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[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Can you give us a hint on the dead dove fic?! So curious what it could be. Maybe even a line from it🙈

I'm happy to provide a little blurb if that's what y'all want! 👀 Here's a 300-word sneak peek of what's likely to be the next long-form one-shot:

As A Dog

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

Warnings: smut (18+), DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, Jealous!Cooper, canon-typical violence, pet play-ish activity, hard drug use, forced intoxication, slightly fucked-up conceptions of love and loyalty, slapping, boot licking, oral sex (male receiving), face fucking, rough sex, riding, orgasm denial (female), creampie.

Things were quiet between them as she fidgeted in her spot, the tension of an inescapable conversation in the air, but the desert's constant score, the hiss of sand across corroded asphalt, the soft rattle of the wind in the rocky hills, played on. His muddled ears played tricks on him, making him hear murmurs and distant gunshots and the echoing crack of his rifle butt into that farmhand's face, but he tuned them out, focusing on her steadying, but increasingly heavy breathing, his eyes unable to leave her mouth. He let himself drink in the fact that she really was there, sat on her knees in the dirt before him and already begging him for his forgiveness, for his acceptance; corporeal, flesh and blood and her sweet smell and that wet, warm place between her legs. Only in his drug-induced private fantasies had he felt it, but he knew he wanted to bury himself there, as deep as possible, and never let her pull away. She looked up at him so dreamily through those thick lashes, though whether it was real affection in her eyes or simply the haze from all the Jet he'd forced down into her lungs, he couldn't tell. "I really am sorry, Coop." she whispered, those big, round eyes brimming with big, wet tears. It wasn't difficult to see her sincerity, even as he struggled to focus. But that hot coal of bitter anger still smoldered in his gut, not replaced by the lust he felt, but fed by it. Slowly, his own movements labored under the weight of too many substances, he reached out and ran the thumb of his sullied glove along her smooth, smooth cheek. Smearing the trail of wetness there until he was tracing the outline of those pouty lips, he pushed it into her mouth. "Prove it."

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

You should def make a list of boundaries/do not requests!💖

Another great idea; I don't have a ton of "do not requests", as I generally will at least take a crack at most prompts, but there are just a few things that I would prefer to not write about, simply because they feel out of my wheelhouse and I'm not sure anyone, including me, would be happy with the outcome.

I've posted a list of guidelines here, which is also linked in the masterlist/pinned post.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

☢️ Askbox Submission Guidelines ☢️

Hey there, everyone! Now that the blog has picked up some mild steam, I'm getting more and more submissions (which I adore; I love your guys' ideas!) so it's been suggested that I provide some idea of what I will and won't write. There are only a few topics I outright won't write for, and I'll typically at least try my hand at every prompt, but please keep in mind these few things:

Keep asks polite in their tone and be patient if you submit; be as nasty as you want with your ghoul thoughts, but keep in mind that I'm a person just like you. Y'all have been absolute rockstars about this and I'd love to keep it that way!

This blog has largely focused on Cooper Howard from the Fallout television series up through now, but I am open to writing for basically any Fallout ghoul (or any Fallout character in general, really, but the focus of the blog is obviously ghouls).

I will not debate ships on here. It's pointless and no fun!

I am predominately a smut and romance writer, but am happy to take requests for other genres.

In regards to the smut and romance content: this is a kink-friendly blog, inclusive of hard kinks (along with "dark romance"-type topics, like stalking or CNC), and I don't judge any of the requests I'm sent. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in advance!

⚠️ Please do NOT submit asks/requests on the following topics:

focal character death

sexual content involving minors or animals

parent-child incest (I am open to writing for other pairings in relation to incest kink)

scat

sexual torture/major bodily harm inflicted in a sexual manner

anything to do with shipping war stuff (please log off and debate your mom)

Thanks for reading! 💚

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Would you ever do more fics/one shots like close quarters 😶‍🌫️? Literally impossible for me to find anything along those lines and it was so good!! 😖

I really wasn't expecting Close Quarters to have the vocal positive reception that it did! I wasn't originally planning a sequel, but I definitely am now. It'll end up a two-shot, at least. I'm working on several things at once, so it may be a minute, but it's coming!

Anon, if you're into thigh/knee riding and need something to tide you over in the meantime, you can also check out my boot riding one-shot Grunt Work, if you haven't. They're sorta like (step)sister pieces. Thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so glad you enjoy the blog! 🥰

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Prewar!Cooper Howard has a little kink that he's embarrassed to discuss...

He's taken you to your first fancy Hollywood shindig, a cocktail party at some important producer or something's palatial home. It's the first time you two have gone out in public together as a couple, and Cooper had initially been nervous, both about the way people would talk and who would hear that talk, but things had been fun and relaxing all evening, leaving you celebratory and clinging to one another affectionately on the cab ride back home.

You peel off your heels and drop them by the door, missing the way he eyes you as you do. The ache in your arches is distracting at this point, and you crack a joke about the things being torture devices as you shuck them. They're your favorite shoes for nice occasions, earning you plenty of compliments as well as lots of praise from Coop, but they're a pain.

Both of you settle on the couch, your head resting on the arm as you recline, your feet in his lap. He's turned on the radio and is humming along with some slow tune. The liquor had been flowing heavy at the party, and you're both a little toasty as you joke and recount the night's events.

Offhandedly, you mention again that your feet are absolutely killing you from standing in your stilettos all night. Your thoughtful boyfriend quickly offers to rub them for you, and you happily allow him to grab the first stocking-clad appendage, settling in on your back as he begins to rub away.

You can't help but notice, though, that there's a growing tent in his pants as he digs his thumbs into the soft fabric of your stockings, as you hum and sigh approvingly at the way he rubs away the throbbing.

At first, it brings a little grin to your lips, stealing a glance at him, seeing the heavy blush creeping up his neck. Naturally, you assume he's reacting to the sounds you're making, and you begin to tease him with the only appendage you have within reach: your sole.

To say that he enjoys you rubbing your nylon-wrapped foot against his erection is a major understatement. It's clear he's embarrassed, avoiding your eyes as they search for his, but it's also clear that this is driving him wild, his hips involuntarily grinding against your heel as he continues on with the "massage", which is rapidly devolving into him simply pressing your foot down into his lap.

It goes from amusing to arousing quickly, and before you know it, you've splayed your other foot against the floor so that he can watch as you slide your hand into your panties, rubbing feverish little circles around your clit as you watch him hump against your socked foot.

Things rapidly reach a fever pitch, and soon, you're yanked completely into his lap, aggressively riding your way through some very risky unprotected sex. Normally, you're both much more careful than this, but something about what you've just gotten up to has you both so hot and bothered that you can't even make it upstairs to where you keep the condoms. He doesn't even attempt to pull out, only pins you on your back in the soft cushions as he spills inside you.

Neither of you brings it up again for a few days, and you come to assume it was just a silly little experiment inspired by the alcohol. One of your favorite things about being with Cooper is how the older man teaches you things, allows you to experiment in a way that makes you feel safe, so him wanting to try something a bit weird once is unsurprising to you.

However, a few days later, he surprises you with a spa day, pays for you to be pampered while he spends the day on set. One of the services included is a pedicure, but you think nothing of it between the facial and the seaweed wrap. Naturally, when you're home again that evening, you're incredibly relaxed and Coop is more than happy to take advantage of that, spreading your stress free body across the bed and worshiping every inch.

It's when he's on top of you and easing his way inside that it becomes apparent that he may have ulterior motives. He admires the softness of your skin after all the spoiling, running his hands along the velvety expanse of your thigh, tracing up to grope at your calf as he pumps between your legs. They're hooked over his shoulders, and he slowly bends one to trail kisses, up and up, from your kneecap to your ankle, his mischievous gaze burning into you as the kisses continue onto the arch of your foot, bent in for proper access. This tickles, but in a way that tingles up your spine. You're already very close to cumming.

But then he opens his mouth and sort of half-guides your toes to his lips, sucking them gently into his mouth, and the shock and sensation flying down your spine is enough to violently shove you over the edge, spasms rocking your whole body as he strums the sensitive spot between your first two toes with the tip of his tongue. This is more than enough to force you to cum and to force you to accept that fancy movie star Cooper Howard may actually have a bit of a foot fetish.

This is certainly not a kink of his that he would've freely discussed before, between the social stigma of being one of "those guys" and the fact that he's never really had a partner who was too keen on exploring in bed. The thoughts had been there in the past, but were easily brushed off with just a little self-consciousness. With you, though, he feels the sort of connection that allows him to know you'd never judge him.

There's a lot of experimenting in your future.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

i'm loving your posts about the Ghoul!

What are your thoughts about the first time with him? i think it totally makes sense that he is touch starved for the last 200 years.

Maybe the reader reassures him that she wants it, and he says for how long he was thinking about it 😆

Thank you so much for the ask, Anon! I actually have multiple pieces in the works depicting this, so I thought I'd do a little general headcanon overview in the meantime.

First Time Sex With The Ghoul

Despite his big, tough exterior, the poor man is so nervous (and also having a lot of feelings about being with someone for the first time since Barb), so you'll have to really be sensitive to that.

Definitely a long time coming. Even if you started propositioning the man the moment you met him, it would take a solid while of traveling with him before he would even begin to really consider any sort of physical affection between you two as an option. Between self consciousness at how long it's been since he was with anyone, body image issues, touch issues, and genuine disbelief that you'd actually want that with any ghoul, let alone him, he's gotta take a while to work up the guts, frankly.

Also takes quite a while because the mood is spoiled for him easily. I won't say that he's looking for reasons to not have sex (or to stop if you're doing things); moreso that the poor thing simply suffers from hypervigilance after not being able to be that vulnerable for so long. You're camping out within ten miles of a settlement and you wanna fool around? "We shouldn't. Could cause trouble if someone sees us." Slight noise somewhere off in the far distance? "I better go check and see what that was." You make a slightly strangled sound of pleasure? "Shit, am I hurtin' you? Maybe we should stop."

Once you finally work your way up to that point, don't expect to see much of his actual body. At most, he'll take off the hat and the duster. The very first time, I don't even see the gloves coming off, honestly, unless lightening has struck between you. I don't think he would want you to touch any more of his skin than necessary.

All that said, I think once you get him comfortable enough that you're getting naked, he'll be much more at ease. He feels both protected and aroused by being fully clothed while you're naked against him.

Spends a long time in the foreplay stage, mostly because he still remembers what feels good on that front and all your sounds and reactions make him feel confident. Lots of kissing; he adores how much you like to kiss him. He's not so sure he remembers all the steps of the main event, so making you cum on his fingers and tongue over and over again eases his nerves a bit, since he knows that even if he's terrible when the time comes, he at least showed you a decent time.

Speaking of which, as positive as I am that becoming a ghoul would give you pretty decent stamina (increased healing and "recovery" rate?), I am also positive that the second this poor touch-starved man is inside you, he's cumming. You both are sort of anticipating it, though, so no one panics. Give it a few and y'all can go again, trust me. He definitely feels embarrassed, but it'll help a lot if you don't make a big deal of it, reassure him how much you want him, how good he makes you feel. Resist the urge to use the "L" word; this whole situation is already so emotionally overwhelming for him that you're better off waiting.

Once that particular pitfall is navigated, though, his sexual confidence skyrockets. He's dipped his toes back in the pool and no one is dead or heartbroken, and it felt amazing, so have fun navigating 200 years of backed up sexual urges once that dam is broken!

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Can you do a Masterlist with all your one shots? I’m new to your blog and I love every single one but I can’t shake off the feeling that I missed one. Please and thank you!😘❤️

This is a fantastic idea, Anon, and it's the perfect time to do it since I have a handful of pieces, but not so many that cataloguing would be a ton of work. I am also new to my blog, so thanks to everyone for the continued patience as I figure out how things work, and thank you for reading! 🩷

The master list is now available here and is also pinned at the top of the blog.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Master List Of Works

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Asks and submissions are currently OPEN!

Please read the guidelines here before submitting.

[Long Form One-Shots]

☢️ Grunt Work

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

One-Shot, Ask Submission (18+) / 3.9k

Cooper's favorite vaultie companion is pressing her luck as of late and requires some correction.

☢️ Working Girl

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

One-Shot, Ask Submission (18+) / 5.4k

You knew when you took this job that it wouldn't be easy, but you didn't know you'd be expected to sleep with ghouls.

☢️ Bloodletting

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

One-Shot, Ask Submission (18+) / 2.8k

No one told you menstruation would be such a nightmare in the Wasteland when you left the vault. Fortunately, Cooper can offer some relief.

☢️ Close Quarters

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

One-Shot (TBC), Ask Submission (18+) / 2.4k

Crammed into a tight space and hiding from supposed deathclaws, you and Cooper have some sweaty, silent time to kill. Fortunately, his thigh makes as nice a seat as any.

☢️ Smooth Skin

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

One-Shot, Ask Submission (18+) / 3.1k

Cooper is obsessed with the pristine nature of every little thing about his brand new vaultie companion. When she sleeps, he takes a chance to look closer.

☢️ A Fair Trade

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

One-Shot, Ask Submission (18+) / 3.9k

Taken captive by a man who runs an outpost, things get even hairier for you when your captor can't pay an owed bounty to a particularly intimidating ghoul. Then again, maybe trading hands wouldn't be so bad...

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[Drabbles / Headcanons]

☢️ Prewar!Cooper Howard

SFW

- Has a new partner with a fear of horses. (X)

- His middle name. (X)

- Miscellaneous SFW Headcanons 1 (X)

NSFW (18+)

- Gets a little rough with a rebound after his divorce. (X)

- Has a secret fetish. (X)

- Has a corruption kink. (X)

- Loves to fuck outside. (X)

- Smokes during a blowjob. (X)

- Miscellaneous NSFW Headcanons 1 (X)

- Miscellaneous NSFW Headcanons 2 (X)

☢️ The Ghoul

SFW

- Is falling in love with his companion, and things are a little weird. (X)

- Admits he had work done. (X)

- If you outright asked him for a kiss. (X)

- Miscellaneous SFW Headcanons 1 (X)

NSFW (18+)

- Desperately wants to be soft with someone again. (X)

- Is excited when you try on some high heels. (X)

- Has sex with you for the first time. (X)

- Refuses to remove his clothes, ever. (X)

- Captures you as a bounty. (X)

- Has a corruption kink. (X)

- Frenches you a Rad-X. (X)

- Miscellaneous NSFW Headcanons 1 (X)

- Miscellaneous NSFW Headcanons 2 (X)

☢️ General Ghoul Posts

- On the eroticization of Rad-X and Radaway use. (X)

☢️ Non-Ghoul Content

Norm MacLean

- NSFW Headcanons 1 (X)

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

omg foot fetish coop/ghoul supremacy😩😩 (you might have just awoken something in me. I didn’t know I was into guys who had that fetish. maybe it’s just him.)

a-HA! I GOT one of you nasty bitches!! Anon, this is me targeting you specifically with that post:

So, this is probably going to be, unironically, one of my most controversial takes:

Foot fetish stuff is fine, the intense stigma against it is weird, and I kinda wish you saw it talked about more in fandom-type kink spaces. You don't have to listen to me, of course, but I'm of the opinion that if you've never had someone who is really into you ask to suck your toes, you should maybe keep more of an open mind about it.

If it isn't your thing, fine! I totally get that. But let's not pretend that it's anywhere near the weirdest/most off-beat/most controversial kink you'll see discussed on this site, in this fandom, or generally in any space that includes discussion about kink. If we can do things like erotic cannibalism (which...hot and canon appropriate), I think we can all handle being privy to a discussion about how Cooper might like a foot job with some fancy stockings on.

There will be a follow-up post.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

need to know how the ghoul would feel about seeing his lil vaultie reader put on a pair of heels she found🤭 something tells me cooper had a thing for em and forgot all about them til now

See, one of the things I love most about having my ask box open is finding out over and over that y'all really do think just like me. I couldn't agree more: this man absolutely had and has a serious high heel and leg thing.

When you first discover the trunk of old clothes, he would be annoyed at you wanting to waste time playing dress-up, but coming across well-preserved pieces of old world clothing is such a rarity, and this stuff is even in your size! He would get a kick out of watching you try on different pieces of clothing, but when he sees you pull on a pair of pumps, he's hyperfixated in a way that doesn't even really register with him consciously.

Then, when you've had your fill and you're ready to put your clothes and armor back on, he waits for you to strip out of the clothes and then tells you to put the shoes back on, a glint in his eye you recognize well. Big into heels combined with nudity; it drives him nearly feral, pinning you to the floor to run his hands and mouth over every inch of your legs and ass. Feeling his tongue trace over every curve of your shin and calf is ticklish and makes you squeal and giggle, but soon you're begging for him to fuck you.

And boy, get ready to be fucked six ways to Sunday with those heels on. You express concern that you'll scratch or hurt him with the sharp bits and he feverishly tells you to shut up about it, already lifting your legs onto his shoulders. The entire time, he's groping at your legs and ass, feeling down as close to the heels as he can. When everything is said and done, the shoes, at the very least, are coming with you.

And, IN MY EXPERIENCE, men who are really, really into high heels are usually more than a little into feet (you are not allowed to hate me for saying this). The High Heel Incident would really unlock something in him about that, something that he may have been too embarrassed to admit to, or even think much about, before the war. He might find it less odd that he finds your smooth little feet so intriguing now that he is the way he is; I mean, you're so soft everywhere, so different from him. Fixating a bit on that specific part doesn't mean anything, right?

Look forward to him stealing way more little glances at your bare feet in the rare moments you'd feel comfortable enough to take your boots/shoes off, and definitely look forward to him eventually offering to massage them when you complain that they hurt from all the walking. It is not a selfless offer by any means.

Also...I'm just saying...if you wanted to rub your feet on his cock at any time...he wouldn't be mad...

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

I know I was literally just saying how I basically can't help myself when it comes to making everything sort of soft and romantic, but I have some news about what is likely to be the next long-form smut piece out:

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

pls tell us you have more Ghoul Thoughts on the way🙏🏻

General NSFW Cooper Howard Headcanons 2

Prewar!Cooper Howard

Has a little-bitty bit of an intox kink. He'd never do anything untoward, but I think if he had a partner who didn't party much, it would turn him on a lot to watch them getting all warm-faced and losing their inhibitions after exactly one drink. Working in Hollywood means that sometimes you have to go out and attend functions to mingle and rub elbows, so he's pretty good at holding his liquor. Seeing someone who isn't stirs something up in him, and he's not good at rejecting your advances when the two of you get home like he should.

Shibari kink. Doesn't know that's what it's called, and hasn't really read up much about it, but really gets riled up seeing you wrapped in his lasso. One day you find a book about it, and you show it to him as a half-joke. Soon you're wearing a harness made out of that rope underneath your clothes.

Erotic grooming, anyone? This man will jump to help you wash and brush your hair in the shower. He finds it incredibly intimate, and would help Barb take care of her hair when they were together. He's also very happy to help you shave...

The Ghoul

Can we talk about how lazy this man would normally be during sex? He's 260+ years old and spends all day walking for miles in the desert heat and fighting the entire Wasteland. He would absolutely have you riding him/doing most of the work 90% of the time. And you know what? I support it. He deserves a little spoiling, so hop up and go nuts. But make no mistake: he's still the one in control.

Insanely possessive and only tries to hide the parts of it that he thinks would be truly off-putting. He knows he can't literally stop every single man in the world from interacting with you, looking at you...but if he could, he would. Big into marking you up with hickies, bite marks. Scent marking around other ghouls. The idea of tattooing or even branding you makes him hard as a rock, but he'd never bring it up first, too afraid it'd scare you off.

In the same sort of arena, he's obsessed with fucking his load back into you, be it with his tongue, his fingers, or his cock. You did the work of getting it out of him, you earned it; you're keeping it. Better have the Radaway ready.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

your ghoul fics have me in a fuckin chokehold 😭😩 there's nothing i love more in life than a scary sexy man w questionable morals

not to be horny in anon but like... imagine the reader, after having been traveling together for a while, being an insufferable brat for a couple days, just tap dancing on coop's last nerve- but he's not gonna get rid of you, he's seen you in action, despite his lone-ranger status, you're too useful. too skilled. too good at surviving in the wasteland as a vaultie for this not to have been destined. at least that's what he tells himself to avoid facing the fact that, well, poor bastard caught feelings. basically this is a long winded way of me saying boot riding as punishment, cause the man deserves a free polish 😶

Grunt Work

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Vault Dweller Reader

Word Count: 3,920

Warnings: smut (18+), BDSM-style dynamics, boot riding, masturbation (male), begging, mild hair pulling, mild cum play, Cooper is a softie (but a pissed off softie).

Notes: Anon, I wish you would've been here to see me read this request for the first time. I think a small part of my brain exploded. How did this become 4,000 words? It may have turned out softer than you envisioned (not the first time I've given that preface/apology and it certainly won't be the last; The Ghoul is soft deep inside and you cannot tell me otherwise!), and if so, I hope you still enjoy. Thank you for reading!

Every day with this girl was an exercise in self-restraint.

Granted, the type of self-restraint varied greatly from day to day, hour to hour. From the moment he had agreed to do business with the vaultie, she'd been testing his patience, his boundaries, his sense of what was normal.

Generally, he quite liked it. It was actually endlessly refreshing, he found, to spend time with someone who treated him like he was human, who he felt comfortable enough to actually relax a bit around. Someone who still had some sunshine left in them. Slowly, agonizingly so, they'd developed a bit of a rapport, then a genuine trust, which had eventually (and somewhat recently, given the scope of all the months they'd been traveling together) bloomed into more. What you'd call that "more", he wasn't really certain.

It had been the first time he'd allowed himself any sort of dalliance in that area since he'd divorced Barb all those years ago, and it had been both amazing and heartbreaking. Establishing that new attachment with his little vaultie had been the first time in lifetimes that he truly felt connected to his humanity, the way she'd kissed him and clung to him and sighed his name just like one would with any normal man.

He really had forgotten how wonderful it could be to be with someone, to let them get as close as they possibly could, even though he looked the way he did, acted the way he did, and refused to take off anything besides his duster, his gloves, and his hat.

He knew, deep down somewhere, that she wouldn't reject him simply for what his body looked like. Not at this point. Unfortunately, her feelings about his body didn't really change his feelings about his body. Still, getting to feel her and hold her close had been even better than he'd imagined.

But that new moment of connection, that next and first step, also meant he was fully closing the door on his time with Barb; he'd always been faithful to her, even after they'd split, since he'd really had no interest in dating again in the time after the paperwork was finalized. Then the world had ended and wasn't even a thought in his mind for ages. It had taken him months to even see the advances the girl had been making towards him, months more to reciprocate them.

As asinine as it would seem, becoming this close, actually giving himself to someone else physically and emotionally, made his two-centuries old divorce finally feel real. His ex-wife could still well be out there somewhere, as far as he knew, but they'd never be together again, even if by some wild chance they were reunited. Those special feelings he'd once held so deeply for her were no more.

When his companion had finally fallen asleep that night, tucked naked and warm against his side and wrapped in the tail of his duster, he had shed a few tears, something he genuinely didn't believe he was still capable of.

She didn't seem to be sleeping as deeply as she typically did that night, but if she'd overheard his incredibly vulnerable moment, she never let on or brought it up, and he was endlessly grateful for it.

Maybe he was just growing soft with old age.

She was also quite the burgeoning Wastelander, a shockingly good scavenger with a sharp eye for value and utility, small enough to fit in places that he couldn't, her little hands quick at hacking terminals and picking locks. But, despite her small size, she was quite strong, able to handle herself far better in most fights than he'd ever expected a vault-dweller to be capable of. He didn't necessarily need to watch over her every single second, but the urge persisted, nevertheless. Seeing her safe, seeing her happy, those things gave him a strange sense of inner peace that he hadn't felt in ages. It had become second nature to hover around her.

Besides, as of late, keeping an eye on her every second seemed to be his best bet to stay alive. He was genuinely unsure if his girl (Was that what she was?) had been dealing with an especially bad streak of luck over the last week, or what, but she was rapidly grating on his nerves much more usual.

First, she had managed to nose her way into a yao guai den and set the thing off chasing her, resulting in him taking a pretty nasty swipe to the side before they could put it down, several foot-long tears in his already worse-for-wear coat. However, she'd apologized profusely, spent a few hours that night mending and patching up his coat. He found it impossible to stay mad at her through either.

Then, she'd done the exact same thing a few days later, but with a pack of nightstalkers. He'd nearly lost a finger helping her fight them off, the shitty little things infinitely more tough than one might expect. After that, she was officially no longer in charge of picking where they slept, an arrangement he hadn't been fully aware he'd entered into until he'd had to put his foot down about it. Whatever, she'd pouted a bit and insisted it wasn't her fault. He didn't love how little she spoke to him when she was pouting, and her resolve for keeping at such things was irritatingly strong, but what bothered him more was how well it worked.

Eventually, he'd apologized for snapping at her. That night, she chose where they slept. He tried to not think too long on why he'd let her.

He didn't fully understand why he found himself acting this way around her, and only her. All he knew for sure was that he'd be devastated to lose her, as chagrined as the admission made him, and so he did his best to make things pleasant to keep her around.

What she'd pulled today, however, had managed to officially piss him off.

After a long week of iffy sleep and more scrapes with wildlife and fiends than usual, they had both been a tad testy by the time they'd reached the shabby little trading outpost at the edge of the Wastes, one of the last places you could reliably stop for clean water and supplies in this section of the desert going the way they'd come from. It was also a reliable place for him to obtain vials, and had come in handy to a life-saving degree more than once.

The girl had gotten slick-mouthed with the proprietor over the price of some fancy machine parts she'd scrounged up, insisting that they were worth far more than he was offering her. Granted, she was right; the man was attempting to swindle her, to some degree, but frankly, the damn things were cumbersome and heavy and he wouldn't even call the price she could theoretically get for them worth hauling them around in the heat. If it were him, he wouldn't have dragged them all this way, and would certainly ditch them now.

For reasons he couldn't fathom, though, her solution to the man offhandedly threatening to just keep the damn things had been to pull her pistol on him, which, of course, had set off an entire chain of unnecessary events. The owner's gun had come out, as well, then Cooper's, despite him actually trying to talk the situation down for once.

The man wouldn't relent, however, and he had been forced to shoot his hand off to end the conflict without her blood being spilled. Well, maybe not completely forced, but it certainly felt that way at the time. That particular trading outpost had been incredibly useful to him for well over a decade, and now he wouldn't be able to return.

If it had been anyone else, he probably would have shot them.

Not probably. He would have shot them.

But instead, here he was, tucked into a creaky old UV-eaten lawn chair, smoking and trying to disguise how unsettlingly happy he was to finally have some safe alone time with her beneath his annoyance at being inconvenienced. If there was one thing he hated, it was being inconvenienced. But, if there was one thing he greatly enjoyed, it was her company, so he was at a bit of an impasse.

It was moments like this where he wondered if he'd finally poisoned his brain with too much Jet or any other number of substances, the haze that consumed him every moment around her thick. Even now, when he was angrier with her than he'd ever been at any point in their travels, he couldn't focus on his legitimate grievance because he wanted her so badly. It was the single most irksome thing he'd ever experienced.

She was quickly sniffing out this weakness of his, perceptive little minx that she was. Increasingly, she was quick to soothe his bad moods with little touches and kisses, and it made him melt embarrassingly every single time. He'd been livid and silent as they'd trudged away from the building, both of them covered in rapidly-cooling blood spatter, when she'd brushed her hand along his back softly; a sort of apology, he supposed. Since then, his main source of anger had been himself and his lack of resolve when it came to this particular woman.

The old cowboy was determined to teach her a lesson today, though.

He'd spent the better part of an hour checking their perimeter once they'd come across this place, and the little sniper's nest where they were holed up had a great view of the area. It certainly wasn't much, little more than a rusty metal panel jammed between some rocks, a mattress, a chair, and a radio. But for the first time in a few weeks, things were safe, quiet, and calm. They had plenty of rations between the two of them, and water wasn't as much of a concern as it had been on their way in. She was so comfortable that she'd actually shed her boots and socks, her dainty little feet curled up underneath her as she nibbled away at something under the ramshackle "roof".

Now was the time. He just had to wait for the opportunity.

"You've been quiet since we left the traders." she said after a while of companionable, though mildly terse, silence. It wasn't a question, but at the same time very much was, and the casual, roundabout way she was addressing what was her own actions made him scowl slightly.

"You've been a pain in my ass these last few days, sugar." he said flatly, glaring at her as best as he could from under the brim of his hat. "Should be happy I've just been quiet now."

She actually rolled her eyes slightly, but clearly didn't think he'd seen it, keeping silent as she continued to eat. Increasingly bold for someone within grabbing distance. Cooper let a few seconds pass, studying her.

"Y'know, when I was in the marines, if you were a little shitheel, they'd make you do grunt work." he said eventually, voice matter-of-fact.

She pursed her lips at that, finishing up the can of beans she'd been steadily tucking into.

"I don't think I know what that is." she replied almost absentmindedly.

"It's the shit work no one ever wanted to do, so being assigned to it was intended as a punishment. Scrubbin' floors, toilets. Peelin' potatoes. Polishin' boots."

She chuckled at his anecdote as if it were meant to be entertaining, but the way he let her laugh hang in the silence, staring her down as she sat there curled up beside him, said otherwise. After a moment, she sort of narrowed her eyes at him, her tone low, almost conspiratory, when she asked:

"What're you playing at, cowboy?"

"I'm sayin' you're in trouble, cowgirl." he replied, reaching out to hold her chin solidly in his grip and watching her pout. "I'm sayin' that I think a little grunt work would do you and that attitude of yours some good, and I'm sayin' that I think you should polish my boots."

"Polish your boots?" she repeated, wrapping her tongue around each of the words like they were foreign to her.

"Pretty sure there ain't a functioning toilet within a hundred miles of where we're sitting, and I ain't got any potatoes. So…"

"You can't be serious." she said, her eyes full of curious suspicion as she looked him up and down.

Releasing her chin, the old ghoul set to removing his gloves, tugging his second hand free and using his naked pointer finger to draw a little 'x' over his heart.

"Serious as the grave, darlin'."

There were a few pregnant seconds of them staring one another down, waiting for the other to bend, to flinch. She even lifted her chin towards him, just enough for him to pick up on, an unspoken challenge. God, she was so like him.

"Now…be good and take your clothes off." he smirked, brows raising when she made to argue in response. Her lips worked their way between her teeth as she hesitated before slowly dropping all her armor from her arms and torso, then drawing the dirty shirt underneath over her head.

"Is that better, Coop?" she asked, letting her hair down out of the knot she'd tied it up into on top of her head, the strands framing her face as she worked him over again with those eyes of hers. Pulling herself up into a standing position, he did his best to ignore the way her bare breasts moved and dipped with gravity.

"Mmm. I think it would be more fittin' if you called me 'sir', frankly."

"You cannot be serious!" she insisted again, indignant as she slid the zipper on her trousers down, her tone making him chuckle despite himself. She just didn't know when to quit, and it was fucking adorable.

"Am I ever unserious?" he asked, ignoring the look she shot him back in favor of watching her slowly work the worn pants down over the curve of her ass, dropping them into a pile around her feet and leaving her standing there as naked as the day she was born. He felt his already-stiffening cock twitch slightly, resisting the urge to rub himself through the faded pinstripes of his pants. This was supposed to be a punishment for her, and doing that would give her too much opportunity to distract him.

"Aww, c'mon, boss." she sighed, pressing at a hidden button of his, cocking her head and sending that silky curtain around her face glinting in the light.

"I mean it, missy. You fucked up pretty bad today, and you need to be punished for it. And what did I just say?" he responded, fighting hard to keep his voice even and body still.

"Well…what else would you have in mind as a punishment, sir?" she purred as she stepped back towards him, batting those long, dark lashes his way. He managed to keep his eyes on hers and off of her body, a task that felt herculean as the ache in his gut grew more intense. For a split second, he wanted to give in to her, to pin her to the ground and fuck the attitude out of her like he'd wanted to for days. But there would be plenty of time for that later.

"I promise you that if you knew your other options, darlin', you'd choose this." he replied, finishing his smoke and tossing the butt away. Digging his inhaler out for a quick puff, he finally removed his hat and set it aside, reclining just enough to allow his feet to stick out a few inches in front of him.

She huffed at her little ploy failing to work, crossing her arms and cocking her hip slightly. Cooper's teeth dug into the inside of his cheek to keep back a grin.

"Well, are you gonna take them off?" she demanded.

He couldn't hold back his smirk at that, his head cocking as he continued to stare her down.

"Just how long are you gonna keep playin' dumb? You know it's gonna get cold when it gets dark."

Studying her face, he could see the faint lines of confusion there, and wondered if maybe she really didn't know what he meant.

"There's a reason I wanted you naked, honey, and it ain't just the view."

Though it certainly didn't hurt.

It took a few long, long seconds of her looking him up and down, wondering, but eventually the glow of realization lit up her face, followed by more brow furrowed confusion.

"How would that even work?" she asked, though her tone was more curious than argumentative.

"I suppose you'll figure it out, huh? Askin' an awful lot of questions for someone who's about to be freezin' their twat off in about half an hour." he said, watching with apparent glee as she fidgeted in place, pulling another cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it.

Still attempting to make a stand, she didn't move, chewing away at that bottom lip as she hesitated there. He could smell that she was already turned on.

"Go on. Get to work." he ordered softly, exhaling smoke through his nose, staring into her eyes.

After a heartbeat, she seemed to accept her fate and slowly lowered herself down onto her knees in front of him. That, too, made his cock jump. Her cheeks had a visible rosy hue as she clearly struggled to arch herself at the right angle to make proper contact; after a few long seconds of her huffy sighs, he took mercy on her and tilted the toe of his boot more skyward, allowing her to begin to rub herself back and forth across the dusty leather in earnest.

He watched as her face slowly morphed from mildly confused concentration to blossoming arousal, the tint in her cheeks growing until it consumed her entire face.

"How does it feel?" he asked quietly, taking another long drag off of his smoke.

"It feels good." she huffed, a light sheen of sweat glinting on her soft skin.

He reached out and grabbed a fistful of her hair at that, squeezing just enough to make her gasp, her eyes flying open to gaze up at him, wide and wet.

"Feels good what?" he demanded. "Given you an awful lot of chances on that, kid. Y'know, insubordination usually calls for more severe punishment."

"It feels good, sir." she replied, her hips stuttering slightly as she struggled to move them with her head fixed in place, her eyes falling shut again. He found it a little surprising that the mild pain hadn't stopped her or made her complain more. If anything, she'd seemed to like it. He took note of that for later.

"Tsk. Well, it's supposed to be a punishment, but I guess I can't help it if a little freak like you gets off on polishin' my boots. Guess I did know a guy in the service who really liked bein' made to scrub the floor, but, between you and me, I think he might've had a little thing for bein' pushed around and told what to do." Cooper's voice fell to a secretive murmur as he spoke to her, watching her eyes dart away as he teased her.

However, as he watched her slide herself back and forth across his foot, he found it more and more difficult to resist the urge to touch himself. When her eyes didn't open for several minutes, focused entirely on the sensation, it would seem, he took the opportunity to palm his cock, his hips eventually beginning to rock against his hand. That movement caught her attention, her gaze burning into him as she watched; this was a button of hers for whatever reason. Feeling emboldened and somewhat sure that she was too distracted to cause trouble, he quickly undid his belt and fly and tugged his erection free, a shiver running down his spine as he gave himself a few experimental pumps in the cooling air.

Unfortunately, he'd underestimated how coherent she still was, her head remaining low, but her right hand creeping up his leg towards his hand. He jerked his chin towards her, sending her jumping back a bit. However, she didn't look fearful, more chastened.

"Don't. You. Fuckin'. Dare." he growled, his hand not stilling for a moment. "If you touch me, I'm gonna put you over my knee and spank your little ass until you can't sit right for a week."

His threats only seemed to make her hotter, a throaty moan leaving her as she began to hump his boot with increased speed, all attempts at preserving any semblance of her dignity abandoned in the pursuit of her orgasm. The grip he was maintaining on himself tightened, and a growl ripped out of his chest in response as he fought to keep his eyes open and on her. If he could still sweat, he'd be pouring it just like her.

Cooper's leg jerked involuntarily as a particularly strong wave of pleasure shot up his spine, digging the toe of his boot harder into her weeping little slit, and she keened in response, her body beginning to twitch all over like it did when she was nearing her end.

"You close, honey? You wanna cum?" he asked feverishly, rapidly sprinting towards his own finish line.

She nodded rapidly, her breasts heaving with her strained breath as her nails dug into his thigh.

"Please, please, please..." she breathed over and over.

"Look at you, just cleaned the thing and you're about to make a mess all over it because you're such a needy little slut." he chastised, breaking down into a harsh whisper as he seized her by her hair once more, his cig hanging loosely from his lips. "Go on, baby. Cum all over my boot."

The labored whine she let out as she lost herself all over him, and the blissful way her face contorted as she cried out, was more than enough to finish him off, his release spurting all over his hand and stomach. They both growled and groaned their way through their shared release, her collapsing against the inside of his leg as she panted heavily. Working to control his own breathing, he let his head fall completely back with a blunted "thud" against the frame of the chair, releasing his grip on her head.

After a few quiet moments, they both rather sheepishly peeked at one another. He held his spend-covered hand up in front of her face, the mess catching the fading light as he reached out towards her.

"You're gonna have to clean that up, too." he said softly, rubbing some of the slickness across her lips, barely holding back a groan when the little pink tip of her tongue darted out to lap at his fingers as they passed by.

"Mmm. Yes, sir." she responded, gently laying her temple against the side of his knee, those big, round eyes slowly slipping shut. Cooper reached out and laid his palm against her head, petting her now-rumpled hair with more affection than he'd like to admit, admiring her in the golden-red hue of the evening sun.

"Don't get too comfy there, sweetheart." he said after a few quiet moments, his cock beginning to stir again. "Don't forget, I've got another boot."

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

y'all: "here's a really nasty idea in your submissions, go nuts"

me:: okay but what if it was nasty and also incredibly romantic?? 🩷🩷

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

this is a stupid question considering your blog name but do you write for norm by any chance?

Absolutely not a stupid question. I love that little man and would've put out at least a one-shot about him eventually even if I didn't have a request for one, which I do! I have several pieces 'in line' in front of it, but I will absolutely get around to writing more Norm-based stuff that isn't just headcanons and shitposting at some point soon.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Here's a little headcanon request:

What do you think Cooper's middle name is?

This was a fun ask to think about! As someone who is originally from the country-ass-country, I think this man 100% has his daddy's (or maybe his grandaddy's) first name as his middle name, and it's something real straightforward and traditional. My heart says John, which is literally THEE white man middle name, but James/Henry/William/Jack, anything of the sort, all excellent fits.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

me: Cooper Howard would never cheat on his wife. When things weren't working for him because she turned out to not be who he thought she was, he did the mature thing and divorced her. It doesn't align with his character. I will die on this hill.

also me when someone writes Cooper Howard affair smut: