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the bologna incident

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Whatcha got for Long Ge headcanons?

i apologize, but i don't know that character well enough 😭😭

i actually had to look him up bc the name didn't ring a bell 🥲 I'm not super big into cars, so again, I do apologize!! but if you ask for a character with more screen time i can absolutely give you headcanons on them! 🫶

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Can you do head canons for Francesco Bernoulli?

I GOTCHU expect absolute whiplash bc i have so many thoughts. i also do apologize for anything that seems odd, i haven't studied his character josfuehuo

he's a pick me

but not like your average pick me

he just quite literally doesn't know he's acting like that

he likes to act like he knows it all but this man knows just about nothing that you talk to him about

like wtf is a microwave? i just have my chef make my food!!

he also just kinda is like a toddler???

does that make any sense?

like he's so accident prone 😭

the only time he's no where near hurting himself is during races

also he absolutely has a whole staff of chefs and butlers around his house

but he treats them so so so well

bc he has this "pick me" attitude to him, everyone thinks he's just mean to them

but these ppl haven't had a better work life before and they wouldn't trade this for the WORLD

"how is it working for Mr. Bernoulli?"

"oh its great! he's actually come to my home for dinner before. he loves the kids"

"he doesn't push you or ask for anything extra?"

"oh no! he actually does his best to make sure we're comfortable and accommodated to the best of his abilities"

everyone's jaws drop

LIKE WDYM HE'S A GREAT GUY BEHIND DOORS?

he'll fly out his opponents during off season for wine dates

he wants a bestie so bad

LIKE JUST GIVE THIS MAN A BEST FRIEND PLEASE

also loves going out and meeting his fans

at first he was scared bc what??

Franceso Bernoulli has fans?????

WHAT TIMELINE ARE WE IN!?!?!

but after the first few times he welcomes it with open arms

even when ppl stop him on the street he gets so giddy

almost like HE is the fan instead

but he loves it sm

he'll frequently reach out to Lightning to check in on him and see how he did during the racing season in the states

he also has offered to fly Lightning out before

or fly out to see him

either way he just really wants to see Lightning again

like he thought that was such a fun rivalry for everyone

also wants to actually officially meet all of Lightning's friends since he couldn't

he loves wearing nail polish too

and necklaces

he's a jewelry queen 💅

he has the soft boy look

but more fancy if that makes ANY sense

he also hates wearing clothes with any brand clearly visible

he thinks its such a stupid fashion sense/marketing campaign

he lives for the simplistic design of things, loves loves loves the way it looks

but also loves chaos

so his house is always flip flopping bc this man cannot figure out his favorite design

anyway that's all i can think up. i hope you like :3

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Day 090 + 1036 of posting Aphmau till RP returns in late 2025 | I remember this meme existed

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Soooo NSFW req...could you do one about Lightning smoking weed and getting head from Storm? 😌😩 ily bestie.

whoopsie got busy during the holidays anyway, I gotchu homie

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD! You can't blame me for what you'll be reading. You chose to click the keep reading.

content warning: 🍃, blowjobs, face fucking, degrading + praise, choking, petnames

It was a normal night for the two. A quiet night in, cuddling on the couch, sharing a joint. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Of course, it all seemed normal. Lightning took a hit, his mind wandering as he blew the smoke into Jackson's face.

The younger inhaled it, eyes closing gently with a soft smile. It made Lightning itch, his skin crawled as he watched his other half.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he mumbled, smiling down at the young racer. "You're amazing."

Jackson's face reddened, always flushing at Lightning's sweet words. "Stop it," he said, looking away.

"Come on, baby," the blonde grabbed Jackson's chin gently, urging the rookie to look at him. "You know it's true."

Jackson squirmed, feeling warm and fuzzy from the compliment. "You're always so sweet to me," he claimed, leaning into Lightning's touch.

"I can't help it. You deserve it," Lightning argued softly, leaning in.

Jackson mirrored the movement, closing the gap between them. Kissing softly, sweetly. Jackson plucked the joint from Lightning, taking a hit himself.

Lightning watched as Jackson's lips pursed, the way his lips dropped to an 'o' as he blew the smoke out. It irked something in the older racer, making him itch.

His fingers twitched, bit his lip. "Why do you gotta do that?" Lightning questioned, smile becoming a smirk.

"Do what?" Jackson questioned, head tilting to the side, curious what Lightning meant.

"Make me wanna eat you up by a simple motion," Lightning mumbled, grabbing Jackson's chin and pulling the younger closer. "You're so enticing and you don't even know it."

Jackson felt tingly under Lightning's touch, no matter how soft or rough it was. It made his skin react in a way he never knew was possible. He leaned into Lightning's touch, body growing warm.

"God, I want to make you squirm," Lightning spoke softly, eyes lidded and lust ridden. He spotted the smirk forming on Jackson's face, a look in the younger's eyes he grew familiar with over the years.

"I get first dibs," Jackson said, sliding off the couch and settling himself between Lightning's legs.

It was true. No matter who was the one to initiate these moments, Jackson always had dibs on going first. And who was Lightning to deny his sweet fiance?

With slow, deliberate movements, Jackson's hands ran up Lightning's legs, teasing and taunting. He watched as the older racer twitch under his fingertips, knowing Lightning was dying to take control of the situation.

Unbuckling Lightning's belt and undoing the zipper of his pants, Jackson pulled Lightning's cock free of its confines, already drooling with the idea of it down his throat.

"Come on, darling," Lightning spoke up. "You know I can't wait all day." He smirked down at Jackson, watching the younger wrap his hands around the shaft and slowly pump.

A low groan fell from Lightning's lips as Jackson began to pick up the speed, the younger bringing his mouth to Lightning's cock and leaving featherlight kisses and licking up the elder's shaft. A shiver ran up Lightning's back, the action forming goosebumps across his body.

The blonde's hand found the younger's head, fingers sliding into the dark curls and gripping. Lightning tugged, aching for more. The rookie complied, letting out a soft moan at the painful pleasure and finally engulfing Lightning's cock in his mouth.

Lightning let out a low moan, the wet confines of Jackson's mouth pleasing him enough he could bust right there. Yet, he didn't. Instead, he'd make Jackson work for it. He always did, loved seeing his pretty little fuck toy beg and work for Lightning's cum. Sometimes, Lightning wondered if he was addicted to it like some drug.

On the other hand, he knew just as well he would drop everything if Jackson said so. He was wrapped around the racer's finger, blissfully so. If Jackson told him to be his stool for the day, Lightning would comply no questions asked. If he requested a brand new car for racing, Lightning would send out a message to all his contacts to get Jackson the absolute best.

His hips jerked suddenly, a gag coming from the young man beneath him as Lightning came back to reality. A shaky breath fell from his lips as he looked back down at Jackson. The younger looked up at him, tears threatening to fall as he continued to suck off Lightning.

"Fuck, baby," the blond rasped, breathless. "You want me to do that again?" He questioned, smirking down at Jackson, fingers tightening in the dark curls.

Jackson let out a whine, nodding as best he could with Lightning's cock stuffed down his throat. With the confirmation, Jackson shuffled back, freeing Lightning's shaft from his mouth as the older stood.

Lightning took a step, grabbing Jackson's head gently. "Loosen that jaw," he demanded, voice so gentle as he did. Watching the man on his knees open his mouth so easily, readying himself for what was to come. Lightning felt electric from being able to control Jackson so effortlessly.

Jackson grabbed Lightning's shaft, bringing it to his mouth, he brought his lips around it once more, eliciting a low groan from the older.

Lightning grabbed Jackson's head, starting out slowly as he thrust into the younger mouth. "So good for me," Lightning praised. "So willing to just let me fuck you how I want," he smirked, the slow rocking of his hips picking up.

Jackson moaned at the praise mixed with slight degradation. He gagged as Lightning's cock hit the back of his throat, tears spilling from his eyes that were threatening to spill earlier. With each thrust, a pornographic noise echoed from his throat, breaking out between his lips and Lightning's cock where it could.

Lightning growled, his grip on Jackson's hair tightening and the younger knew he'd have that salty cream down his throat shortly. He placed his hands on Lightning's thighs for stabilization, sucking as best he could with each thrust.

He whined, eager to please Lightning, to have him become a puddle as soon as it was all said and done. Lightning's cock twitched in Jackson's mouth, a key point Jackson picked up early on in their relationship.

"Dirty, dirty boy," The blond groaned. "You want my cum so bad, you're willing to suck me off while I fuck your face?" He smirked at the rookie. "Such a good boy, baby. 'm gonna fill this pretty little mouth of yours."

Jackson moaned at the name calling, the praise, the degradation, Lightning fucking his face, and the high of the weed on top of it. He'd cum in his own pants just from it, but fuck did he need more friction in his pants.

Lightning thrusts stuttered, his load shooting into Jackson's mouth. He held the younger still, keeping him at the hilt to make sure none was spilled. The older pulled out of Jackson's mouth, the dark haired man gulping down all he could, a few coughs following.

Lightning knelt down in front of Jackson, eyes lidded and still fiery with lust and the haze of the weed still bubbling in their systems. "You okay, love?" he asked, rubbing the younger's back.

Jackson cleared his throat, nodding. "Yeah," he croaked out, his voice hoarse from the roughness. He kissed Lightning's cheek, "I could never get sick of you doing that to me."

Lightning smirked, hand coming up and wrapping around Jackson's throat. "Good," he mumbled, "Because we've still got a joint to finish and a whole night ahead of us."

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yall really liked the cars headcannons, and the bestie suggested I do more/do mini-fic requests sO 👏🏻

this is the basic rules.

for headcannons:

they'll be mine mixed with others as I see fit

if you don't like one, move on

want a specific character/duo, send a request

THEYRE FICTIONAL CHRACTERS

I WILL NOT do nsfw one UNLESS ASKED

for mini-fics

any duo is fine, but I mainly work with the main characters

nsfw is fine, but I draw the line at non-con, r@pe, and children/adult relationships

if you want a specific storyline/plot, send me a dm/request and I'll do it right away 🫡

those are all the basic rules. they may be updated in the future, but as of now that's it :)

ALSO I will only work on one at a time (mainly). headcannons are easy to run thru, so I'll get those out faster than the fics.

remember I do have a life outside of the internet as well, so if things are updated as frequently, that's why!

anyway, have a good day cars fandom 🤠

(blame @x0stormie0x for all of this, I wasn't even in the cars fandom originally LMAO)

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HOMOPHOBIC LIU IM CRYING LMAOOO

happy pride. or whatever

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I’ve been saying this

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Could I make a request? I would like random headcanons about lightning being that young racing driver in the modern human au, You could add doc too! Thanks!

absolutely! headcanons are my favorite thing to make sjcjwnfjjwr

I'm pulling Chick and King into this too thEY NEED MORE LOVE

reminder: I'm not apart of the cars fandom. check out @x0stormie0x for more cars content :)

in the beginning, Lightning was a nervous wreck

like I mean full on wouldn't talk to anyone but his team

he didn't even know how to get a team together 😭

his first race he got fourth place and he was content with that

he genuinely thought he'd do worse

then he just slowly got better

consistently first every race after like 2 years

when Lightning first met King, Chick and the other older races, he genuinely saw them as family

Chick was literally like an older brother that'd always tease the shit outta you

King was the dad before Doc came along

during off season they'd all hangout

and I'm not saying drives, I'm saying like they'd meet up at one of their houses and just fuck around like teenagers

they were all menaces

When Lightning found himself in Radiator Springs and meeting the whole town, he really felt a connection with them

stronger than with King and Chick

King became the cool uncle and Chick is now the annoying cousin

Doc is the dad, Mater is his brother, Flo is the cool aunt and so on

When RS became Lightning's new pit crew, King and Chick weren't exactly too keen on these people

bc who tf are they and why are they so friendly with McQueen?????

ofc everyone did meet and things weren't so tense

Doc even showed appreciation towards King, as he was more old school when racing and Doc loves seeing that in the younger generations

the RS crew was rowdy compared to the other crew in the pit, but that just made them that much easier to spot

after Lightning won his first race with RS on his side, it was like you never saw him away from those people

during the off season, Doc would give him new tips and tricks to learn

he keeps flying into the cacti while training

Mater is always on standby

"Getting towed is so embarrassing" "Just be glad it's not on the actual track"

Doc, McQueen and Luigi always talk about what tires would be best for the next season, especially with potential rain

Flo makes sure he has only the best quality oil all season

Ramone gives Lightning's car a new paint job each season

there's always something new

one time Ramone suggested a Lightning bolt with a few extra at the bottom and Lightning thought he couldn't do it

he did

everyone loved that specific paint job

originally Lightning thought everyone from RS would want him gone once Mac found him, but he was so happy to know they wanted him to stay at much as he wanted to

in the beginning, Lightning pushed for a lot of his earnings to be spent on RS once it got out that, that was where he was staying

mans wanted EVERYONE'S business/shop to look the best

even as he gets older, most of the fundings of RS is 80% Lightning

okay that's all I got for now :] hope ya liked and I'm open for more requests. this is sm fun hehe

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BECAUSE THEY'RE MY BABIES AND I NEED TO SPREAD THE AGENDA ABOUT THEM

LightningStorm hcs? 🥺🙏

HEHEHE YES

SOME NSFW TOPICS MENTIONED!!

they absolutely HATED each other before anything

those mfs wanted to see each other burn

then they realized they were gay

they both denied it for the longest time

Jackson actually was training with Cruz when she brought up Lightning

the look on Jackson's face was so lovesick

Cruz immediately just "omfg you're gay for Mcqueen!"

"No! >:T" (lies)

the third time they raced next to each other, it was intense

even the crowd could feel the tension

after the race they talked (like all racers do, dw)

all anyone saw was them both blushing like mad trying to be cool

eventually they stopped being idiots and went to friends to lovers

they really on that enemies to friends to lovers train and I love thay trope sm

Lightning asked out Storm

Jackson was SO NERVOUS

he almost said no out of pure anxiety

when he told Lightning that later on in their relationship he CACKLED

Also used it to tease Jackson

their first date was super cute tho

they were all dressed up and went out on the town

once they were official everyone was eating it up

Lightning ALWAYS had a hand on Jackson

that man's secret love language is touch and you can't tell me otherwise

during off season the two with go back and forth between their towns

eventually Jackson just moves to RS and just becomes apart of the family dynamic they all have there

they cuddle and watch movies on the nights they're both struggling to sleep

they smoke 🍃 and do the deed

Lightning will sit there taking drags as Jackson sucks him off

the bedroom life is insane for them

Jackson is a WHORE when it comes to things in his mouth

when they're not in the bedroom, he has to have gum, candy, mints, anything to keep him settled

in the bedroom? if Lightning's cock/fingers aren't in his mouth immediately that man will be a full fucking brat

Jackson isn't the only dirty one tho

Lightning loves being called sir/master

he won't be nice if Storm doesn't call him something like that

except daddy is off the table

neither of them like that

Lightning is a whore for Jackson and vice versa

if Jackson wears slightly revealing clothing or his shirt rides up?

it's done. Lightning is pining that mf to a wall and Jackson isn't walking for a good few hours

they love marking each other

Lightning loves when he can leave hickies/bruises all over Jackson. especially bc of the vice grip he has on Jackson's hips during it

Jackson loves it too

Lightning loves when Jackson leaves hickies in return

they both enjoy the idea of people knowing they own each other

if there's ever a race Lightning isn't in, he's in the pit as Jackson's crew chief

that mf has been racing for years. You think he's not gonna let his rookie in on the secrets?

everyone is jealous/angry with Jackson bc he learns all the tricks (old and new) from Lightning and wins basically every race

Cruz is even jealous but not like "wtf i should be winning this!?" its more of a "how did i not know these tricks????"

but she's just happy one of the guys she helped train is getting those wins

anytime one of them wins, they both know it'll be a long night

as soon as they step in the trailer, they're handsy and all over one another

one time in an interview, they got asked if they would adopt kids and they both paled

neither of them want kids

not because they hate them exactly, but it's just not for them

they in turn said they were happy with their golden retriever and black cat back home

they're both basically children anyway

when they first announced the relationship, there was some backlash bc of the age gap

since Jackson is in his twenties and Lightning his forties, people thought it was very... yeah

it eventually calmed down tho and everyone just enjoys the two tho

they bounce off one another like crazy

Lightning is very laid back in public, which gives Jackson the opportunity to be chaotic af

Lightning swears sometimes he'll get gray hairs from Jackson

even jokes about it in interviews

at home it's complete opposite

Jackson is calm and relaxed and Lightning is the one bouncing off the walls

same person, opposite reactions basically

THEYRE END GAME

When Lightning proposes to Jackson, they do it in a private setting

somewhere really nice. like a little forest hideout they found one day that became their favorite spot

they were gonna announce it in style but Lightning slips up

Jackson won a race after almost losing and everyone just heard Lightning basically scream

"THATS MY HUSBAND"

everyone lost their shit

there you go 🥰

if you don't like this then oh well. scroll on pookie

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Because we're best friends and you've made now one post in the cars fandom, I'm going to force you to make another/hj

BEST FRIEND/BROTHERLY HEADCANONS FOR MATER AND LIGHTNING PLEASE 🙏

HEHDIKQXJENF you're gonna make my blog become entirely cars and I honestly don't mind it

forewarning: I base all these headcannons off of things my siblings/friends and I do :)

Mater and Lightning fight like siblings

they also call each other names (i.e. slut, whore, bitch, cunt. you name it, it's being thrown out)

during the off season, Mater will drag Lightning around to mess with the tractors like they did originally when they first met (THATS MY FAVORITE FUCKING SCENE FOR NO REASON)

they info dump with one another ALL the time

Lightning never shuts up ab dinos they just so kewl :3

if they're playing a game, it's immediately a competition on who can come in first

doesn't matter what game it is or if there really will be a winner for it, they're at each other's heads trying to be first

except Mater is a sore loser

he has youngest siblings syndrome

Lightning is the oldest with middle child energy

they shit talk ab ppl they hate ALL the time

"did you see what they were wearing?" "call the fashion police, this guy is NOT it"

yk how sometimes your siblings will walk into your room for no reason? yeah they do that

except Lightning is the one who never closes the door when he leaves

Mater gets on him for it all the time

"CLOSE MY DOOR" "ITS YOUR DOOR??" "YOU LEFT IT OPEN"

they'll tease each other when the gfs/bfs are around

depending on who you ship them with, Mater will see Lightning with his partner and just "awww so you do have a heart"

cue Lightning just tackling Mater

Lightning does the same thing right back to Mater tho

no one's safe

remember Mater eating wasabi?

bc of that incident, Lightning becomes OBSESSED with trying to figure out where Mater's limit is

unfortunately Mater is extremely white 💀

Lightning also can't cook

anytime Mater sees thay mf in the kitchen he's scrambling to get him out or find Doc

bc wHO LET HIM COOK?????

THATS ILLEGAL AND ALL OF RADIATOR SPRINGS KNOWS IT

they do that "I'm not touching you" thing

Lightning always instigates it

"DOC!!" "Lightning, by all things burnin' in hell if you don't stop messin' with Mater"

Mater isn't innocent either tho

yk how younger siblings always act like the world is ending if you touch them?

Lightning accidentally tapped elbows with Mater and the reaction was SO dramatic

Mater flung himself into the wall, fell to the floor, crying so hard he almost made himself throw up

Lightning was so confused

Doc turned the corner and didn't even know how to react or respond

Anytime Lightning has an issue with his car he can't figure out, Mater is the first one on the case

they're both car nerds, but sometimes Lightning gets too overwhelmed

yk they're always causing chaos around RS

but if ANYONE touches a hair on one of their heads?

the other is behind you already

you're done

R.I.P.

anyway there are my headcannons. do with them as you please :]

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saw someone's headcannon post and I started thinking

blame @x0stormie0x for getting me into this mess

anyway

I love the idea of Doc being so fatherly towards Lightning. Like not even just being a part of the pit crew, all of RS became for Lightning, but literally being a father.

Someone mentioned Doc having to pull Lightning out of bed every morning, and HE WOULD! you're telling me this man is a morning person? never. he gets up at 3 pm SHARP.

I can see Doc waking Lightning up like in those cliche movies. He opens the blinds and yanks the covers off him. "Rise and shine, Mcqueen! we got training today!" All cheery and Lightning just groans and rolls over, trying to go back to sleep.

I can see during the off season Lightning and Doc just having this father-son relationship like no one else, and Doc even adopts Mater into the family dynamic at one point bc that's Lightning's beat friend and they already act like brothers anyway.

During off-season, while there is training, Doc isn't as harsh. Instead, he's sweeter and a little more gentle. It's only when racing season picks back up that he gets a bit harsher on our boy, and Lightning hates it, but he knows Doc does it out of love.

When they're not training, they're hanging out at Doc's place or maybe Flo's. Doc has to rally Lightning like he's a 3 year old because he gets so caught up in everything and starts getting so excited he can't contain himself.

They get on one another's nerves all the time, but that's because they love each other like their blood, and everyone knows it. They wouldn't have it any other way, especially when they keep each other busy and in check.

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wanted to recreate that ancient "put a / for the year you were born" poll, so. . .

also please for the love of hell don't put your age in the tags, i want this to be as anonymous as humanly possible

also please please please reblog the original post, at least for comparison and context!

EDIT: hang on this is getting to radfem tumblr gimme a sec:

TERFS FUCK OFF

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at least we got out of the caps 🤥 sadly I am loved, tho, by all my friends and family.

nice try dodging the question, tho. c'mon, just give me an answer! I'm not even in the cars fandom LMAO

its insane how someone like you exists,faggot XD

BRUHHH LMAOOOOO it's so funny to see someone who wishes they had a life. seems like mommy never gave you enough attention, huh?

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you clearly don't like yourself if you're attacking a whole fandom. I mean, what did they ever even do to you? it's literally just ppl e joking themselves and coming together bc they all like the same thing. what's so wrong ab that?

its insane how someone like you exists,faggot XD

BRUHHH LMAOOOOO it's so funny to see someone who wishes they had a life. seems like mommy never gave you enough attention, huh?

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KILL YOURSELF AND GET ASS RAPED. SUCK MY WET CUNT,FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!! ID RAPE YOUR DEAD BODY AND SELL IT ONLINE AS A SEX DOLL!!!!!!!!!!! XD

oooo so scary. I'm so scared of someone on the internet!! whatever will I do?

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you can suck your own dads fucking dick and get raped by him and get impregnated by him if youre a slutty fat cocksucking semen drinking female whore!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN. SUCK!!!! MY. CUNT!!!!!!!!!!! XD

KILL YOURSELF WHORE. <3

LOL my dad is dead to me, but good try