Jewels being in the name was enough to have him taking off towards the parking lot, swinging his leg over his motorcycle and rushing in the direction of the metaphysical store - praying he wasn't about to make a fool of himself. —

Matty felt like a lost puppy.

The only metaphysical store he had been in was yours, so he felt uncomfortable now standing in the middle of Magic Jewels. He stuck out like a sore thumb, eyes scanning the room in search of anything that would call out to him. Matty remembered hearing you tell a customer that once, that if you didn't know what to buy, let the crystals choose you instead of vice versa and right now Matty felt like all the crystals in the world had somehow spoken to you and were also giving him the silent treatment.

"Hi, you look like you need some help." Matty turned his head around to face the voice that came from behind him, smiling at the elderly woman dressed in earth tones.

"Hi, I do." Matty chuckled, holding his hand out for the woman to shake. "Matty."

"Ethel." The woman smiled, shaking his hand. "Are you looking for anything specific?"

"Um - I guess? But not really? I-I'm not too sure." Matty chuckled alongside the elderly woman, running a hand through his dark hair and looking around at the various displays around the shop. "I don't know too much about all this stuff, just what Jewels -“ cutting himself off to correct himself, saying your name instead.”Y/N has taught me."

"So we're shopping for someone else, then?" Ethel smiled at Matty with a warm smile, never having had anyone who looked like him ever in her store before, she was intrigued. "Tell me more about her."

Matty couldn't help but allow his eyebrows to scrunch, why was she asking about you? He hadn't even told her that's who he was shopping for yet. Was she a psychic or something? Judging from the crystal ball he'd seen when he first walked in, he didn't think that was too far-fetched. "Uh, she's into all of this stuff, I'm sorry - forgive me, I don't want to be disrespectful. I just don't know how to word it."

Not wanting to offend the elderly woman as he did with you.

"You're fine." Ethel assured, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "She must be pretty special if she got you in a place like this."

"Yeah, she is." Matty agreed, clearing his throat when he registered what he had just said. What? "I'm just trying to get her something nice. Show her how sorry I am, you know? I just - I don't know what I'm doing. Or what anything means, other than this." Matty explained, holding up his hand that held the finger his Tiger's eye ring was attached to. "She gave me this, told me it was good for confidence? That's really all I know, honestly. She's told me more, it's just hard to remember. I don't know how you guys do it.” Matty spoke earnestly through a breathy laugh. “I have a hard enough time remembering where I place my different colored inks."

Ethel threw her head back in laughter. "You're a hoot." She smiled, hand coming out to grab Matty's once more, pulling the ring closer to her face. "This is beautiful, I wonder where she got this."

"Oh, she sells them!" Matty smiled, ignoring the sense of pride that swelled in his chest. "Yeah, she owns Seven Wonders, it's down by-"

"You're kidding!" Ethel exclaimed, dropping Matty's hand out of excitement. "When you said Y/N, I didn’t realize we were talking about her!" The elderly woman hit Matty on the arm lightly, smiling bright as ever. "Oh, she's an angel. I love her!” Her smile faltered slightly as she narrowed her eyes. “What did you do to that poor girl?"

"I didn't realize the two of you knew each other?" Matty smiled, feeling intimidated by the way Ethel was staring at him waiting on him to give her insight. "I guess I just figured the two of you wouldn't be friends, considering you're competitors."

"Oh, no competition in a field like this, we lift each other up not the other way around." Ethel smiled, grabbing his hand once more to admire the ring again. "I should have known this came from Seven Wonders, she always has the best jewelry pieces."

"Yeah, she does." Matty agreed, once more ignoring the pride swelling in his chest. Where the fuck was that coming from? "Think you can help me find her something pretty? I'm desperate here."

Ethel glanced up at Matty with a raised eyebrow, dropping his hand. "You didn't cheat on her now, did you?"

"What?" Matty laughed, almost choking on his spit, clearing his throat and running his hand through his hair again. "No - we aren't. She's not- no. No, I didn't.” Shaking his head and stumbling through his words. “We're friends, well, sort of."

Ethel nodded along with amused eyes and a soft smile, waving her hand in the air - signaling for Matty to follow her as she started to walk through the narrow aisles of the store. "I think I have something for you."

Matty was careful to watch his step through the store, ducking under decorations and tip toeing over things, not wanting to mess anything up - finally feeling at ease when Ethel stopped in front of a display that look like a wooden version of a tree, the branches holding up several options of necklaces. Ethel hummed along to whatever song was playing in the background as she searched through the chords, cheering when she found the one that was on her mind.

"Here it is!" Ethel smiled, carefully pulling the black chord free from the branch, holding the necklace out to Matty. "My intuition tells me this will be a perfect fit for her."

Matty's heart skipped a beat at Ethel's claim, the feeling of deja vu washing over him as he looked at the Tiger's eye necklace in his hands, the elderly woman's words reminding him of the ones you had said to him the day he saw the ring on his finger for the first time.

"You can put it on, my intuition tells me it'll be a perfect fit."

Matty's mouth suddenly felt dry as the memory washed over him, trying to stop himself from thinking about how he had claimed fate that day. Instead, he focused all his attention on the necklace in his hand, turning it around in the light. "This is beautiful, Ethel. I think she'd really like this."

"I'm sure she will." Ethel smiled, staring at him with knowing eyes that he didn't notice - too wrapped up in watching the stone shift in the light.

—

Matty thought about how to give the necklace to you his entire drive back to the strip where your two shops lived, weighing out the pros and cons of delivering it in person. He didn't want to push his luck and come to Seven Wonders for the second time that day, he didn't want to give you any fuel to push him away any farther.

In fear of making you any more angry at him, he ultimately decided it was the best idea to just leave it at the door of your shop.

Matty searched around his own tattoo shop, trying to remember where he had left the bandana he had forgotten on accident up here months ago, feeling proud of himself when he was able to locate the red paisley printed cloth.

Matty wrapped the necklace up in the bandana with shaky hands, he couldn't quite pinpoint why he was so nervous. He felt like a middle schooler giving his first girlfriend a Valentine for the first time. But this was completely different, why was he so nervous to give something to an acquaintance?

Matty walked over to his front counter, ripping a sticky note off of the stack and grabbing a pen, trying to make his hands as steady as possible as he wrote on the yellow piece of paper.

I'm really sorry, please forgive me.

Matty sighed, dropping the pen to the counter before placing the sticky note to the outside of the bandana that held the necklace. He stood in the middle of his shop contemplating whether or not this was a good idea or if this was going to do nothing but make things worse.

What's the worst thing that could happen, right?

Matty didn't dwell on all the bad things that could happen, carrying the makeshift present outside before he talked himself out of it. Matty glanced through the glass of the shop, making sure you weren't out on the floor to see him placing the red paisley cloth on your welcome mat.

Matty stood back up straight, staring down at his bandana that now laid in front of your door, taking in one last deep breath before walking away - crossing his fingers that you could find it in you to forgive him.

—

"Thank you so much for coming in today, I hope you enjoy everything you picked up!" You smiled at the girl who couldn't be any older than twenty, handing her the shopping bag over the counter. "And if you have any questions or need anything, you can stop by anytime."

"Thank you! I hope you enjoy the rest of your day." The younger girl returned the smile before turning on her heels and exiting Seven Wonders. 

She was one of the numerous people that had passed through your store today, alongside the handful that remained in there now. It was busy for the middle of the week, but you were grateful. It kept you busy, didn't give your brain the time to think about the boy next door. 

You hated to admit it, but what Matty had done that morning was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for you, it made you feel guilty for how you had treated him in return. He did truly seem sorry, you had heard half assed apologies more times than you could count coming from him and this was nothing like that. This seemed genuine and that terrified you. 

Why the sudden change? Why did he care that he hurt your feelings? Matty a few months ago would have loved to hear that you never wanted to talk to him again, so why was he fighting against that so hard now? It was confusing and it made your head spin. 

"Excuse me," The soft voice that came from the woman in front of you pulled you from your own thoughts. 

"Hi, sorry, what can I help you with?" You stood straighter, giving your attention to the customer as opposed to your next door neighbor. 

"Actually, I think I have something for you." The woman looked just as confused as you felt, your head tilting to the side ever so slightly with furrowed brows as you watched the woman set down the red paisley cloth on your counter. "This was sitting on your welcome mat, I think somebody left it there? I'm not sure how long it's been out there, but I wanted to give it to you before it got lost on the sidewalk or someone else picked it up. You know how some people are."

"Yeah." You weren't quite sure what you were agreeing to, you weren't even sure you had fully even comprehended what the woman had been saying to you, too focused on the recognizable handwriting on the sticky note that was placed on top of the cloth. "Thank you! I had no idea it was out there, I appreciate that."

"Of course!" The stranger gleamed yet lingered, you were expecting her to walk away and start looking around the shop but were surprised when she stood grounded in her spot, staring at you with waiting eyes. "Sorry, I'm just being nosey, I want to know what it is."

"Oh!" The exclamation coming out more breathless than you had expected it to, your hands felt more clammy than usual as you pulled the paisley cloth closer to you, trying to talk your heart down from racing as you started to unfold the bandana. 

"Oh wow." The woman watching exclaimed her fascination, taking the words that you weren't able to voice out of your mouth - only being able to form a gasp as the contents inside were revealed. "That's beautiful."

She wasn't lying. The piece of jewelry that laid against the red paisley was very pretty, shining in the light and contrasting beautifully against the cloth. You stared down at the Tiger's eye necklace with eyes that dared to get teary, too afraid to pick it up in fear that it would shock you.

 What did this mean? Why had Matty gone out of his way to buy you something so beautiful? So meaningful. Had he purposefully planned to match this to the ring you had given him? Or was this just the first thing he saw? This was too much. Your mind was racing.

How did we go from apologizing with a coffee to apologizing with a necklace?

"It is." You agreed, eyes sliding from the necklace back over to the sticky note, rereading the words written neatly on the yellow paper. 

I'm really sorry, please forgive me.

And how could you not?

"My advice?" The woman who was still standing before you spoke up, making you focus your attention on her instead of the gift before you. "Never let him go. He seems to really care about you."

Your head was nodding in agreement before you had time to process what she had said, the woman already gone from the counter before you could voice a "Wait!" to get more explanation as to what she meant by that. 

Your eyes fell back down to the necklace in a new light, Matty did really seem to care about you, despite how mean he could be. But why? The thought terrified you. What were you going to do now?

—

Hours had gone by since Matty had left the necklace on your welcome met, the time that passed did not help ease the anxiety that settled in his stomach since walking away from it. He really hoped he wasn't making a fool of himself and he hoped that you would understand that he wasn't trying to buy your forgiveness, he was just trying to show how sorry he was. He tried to not think about it too much as he tattooed the clients that passed through his shop throughout the day, but he found it nearly impossible to think of anything other than you - something that had proved itself to be quite difficult the past few months. 

You had consumed his brain and it was starting to make Matty feel like he was going mad. 

From the day he had met you, you had been at the forefront of his mind. It was concerning, really. When he first got introduced to you, Matty assumed the infatuation was due to the fact that you were a new person in his life so it was normal for him to want to know everything about you. But when the shift in your relationship went from friendly to the complete opposite, Matty blamed the obsession on annoyance and the fact that you knew just the right buttons to push to piss him off. But now? Now Matty wasn't entirely sure why he couldn't seem to get you off of his mind. It was terrifying, really. This had never happened before. 

Matty wished he could understand why he cared so much about you, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that made you so different from anyone else in his life. What were you doing to him?

The sound of the door to 102 Tattoo opening pulled Matty out of his spiral, speaking without turning around to face whoever just entered the tattoo shop. "Hey, what can I do for you?"

Matty shuffled through some papers on the counter, trying to find a blank information form for whoever had just walked in - making a mental note to file away the one from his previous client. Matty's eyebrows furrowed as he pulled the blank form from the stack of papers, confused as to why nobody had responded to his question, eyes rising to the front door and shoulders slumping when he recognized the person standing there. "Oh, what do you want?"

Kian shuffled his feet, looking around the shop awkwardly before clearing his throat. "Look, I know we don't necessarily get along, but you're by far the best artist in town."

Matty stared at the man for a beat, refusing to thank him for the compliment, voice sounding just as uninterested as he felt. "Okay?"

Kian huffed, shaking his head slightly. "I have a tattoo I've been wanting to get, I looked around at different artists in the area and I kept coming back to you." Kian explained. "Not only is your work incredible, but I think it'll help ease my nerves since I sort of know you." The blonde sounded nervous under Matty's stare, feeling uncomfortable that the artist had yet to speak. "Look, I know that you and Y/N don't care for one another, but you don't have to take that out on me. Can we please not allow personal relationships to come between professional settings?"

Now he had Matty's attention. 

"Why would what I have going on with Y/N have anything to do with you?" His voice dripped in confusion and malice. "What? Because we both go to your little coffee shop? Well, I don't know if you've noticed, man - but she hasn't stopped by in a few days."

Kian laughed breathlessly, "No." The anxiety that had been in his stomach all morning had diminished and was quickly replaced with something Matty couldn't quite pinpoint. "Because we went on a date last night and now whatever problems you have with her fall on me too because of that." 

Matty tried to ignore the way it seemed to feel like the ground just got pulled from beneath him. "She did not go on a date with you, man. Come on." Matty scoffed, shaking his head and staring at the blonde who was looking back at him with confused eyes. "She would have told me."

"Why would she have told you about that?" Kian laughed once more, each time making Matty feel smaller despite how he was trying to present himself. "You're not friends. She wants nothing to do with you."

Matty refused to believe that Kian was right, holding onto the fact that you had once shared with him that you had only flirted with Kian for the free coffee. Matty chose to focus on the memory of that conversation and the fact that he had found the coffee cup with Kian's phone number in your trashcan instead of what Kian was telling him now. Had you just been lying to Matty the entire time? "You're wrong."

"Okay, I'm wrong." Kian's voice dripped with sarcasm, clear that he just wanted to move the conversation back to what he came in here for. "Look, I didn't come in here to fight with you or make you feel like I was trying to start something, I'm not. I just really want you to do this piece for me and I don't want you to take your personal issues with Y/N out on me just because we're seeing each other."

Matty felt like his head was going to explode and if looks could kill, Kian would have been on the floor minutes ago. The foreign feeling that had filled Matty's stomach started to pool in his veins at the thought of what the two of them had done the night before.

Maybe it was the fact that at the end of the day Matty was a professional or maybe it was the way that Matty felt the need to prove to you that he wasn’t bothered about the date with Kian, but Matty found himself agreeing. "You're right, I'm sorry." The words felt like they were choking him as they left his mouth. "If you would do me a favor and fill out this information form, it's just basic questions - contact information, a detailed description of what you're wanting and what availability works best for you so I can try to get you in as soon as possible." The professional side of Matty overtaking, telling himself that he was just talking to a regular client, not the guy that you were seeing. "You can take this with you and drop it off when you get it finished, uh, my number is at the bottom if you have any questions. If I'm not in the shop when you're wanting to drop it off, you can just slide it under the door and I'll contact you after I review it and find an opening for you."

"Alright, sounds good." Kian's smile seemed genuine as he accepted the form from Matty, eyes scanning over the sheet. "Thanks man."

Matty nodded, waving with a tight smile as Kian walked out the door of his tattoo shop, waiting until the glass door was fully shut before he dropped the fake persona - groaning as he put his hands on the counter before him and dropped his head between his shoulders. 

What was happening to him? Why did he care so much that you went on a date with Kian? Matty shouldn't care about what you chose to do with your free time, so why did it feel like he was about to lose his mind?

The sound of his phone dinging on the counter pulled him out of his own head, grabbing the device with more anger than what was necessary - reading the text from his sister on the screen with heated eyes. 

Just trying to get an idea for a time that you're wanting to see me this weekend? I'm trying to make plans with my friends, but I want to have the plan with you settled before making one with them. 

Matty stared at the text, rereading the words and trying to pinpoint exactly why he was needing to make a plan with his sister for this weekend. A huff of frustration fell into the air when he remembered. Her birthday. Matty rubbed his free hand over his face out of frustration - he had completely forgotten about Poppy's birthday this weekend and the fact that he still needed your help with picking out a gift for her. 

I'm free whenever you are, just let me know what you're feeling. 

Matty's mind drifted back to you despite how badly tried to not allow it to. He still wasn't even sure you were going to speak to him, you had told him earlier that you would still help him but he didn't want your help if you were going to be distant from him the entire time. He was hoping you would be as comfortable with him as you were the night he helped you with inventory. But he had ruined that small relationship the two of you had built that night and he had no one to blame but himself. 

Would you be down for lunch on Sunday?

Matty glanced at the oversized calendar he had hanging on one of the walls of his tattoo shop to keep up with upcoming appointments, realizing that it was Thursday and the time was only continuing to dwindle. 

Works for me, see you Sunday :)

Matty locked his phone after Poppy responded with a heart, rubbing his hands over his face out of frustration. He only had two days to get his gift for his sister sorted out and he didn't know if two days was enough time for you to forgive him. He didn't want to push you, but you had promised to help him, so despite how nervous he was to see you he found himself walking out of his shop and entering Seven Wonders - noticing that the bandana he had left out there hours ago was now gone. 

Matty looked around the metaphysical shop, eyes scanning over the various customers in the store but not being able to locate you. After what felt like hours of searching but in reality was nothing more than a few minutes, Matty saw you near a wall of candles, body stretched as high as it could possibly go on the tips of your toes as you reached for an item on the very top shelf. Matty smiled to himself, making his way over to you quickly before you accidentally knocked a bunch of glass over. 

Matty came up behind you, steadying you with a hand on your back before reaching over you and grabbing the green candle you had been fighting for with little to no effort. Matty felt you tense under his hand before relaxing when you realized it wasn't a stranger who had been invading your personal space. Matty was quick to remove his hand from your back, the warmth from you lingering on his fingertips as he held the candle out to you with a sheepish smile. "Here you go."

You stared at him in astonishment, the feeling of his hand on your back remained as you accepted the candle from his tattooed hands. "Thank you." Your voice came out more quiet than you intended for it to. "What are you doing here?"

"I swear I'm not trying to avoid your request for space, I promise, it's just that Poppy's birthday is this weekend and I really need to get her gift figured out." Matty explained, trying to subtly look at your chest and feeling disappointed when he didn't see his necklace dangling there. Before walking in here he had told himself that if you were wearing the necklace then that was his sign that you were ready to forgive him and if you weren't, well, there was his answer. "If you could just point me in the right direction of what she might like, I won't even ask you to help me."

"No." Your quiet voice still seemed to boom in Matty's ears. No? "I promised you that I would help you with her gift in exchange for you helping me with inventory, I'm keeping my word."

"I don't want you to feel obligated to, I didn't mind helping you the other night, I kind of enjoyed the company." Matty shrugged.

"I don't feel obligated, I want to help." You assured, breaking eye contact to focus on the candle in your hand instead. "So did I."

"Oh." Matty's stomach flipped at your words, happy to hear that you had enjoyed hanging out with him that night as much as he did, even more angry at himself now for ruining it. “Okay.”

Matty watched the way you held up a finger at him with an apologetic smile before carrying the candle over to a customer who Matty hadn't even noticed was standing off to the side watching them. You talked with the customer for a few minutes, Matty assumed you were explaining all the ways the candle could be used, he remembered seeing the word abundance written in a pretty font on the front of the glass when he'd grabbed it off the shelf.

When the conversation came to an end, you sent the customer off with a smile before making your way back over to stand in front of him, fidgeting with something around your neck before crossing your arms. "I'm sort of busy right now, but you can come back later if you're free? Closer to closing time, that way you can kind of have the store to yourself, you know? Give you the freedom to look at everything without anyone being in your way or me having to leave to help someone."

"Yeah." Matty agreed, feeling some form of relief that you were actually speaking to him. "Yeah, that sounds good, I'm free."

"Perfect." You smiled softly while nodding, glancing behind him at the counter where someone was waiting to be checked out.  "I gotta go, but I'll see you later, yeah?"

You had already started to walk away but Matty wasn't ready for you to leave just yet, grabbing your arm with a gentle hand and blaming static on the shock he felt from the contact with your skin. "Wait, Jewels. I-I'm sorry about the necklace. It was a stupid idea I had, I-I didn't mean to overstep."

You pulled your arm from his grasp, laughing softly with faux confusion on your face. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't see-" Matty started to question if she had seen the bandana outside her door, but cut himself off when you raised your hands to your hair, pulling it up into a quick ponytail - the action making a familiar black chord visible. The top part of the Tiger's eye pendant peeking out from where you had it hidden under your shirt, an involuntary smile spreading over his face as a wave of relief washed over him at the sight of the necklace he'd bought you around your neck. There was his answer. "Never mind."

You failed to fight a smile of your own, arms now back at your sides, furrowing your brows and tilting your head to the side. "What?" Eyes narrowing at the dark haired boy playfully. "What are you smiling about?"

Matty huffed out a laugh, dropping his head and shaking it at the ground to give himself time to wipe the smile off of his face only for it to return when he lifted his head to look at you again. "Oh, nothing." You nodded your head, the way your eyes gleamed at him made Matty's legs feel rather unsteady. "I'll see you later tonight, then?"

"Yeah." You agreed. "I'll see you tonight."

Matty nodded once more before you finally turned to make your way towards the front counter, apologizing to the customer who had been waiting to be rung up for a few minutes now. Matty remained glued to his spot by the shelf of candles, watching the way you wrapped up all the pieces the woman had purchased, handing her the shopping bag with a smile. Watching you like this was not going to help his problem with thinking about you so much, this was so unhealthy for him, he was aware - but he couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from you. Not when yours slid back over to him when the customer walked away, rolling yours playfully while shaking your head. 

All the months of you being at the forefront of his mind, all the nights of him trying to pinpoint exactly why he couldn't seem to keep his mind off of you, all the times unknown emotions he felt when Kian flirted with you in front of him, all the confusion and searching for an answer all came crashing down on Matty right in the middle of Seven Wonders.

Fuck. He was in so deep. 

—

"You can take the wrap off when you get home, just make sure you clean it really well with unscented soap and moisturize it with some unscented lotion and you should be good to go!" Matty shot a warm smile at the girl who was now standing up from the tattoo chair, nodding along to the instructions he was giving her. "If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to reach out to me, alright?"

"Yeah, of course, thank you so much!" The girl returned the warm smile, reaching into her purse and grabbing two twenty dollar bills out of it, holding it out to him. "This is for you."

"Oh, thank you, I appreciate that." Matty quickly removed the black gloves from his hands, gratefully accepting the tip from her. "Just give me a call when you figure out what you want next."

"I will!" The woman gave Matty one more smile before turning on her heels and exiting 102 Tattoo. Matty folded the cash and stuffed it into the front pocket of his jeans, he was always grateful when customers tipped him.

Matty let out a huff when he looked at the situation before him. He loved his job, he loved tattooing more than anything but he also hated cleaning up after tattooing someone more than anything.

Matty sighed, picking his discarded black gloves up and tossing them into the trash can across from him. He was quick to discard everything laying around, placing the things that weren't meant to be thrown away back where they belong and sanitizing the tattoo chair thoroughly. Since the girl he had just finished tattooing was his last appointment of the day, he figured he might as well take out the trash and sweep the floor too just so he wouldn't have to do it in the morning.

By the time he had finished, he needed a cigarette - or two. Now leaned against the brick wall of the side of the building, Matty watched the people walking around the strip - eavesdropping on random conversations within earshot while letting the smoke invading his lungs calm him down. The sound of laughter pulled Matty's attention to the side, head turning to see two girls who couldn't be any older than seventeen walking towards him.

Matty wasn't dumb, he knew they weren't coming this direction for him, teenagers couldn't get tattoos without a parents permission. No, he knew where they were headed. Seven Wonders. Matty held in a snort as he politely waved back to the blonde haired teenage girl, shaking his head as the two of them whispered and giggled before opening the door to the crystal store next to him. Matty shook his head once more, inhaling another breath of smoke before pulling his phone out of his back pocket to check the time. 6:39. Matty knew your store closed at 7:00, it wasn't like he was watching you or anything, the two of you just always seemed to be walking to the parking lot at the same time every night.

He remembered that you had told him to come in a little before closing time, the time changing to 6:40 had him quick to finish the rest of his cigarette - continuing to eavesdrop as he did. By the time the cigarette had burned far enough down to deem it done, Matty started to drop the remainder to the ground - ready to stomp it out and make his way inside. But as soon as he started to throw it down he thought of you and how worked up you always got when you noticed the stray discarded cigarettes all along the pavement.

Normally, Matty would have walked over to drop it right in front of your doorstep to stomp it out, loving to exploit anything that made you angry. Yet for some reason he found himself walking five stores down on the strip to the outdoor ashtray, shaking his head at himself as he put out the cigarette with his finger against the black hard plastic - wiping his hands on his jeans before making his way back down the strip to his own shop to lock the door.

By the time he was swinging open the door to Seven Wonders the time had just turned to 6:48. Matty took a step inside, letting the door slowly close behind him as he scanned the inside of the store for you - seeing the two teenagers from earlier near the display of necklaces in the process. Eventually he found you, over near the shelves of candles, seeming to be in deep conversation with a woman standing across from you - your nose scrunched as you laughed at something she said. Matty found himself making his way over to you. He wasn't trying to interrupt, he just stuck out in the store and thought he'd feel more comfortable being near you. As he made his way closer, you looked over the woman's shoulder and noticed him, giving him a welcoming smile before turning your attention back to her. Matty came to a stop next to you, fiddling with the ring on his finger out of nerves from the fact that both of you were now looking at him. Matty cleared his throat, an apologetic smile gracing his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just didn't know where to go, please continue."

"Oh my goodness, no, you're fine! I've been talking her head off for the past ten minutes." The woman laughed, turning to look at you. "I'm so sorry, when I get to talking I just can't stop."

"Don't apologize, I enjoyed the conversation." You assured, looking between the two of them before speaking again. "Amelia, this is Matty and Matty, this is Amelia." You gestured between the two of them while smiling.

"It's nice to meet you." Amelia offered a hand that Matty accepted in a shake, returning the sentiment. "I'm so sorry for keeping her tied up, I'm sure she'd much rather be spending her time with you." The sound of you clearing your throat distracted Matty from reading too much into what Amelia had just said. "We talked for so long that I forgot what you initially needed help with." You spoke through a giggle, "Do you remember?"

"Oh, you're too young to be forgetting things." Amelia teased, Matty watched the interaction with a small smile. "And I'm too old to remember. I have no clue what I even came in here for."

Amelia's statement sent you and Matty both into a fit of laughter, "Hey, that's alright, maybe you just needed to talk." Matty spoke up for the first time in a minute.

"You're right, I did. It was so nice to meet both of you. I'll look around for a little bit, maybe it'll help me remember what I needed." Amelia glanced around as she spoke.

"Of course, if you need anything else I'll be here." You chuckled, waving back at the woman before she turned to start browsing the store. You turned to Matty with slightly wider eyes, taking a deep breath before giggling. "You're early."

Matty felt his eyebrows scrunch. "Didn't you tell me to be?

"Well, yeah, I did." You shrugged. "But you're a man, I didn't expect you to listen." Teasing the tattooed boy before you, smiling when his dark eyes rolled. "I thought it would be 7:30 by the time I'd see you."

"Alright." Matty drew out, tone full of faux offense.

You smiled, looking quite proud of yourself, but soon your attention was pulled to the front counter. "Oh shit, let me go check these people out. You can entertain yourself with whatever while I'm gone."

You were gone before Matty even had the chance to respond, turning his head to look at what all was around him. "What the fuck am I supposed to entertain myself with?" Matty whispered to himself as he took in the sight of candles, tarot cards and crystals. His eyes drifted towards you at the front counter, watching as you apologized to the two teenage girls he had seen outside earlier for them having to wait.

Matty's feet were carrying him before he had time to process it and before he knew it he was standing in front of the orange counter, not thinking twice before turning around and placing both hands behind him to hoist himself up on top of it, only realizing that maybe that's not nice to do to someone else's property when he felt your eyes on him. Matty turned to you with a sheepish smile, shrugging his shoulders before folding his hands in his lap. Oh well, he was already up here now. Matty looked down at the counter to avoid staring at you any longer, choosing to look at what the young girls were purchasing instead. "So what'd you guys pick out?"

Matty glanced up when he was met with silence, the sight of the two teenagers' red faces had him looking back at you with concern only to be met with you shaking your head in astonishment at them. Matty remembered the way the two girls had blushed and giggled when he had waved at them and suddenly realized what was happening now. When you realized the two younger girls weren't going to speak up, you decided to break the silence yourself. "They got some pretty cool pieces of jewelry and a few tumbles, right girls?"

The two girls nodded along while Matty's face drew up in confusion. "Tumbles? I thought that's something that gymnasts did?" The look you fixed him with had him holding his hands up in defense, laughing along with the two girls even though they were probably laughing at his expense. "Sorry." "I'm sorry about him, he's not usually in here, I promise." You laughed breathlessly, gathering up the products placed on the counter and ringing them up. Matty didn't think it was the right time to speak up and say that the two of them would probably be more likely to come back if you had said that he was in here more often than not. Instead, he quietly watched as you placed the things the girls had bought gently in little mesh looking bags that were then placed into a bigger white paper bag that you folded the top of over before handing over to them. "Here you go, I hope you enjoy the rest of your night and I hope to see you both again."

"Thank you!" Matty was shocked to actually hear one of the girls speak. "Actually, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course." You smiled warmly despite the confusion radiating off of the rest of your face. "What's up?"

"Well, we just wanted to know where you got your necklace from?" Matty was watching you as the girl spoke, the way your eyes got slightly wider at her question had his eyes falling to your chest, a smile involuntarily spreading over his face at the sight of the necklace he had bought that you had hidden under your shirt earlier was now out in the open. Matty kicked himself for not noticing earlier. "We were looking around the whole store trying to find it and couldn't. We didn't know if it was out of stock or if you had bought it from someone else." Matty's smile had turned smug now that you were looking back at him, his arms crossing over his chest as he looked at you with squinted eyes. "Yeah Jewels, where did you get your necklace from?"

Your eyes were off of him before he could even finish his sentence, looking back at the teenage girls with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I don't actually know, a friend of mine got it for me."

And sure, Matty could have chimed in and gave the girls the name of the store that he bought the necklace from, but he was too busy staring at you with curious eyes and that same smug smile from before. "Oh, that's okay! Thank you for everything, we'll be back." The young girl smiled and then the two of them were out of the store before Matty had even noticed them leaving, leaving the two of you all alone now, Matty still staring at you with a smile that he couldn't seem to get rid of.

"And what the fuck are you so smug about?" Your voice pulled him out of his trance, your own arms crossed over your chest now, trying to appear upset but the gleam in your eye told him otherwise.

"Oh, nothing." Matty shrugged, "I just didn't know we were friends now. That's all."

Your eyebrows furrowed, a scoff falling from your lips. "What on earth did you hear that gave you that impression?" Matty was quick to straighten his back, looking down at you from his place on top of the counter, twirling an invisible strand of hair around his finger. "A friend got this for me." His voice was high pitched in a way to mock you, returning back to normal before saying. "So we're friends then?"

"Oh!" You drew out, tone full of faux confusion. "You got this for me?" Matty snorted, "What did you think little fairies brought it to your door mat or something?" folding a leg up under himself so he could turn his body to face you better but still being respectful enough to not put his shoes on your countertop. You stared at him for a beat, shaking your head at how comfortable he was making himself in your store. You thought about yelling at him for sitting on top of your counter but instead found yourself hoisting yourself up on top of the counter as well - folding your legs to be criss-crossed across from him, not caring about your shoes being on it. "No, not fairies." You scoffed, shrugging, taking the opportunity to tease the man. "I thought Kian bought it for me." You were lying. Of course you knew Matty was the one that bought it for you, but you also knew that for whatever reason Matty did not care for Kian. It was more fun to mess with him than to let him stare at you smugly. "Kian." Matty scoffed, accompanied by an eye roll. "What about him?" You questioned, leaning your elbows on your thighs and narrowing your eyes at the boy sitting on the counter across from you. "It had a note on it saying I was sorry, what would Kian even have to apologize for? Being annoying?" Matty grumbled while a thought came to his head, one that had his jaw clenching ever so slightly. "He didn't hurt you did he?" "You're the annoying one." You tried to tease, but the heat of Matty's stare made your joke fall flat, rolling your own eyes with a sigh. "No, of course he didn't hurt me, he's a gentleman."

The confirmation had Matty's cold face breaking, his head thrown back in a laughter that mocked the man that wasn't around. "Oh yeah, he's such a gentleman." The sarcasm dripped from his tongue, his eyebrow raising as he fixed you with an unimpressed stare. "I heard about your little outing, how'd that go?"

"Our date." You corrected, missing the way Matty scowled at the words, shrugging while playing with a loose thread that was at the bottom of your bohemian style pants. "It was good." And you weren't necessarily lying. The date itself was good. He took you to a very nice place for dinner and you had a good time. It just didn't feel right. You couldn't even really pinpoint why and that was starting to drive you insane. "I don't know why you're trying to force yourself into liking him." Matty scoffed, shaking his head. "I'm not forcing myself to do anything." You replied with squinted eyes, not sure why you were feeling so defensive considering he was right. "Okay." Matty shrugged. "You believe me?" You didn't even believe yourself.

"Fuck no." Matty laughed through a snort. "But I'm not here to argue with you, I'm here for my sister, so." "Oh, right, duh. I completely forgot." You were thankful for the change of subject, sliding yourself off of the counter and making your way over to the front door. You locked the door and flipped the OPEN sign to CLOSED before turning the big overhead light off, the room being illuminated by some of the salt lamps and vintage lamps that were sporadically placed throughout the store. "You trying to wine and dine me?" Matty teased, referencing the lights. "Oh, please.” You snort, rolling your eyes playfully. “Anytime I stay after hours I always do this, you know how people are, they see the lights still on and they completely ignore the closed sign.” You shrug. “I don't want anyone to bother us." Matty nodded, "Makes sense. I had a guy knock on my door an hour after I had closed up shop once because he saw me sweeping and thought I might have had time for a walk in." You laughed at the story, shaking your head as you made your way back over to the counter, leaning against it instead of sitting on it this time. "So, what are you thinking?" "No, what are you thinking? I'm completely clueless in here." Matty spoke honestly, looking around the store and feeling overwhelmed by all the choices. "I was kind of hoping you'd do all the work and I'd just hand you my card to pay for it." "A typical man." You teased, giggling at the middle finger being raised in the air. "I'll be happy to find something for you, but I need some help from you. You said she's into all of this, but how into it is she? Like it is just the surface level of crystals? Or is she into manifestation, spells or like shadow work or anything?" Matty's dark eyes were wide and full of confusion. "I know she likes crystals, yeah. I'm not too sure about all that other stuff.” Matty shrugged before his face furrowed in bewilderment. “Did you just fucking say shadow work?" "Wait, so you're telling me your sister doesn't dance naked in the moonlight every full moon?" You tried to keep a straight face, but ultimately let the laughter bubble out of you when Matty's eyebrows scrunched further and his eyes grew impossibly wider. "I'm fucking with you." You assured, still laughing at Matty as he blew out a huff of air before smiling himself. "But yes, shadow work is where you discover unconscious parts of your personality."

"Okay, no, I don't think she's that deep into it." Matty answered skeptically. "Okay, what about tarot?" You questioned, glancing around your store to give yourself ideas of what you could offer him.

"Who?" Matty laughed breathlessly through the word, feeling like his head was whirling from never having been so lost in a conversation before. "Tarot." You repeated with a chuckle. "Like tarot cards? You know, the ones those crystal ball psychics use in TV shows." "Oh, the ones that predict the future, right?" Matty spoke, vaguely remembering a show he had fallen asleep watching once. "Eh, more or less." You shrugged, looking back at him. "Is that something she might be into?" "Does that really work?" Matty ignored your question in favor of asking his own. "Tarot?" You asked, Matty nodded in confirmation. "I don't know, let's see." You were pushing yourself off of the counter before Matty could protest. "Wait, I don't know about this. I don't think I want to know my future, Jewels." "Oh, hush, you'll be fine." You walked over behind the counter, grabbing your tote bag and digging through it until you found your deck of tarot cards, smiling brightly while holding them up before placing them on the counter. Matty reached out to grab the item while you hoisted yourself on top of the counter once more, pulling your legs into a criss-crossed position while watching Matty flip the white box around in his hand, reading the contents of it. "The Modern Witch Tarot Deck?" Matty read out loud, looking up at you through furrowed eyebrows. "You do not keep a pack of tarot cards in your bag, Jewels." "Of course I do." You stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, reaching over to grab the white box from Matty hands, ignoring the way he shook his head in astonishment. "You are something else." Matty leaned back on his hands, bringing his leg that had been dangling off the side of the counter up onto the orange surface to mirror how you were sitting. "What?" You laughed softly, opening the box and pulling the cards from it, raising your eyebrows and giving him a wicked smile. "You never know when someone might need a reading." Matty shook his head once more. "This isn't like ouija boards, right? This isn't opening me up to some demonic shit?" That pulled a louder laugh out of you. "No, Matty." You shook your head, looking at him with raised brows again. "What? Are you scared?""No, I'm not scared." Matty stated, yet shifted against the counter. "I just don't know anything about this." He shrugged, bringing a tattooed hand up to the back of his neck. "Isn't there a death card in there?" "Oh my god, you are scared." Your mouth dropped. "We don't have to do this, but if it makes you feel any better, the death card does not mean what the word implies. I promise. This isn't anything to be scared of. It's nothing to take seriously. They always say, ‘take what resonates with you and leave behind what doesn't.’ It’s harmless." Matty nodded along, fidgeting with the ring on his finger. You could have comforted him more, but instead you decided to mess with him further. "But if you're too much of a pussy then-" "Oh, okay." Matty nodded, his mouth open and eyes squinted. "I see what you're doing here." You shrugged, starting to slowly shuffle the cards in your hands. "I'm not doing anything." Dark eyes narrow at you, the two of you staring at each other for a beat before Matty huffs out a breath, rolling his eyes. "Fine." Matty agreed, shaking his head as you cheered in response, starting to shuffle the cards faster. "But if I find out something bad is going to happen to me, I'm blaming you." "Yeah, yeah." You brushed him off. "Do you want me to do myself first?" "You can do it on yourself?" You nod.. "Okay, yeah. I'll go after you." You nodded once more, Matty watched as you continued to shuffle the deck, a few cards flying out of the deck that Matty moved to pick up for you. "Don't."

You stopped shuffling, placing the cards left in your hand off to the side and gathered the cards that had fallen out yourself. "Normally I do this in a more cathartic way. Incense, crystals, all that shit." You explained while looking at the cards that had flown out of the deck to piece together the meaning. “But you don’t have to do it that way, this works too.” "Wait, I thought that you picked flipped over cards or something?" Matty asked, watching you observe the cards in front of you. "You can, this is just how I do it." You shrugged, looking up at him. "It makes me feel like the universe is picking the cards for me or something." Matty hums. "Okay, you wanna see what I got?" Matty nodded, leaning forward a little so he could see what the cards said, missing the way you smiled at him before explaining what everything meant.

"Okay, this is the Six of Pentacles." You held the card out for Matty to observe, smiling when he grabbed it from your hand and brought it closer to his face. "This card is about wealth, as you can assume by the coins. This card reflects a state of financial security and generosity, suggesting that you can generously use your wealth and abundance for the benefit of others." "Like your store." Matty nodded along, handing the card back to you. "Yeah, kind of." You smiled before grabbing the next card. "Funny that you say that because this card is The World." Once again, you allowed Matty to take the card to inspect. "This is comforting to know that I am succeeding and accomplishing things in my life. I'm glad that one isn't reversed." "Why?" Matty questioned, handing the card back to you. “What would that mean?” "That I was failing." You spoke softly, picking up the next card. Matty winced, remembering once again the nasty words he had said to you the other day. "And finally, this is The Lovers card." "Well that sounds straightforward." Matty chuckled, accepting the card from you to examine. "It is." You sighed. "It signifies relationships and choices. An existing relationship, a temptation of the heart, or a choice of potential partners."

"Potential partner?" Matty questioned, trying not to think about who you were with last night.

"Kian, I guess." You shrugged, not sounding too delighted. "Why would it be him?" Matty tried to not to convey how you mentioning him instantly made his blood boil, willing his jaw not to clench.

"I mean, I just went on a date with him." You explained, eyeing him with suspicion. You knew in your gut that this wasn't right, you had always prided yourself on having good intuition and nothing in you was telling you that this applied to Kian - but you weren't quite sure what or who it applied to. "It's not like I have any other suitors in my life right now. Kind of has to be him."

Matty tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach, trying to blame it on something he ate earlier instead of admitting it was because this card was sounding an awful lot like the universe was rooting for you and Kian to be together, he needed a distraction from the thought. "Okay, my turn."

You nodded, gathering all the cards into one pile and shuffling them around once more, the only sound in the room coming from the cards as neither of you spoke. This time, you placed the deck down and spread them out. "Okay, pick three."

"Excuse me?" Matty's eyebrows furrowed, this was new.

"Pick three cards. Leave them face down and place them in front of you." You explained, smiling softly.

"Okay." Matty hesitated, bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he made his choices carefully. Placing the three cards face down in front of him as instructed, looking up at you with curious eyes.

"Okay, ready?" You asked, scooting closer to him so you could flip the cards over without having to stretch too far. When Matty nodded, you flipped over the first card. "The Hanged Man."

"Oh, come on.” Matty groaned, causing you to laugh. “What the fuck.”

"Stop, you don't even know what it means yet." You giggled, watching as he huffed and picked the card up so he could see the picture better.

"Well, it doesn't sound good." Matty replied, shaking his head as he placed the card back down and awaited his explanation.

"It's not necessarily bad." You tried to comfort. "Accept the consequences of your decisions. The Hanged Man usually indicates a lack of ability to help you through independent action."

Well, now Matty felt rather exposed, clearing his throat and scratching the back of his neck again. "So the universe knows I was being a dick then."

"Oh, she knows everything." You laughed to ease the tension.

"She?" Matty questioned, feeling more at ease seeing you smile and not angry with him anymore.

"Of course." You shrugged, flipping the next card over, your laughter filled the air as Matty curiously looked down at the card before him. "Okay, see now I think the universe is just bullying you."

"Excuse me, is that the fucking Devil?" You throw your head back, your laughter growing louder. "There's just no way that your cards were all flowers and how successful and wonderful you are and mine is The Hanged Man and The Devil." Matty picked up the two cards for emphasis. "Fuck me, I guess. Do I even want to know what it means?"

Once you had calmed yourself down from laughing, you picked the card up and explained to him. "Okay, you know how earlier I said I'm glad The World card wasn't reversed?" Matty nodded his head. "Okay, this card is reversed. It basically means it's just not upright when it flipped over. Reversed cards have different meanings than upright cards."

"How do you remember all of this?" Matty's head hadn't stopped spinning the entire time he's been in here. "There is so much to remember with all of this, names of crystals and their properties and now this? All these cards and there’s several meanings for each card, there’s no way."

"It's a lot of practice and studying." You explained. "I enjoy it though."

"I can tell." The two of you shared a smile. "Okay, lay it on me, fuck.""The Devil in reverse suggests that you enjoy creating chaos and resistance for no particular reason. Your motive may be vengeance or you are simply being an irritant." You explained with a raised eyebrow, titling your head to the side with a smug smile. “I mean, you are an Aries.”

"Fuck you." Matty laughed. "Is that what it really means?"

"I'm being serious. The universe is literally on my side." You smiled cheekily, laughing when Matty raised his middle finger up in the air once again. 

"So, let me get this right." Matty leaned forward, pointing at the cards. "According to these cards, I'm the devil and you're a perfect little angel?"

"More or less, yeah." Trying to suppress your laughter as Matty brought his hands to his face, rubbing it aggressively.

"I don't like tarot." His claim was muffled by his hands. "This is not fun like you said it would be.

"Oh, this is very fun for me." You assured, tapping his knee to get his attention. "Come on, you have one more card left, pay attention."

"If it's the death card, I'm leaving." Matty tried to joke, but truly was nervous of that being his final card. "Shut up." Your head shook as you flipped the final card, the air being knocked out of your lungs as you revealed what it was.

"Hey, you got that one, which one was that again?" Matty's voice was full of cheer, knowing that if it was a card you had also gotten, then it had to be a good one.

"The Lovers." Your voice is much quieter than it had been all night.

Why would you both pull this card?

"What, so now the universe is telling me I'm supposed to be with Kian?" Matty's joke thankfully had pulled you out of the weird funk that seeing that card had put you in, laughter pouring out of both of you.

"You are such an idiot and I hate you." You spoke through laughter. "No, not Kian, but someone.” You drew out, reaching out your foot to kick against his own. “I don't know, you know the women in your life better than I do.” You shrug. “Who's the lucky lady?" Your attempt at a tease would soon come and bite you in the ass. 

Matty forced a laugh. "No one."

"Oh, come on, don't hold out on me." You tease. "You can't seriously tell me there's no women in your life right now.” You roll your eyes, not believing him for a second. “No past hookups? Ex girlfriends?” You narrow your eyes. “No one you're even slightly interested in?"

Matty was quiet for a beat, staring at you for what felt like hours but in reality was only a few seconds, his heart racing in fear that maybe the crystals in the store had given you the power to read his mind. "No, there's no one." "I'm sorry, I just don't believe you." You weren't convinced, he was hiding something. You could feel it. Matty rolled his eyes, staring down at his lap. "This card is all about love. The scary, overwhelming feelings, the butterflies. All that jazz, you know?” You explain, kicking your foot softly against his own once more. “Who is she? The cards don't lie."

"I don't have anyone in my life right now.” Matty shrugged. “Just clients, my sister," His dark eyes reached yours once more, filled with nerves as he mumbled. "You."

The longer his dark eyes bored into your own the thicker the air in the room felt, growing harder to breathe with each passing second. Matty sighed, breaking eye contact. "Must be a fluke, I suppose. Doesn't resonate with me, isn't that what you said earlier?" Matty picked the card up, smiling at it but the smile didn't reach his eyes, cursing the universe for nearly exposing him. He was quick to try and change the subject, not wanting you to interrogate him any further. "I think I will buy my sister a deck of cards, I think she'd be interested in this."

Matty avoided eye contact with you as he slid off the counter, raising his arms above his head to stretch his body out, bones cracking filled the silence in the room. Once Matty had his body adjusted, he made his way over to the wall of various decks, you remained on the counter - watching him with curious eyes and an unknown feeling in your stomach. "Does it matter which one I choose? Or do they all do the same thing?"

"Pretty much the same, just different graphics." You replied to Matty's back. You turned your attention away from him while he looked at various decks, trying to find which one his sister would like best. Your eyes fell on The Lovers card once more, hands clammy as you picked it up off the counter, the image of the two cartoons standing next to each other making your throat dry out.

"Jewels?" Matty's voice and sudden presence made you jump, causing the card to fall out of your hand and behind the counter somewhere. You turned your attention towards Matty instead of finding the card, looking at what deck he chose to pick. "I just got the same one you used, I like the pictures on it."

"Okay, yeah, perfect." You took the deck from his hands, sliding off the counter, hesitating before walking over to the section that holds the various tarot decks.

"Where are you going?” Matty's voice carried through the store. “Did I get the wrong thing?" 

"No, you're good, I'm just looking for something." You assured, scanning the shelf next to all of the tarot cards, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as your eyes searched until you found what you were looking for, grabbing the teal book off the shelf.

You smiled as you carried the two items over to him. "Here, take these."

"What is this?" Matty's eyebrows were furrowed together as his eyes strained to read what the cover said in the dim light. "It's a guided tarot journal, it matches the Modern Witch deck." You gave Matty a small smile. "It's on me, both of them. Tell your sister I said Happy Birthday." "Jewels, you don't have to do that, I told you I would pay." Dark eyes filled with something foreign as he stared down at you, gripping the tarot deck and journal tightly in his hands.

"It's on me, seriously." You promised, smiling softly, "I feel kind of bad that my tarot deck bullied you, consider it my apology gift." Bringing your hand up to touch the base of the necklace Matty had bought for you, the pendant seemed to burn against your fingertips. "I deserved it." Matty smiled softly, another one that didn't reach his eyes. "I really am sorry for what I said the other day."

"I know." You nodded, not wanting to think about what happened ever again, you had moved past it. "It's okay, I promise.” You smile softly, squeezing the pendant of the necklace. “I forgive you." Matty nodded, a more genuine smile spreading across his face. "I'll tell my sister the journal is from you, but I'm taking credit for the tarot cards."

"Of course, I never doubted you for a second." You laughed breathlessly, thankful that he always seemed to ease the tension with a joke. "She'll see right through you." "Oh, I'm sure she will." Matty agreed with a soft laugh, watching as you went behind the counter to grab your tote bag and started to walk towards the front door of the shop, Matty followed blindly. "Thank you, by the way."

"You don't have to thank me." You sighed, unlocking the door so the two of you could step outside, waiting for the door to close before sliding the key into the lock and twisting it, pulling on the door handle to make sure it was locked up before turning around to face him.

"Well, I am." Matty shrugged. "Thank you. For everything. For forgiving me, for helping me, for tonight." Matty rambled, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "I had fun."

"Yeah, me too." You agreed, smiling softly at the tattooed man above you. "Let me know what Poppy says about the deck and journal, okay?"

"Yeah, I will." Matty nodded, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and staring at you with a gaze that made you not even miss the jacket you had forgotten inside, despite the wind blowing your hair behind you. Your stomach flipped as his eyes gleamed, a faint rosy color tinted his cheeks, you blamed it on the cool air outside. "What?" You finally asked after a long pause of silence, no malice behind the word, just curiosity for why he was looking at you the way he was. "I just-" Matty cleared his throat, looking away from you and running a hand through his hair.

Your heart rate grew in speed when Matty's dark eyes landed on you once more before taking a step towards you. You were glued to your spot, standing on the welcome mat of your metaphysical store as Matty leaned in - the smell of his cologne still so strong despite it being the end of the day.

You weren't quite sure what you were expecting to happen, but it wasn't for Matty's arms to be wrapped around you, pulling you in closer to him. It took a split second for you to realize he was hugging you, but when you did you found your shaky arms coming to envelop him too. You were buried between the lapels of his leather jacket, just short enough that his chin rested perfectly on top of your head. You couldn't breathe under here, but not due to the lack of airflow, no that wasn't the issue.

"Goodnight, Jewels." Matty spoke quietly, squeezing you one last time. And if you weren't so in tune with him you might have missed the feeling of him softly kissing the top of your head. “Be careful driving home, okay?”

Then as quickly as you were wrapped up in him, he was gone. He didn't wait for a response before turning on his heels and making his way to the parking lot, not even turning around once to look at you.

The cold wind of the night seemed to feel like ice against the skin that the tattooed boy had just warmed. "Goodnight." You whispered to no one, Matty was long gone. You were glued to your spot. The only thing pulling you from your daze was the sound of a motorcycle engine revving up, your eyes spotting the taillights from a distance - ones that you knew belonged to Matty.

You finally released the breath you felt like you had been holding in for ages, tightening the strap of your tote bag, the action causing the keys to fall from your hands. "Shit." You mumbled to yourself, leaning down to grab the keys off the concrete floor, your heart skipping a beat at what you found on the way down.

Stuck to the bottom of your shoe - The Lovers card.

You should have laughed. What are the odds? This had to be some sick and twisted joke. But you knew. Deep down you knew. You were never one to believe in coincidences.

"Fuck me."

—

"Can you explain to me one more time why you're doing this?" Carmen voiced from the middle of your bed, staring down at you sitting on the floor with tarot cards in your hands with inquisitive eyes. "Didn't you just tell me that you did a reading on yourself a few hours ago with Matty?"

"Yeah, I did." You sighed. "But I'm doing it again because it has to be a mistake.” You explained, shuffling the cards between your palms, desperate to be proven wrong. “I'm just making sure."

Once you finally got yourself to move from your spot outside your front door - still stunned by the warmth of Matty's arms wrapped around you, you found yourself dialing your friend's phone number before you could even get the door to your car closed. You needed a distraction, some company, something. Anything to make you feel more sane than you felt right now.

"You're ridiculous." Carmen sighed, shifting herself to be closer to the edge of your bed so she could watch at a better angle. "And superstitious. A tarot card was stuck to the bottom of your shoe, so what? Big deal. I get shopping receipts stuck to the bottom of my shoes all the time and I don't take that as a sign to go shopping more."

"Yes, you do?" Looking over at your best friend through furrowed eyebrows. "You literally think any money being deposited in your account is a sign to go shopping."

"Okay, anyways." Carmen drew out with a roll of her eyes. "Would it really be so bad if it did mean what you're assuming it does?"

"Yes." The answer was short and sweet, not having the energy to voice the reasoning behind why you and Matty would never work. 

"But why?" Carmen questioned for what felt like the millionth time, starting to get on your nerves and you were slowly regretting inviting her over. "He's hot, he's tall, he’s funny. What's not to love?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that he intentionally spilled coffee on me once? And blamed it on me? Or the time he parked his motorcycle across the only two parking spots in the lot when it was pouring rain, leaving me to walk even further during the storm. I was soaked." Your voice grew more irritated the more you spoke. "And let's not forget the fact of that same day when the rain stopped, I was outside carrying inventory in and he was coming back from lunch and he intentionally swerved his fucking motorcycle to hit the puddle next to me - causing me to be soaked again."

"Okay, well I didn't say he was perfect." Carmen rolled her eyes, shrugging, hands up in defense. "But what about the time he bought you coffee? When he was leaned up outside of your store waiting on you?" You were already rolling your eyes. "And don't forget that he bought you that necklace. You know, the one dangling around your neck right now." The Tiger's eye pendant seemed to burn against your skin at the mention. "He hugged you. An hour ago he wrapped you in his arms, held you tight and kissed the top of your head.” Carmen reminded you, as if you could have forgotten. “That means something."

"All those 'nice' times were all his way of apologizing for him being mean." You remind, continuing to shuffle the deck. "That doesn't count. And it doesn't mean anything other than the fact that he had a guilty conscience and was trying to make himself feel better." You weren't really sure who you were trying to convince at this point. "And I probably imagined him kissing my head, he would never do that."

"Oh, please.” Carmen groaned. “Will you listen to yourself? If the roles were reversed and I was in this much denial, you would slap me." She pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "I think you're just searching for any reason to not admit that you like him."

You ignored Carmen in favor of shuffling the cards faster, laying them down in front of you and fanning them out like you had done with Matty, allowing your intuition to choose the cards. You took a deep breath before carefully choosing your cards, leaving them face down in front of you, staring at the backs of them for longer than you thought considering the impatient sigh that came from your friend.

"Well, turn them over already, I'm ready to get this over with so we can watch The Notebook or something." Carmen groaned, your friend had always had little to no patience.

You took one more deep breath, choosing to close your eyes before flipping the three cards over, allowing a beat to pass before opening them up to see what had been pulled, your stomach dropping at the sight.

"Okay, what do they say? You know I can't read from up here." Carmen asked, trying to lean down to get a closer look.

"The Empress." Your voice was quiet, shifting your eyes to the other card. "And The Lovers."

You ignored the third card, the other two were far more important. The sight of The Lovers card for the fourth time in one night was enough to make your head spin, unable to process that Carmen was questioning what the cards meant, your friend too impatient to wait for your explanation and choosing to google the meaning on her own instead.

"Okay, here we go." Carmen cleared her throat, holding her phone close to her face and squinting as she read from the screen. "The Empress. Let higher love find its way to you. Whatever your current relationship situation is, this is a sign that a gentle, nurturing transition will bring about a deeper understanding of the potential of caring intimacy."

Your ears were ringing, unable to take your eyes off of the two cards before you as Carmen continued to google the next card.

"The Lovers. If you receive the Lovers, there is a relationship in your life that could soon become more intimate. This card is a sign that you can make your feelings and intentions clear with confidence that they will be reciprocated." Carmen laughed softly while locking her phone and throwing it to the side. "I fucking knew it. He likes you."

The claim was enough to shake you out of your trance, shaking your head while gathering the cards back up and placing them back in their box, vowing to not touch them again for a while. "You're wrong."

"Are you serious?” Carmen scoffed. “Did you not just hear what I read? He's totally into you.” You continued to shake your head as your friend spoke, refusing to buy into it. Carmen shrugged. “It makes sense when you really sit back and think about it." "No, it doesn't." You laughed, but it was tense. "You don't belittle someone if you like them."

"If you're a man, you do." Carmen counteracted. "That's literally Men 101, if they're bullying you it means they secretly like you." She was just repeating what every girl had been told growing up. "Kind of a toxic thing to be taught though, when you really look at it."

You hated that she was making sense right now. Because she was right. If you really sit down and think about it, it gives the perfect explanation as to why Matty's feelings towards you seemed to shift overnight. When you first met him, you swore there had been a few times that he had been flirting with you, comments that he had made to give you that impression, faint touches that warmed the skin, lingering stares. But when the kind words turned cold you had just told yourself you were being delusional and forgot about them. But now..

"No." You whispered to yourself, turning to Carmen and making your voice louder. "Nope!"

"Come on, this-"

"Carmen, I love you, I do." You were quick to cut your friend off, standing up from your place on the floor and walking over to your bed to sit down next to her. "But please, let it go."

"Fine." Carmen groaned. "I just want you to be happy, that's all."

"I am happy." You spoke with a soft smile, despite all the thoughts in your head. You could feel pressure on the bottom of your foot, reaching down to discover what the reasoning behind it was, your heart dropping at the sight of The Lovers card yet again stuck to the bottom of your foot. You felt as though you were in the middle of the world's biggest cosmic joke right now. You grabbed the pillow that was behind you and brought it up and over your face, screaming into the cushion and refusing to see how Carmen was looking at you right now.

You tried to convince yourself it held no significance, but after seeing the tarot card for the fifth time in one night, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed and it was getting harder and harder to ignore that all signs seemed to be pointing towards the man you have loathed since he opened up shop next to you a year ago.

—

"Oh, this is so cool." Poppy gleamed, flipping through the pages of the tarot journal. "Thank you so much, you did not have to do all of this for me." Sunday came around faster than the blink of an eye and Matty was grateful for it. He was happy to have a distraction from the thoughts that had been keeping him up at night all weekend long, ready to get some fresh air after being holed up in his apartment for days. It was almost like Poppy had read his mind when she had suggested they go to a little cafe that had outdoor seating for her birthday brunch.

"Yes, I did." Matty rolled his eyes playfully. "You've done a lot for me, always been there for me, I wanted to show my appreciation."

"Ew, okay, enough sentiment." Poppy faked a gag, laughing as she placed the items back into the gift bag that Matty had brought it all in. "Thank you, I love everything."

"Yeah, well, I can't take credit for it all." Matty admitted, hands raised up in defense at his sister who was already looking at him with knowing eyes. "I had a little bit of help with the cards. And the journal is from Y/N, by the way. She told me to tell you she said Happy Birthday." "Oh, I figured." Poppy giggled. “There’s no way you could have picked this stuff out on your own.”

Matty’s mouth dropped in faux offense. “Wow, I’m so glad to know that you have such little faith in me.”

Poppy rolled her eyes, snorting before raising an eyebrow at him. "So, you two are on speaking terms now? That's new."

"Eh." Matty shrugged, bringing a hand to the back of his neck as his head shook softly. "I suppose you could say that."

"Well don't hold out on me, how did that happen?" Poppy spoke with wide eyes, leaning forward on the table with her head in the palm of her hand. "I never thought the war between the two of you would end? It's always been so bad."

"Well, it was for a while." Matty explained with a huff. "It got really bad recently, I said some things I didn't mean - some really hurtful things."

"Matty-"

"I know, I know, but I've apologized and we've kind of moved past it?" Matty spoke like he was unsure. "I think so anyway? I don't know. I-I haven't seen her in a few days, I've kind of been avoiding her."

"Okay, well I need you to tell me everything." Poppy decided, searching for their waiter in the crowd of people and flagging them down. "It's a long story-"

"Oh, I know, that's why I'm ordering us drinks." Poppy smiled.

"Drinks that I'm paying for by the way." Matty reminded with a pointed look on his face that Poppy shrugged in response with a gleaming smile. Matty rolled his eyes, it was her birthday after all. "You better get to looking at the drink menu fast, he's on his way over." 

Matty couldn't help but shake his head at his younger sister, accepting the drink menu from her to make his choice before the waiter arrived. Matty waited until the waiter made his way back with their drinks before sighing and explaining almost everything that had gone down between the two of you for the last few months - trying to remember all the parts so he wouldn't have to back track. By the time he finished, Poppy was fixing him with a face that showed nothing but disappointment.

"Go ahead and say it." Matty let out a huff accompanied by an eye roll, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're a dick." He knew those words were coming, but they still hurt. "Mom would be so-"

"Yeah, I know, we don't have to bring her into this." Matty snapped back harsher than he meant to, sighing while running a hand over his face. "Sorry, I just-"

"Look, can I say something to you that you might not like? And you promise you won't get mad at me?" Matty shrugged and brought his hand out to her to gesture for her to continue, bringing it back to his chest so he could wrap his arms around himself tightly. "Have you ever sat back and thought about why you even hate her so much? I mean, do you even have a reason?" Poppy took the silence coming from her brother as a sign to keep talking. "I mean, that first day you were telling me about her, you spoke about her as if she hung the fucking moon. What the hell happened?"

Matty was quiet, his hands occupied with the task of twirling a fork around, dark eyes staring at how the sun reflected on the fork as he moved it around. Something was gnawing at him, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, he just knew it was the same feeling that kept his head whirling all weekend. Poppy watched her brother with a sympathetic smile, reaching over the table to place her hand over the one that was holding the fork, effectively stopping the motion and bringing his eyes to meet hers. "You like her, don't you?"

Matty dropped his eyes again, looking to the side and watching all the cars drive by, feeling the wind from them as they did so. He brought his hand up to his mouth, looking deep in thought before shaking his head and finally turning back to face his sister. "No, I don't like her." dark eyes falling to the white table cloth that flowed in the wind and basked in the sun, finding a loose thread to pick up as he found the courage to continue speaking. "I think I lo-"

"Shut up, stop talking." Poppy spoke over him, voice rushed and panicked with wide eyes looking over his shoulder.

"What?" Matty questioned with furrowed brows, starting to look over his shoulder but not making it very far before Poppy was yelling at him again.

"Stop, don't turn around?" Her voice in a whisper yell as her hand came out to slap his arm in punishment. “Why would you turn around?”

"Ow, what the fuck, Poppy?" Matty groaned, ignoring the side eye he received from a mother across from them, dramatically covering her child’s ears, Matty rolled his eyes at the sight. "What's going on?"

Poppy ignored him in favor of smiling and waving at whoever was approaching. Matty continued to stare at his sister in confusion, following her order and not turning around. "Y/N!" Matty's stomach dropped as your name fell from his sister's lips, his body shifting in his seat to sit up more straight as he prayed his sister would look at him to see the wide eyes on his own face trying to signal her to not call you over there. His efforts were deemed useless considering only a few seconds later you were standing at the side of their table with a smile on your face. Matty glanced up at you, giving you a tight smile in return before focusing his attention back on the tablecloth in front of him. "I thought that was you, what a small world."

"Yeah, yeah, small world." You agreed, glancing over at the boy clad in leather and avoiding eye contact with you. "Hey, Matty."

Matty cursed the way that his name sounded coming from you had his stomach in knots, he didn't turn to face you, just lifted his hand off the table to give a half-assed wave. Thankful for his sister for speaking in his absence. "How are you doing? I haven't seen you in so long!" "Yeah." Matty could feel your eyes lingering on him, almost like you were waiting for him to actually speak to you instead of just waving, but ultimately giving up and turned your attention on Poppy. Matty felt like he could breathe a little better now. "Yeah, it's been so long. I've been good and you?" "Oh, I'm good, yeah." Poppy nodded, Matty glanced up at her at the same Poppy glanced over at him. "We're just out for my birthday lunch right now."

"Yeah, Matty mentioned that to me the other day." The feeling of your eyes on him returned, making Matty feel like he was getting more of a burn from them than he had been getting from the sun all afternoon.

"Thank you for the journal by the way." Poppy spoke up once again, lightly kicking her brother's leg under the table, Matty’s eyes shooting up to hers at the feeling. "That was very nice of you."

"Oh, you're welcome." Your eyes back on Poppy, a small smile on your face. You lingered, waiting to see if Matty was going to speak to you, or even look at you for that matter, feeling a low simmering anger in your stomach when he did neither. "Well, I better get going, so.."

You hadn't even made it two steps away from the table before Poppy was yelling out, "Wait!" Her words caused Matty to kick his sister back under the table, staring at her with wide eyes. What the fuck was she doing? "Why don't you come sit for a minute? I'd love to catch up."

Matty could feel your eyes on him once more, he assumed you were waiting on him to agree that he wanted you there, but he was too busy staring at Poppy with wide eyes, ones that she returned. "I would love to, but I'm running late."

"Oh, that's okay!" Poppy turned her eyes back on you, kicking Matty under the table once again while shooting you a bright, wide smile. "I'm sorry for keeping you held up. I just wanted to say hello."

"No, you're fine!" Matty hated that you were always so nice and understanding. Why couldn't you just throw a drink in his face and go on about your day? "It was nice to see you too, Poppy." Matty didn't miss the way you purposefully excluded him in that, that gnawing feeling came rushing back in his head. "I wish I could stay, but Kian is waiting for me, so."

Matty didn't feel your eyes on him this time, but the fire from which you delivered the other guy's name told Matty that everything he needed to know. His mouth was opening before he even had time to register that he was probably about to make things even worse, finally looking at you for the first time since you first walked up - his heart clenching at the sight. "You're going out with him again?"

"Oh, look at that, he can speak!" You laughed in a mocking way, cutting your eyes at him as you shook your head, taking in a deep breath before looking back at Poppy with a forced smile. "It was nice to see you, but I have to go."

And you were gone before Poppy or him had the chance to protest this time. Matty brought his hands over his face, scrubbing hard before dropping his head to the table out of frustration. He knew he had just fucked everything up. Again. His sister voiced exactly what he was feeling.

"You're such a fucking idiot." Poppy laughed in disbelief.

"Yeah," Matty's agreement was muffled due to his face being down on the table. "I know."

—

Matty and Poppy parted ways soon after, he wasn't really in the mood for celebration anymore. His thoughts gnawed at him, eating him alive as he walked down the street towards the direction of where he parked his motorcycle. He didn't understand why you affected him the way that you did. He's pissed off more girls than he could count in his lifetime and he never cared. So why were you any different? What made you so special?

Matty's thoughts came to a halt, swearing that he heard his name being called down the street. He shrugged, continuing to walk, he made it a few steps further before he heard it again, glancing over his shoulder this time and fist involuntarily clenching at the sight. "Oh, for fucks sake." He mumbled, quickly facing forward and picking up the pace of his steps, but it didn't take long for the voice to catch up to him.

"Matty! Matty, hey man!" Kian panted softly through a laugh. "You're a fast walker." Matty nodded firmly in response, continuing to walk. "Hey, wait up!" Matty sighed before stopping in his tracks, turning around to face him with what he was sure was an annoyed look on his face. "Hey, I've been waiting to catch you at Vienna, but I haven't seen you in a few days." He paused to wait for an explanation, but when Matty didn't give him one, Kian continued. "I haven't heard back from you about making an appointment for my tattoo? Just wanted to make sure you hadn't forgot about me." Kian wasn't insinuating anything with his words, he was actually being rather nice to Matty, which was surprising because Matty has never returned the sentiment back to him. He kind of felt bad, he knew Kian never necessarily did anything to him, but he was an accomplice. An enemy in Matty's eyes. One thought of you sitting in his car was enough for Matty to speak up. "Yeah, I uh- I'm sorry, man. I don't think this is gonna work out."

"Huh?" Kian laughed uncomfortably, trying to decipher if Matty was messing with him or not, his back straightening when he realized Matty wasn't joking at all. "You're being serious?"

"I am." Matty replied firmly. "I don't think I'm the right guy for you. For this tattoo, I'm sorry."

"I literally told you the other day that I had done a bunch of research of my own and that I was certain that you were the right guy for this tattoo, so I'm just confused." Kian's head tilted to the side and his eyes squinted. "So what's this really about?"

"I can refer you to a friend of mine, his work is really-" "This is because of her, isn't it?" Kian cut him off with a bitter laugh. "I should have known."

Matty stood up a little straighter, jutting his chin out, daring him to speak your name. "Who?"

"Y/N." Kian laughed again, running his hand through his hair. "That's what this whole thing is about, isn't it? That's why you don't like me?"

Matty stared at him for a beat, anger coursing throughout his veins the longer he stared at the blonde. "You know what?” Matty laughed bitterly. “Yeah, it is." He nodded with venom on his tongue, tilting his head to the side with narrowed eyes and a biting tongue. "I don't like the two of you together."

"Can you get over yourself?" Kian laughed maniacally, staring at Matty like he was crazy. "Why are you taking your hatred for her out on me? Just because we went on a date or two doesn’t mean that should put me in the middle of whatever fucking war the two of you have going on. That's not fair to me."

"Oh, it's not fair?" Matty whispered through a laugh of his own, shaking his head and staring up at the sky. "You don't get it." "I don't need to get it!" Kian argued. "I don't need you to explain to me why you hate her so much, I don't care about that. Why can't we both be adults and realize that your feelings towards her have nothing to do with me?"

Matty chuckled, lowering his gaze to meet Kian's, shaking his head. "You're just as dumb as she is, man."

"Excuse me?" Kian's tone and body language shifted, enough to tell Matty that he needed to finish this before Kian did something he would soon live to regret, Matty didn’t feel like getting physical today. It wouldn’t be much of a fair fight, he’d have Kian on the floor in seconds. 

"I have the right to refuse business to anyone I please." Matty spoke calmly despite the anger bubbling in his stomach.

"Then I have the right to do the same." Kian countered, referencing the coffee shop Matty assumed. "It'll be much more pleasant seeing Y/N every morning without you lingering behind her."

Matty nodded, trying to calm himself down, he had no plans to return to the coffee shop anyway. But your name falling from Kian's mouth had his heart rate picking up and fist involuntarily clenching once again. Matty continued to nod, looking around at his surroundings, trying to remember where he parked his motorcycle. In his search for the metal, his eyes found you. Of course they did. If Matty didn't have wonderful vision, he wouldn't have even seen you, sitting on a bench in the distance on your phone. Once he realized that you were most likely sitting there waiting for the man standing in front of you. Matty looked away, turning his focus back on Kian, giving the blonde a tight smile while cracking his knuckles before rearing back and landing a punch right across Kian's face.

"What the fuck?" Kian cried out, holding his face in his hands, bent over on the sidewalk.

Matty rolled his eyes at the dramatics, shaking his hand as he scanned for his motorcycle again, he'd be damned if his eyes didn't land on you once more in the process. But this time, you were staring back at him. Matty chuckled, shaking his head before finally locating his motorcycle across the street, allowing his legs to carry him towards it without another glance towards you or Kian. Swinging a leg over his bike and not even bothering to take the time to put his helmet on his head before driving off, allowing the blood on his knuckles to dry in the wind.

—

Matty didn't drive home, he couldn't drive home. He knew as soon as he was alone with nothing but his thoughts he'd go crazy. No, he needed to keep his mind busy. He found himself turning down the familiar street he would drive down nearly every day, the one that led to 102 Tattoo.

He pulled into the parking lot, turned the key in the ignition of his bike off and sat there, staring at the nearly empty lot around him, almost all of the shops on the strip were closed on Sundays. He sighed, pulling the key out and glanced down at his hand, turning it in different directions so he could see the dried blood on it. He couldn't help but smile to himself, shaking his head before swinging himself off the bike and making his way down the sidewalk and towards his tattoo shop.

He almost never came in here on Sunday, deeming it his one day of rest, he wasn't even sure what he was expecting to do with himself now, he just knew he'd rather be here than anywhere else. Flicking the light on in the studio and tossing his keys to the side, not even bothering to lock the front door since no one was hanging around here anyways. Matty sighed, staring at the empty room before him while bringing his arms above his head to stretch, once again catching sight of the dried up red on his hands that he realized he should probably clean off.

Matty hummed to himself as he made his way towards the bathroom at the back of the shop, flicking the light on and turning the hot water knob on so it could start warming up as he stared at himself in the mirror. He fixed what few stray hairs had fallen out of place on the drive over here, leaning in closer and running his one clean hand along his face, noting to himself that he should probably shave soon. He noticed the steam coming from the sink below him and realized he had given it more than enough time to heat up, turning the cold water knob slightly on to make it the perfect temperature before placing his hands beneath the stream.

He sighed, wetting his palms before pumping a few drops of soap into them, spreading the suds around his hands and scrubbing rather hard to make sure to get all of Kian's blood off of him, wanting no trace of the blonde left on him. Watching the evidence go down the drain, Matty allowed his thoughts to take over.

Sure, maybe it was immature and a dumb move to punch another grown man over essentially nothing, but Matty had his reasons. He didn't even necessarily have a problem with the barista, it wasn't his fault that he got dragged into the middle of this. Whatever it was that this was. Matty didn't even know. He was so confused. He was so lost. All he knew was that nobody has ever driven Matty quite as crazy as you have. You were the only person that made him mad quicker than a flash of lightning, someone who could make him laugh at the drop of a hat, a girl that he has not stopped thinking about since the first day he had met you.

It was overwhelming, really. The first time he saw you. He nearly folded right then and there. Literally. He almost tumbled off the ladder the first time his eyes landed on you, so overwhelmed by the sight that his own legs couldn’t hold him steady any longer. Matty couldn't help but give himself a pity laugh standing now at the sink remembering that day, washing down the blood of the boy occupying your time.

And really, that's what the issue was. Yes, he was a nice guy, but what made Kian so special? He was just an average looking blonde guy who served coffee in a boring brown apron. He was nothing to write home about. And the most annoying part is that you agreed. 

Or so he thought.

That day he found the coffee cup discarded in your trash can and the two of you had shared a laugh about how you only flirted with Kian for the free coffee, Matty couldn't help but feel relieved. But then you were turning around and going out on a date with him, it was confusing. Why were you choosing to spend your time with a man you didn't even like? It made no sense to him.

Matty found himself shaking his head, grabbing a few paper towels to dry his hands with and gave himself one last look in the mirror, smiling to himself in a victorious way. The sound of the chimes falling against his front door loudly banging had his eyebrows furrowing for a split second before falling back into place, he sighed, he didn't even have to peek out from the doorframe to know who was coming inside. The speed at which it had been opened and judging by how loudly the chimes were still ringing told Matty all he needed to know.

"Well, it took you long enough." Matty spoke loudly, voice echoing off the small bathroom walls as he turned the light off before exiting. Walking out into the open area of his tattoo shop, his eyes immediately fall to you standing in the middle of it, arms crossed with eyes full of a glare that he was thankful couldn't kill.

"What the fuck is your problem?" The heat in your tone matched the one behind your eyes.

"Did you get stuck in traffic, or?" Matty tried to joke to ease the tension, walking closer to you but not too close in fear of what you might do to him if he got close enough, crossing his arms over his chest and giving you a sly smile. "We should have carpooled."

"Oh, so this is a joke to you?" Disgust written all over your face, scoffing. "I can't believe you right now."

"Oh, what, Jewels?" Matty laughed, trying not to let his anger boil over. He didn't want to take it out on you. Not this time. Not anymore. "What's the matter?" "Don't call me that." Narrowing your eyes, clenching your jaw, glaring at the tattooed boy.

"Go on, lay it on me.” Dark eyes rolled as Matty released an over dramatic sigh. “I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

Your eyes squinted as your head shook in what Matty could only assume was disappointment. "You don't even feel sorry at all, do you?"

"No, I don't." Matty shrugged, squinting his eyes back at you. "Why should I?"

"Matty, you just punched a man. In the middle of the street?" You laughed in astonishment at how casual he was being about all of this. "And over what? Because he told you he wouldn't serve you coffee anymore?” You stared at him in bewilderment, scoffing. “Grow the fuck up."

"Oh my god, I feel like my head is going to explode." Matty murmured, bringing one of hands up to massage one of his temples, dark eyes piercing your own. "You can't really believe this is what this is all over, right?"

"Oh, well I'm not sure what I believe." Tone full of sarcasm. "I don't even know if I have the ability to think for myself." You laughed with a raised eyebrow. "Because I'm too dumb, right?"

Matty winced, cursing Kian for telling you what he had said, feeling the need to jump on his motorcycle and get a few more blows in on him. Matty sighed, eyes apologetic. "Jewels, you know I didn't mean it like that, I-"

"I told you not to call me that." You interrupted him, straightening your back and hugging your crossed arms tighter across your chest.

"This is all just a big misunderstanding." Matty tried to defend, hoping he wouldn't have to explain himself any further, wishing you'd just take that as enough explanation and start smiling at him again. "Alright, fine, I'll humor you. What is it then?" Matty's response was furrowed brows and a tilted head. "You said it's not that, so what is it? Why did you punch him?"

"I am not having this conversation with you." Matty chuckled, shaking his head and moving to walk around you, more towards where the tattoo chair sat. He could hear the sound of your feet following behind him. "You don't even like him, I don't know why you care." "Just because I don't like him doesn't- " "Finally!" Matty interrupted you to cheer, stopping in his tracks in front of the tattoo chair and turning around to face you again. "Finally you admit that you don't like him. Jesus Christ, it's like fucking pulling teeth around here." You huffed out of annoyance, starting your sentence over. "Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I want him to get mistreated."

Matty felt like he was going crazy and laughed to match it. "Oh, so now I'm mistreating him?"

"You are!" Your voice grew in volume. "You punched him Matty and for what?" At this point you were on the brink of yelling, talking with your hands to help get the point across. "What the fuck was the reason? Why do you hate him so much?"

"Jewels-"

"Call me that one more fucking time." You spoke through a clenched jaw, eyes on fire. Matty should have been embarrassed by how intimidated he was by that.

"Y/N-"

“Please fucking tell me because I'm pretty sure he's just as clueless as I am." You interrupted once more and caused Matty to clench his fist. "I can't if you won't let me fucking speak." Matty's voice growing in volume now. "You always do this, you pick a fight with me and then won't let me fucking defend myself." "Don't act like you didn't start this, don't try to start putting the blame on me." Pointing a finger at him with squinted eyes, huffing before wrapping your arms around yourself once more. "Okay, talk. Defend yourself. Let's fucking hear it." Matty stared at you for a beat. Or two. Or three. Trying to collect his thoughts and stop himself from word vomiting. He didn't want to accidentally say too much, but he also knew his patience was wearing very thin, it always did when the two of you fought like this. He didn't know how much he had left in him before he snapped. Matty sighed, running a sweaty palm through his hair and shrugging. "It's complicated." "Oh, it's complicated?" You were laughing again, bringing your own hands up to your temples to massage them, feeling a massive headache coming on due to the fact that this conversation was going absolutely nowhere. "You bitched at me not letting you speak, not letting you 'defend yourself' and that's all that you could come up with?" You mocked him, putting air quotes around some of the words, walking closer to him, close enough to notice his clenched jaw twitching. "What's so complicated about a morning coffee? If you don't like him, then why keep going to Vienna? That's the only time you ever see him so what gives?" The silence in the room did nothing to lower your anger, only heightening it. "I'm giving you the opportunity to explain yourself, Matty. I'm listening." Your voice was quieter now, staring at the tattooed boy with eyes full of emotion, desperate for the man in front of you to just speak. "Is it because of me?" "God, you're so fucking conceited." Matty laughed, trying to deflect from the fact that your question had his heart starting to race. "Not everything is about you, the world doesn't fucking revolve around you!" "Stop it, you know that's not what I think." The hurt in your voice had Matty feeling guilty, he knew this wasn't true. You were the most selfless person he knew. He was just trying to find a way to get under your skin like you were doing to him. "What is it then? Because I know this attitude against him isn't because he got your coffee order wrong one time." Matty had to bite his tongue to stop himself from blurting the truth, trying to change the subject again before he slipped up. "It happened more than once." "Will you stop trying to change the subject?" He should have known you would see right through him. "I'm not as dumb as you think, I know that's not why you don't like him. So what is it? What's the reason?" "I don't think you're dumb." Matty mumbled, heart racing and palms sweaty. "Matty, I'm begging you to stop changing the subject." Your voice is desperate, running a hand of your own through your hair, huffing. "Please just talk to me, tell me what the fuck happened." "Leave it alone." Matty mumbled the warning through grit teeth, turning around to try and distract himself by adjusting the settings on the tattoo chair in front of him. However, it didn't last long, almost as soon as Matty turned around, your hands were on his shoulder turning him back to face you. "Why can't you just fucking man up and tell me that you don't like him because of me?" Your eyes were wide and voice pleading. "Come on, you said earlier that you were a big boy, fucking admit it." Bringing your hands up to his chest in an attempt to shove the dark haired man, but Matty caught your wrist on its way up, gripping tightly.

"You're delusional.” Matty seethed before releasing your wrist and throwing your hand to the side. “Why would this have anything to do with you?" "Because you hate me!" You cried out, hating that your eyes were in fact starting to fill with tears. “You always have.” Matty couldn't help but laugh at the fact that you couldn't be any farther from the truth. "You know, for you to claim to have a third eye, you sure are fucking blind." "What did I ever do to you?" You pleaded, swallowing the lump in your throat and begging the tears to not fall from your eyes, too focused on that to notice what Matty had said. "I have tried and tried and tried with you, Matty. And I don't fucking understand why it never works." "What are you going on about right now?" Matty's voice grew in agitation as he fixed you with a face plastered in confusion. "I have tried so hard to get along with you." You laughed breathlessly, bringing a hand up to rub against your forehead. "And you're just - you're so - UGH!" Matty's eyebrows furrowed deeper at your exclaim, taking a step closer to you with narrowed eyes and a dark tone. "I'm so what?" "Indecisive!" You yelled, finally allowing your anger to take over and release itself. "You are so fucking wishy-washy with me. One day you’re being nice and laughing with me and the next you’re making me cry.” Matty’s stomach rolled at the reminder that he had made you cry. Several times. “From the day I met you, I have done nothing but walk on eggshells around you and I'm so tired of it." "Indecisive?" Matty repeated through a laugh, shaking his head. "You really are delusional, Jewels." "No, I'm not. Stop trying to gaslight me." The anger inside of you continued to boil up every time the tattooed man spoke. “And stop fucking calling me that.” "Gaslight you?" He repeated once more through a laugh, turning his head up towards the ceiling. "You are-" "One day you're being nice and welcoming and the next you're blaring music and littering outside of my store." You interrupted, watching him as he shook his head up at the ceiling. "One day you're hugging me and the next you won't even look at me." Tone more aggressive that time, referencing how he had blatantly ignored you earlier at the restaurant. That got Matty's eyes on you again. "How did we go from that to this, Matty? I-I don't understand. I never have." "Please, just drop it, Y/N." Matty's voice probably sounded as defeated as he felt. "I can't!" Your voice rose in volume again. "I feel like I deserve an explanation. Something. You have made me feel like this since the day I met you. What gives?" "Y/N-" "Fuck, Matty, what did I do to you?" Your hands collided with his chest in a shove, causing the tall man to stumble back slightly, tears starting to swell in your eyes once more. "Things were so good between us when we met and then all the sudden you were giving me the cold shoulder and starting a war between us." Matty stared down at you with wide eyes and a racing heart. "This past year you've given me nothing but hell and for what?" Hands coming out to shove his chest again. "Y/N, stop." Matty warned, chest starting to burn from you shoving him and aching the sight of a stray tear falling from your eye. "What the fuck did I do to you?" You yelled, not even trying to hold back the tears anymore, bottom lip trembling and voice breaking. "Y/N-"

"Tell me!" You yelled again, shoving his chest once more with more force behind it than before. "Come on, you're a big boy, right?” You mocked through tears, shoving his chest again. “Fucking man up and tell me." "Stop." Matty warned once more, jaw clenched as his heart raced against his rib cage, his ears starting to ring. He could feel his walls tumbling down with each and every shove of his chest. He hated seeing you like this, hated knowing that he was the reason for it, hated that he couldn’t find the courage to tell you how he felt, hated that you couldn’t just open your eyes and see for yourself. "Say it, Matty!" You yelled through a sob, bringing your hands up to shove him one more time, but his hands were catching them in a halt before they made contact, sending shockwaves down your arm at the contact. "I don't hate you." Matty spoke softly through a clenched jaw, towering over you as he tried not to grip your hands too tight, staring down at you with desperate eyes. "Leave it alone." "God, you're such a fucking pussy." You spoke through a laugh, ripping your hands away from his hold. "You can't even admit it."

"I don't-" Matty attempted to defend himself again, but you were quick to interrupt him. Again. "It's fine, Matty. We don't have to be friends, we don't have to talk, we don't have to even look at one another.” You scoff. “I'm done." "Y/N-" "I can't keep trying with you. It's like we take one step forward and three steps back, I don't get it.” Your words made Matty's throat feel dry, heart pounding so intensely that he was surprised he could even hear you still. “You don't like me and that's fine." "That's not how-" Matty felt desperate to get a word in but you wouldn't let him. "But now you're taking it out on Kian and that's just not fair to him at all. He has absolutely nothing to do with this and I just think that you’re being really fucking immature and-"

You would have kept talking, you had more to say, more to get off your chest. But talking was deemed somewhat difficult when your mouth was occupied with something else. Matty’s strong hands warmed your face as he gripped your face and held you in place, his middle and ring finger digging into the pulse point on the side of your neck as his soft pink lips hungrily trapped your own between his. Matty kissed you as if it was the last thing he'd ever do, desperation pouring off of his tongue that had slipped its way into your mouth when you gasped, holding your face impossibly tighter as he kissed you aggressively, pouring out all of the pent up frustration from the past few months into one heated moment. 

If his goal was to shut you up, he had definitely achieved that, sure that you wouldn't even have any words left to say as Matty had taken them all away. You had been frozen in place, allowing Matty to lead the way, the feeling of his lips against your own was enough to make your brain melt. But the feeling of Matty's teeth grazing your bottom lip was enough to make you feel coherent enough to bring your own hands to his neck, allowing your fingers to spread through his dark hair while the kiss started to grow more heated as Matty sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, his teeth tugging it back and soothing the pain with his tongue. You moan into Matty’s mouth as his fingers dig into your jaw, kissing you passionately, as if his life depended on it. However, the feeling of you touching him seemed to wake Matty up out of the daze, his warm hands and lips pulled away from you just as fast as they had been placed there, dark eyes wide in shock as he stumbled backward to put some more space between the two of you. His reaction had your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you took a step towards him. "Matty-" The sound of your voice seemed to break whatever trance he was in, the tattooed boy was quick to turn on his heels and make his way towards the front door, his long legs allowing him to make it in just a few strides. Matty didn't even turn to look at you before grabbing his keys from where he had tossed them earlier and walking out the front door, leaving you to stand alone in astonishment once again.

The sound of the chimes ringing against the glass door as it closed seemed to be the only thing grounding you right now, the memory of Matty's lips against your own was persistent and not fading away as you thought to yourself, what the fuck happens now? 

[forcryingoutlloud]

you're just a stranger I know everything about.

Content warnings; sadness lol, confrontation, crying, a few Taylor references because I am unbearable, swearing, shouting, and just general angst. (no happy ending either oops)

a/n; day 1 of the matty 35 celebration! and what better way to start it than with some teacher au angst?? I know my birthdays always have an air of melancholy, so I feel like this is appropriate. I fear this is rushed and SO bad, but eh, too late now!! anyway, enjoy! maybe? if you can?

word count; 3.5k ish

(this fic is an extension from the "don't you think of me?" universe, which you can read here.)

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The text sits on your phone. Every time the screen starts to dim, you tap it to keep it illuminated, yet you don't reply. You can't. Every muscle in your body feels frozen except that one finger. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

You watched the phone dim, but the name of the contact seemed to stay just as bright, even when the light is as low as it can be, “Matty. DO NOT TEXT.” glows on your screen. The warning was added against your will after a few too many drunk almost-phone calls. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

It’s an hour later when the phone dies. You knew it was coming, watching the percentage of charge drop slowly. You got the 15% warning. Then the 5%. But still, you did the same thing until the screen finally went black.

 Tap. Tap. Tap.

You don't need the phone to be lit up to remember what the message said anyway. You’d read it a thousand times over already. You’d analysed it, broken it down, performed autopsies on every single word, each letter was scorched into your brain. 

“Hey y/n, long time no talk. 

I hope you got my letter, if you didn't read it, that's okay. You already know everything I said. You always knew me better than I did. 

Anyway, I know this is a long shot, but it's my birthday party next week, and I just can't imagine celebrating without you there. All I can think about is my last birthday, me and you in Hawaii. I don't expect it to be like that, but I would love it if you came. Even if you just had one drink, we don't have to talk. You can wave at me across the room and stay far, far away. Treat me like I've got the plague for all I care, but just come, please. 

Give an old man his birthday wish?

See you there, maybe. I hope so, anyway.

Matty x” 

You want to do the same to the text that you did to his letter, burn it to a crisp. But that doesn't exactly seem feasible, considering your phone was £500, and probably not flammable. plus, you had blisters on your fingers for weeks after the letter, and you dont know if it's worth it again.

But you can't deny that the blisters were oddly comforting. Reminding you what you did every time something brushed your digits, that he was gone, and you had the power. The ball was in your court, and you intended it to stay there.

And it was there for months. But Matty ruined that by sending that message, he got the power back whether he intended to or not. And it was made even worse by him telling Charli, and her endless phone calls begging you to come.

You’re so good at telling her its not going to happpen, and every message that comes in gets a firm “no.” or just gets point-blank ignored. She begs, saying that she needs a friend there and that she'll even let you choose a few songs for George’s DJ playlist. But you stay strong, shaking your head and sighing, insisting you've moved on, that chapter of your life is closed, and you'd like to keep it that way.

So you can't help but wonder how you ended up dressed up on a Saturday night standing outside of Matty’s house, bottle of wine gripped in your shaking hands and the distinct noise of your heels clicking against the pavement as you walk towards the house you've done everything you can to forget. 

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As soon as you walk in, you can tell the house is different from how you left it. Obviously, the strobe lights and birthday balloons were new, but even ignoring those, the whole space felt wrong. Even more unforgiving and cold, which was impressive considering every inch was covered with people, dancing and chatting. Still, a lifeless air hung around. 

Your eyes darted around, finding the places that you used to occupy. The painting you bought Matty no longer hangs on the wall, replaced by yet another award. You can't help but feel bitter when you see the poster celebrating the album full of songs about you. The spot where your mug used to sit on the counter was empty, but the dark stained ring of coffee remained, forcing you to fight a small smile. maybe he hadn't completely erased you, even if he tried.

People recognise you immediately, and they don't hide their shock well. They might think that they do, smoothly recovering from their initial surprise, but they don't. You see their wide eyes and disbelieving glances, each person acting like you're a ghost haunting the house you once lived in.

You play pretend along with them, smiling as best you can and answering all their questions.

"How's work?"

"How have you been?"

"you seen any good films lately?"

but, you both know you're dancing around the one question they really want to be answered.

why the fuck were you here?

Eventually, the people stop coming, and Charli finds you, plying you with drinks and half-slurred thanks as she begs you to stay for just 5 more minutes. You agree, only because you have yet to catch a glimpse of the birthday boy, and that made everything just bearable.

You quickly regret that decision when you see him not even a minute later, standing by George in the DJ booth smoking a cigarette and laughing in that contagious way he always did. High pitched giggles and his head thrown back.

But he doesn't see you, so it's still okay. You can hang on a few seconds more. Your chest might be tightening with every moment, but you're not suffocating yet.

However, when a tall blonde girl walks over and starts making out with him, it suddenly starts to feel like the room is on fire, and you’re choking on the invisible smoke. The burn of the flames starts to feel all too real when he pulls away from her, though, and his eyes find yours as if they're magnetised together. 

The realisation falls over his face immediately, dropping his hand from around her waist and trying desperately to weave through the crowd surrounding him. You don't stay to see if he breaks through the sea of people, already rushing out as fast as you can, forcing your cup into a stranger's hand and moving as fast as your legs can take you.

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“y/n, stop.” You hear Matty’s voice behind you as you storm out his front door, but you don't turn. It sounds muffled, like you're being pulled underwater, and someone is screaming at you to get up. But the waves keep on pulling you deeper, and his voice becomes more faint with every step you take.

Yet, as soon as the cold air fills your lungs and his skin finally touches yours, you're pulled out. You spin around as soon as his fingers graze your shoulder, acting like even his touch is painful as you wrench away.

It was finally here, the time you were dreading. The time when it was just you, him, and everything that remained unsaid.

His eyes held yours as the silence of the night surrounded you, and you couldn't help but study him like you always did. He looked different. Not better or worse, just different. The colourful lights in the house had been hiding his features. 

He had more lines on his face, deeper ones on his forehead, but the ones around his mouth had lightened, his smile lines fading. You could still tell even when it was slicked back with heavy gel that more grey streaks danced through his curls.

His eyes were the same, though. Always so telling, so revealing. If you wanted to know exactly what Matty Healy was thinking, look in his eyes. They spoke more than he did. Which sounds absurd if you’d ever had a conversation with him, but you'd bet your life on it.

You almost start to soften at the sight of him, old memories flooding back. Flashes of warm sun and hot kisses, filthy sex followed by soft breakfasts in bed. But then he speaks. Why do men always do that? Just as you're thinking about saying something and trying defusing the situation, they open their stupid mouth.

“Where are you going?” he asks softly, his chest heaving as he desperately sucks in oxygen, his lungs fighting to catch up.

“Home, Matty. I shouldn't have come. I don't even know why you invited me.” You try to spin and walk away, to finally move on. But of course, Matty’s voice drags you back under once again, and the same water fills your lungs.

“stay, please. i dont know why i invited you either, but I did. I didn't expect you to come. I just-” Matty stutters as he speaks as if his brain can't catch up with his mouth, things pour out that he doesn't mean. And he knows it. It's crystal clear as soon as his wide eyes shoot open, processing what he had really just said. 

He didn't expect you to come? He put you through all this and didn't think you'd show up? What was the point then? Was it just to hurt you? Did he just want to see if he could? to see if his name popping up would have the same effect it always did, make you come running to him?

Your body moves without thinking, turning to face Matty with fires burning in your eyes, "You didn't think I would come? Then why the fuck did you even invite me, Matty?! to flaunt your new girlfriend? to try and "win" the breakup? Well congratulations, you've fucking won. I'm sure that model hanging off your arm is just perfect for you.” sarcasm drips from your every word, burning Matty like acid rain.

“No! It's not like that. I don't know. I think- I think I was just scared we’d never be in the same place again. That I would love you for the rest of my life, but I’d never see you again.” his voice softens as he speaks, and you almost want to give in, to crumble at his gentle tone and warm eyes. But he can't still love you, it seems impossible when you go back and see the destruction he left behind.

“That's what a breakup is, Matty. And did you ever think about me? About what I want? I can't help but think that maybe that would've been better. If being in the same room as you means feeling like this, I don't ever want to see you again.” You spit back angrily.

Matty's nostrils flare before he speaks, and you can see the anger building inside him. It takes a lot to get Matty to shout, but you can tell with every second you're making him inch closer. And you don't know why that makes you feel so good, but if you're honest, you don't want to know.

You want to keep going, keep pushing. You want him to act like he did that night. You needed to see it again. You needed to know he couldn't ever forget the night you're forced to remember. 

“y/n, I don't- I just don't know what to say to you. What do you want from me? Do you want me to say that saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do? That it ripped my heart out of my chest? That it fucking destroyed me? It did. Of course it did, you always made me feel everything. Losing you was no different.” You heard the way Matty’s voice cracked the more he spoke, but you ignored it. If he wanted to pull the dagger out of your heart, it was his job to deal with the bleeding.

“It didn't feel that hard when you stopped coming home at night. Or when you were fucking screaming at me. Or even that night when you walked out the door, you made it look pretty fucking easy that night. Because that's how it was Matty, you left. So don't come to me bitching and whining that it destroyed you. It's your fault. All of this is your fault.” you feel your voice wavering, but you suck in another breath, refusing to let him see you weaken, to see that wall you built start to break down. 

“I deserved a better goodbye, Matty. If the goodbye you gave me hurt, the one I deserved would have fucking killed you.” You poke Matty in the chest harshly, pushing him back on his unsteady feet. 

Streetlights flicker above you, the severe light dancing across Matty’s features. As long as you can remember, this light was busted, flicking on and off at will. It used to annoy you, distract you at night when the light poured through the curtains of Matty's bedroom.

Tonight, however, you loved it. No one could hide what they were really feeling under the harsh yellow glow. It seemed to pull every emotion to the surface of your face, illuminating even the darkest parts you wanted to hide.

So it was easy to spot when anger reared its ugly head in Matty. This time, he doesn't push it back. He physically can't.

He needs you to know that it did kill him to say goodbye, and that you can see that. he needs to understand how you can’t you see that he's the shell of the man he once was as he stands here?

“I apologised to you. I know you got my letter. Thanks for the response, by the way, a great way for us to get closure for whatever the fuck this was.” venom drips from every word that falls from his lips, and you have to fight to hide the smirk brewing on your face. 

Finally. Finally, he was angry. He was pissed off. This is what you needed. You need the big fight, the final breakdown. Just one more time, you tell yourself, just one more screaming match, and you can move on.

A scoff involuntarily is ripped from your chest, as if you can't believe the utter bullshit coming from the man across from you. “I'm sorry, you think you deserve a response? What would I say in it, “Oh Matty, I'm so sorry! You're so right. Please let me come over so we can fuck all night!!” I know I'm not your usual airhead type, but you have to think more of me than that”

Your voice is high and piercing as you speak, and you know it. It always was when you started to get riled up. However, in this moment, you didn't care. You just needed something to happen, for him to get just as annoyed as you've been for fucking months.

“You don't think I deserved anything, though? Not even an acknowledgement?” his incredulous eyes met yours, begging you to take everything back and say you're sorry too, that it wasn't just his fault, even if he knew that wasn't true.

“Why should I? You never acknowledged my feelings. I don't think you asked me how I felt in the last month of our relationship.” Wet tears start brewing at your lashline. You want to fight them falling. But you can't, your resolve weakening with every second he stands in front of you.

“you know, that night we broke up, I realised something. you hadn't said you loved me in weeks. I said it every morning. But you'd hum back, or nod, or hug me. But you never actually said it.” Matty tries to cut in, and you already know what he wants to say. But you don't let him, powering through his half started words and desperate eyes.

After a few shaky breaths, your words start pouring again, “You treated saying “I love you” just like how you treated saying sorry. Like it would kill you to even think it. You've still never properly apologised for how you treated me, never said it to my face. But when we were together, I found myself saying sorry thousands of times over for feeling anything. I felt guilty for being pissed off at you, like I was doing something wrong. But I had every right to be! You had become a man I didn't even recognise, and for some reason, I still loved you, even when I shouldn't have. But at the time, I didn't see that. All I saw was you hurting. And because all I do is care, I wanted to stay. To stay for you, for us. Our family.”

Seconds pass, but they feel like minutes. The harsh wind blowing between you whistling through the street. Your eyes can't be dragged away from Matty’s, tears falling freely between the two of you.

And suddenly, you don't want him to be angry any more, you don't want this all to happen. You wish you could go back, never come here. But time doesn't work like that, so you’re stuck with tears pouring down your face as you stare at the man you once thought was the love of your life.

“Do you still have feelings for me?” Matty whispers, and you could see the desperation on his face, wet eyes tracing your every feature.

In that moment, he didn't know what he wanted your answer to be.

If you said no, it would kill him. Every ember of hope smouldering inside him would be burnt out, never to be relit.

But if you said yes, he doesn't know if he can let go. If you say you still feel anything for him, he knows he’ll be looking for you in every universe until he finds the one where you stay.

“I won't ever not love you, Matty. No matter how many times I tell myself I've moved on or that my life is better without you in it. I will always love you, and that's fucking agonising.” you sniffle as you speak, and you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How did you go from screaming at each other to professing your everlasting love?

Matty wants nothing more in that moment than to start begging you to come back, telling you how you can make it work, to talk about what he would do to get you back. But he knows he shouldn't, so he doesn't.

“Annie still thinks about you all the time you know,” Matty says, and your chest hurts from the whiplash of this conversation, jumping between memories of your old life so fast its almost unbearable. But you knew Matty. He needed to jump around to stay sane, so you jumped with him.

“I know, I remember you saying in the letter that she stopped asking when I was coming back. Is that true?” your voice drops again, as if you were sharing secrets at a sleepover.

“I thought it would be easier when she stopped asking, maybe then I'd not spend every waking hour thinking of you. But when the day came, it wasn't easier. It was like watching you leave right in front of me all over again. It brought me back to walking into the house for the first time after you left, looking at the empty space and trying to figure out how to fill it. Annie was filling it by asking about you, but suddenly she wasn't, and that glaring hole in my life was back." Matty's voice breaks as he speaks, but he clears his throat and tries to ignore it.

"I realised then that I'll never not think about you. Even if no one talks about you. Even if I never see you again, I'll still think of you.” Matty sucks in a shaky breath as soon as the words stop pouring out of him. His lungs seemed like they were sticking together with every word he said, and it felt like death. But he couldn't stop the rush of words, so he let the death surround him.

“Tell her I said hi” you reply meekly, not sure what to say in response to Matty’s outpour.

“I won't” he replies weekly, forcing a half smile and chuckle that you half-heartedly return. 

Once again, the blanket of silence surrounds the two of you, enveloping you in a way that feels all too familiar. So you break it, not letting yourself fall back into old patterns.

"i just dont understand how it all happened so quickly. how did you go from a stranger to the love of my life, only then to become someone I wish was a stranger all over again?" You whisper, your shaking hands coming to cup Matty's wet cheeks as you step closer. His hands wrap around your waist instantly, pulling you in and holding you so tight it almost hurts. 

Silence hangs between the two of you. But its no longer painful or awkward, stilted or angry. It was a silence of acceptance, an acknowledgement that this had to be the final goodbye. There was no erasing the past, the demons that followed the two of you couldn't be ignored. So you were done, this was it.

Eventually, you pull away, and your face hovers in front of Matty’s for a few beats too long. You want to give him a final kiss, a proper goodbye. and you swear you can almost feel his lips against yours, taste the salty tears that would fall from your eyes. You don't, though. Your hands drop from his wet cheeks, and you walk away.

Every fibre inside you wants to turn around and go back to him. It feels impossible to face the future with the person you planned to spend it with standing 10 steps behind. But you do, moving forward and trying not to mourn the life you know you can never get back.

[forcryingoutlloud]

mine - matty healy

(mdni) in which your husband feels the need to remind you exactly to whom you belong. a white and gold future fic. 2713 words.

warnings: problematic age gap, daddy kink, branding, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, praise, degradation, mild cumplay, dirty sleazy possessive man

You really, truly didn’t mean to find yourself in this situation. Sometimes, you’ll admit, it’s on purpose, playing up the brattiness until Matty snaps, doling out whatever punishment he wants as you cry and promise to be good next time. This time, though, it isn’t your fault. It isn’t. You can’t help it if your husband’s business partners see his young, hot wife and decide they want you for themselves. Besides, Matty’s always telling you to be polite, so you were. Smiling, laughing at their jokes, leaning forward as you listen with interest.

It’s not your fault if some (old, stupid) man takes that as the wrong kind of interest. Matty watches as he stumbles through attempts to flirt with you, pet names tripping clumsily off his tongue. Steam practically curls off your husband, his face hardening in fury as you smile blithely, accepting the affections without encouraging anything; he doesn't take the hint. When he tucks a loose piece of hair behind your ear, trailing his hand down in a garish attempt to touch your tit, Matty catches his wrist in a punishing grip. “Keep your fucking hands off my wife, yeah? Unless you wanna get knocked the fuck out.” His usually-subtle accent bleeds over his words, roughens their edges. Everyone suddenly becomes very interested in the silverware and heat prickles under your skin as Matty’s grip tightens on your waist, possessive.

He pulls you in for a kiss, slow and deep and an obvious performance, a public message: mine. Matty stays tight with anger the whole evening, the tension in his shoulders not loosening until you’re spread out on the bed, your dress crumpled somewhere on your living room floor and your hair haloed out on the pillow as he stares down at you. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you say cautiously, and his face softens.

“Oh, baby, I’m not mad at you,” he promises, climbing over you to press a gentle kiss to your lips. You accept it eagerly, the bitter taste of red wine lingering on his lips. “Just need to make sure everyone knows whose girl you are, yeah? So pretty, baby. Drives me fuckin’ crazy. You know, every single one of those men wanted to take you home. Can see it in the way they look at you.”

You flush, a note of pride creeping under your skin. “But they can’t,” you say, a slow smirk spreading across his face.

“That’s right. You’re Daddy’s girl, yeah? I’m the only one who gets to take you home, gets to see you all pretty and pleading and spread out for me, yeah? Bet they go home and dream about seeing you like this.” His nails dig into your skin as he grips your hips, snapping the elastic of your panties against your skin.

“Only you, Daddy,” you promise, and Matty presses a kiss between your tits, just over your heart. It thuds faster, calling out for his touch, a wave of love crashing over you as you sigh happily. “All yours,” you say, pouting as he climbs off you and goes to root in a dresser drawer for something.

He comes back to you with an uncapped Sharpie, grinning as you shudder. “Need to make sure everyone knows whose girl you are, yeah?” You nod shakily, Matty kneeling over you and leaning down. The scrape of the pen against your decolletage sends a shiver up your spine, something close to pain but not quite it blooming where the ink stains your skin. Concentration is evident on his face as he writes, the letters bold and clear as he moves down your body. Sitting up to admire his handiwork, Matty plucks at the strap of your bra. “Can you take this off for me, princess? Wanna see your pretty tits.” You obey thoughtlessly, arching your back to slip a hand behind you and unhook your bra, tossing it carelessly to the floor. Naked but for your panties with Matty fully clothed on top of you, you shiver, exposed. There’s something that feels right about it, though, handing Matty all the power like this, and trusting that you’ll only love what he does with it.

“What did you write, Daddy?” you ask, craning your neck to try to read, but the letters are upside down and your skin bends in a way that makes the letters illegible.

Matty pushes you back down gently. “Here, darling. Let me show you.” He slides his phone out from his back pocket and takes a couple of photos before handing it to you. Eagerly, you drink in the sight of yourself, heat in your cheeks and your lips red and kiss-bitten. Then, your eyes track across the words scrawled on your skin. Property of M. Healy. A pulse of heat throbs in your belly so thickly it almost hurts, liquid desire dripping between your legs and pooling in your underwear.

Property. You turn the word over in your mind, savouring the way it traces deliciously up your spine. Matty’s property, his kept girl, his pretty toy, his to do with whatever he wants. The thought makes your head go fuzzy, the idea of being his whenever and wherever he wants melting your insides to goo. “You own me, Daddy,” you murmur, his eyes so wide with lust that they look black.

“That’s fuckin’ right,” he breathes, stripping out of his suit and boxers, his cock thudding against his belly. Eagerly, you slide your panties down your legs and kick them to the floor, watching Matty’s eyes fall to your soaked cunt. “So wet for me, princess. Does it get you off, knowing you’re all mine?” You nod, drool pooling in your mouth  as he strokes his cock slowly. “Such a good girl. My good girl. Can see how bad you want it. Bein’ so patient, princess.”

Trembling, it’s a fight to keep still, keep your hands to yourself. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, Matty still just watching. “Please, Daddy,” you whine desperately. “Can do whatever you want to me,” you breathe, and the words finally snare him, his eyes darkening as he falls on top of you.

“Whatever I want, yeah?” he murmurs, a gush of heat flooding between your legs at his words. “C’mon, sweet girl. Legs up for me. Gonna fuckin’ ruin you,” he promises, thumbing over the bold, stark letters on your skin. He dips his head, biting a harsh bruise into your neck, one you know will be luridly purple by the next time he takes you out. You giggle as he takes a greedy handful of one of your tits, grasping possessively. “These pretty tits are mine, yeah?”

“Yours,” you whimper, the heat between your legs unbearable as Matty works his way down your body, repeating it like a litany as he grasps possessively at your skin.

“These hips.” His. “This ass.” His. “These pretty thighs.” His. “This sweet, needy little cunt.”

A strangled moan escapes you as he brushes his fingers featherlight over your clit, teasing. Desperation wells under your skin, your cunt aching with need. “S’all yours, Daddy. ‘M your property,” you moan, rolling your hips up against nothing.

“That’s right,” he grins. “Bein’ such a good girl for Daddy, princess.” A moan of pure lust spills from your lips as Matty licks a broad, flat stripe over your cunt, your hands fisting in the sheets at the wave of pleasure that cascades over you. He laps at you insistently, setting a dizzying rhythm over your swollen clit. You tremble with the effort of keeping still, letting Matty do what he wants while you take it like a good girl. “S’okay, baby. Wanna hear those pretty sounds you make, feel that sweet little cunt grinding on my face,” he murmurs, the words vibrating through your core.

Matty wraps his lips around your clit, the sensation making your body jolt as he sucks on your swollen bundle of nerves. Heat blooms under your skin as Matty tongues at you and moans into your cunt, the vibration rolling gloriously through you. He digs his fingers into your thighs, so hard that you know there’ll be bruises tomorrow, further proof he owns you. Mind-melting pleasure winds deliciously through you, Matty plunging his tongue deep inside you, devouring you from the inside out.

He refuses to fall into a rhythm, refuses to let you get complacent, switching between sucking on your clit, licking at your hole and tonguefucking you at a dizzying pace. Whining incoherently, you fist a hand in his curls and grind your hips up against his mouth. Matty’s nose bumps your clit as you writhe, legs kicking in the air. Molten pleasure melts your brain, dripping sticky from your ears and puddling on the mattress. “Are you close, sweet girl?” Matty asks, pulling away to kiss wetly at your thighs. Your hazy, addled mind struggles to latch onto his words, and you gasp as he blows cold air over your clit. “I asked you a question, princess.”

“‘M sorry, Daddy,” you whimper reflexively. “Yeah. Yeah, ‘m close,” you whine, tugging on his hair to pull him back to your cunt. Matty’s fingers join his tongue, a bolt of ecstasy striking between your legs at the scrape of his calloused fingers. He works skilfully at your clit, your legs turning to jelly as waves of pleasure pin you to the mattress. “F-fuck, Daddy, m’gonna cum, want it s’bad, please, please, please!” you cry out, babbling incoherent pleas into the air above you.

“Go on, darling. Cum for Daddy.” He pairs the words with a harsh pinch to your clit, your body wracking with shudders as you pitch over the edge. Pleasure drips stickily down your spine, your vision blurring as your orgasm crashes through you. Matty doesn’t let up, sucking insistently on your clit, your cunt still pulsing with the aftershocks.

Pleasure tinged with pain kicks under your skin, overstimulation burning between your thighs. “S’too much, Daddy, I can’t–” you whimper, his free hand pinning your hips down when you try to squirm away.

“‘Whatever you want,’ you said,” Matty reminds you, running a finger through your sensitive folds. “What I want is for you to take it like a good girl, okay?” You nod shakily, swallowing thickly around a whine. “There’s my sweet girl. Colour?”

“‘M green,” you promise, shifting your hips and moaning when Matty’s tongue finds your clit again. You choke on a gasp as he sinks two fingers into you, meeting no resistance at your soaked hole.

“Such a good girl,” Matty murmurs, kissing and biting the soft flesh of your thighs, marking you as his, the undercurrent of pain glorious weaved through the pleasure licking up your spine. He finger-fucks you hard, your cunt clenching and legs kicking in the air, a second orgasm already building at the base of your spine. “My fucking girl, yeah?” Your hand drifts unconsciously down to where his name is written just below your tits. “All those men today wanted you, princess. Wanted you so badly,” he coos, your mind staticky as his fingers thrust in and out of you at a pace that sends you reeling. “Wanted my gorgeous, sexy, irresistible, perfect fucking wife,” he groans, punctuating every adulation with a quick, deep thrust, moans spilling endlessly from your lips. 

“Can’t have me,” you slur out, your mind off-balance against Matty’s unfaltering pace.

“That’s right, princess,” he says, pride colouring his tone. “You’re mine. All mine. That’s my  ring on your finger, my name next to yours.” he growls. Maybe that’s not enough. Maybe I should take you out like this, show the whole fuckin’ world how much you love bein’ all fucked-out for me, wearin’ my name, bein’ my property.” You give a helpless, strangled moan, turned on beyond words. “God, you love that, don’t you, baby? Such a good little slut for Daddy. Do you wanna cum, angel?”

“God, yes, please, please, please!” you scream out, writhing and squirming uncontrollably as the tide of pleasure wells up inside of you, threatening to overwhelm.

Matty kisses your clit softly, your cunt fluttering around his fingers at the sensation. “God, you beg so pretty, baby. Go on, darling, cum,” he orders, and your body obeys. Your second orgasm is even more intense than the first, pure pleasure washing over you and wiping your mind clean. Your vision whites out, a scream you’re only dimly aware comes from your own throat ringing out. Euphoria burns from your core, flooding your limbs, hot and intense.

You come back to Earth to Matty’s tongue working insistent and sure over your clit, your body going boneless against the fervid pleasure winding up your spine. “Again?” you whimper.

Matty pinches your hip with his free hand. “Don’t be a brat. How many times have I told you I wanna spend all day with my tongue buried in this sweet cunt? ‘S what I want, princess, like you said. SHould be thankin’ me. Colour?”

“‘M still green, Daddy. Thank you,” you say dopily, letting your eyes slip closed as pure electricity washes over you. 

You lose count of how many times Matty makes you cum, skilled fingers and tongue sending you spiralling over and over and over again. Your body feels barely a body; ecstasy in place of organs, pleasure in place of bones. When he’s finally satisfied, pulling away with his lips and chin fucking dripping with your arousal, your cunt feels sore and swollen, and you know you won’t be walking right for weeks. He climbs over you, pulling your jaw open like you’re a fucking doll and spitting the taste of you into your mouth. You swallow instinctively, smiling up at him and showing off your clean tongue.

“Good girl,” Matty coos. “Got you trained up so good, hm? God, I fucking love you, my girl,” he groans, leaning down to kiss you so that the taste of you smears further across your tongue.

“Love you too,” you say, gazing up into his eyes, lust-darkened but still liquid with adoration. “Yours forever,” you promise, lifting your left hand so your wedding ring catches the light.

Matty kneels up to take in the sight of you, fucking wrecked for him, his eyes blowing wide at his name in stark ink on your skin. He unbuckles his belt, freeing his cock, flushed red and drooling. Two fingers swipe through your soaked cunt, and you whimper at the prospect of cumming again. “S’okay, darling, m’not gonna make you go again,” Matty promises, wrapping his wet hand around his cock. “See how hard you make me, angel?” He tips his head back with a groan, slowly pumping his cock. “All for you. M’yours.”

“Made for each other,” you say breathily, eyes glued to the point where his cock disappears into his fist.

Moaning low in his throat, Matty nods. “Made for each other,” he agrees, fucking his fist wildly. You can tell from his face, the way his motions get more erratic with every passing second, that he’s close. With a gasp of your name, he’s cumming, white ropes splashing on your belly and over your tits. His jaw goes slack as he gazes down at you, his cum splattered over the brand of his name driving him wild. “Fuck. Look so fuckin’ gorgeous, darling. God, I wanna keep you like this forever.”

You giggle. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. “Can I?” he murmurs, awed.

“As many as you like, Daddy,” you smile. “I’m your property, remember? Your little slut. Your pretty cumdump.”

Matty gives a shuddering moan. “For such a princess, you’ve got a filthy fuckin’ mouth,” he chuckles, retrieving his phone from his discarded jacket. He takes at least a dozen pictures, pausing in between each to stare at you, unabashed arousal in his face.

“I learned it from you,” you smirk; you both know that isn’t true, but he likes hearing it. You drag two fingers through the mess on your stomach and suck them clean, grinning proudly up at him.

“Fuck,” Matty groans, cock twitching valiantly as he watches you. “God, drives me fuckin’ crazy when you do that. Makin’ me wanna fuck you properly, baby.”

A thrill skitters up your slime. “Please?”

[forcryingoutlloud]

Touch Tank

He’s so pretty when he goes down on me… <3

THE MAKEUP FIC LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN

Fluff into smut because I am a sappy bitch. It’s actually quite soft despite being dirty. 

Fem! Reader

Contains: Sub! Matty, him being a sweetie pie and guiding her into it, facesitting/riding, makeup ruining, praise kink (good boy, pretty boy, etc.), Matty cumming in his pants, hair pulling, Matty Healy worshiping that cunt idk what else to tell you

WC: ~4,600

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Matty asks you to do his makeup for him… and then ruin it by sitting on his face

—---------------------------------------------------

You glance at Matty through the reflection in the mirror, your heart swelling in your chest at the adoring look plastered on his face. He looks so incredibly gentle, his eyes soft and practically sparkling as he watches you apply concealer onto your skin. Only a few minutes ago, he’d plopped himself down on the lidded toilet near you and insisted that you show him how you do your makeup while you get ready for your girl’s night out. His longing gazes have proven to be very distracting as your working hands almost slow to a stop.

“Just pretend I’m not here! What comes next?” he urges, leaning his chin against his hand casually.

“Alright, alright! Next is the powder,” you explain, starting to refocus as you run the brush through the pan of skin-toned pigment. 

Matty’s eyes can’t seem to stay focused on one thing, flicking between the product you’re using (taking note of the brand you use), your pretty face, and the way your steady fingers curl around the makeup brush. He murmurs the word “powder” to himself like he’s trying to commit the steps you take in your routine to his memory. Boyfriend training, if you will.

“Right… so, do you really need the primer, the concealer, and the other thing? Why haven’t they just combined them all? It’s an awful lot of work for you makeup users,” he muses, talking as if he knows what any of them are really for. 

“I have no clue, babe. You should really get on that,” you chuckle, stealing another glance at him through the mirror. 

“Yeah, I should, shouldn’t I? What’s that one for, then?” he asks, reaching out and pointing at the powder in your hands. 

“This? It’s to set everything in place that we just put on,” you explain, finding it quite sweet that he’s so curious about this little piece of your life, as mundane as it might be. 

Matty hums and nods thoughtfully, seeming satisfied with knowing more about makeup than he did before. Not just any makeup, but his girl’s makeup that she takes so much time to get right. There’s something very domestic about this moment, everything feels a little softer when it’s just you two like this. Even the moonlight seems to seep through the window gentler. Matty’s life is irregular, there’s no denying that. It’s what makes these moments of calm feel so sacred, so untouchable. 

You continue carrying out your routine, going a little slower than usual to prolong it all, your brush strokes lingering a little longer than necessary as you brush a tastefully shimmery shade on your eyelids. Your boyfriend is unusually quiet as he admires you with those sleepy eyes. It’s not often that he isn’t either speaking or waiting for someone to finish talking so he can get a word in. The silence feels comfortable for both of you, it settles over the bathroom like a blanket. 

“Ah, wait, I know that one,” he interrupts, suddenly sitting up straighter as you take out your next product, snapping his fingers and pointing at it, “that’s mascara.”

Matty looks absolutely triumphant, crossing his arms over his chest with a slyness plastered on his face. You let out a breathy little chuckle, only managing half of an eye roll before a warm smile tugs at your lips. 

Once you’ve finished, Matty clears his throat to get your attention, looking as though he’s mulling over asking you something. 

“Hey, I know you said you liked those pictures you saw of my stage makeup. I haven’t really done it in a while… y’know, if you wanted to do some on me… before you go to your party,” he offers softly, trailing off as he looks up into your eyes. 

“Wait, are you serious!?” you exclaim, your eyes lighting up with a grin on your face that could rival a kid’s smile on Christmas morning. 

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs, chuckling as you already scramble to grab all your supplies, sliding them towards the closer end of the counter, “I’m going to trust you here, but you’ve got the perfect chance to fuck me up good, making me look like a proper circus clown.”

“I would never!” you gasp, feigning offense at his comment with a dramatic hand over your heart, “why on earth would I do that when I have the opportunity to make you the prettiest of princesses?” 

“The what? Nah, never mind that, you’ve just lost the privilege.” 

“No, no, no I’m sorry, I’ll behave!” 

Matty eyes you suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at you like he’s assessing whether or not you’ll be calling him “baby girl” or something next. Out of the goodness of his heart (and because he does really does want you to do this), he nods at you, crossing his arms over his chest. You just smile giddily, leaning down to kiss his forehead while he mumbles “Yeah, yeah, c’mon do me up”. 

You’ve decided to go easy on him and not do a full face, just his eyes and lips. With that, you crack open your makeup pallet reserved only for fun occasions, it’s filled with shimmery, bright colors that immediately attract Matty’s distractable eyes. You hold it up to him for him to get a better look, his brows furrowing as he no doubt contemplates what he thinks would look the coolest.

“What are you thinking?” you ask, still very excited that he’d not only agreed to let you do this but was the one to suggest it. 

“Maybe this blueish one? I dunno, is that what any basic straight guy would pick?” 

“You’re overthinking it. I think it would look really nice on you.”

You dip your eyeshadow brush in the pan, instructing him to close his eyes for you and stay still the best he can (not the easiest of feats for one Mr. Healy). He does, his gaze softening before he lets his eyes flutter shut. With your free hand, you reach out and gently tilt his face to be angled properly. You feel a little warmth blossom in your chest as you realize how intimate this feels, especially with how serene he looks as he closes his eyes. Even though it feels silly because it’s just doing his makeup, your heart still thrums a little faster at the little display of trust.

When you touch the brush to his eyelid, he lets out a short, very Matty-sounding giggle as he tells you that it feels “quite nice”. You chuckle along with him, switching to the other eyelid once you’re sure the other one is evenly applied. Your touch is delicate as you hold the side of Matty’s face, your eyes squinting with concentration as you work. He’s warm under your fingertips. You notice how soothed he seems by you handling him like this, almost hypnotized by the brush strokes. He looks so soft. Unjaded. Untouched. 

While his eyes are closed, you reach for your eyeliner, warning him before you touch the point of it to his lash line. Still, he flinches slightly when the liner touches his eyelid, his nose scrunching up a bit as you do your best to trace a steady line, despite the way his eyelids flutter.

“You’re moving, Matty.”

“M’not!” he insists (he is). 

With a bit of fixing, you’d managed to draw out two almost even wings. At your permission, his eyes blink open again and the sight almost steals your breath away. The blue is bringing out the honey tones of his irises, his sleepy eyes defined by the complimentary liner. He’s beautiful. 

“Do I look hot?” he asks, blinking faux seductively.

“Very hot,” you grin, inspecting your work as you keep a tender hold on his chin. 

It’s not even a joke, he does look hot. You’ve always not so secretly adored his more feminine side, getting absolutely giddy whenever he wore a skirt around the flat or painted his nails. You rub your thumb over his cheek affectionately before reaching back over to the counter for your mascara wand, holding it up to him before you unscrew the cap. It’s the only one he’d recognized from earlier, so of course you’re going to tease him a little. 

“Time for your favorite,” you joke, moving to position yourself in front of him. 

Matty glances at the wand for a second before nodding slowly, smiling with his tongue between his teeth boyishly. 

“Mascara,” he recalls smugly.

It quickly becomes his least favorite when he painstakingly can only blink when you tell him to, this wand object being far too close to his eyeballs for his liking. He groans dramatically between the blink breaks that you give him, pulling all sorts of odd, exaggerated faces.

“That was god awful, hated that,” he broods, shaking his head at you. 

You make up for it with an apologetic kiss to his cheek, then wipe away the pink trace of your lipstick on his skin. You reassure him that you’re almost done, now retrieving the same shade of lipstick that you’d done on yourself. You slowly ease his lips apart with the hand on his jaw, Matty being totally pliant while he gazes at you quietly. You start to apply the color to his lips, swallowing thickly as you try not to get distracted by his mouth. Despite your best efforts, your face feels a little hot as quiet tension blooms. His pupils have practically doubled in size at this point from how enamored he is with you in this moment. The tension only grows stronger when you finish, standing behind him as you lead him to the mirror.

“Oh, shit. I look… I look really good,” Matty gawks, his lips parting as he eyes himself in the mirror.

“You do. I’d go as far as to say that you look fucking stunning,” you whisper near the shell of his ear, feeling the hairs rise on the back of his neck.

The two of you stay like that for a bit longer, both admiring him in the reflection of the mirror, your hands settled on his shoulders and your lips brushing against his ear. With a smile, you place a tender kiss on his neck before leaving him to gaze at himself some more while you finish getting ready in the bedroom. 

It’s not long before Matty is trailing after you, finding you slipping your “style over comfort” heels on as he frowns at you from the doorway. The fact that you’re not still fawning over him while he looks this good is pure absurdity in his mind. 

“You’re really just gonna leave me here while I’m all dolled up for you? Shame,” he pouts, tilting his head at you as he juts out his bottom lip. Such a drama queen.

Matty comes closer and sinks to his knees in front of you at the foot of the bed, his calloused fingertips running up the expanse of your smooth legs. He looks up at you with lidded eyes as he reaches for the ankle straps of your shoes that you’d just put on, leaning his cheek against your knee as he starts to unclasp one of them with nimble fingers. You don’t stop him. He knows for a fact that he’s putting you in a position where you couldn’t possibly say no to him, not when he’s looking at you like that, his naturally gorgeous features only further accentuated by the makeup you’d done. Maybe being fashionably late isn’t such a big deal… Sarah hosts girl's nights all the time. Besides, Matty seems to have other plans for convincing you that the party is hardly a priority. You swear if you squint, you can see a plan racing to come together in his head as you gaze down at him, drinking him in while he’s on his knees. 

“We don’t really have the time…” you murmur, reaching with one hand to card your fingers through his hair, holding it away from his eyes while he undoes your shoes. 

Sex with Matty is never a casual affair. He takes his sweet time with you, he takes you apart with his mouth and his fingers before he even thinks of being inside of you. He doesn’t just please, he satisfies. Matty’s devoted appetite cannot be given a time constraint.

Once he’s finished sliding both of your shoes off, carefully setting them to the side, he clambers up onto the bed and lays down behind you. His head is tilted in your direction as he reaches his hands out to you in a grabbing motion, urging you to come closer. 

“You could sit on my face,” he suggests, not a trace of hesitation in his blunt tone. 

“What?” you gape, your eyebrows knitting together.

“You heard me,” he quips, swallowing thickly before speaking again, “Stay. Use me.”

You shake your head in disbelief, letting out a chuckle at his wanton request. Forcing yourself to swiftly regain your composure, you turn and slink towards him so you’re sitting on your knees at his side. It would probably be faster than sex… right?

“Where is this even coming from? Is that something you think about a lot, babe?” you smile teasingly, reaching over to cup his face, scratching your nails under his jaw. 

Matty’s gaze shifts to the side and he shrugs, a coyness playing on his face as his cheeks become rosier. No one gets to see him like this but you, this is your Matty. You sigh, your eyes flickering down to his painted lips that curl up with a mischievous quirk. 

“You’d hardly be able to breathe, Matty- no, stop, don’t look at me like that, I’m serious! These things don’t always work out like they do in your pornos,” you laugh, but you are genuinely concerned about hurting him.

“The fuck do I care? If I can breathe, I’m not doin’ it right,” he huffs petulantly, his greedy hands reaching for your hips to guide you into straddling him, “Literally crush me, I can take it, I’m a big boy.” 

You shoot him a look and he just offers a wide, toothy grin, reaching behind you to grab handfuls of your ass through your dress that's riding up your thighs higher with every little movement. It suddenly feels a lot shorter when it’s barely covering your panties. 

“I dunno about a big one, but you definitely are a boy sometimes, Healy,” you tease, leaning over him with your hands splayed on his chest for support. 

“You love it. Are you gonna sit that sexy ass down on me or what?” he smirks, only proving your point further as he waggles his eyebrows at you.

You can tell he’s not going to let this go, not till your thighs are locked around his head. Just as you’re about to open your mouth again, he’s easing the fabric of your dress further up your legs, letting out a satisfied hum as it bunches around your waist. He avidly smooths his hands over the newly exposed skin, need seeping through his touch. Matty’s voice is breathier when he speaks again, his fingertips digging into your hips.

“Please, darlin’, want you to ruin the pretty makeup you did for me so nicely,” he whispers.

 Instantly, heat surges under your skin, your breath catching in your throat at the way he spins his sugary words. That’s something you hadn’t considered. The image that flashes through your mind of Matty between your legs with his makeup smudged down his flushed cheeks makes a pang of want rip through you. Suddenly, it looks like your girlfriends will be taking the first round of shots without you.

“...Okay,” you relent, chewing at your bottom lip. 

“Yeesss, that’s what I thought,” he celebrates, drumming his fingertips against your hips excitedly, “C’mere.”

The actual process of sitting down on his face seems fairly daunting to you, your limbs feel more awkward than usual, and heat is prickling at your cheeks at the idea of actually straddling his head. It’s an awfully compromising pose to be in. Matty notices how stonewalled you seem, his thumbs rubbing encouraging circles into the bones of your hips. 

“It’s okay, I’m serious, I want you to. Here, let me just…” he trails off, urging you to lift your hips by easing them upwards, letting you do most of the movement.

“So gentle,” you tease, noticing how light his touch is, like you’re his most delicate possession.

“I am when I want to be.”

Matty guides you till you’re kneeling above his head, peering down at his warm, sparkly eyes. He looks even prettier from this angle, his sea of dark curls is spread around his head like a halo. The little smile plastered on his face says “See? Not so bad.”. And it’s not, not when he’s holding both of your hands, his thumbs running over your knuckles carefully. He gives one of your hands a squeeze before letting go, placing two tender fingers at the waistband of your panties. He slides them down the front of the lacy fabric till they meet the dampness that’s gathered between your thighs, only setting your skin more ablaze. Matty hums approvingly, the noise rumbling low in his chest as he hooks his fingers under the material, sliding them to the side. 

“Oh, fuck me. Perfect fucking cunt,” he groans, spreading your honeyed folds and marveling at the way your arousal gathers on his digits.

You laugh lightly at how he acts as if he’s seeing you like this for the first time and he just smiles, enamored. Matty catches his lower lip between his teeth as he runs his hands over to your thighs, holding them as he nods to signal that he’s ready for you. 

“Yeah?” you breathe, feeling your heart hammer against your ribs. 

“Yeah.”

Matty blinks up at you eagerly, vying for your complete attention with every flutter of his mascara-coated lashes. His eyes are wide and twinkly, only shining brighter when you start to slowly lower your hips down. His needy gaze is wildly flicking back and forth between your face and your core, slicked and glistening with your arousal. There’s a slight burn simmering in your legs at just how teasingly slowly you’re sinking downward, much to Matty’s vexation. He tugs slightly at the soft skin of your thighs, a little whine escaping the back of his throat as he anticipates the lack of oxygen to come. Matty presses his lips to any skin he can reach on your thighs, hurriedly peppering pink lipstick marks till you’re totally littered with them. He smushes his cheek to your inner thigh, his muss of dark curls tickling at your skin as he pleads with you. He looks so fucked out and you haven’t even started. 

“Please, please- please, baby,” he murmurs, his tongue darting out to run over his pink, plush lips between kisses to your skin. 

You smile down at him warmly, feeling your heart almost burst at just how badly he’s craving this, how long he’s likely fantasized about you using him for your pleasure this way. He’s behaving oh-so politely for a man so normally fond of brashness. 

“I-I need it… please, just fucking use me,” Matty whimpers, his voice breaking slightly, his tone shooting straight to your cunt.

Finally, you indulge him, inching down the rest of the way until you’re perched on his face, your knees on either side of his head. You gasp as he doesn’t waste a single moment before his tongue is working against you with practiced swirls and figures. He’s giving you no time to even think twice about being embarrassed by the lewdness of your positioning. Your hands go flying to support yourself against the headboard, feeling like your breath has been ripped straight from your lungs as Matty laps at your sopping cunt. His shimmery, blue eyelids flutter shut as he groans against you, his hands snaking up the backs of your thighs to your ass, holding you down against his mouth firmly as he devours you. Your whole body shudders as he drags his tongue to your clit, flicking the tip of it against the bud, liquid, carnal need filling you right to your bones. 

“Fuck! That’s my fucking boy, so good for me,” you sigh out, tossing your head back as you start to reflexively grind down on his tongue “You enjoying yourself, hun?”

Matty lets out syrupy moans that vibrate against your core, only adding to the dizzying, deep-seated pleasure pulsating and reverberating inside you as he nods his head. His lashes flutter, his eyes rolling back until only the whites are visible as you start to find your rhythm, rocking your hips into his mouth to chase the climax just beyond your fingertips. You let out a shuddering moan as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking hard to tighten the coiling heat in your belly, he knows all the little tricks to make your head spin. He hasn’t spent all this time learning your body for nothing, sometimes you think he might know it better than you do, effortlessly puppeteering you into the throws of pleasure. 

 Matty’s cock throbs and twitches in his trousers as the plushness of your thighs start to constrict around his head, smiling into your cunt as he truly does enjoy himself, evident in the way his hips are squirming against the mattress. The blissed-out look on your face only fuels his determination that much more, you’ve lit that familiar, insatiable fire in him. You glance over your shoulder and catch the way his thighs flex as his hips jolt upward into nothing, his dick aching and straining against his pants. You always knew Matty got off on you feeling good, but watching him pathetically hump the air while he eats you out is really getting to your head, you feel a little dizzy with a rush of power. Any sense of worry about putting more of your weight onto him is totally dissolved, overshadowed by the sensations rendering your mind fuzzy. You’re weightless. 

“Tastes so sweet, so fucking good,” he rambles, his voice muffled and wavering, barely audible from under you. 

The urge to own, to ruin flares up in you like a struck match. One of your hands strays from the headboard, reaching to grasp a handful of his meticulously cared-for curls (he pokes fun at the amount of makeup you have, yet his curl-care product collection is extensive). Matty whines, his eyebrows sloping, eyes squeezing shut as he feels your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling on it firmly at the root just the way he likes it. He pulls your hips down onto his face harder, like he’s trying to drown in between your legs. 

“Oh my god… good boy, Matty,” you croon, panting as the tension compounds with every swipe of his tongue.

Matty’s hips buck particularly harshly at your praise. He’s quivering at the slight friction from the tight fabric of his pants, but he won’t allow himself to indulge in more than that, he’s far too preoccupied with satisfying you. You smile hazily at how instantly he reacts to the pet name, curious to know how far you can take this while he’s so pussy drunk.

“So fucking pretty for me like this,” you compliment breathlessly, watching as the half of his face that’s visible to you contorts with neediness. 

He looks like he could burst like a horny balloon, poor thing. The bed is creaking from the way his hips writhe, rose tattoo lifting up to meet the air. He’s eating you out urgently, his brows drawn together tightly as his tongue fucks in and out of you deeper than you’ve ever felt, the tip of his nose nudging at your swollen clit. You tug at his dark tresses again as the feeling makes your whole body tense, your back arching as it all builds to a fizzling high. Matty doesn’t seem to mind one bit as you start to grind more frantically, your head lolling back with a wail. 

“Close, I’m close,” you pant, your chest heaving with shuddering breaths. 

“Please, please, oh, god, cum on my face,” Matty whimpers as he pauses for just a moment, turning his face to breathe before delving back in, fluttering the tip of his tongue rapidly against your clit. 

His begging is what ultimately makes your orgasm crash over you, the tension snapping as you ride the white-hot waves of your orgasm out on his mouth, euphoria rushing through your veins, throbbing at your core. You can’t fully understand him, but what you can make out are garbled moans of your name and babbles of “I love you” as he watches you arch backward, his tongue unrelenting. You let out a cry as the stimulation gets to be too much, your thighs trembling as the sensations crowd you. You have to physically get up off of his face before he stops, gasping for his breath as you settle back down on his hips.

It’s only now that you get to truly see him and god, he’s a beautiful fucking wreck. Your vision is slightly hazy as you peer down at him, the afterglow pleasantly clouding your head as you simply admire him. His eyeliner and mascara have slightly run down his cheeks from the heat, blue eyeshadow smudged and shimmering under his eyes. What’s left of his lipstick is spread around his grinning mouth, glistening with your arousal. Unruly, stray curls stick to his forehead with sweat that glows in an angelic sheen over him. You’ve ruined him, and he couldn’t be happier. 

“Fuck, that was incredible,” you breathe, draping yourself over him to kiss his needy mouth. 

Matty lets out a dazed giggle against your lips, humming contently as you taste yourself lingering on him. When you shift forward, you feel a distinct lack of the hard-on that was against his thigh when you started. Curiously, you pull away from the kiss to find that the protrusion in his trousers is missing, and in its absence, a sizeable wet spot soaked into the fabric. Pride simmers deep inside you as it quickly clicks into place. 

“Matty… did you cum?” you ask, as if it’s not obvious. 

He squirms, biting the inside of his cheek as he glances off to the side like the wall has suddenly become extremely interesting. Your smile is almost wolfish as you lean over him, grasping his jaw with one hand to turn his face towards you. His eyes rimmed with runny makeup get wider. 

“I-I…” he stammers, his voice cracking and trailing off into a little gasp. 

“Felt so good that you came without me even touching you?” 

Matty nods slowly, tilting his chin down to drag his pink-bitten lips against your hand, his breath warm against your skin. 

“Say thank you,” you whisper, purposefully pressing your thigh (still covered in his lipstick marks) against his softening cock, just to get another pretty, breathy sound out of him as his eyes roll back. 

“F-fuck. Thank you. Thank you, baby,” he mumbles, staring up at you like you’re some kind of deity while he kisses the palm of your hand, “don’t go yet, please.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, sweet boy.”

You capture his lips again and he smiles into the kiss, his hands tentatively knotting into your hair and ruffling it. He rolls the two of you over to embrace as you exchange murmurs of sweet nothings. You’re frankly disgustingly in love, and neither of you would have it any other way. 

————————————————————————

This one has been in the works for a whiiiile

I’m dedicating this to Ace @ughgoaway , the biggest makeup fic supporter and one of my dear friends <3

[forcryingoutlloud]

your favourite centrefold

I was bored and wrote this with nasty cherry on repeat do not take any of this seriously anyway

you were aware of the types of men that came to drink in bars like this one at this time of night - more specifically the types of men you simply couldn’t stop coming back for.

matty healy x female reader

content warnings: unprotected sex, dom matty, semi-public sex, cheating, alcohol, face and pussy slapping, cum play, use of “sir” and daddy kink, degradation, manhandling, age gap, rough sex, thigh fucking, slut shaming (??)

minors do not interact!

you were aware of the types of men that came to drink in bars like this one at this time of night - more specifically the types of men you simply couldn’t stop coming back for.

you pull your dress up a little higher, leaving nothing to the imagination as you move further into the room knowing it all too well by now. asking the bartender for your usual poison of choice, you lean up against the dark wood searching for your weekly fill.

It was a tuesday night, nothing too special but you were bored and felt the need to start your weekend early. fortunately for you that meant the place was close to being empty while also meaning your task was much easier - especially when you see him.

you had never seen him before - you would remember every inch of him if you had. sitting at the bar nursing what seemed to be a whiskey was probably the hottest man you had ever seen in your life. the wife beater he was wearing hugged his shoulders and back so perfectly, showing off the number of tattoos covering his arms, as well as grey curls that were mostly slicked back. the few that refused to be tamed making home on his forehead instead.

he was perfect and you needed him.

you finish your drink as fast as possible before making your way towards him. you notice the cigarettes and lighter sitting next to his drink, as well as his open wallet with a picture of what seems to be him and his girlfriend? wife? making the situation so much more fun and him more attractive than you found him before. he finally notices you as you slide up next to him, bracketing him in between yourself and the wall. he gives you a quick glance over, the wetness between your legs pooling by the second as he seems somewhat unimpressed.

you take him in, noticing the light stubble dusting his cheeks while trying not to drown in his scent - a mix of faint cologne, cigarettes and what is definitely another woman’s perfume - before mustering up the courage to actually speak.

“hey.”

he actually fucking smirks at you, seeming to find the situation amusing as he takes a sip of his drink and sighs dramatically. “so, you’re the girl my mate george warned me about, hm?”

your eyes widen, not expecting that to come out of his mouth. endless faces began flowing through your mind until you remember the one he’s talking about. george. he had been both sweet and cruel when you needed him to be, tall and handsome and he had fucked you so, so well in the backseat of his car after you sucked his cock for him in the toilets. how could you forget about george?

If you ever went back in for a second helping, he would be the absolute top of your list. however you had made a promise to yourself when you first started this whole ordeal that you would never fuck the same man twice, and you were determined to keep it that way.

“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re talking about?” you say sweetly, playing innocent and cocking your head to the side, twirling your curls around your fingertips which only had the man shaking his head in fake annoyance.

“unlucky for you, I don’t fuck pretty girls that whore themselves out in dive bars. take your act elsewhere, I’m not interested.”

well, that was new.

you pout, suddenly not liking the surprise of a challenge. usually you had the men that came here drooling after you, unable to resist the temptation of a sweet, young thing begging to be fucked by a much older man in such a degrading way. you swallow your pride, accepting the little game he’s started.

“who said anything about fucking? maybe I just wanted to talk to you. It seems like you are the one with an idea, sir.” you knew adding on the title at the end was asking for trouble but you didn’t really care at this point, again feeling defeated when he doesn’t even flinch. “If you’re offering though, I could be so very good for you. did george tell you how good I am at sucking cock?”

“I thought you didn’t know who that was? good girls don’t lie, princess. especially not to dirty, old men like me.” he warns, slowly losing his patience. you keep up this game of back and forth for a little longer, rubbing his shoulder and smiling coyly. you quickly learn that his name is Matty, going dumb when you eventually notice what is definitely a wedding ring shining proudly on his hand. you turn to batting your eyelashes and giggling a little too loudly just like you knew how instead in hopes it would do something, anything at this point. fuck, he was hot.

his grip on his glass tightens before he finishes the last of the liquor, slamming it down on the top and startling you out of your daydream in the process. he turns back to you, becoming increasingly annoyed as well as desperate the longer you stare back. “sweet, dumb thing. didn’t your daddy ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

“no, you never taught me anything like that, daddy.”

that seems to be what sends him over the edge as he stands up, grabbing your wrist tightly as he pulls you outside. you couldn’t contain your giggles of excitement, high on the adrenaline from the alcohol and the fact that you had actually won and were promised an actual good fuck. he continues to drag you down the side of the building, crowding you up against the wall of the dimly lit alleyway that you had become far too familiar with.

he pushes the hem of your baby pink dress up your thighs, revealing the angelic white lace that barely covers your wetness. he slaps over your covered clit, holding your jaw firmly in place as he does so. “needy little girl, you think this is fun and games, don’t you? all I wanted was to come here for a little quiet drink, to get away from my annoying fucking wife, but here I am stuck putting girls like you in their place.”

you whine loudly as he pushes your panties down your legs, letting them gather down at your heels. you paint the perfect image of a whore and you wouldn’t have it any other way as long as he kept touching you. he roughly spins you around so your face is pressed up against the brick, melting against his hold when you finally hear the zip of his pants.

“what are you smiling at, huh? what’s got you so happy?” he spits, keeping your head in place as he begins to stroke his cock till he’s fully hard which doesn’t take long. you were a little disappointed that you weren’t going to get to see it or feel it on your tongue, but you couldn’t be too upset given the circumstances. you totally forgot he had asked you a question though until he’s slapping your face, cheek blooming under his blow as he demands an answer from you and fast.

you blink a couple times before the brain fog subsides for a second, allowing you to form a somewhat coherent sentence. “m just so happy you’re gonna fuck me, daddy. can’t wait to be full of your cock.” you answer sincerely, anticipating the feel of his length entering you at any second and pushing your ass out in hopes it’ll speed things up.

except it never comes.

Instead, you hear that dark chuckle from earlier come back from behind you. confused, you try and spread your legs but he forcefully closes them again, keeping a hand tightly on the small of your back and holdind you in place. you gasp when you eventually feel the head of his leaking cock press between the gap inbetween your thighs, a drop of precum falling and trickling down them as you realise what is actually happening.

“I thought I told you I wasn’t going to fuck you, or are you just too cock hungry to remember, darling? who knows where this slutty fucking pussy has been?” he reaches round and slaps your clit again, causing you to cry out at the harsh treatment. “that doesn’t mean you get to spend your time teasing me, getting me hard and aching without doing anything about it.” and with that, he pushes his cock directly between your thighs.

he groans loudly, going slow as he adjusts to the tightness of your legs squeezing his cock just right. you whimper as he picks up his pace, slowly realising you weren’t about to get a good fuck at all. you sick basterd.

he uses you like a sex doll, fucking your thighs fast and needily until you can sense he’s about to cum due to the fact he’s the most vocal he’s been the whole night. “such a fucking whore, yeah? letting me use you however I want? getting fucked in some back alley behind a dirty old bar. you should be so proud of yourself honey. I know I am, fuck.”

your cunt clenches at his words, wetness dripping down towards where his cock meets the plush of your thighs. when he feels himself getting close, he quickly pulls out from between them and paints his cum across the backs and the top of your ass, stroking himself though it while reaching around to grope at your tits through the thin material of your dress

when he’s done, he gathers his cum between his fingers and shoves them directly into your neglected cunt, pushing the cum deeper and deeper and almost getting you embarrassingly close to the edge. he then quickly pushes his digits past your pretty pink lips, letting you suck the taste of you both from them as the coolness of his wedding ring keeps pressing against your cheek. “here you go, baby. I’m so kind and thoughtful, how about you thank me for not using your cum dump hm? that’ll give you some time to tighten up before some other perverted, married man gets to fuck you.”

you smile, half dazed and exhausted as the pleasure in your core begins to subside and you’re able to think more clearly. you turn your head, giggling when you realise something that he doesn’t know. you sigh sweetly as you always do, giving him your best doe eyes before saying, “thank you for not fucking my cunt, daddy.”

he never actually fucked you, or even made you cum for that matter, meaning you never broke your only rule. as you lean down to pull up your panties and pull down your dress, you secretly hope that the married man with curly hair decides to come back very soon.

[forcryingoutlloud]

wait this boop thing is so fun why am i late to this