funniestpersonalivefr

[funniestpersonalivefr]

BOOM SHAKALAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[funniestpersonalivefr]

The only reason I haven’t slept with this man Is because he’s playing hard to get.

(He’s fictional btw)

[funniestpersonalivefr]

chris redfield has the worst baby fever known to man, the moment he sees his partner doing well with a kid he's like no we need one now.

and he means now,

you'll spend the rest of your night getting bred but it's not like you're complaining.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

rubber duckies and all

me when i disappear for months and drop a random fic. anyways have some fun in the bath with chris (not like that freaks). no gender mentioned for reader and there's obviously implied nudity, chris is in the bath. also typical re trauma mentioned. not proofread, it never is. enjoy!

chris was a massive man, this wasn't a secret. everyone around him was aware of his giant frame. while it was an advantage within his work, his brute strength was used to save lives. at home it was a different story.

many things felt too small for him, especially bathtubs. it had essentially been years since chris was actually able to take a nice bath, usually opting to run you one but never joining. however when you moved into your new house, the enormous tub was definitely something he was not so secretly excited for.

he had gotten home from work, thankfully just doing paper work when you gave him a kiss and dragged him into the master bath. the tub was already full with bubbles and even some rubber duckies sitting along the edge.

"figured you could use some pampering for once," you said to him as you lean against him. he felt his heart warm at the gesture. you helped him strip down before guiding him as he eased down into the warm water. you smiled as he placed a duck in the bath with him, his own smile appearing to mirror yours.

you sat on the edge of the tub, leaning in to give him a kiss. the two of you sitting in a comfortable silence as he relaxed for a bit. chris leaned back, ducking the back of his head into the water looking up at you. he closed his eyes, his face more relaxed than it had been in weeks.

his eyes only opened when you nudged him while reaching for the shampoo. the two of you had mastered wordless communication, a skill picked up from the weeks after missions when chris couldn't bring himself to speak of the horrors he had witnessed. he sat up in a slow motion, turning slightly to give you more room.

the bathroom was quiet except for the sounds of the bubbles and waters before the shampoo sound cut through as it left the bottle. you massaged it into his scalp, humming a soft tune to him. if his eyes were open you wouldve saw them roll into the back of his head.

chris had titled his head back as you began to rinse his hair, pressing kisses to his forehead. after repeating for conditioner, the two of you had found yourself sitting there in the bathroom, discussing small mundane things like work drama, what you had for lunch, and how your day had went.

"thank you," chris said, softly.

"you don't have to thank me, you deserve this treatment," you said back, placing a kiss on his cheek. "now, how about i go cook us some dinner and then we can watch a movie after?" you began to stand, "take as much time as you need chris, ill be here when you're done." with one last kiss you were gone and chris had found himself sitting in the bathtub wondering why days like this couldn't last forever.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

live photos of me reading the fem! reader one shots bc i couldnt find any good trans reader fics

[funniestpersonalivefr]

leon loves when you sit back and let him give you head, he'll moan in and around you as he pathetically grinds his hims into the mattress, fucking himself stupid on it. he can't help it when he cums in his boxers; you just taste so good.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

id like to believe that the resident evil characters get together for the holidays; sherry is of course being jake with her to see leon and claire. claire had to invite chris who dragged along jill and rebecca. chris even sent an invite out to sheva. jill always invites carlos but usually just gets a card back but even then they stay connected. their families are gone after all, they might as well come together.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

chris redfield is the white guy who really fucks with keeping the fire going at bonfires.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

jill valentine has a habit of leaving you breathless. sometimes it's the sight of her in the morning, brunette hair tossed across the pillow. sometimes it's when she gives you a smile, a real genuine smile that is contagious. and sometimes it's when she presses her lips against yours, as if she's collecting the air from your lungs as she holds you close with her passion practically devouring you.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

so it's been awhile

[funniestpersonalivefr]

IM TIRED OF PRENTENDING IM A WOMAN LET ME HAVE GAY ANGST UNHAPPY TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH GREGORY HOUSE

[funniestpersonalivefr]

Take off your fucking glasses.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

[funniestpersonalivefr]

[funniestpersonalivefr]

Re2 Leon and I won't take any arguments

[funniestpersonalivefr]

me scrambling to fit every leon in my mouth

[funniestpersonalivefr]

Very old drawing I did awhile back and never got a chance to post

Based on this