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Day 2 ko palang dito sa Baguio ulit. Potek naka 600 na agad ako 😭😭

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For context, this is about PBB the harapang nomination. I’ve grown to love AZ inside bnk. I’m just sad that her baring her emotions was held against her as her weakness. I saw how she grew in pbb. From being misunderstood to being loved for staying true despite what others might say against her. At the same time I know she’s afraid, but that doesn’t stop her from caring, feeling and fighting.

Tbh, I’ve grown to like her because of ralph. At first I was just feeling kilig with their small interactions. How those interactions bared her emotions and I saw how genuinely she cared for the other housemates.

The thing about it is she has her own traumas that she’s still trying to battle. It was not easy to get out of a toxic relationship. The manipulation of her ex really did a toll on her self-esteem. The reason why sometimes she just accepts what others say to her.

In her stay at pbb, I saw how she continue to struggle because not everyone is able to understand that she’s going through a tough emotional turmoil because of her pcos. She feel everything in a deeper level and her only outlet is to feel those emotions and cry. Which, most of the housemates didn’t understand.

She was nominated by almost all of the housemates because of that reason. And I know it hurt her more being voted by the people she trusted who have been her safe space— Ralph and Will— the reason? “Being emotional”

It was just one point. But I know, to AZ, that one point felt heavier than the other housemates who received 3 points.

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Mini goal na gusto kong maachieve is to be part of top 10 pre boards ng mga rc. Para wala na akong ibang kalalagyan kundi pumasa sa actual BE

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Papasa ako. Papasa ako. Papasa ako

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Minsan-minsan nalang nag rerelapse😌 Like bigla ko lang naalala yung after clubbing moments namin pupunta kami ng chill bar bago umuwi then one time tumugtog yung “Akin Ka Nalang” by Itchyworms. We were all jamming so I took a video and we’re singing it. No, cause I was singing it while looking at him.

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I remember the time when I was too immersed to what I was reviewing to the point where I feel like my head is going to explode with too much information. So, I take a pause. I breath in and instead I closed the book I was reading and opened the bible app. Instead of continuing to review, I read testaments. I was so tired the night before removals exam reviewing almost all the topics one last time but I was so thankful because I chose to read bible. I was able to calm down, to ease all my worries and trusted God that I can pass the exams. I reviewed, God knows how much I pushed myself. And I trust that He will guide me.

Fast forward, I did it! I passed the removals exam and I was able to graduate ;>

When all feels heavy, and the world seems to move fast, don’t forget to take a moment to stop whatever you are doing and let yourself be calmed at the presence of God. Trust and you will never be disappointed.

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One thing in my mind that no one should know: I kinda want a rhinoplasty 😳🥹👀

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You meanie! You don’t even message me.

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Hah I miss certain someone (like a lot) 😩😩

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I’m that person who always worry about money and I can’t blame my self because I grew up without privilege unlike other kids. Although I’m thankful that even when there are times that we struggle how to make ends meet, my parents are able to support my education. And my relatives are kind enough to help us with all the expenses. With that I was able to graduate.

So yeah, I can’t blame my self for wanting to grow more. For wanting to achieve more. Because growing up, I saw how hard life is for my parents and them wanting to hide their tired demeanor .

I want myself to achieve more because I know she deserves it. She may wonder sometimes if all of this is worth it. She may be tired herself but she always persevered. She may be vulnerable sometimes but she was always stronger than she thinks. She has her own struggles that others may not know and scars that are hidden, so that her loved ones wouldn’t be hurt. It was not easy and life itself will never be easy but I think she’s doing great living for her once a dream becoming her reality.

I know that the young dreamer she once was is so proud of the version of her right now. You don’t have to be scared. He always makes way for you. You just have to take a step. Take courage, you will never be lost in Him. You can do it! CPA, yes? You can do it!

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I remember HAHAHA review season last sem, alam mong gahol ka na sa oras kapag maski minuto inaallocate mo na kung ilang mins per question ng test bank mapasadahan or ilang minutes per page. Sheesh. RFBT and Aud Theo things

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After ng heart to heart talk. Di na ako makatulog AHAHAHAHA. Ang gaan lang sa feeling na makausap sila tita, tito mga pinsan at mama ng ganun. We get to commemorate mommy Hermie’s memories. She will never be gone because her beautiful memories na iniwan samin will forever be with us. You and daddy raised your children well mommy. Look at how they grew up. They love their family so much. You can be rest assured in heaven na yung love na binuo niyo ni Daddy will continue to live on. Thank you Mommy. And thank You, Lord. You truly are amazing. Your love is amazing.

How could I now love less when all along, I was surrounded by people who love me selflessly. Thank you Lord for the assurance and security. Life will never be easy. Life will continue to flow even when things are not easy but life is not forever not easy. You can be sad, angry, tired, but life will always have place for happiness. You can always have bad days but bad days are just part of good days. And you can only focus on one. And I hope despite everything that has happened, you’ll be proud to say that it made you happy. And it was worth every feeling you’ve felt.

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Let me just write here my worries. I really want to talk about this to my family but I don’t know how. It just never comes off my mind no matter how hard I shrug it off. My goal is to pass the Oct 2025 CPALE. And at the same time I want to work but still undecided if saan at kailan? I can’t really be drastic at applying jobs because my top priority is still the review. I also can’t just apply here in Pangasinan because I will be reviewing in Baguio. And at the same time I don’t want to waste time doing nothing. I feel unproductive and unfulfilled. Like there’s something missing being confined here at home doing nothing. It’s just not me. I know I’ve talked about this with Yuan already. His advice to do what I want resonated with me. I also took into consideration the advice of Charlotte to be a full time reviewee. I know not everyone has the privilege to be supported by their family during these review.

I want to work in an audit firm. Be it at big 4 or not. But the workload is what’s keeping me from applying. I know how hectic the audit season right now. And during those experience I’m not that confident to say that I could do well at balancing work while reviewing. I am also thinking of applying as accounting staff in Baguio. A hotel is good too or BPO. But I don’t have any idea how’s the work environment in BPO industry (both accounting and call center) I am also thinking of working in Manila where my tita is. It’s a law firm. I’m not also sure if it’s accounting related work. But a part time would do. Buuuut. The but here is that I will be living with tita. I know we’re close, we really are. But the thing is I know there’s a huge difference when I am going to live with here than the usual family visit every December. I don’t know but the idea is just not comfortable to me.

I worry a lot of things. I feel like I could do more but couldn’t at the moment. I shouldn’t have gave up the apartment in Baguio because the rent was shouldered by my tita but what can I do? I was still undecided of my plans for review at that time. I could still come back at June but I cannot wait that long. I feel like it’s too long. Lord, I’m so torn. Please help me decide. Guide me what should I do? 🥺

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It’s always nice to share these dreams with mama. It’s not possible ma don’t worry. As long as we aspire, it’s always possible. Makakapagtravel rin tayo abroad. Makakapag grocery rin tayo sa SnR and Landers. Makakapag cruise ship rin tayo while having dinner. Makakapag shopping rin tayo for nice clothes ;))

I’ll always trust Him and pray for guidance. Walang imposible. Step by step lang eh. Yung sumakses ka ba AHAHAHA. Kaya yan!

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It would be nice to see you

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Naalala ko lang kanina. Bakit ka nag audit firm? I know medyo may similar boundaries between sa career path natin. I just wonder why? Mahirap pa naman mag assume but I really wonder. Was I part of the thought kung bakit ka ng audit firm? It’s one of the big 4 so obviously the it will open big door of opportunities someday.

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Hi! Just wanna say that I graduated! After all my rants, worries, sadness, disappointments that I vented out here, I thank the Lord because I made it. I graduated BSAc!! OMGGG!!