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Hari Minggu, Gajian, Mendung, dan Solitude

jika semua unsur akhir pekan yang ideal menurutku dijadikan satu, niscaya hari ini adalah hari yang sempurna.

Bangun jam 8 dan masih bisa jalan pagi, ke pasar dan kaget dengan impulsivitas belanja (plus ga ingat nawar), kemudian saying good bye ke tetangga kamar yang pindah ke kosan lain. Semua selesai disaat masih jam 11, dengan langit mendung.

Tapi manusia yang satu ini memang tempatnya galau, dengan semua kesempurnaan yang hari ini ia dambakan, ada satu waktu dimana cuma terdiam di depan komputer jinjingnya, dan bertanya, sedikit menghakimi diri, "ini hidup mau gini-gini aja?".

Have you felt content?

In what moments do I feel most content?

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Paling seru memang nulis tentang kegalauan percintaan sebelum pernikahan ya.

Mungkin karena sering dicekoki dongeng yang ujungnya pernikahan, kisah mencari pelabuhan terkahir memang paling mendebarkan.

Terbawa ke dunia nyata, ketika sampai pada pernikahan, selesai sudah semua kisah. Tinggal menjalani realita.

Mau cerita yang bahagia, takut dikira jumawa. Cerita yang sedih, takut dikira pernikahannya kenapa-napa. Wkwkwk

Padahal, kangen juga. Kangen nulisnya wkwk.

Padahal ya tinggal nulis aja kan ya.

Hidupku lawak terus. Sedihnya pun lawak.

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“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”

— Maya Angelou

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Sail the ship, captain!

If I owe you my life, I would not hesitate to give you every breath you can take. If I owe you my blood, I will run everything you command. If I owe you my time, every ticktack will dedicated to thinking about you.

But I am not, or maybe you decided to set me free,

So I will sail my ship, jump into the ocean, far from you, far from the stars that illuminate your night, far from the pollutant that might iritates your lungs.

So just forget me, so my time, my brain, my lungs, will never ever notice your present. or maybe, all this time, I never existed to you

-04Sep, after watching Sanji leave Zeff to join Luffy's crew. aw . Dedicated to this blonde, tall, handsome, flamboyant Sanji

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Sweet little gazebo class

JHS always has an exceptional spot in my heart. I love how confused 13y.o me about the world, religion, and social groups.

I love how I am grumpy about people for being too strict, stiff, and religious, but mad at people who discredit their own religion, no offense, but a 12-14yo girl still has no clue and has a rebel in her life.

We just trying to figure out the world at that age with minim literacy and experience.

I miss that, I miss how the people around me seem not too in touch we capitalist stuff but still outstanding in their careers and life. The real work-life balance that we need these days.

Can we turn back the time? So at least I can calm down that 13yo kid and say: whoos whoos, enjoy your day kiddo, and stop grumpy!

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sampai dimana anda tadi?

good question reminds me every time I procrastinate

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if you are obsessed with someone, just stop.

stop assuming everything like you know the entire story, stop thinking that your actions will make they got interested in you, stop embarrassing yourself.

If you can't handle your obsession, Go seek therapy

I'm not interested in your stupid games, grow up! You old

and btw, it's disgusting to write anything that relates to you, ewh

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Human nature

how funny it is to be human, we never really forget people or ignore their existence,

Have you ever randomly remembered your old friend or someone you met by accident in the past, and suddenly years later you're checking their Instagram or LinkedIn, wondering what they've been going through since your last meeting?

Just checking in, smiling, or being blown away by their journey, and no action after that, just to make sure they're ok, and that's enough.

Human nature...

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You cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. This is your tragedy … because you understand them, and they do not understand you.

Daniel Saint

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1 jam sebelum 2 Januari 2023

masih belajar untuk mengeluarkan emosi; marah, kecewa, dan kesal.

kalau udah ditahap 'banget', emosinya sulit untuk terekspresikan dengan baik, malah meledak di dalam. Ga baik buat diri sendiri, tapi setidaknya ga bikin hubungan dengan orang berantakan.

well well well, haduhadu

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let me be the one who kisses you every night, in every goodbye and good night, while you drop me off at my Kosan

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hujan kalau semakin deras, semakin kencang, sesekali ada gemuruh rasanya menenangkan, ya?

bisa mengalahkan semua hal berkecamuk di dalam kepala, semua beban dan pikiran yang berisik yang saling bersahutan.

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“She woke up one day and decided to stop waiting for her life to begin and start making things happen instead.”

— Unknown

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oh, hi certified weeaboo!

Waktu kecil dulu, setiap kali nonton kartun di televisi--dan kelamaan, nyokap suka ganti channel ke berita, sembari bilang, "udah, jangan nonton kartun terus, nonton juga yang bermanfaat."

sedihnya, saat udah besar dan akses berita semakin gampang, berita yang nyokap selalu gembar-gemborkan 'bermanfaat', malah bikin capek, dan anxious, sekacau itu ya ternyata?

terbenar balik lagi nonton kartun emang.

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when hayao miyazaki said that true love was two people inspiring each other to live…recognizing just how hard living is, putting one foot in front of the other every day, how easy it is to lose our passion for it…… that’s the real shit

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There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

Edit- I added the visualizer for this piece on my YT, check it out here

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

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It feels illegal.

It feels illegal.

I'm writing this in the middle of office hours, where I need to hit my KPIs as my coworkers do. But, here I am. Back to my Tumblr.

You know, sometimes when you've been trying to prepare for your best day in the morning, but suddenly, there's no warning or signal, a slightly uncomfortable 'this' feeling comes along. Ruin your perfect morning.

Too bad, pity me.

Sometimes I think, what if Scientists made an on/off button to make us humans choose to appear or disappear for a moment. Like the on/off switch on a lamp, we humans really need it. More than just a plan to the moon.

We just want to go, as long as we can.