ghostlyvirtues

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HELLO EVERYONE NEW TYLER THE CREATOR ALBUM IS OUT AND IN LISTENING TO THE 1ST TRACK AND THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING GOOD

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Sebastian Smythe is the pinnacle of evil bisexualism in the form of a teenage theatre kid

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I’m rewatching the flash because I’m bored and holy shit this show is so hilariously bad that it’s good

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Ok, I’ll admit, I might be a little crazy about a certain n2n song

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So this is what it’s like to have “I’m Alive” on repeat so many times, huh

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do you all ever wonder how long it took for natalie to learn her brother’s name? the goodmans clearly don’t say it casually around the house, so i’m just picturing little eight year old natalie going up to the attic for the first time and seeing boxes of baby clothes that she knows aren’t hers with a strange name written on them.

or maybe this isn’t actually her first time, maybe she’s been up here before, but that was before she learned how to read so the sharpie letters on the box meant nothing to her. and maybe she started playing with the toys in the box when dan or diana found her, and it caused a weeks-long full mental breakdown and the house was full of screaming and crying and she decided to never go up to the attic again.

but she’s eight now and despite her previous resolve, she’s curious and now she knows how to read, so when she sees the letters spelling out GABRIEL, she puts two and two together and finally learns who this mysterious brother is that seems to haunt their house.

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natalie goodman is such a stronger person than me bc if i got home one day and the first thing my mother said to me after finishing ECT treatment was "who are you again" i wouldve had a explosive crashout so bad it would've made the big bang look like a fucking sparkler

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Ive been mainly talking abt gabe so ima talk about natalie (who could do no wrong in my eyes <3333)

I feel like so many people gloss over natalie, which is just ironic imo

While I’m guilty of that (at first), i could relate more and more to natalie, and I’m sure many does as well

That feeling of feeling invisible in your own home, your own family to the point of taking unhealthy measures to cope with it, the feeling of being overshadowed by your own brother…. AAAHHHHH

Her whole life, natalie has been (presumably) dealing with diana going in and out of hospitals, missing important events, making her feel insignificant, being only second to both of her parents because of her own dead brother, who haunts the house with grief, even to the point where she grieves the life she couldve had if he didn’t exist in the first place

While diana has BPD her whole life, natalie has only ever known neglect from her parents because of it (im in no way of blaming diana for having bpd but im not ignoring the fact it causes problems as well), motivating her to try to graduate early to escape her hellish home life

Henry coming into her life makes her realise that she’s loved and cherished. While she’s been loved by her parents, they barely had the chance to really show it to her to make her realise she actually is loved

Henry is a break of patten that she’s been dealing with her entire life. He shows her he loves her, he says he loves her, but for the life of her, as she sees her mother getting worse, she can’t help but deny herself the show of affection she deserves, that she’s been wishing for

And in the end, she finally accepts henry’s love and affection, and accepting her next to normal ending

Natalie Goodman I love you so much 😭😭😭😭😭 ty for reading me yap about my precious daughter (she’s around my age)

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natalie not ever seeing gabe but feeling him because she never saw him, she came after he was gone, but every day she feels her parents’ grief and pain and she probably feels her own grief from the family she could’ve had… he’s not there for her but she knows he’s there, still lingering in their family.

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Ok I’m lwk going crazy bcs i just posted a yap sesh because of a goddamned musical that made me cry

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I’ve never seen the og production of n2n (and never will after learning about diana’s og actress), only the west end proshot, but is it kind of wild to say that (from what I’ve seen and observed) aaron’s gabe represents dan’s grief more while jack’s gabe represents diana’s grief???

(i’m focusing on the west end more on this post btw)

Bcs in act 1, gabe acts more innocently, acts like how diana imagines gabe to be, like how she would want him to be if he were alive, and this is due to us focusing more on diana

And in act 2, gabe is more angry, more agressive, more destructive because that’s how dan views his version of gabe (who is the personification of grief for the both of them btw, diana just hallucinates gabe), because he feels like gabe is stealing diana away from him, even when gabe is dead, and this is due to act 2 focuses on dan more (imo)

And the way aaron potrays gabe, he seems like how dan views gabe. Agressive, destructive, angry, and stealing diana away from dan and making her spiral to the point of attempting suicide, while jack’s gabe is the complete oposite

Jack’s gabe is more innocent, has mannerisms of a baby at times. He acts like he’s an angel in diana’s eyes, she feels like gabe just wants the best for her, she feels like gabe is just protecting her from dan, who (in her eyes) is trying to take her pride and joy (gabe) away from her

Ok that’s enough from me and I’m probably not making sense

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this may be a reach but you know how light and weather is a recurring motif in n2n? in just another day, gabe calls natalie 'sunshine' which i think foreshadows how natalie was the one to bring hope back into their lives. she was the one to tell diana that they'll get by even if they're not 'normal' like other families because they've never known what 'normal' is— but despite that, they will be okay.

natalie was also the first one to sing in light, saying, "we need some light. first of all, we need some light"— something so obvious, but they were so clouded by grief and pain that the light was so far out of reach for them that they thought their lives would always be dark and rainy. throughout act 2, the stage kept getting darker until there were no more lights on— natalie was the one who turned on the lights that brought back hope and light into their lives.

additionally, natalie also sings, "give me clouds and rain and gray. give me pain 'cause that's what's real" because she has never pretended that everything was normal. she acknowledged the problems they were going through, she knew pain because it's all she's ever known. while she did try to block everything out by doing drugs, she knew it wouldn't really solve anything. she just needed to dull the grief that was so prominent in their home. but still, they needed to feel that grief to finally heal.

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Spoilers for six of crows (book) and shadow and bone (show) about Kaz’s backstory!!!!!!

When I first watched the show and when Kaz said he was reborn (02x04), I thought he meant it literally and he actually got reborn in a new body with his memories still intact

And so, when I read SoC and read that little 9 year old Kaz had swam back to Ketterdam using Jordie’s body to support himself because he survived firepox, where (after seeing Jordie’s body float away when he got back on land) he disowns the name Kaz Rietveld and reinvents himself as Kaz Brekker… (page 276)

Goodness gracious someone give that boy (AND ME) therapy…

AND THE FACT THAT 3 YEARS LATER HE OFFICIALLY JOINS THE DREGS… OHHH MY BOY 😭😭😭

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Catch me I'm falling

prints available

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If I manage to convince my dad to allow me to get a haircut today or tmrw, trust me I’ll be using Jack Wolfe as my inspo 🙏🙏

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N2N obsession is getting so strong that I’m making a texting fic where gabe is alive but the goodmans still have most of their problems bcs I can NOT have a n2n without the angst and trauma

Will I finish it?? We’ll see cus im, like, barely halfway done w chapter one but im very motivated

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some kaz to get me out of an art block