gaysftw - Tumblr blog

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Aiden: My day was just made

Emily: What kind of cat was it?

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Aiden, on the phone: Hey it’s Aiden

Veronica: What did he do this time?

Aiden: No, mom. It’s me. Aiden.

Veronica: Oh.

Veronica: What did you do this time?

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Veronica, over the phone: *sends a voice message*

Emily, texting: Is this important? I’m balancing a lot of planning at this exact moment

Veronica: No it’s okay just listen to it later :)

- later -

Emily: *plays the voice message*

Veronica in the recording: THERES IS FI-

Aiden: *screams in the background*

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Emily: Veronica and I have decided to move in together.

Ian: …

Ian: Good luck with that

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Veronica: …Is that necessary?

Jeri: *trying to run off but is unable to because of the kid leash on him*

Chuck: Yes.

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Sugar: Is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing?

Chuck: Actually it’s called highjacking.

Boris: Guys, no, it’s weedwhacking.

Veronica: No, it’s called disappointing your mother.

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Veronica: Are pigeons drones?

Emily: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Veronica: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Emily: Please let me sleep...

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Aiden: What did I say to you about barging into my room?

Lili: It’s inconsiderate and selfish?

Aiden: Yeah yeah, but I remember specifically using the word “Don’t”

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Jordan: I only told Jeri that Aiden and I are going to be adopting a child because he's like my brother!

Jeri: I only told Veronica bc she’s basically Aiden’s mother

Veronica: I told Emily because she’s my wife.

Emily: And I told everyone :)

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Veronica: Oh my god you’re bleeding!

Aiden, completely calm: Don't worry, it's not my blood.

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Sugar: Physically, I'm a slut. Mentally, I'm terrified of intimacy. Spiritually, I don't like women.

Veronica: …Are you having a stroke?

Ian: Go the fuck to sleep some of us need 8 hours to function normally!

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Sugar: AND YOU SLEEP LIKE A WHORE

Veronica: *loud gasp*

Emily: *pulls phone out to videotape them fighting*

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Aiden: Time sensitive question: how flirt boy

Lili: Throw rocks at he

Veronica: Hot Dog

Sugar: kill him

Aiden: Thanks guys

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Sugar, stepping up onto a chair: The floor is hating Veronica

Jordan: *leaps into Aiden’s arms*

Aiden: *steps onto the table holding Jordan*

Emily: *lounges in a chair with his legs on the table*

Boris: *hops into a crouch on the couch*

Chuck: *hops up and braces self in doorway*

Jeri: *climbs Boris like a scared cat*

Veronica: *lies down on the floor*

Everyone: nOOOOO

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Jordan, about Aiden: I can fix him

Lili: He has like four other people also trying to fix him. I’m one of them

Jordan: What?

Lili: We’re starting to look like a ducking construction crew.

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Jeri: YOU KISSED AIDEN?

Jordan: I didn't know what else to do! He had those big sad eyes!

Jeri, nodding: No yeah that’s fair. What else are you expected to do?

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Aiden, spins around in a swivel chair: Care to explain why you’ve been missing all day.

Jordan, frozen in the doorway: Yeah, uh, I was with Jeri so-

Jeri, also spins in a swivel chair: Care to— *keeps spinning* Aiden. Aiden, I can’t stop the cHAIR—