godamn-clown-headcanons - Tumblr blog

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

One day I will post my full headcanons for Batman villains but in the meantime, have which states they're from in my universe:

Joker - Florida man (derogatory)

Two Face - Chicago, Illinois (ty @honeysgalaxy for this very real and true fact)

Riddler - New Jersey. Specifically Atlantic City

Poison Ivy - California

Harley Quinn - Brooklyn

Killer Croc - Tennessee

Scarecrow - Georgia (this is a canon fact)

Music Meister - Louisiana

Catwoman - Also from New Jersey

Mr. Freeze - Nevada (please get the vision with this)

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

I was at a thrift store the other day and saw this work of art and just can't get the image out of my head of one of the Lost Boys wearing this

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

hidden messages in electronic boards

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

By the power of my Riddler hyperfixation I speak into existence a concept! Wee babby Nashton days Edward, reading beat up copies of the Redwall books from his school library under his covers by the light of a flashlight.

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

Laddie: *waddling into the vampire sleeping cave just as the boys settle down to sleep* Mom I frew up :'(

Dwayne: You threw up??

Marko: Did he call you mom

Dwayne: >:(((

Paul: Don't disrespect mom like that dude

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

Genji: *out of recovery, standing across from Mccree in their now shared room* I don’t want to know you, or anything about you, I’m here to take revenge on the clan for what they did to me and for brainwashing my brother so don’t even fucking try to be my frie-??? Are you even listening to me?!

Mccree: *dumping out a box full of serapes and his most comfy flannels and hoodies* hmmm this one! *picks it up and suddenly corners the ninja sliding it onto him* There! Much better!

Genji: *nearly swallowed by the fabric, looking extra snug and smol* I- *flustered shy cyborg noises* I’m sorry…

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

NOT TO PROJECT ON A CARTOON CLOWN VILLAIN BUT..

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

I just want Joker who loves memes!!!!! 

😂😂

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

HARLEY QUINN (2019 - ) Finding Mr. Right

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

Batman: The Long Halloween, Part One (2021)

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

Batman / going sane.

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

I think about that one headcanon where Legolas is considered not great looking by elvish standards, like, all the time

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

Something unusual happens in the TOS episode Return of the Archons. Instead of using his signature nerve pinch, Spock punches a guard in the face. 

It’s so out of character that even Kirk comments on it.

Why does he do it? 

Here’s a theory.

In the episode, Bones gets mind-controlled (again) by the collective, and completely loses his individuality and personality. Even though Kirk has seen it happen to two other people already (Sulu and O’Neil), it’s easy to tell that he only really gets truly upset once Bones is “absorbed” - he’s trying everything he can think of to get Bones to snap out of it, including shaking him physically. 

Spock’s watching the whole time - seeing Kirk lose it a bit clearly affects him as well. 

As he’s being taken away, Kirk pleadingly asks Spock to try to “work on” Bones, and after a frustratingly bland conversation with the doctor, Spock tries what looks like a mind meld - he doesn’t like this version of Bones either.

Spock completely fails to break through to Bones. It’s hard to capture in a screenshot, but if you look carefully in the episode, you can actually see the muscle in Spock’s jaw twitch with frustration when he announces that there’s nothing he can do for Bones because the control is too powerful. He honestly thought he was going to be able to save him, and he’s pissed that he can’t.

When both Spock and Kirk are saved from mind control and continue to plot, we see the most uncharacteristic and disturbing reaction from Pod Person Bones yet - not just extreme placidity, but outright anger and murderous violence. Kirk has to put him in a sleeper hold to subdue him, not wanting to harm his friend, but even this pains him: “Doc, I don’t want to hurt you…Aw, Doc,” he says. 

(By the way, Kirk only calls Bones “Doc” when Bones is under the influence of mind control, to create psychological distance from himself. It’s a technique he uses in other contexts, too - in Operation: Annihilate!, he only starts calling Peter “my nephew” instead of “my brother’s son” when Peter is no longer in danger of dying.) 

Spock, again, is watching all of this and trying to rein in his feelings about the whole upsetting situation.

So when the very next thing they do is confront the guards who took each person away to be mind-controlled, instead of doing a nerve pinch, Spock just cold-cocks the guard with his fist. 

“Isn’t that somewhat old-fashioned?” Kirk says.

Spock just looks rather satisfied with himself.

Sometimes it’s logical to allow yourself a little violence on the person who upset your captain and took your doctor away. 

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

The first time he sees him, bouncing on the balls of his feet, fist clenched and hazel eyes burning with hatred

becomes the moment that someone with more self-preservation would’ve run, but Paul sees an invitation.

The smaller blonde man is currently straddling the waist of some skunk-haired surf nazi, bashing his fist against the dude’s ugly mug.

There’s specks of blood glistening on his cheek as he rages and Paul, lively, lover of danger, Paul can only think one thing

“Hot damn, I want some of that!”

So he sneaks off to buy two ice cream cones, so he can crack a joke about ‘chilling out’ and from there tracks down the little hell-raiser.

It’s easy to spot him, despite the summer crowd. His patchwork jacket looks like finger-paintings he used to make. And someone like Paul, who’s always had an abstract mind, attention flickering like Christmas lights finally finds something that holds all of his attention.

He’s close to an alleyway, standing further away from the groups of tourists and teens. Bent over, mmm nice booty, a dingy-looking cat is pressed against his leg, clearly as taken with the young man as Paul is. Looking at the melting cones, he quickly comes up with another plan, truly baffled by his genius. Sneaking over to a vendor, he snatches a burger from the stand and starts tearing the patty into smaller bits,

Focusing on the kitten as he approaches, he crouches down and offers the warm meal to the little furball. From the corner of his eye, he can see a gentle smile warm the blonde's face as the stray digs in. Purring loudly, she nearly climbs into Paul's hands trying to get closer.

They're both laughing at her eagerness, bright eyes glancing at each other, something clicking into place.

"Marko," the man grins, reaching out a hand.

"Ugh, Polo?" He gives Paul a chuckle biting his thumb.

"Oh, OH! that's your name. Right, I'm Paul. Nice to meet you!" Smooth man, real smooth. Luckily, Marko finds it charming, gripping his hand in greeting, fingers lingering in his palm for a few seconds. Paul finds he likes the contact, those dainty fingers are cool to the touch and fit perfectly in his.

They meet often on the boardwalk. Paul finds trinkets in between the off-and-on jobs he works ever since his father kicked him out. He collects odd buttons, fish hooks, and shells. Delicate and dangerous things that compliment the beloved jacket Marko never goes without. The look of delight that highlights his face each time, makes the hours of looking through trash and under the littered boardwalk worth it.

Marko teaches him how to paint his nails. The lime green color looks bitchin on him and together they steal a couple of different colors from the salon nearby. They try and convince Marko's brothers to let them do the same to them. Dwayne, ever so chill, let's Paul hook him up with some sparkly purple polish. David threatens to eat him if he tries though. Marko gets pretty pissed at that joke and makes him apologize. After a long talk while Paul goes to grab some take-out, he amazingly does. He even goes as far as to offer him some bud and a drink, which he readily accepts.

He notices there's something changing within him, but being with the boys makes the odd aches and pains not so noticeable. When Marko presents him with a daggered earring, a silver skull dangling with it, Paul can't help but grab him. The kiss is brief, but genuine as Marko pulls him in for another. It leaves his lips tingling for days afterward.

When he makes his first kill, fully transitioning into a vampire, his best friends are there beside him. Dwayne patting his shoulder, comforting him with the idea that they only go after assholes. David is blunt but well-meaning. He had already discussed with him his relationship with their curly-haired brother. He wanted Marko to be happy and Paul made him just that.

Surely, if given the choice, he would choose Marko?

He was right. He would. and he never could regret it.

The last time he sees him there’s screaming. Bright light from the front of the cave indicates it’s still daylight outside and there’s just agonized screaming. A couple of kids covered in blood that’s smells too familiar.

Marko lays a fallen heap on the ground, shrill cries quickly becoming gasps for breath.

And Paul, hopelessly in love, Paul is immediately by his side. Slashing his wrists as he cradles the tiny vampire in his arms and forces blood into his mouth.

“Shit! Shit! Marko, come on man. Feed!”

Those brilliant eyes are on him, burning him in ways the sun never could. He keeps pouring blood down his throat, desperate to make the jagged hole in his chest stop bleeding. The left half of Marko’s jacket is splattered with dark blood and bits of flesh.

Any other time he would’ve laughed knowing how pissed Marko be that his precious jacket got a bit stained. But there’s no laughing now.

Paul doesn’t think he’ll ever laugh again.

Marko’s still bleeding, gripping onto his best friend for dear life. Because he needs Paul to be the last thing he sees in the fiery pain consuming him.

Somewhere in the distance, he can hear David yelling, Dwayne tossing bits of furniture about, looking for something.

The bottle. Max’s blood would be strong enough to fix this. It’s all they can do. It has to work.

They don’t have time to find someone; they couldn’t leave until night. Marko doesn’t have that kind of time.

Paul looks away to tell Dwayne, but his eyes find him staring silently at something in his hand. Shattered glass twinkles between his fingers.

Oh god, please. No.

“Someone broke it.” Michael

Dwayne’s voice rumbles in his mind like a thunderstorm.

Like rain bursting through a cloud, he starts breaking. There’s no violence visible as he walks towards his dying brother. Dropping to his knees, he rips open his neck with a clawed finger, motioning Paul to pass their smallest member over.

You can barely hear Marko lapping at the wound. His hand, still clutched within Paul’s is colder than it should be.

"We.. we were supposed to live forever. You and me." His voice is quiet, blood dribbling down his chin. Hazel eyes are fading into glass and Paul can feel his world ending at the sight.

"C'mon Babe, you're gonna be okay. I've got you just please don't talk like that. We still have time."

"Paul, it hurts." Oh fuck, it's getting hard to stay calm. He feels like screaming, ripping his hair out, pulling those brats apart, anything to make this Stop.

" I know. I know, but it's gonna be okay. Please just.."

There's something warm dripping down his face. His eyes sting like he's standing near bonfire smoke. Is he crying? He didn't realize vampires could cry.

He didn't think vampires could die.

Dwayne rubs his hands through Marko's curls, as David drenches his coat across him like a blanket. It swallows him, making him look fragile. They're all sitting in a puddle of drying blood. It's seeping through the legs of his pants, staining them an angry red.

Everything he is has been stained by Marko, painting him into a shade that doesn't know to exist without its canvas. But his love, his canvas, is Dying. Torn to pieces in front of him and he doesn't know what to do. He cups his hand along Marko's jaw, his skin is graying, eyes losing all the stars within them.

"You still have me. Forever Babe." His thumb brushed across his lips one last time and Marko smiles gently like the first time they met.

They watch as his eyes go dark. His brothers remain silent, but Paul can only scream.

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

Chirrut please!!!!

How I feel about this character

He is a bitch and I love him so much (also an all-time fave character)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Baze Malbus who is my darling dear and the best sw character ever, only quality husbands for chirrut

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Kaya and Killi from gotw i suppose?

My unpopular opinion about this character

don’t know how unpopular these are so here are just some opinions: he is a troll and we must not forget this. sexy bitch and he knows it, also he is super devoted to his husband and his husband’s wellbeing. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i wish he would have kissed his husband on the lips on the big screen. 

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

Day 15 - Chirrut Imwe (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story)

I am one with the Force, the Force is with me.

[godamn-clown-headcanons]

HUSBANDS