funniestbitchinfaerun

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can't go mumblin about a lack of wyll content if im not gonna saddle up and draw my beautiful prince myself

got a new save (because i figured out how to play with THREE tavs muahaha) and i've been missing wyll's banter and romance absent in my no-companion run. i love him, your honor.

i'm also a big fan of the trend of tieflings getting their horns tangled with wyll's after cuddling seshes, but i realized long-haired updo bitches like me can live that dream too! especially my Songbird and her silly lil side-bun (i'm also aware the first panel and the second don't necessarily hook up in terms of how that tangling works. counterpoint: i made this in an hour, man, ive been job-drawing all month im so tired)

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WIP Wednesday

hello all and welcome to the Sick Zone (I have a cold). thank you to @vividiana for tagging me. can you believe how close we are to the end of KMWBR? i can't!

please enjoy the following Bitchy Brain:

“You have wondered, all along, why you were seemingly placed at the heart of this drama. If you have some special quality that sets you apart even from your illustrious friends. Perhaps you even considered yourself a god’s Chosen. Here, at the end, let me give you the answers you seek.” It paused, the silence almost smug. “You are not special. Nothing sets you apart. You became entangled in this plot through mere chance, and when you die, it will mean nothing. I hope this comforts you.”

i tag @roguishcat, @optimisticgrey, @raethanbhanneth, @thoughts-of-bear and anyone else who would like to participate

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wip wednesday 📝

thank you @amoremagnificentbastard @dramatiquechipmunk @andromedaancunin and @xxnashiraxx for the recent tags 🥰

I come bearing some silly smut from the upcoming chapter of my AU ❤️ fighting the war on porn on the side of porn

no-pressure tags: @funniestbitchinfaerun @deadly-diminuendo @roguishcat @nerdallwritey @verbenaa

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This is how i look when I post a new chapter and wait for the usual suspects to comment on it

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Halsin appreciation post 7/?

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i'm brave enough to say it if none of you are: halsin has been known to cry after very emotionally fulfilling sex

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✨tag some people you’d like to know better✨

thank you for the tag on my main blog @vividiana!!

☀️ Fun Fact: I'm going as a Mushroom Witch for Halloween, and therefore am sewing a tote bag embroidered with magical shrooms

🎥 Currently Watching: Twin Peaks: The Return. Agent Dale Cooper is the character of all time. I like the part where he's wandering around the office basically comatose (from being stuck in the Scary Dimension) but regains his senses when he smells coffee.

🎵 Last Song on Repeat: "Dead American Writers" by Tired Pony. it's a very Kestrel MacDuff-appropriate song (though she is neither dead nor American).

🎬 Last Movie: I rewatched "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" a bit ago. Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell were comedy queens.

📖 Currently Reading: I realize how nerdy this is, but a modern translation of The Canterbury Tales. My favorite character is the Wife of Bath, she would work so well as a modern sitcom character.

🎮 Currently Playing: Just finished up my 5th BG3 run (yet another one with my beautiful daughter Kestrel, lol) and am planning to start Veilguard soon. Specifically because I want to romance that hot guy who has a pet griffin.

🍫 Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I have something of a sweet tooth

❤️ Relationship Status: Single and ready to pringle

🧠 Current Obsession: BG3, Twin Peaks, books by LM Montgomery (she wrote Anne of Green Gables and Emily of New Moon, which I reread recently)

🔍 Last Google Search: "how to recover quickly from a cold." I HATE being sick in the summer.

🎨 Currently Working On: My Halsin/Kestrel longfic, which is SO CLOSE to being done. I only have like 5 chapters left???? Oh, and a smutty oneshot about our intrepid heroes hooking up in Bloomridge Park. Obviously

🏝�� Currently Looking Forward to: My beach mini-vacation this weekend! Send thoughts and prayers that I will not be too sick to enjoy it

I tag EVERYONE who sees this because my brain is too soup to remember urls

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please be aware that there are only 4-5 chapters of KMWBR left. prepare your champagne and caviar for the conclusion

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video game challenge: [5/7] female characters – Lae'zel (Baldur's Gate 3)

If Voss speaks true -- if ascension is a lie, if tadpole purification is a fairy tale... Then I have not sinned against Vlaakith. She has sinned against me.

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If Kestrel had a car she would also have a bumper sticker that said " Do you follow Selûne this closely?"

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DRAMA is occurring on KMWBR this week. also i've been able to release a surprising amount of new chapters lately because i pre-wrote a lot of these dramatic act 3 moments early on in the writing process. LOL

(Had a moment of panic earlier because desktop Tumblr was down. Thank goodness for the app)

You know the drill, tagging @vividiana @roguishcat @greenestcoat

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Did you guys know that originally, each companion, Halsin included, had their own unique background (like Durge with Haunted One)? Halsin's was called Grove Keeper and the description was "Master over a verdant grove that was home to life of all varieties, you have lived a life of peace-making and pain-mending. Forsaking the grove was difficult, but necessary, for the safety of the natural world is in jeopardy, and it is the duty of those with green thumbs and greener souls to aid it."

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Oh.

Uhhh... yaaas served?

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The thing about Gale is that the man is smart. He's self-aware. He's genre-savvy. He knows all about that D&D wizard hubris and makes literary parallels to himself and Karsus multiple times. The man knows the consequences of his actions and already comes with a pre-built 10-step regimen on how to manage his wizard hubris. He has the right analysis of the situation he's found himself in.

So I can't believe some players see all that and go, "Gale didn't do anything wrong actually and it was Mystra who fucked up his life." He tells you what happened and that it was his fault. He outlines and spells it out and explicitly mentions wizard hubris. But some people don't take his evaluation of the situation as level-headed because...what, exactly? One of the smartest characters in the game who had a whole year to self-reflect is too emotional, too damaged, too baby?

People really out there going "um, actually..." to the guy who represents the "um, actually..." class.

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Halsin: Now... now I need to restrain myself until we're afforded a quiet moment. Seek your bedroll when you are ready. But do not expect much sleep.

😳

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chapter 14

a/n: hello I'm back! this is mostly a feel-good chapter, because that's what Eve (and I) needed 🥰

pairing: Astarion x f!Durge · word count: 6.7k

rating: Explicit (18+)

tags: modern AU, witness protection, strangers to friends to lovers (see AO3 for a more exhaustive list)

summary: It’s been over a year since Eve had to uproot her life and assume a new identity—anything to distance herself from the past she wishes she could forget. When an erratic, if oddly charming, newcomer stumbles into her place of work, she recognizes something familiar within him and the two can’t seem to stay away from each other. But Eve is not the only one running from her past.

An alternative, modern take on the Dark Urge x Astarion romance, filled with friendship, secrets, healing, and ABBA.

previous chapter · read on AO3 · dividers

Once Eve and Astarion started spending nights together, they couldn’t seem to stop. It felt only natural for Eve to go to his house and leave the apartment to Lae’zel and Jen, giving both couples some privacy.

Astarion seemed very determined to make sure Eve felt comfortable at his place. She thought the breakfast list was too much, but he didn’t just stop there, the kitchen now stocked with her favorite snacks and drinks (including Pepsi, which he called ‘blasphemous’ and kept secluded in its own fridge drawer of shame.)

It just kept happening. 

One evening, as Eve stepped into the shower, she found her favorite brand of shampoo and conditioner waiting for her. 

Another day, she discovered a small basket in the washroom, full of pads and tampons of different sizes (“I didn’t know what type you preferred, so I got a bunch. I probably should have asked, but you were at work and I didn’t want to bother you. Also can we talk about how fucking expensive these are? That’s preposterous.”) 

Astarion even sectioned off some space in the walk-in closet, so that she could keep some of her clothes there and not have to borrow his all the time.

Lae’zel seemed very amused by this development. On more than one occasion, when stopping by the apartment to grab some things, Eve found a U-Haul flyer shoved under her bedroom door.

And yet, despite how well it was all going, Eve’s doubts started creeping in after a few days. What if Astarion has grown tired of her constant presence, but didn’t want to say anything?

“Should I maybe stay at my place tonight?” she suggests on Saturday morning, head resting on Astarion’s chest.

“Is this accommodation not to your liking?” he asks, fingers combing lazily through her hair. “Anything we could do to improve your stay?”

“No, it’s perfect, I just– I don’t want to, like, intrude on your space all the time.”

Astarion’s fingers shift to her chin and Eve lifts her head to look at him. There is nothing but fondness in his gaze as he speaks:

“Darling, if I need more alone time, I’ll let you know,” he assures her. “But it just so happens that I am quite fond of your company. So if you’d rather sleep at your place, then go ahead, but you don’t have to do it for my sake.”

“Okay,” she says after a moment, chest swelling with feelings that she has been trying her best to ignore for now. “In that case, I’d rather stay.”

“Delightful,” he says with a smile so genuine, it leaves no room for doubt.

(read more on AO3)

taglist: @roguishcat @arzen9 @nerdalmighty @irondeficienttav ✨ (lmk if you'd like to be added! or removed, no shame in changing your mind)

my masterlist

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