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I had fun with the Magnus Protocol poll and thought it would be fun to do another, this time featuring the maddening life of my favourite guy Jonathan Sims.

@galaxynajma I hope it’s okay to tag you in this one as well!

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EXPLANATIONS:

Magnificent Frigatebird

- Sea bird that eats fish and squid but can't swim; their feathers aren't waterproof and their legs are too short to paddle, but they do have webbed feet; they have a 7.5 ft wingspan (larger than a bald eagle) and the largest wing to body size ratio of any bird; can withstand near-hurricane force winds; have a bright red throat pouch that males inflate (inflation can take up to 20 min) during mating displays (they mate every other year); they steal regurgitated food from other birds by holding the other bird's tail in their (the fregata magnificens) beak or feet and shaking them (in mid-air!) until they throw it up; steals and eats eggs and chicks from other birds; their chicks stay in the nest for 167 days after hatching and are fed by their mothers until they are one year old

Hoatzin

- they eat exclusively plants, and they have the digestive system of a cow. they have specialized bacteria in the front part of the gut that break-down and ferment the foliar material they consume, which produces methane that they expel by burping. they smell like actual cow shit (sometimes called "stinkbirds"). the babies (which are SO fucked up looking btw) have claws on their wings they use to climb trees. the nests are built on branches hanging over water, so when the babies are threatened, they leap down into the water and then use their wing claws to climb back up into the nest. they're like dinosaurs.

- This bird, known as the Hoatzin, is very odd. It's babies have claws on its wings when they're little because it helps them climb. And the claws eventually disappear, but it's still very interesting. Another thing! It's sometimes called a stinkbird because the food they eat starts to ferment during digestion. This causes them to smell! Really bad! They're interesting birds.

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the most “cocomelon shit” i’ve ever experienced in my life was the time i was in calculus II and some girl in front of me was googling "assorted animals" and scrolling through pictures of clipart pigs and horses and shit on her laptop completely focused like it was her tax form

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obi wan in the hades art style

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Important notes 🐾

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There are good reasons even most OSR games don't use old-school "declare actions at start of round, then roll initiative with modifiers per action type" rules, but there's a certain je ne sais quoi that's only achieved when you don't know what order your actions are going to go off in until after the wizard says "I cast fireball".

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Imagine you’re some pod racing enthusiast watching the Boonta Eve Classic and some literal child enters with the shittiest scrap pod you’ve ever seen. He built it himself. He then proceeds to absolutely demolish every other professional racer. The kid never enters a race again but his legacy lives on in the hearts of the pod racing community.

About 10 years later, you tune into a news stream to catch some news about the Clone War. The announcer is talking about a particularly pivotal battle, saying something about “Jedi General Anakin Skywalker”

YOU MEAN THAT KID FROM THE BOONTA EVE CLASSIC???

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Cosy snek

(via)

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I was going to post a stupid pun involving the name of the band Imagine Dragons, but I literally just noticed that my rhyming dictionary lists "Italian" as a word that rhymes with "imagine", and it's completely displaced the original thought in my brain. Italian dragons.

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i think one of the main reasons the magnus archives has SUCH staying power is bc it gave the fans a way to classify the fears but allowed them to overlap in confusing enough ways that we could argue about it

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”This is Bob”

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am having a bad day. have a swr thing I made for a t-shit? 👁️👍

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@bb8mangoes

I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!

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Let's see what's been growing in the Yuri Jayvik Prompt Garden, shall we? 🌺🌸🌿🌷🌼 ✿ We are so excited to share the prompts with all you yurilings! Go wild with your interpretations and creativity for we all can't wait to see the wonderful creations to come out of this!

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lightsabers have one fatal flaw: you cannot use them to homoerotically tip up somebody’s chin during a sword fight. that would hurt very bad actually

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2007 eBird gem