#ch: jordan wysse

[gaysftw]

Jordan: I only told Jeri that Aiden and I are going to be adopting a child because he's like my brother!

Jeri: I only told Veronica bc she’s basically Aiden’s mother

Veronica: I told Emily because she’s my wife.

Emily: And I told everyone :)

[gaysftw]

Sugar, stepping up onto a chair: The floor is hating Veronica

Jordan: *leaps into Aiden’s arms*

Aiden: *steps onto the table holding Jordan*

Emily: *lounges in a chair with his legs on the table*

Boris: *hops into a crouch on the couch*

Chuck: *hops up and braces self in doorway*

Jeri: *climbs Boris like a scared cat*

Veronica: *lies down on the floor*

Everyone: nOOOOO

[gaysftw]

Aiden: What’s an orgasm?

Jordan: Where did you hear-?!

Jeri: That’s when you fold paper to look like birds.

Lili: That’s oregano you idiot!

Jordan: Please stop!

[gaysftw]

Jordan, about Aiden: I can fix him

Lili: He has like four other people also trying to fix him. I’m one of them

Jordan: What?

Lili: We’re starting to look like a ducking construction crew.

[gaysftw]

Jeri: YOU KISSED AIDEN?

Jordan: I didn't know what else to do! He had those big sad eyes!

Jeri, nodding: No yeah that’s fair. What else are you expected to do?

[gaysftw]

Aiden, spins around in a swivel chair: Care to explain why you’ve been missing all day.

Jordan, frozen in the doorway: Yeah, uh, I was with Jeri so-

Jeri, also spins in a swivel chair: Care to— *keeps spinning* Aiden. Aiden, I can’t stop the cHAIR—

[gaysftw]

Jeri: Dad! Lili’s using bad words!

Aiden: Who’s ‘dad’?

Jordan, with a long suffering sigh: From a group position standpoint, I guess I am.

Aiden: That’s kind of fu-

Jeri: MOOOOOM SHES HITTING ME

Aiden: -fucked up.

[gaysftw]

Jordan, about Aiden: Of course I fell in love with him! He's sopping wet and miserable.

Emily, nodding: No. I get it. You’re so right.

[gaysftw]

Jordan: That’s a bad idea

Aiden: Yep.

Jordan: …I’m assuming you already did it?

Aiden: Yep.

[gaysftw]

Jordan: We all have our demons

Jordan, grabbing Aiden: This one is mine

[gaysftw]

Aiden: Everyone wants weird untill weird is actually weird and they don't know how to cope with that.

Jordan: I want weird.

Aiden:

Aiden, nodding: You I believe.

[gaysftw]

Aiden: Name one thing you want to try in the bedroom.

Jordan: What’s the limit?

Aiden: Anything.

Jordan: Anything?

Aiden: Anything.

Jordan: You getting a whole eight hours of sleep

Aiden: …No.

Jordan, scooping him up and hauling him to bed: YOU SAID ANYTHING

[gaysftw]

Jeri: We have a solution!

Jordan: Thank goodness

Lili: It involves fire

Jordan: What?

Aiden: And murder

Jordan: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

[gaysftw]

Lili: I’d like your feedback as to whether I was brilliant or simply outstanding.

Aiden: Passable

Jordan: Kinda lame tbh

Jeri: Yeah idk. You’ve done better

Isaac, not understanding they’re joking: BUT?? THAT WAS AMAZING??

Jax: …I’ll explain later.

Isaac: Okay 😥

[gaysftw]

- Aiden testing everyone’s pick pocketing skills -

Aiden: So. What did you get?

Jeri: This wallet with $12 in it

Aiden: Pretty good. Lili?

Lili: I got this guy’s watch.

Aiden: Smooth, nice. How about you Jordan?

Jordan: I stole… your heart?

Aiden: Impossible, I’m still alive. There’s no way you can do that.

Jordan: Thats not what I-

Aiden: Get back out there!

Jordan: Yes sir.

Aiden: What was that?

Jordan: YES, AZ!

[gaysftw]

Jordan: I had a dream that you were my therapist but all you did was call me a bitch.

Lili: Bitch

Jeri: Dreams do come true