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Chapter 2 - Hero Schools

The Government-Hired Heroes, shortened simply as the GHH for convenience, was a specific branch of the police born around the 12430s as an answer to the growing rise of superpowered crime; if the future of felony was in individual personalities with outstanding traits more so than in large organisations of nameless, faceless crooks, as it had appeared back then, authorities would adapt and follow suit. Originally rather small, it soon imposed itself as a signature part of the police force. As the years passed, and the GHH solidified its political importance and cultural impact, one would have expected more and more abilitied folk to flock to its doors every year; and, though, in some regards, that wasn’t inaccurate, the truth was a bit more complicated.

While back in the first few months of 12417, abilities were brand new, flashy and rare, assuring anyone who had them to be put into the spotlight, advantaged regardless of what the ability actually was, the First Supervillain crisis just half a year later proved how unstable the status of abilitied people was. Even after the abilitied revolt, Scarlet Maylis’ government and reforms, and abilities becoming an everyday thing, over the following century, this trend only worsened. The GHH had more stories wherein everything went wrong than of normal, successful heroes, it seemed. The truth was, the media simply made more noise for those trashy tales, but that was enough to stain te GHH’s reputation. And it all had started with its inception.

Scarlet Maylis, or the iconic “magical girl” Bleeding Heart, generally seen as the de facto leader of the First District, a movement spawned in response to the First Supervillain discourse to offer the discriminated abilitied an outlet, and that had eventually grown to carry out a full-on coup d’état, defending the rights of her kin all throughout the country, had gradually grown more and more extreme in her views once put in charge of the government. While many still remembered Bleeding Heart, and that cute little cheerleader chant - “B, L, E! E, D, I! N, G, ♡!” - fondly, her role as a quasi-dictatorial leader was controversial, splitting the public opinion to this day. And the Government-Hired Heroes, born under her jurisdiction, were stained with a similar reputation. One of the first big GHH controversies was that of Adrian and Luna Maylis, Scarlet’s own children and some of the first-ever GHH heroes, enrolled in their youth and who’d both run away from that responsibility before they’d even hit their coming of age - sixteen years old. Though they both eventually returned and enrolled back into the force after all just a few years later, the damage was done.

But besides the GHH and its leaders’ own faults, heroism just didn’t have as favourable an image as many other jobs. As a result of Maylis’ politics, abilitied folk had become the majority; it was no longer a standout category that ensured you an edge others didn’t have on the job market. Plus, heroism didn’t pay all that well, and the interviews were infamous for being especially harsh. Many parents therefore advised their offspring against pursuing such a career, and even if many GHH-philes still enrolled by dozens into the GHH, it found itself short on staff by the turn of the century.

The government needed to find a way to solve this. While heroism itself was in deficit, the capital’s culture, tourism and advertising depended on its theatrics. They had to make heroism more appealing, to stop abilitied people from picking other careers, or worse, using their abilities for crime and further overworking the GHH. Investing remarkably high amounts of money, they came up with an eccentric solution : hero schools.

Entirely government-funded, they were free, well-furnished schools who, on top of teaching typical subjects, promised to raise children into the GHH-compliant heroes they were always meant to be. In other words, they were free schools that ensured a stable, guaranteed job to anyone who passed with decent honours, right upon graduation. Heroes, vigilantes and villains had always been most popular amongst children; to them, there was a certain prestige to attending such a school, which made them brag about it to their friends and peers, who in turn whined to their parents to let them attend as well. Add in a few meaningless advantages and coupons, and the formula was complete; not only that, it was successful.

The GHH went from accepting any old resume that still dared come their way to reaffirming its cutthroat reputation as a prestigious organisation; it seemed nearly impossible to be hired for one who hadn’t graduated from a hero school. The two institutions grew almost indissociable over time; The hero-school grading system - C, B, A, S - became a standard of the GHH itself, which now categorised its numerous employees in the same way; C rank, B rank, et cetera. These ranks were made public as well, as fans loved to tier and compete, and reflected a difference in workload, work ethic and efficiency expected from different heroes, as well as the way they were treated. Salary, leniency of their superiors, general authority within the workplace; a bonafide hierarchy formed between employees that, on paper, shared the same contracts and jobs.

The rankings became more and more central to the GHH’s inner workings over time, and would determine things such as which heroes were paired up together; Bs with Bs, As with Cs, and Ss by themselves. In other words; As got to boss Cs around, Ss had private offices, and Bs did most of the work on their own. There were exceptions - the Golden Trio was allowed to work together, thanks to the influence of Bonnie’ family - but they were few, and didn’t change the overall situation.

The inequalities leaked out of the GHH’s walls, spreading to the capital as a whole. Non-abilitied folk, who had already become a minority, were now further disadvantaged; while, technically, one was not required to have an ability in order to be hired by the GHH, as that would’ve legally counted as discrimination, it was indeed a requirement in order to be enrolled into hero school, as that legally counted as a necessary credit. Thus, non-abilitied kids would often be shunned by their classmates, or even their own parents.

Still, it wasn’t as though every kid wanted to pursue that career path, nor like every parent was willing to support such a choice. Many abilitied people still led typical studies; such was Neville Elire Schifozzo. Born to a lower middle-class family, he had no interest in heroism; he’d attended public education, been taught plumbing, and worked as a plumber from age sixteen to age thirty-two, married and divorced. Somewhere along the way, he’d longed for something else. Something more. Anything, maybe. Or something specific. Either way, that desire had led him to the GHH. But how could he hope to be hired given his education? Simple: His ability.

Though it looked like simple teleportation at first, it was completely different, and unlike anything that had ever been seen before. Manipulating space was as close to reality warping as abilities had gotten since the death of Providence, a sister-in-arms of Scarlet and the rest of the First District, who had the ability to manipulate events, people, probabilities and their consequences themselves. While nothing as all-encompassing as that, Spatial Plumber’s ability was still leagues above average, with endless potential for defense, offense, sneaking, information-gathering and all other purposes. And yet… his unwillingness to speak up about it and lack of proper experience in the heroism field landed Neville at a solid B. Thus, he ended up teamed up with another B ranking hero: Bubblegum.

She was what Neville had been looking for. Not in any romantic sense, but more generally, in his life. She had the spunk, the energy, the optimism that he had lost, if he ever had it. She quite simply lit up his life. She liked his company too; he was entertaining, honest, simple, and polite. Their friendship was clear to see in how they worked together. Something tied that quiet, unassuming man and that loud charismatic girl together, whatever it was. Maybe that was why they would both, separately, end up quitting the GHH to do their own thing.

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Chapter 1 - The Enigma

An alarm rang throughout the clinical hallways of a large office building, echoing against its walls of glass and steel. An intruder had broken into District 3’s Government-Hired Heroes. station. Worse yet, it wasn’t any known, run-of-the-mill villain ; no, the portal-wielding, middle aged, aloof looking man that appeared on the station’s surveillance footage was wholly unknown. Although, that hardly mattered. What mattered is that he had broken into the offices of the capital’s super-abilitied forces, and he needed to be stopped.

Fortunately, that shouldn’t prove to hard. To a criminal, this reinforced building and its dozens of employees, almost all of which had once been heroes, was a like a maze filled with land-mines. Reinforcements were on their way. Now all that was left to do was corner the mystery intruder, and hope he wouldn’t end up causing too much property damage.

That, however, did not account for the second surprise of the day ; Spatial Plumber, a B ranking hero from District 14 going by the civilian name of Neville Elire Schifozzo, was already there, and laying traps to deal with the intruder. Wait, what?

Neville had long been noted as a… difficult hero. He’d been hired rather late in life compared to most, having already years of experience in plumbing prior to working for the GHH. He also didn’t have much of the formal qualifications to be one ; but he had been hired for one reason, and one reason alone - his ability. And yet, despite the GHH’s nagging curiosity, he refused to speak up much about it. Thus, only Neville himself knew the limits of his ability - but what the GHH knew for sure was that he could reduce the space between an entity and another so long as no solid stood in between, and that the larger the space, the longer it took him - though distances below 3 meters were pretty much instant. Neville used his ability in tandem with his second quirk ; his affection for machines and gadgets.

One of the ways he liked to operate was planting his odd, homemade gizmos all around the battlefield, baiting his target into getting close enough for him to use his ability effectively : reducing the space between his opponent and the traps without leaving them any time to react. His superiors had tried time and time again to suggest him more optimal ways of using his ability - only for Neville to argue he wouldn’t be able to do that, and them to have to give up, given that they couldn’t prove otherwise.

Still, none of that explained why he was here. His station wasn’t the one they’d called for help - District 12’s was. A simple intrusion wouldn't have been a true issue to the GHH, but if Neville was going to intrude and play vigilantes, then it may become one. Neville's resourceful, unpredictable methods, coupled with his stubbornness, sounded like they'd be nothing but trouble. And to make matters worse, their mystery intruder of the day wasn’t looking any easier to deal with.

While security was waiting on the District 12 heroes to arrive, and trying to contact District 14 for explanations on the plump plumber’s antics, the few non-retired heroes already present had attempted to handle the situation on their own ; only to fail with theatrical flair. At the first hint of a colorful rainbow beam unlawfully aimed at his back, he’d already opened and hopped into a portal, some form of dimensional tube traced into the air by the enigmatic man. Just a second later, he jumped back out, into some other hall, further inside the building. He was heading for the central staircase.

At least, only he was inside the actual building ; Neville remained out in the open, unable to pass through walls so easily. Separated in that way, they’d be easier to deal with. The heads of security did some quick thinking ; they knew the Golden Trio was on their way from District 12. Melp wouldn’t be much use without a name, but Yar’s usual role in obstructing and distracting, coupled most importantly with Pop’s own portal-like abilities may prove crucial in handling the aloof, elusive intruder. He’d proven shifty and capable of dodging attacks with ease ; however, he himself seemed surprised when he did. He likely just had some slight esper intuition, easy to overwhelm in numbers. The three girls would do fine. That left only the Spatial Plumber to deal with. Luckily, being a GHH employee meant other members of the force had already gone to great lengths figuring out his every weaknesses and shortcomings. Neville had an easy counter ; flight. Any available hero that wasn’t tied to solid ground would fit the bill - that is, as long as Neville was still outside the building. They’d had every exit locked, but already the latex-clad fellow had outsmarted them. Though no opening in the skyscraper’s walls were large enough for he himself to pass through, just a half-lidded window was enough to transport his traps and tricks into the station by reducing the space between his gadgets and the building’s floors.

It was rare for D5’s station to be attacked. It was essentially the academic and business place-to-be of the capital - ergo, almost entirely devoid of housing. Since heroes were generally assigned to their birth or residing district’s station, the 5th had the fewest of any district, even with a few agents from other, over-populated districts being reassigned to work in District 5. Instead of having a large force, District 5 had a large administration ; essentially, it presided and coordinated every other station. It was often hijacked by groups that tried to disturb the GHH’s cooperation, but never on its own - an arrested and jailed villain originating from the district had even been asked about this trend, only to respond with “What would even be the point? To make a statement, by attacking the least dangerous of the stations? To steal encrypted data that’ll probably just get you tracked and arrested within the day?”.

The data theft theory seemed the most likely in the portal-wielder’s case. He wasn’t exactly armed, in fact he looked more as though he was headed to a date, if said date had occurred decades ago, with his ‘romantic gentleman’ mustache and beige-brown popped collar coat. It was odd, yes, but looked enough like other phantom thief types. Besides, his ability allowed for just that ; easy sneaking-ins and getting-outs.

As for Neville, it appeared his goal was to stop the aloof enigma. Unfortunately for him and thankfully for the GHH’s credibility, his methods were unfit to fight his current opponent. The older man simply zapped around through portals, narrowly avoiding everything and anything Neville could throw at him. Just as before, it didn’t even seem like he was very skilled at it. He was often surprised by a trap that the plumber had already used against him dozens of times, and would occasionally need to quickly replace a poorly placed portal with another. He always seemed distracted, airheaded and daft-looking, as if not even he knew what he was here for. Whenever he caught wind of a camera, however, he smiled.

Still, Neville had been smart here. If he couldn’t conveniently trap the portal wielder with just one trick, he’d overwhelm him and cut off all exits. Even by his own standards, the Spatial Plumber deployed an abhorrent amount of trinkets and machines. They ranged from things as simple as bear traps and barbed wire to nonsensical assortments of pipes that weren’t copied from any conventional, patented object, but rather originals of Neville’s creation - at least, supposedly. The GHH had an entire list of these machines and had come up with colourful names for each of them, recording their effects and hypothesised mechanisms, yet couldn’t determine with certainty who had actually built them - Neville, some friend of his, villains, stray mad scientists, children, aliens, any theory stood.

The thief continued jumping through walls, from portal to portal, triggering and just barely dodging a few nets and mud streams as he tried to get wherever he was headed. As soon as he found a tiny corner of room Neville had omitted to trap, he stopped, leaned against the wall, rubbed off sweat, and took in a deep breath.

By the time the Golden Trio arrived, the intruder had gone up three floors, and down one again. It consisted of three recent recruits ; the A-ranking Yar, the cartoonishly cute daughter of the humble but no less outstanding Trofeo family of heroes, the S-ranking Pop, some lunatic artistic type that had sprouted from the country’s outbacks, and the B-ranking Melp, that the GHH saw as the weak link - a judgement that wasn’t helped by the fact she’d failed to be hired at the same time as her associates; only making it in a year later. The three young adults all had unconventional abilities, yet had studied, trained and graduated together thanks to creative synergies ; they even shared a flat and had matching costumes. Cute, and enough to drive the fandom crazy, but not always ideal in high stakes situations. Their viability was assured by Pop’s ability : it had few counters and solved many issues with no other answers. The doll-like blonde could access some pocket dimension unique to only her, and throw in anyone and anything into it, like some infinite bag - or rather, infinite stomach, as anything that remained inside the dimension was gradually… ‘consumed’. However, setting up her trap took time - time provided by the other two.

Yar - or Bonnie, as was her name, could grow out her hair and nails in the blink of an eye, filling an entire doorway with deep ebony curve in half a second. Unfortunately for her, she was only able to grow it instantly ; cutting was a different story. Being born as a Trofeo, she’d lived and been raised by resourceful people with a great understanding of abilities and hero work ; therefore, she’d learnt from a young age to cut her nails and hair almost as fast as she grew them. Her agility with scissors was terrifying at times. Melp’s ability was even more situational ; it required pre-planning and prior knowledge of what her mission and opponent would be, but when it was used to its full potential, was the core of the trio’s success. She could sew and craft ‘voodoo dolls’ (she used that term herself, because it was one people easily understood, but her ability had nothing to do with the occult or religion) of not only people, but even vehicles and buildings - though she rarely got an opportunity to do the latter. The one condition, past a good amount of detail and resemblance with the target, was to embroider into or paint onto the figure the name, license plate or adress - the birth name, specifically. Against villains whose civilian identity was known, she did splendidly ; the rest of the time, she was good as non-abilitied.

The three girls had earpieces, enabling them to not only communicate with one another, but with security. Therefore, they now had direct intel on the intruder’s whereabouts, and could trap them. That is, if Neville’s traps didn’t get in their way. For a fellow hero, he’d been nothing but a pain. While his water-spewing trap may have allowed his target to trip and fall into Pop’s pocket dimension, it had made her trip in turn, accidentally releasing the Enigma once more. His intervention was beneficial to him and him alone, getting in the way of the Government-Hired Heroes’ own ways of dealing with intruders and thus making everything that much more inefficient and slow, as Pop was now left to clean off all his traps with her dimensional vacuum if she was to try and capture Zelly uninterrupted. And though Yar and Melp tried to distract the intruder to buy her time, this just didn’t work out, and neither the plumber nor the trio could stop him from disappearing from camera surveillance entirely. The girls split up, running through the halls, to no avail.

No flying hero had proved available, either. Time to improvise and take what they could get. Melp had been hurriedly asked by security to quickly craft up some Neville doll, knowing she always carried around her materials and some quick bases to speed up her work. Alas, it was no use. As traditional authorities had been called in and started circling around the Plumber, he’d distracted them with cliché smoke dispensers and evaporated, someway, somehow.

Chapter 1 on Tapas / < previous // next >

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The Great, Unstoppable, Irreplaceable Alexander

Hero schools, supervillain drama and rogue super abilities ; The busy city life that Catherine, Junie, Felicio and Brett have no choice but to adapt to - all while getting involved with the unresolved case of the bomb-happy terrorist Alexander.

Read it on Tapas!

Or here, starting with Chapter 1.