#chris redfield x reader

[tipsyleaf]

NSFW ALPHABET

[DI! Chris Redfield Edition]

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Concerned is the best word to describe it. Chris would pull you to his chest, kiss your head and make sure you're okay. He's always scared of going too far or hurting you on accident. Would definitely be rubbing your back, giving you gentle reassuring kisses and telling you how much he loves you. Plays with your hair. You even take a bath together on occasion afterwards.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

On him, definitely his shoulders/chest. He's a big man and has spent years of his time building up a strong and intimidating appearance. Plus he loves how you stare at him when his chest flexes if he lifts something without his shirt on.

On you, your ass. Chris is an ass man and no one can tell me otherwise. That man is constantly smacking your ass as you do mundane things or just walking by. Probably gropes you while cooking when no one's paying attention.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside. This man has a breeding kink. Loves burying himself balls deep just to cum and watch it dribble out slowly.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Panty thief. Whenever he's scheduled to leave you two always say goodbye with a quickie and he snatches your panties to take with him in one of his uniform pockets. He just likes having a little piece of you with him constantly, that's all.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Chris definitely fucks. Barely gets to enjoy the normalcies of life, like sex. Probably had a lot of flings in his 20s but once he met you he gets to use his collected talents on someone special.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Full Nelson. Hands down his absolute favorite position. He's got you at his full mercy. Holding you in place, making you bounce on his cock. All you can do is sit there and take it?? Chef's kiss~

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Usually not goofy but if there's a silly sound or something happens that isn't supposed to he'll definitely chuckle, reassure you with a smile and keep going.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Trimmed. Chris is a fucking bear of a man. Definitely very very hairy but trimmed not shaved.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Definitely very romantic. Always kind and carrying. Trying to be gentle unless the mood isn't called for it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jerking off use to be second nature to him but now he barely ever does it. Only if he's away for extended periods of time or under some serious stress that even worries him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding, Bondage, Dacryphilia, Daddy kink, Dirty talk, Somnophilia and body worship

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere private. Chris isn't picky when it comes to getting in your pants.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Teasing and your body more than anything. Often he gets saucy texts or pictures from you and he's definitely coming to collect payment of your promises next time he sees you.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Nothing with physical harm, no bathroom related kinks or blood play.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

CHRIS IS A MUNCH! Absolutely WORSHIPS pussy any chance he gets!

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Situational. Usually he likes taking his time but sometimes he just needs to be rough after a stressful mission or day.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Often has quickies. He's a busy man, but he has needs just like his partner.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Chris isn't above being risky. If he wants you badly enough he's finding the nearest quiet private place to get what he wants.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Chris is like a machine running on Energizer batteries. He can keep going until he's physically unable to...

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

For sure owns a wand, ropes, handcuffs and even a few blindfolds.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Chris is a massive tease. But if you do it back to him you're in for a world of torture.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Grunts a lot, curses under his breath and fairly quiet.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Currently teaching himself shibari. Desperately wants to put you in one of those pretty full body suspensions.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Chris is packing heat on him. He's a big man and carries himself as such. Above average, shower not a grower. The kind of dick that makes him unable to wear gray sweatpants.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High sex drive. Constantly wants to touch you all over and feel you under his finger tips.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He stays awake quite a while after sex. Mainly likes admiring you in the after glow of it all.

[wxnheart]

He's missing you, missing his baby, and he can't help it. Can't help but think of your touch, your scent, and the way you say his name. The way you love him. Can't help but think of the way you plead for more as he fucks you, as your legs wrapped around his waist trembles with each thrust and he knows he's bringing it home.

Shit.

And so he calls you. Wants to hear your voice, wants to hear you want him the way he wants you. Wants to hear you tell him you love him. He calls you and makes you touch yourself for him, makes you tell him who you belong to. And fuck if the way you say his name isn't heaven to his ears.

He doesn't touch himself. Doesn't want to even though he's rock fucking hard. Just wants to bask in your pleasure and so he does, closing his eyes and listening to the music of your moans, biting back a groan of his own as you cum and he ruins his pants with the intensity of his own orgasm. Damn. He likes this pair, too.

But it doesn't matter, not when he's thinking of how fucking beautiful you always look after you've cum, when you're both basking in the afterglow and your love is once again reaffirmed. And he can't wait to get home. Can't wait to get to you. Can't wait to feel you under him and hear heaven once again.

Can't wait to hear you want him the way he wants you.

[dollfacefantasy]

would you write a threesome w leon and chris… because… like maybe leon is your (older,,, like death island) boyfriend and he introduces you to his friend chris!! and idk you three end up having a threesome (consensual)… and you’re embarrassed because. you’ve never done this before n you’re all clingy with leon (maybe daddy kink??) n he’s like comforting you as he and chris fuck you at the same time ?!?!?

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader x chris redfield

summary: your boyfriend leon wants you to get a little more comfortable with his friend chris.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, double penetration, oral (f receiving), fingering, daddy kink, size kink, age gap, dacryphilia

word count: 6.6k

a/n: thank you anon for sending this idea, it's right up my alley fr. also thank you for sending it again after i fumbled the bag the first time🤭🫶. the next threesome fic will be coming soon, i just ended up having more inspo for this one lol. hope you guys like it. reblogs and comments are super appreciated <3

tags: @sleepyluxe @kaitkatme @tosuckmyweenis @pupthepokemonenthusiast @bizzarethirst @death-paint @petitecolibri @iron-toxinz @wildest-dreams-at-midnight @nexysworld @explorevenus @luniaxi

“I’m just saying I think you both would really like it if you gave it a try,” you say, a bright smile on your face as you walk up the path to your and Leon’s shared place. Him and his friend trail behind you with equally pleased looks, the friend in question being Chris Redfield.

“No way. I did try it, and it was boring. Slow and drawn out. Also, it’s so unrealistic,” Chris says.

“Booooo. It’s not even slow. Stuff happens in like every single episode, at least in the early seasons,” you argue in an attempt to convince the pair to watch one of your favorite shows, “I just think there’s a lot you guys would like about it if you weren’t so impatient.”

“Babe, it’s got like, what? Over five seasons? I don’t have that kind of time,” your boyfriend replies.

You playfully roll your eyes and unlock the front door, stepping inside followed by the two men you were with. “Whatever. I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go change cause this skirt is like super itchy,” you tell them.

Before you can walk away, you feel a familiar palm swat your ass. “It’s like super cute though, shows off those pretty legs,” Leon teases, his tone affectionately mocking.

You whip around to shoot him a glare, face hot with a mixture of emotions, mainly embarrassment with a pinch of arousal. 

“Leon,” you whisper, giving him a look that says not in front of Chris. 

He simply chuckles at your quiet protest and shakes his head with amusement, ruffling your hair and planting a kiss on your forehead before sending you off. You catch Chris’s gaze as you turn to leave. To your surprise, he isn’t rolling his eyes or visibly wishing for the two of you to get a room. He’s smiling. His expression is different from the one you were used to seeing on Leon, but it still held the same patronizing adoration that soaked your panties in seconds.

Brushing it off as your imagination, you scamper down the hall to the bedroom. You hum to yourself as you drop your skirt and kick it into the laundry. Rifling through your drawers to find something more comfortable to wear, your hands search through some different clothes before settling on a pair of loose pink shorts. After pulling the soft garment over your legs, you look in the mirror and then decide to slip your bra off too.

Sure, some people would frown on that move, but you were in your place and it’s not like Chris is a total stranger. He was one of your boyfriends closest friends. You’d hung out with him and Leon together multiple times, and from what you gathered, he was pretty cool. It’s not like the two of you were best friends yourself. Like your boyfriend, he was quite a bit older than you. But just as you bridged that gap with Leon, so far it seemed like you managed to bridge it with him too. To say the least, he didn’t strike you as the type to have an episode over your nipples peeking through your shirt.

Unbeknownst to you however, while your thoughts lingered on the men down the hall, their conversation centered around you as well. They had taken to the couch, sitting close to each side and leaving a space for you in the middle.

“She’s a cute little thing,” Chris chuckles, watching the hallway you had gone down.

“Mhm,” Leon confirms simply. He was scrolling through the tv, trying to find that show you’d been talking about.

His friend looks over at him. “You sure she’ll wanna do this?” he asks with some uncertainty in his voice, “She doesn’t seem like the kind of girl who’s had a whole lot of experience with this type of thing.”

“Trust me, she’ll be into it. I can’t even tell you how wet she gets just from talking about shit like this,” he reassures, “You just gotta let me ease her into it.”

Chris opens his mouth to respond, but he cuts himself short once he hears your footsteps approaching. You bound back into the room. Your eyes catch on the way they’re sitting, closer than you would expect. They still left room for you though, so what does it matter, right?

You hop onto the couch and tuck yourself against your boyfriend’s side, gently kissing his jaw as you get comfortable and curl up on the cushion. He smiles down at you and returns the affection. He pulls you closer, but your feet are still brushing Chris’s thigh with how close he is.

“We were thinking we could watch an episode of that show you were talking about, see if we really would like it,” Leon tells you.

“Really?” you ask, a little surprised, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine, baby. Chris doesn’t feel like driving home just yet, and you know if you’re happy, I’m happy,” he says.

You look over at Chris who nods. With that, Leon puts on the show. The familiar intro music plays and you watch the screen as a scene that you’d seen a million times plays out. You sink into his side, settling against his warm body. The episode plays, and you point out little things you like or remember something specific about. Both men nod and chuckle at your excited remarks.

Even though the couch and cuddling are comfy, your legs start getting a bit cramped from being curled up for an extended amount of time. You squirm around a bit, wanting to just stretch out. Chris prevented you from doing that as his bulky frame occupied the space your legs could be.

Leon smirks as he notices your restlessness. He shifts around a bit himself and leans back further into the couch. His feet rise up and land on the coffee table a few feet away, his legs stretching out in front of him. He doesn’t even have to see your face to know your eyes catch on his limbs. Their state of being outstretched only makes your need to do the same more intense. He gives Chris a quick glance.

“You uncomfortable, honey?” the larger man asks you.

Your eyes dart up to meet his. Hearing that pet name coming from anyone else but Leon left you flustered. You tried to reason that it didn’t mean anything. This was clearly another instance of you overthinking. Maybe Chris was just the type of guy who said that sort of thing? The kind that called cashiers sweetheart or darling. The kind who’d put your hand on your waist when saying excuse me. You didn’t remember him acting like this any of the other times you’d met him though. He was always polite with you, but that was about it. Maybe you just didn’t notice before?

“Um… I’m fine. Just a little cramp,” you explain.

He smiles at you, that same kind from earlier. “Well, I don't bite. You can stretch your legs out if you want to, princess,” he teases.

Princess. Ok that was definitely something. That name was reserved solely for the man whose arm was around you, and it usually came out only when he was prepping you to take his cock. You typically heard it as a coo when you were already crying out your own special name for him. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. The two just went hand in hand. Honestly, you couldn’t really hear one without the other following close behind.

That’s why you get all timid and shy so easily. You were pretty sure Leon had psychologically conditioned you or something. Just a few touches in the right place, some words whispered in your ear in the perfect hushed tone, and you were a goner. Suddenly, your brain would feel soft and malleable. Urges appear within you to sit in his lap and cuddle. You’d just wanna look up at your daddy with dazed eyes and have him stick something in your mouth.

And sure, it wasn’t like you were brainwashed or something. You still possessed self control. It wasn’t like he’d pet your head and call you his baby, and you’d instantly lose yourself over it. It was just a slow slip into this side of your personality, and being around Chris didn’t exactly deter those feelings from coming out either because just look at him. He looked like he was meant to be called daddy. Whenever Leon would tease you in front of him, it felt like you soaked your panties even quicker than normal.

You're snapped out of your analysis of this moment when you feel a large, warm hand wrap around your ankle. He pulls your leg out, and in-turn, drags you closer. A soft squeak escapes you as your body slides down Leon’s. Your back is still resting against his side, just lower. More of you is spread across the sofa, and your calves were fully in Chris’s lap.

You look up at your boyfriend to see his response to his friend’s action, but he didn’t even seem interested. He barely spared you a second glance in your new position, simply adjusting his arm to accommodate the new location of your head. He wraps it below your jaw and has you rest your chin on the bend of his elbow. His fingers start rubbing soothing, little circles on your shoulder. Meanwhile, Chris’s large palms merely rest on your legs. He gives you a smile before turning his eyes back to the tv screen. You quickly follow suit. If he wasn’t thinking this was weird, you weren’t going to make it weird by dwelling on it.

For a while, it’s fine. The three of you continue watching the show, albeit a little more quiet than before. Leon’s hand remains on your shoulder and keeps up his light touches. Your body relaxes again though as you let go of any nervousness you had. But then, Chris starts moving his hand too.

His palm smooths out over your lower leg. His other hand rubs your ankle, his fingertips coasting over the joint. One is moving in long strokes while the other stays in tight circles, but both go at a sensual pace, slow and teasing.

Your head turns to look at him again, but you find his stare is still on the characters of the tv show. You watch his hands move. They’re now essentially massaging your legs. His hand that had been lower has risen and works on the muscles, digging his warm digits into the flesh.

You squirm a little, trying to alert your boyfriend that his friend was touching you in a way that seemed more than friendly. It doesn’t work though. If he does see, he doesn’t mind because he simply leans down and plants a gentle kiss on the top of your head before reverting to his same position. You almost felt crazy for a second. This wasn’t normal, was it? Had you just lived your life not knowing that it was a regular thing for a boyfriend’s friend to give you a massage like this? Was Leon ok with it cause he was there so it couldn’t go too far? You really had no clue.

If you were being honest though, Chris’s hands didn’t feel bad. Not at all. They felt really good. They were big and warm and moved with strategy. They hit all your sweet spots. Kinda made you wanna crawl into his lap so he could rub more of your body, but that was the problem. This wasn’t right. You felt that saccharine heat creeping up your spine and seeping into your head, but you shouldn’t be feeling that for anyone else besides the man behind you.

Now guilt casts a shadow over you too, and the pair of emotions was a volatile mix. You didn’t even realize it, but your nipples had started to stiffen. Your thighs shift against each other, and had you really been paying attention, you would have seen the way Chris’s lips slightly quirked up into a smirk. Your body gets a little tense as you run through the possibilities of what you should do in this situation.

As if Leon could sense your thoughts racing, his hand lowers and starts rubbing your arm. Deciding to remain where you are for now, you press your cheek against his bicep for comfort. Not that you could see, but just like Chris, his expression grows smug. His hand readjusts again so it’s closer to your chest. Your eyes widen as he basically starts feeling you up. His hand squeezes your breast before his fingers circle your nipple, gently tweaking the hardened bud. 

At the same time, the hands on your legs start moving higher. The broad strokes begin meeting your thighs too. Little bumps of anticipation erupt across your skin. You already knew your center would soon be slick. 

Your head feels hot now. It made you feel a weird kind of dizzy. Even though it was only a few hands and simple touches, it was so much. Combined with the fact that it was so unusual, you started feeling overwhelmed. Your pulse pounds in your ears and your hands feel tingly. You feel a whimper rising in your throat. When he finally glides his hands up to the hem of your shorts, your legs jerk and you scoot back.

By the time Chris looks over, you’re already in Leon’s lap, arms around him, face buried against his neck. He’s worried for a second that something was seriously wrong. Profuse apologies rush to the tip of his tongue, but Leon signals him to just wait.

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” he coos, a hand sliding beneath your shirt to rub your back. Of course, he knew the answer already. He knew exactly how you got with this kind of stuff which is why he knew exactly how to handle it.

You end up simply shaking your head, unable to articulate the exact reason for your distress. Because really, nothing was wrong. Everything felt right. But it shouldn’t feel right? Maybe that’s what was wrong. That’s too much for your mouth to get out while you feel like this though.

“Aw, is my pretty girl feeling shy?” he whispers and strokes your hair.

You nod, pulling back a little to reveal your face and look up at the familiar set of eyes you found so much comfort in. He gives you a small kiss of reassurance before continuing to coax you with his low and soothing tone.

“Oh sweetheart, why are you shy? You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about,” he says.

“Because…” you start softly, nervously glancing at Chris only to see him watching the entire exchange. You force your attention back to your boyfriend. “Because Chris is here.”

His chest rumbles with a low laugh. “Oh, princess. That’s not a reason. Didn’t you like how Chris was touching you? Wasn’t he making you feel good?”

“I guess…” you admit.

“See? You don’t have to be embarrassed around daddy’s friend. He only wants to play with you because you’re so cute,” he teases and lands a barrage of kisses on your cheek.

You were going to freak out about him using the d word in front of someone else, but looking over at Chris, he didn’t look at all shocked. His eyes were soft and comforting as they watched you, but you were still a little uncertain. You turn your face back into Leon. He keeps rubbing your back and holds you a little closer on his lap.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, baby. I just think you’d have a lot of fun,” Leon says softly, “You know how wet that pretty pussy gets thinking about someone else watching you with daddy, joining in because he just can’t resist a good girl like you.”

He was right. He knew your fantasies like the exact situation playing out in your living room right now. But it was scarier when it was real. You didn’t have the control anymore. That's what made it exciting too though.

“It’s just Chris, honey,” he continues reassuring you, “He’d never hurt you. He thinks you're as precious as I do. But even still, daddy’s gonna be here the whole time. You know I’d never let anything hurt my girl.”

You soften up more, relaxing under Leon’s touch and tender words. As you’re thinking it over, leaning towards going through with this, Chris scoots closer to the two of you on the couch. He tentatively places his hand on your leg and caresses your skin.

“It’s up to you, babydoll,” he says, “I only wanna help your daddy make you feel good.”

Oh god. He was a natural at this, talked down to you just the way you liked.

“See, princess? There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Leon says. He strokes some of your hair back and watches as you look at the other man, deciding whether to let him in or not. He chuckles in your ear. “He’s acting cool, but you don’t know how bad he’s been wanting a turn with you. I’m sure you’ve seen him staring. Sometimes I think he’s practically drooling watching you. You know he goes home and strokes his dick raw, wishing it was your pretty little hands instead.”

It’s obvious there’s some truth to Leon’s statement from the way Chris remains silent. Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you mull it over. Why was it so bad? You wanted it and they both wanted it. Why should you stop yourself?

You look up at your boyfriend and nod, silently communicating that you wanted this. He smiles and shifts you in his lap so that you’re in a more accessible position. One hand rubs your inner thighs while his other arm stays wrapped around your body to hold you close. 

Upon seeing your confirmation, Chris comes even closer. As he gets situated, Leon leans in and connects his lips with yours in a few soft kisses. Your noses brush and breathing deepens. He strokes your cheek before pulling away and looking in your eyes.

“Why don’t you try that with Chris, baby? Give him some of those kisses he’s been dreaming about,” he breathes.

Your focus shifts to the man sitting to your boyfriend’s right. Eyes casting down, you bring your head forward, and Chris closes the gap. Your breath hitches when you feel the unfamiliar lips meet your own. They’re noticeably different from the pair you were used to, but it wasn’t a bad different.

You move your lips with his, shuddering a little when you feel him grunt. He struggles not to take more than what you give. Leon watches on with a grin, stroking your hair and making sure it was out of your face. Your hand maintains an iron grip on him the entire time. 

“Such a good girl,” he purrs in your ear.

All three of you had long stopped paying attention to the tv, so Leon shuts it off. He then leans in to suck little love bites onto your throat. You whine into your kisses with his friend. The sound causes you to open your mouth, allowing Chris to slip his tongue in to meet yours. You moan and reciprocate the advance. His smiles against your lips as his hand glides up and gropes at one of your breasts, drawing another whimper from you.

Several hickeys later, Leon removes his mouth from your neck to admire his work. His fingers drag over the wet, darkened skin. He licks one more stripe over the area before leaning back and pulling you with him. You’re slightly out of breath, eyes dilated, and lips a bit puffy.

“Aw, look at that face,” Leon teases, talking more to Chris than you, “She loves her kisses. Sometimes I think she likes it more than the actual fucking.”

“I could tell. All those sweet sounds she was making,” Chris chuckles. His chest rises and falls in a pattern similar to yours.

“Oh yeah, so sensitive, my baby,” Leon coos, “You wanna go sit in Chris’s lap and give him some more kisses?”

You shake your head and tighten your grip on his hand. They both smile at your timid display.

“My mistake. You just gotta give her some time to adjust. She’s not used to anyone but daddy. Isn’t that right?” Leon jokes.

You nod and snake your arms around him, hiding your face against his chest again. He couldn’t get enough of how clingy you became when you felt like this.

“No, no. No more being shy. C’mon, his lips still have your spit on ‘em. There’s no reason for you to hide,” he teases you and guides your head back up to see your eyes, “You still wanna do this, don’t you?”

You nod again, looking up at him with those loving eyes.

“That’s what I thought, so how about this?” he starts. He gets your arms to unlock from their position around him and tucks his fingers beneath the hem of your shirt. “How about we show daddy’s friend more of this precious body, yeah?”

You lift your arms and allow him to tug the fabric up and over your head. Your breasts spring free, but his hands are immediately there to cup them, knead the flesh, and tease your nipples. From his place next to the two of you, Chris’s eyes drop to the swell of your chest.

“You’re even prettier than Leon told me, baby,” he coos before leaning in, giving you one more kiss and then trailing his lips down the side of your throat. They glide over the warm skin and across the expanse of your chest.

Your boyfriend’s hands drop from your breasts, letting Chris’s take their place. You shift and lean back so your back is pressed to Leon’s chest, giving the other man more access. He fondles them before latching his mouth onto a nipple, his tongue swirling around the little peak. A little sigh escapes your lips to the pleasure of both men.

“I think she likes that, Chris,” Leon croons, his hands rubbing up and down your sides.

Chris sucks on the pebbled nub a bit more before alternating to the other one. He spends less time over there before just kissing all over your chest.

“Got such pretty tits,” he grunts, laving a tongue across your skin.

Your face heats up at the compliment, and of course, Leon knew without even having to look. He could tell by the slight way you squirmed your hips on his lap.

“Aw, princess. You like when daddy’s friend calls you pretty?” he coos. Once he sees your little nod, he continues. “How about you let him pull down your shorts and see how cute your cunt is next.”

You agree to this with no hesitation, trying to elevate your hips so he could remove your clothing. Chris smirks at your overt desire. In a quick move, he scoots back and pulls by your hips so that you’re laying across the couch again. Your head is on Leon’s thigh so you can look up at him while your fingers remain tightly interlaced with his.

The larger man peels your shorts off and then your panties. He gazes upon your dripping cunt. His thumb drags up and down through your slick in an exploratory touch.

“Oh, honey,” he breathes, circling your clit. His hand moves down again before he slides two fingers into your hole. “You’re gonna take our cocks so well. Pussy this pretty is made for that.”

You suck in a gasp that turns into a long whine as his digits fill you up. His fingers were nice and thick, filling you up just right. Your eyes flutter, and your head presses against Leon’s thigh. Chris starts pumping them in and out, stroking your inner walls.

“That’s right, baby,” Leon reassures you, “He’s gonna open you up, and you’re gonna feel so good.”

A breathy whimper falls from your lips. Your hips rock a little, but Chris allows it, enjoying your enthusiasm as you become more comfortable. You feel his fingers curling within you in motions that drive you wild and have your hands grabbing at the edges of the couch cushion beneath you.

“There you go, sweet baby. Am I doing it right?” Chris asks teasingly. With your frantic nod, he works a third finger into you. Your eyes roll back and you choke out a moan.

Leon smiles down at you and strokes your hair. His bulge grows harder, watching you get so wound up for his friend.

“Make sure you rub her pretty little clit, Chris. She loves that,” he says, “Might be a little sore since she likes to play with it so much.”

Chris grins at that, taking his turn to tease you now. “Is that right? You like playing dirty, princess? I bet you can’t help it. Cute girls like you get needy so easy. Can’t think without making yourself cum every few hours, yeah?”

“Mhm,” you whimper and nod.

“I’ll be gentle then. Think your sweet spot just needs some special kisses,” he coos.

He bends down so his mouth can be level with your cunt, a bit of a challenge with his size, but he manages. His lips meet your clit and give you some soft kisses. A little flick of the tongue and the light movement of his flesh against your sensitive bundle of nerves has your walls fluttering around him, little mewls escaping your lips.

Then, with a harsh suck to your clit, he works a fourth finger inside you. Your legs kick a little, but he simply slides them to rest on his shoulders. Every little twitch next to his head has more of his blood rushing south. Your hips buck too as you adjust to the minor stretch.

“You’re daddy’s perfect girl, you know that right? Girl of my fuckin’ dreams. Doing so good for me right now,” your boyfriend says from above you. His eyes watch on fondly as Chris slides basically his entire hand in and out of you. “Think you can cum for Chris, baby? Gush all over his fingers so it’s nice and easy for him and daddy to fill you up?”

You nod quickly. 

Chris sucks harder on your clit and flicks his tongue against you with more fervor. His hand finds a rhythm that you seemed to like, had you twitching more than before. He could hear your voice rising to a higher pitch.

“C’mon, pretty girl. Make your daddy proud,” he murmurs against your folds.

You really don’t know what it was, but that phrase does you in. You turn your face against Leon’s hip, dig your fingers into his palm, and erupt into a frenzy of whining and bucking your hips. 

Chris continues his efforts, relishing the sensation of your slick coating his fingers and palm. His lips gradually loosen on your swollen bud. He gives it a few more licks before sitting up and gazing down at your blissed out body.

They both give you a second to rest before Leon sits you up on the couch. He gives you a quick kiss and looks into your eyes, hazy from release.

“Think you’re ready for daddy and Chris to fuck you?” he coos and rubs your cheek.

“Mhm,” you hum, returning his loving stare.

“Of course you are. My sweet girl,” he says.

The two men don’t waste time undressing themselves. Clothing piles up on the ground as they match your nudity. Both of them stand as they undo their belts and drop their pants. You’d seen Leon’s dick a hundred times by now. You watch him pull it out and give it a few strokes. The tip flushes bright red like always, a couple familiar veins span up the side. You turn your attention to Chris, looking upon a sight you hadn’t seen before.

You’re snapped out of your post-orgasm stupor when you catch a glimpse of the appendage hanging between Chris’s legs. Just like every other part of him, it’s noticeably thick. The length was good too, sure, but it wasn’t the main attraction. His cock didn’t get as red as Leon’s, but it still had the veins. He even had a few beads of white, sticky precum leaking from the head.

“Oh, you like what you see, baby?” Leon teases when he notices your wonder, “I’m sure Chris would be happy to let you suck on it next time.”

“Daddy, it’s not gonna fit,” you say, looking up at him and ignoring the tempting idea of giving Chris a blowjob.

He smiles down at you, simultaneously condescending and affectionate. “Of course it will. C’mere, princess,” he says. 

In no time at all, Leon’s back on the couch, guiding you on top of him. You crawl to meet the place he’s directing you. Lowering yourself against him, your front rests against his and your head lies near the crook of his neck. The warmth of his body comforts you but not enough to push out your concerns completely.

“You don’t have to worry, sweetheart. I’m gonna get you nice and comfy on daddy’s cock, and then Chris will just slide right in,” he reassures you, “You’re gonna feel so good. You just let me take care of everything.”

His arm had already slithered beneath your hip to line up his shaft with your entrance. He runs the tip through your soaked folds then pushes in. A whiny moan escapes you, and your arms wrap tighter around him. The feeling wasn’t a new one, but it still felt so good. He works himself in and out slowly, hips rocking off the couch in small thrusts.

“That’s my girl, taking it just like you’re meant to. I’ve got you trained so well,” he murmurs against your hair.

The entire time, you feel Chris’s eyes on you. His pupils fixated on the sight of Leon pumping in and out of your gushing cunt. You hear him spit down onto his hand and know he’s started to stroke himself in anticipation. Other than that, he stays quiet, locked onto you sucking up every inch of your boyfriend's cock.

Leon continues gliding in and out. You feel the muscles in his chest and neck straining with the pleasure your pulsing walls give him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet. Chris did a good job with you,” he groans. His breaths become ragged as he staves off true euphoria. This couldn’t end too quickly. “You know, babydoll, I don’t think you said thank you to Chris for making you feel so good. That’s not very nice.”

You whimper as your brain registers the implication of his words. At the moment, you were more focused on rolling your hips with Leon’s, but you force some words out of your mouth cause you’re a good girl after all.

“Sorry daddy,” you say, cut off by a whine as he pokes a sensitive spot, “T-thank you, Chris.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he responds. You can hear the satisfaction in his voice, but you don’t have the chance to linger on it since you feel his broad palm land on the small of your back. His fingers rub the skin gently, as if to keep you calm while he positions himself on his knees behind you. You whine again and cling harder to Leon.

“You can say thank you better than that, baby,” he teases, trying to keep any fear away from you. He presses a kiss to your temple as well and rubs your back, “What are you thanking him for?”

“Thank you for making me cum, Chris. Your fingers and kisses felt so good,” you whimper, adding on the last bit before Leon could correct you further.

“Oh, you’re welcome,” he repeats with excessive adoration, “You deserve it for being such a good girl. Besides, that pussy was so fucking sweet, makes me want another taste.”

You squeeze around Leon and bite your lip as your lower belly erupts with butterflies. And then you feel it. You feel the hot tip of Chris’s heavy cock nudging at your entrance above Leon’s. You tense and dig your fingers into the flesh of his back.

“Just relax, baby. You’re gonna be just fine. Daddy’s right here,” he coos and holds you tighter against his chest.

“You ready?” Chris asks softly.

You squeeze your eyes shut but nod, waiting to feel the stretch.

And it comes right away. You gasp as another cock enters you. Whining, your hands scramble to grab at something. Leon takes one and squeezes it lovingly, pausing his thrusts. You bury your face against his skin, your chest erratically puffing as you try to accommodate the sizes. Both men are groaning, eyes fluttering or rolled back, muscles flexing as they take in the tight, wet heat engulfing them.

“Doing so good, pretty girl, so good,” Leon mutters.

You can’t fathom any kind of response. The burning sensation of both of them was still so intense and from what you could tell, Chris wasn’t even all the way in yet. He was still pushing forward as far as he could. At a certain point, you can’t fight off the tears pricking at your waterline. Your free hand clamps over your mouth as a choked cry tumbles out.

“So fucking tight, I could cum right now,” Chris grunts.

Leon’s hand covers your right hip, tracing tiny soothing circles over your skin. Chris occupies your left, digging his fingers into the flesh. The subtle difference between the two sides drives you further into the throes of ecstasy.

When Chris manages to bully his cock nearly all the way inside you, as deep as it could go at least, Leon feels your hot tears sliding off your cheeks and pooling on his chest.

“Oh, poor baby,” he croons. He lets go of your hand for a second to swipe a few drops away, but then he takes it back. “You ok, honey? Too much for you?”

You weakly shake your head that it wasn’t too much, sniffling between whimpers. They’ve both stopped now to let you get used to the entirety of them. The site of your connection pulses with need on all three accounts. You feel Chris gripping you a little harder in an effort to keep his composure.

“My tough girl, so brave for daddy. Makin’ me so proud,” he whispers and kisses your hairline.

“So fuckin’ pretty too. You look gorgeous all filled up like this,” Chris moans from behind you.

His gaze remains on his and Leon’s cocks splitting you open. He starts rocking his hips a bit, groaning at the combined feeling of your slick walls with Leon’s length rubbing against his. Leon starts moving again too.

You let out a sound that’s between a yelp and a moan. Both of Leon’s arms snake around you to keep you engulfed in his embrace. He’s more vocal than usual, the mix of stimulation getting to him as well.

“That’s right. You keep crying for your daddy. Let me hear how much you need me. Just cry it out like the good little girl you are,” he mumbles against you.

Once you’ve become comfortable with the stretch, it starts feeling better than you’d imagined. In tandem, they’re stroking every part of you. They slide in and out, back and forth, pulling soft whines from you. The only noise apart from the three of you grunting and moaning, is the obscene noises that come from them pumping into your wet pussy. You feel your ability for coherent thoughts slipping away. You just wanted to be full of your daddy and his friend.

Chris smacks your ass while picking up his pace a bit. “Now she’s getting into it,” he says.

You get a little louder to both their enjoyment. Grabbing at Leon a little more, you shudder while hearing moans bubble up from his chest and out of his mouth.

“That’s cause you’re such a good girl. Right baby?” he asks, his voice breathier, “So good at whining for your daddy’s cock.”

You nod without a second thought. You’re panting a bit as the thrusts start hitting just right. Your expressions and the tightening of your cunt give you away. You hear both of them groaning and getting a little more primal with their movements.

“You feel that, Chris? She’s getting closer. Can always tell by the way her pussy starts trying to keep me in. So desperate for some cum,” Leon says.

“Yeah. I can feel her cute little cunt begging for it,” Chris growls.

They’re both going harder, making your mind get all fuzzy and causing more tears to fall, although by this time they’re purely tears of pleasure. Your cries are whiny and needy.

“My baby, my baby,” Leon grunts while lacing his fingers in your hair, “I want you to cum for me, ok? Wanna feel you cumming all over our cocks. Show Chris how good you make me feel every single night when you start clamping down on me.”

You don’t finish right then. It takes a handful more thrusts from each of them to hit the right buttons and work you over that edge, dropping you into a pool of euphoria. The bliss washes over you, and as Leon described, your pussy squeezes around them in waves. They’re both moaning now, grabbing you harder, sighing and gasping. You twitch on top of Leon, and he holds you close and helps you through it.

“Look at that sweet face. Always so pretty when you let go,” he mumbles just for you to hear, “Keep cumming, dolly. Want you feeling like you’re in heaven.”

Leon’s the first to blow his load, shooting it deep inside you. He pumps it in while you’re still releasing. His own hips twitch and buck while that hot, sticky liquid flows from him. 

Chris takes a bit longer, savoring every last moment he has inside your precious cunt. He keeps thrusting after you’ve finished, making you squirm with the slight overstimulation. Leon hisses too, feeling the friction from his movements against his dick.

When he finally does cum, your body is overtaken with a shiver. He fucks it deep into you. His thrusts don’t weaken while he spills it inside of you. He keeps moving in powerful strokes until he’s satisfied.

After he’s truly done, Chris leans down and kisses the space between your shoulder blades. “So good, pretty baby,” he praises softly before pulling out.

It feels weird just having Leon’s dick in you. It’s your normal but so strange now too. He slides himself out next though, so there isn’t too much time to fester on that. Sitting up, he pulls you with him while covering your face in kisses.

Everyone is laid back right now, letting the post-high wear off as you all come down. You stay curled up to Leon like you always did after finishing. He rubs your back like normal, knowing your head was most likely still up in the clouds. Eventually, all of your breathing steadies and returns to a regular pace.

Your hazy eyes open and gaze over at Chris. “Thank you Chris,” you say, tone a bit dreamier than it usually is.

“You’re welcome, honey,” he says, smiling at you.

“Look at you, so polite,” Leon teases, “By the looks of it, you’re gonna be sitting on Chris’s lap soon enough and leaving me on the sidelines.”

You shake your head and nuzzle him. All of you take a brief moment to finish the descent back to normalcy. Chris stands to pull on his pants again. 

“We’ll get there one of these days,” he jokes.

“I don’t know about that. This one’s a daddy’s girl before anything else,” Leon says, before smooching your forehead.

[lxvvie]

Your lover who makes themselves home between your legs.

Sucking. Kissing. Caressing. Loving on you.

Your lover who holds you with a stare dazed and penetrating just the same.

Your lover who won't let you cum. Not unless you keep your gaze on them.

"Eyes on me. And only me..."

[biohazzrds]

GIRL DINNER GIRL DINNER

[mrswint3rs]

𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ❦

𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 [RE men] [RE ladies] [Donna Beneviento] [Leon]

𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝𝐲 ❦

❣︎ Much needed company (Sugar Daddy! Leon x Fem!) 18+

❣︎ A Step Further (Virgin! Re2 Leon x Gn!) 18+

more coming soon

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 ❦

❣︎ Death of a Bachelor (Vendetta Leon x Fem! x Vendetta Chris) 18+

❣︎ Playing Catch Up {part 1 }(sugar daddy chris x fem!) 18+

more coming soon

𝐉𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 ❦

❣︎ Ink Temptress (Tattoo Artist! Jill x Fem! Reader) 18+ [Part 2]

❣︎ breakfast in bed (fluff drabble)

more coming SOON

𝐍𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬 ❦

❣︎ Uncanny Reunion (Nemesis x Fem! Reader) 18+

no plans for more

𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐖𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐫 ❦

❣︎ Sweet Surrender (knifeplay with wesker x fem) 18+

❣︎ A Warm Welcome Home (Stepdad! Wesker x Fem!) 18+

❣︎ In a Time of Need (Post RE5 Wesker x Gn!) 18+

❣︎ Missed Deadlines (STARS Captain! Wesker x Fem rookie) 18+

❣︎ Partner in Crime (Boss! Wesker x Fem! Assistant) 18+

❣︎ Paternal Paradox (Husband Wesker x Fem!) 18+ [Part 2] sfw

❣︎ Nsfw Alphabet (headcannons// wesker x gn! Reader) 18+

more coming soon

𝐋𝐮𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐚 ❦

❣︎ Exotic Temptations (Stripper! Luis x Fem!) 18+

more coming soon

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭 ❦

❣︎ Another way to pay (Merchant x Fem!) [Part 2] 18+

more coming soon

𝐄𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ❦

more coming soon

𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐚 𝐃𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮 ❦

❣︎ Guilty Pleasure (Best friend’s older sister! Bela x Fem!) 18+

[Part 2]

❣︎ Where The Sun Sets (vamp stuff w bela x fem!) 18+

more coming SOON

𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐠 ❦

❣︎ Make Me Bad (dbf! Heisenberg x Fem!) 18+

more coming SOON

𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 ❦

❣︎ Finding Beauty in the Dissonance (drabble) 18+

more coming soon!

𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐊𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐫 ❦

❣︎ “if I gotta sin to see her again then I’m gonna lie.” (dads boss, krauser) 18+

[cheesesoda]

resident evil men as parents!

a/n: i had this idea randomly so i wanted to write some headcanons 💪 lmk if you wanna see the girls as parents! (i might edit these headcanons and add more later too)

cw: slight mention of smoking and alcohol

genre: fluff, headcanons/blurb

______________________________________________

leon kennedy

leon is a girl dad!

cried when she was born

from when she was born until age 1 he would just go into her room at night and watch her sleep

he spoils her fr

youll come home late from work (well past her bedtime)

there they are making ice cream sundaes in the kitchen

he participates in tea parties and he enjoys it

he tells even MORE dad jokes now

very protective

tries to drink less after his daughter is born

chris redfield

chris is a girl and boy dad!

i think he has 1 boy (older) and 1 girl (younger)

like him and claire

was in awe when his kids were born

“oh my god she/he’s so small”

auntie claire babysits all the time

teaches his son to play football

honestly i think he’d be protective of his daughter but not as much as the others because he would teach her self defense from a young age

ethan winters

ethan is a girl dad! (which we already knew)

we already know what hes like as a dad but i’ll still write a bit for him

100% cried so hard when his daughter was born

best husband and father

definitely bought every brand of diapers because he didnt know what to get

hes very affectionate and caring to his daughter

i don’t see him as the type of dad to kill any guy who speaks to her once shes older

if someone breaks her heart tho mans just might kill

albert wesker

wesker is a boy dad!

very calm when he was born

not very affectionate

he does care he just doesn’t show it very well

luis sera

luis is a girl and boy dad!

i think he’d have 2 or 3 kids

if he had 2 kids, he’d have 1 girl (older) and 1 boy (younger)

if he had 3 kids, he’d have 2 girls (oldest & youngest) and 1 boy (middle)

definitely sets a very high bar for how his daughter/s should be treated

teaches his son to be a gentleman definitely

loves all his kids so much

smokes less after his kids are born and would rather die than expose them to cigarette smoke especially when they’re babies

carlos oliveira

carlos is a girl and boy dad!

you cannot tell me this man does not want a village of children

he would probably have 4 kids

i think he’d have 3 boys and 1 girl

has the biggest soft spot for his kids

he’s very non-toxic masculine with his sons

he always tells them he loves them, hugs them, etc.

he also has tea parties with his daughter

[angelltheninth]

Leon, Chris and Luis Fuck You Against a Glass Window

Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy, Luis Serra Navarro, Chris Redfield x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, exhibitionism, rough sex, creampie, blow jobs, risk of getting caught/seen, clit stimulation, being held against the glass

A/N: First time including more characters then Leon.

LEON

Keeps your back against the glass, his hands digging into your ass as he thrusts his cock into your pussy, letting combined cum drip onto the floor. While his cock isn't visible from this angle it is visible when you kneel to suck off the last of his cum. Leon made sure that you sucking his cock, deepthroating it is able to be seen. You need to show how much you love and enjoy his cock and cum.

LUIS

Presses you fully against the cold glass, your breasts pushing against it and ass pushed back against his hips. You can't kiss him from this angle but Luis isn't interested in shutting down any noise you make, or hiding your pleasure. If you're scared of being seeing, which he doubts is the case since you were the one who started flirting with him, then you should make sure you finish before someone sees you.

CHRIS

Was a bit reserved at first but as soon as he felt how tight your pussy is around his cock he started fucking you like his life depended on it. He holds you up against the glass, your legs spread open, your hands playing with your clit, his cock going in and out your cunt while his balls slap against you. Fuck it would be so hot if someone saw you right as he came inside you, saw the moment he made you pregnant.

[tipsyleaf]

What do you think a sleepy morning in the Redfield household would look like?

⭐️

(Cozy but chaotic still)

It be the first weekend in a while Chris was completely free so he got to sleep in. It be his usual wake up time of 5am when he rolls over, pulling you back into him like usual and fall back asleep.

Sometime around 8 you'd wake up and turn into him, both of you mumbling sleepy good mornings. Chris would kiss your face and chuckle as you mutter a complaint before giving him a real good morning kiss.

Just to be interrupted by the sound of their door creaking open. Little feet padding towards their bed. You both life your heads, seeing your little Lulu trying to climb onto the end of the bed. Chris smiles, sitting up and scooping her up into bed with them.

"Good morning, angel. You need something?"

"Cuddles..." She yawns, rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists. Chris puts her between them, both of you hugging her happily until the door squeaks again.

"Can I lay with you?" CJ asks, coming around to your side of the bed.

"Sure honey." He quickly climbs over you, cuddling up to you, laying between you and his little sister. You rub his back gently as he relaxes against you. Kissing both the kids foreheads with a chuckle.

"Now we just need Ollie." Chris adds, chuckling in his half asleep state. As if on cue the door moves again, your oldest walking into the room looking between you and his father.

"Come on." Chris pats the bed for him to join. Ollie quickly climbs up, flopping on his younger siblings.

Lulu elbowing him and CJ grumbling against your chest. Ollie squishes them, jamming his elbow into the stomach.

"Ow, okay... This is getting too crowded. You all cuddle with daddy while I go make breakfast." You slide out of bed while the kids watch you walk towards the door. Chris pick up his head from falling back asleep, groggily looking around.

"What's happening?" You smile looking at the kids.

"Get him while he's tired kids!" Fits of giggles and bed creaks fill the room as the kids start piling on Chris and you just walk out with a smile, leaving the door open to hear the kids mess with their father.

[wxnheart]

"I don't want it just tonight, I want forever..."

He's missed this. He's missed you, baby.

Missed the feeling of your bare skin against his. Missed the sounds of heaven in his ears. Missed the way your tight heat envelopes him and welcomes him home.

Oh god, you feel so fucking good.

This moment... he wants it to last forever. He wants every fiber of your being to remember it. Wants you to remember the intensity of the way he fucks you, wants you to remember the way he has you begging for more. He wants you to remember the way he presses your foreheads together and makes you look him in the eyes, makes you see how fucking crazy he is for you, how much he wants you like you want him.

Wants you to see and feel how much he'd always want you.

And fuck, you're so beautiful when you come... but he's not gonna stop. He's not gonna stop fucking you.

He's not gonna stop loving you.

He'll do everything in his power to make you remember this moment.

He'll do everything in his power to make it last forever.

[dollfacefantasy]

daddy kink with chris and you’re overstimulated and crying and he kisses your hair and tells you it’s okay… like, he acts like he’s helping but also doesn’t slow down at all… he started going harder once he saw you crying…

pairing: chris redfield x fem!reader

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, oral (fem receiving), daddy kink, overstimulation, dacryphilia

word count: 2.9k

a/n: ermmmm this is pure smut but school has me too tired to do a full fic and i wanted to make a picture so yeah hehe. thank you for this ask, it's right up my alley. i hope you like :) as always reblogs and comments mean the world <3

Today was a bad day for Chris. Or at least it had been until he got home and found you, laying in bed without a care in the world. He tried to be normal about it at first, he really did. He nodded a hello as he walked through the bedroom and settled the dust from his day. He went through the motions, breathing deeper to try and chill out. But as he looked at you, the more the urge built within him to get rid of some of that tension, pump it all deep inside of you. He couldn’t help it. He was just so overwhelmed, and he needed his little stress reliever to help him out.

He climbs on the bed and slots himself next to you. His lips find your neck immediately. You can feel the raw need in his movements. A giggle bubbles from your lips as part of his facial hair scratches against your neck. Poor baby, clueless as to what was in store for you. Your ear meets your shoulder to give him some more room on your throat, and he doesn’t let it go to waste. Nipping at your skin, tongue laving over the small love bites he litters you with. You moan and shift slightly as the tingling from your neck drips down your spine to the pit of your belly.

“Chris…” you whimper. 

He doesn’t remove his mouth from you though. Amateur mistake. He was obviously in a mood. Your eyes flutter as his large hand squeezes your waist.

“Daddy…” you correct yourself.

A sharp breath fans across your neck as he briefly disconnects. “What is it, baby? Feeling needy too?” he asks before kissing your throat a bit more.

“Mhm,” you hum softly, sinking down on the bed more.

He chuckles against your throat, one of his hands pulling on your thigh to spread your legs. His fingers only tease your inner thigh for now. They don’t coast across the part of you that aches for him.

“So easy, precious,” he breathes before scooting down.

He positions himself between your legs and tugs your shorts down quickly. After they’re discarded, he presses his lips to the skin the pads of his fingers had just been smoothing over. His breath hitches at the soft, plush warmth of your flesh. You bite your lip and merely watch him close in. He can feel your gaze, and it only serves to make his semi-hard cock even stiffer.

Looping his arms over your thighs, he pulls you even closer. Your head squishes on a couple pillows as he buries his face between your legs against your clothed cunt. He inhales so deep that it’s audible. So is the groan he lets out after. You feel his lips against the fabric of your panties before he licks the cloth too. The pleasure was dulled by the barrier, but it still got you going seeing how needy he was.

He drags his nose against the garment to take in more of your scent before using his mouth again on your covered pussy. More arousal collected beneath as you watched him go at it. With a small impatient wriggle of your hips, you whine in anticipation.

“Just a second, honey. Wanna enjoy this,” he grumbles. 

It honestly felt like he was trying to suffocate himself between your thighs. That’s even more true once he finally yanks your panties off. He’s right back to what he was doing, smothering himself with you. Your head falls back as he laps at your folds, grunting at the taste of your slick on your tongue. He sucks on your clit while flicking his tongue against it, making your arms flail while you cry out for him.

Your heels dig into his back while you whimper and writhe. He holds you in place and devours you. You can still hear those sharp breaths coming from him, each one is calculated since he seems insistent on not coming up for air.

This wasn’t too out of the ordinary. Chris was always a pretty dedicated lover for you. He never teased too much, but usually he would mumble a few things here and there. Not now though. It seemed he was lost in a haze of lust, eating you out for his own reasons rather than your pleasure.

You’re sure of this when you reach your first high. You shriek and jerk, legs trembling and only secured by his strong arms. Gasping, your fingers claw at the blankets on the bed. Despite all this though, he doesn’t stop when you should be coming down.

“Daddy,” you whimper and squeeze your eyes shut. You can’t even verbalize that it’s too much. A string of whines leaves you instead, and your words come out jumbled. Your legs pointlessly kick as he continues licking up your cunt.

“It’s ok, dolly. Daddy just needs some more time with this pretty pussy,” he grunts, “It’s gonna feel good, ok?”

You whimper again as you nod, barely stuttering out an “ok” before he dives back in. He makes out with it, taking in all of you that he can. Flattening his tongue and dragging it over your sore clit, he sends shocks through your body. You feel like static on a broken tv, vibrating as he works you closer to the edge again.

The sheets twist and crumple underneath you from the way he has you squirming and shifting around. Your legs go taut as you crash through release for a second time. It doesn’t take as long since you were so sensitive from having just cum. You squeak this time, quieter than the last. Your limbs shudder with more intensity though, and your eyes roll back.

And he still keeps going. You move your legs more this time, to which he responds by tightening his grip. Breathy whines continuously tumble from your lips. Your mind is melting down into a puddle. You can’t find the words to protest this time, so you don’t. That’s fine with him. He continues on, chin completely coated with your slick at this point.

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip in an attempt to restrain the pathetic noises coming from you. The way he went all in, you’d think you were the best thing he ever tasted. He’s not even rocking his hips into the mattress. All his focus is on you, the way he maneuvers his mouth on you. It’s not long until you’re cumming for the third time.

He’s still not showing any signs of letting up, so you will yourself to intervene.

“Chris!” you yelp without thinking, your hips bucking in time with your plea.

“Who?” he growls without looking up.

“Daddy… I can’t,” you whine, correcting yourself for the second time tonight.

“Oh, I know you can, sweetheart,” he says before a lewd noise sounds through the room as he latches back onto your clit.

You nearly shout at the sensation, shaking your head wildly. Your voice is growing more whiny, and your head is sinking into that state where everything is soft and syrupy, like a waking world of dreams.

“Mm-mm, I- I need a break. It- mmph- it’s too much,” you whimper and squirm around harder.

He digs his fingers in, set on keeping you where you are. He actually does take a break to look up at you. His eyes connect with your own.

“Does it feel bad, princess?” he asks.

You stumble through your thoughts to try to think of how to articulate yourself. “No…” you say slowly, “It…”

During your pause, he interjects. “So it feels good, yeah?” he asks. He’s condescending for sure, just the way you like him to be.

“Well yeah. But it’s too much,” you say, lip puffing out into an automatic pout.

He chuckles and shakes his head, lowering himself to press a few tender kisses to your pulsing bundle of nerves. “Just one for me, baby. Daddy just wants to play with his favorite girl after a long day,” he says before his tongue returns to your folds.

Your head falls back again as your mind spins with the heat swirling inside you. One more. You could take one more. But if it was anymore than that, you were pretty sure you’d go numb.

You were already going a little dumb. Whiny, squirmy, no thoughts inside your head except for what was happening in the moment. Your body was moving on instinct, you didn’t have much control at this point.

He does give you the tiniest break as he fucks his tongue into you rather than attacking your clit. It’s still stoking the flames of sensitivity, but the pleasure is much more muted. But as soon as you think to be relieved about this, his mouth is all over you, and that burning sense of overstimulation is back.

Your thighs lock around his head. You would be concerned about cutting off his air flow, but it seemed like that was his goal anyways. Your shirt was clinging to your form, highlighting how your breasts heaved and puffed up and down with each gasp.

It feels like a never ending fuse, but finally, you hit that “one more” he wanted. You gush all over his face yet again. Ecstasy stabs through you. A long moan erupts from you before devolving into a collection of unintelligible mumbles.

He chuckles into you and gives a couple more licks before he actually pulls off. You had started to wonder if he ever actually would.

“Good girl,” he purrs, “Such a sweet baby, always doing what daddy asks.”

You lazily nod, dumb little smile gracing your features. He pets your head, a few soft strokes before getting up to undress himself. You’re too out of it to really pay much attention to that though.

Your little break is over just as quick as it began. He climbs on top of you again, peppering your face and neck with kisses.

“Wanna see these pretty tits bounce while I’m inside,” he murmurs as he peels your shirt off of you. He moves your limbs like a doll’s to rid you of your top. You’re limp, pliable, simply moving where he guides you.

Once you’re fully nude beneath him, he lines himself up. Swiping his tip through your soaked center, he doesn’t waste much time teasing. He slides in groaning as he sinks into your heat, savoring each inch of your wet embrace.

“She’s been missing her daddy,” he mutters, “So fuckin’ tight for me.”

You give another weak nod as a response. He starts rocking, slow at first, easing into a rhythm. You’re so tender though, it doesn’t feel as slow. You whimper with each of his movements. Every poke within you feels like another jab to your already overwhelmed center.

You call out for him, using it as a reprieve from the overwhelming sensations. His cock is heavy and thick just like every other part of him. You can feel that simply from the way it stretches you out and pulsates between your walls.

Soon enough he finds a pace he likes. It’s quick, but he’s not jack-hammering. He’s stroking you deep for sure, head of his cock kissing your cervix and prodding against all your other spots that send jolts of pleasure through your body. 

You were so shaky, trying your best to cling onto Chris for some sense of stability. Your arms loop around his neck, legs weakly attached to his hips. The air around you feels heavy as if it’s pressing you further into the mattress, aiding him in keeping you trapped beneath his large form.You can’t contain the array of sounds flowing from you. Your mind is too fucked out and hazy to worry about self-restraint.

“Good girl, baby. Keep making all those cute little noises. Let me hear how much you need it,” he mumbles into your ear between pants. Some sloppy kisses land on your temple before he seems to start working his hips even harder than before.

You’re taut like a rubber band about to snap, thrumming with the slightest touch. Your eyes squeeze shut as you try to cope with the all consuming pleasure inside you. It’s like you can barely breathe. All you have right now is Chris. Nothing else is registering.

You’re babbling, trying to show some of how you’re feeling, but it’s all unintelligible. He can really only make out “daddy” and a few “I love yous.” Everything else is as muddled as the thoughts in your head.

He does understand when you choke out “daddy need to cum.” And like the good guy he is, he indulges you. He speed up more, slamming his hips against you with brutal force. The headboard is beating against the wall, and your body rocks in time from the momentum.

Continuing to kiss and suck on your throat, he chuckles. “Already came… what? Four times? And you still want more. You’re getting so spoiled, princess,” he teases.

You can’t really think of a defense in this state. Instead, you weakly shake your head and whimper “‘m not spoiled.”

He laughs louder and thrusts harder. “I’ll have to be careful with you. Can’t have you turning into a total brat on me,” he says.

Before you can protest this slander, he thrusts extra hard and knocks you over the edge. You practically scream. Your body locks up, and you convulse involuntarily. Tears build up in your eyes. When you open them, they’re glossy. Droplets already threaten to spill over the waterline.

He’s still slamming his cock in and out. You’re stretched thin. You feel like you’re gonna pass out at this point. The euphoria must be constricting your lungs or something. You start crying. Not just little teardrops rolling down your cheeks. No. Actual cries begin bursting from you, and it isn’t long before they morph into sobs. Tears do flow, your eyes and cheeks feel perpetually wet. A single blink unleashes more every time.

And once he hears that first cry, all teasing is gone from Chris’s demeanor. Though, it’s not replaced by concern. Sure, he feels a twinge of sympathy scratching at his heart, but it’s not the dominant emotion running through him.

Your crying just… does something to him. Something primal he can’t control. Something primitive he forgets exists until he has you beneath him like this. Those round cheeks streaked with tears, face twisted up in desperation, glossy eyes looking at him with complete reverence. It takes everything not to blow his load right when he sees it. It’s above him the way his hips instinctively go harder. He was basically jack-hammering now like his intention was to ruin you.

But you’re still his baby. He kisses your cheek, tasting the faintest hint of salt as your tears meet his lips. His hand that’s not supporting him, strokes your neck.

“It’s ok, baby bear. Daddy’s right here,” he coos as if he isn’t the one bringing you to tears.

You gasp and whimper. The words “I know” barely make it from your lips, but they reach his ears. His own body is getting stiff as his release bubbles up within him. He grits his teeth and keeps thrusting, grunting at how tight you’re clamped around him, walls massaging his shaft with each stroke.

“So pretty when you cry, sweet girl. Such a sensitive baby,” he whispers into your hair, “My baby bear. Just a little more.”

You’re just hanging on, nodding along to what he says as your tears flow. You’re not chasing release. Even though you feel like you’re locked into a high right now, you don’t feel like you could cum again. You think you’d rupture something if you did.

Chris, on the other hand, knows it’s right around the corner. His jaw clenches as his eyes droop. His hand tightens into a fist in your hair, tugging a little on the locks. His breathing becomes harsher, his body is coated with sweat as he keeps working to that peak.

“Daddy’s gonna take such good care of you. You’ve been so good. I’m so proud of you,” he coos between kisses to your head.

Again, your head bobs in a weak nod. You’re limp on the bed when his body locks up and he buries himself as deep inside your cunt as he can go. He moans with his release. You can feel the muscles in his arms and chest flexing as the pleasure washes over him. He exhales deeply before collapsing on top of you. He’s smothering you, and normally, you’d complain, but you’re not really in the mood right now.

Your bodies are molded together. You can’t even really tell where he ends and you begin. You’re both catching your breaths. For you, you’re regaining awareness of everything that isn’t the man on top of you.

You just lay like that for a while until finally, he pulls out and rolls off of you. You’re not left alone though because he pulls you into his lap, cradling you against his chest like a plush toy. He’s looking down at you with all the love in the world. His thumb swipes across your cheeks to wipe away all the remaining tears.

“You ok?” he whispers and kisses your face a few times.

“Mhm,” you hum, sinking further into his embrace.

“Good,” he says while beginning to rub your back, “I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

He knows this is what you need right now. In a few minutes, he’ll get you up, put you in the bath, make you a drink. But right now, he knows you just want him to hold you like the precious thing you are.

[lxvvie]

Let's talk about loving on your men the way they love on you.

Let's talk about the way their eyes widen when you tell them that they're cute, gorgeous, beautiful, handsome, or any other adjective you can think of. You've caught them off guard, they look so boyish, and it's so cute.

Let's talk about the way your eyes wander over their body, taking in everything that makes them uniquely them. Let's talk about the way they're watching you watch them and fuck, they've never felt so beautiful before.

Let's talk about kissing and praising the areas they're most self-conscious about.

Let's talk about making them the little spoon, whispering in their ears, running your hand over their bodies, and leaving goosebumps in your wake.

Let's talk about when it's all said and done, there's a small, lopsided grin on their face where confusion or perhaps a frown used to be.

Let's talk about loving on your men the way they love on you.

[bitbugbites-re]

𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙺𝚒𝚜𝚜 | 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰

Headcanons on how your first kiss would go with different RE men

tumblr exclusive!

characters: Carlos Oliveira, Chris Redfield, Leon S. Kennedy

gender: gn! reader

cw: FLUFF // first kiss :3 // ktober

a/n: guys this is my first non-nsfw post can you believe it

𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖔𝖘 𝕺𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖎𝖗𝖆 (re3r)

Who initiates?

Either one of you. Although, in most scenarios, it's probably going to be Carlos who initiates your first kiss -- he's a very forward guy

Taste?

His breath isn't awful, although it's not minty either. Very neutral?

I feel like if it was planned beforehand, and he knew he was going to kiss you, he might have chewed some gum? Or at the very least used mouthwash, flossed, scraped his tongue, etc.

He also strikes me as very spur-of-the-moment though, so I feel like in most situations there would be no planning and he'd just go for it. (fuck it, we ball!)

Is there tongue?

...maybe.

No, yeah, this dude would try using tongue on the first kiss LMAO

He'd ease into it though! It wouldn't be straight away.

I don't think it'd be bad if he did, either??? I feel like he'd know what he was doing and it wouldn't be like. AWFUL.

Are they touchy?

YEAAAAAAH !!!!!

You got boobs? They're gonna get squeezed. You got an ass? It's being rubbed. You got arms? They're getting grabbed. You got legs? Already around his hips--

ahem. Conclusion? Yes.

Is it good?

I'd say a first kiss with Carlos, or any kiss with the man at all, would be like an 8 or 9/10. He'd give you the best first kiss out of the other RE men on this list (although, if Ethan Winters were included, he'd easily take that spot. bro's got that supernatural mold-man rizz, or something?)

𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 𝕽𝖊𝖉𝖋𝖎𝖊𝖑𝖉 (re: death island)

Who initiates?

Probably you, if it's the movie renditions of Chris. I feel like he'd be waaay more reluctant to suck face as compared to his given re5/re6 personality. Although if there were a bit of teasing and build-up, I could see him getting frustrated and kissing you first.

Taste?

Most likely pretty average breath. I don't think he would really prepare for the kiss if he did know it was coming, though

Not because he doesn't care, but because it just isn't on his mind. I don't think he would think things that far out tbh

He might realize afterward though that his breath could've been STANK. I feel like he would ask and be briefly apologetic over the matter before moving on, and that'd be that

Is there tongue?

No. In fact, I think that if you were to use tongue, he'd probably be shocked and say something about it afterward

Chris probably wouldn't really know how to use his tongue well, either. I feel like he'd just get confused and overwhelmed and go back to kissing you in a regular fashion

Are they touchy?

Semi. I don't think he'd be grabby or overly passionate, but I can see him placing his hands somewhere, like on your hips or arms

Is it good?

Yeah, it'd be a good kiss. Maybe like a 7 or 8/10. Not anything to write home about, but it'd be nice. Just a very regular, low-key interaction

𝕷𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝕾. 𝕶𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖉𝖞 (re2r)

Who initiates?

Either one of you, honestly. If he's the one to initiate the kiss, I can see him planning it beforehand -- it wouldn't be a spur-of-the-moment type deal

I'd also like to note, that he'd probably study up on how to kiss you, LOL. Maybe through Google searches or by watching action movies with romance in them?

Taste?

If he's the initiator and it's been planned -- he's probably going to have a slightly minty taste. Bro is gonna come prepared

HOWEVER. If you're the initiator, you're getting what you get, pal. I feel like he's the type of dude to eat really pungent meals too, like onion-y, garlic-y stuff. Therefore, if this is the case -- good luck, brother

Is there tongue?

No tongue. He'd prefer to share a more gentle, slow kiss for your first.

Again, if you slipped him some tongue, I think he'd be a little taken aback. I don't think he'd say anything, though -- he'd probably just try his best to follow along (although I don't think he'd be very good at it -- I'M SO SORRY FELLOW LEON STANS PLS DON'T COME FOR ME)

Are they touchy?

Not unless you got touchy with him first. And even then, I think he'd be a little hesitant and/or clumsy about it.

You'd probably send him into a mini-panic, tbh. He'd pull through, though.

Is it good?

Depends. On. The. Breath.

If you caught him off guard and he ate some kinda garlic-y pasta or chicken recipe earlier in the day, well...I'm praying for you, buddy. Hard 5/10.

If he's got good breath, then I'd say a solid 7/10. I feel like your first few kisses would be pretty normal, and then as time goes on, he'd work his way up to like an 8 or 9/10 on average -- he'd learn quickly what you like and don't like :P

For the official and original Kinktober 23 prompts, check here. Credits to @kinktober2023 for the ideas!

[beneathstarryskies]

Omg your requests are open 🙏

Could I please request some breeding kink headcanons for some of the RE men? Chris, Leon, Wesker, Ethan and Karl? That would be awesome! Thank youuuu

Warnings: breeding, pregnancy, female reader, obviously unprotected sex.

Chris Redfield

Chris didn’t even realize he had a breeding kink. He stays so busy and is often so far away, he doesn’t see himself as necessarily being ‘father material.’

However, one day, he goes with you to a family function. There, he gets the rare chance to see you interacting with your small nieces/nephews/cousins and he imagines you with your children. Would you be as patient and loving as you are with the small kids in your family? 

Chris knows this isn’t a decision to make lightly, but he also is a man who acts a lot on passion and instinct. 

When he gets you home that night, he can’t stop thinking about putting a baby in you. 

You can’t do anything for the next few days without Chris pawing at you, kissing you everywhere he can reach, begging to cum inside you every time he can. 

Are you bending over to do laundry? Oh, now you have his bulge pressed against your ass! Are you lying in bed reading? Guess who is slowly peeling your pants off and pressing kisses on your inner thighs! 

Finally, he lets it slip. He has you bent into a mating press while he’s pounding into your soaked cunt with reckless abandon. 

“Let me put a baby in you,” he growls against your ear. 

Leon S. Kennedy

Leon has been on his own for a long time. He loves the idea of having a little family of his own, and he doesn’t hide it at all. 

Every time he’s fucking you, he is going to cum inside of you whether you’re on birth control or not. He just can’t imagine not spilling his load inside of your waiting walls. 

Leon will slip up and call you ‘mommy’. He says it sort of as a joke the first time, but then the name just fits you so well. He can’t resist telling you how much he wants to make you a mommy. 

He always keeps his cock sheathed inside of you after you’ve both finished to keep his cum plugged inside your little hole. 

If he goes soft he’ll just use his fingers to push his cum back inside and keep it inside. 

For all of his big talk, if you do end up pregnant he will panic a little bit deep down. His work is dangerous and has earned a lot of enemies for him. It might take him a while to let the news set in. 

Once you are pregnant and Leon comes to terms with the reality of parenthood, he becomes so protective. You will never be out of his sight, even if it’s just him tracking your location or calling in a favor to have an agent look after you while he’s away. 

All in all, he’s very happy to have bred you. 

Albert Wesker

As an Umbrella operative/double agent, Wesker didn’t have a breeding kink. He was constantly plotting for his gain and looking out for his skin. Being a parent would only complicate matters further and give him yet another piece to move on the chessboard. 

However, when he realizes the true potential he holds within himself, to dominate the world and rule as a god, something snaps within him. 

The need to carry on his superior genes and establish a legacy grows strong. 

He can’t breed with just anyone, however. He goes to painstaking lengths to find someone who has genes compatible with his own. Oh, and once he finds you he wastes no time making his way into your life. 

You’re his precious little lover, and he goes to any lengths to make sure you’re as smitten by him as he is with you. 

He gets off to the idea of knocking you up every single time you’re intimate. Even if you’re just giving him a blow job, he will bust as soon as he imagines breeding you. 

Not to worry though, because Wesker has stamina for days. He’ll wear you out with his libido. All the while he’s growling and grunting in your ear, making sure to tell you how much he loves breeding your little cunt. 

If you beg for him to cum inside of you, good fucking luck. He will go absolutely feral. 

Ethan Winters

It’s no secret that Ethan loves being a dad more than anything. He has so much love to give, and he is naturally doting on those he loves. 

That being said, with everything he’s been through it will take him some time after your relationship begins to think about having a family with you. It will first cross his mind when someone mentions how good you are with Rose. 

The thought sticks with him for a while, and then it morphs into the idea of having another baby…

Soon, he’s picturing you swollen and round with his baby growing inside of you. He can practically hear how sweet you’d be explaining to Rose that she’s going to be a big sister. 

He’s trembling with excitement when he brings up the idea of having a baby to you. If you agree, he is going to be hard immediately. 

Ethan doesn’t do anything half-assed. The man becomes OBSESSED with breeding you. 

He’s tracking cycles, he’s pulling all the positions that are the most effective for conceiving, and most of all he is fucking you every single time he gets the chance. 

Karl Heisenberg

Karl gets the idea to breed you for entirely selfish reasons if we’re being honest. 

When Alcina is allowed to create three daughters, he grows a bit jealous of that. Why does she get a family? Why does Donna get her stupid little doll? And when he learns of the possibility of having a strong, powerful child…Oh boy. 

He won’t exactly tell you his intentions. He just starts pumping thick loads of cum into you every chance he gets. 

One night he’ll let it slip, “I’m gonna put a baby in you.” 

He doesn’t really care if you want a baby or not, the idea of it just motivates him beyond anything else. He becomes insatiable, especially during a full moon. He’ll have you bent over every surface or folded into a mating press all night long. 

The problem with Karl though is he doesn’t actually consider the reality of having a kid. When you start showing signs of pregnancy, he kind of starts to panic. He might push you away a little bit, not fully wanting to take responsibility even though he wanted it so badly at first. 

However, when certain people begin questioning how you became pregnant his protective instincts will flare up. Then, he’ll never let you leave his sights.

[delphi-shield]

OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs

the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.

Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle. 

It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He’s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event. 

He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo. 

Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.

Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.

”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”

At least you get movie dates out of it.

Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.

I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.

Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.

Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.

Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.

Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?

Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.

He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'

Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.

Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.

She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.

Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.

And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.

If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.

Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.

Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.

Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.

Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.

Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.

Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)

Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.

Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?

Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.

Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst. 

Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”

Unironically sent you a minion meme once.

It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.

If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!

If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.

Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.