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I need Dr. Damian Wayne except he’s literally just Dr. house. He’s constantly fed up with everyone’s bs and is popping advil like candies.

———

Tim: hey Damian, so great to see my FAVORITE brother ever!!

Damian done with ts: alright what’d you do this time?

Tim: *pulls cape back to show a gun wound* I was shot.

Damian: *sigh* why do I even try

———

Damian’s coworkers: so the patient is having sharp pains, fever, fatigue, and ulcers

One of the doctors: it could be-

Damian: if I hear you suggest lupus one more time I will hit you

———

Bruce: Damian what the hell are you doing?

Damian very obviously playing solitaire on his computer: hm? I’m working duh.

Bruce: I did not pay for ten years of med school for you to play solitaire

Damian: *side eyes bruce* you spend most your days dressed as a bat and solving jigsaw puzzles of cats

Bruce: touché.

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DC! Give me Dr.Dami and my life is yours!!

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Friendship Can b just as fulfilling as any other kind of love Straight up Most people just lowkey don’t fw their friends that heavy but if u ever had a friend u fw HEAVYYY and I mean heavy you’d know what I was talking abt

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one of the fun tim and dick reqs I got was for tim to be lowered headfirst down an alleyway to retrieve something they dropped. Probably something stupid like a boot 😂 nightwing’s just up there holding the grapple with a bare foot braced on the parapet.

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I have a retail job interview tomorrow. Can’t wait to climb the rungs of corporate America !

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Hilarious to me that in fannon so many people decided to give Tim Drake allergies. Thousands of people saw him and said, "This twink looks like he'd be allergic to clam chowder."

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What a bunch of weebs RIP to Bruce's Yacht tho it did not make it home

Tip jar

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A compilation of snuggly Stephcass for all your snuggly Stephcass needs~

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STEPHCASS RAHHHHHHH

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I’m not a “The Drakes Were Bad Parents” person or a “The Drakes were great parents” person but a secret third thing which is “Tim was created in 1989 and as such, was written when “latch-key” kids were more common and accepted which has been difficult to translate into modern day standards.”

I think the best comparison to the vibe intended was Tim is an iPad kid.

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Hot Take:

Damian isn't going to be a medical doctor.

Damian's going to be a nutritionist.

So he can medically keep Tim away from caffeine.

Damian plays the long game.

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Doctor Damian Wayne fic, but make him work with Dr. House to spice things up.

All I needed to say.

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Being carried swiftly by mama

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Bruce just has an absurd amount of suicide attempts

Batkids are going through some old stuff in the attic and one of them pulls out an old newspaper from way back in the day

Sole Wayne Heir fails his 37th suicide attempt or some bullshit

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bruce letting duke learn how to drive on the way to school:

bruce: signal.

duke: hm?

bruce: duke, signal.

duke: uh… yeah?

bruce (raising his voice): signal!

duke (gripping the steering wheel): WHAT??

bruce (bracing himself): SIGNAL!!

damian (triple buckled in the backseat): your TURN SIGNAL, imbecile!

later, bruce: i need to start calling it a blinker.