ghanaisms - Tumblr blog

[ghanaisms]

Jesus, the new face of Islam.

[ghanaisms]

Because some streets are inexpensive

[ghanaisms]

Need more of this guy in the world

[ghanaisms]

Eye Conversion

I went to the eye doctor the other day. After diagnosing me with an eye infection and telling me I can't wear contacts for some time, he then tries to convert me to Christianity, writing down Bible verses for me to read up and all (despite there being a queue of like 50 people). In case you're curious, the verses he recommended are John 3:16, 1:12, 14:6, 15:16. He told me to come back in two weeks - I wasn't sure if I had to come back for my eyes or for a Bible quiz.

[ghanaisms]

The First Modern Human

My colleagues and I were talking about how Africa needs to reclaim it's own production instead of importing so much from the West.

Me: Especially because, you know, the first modern human was found in Ethiopia. That's where they found Lucy's remains.

Colleague: Who?

Me: Lucy, the first modern human.

Colleague: Oh you mean Eve.

Me: !!! *facepalm*

[ghanaisms]

Tro tros that have refused to grow up

[ghanaisms]

Spotted in the University bookstore

[ghanaisms]

Ann Summers at Work

*We are all in the middle of a meeting. Boss (super senior level who is also a Reverend) is sitting at someone's desk, an sees a massage device wrapped up so starts opening it up.*

Boss: What is this?

Me: It's a massage thing.

Boss: How does it work?

Me: Oh you turn it on and then it shakes and you place it on your back or wherever.

Boss: Oh...so it's a vibrator!

*Everyone dies of laughter.*

Boss: You know, I worked in an Ann Summers warehouse in the UK one summer. Their slogan is "Bringing sex to town!" and they have all kinds of products. They even have a vibrator called rampant rabbit.

*On-the-floor kind of laughter.*

Boss: Let's go on their website. See...here's the rampant rabbit.

[ghanaisms]

Spotted at the DVLA

[ghanaisms]

[ghanaisms]

Spotted on the back of a taxi

[ghanaisms]

Books being sold in Ghana

[ghanaisms]

Encouraging Pregnancy

I walk into my colleague's office today who is quite senior with my heavy bag (with laptop).

Him: You need to get pregnant.

Me: ?!?!

Him: You're always carrying such a heavy bag, you can carry a baby.

Me: Uhhh. There are so many steps that need to happen before that.

Him: No, it's the easiest part. Everything else can follow - those things are much harder. And you're an Indian woman. You guys pay the dowry. Just line up all the men and pick one.

[ghanaisms]

Job Perks

Where I work, cars are parked in multiple layers so you have to hand over your car keys to the security staff for them to be able to move your car in case someone else needs to move out. So at the end of the workday, I go to the parking lot to find my car, and see one of the security guys sitting in my car. Of course I ask him what he’s doing, to which he responds “Oh, I’m just listening to the radio.”

[ghanaisms]

If you don't monitor, you don't know what's happening. It's like winking at a girl in the dark.

World Bank Consultant at a formal meeting at the Ministry

[ghanaisms]

From the Ghana Highway Code

[ghanaisms]

Electricity Top Up

I went to the Electricity Company of Ghana office to top up the prepaid electricity card. Turns out they couldn’t top it up - because they didn’t have electricity.