goose1229

[goose1229]

It’s just one day.

So I am having an off day. It’s been almost two years since my last post on this blog, so there is so much that has happened. I have a boyfriend now, who I love so much, and I have finally found some direction in my life to become a physical therapist and am currently in my first year of a doctorate PT program. Anyway, today I am just feeling down with some confusion in my relationship and things I want to talk about, as well as not feeling that great physically, so I don’t have much motivation to do anything today, but I have been lazy all morning, so I would like to have today be somewhat productive. Anyway, what I am getting at is that sometimes we have off, or “no bones days” as the late Noodle the pug is famous for, but it is just one day. And you have to take care of yourself first and foremost, but it is okay to feel like you need to be productive too, that is also taking care of yourself and your mental well-being. What I am saying is, just do what feels right in the moment and that will make you feel the best. For me in this moment, it was getting these feelings out and trying to motivate myself for the day. Now, I shall start some laundry and get my day started; after all, it is just one day, so why not try to make the best of it if I can. But I could just as easily treat myself and stay in bed all day, but that’s not what will make me feel better. So have a great day! And take things one day at a time!

[goose1229]

One Thing at a Time

So, I have been going through a tough time lately. I have been feeling like I am in a rut. I have been feeling depressed, especially about the guy I mentioned in my last post. I just wish I could meet him in person, but we have spoken on the phone. And we actually had a really great conversation. And then I really dug deep with my therapist the next week, and I started to realize what has been going on with me. I have been putting off doing so many things because they seem so daunting, but my dad and therapist have both given me advice to do one thing a day that is productive, in order for it to add up and become less of a daunting task. I honestly don't know what else to say at the moment, but I just wanted to mention that sometimes, you just have to take it one thing at a time, one day at a time.

[goose1229]

One Day at a Time

Once again, it has been a while since I posted here. And no one reads this blog, but it actually very therapeutic for me to type things out here sometimes and take a break from my normal journal, especially when the things I want to talk about have something to do with “one day”. So here goes...

I have been talking to this guy online for two months now and he has only been on one date in his life and is very nervous to meet and is not ready yet. I can tell he likes me because we talk every day, but I have been having a hard time telling him what I am really thinking and feeling for fear of pushing him away. I really like him and think that there could be something between us, but I am afraid to push things if he is not ready. I don’t want to lose him. 

And I don’t know if I am just that desperate or if there is really potential for us? It is hard to tell when we haven’t met yet. I spoke to my aunt about it since she always thinks of things very logically and objectively and gives great advice. She told me that maybe I shouldn’t rush it and try to meet him on his level. Which I am willing to do, but I don’t want things to go stagnant. I was to still move forward with him, but at his pace. But I am having a hard time telling him that because our conversations are always so light and we only talk over Snapchat now. I miss the conversations we used to have on the dating app, even if they were really light then too and I wasn’t even that attracted to him then. 

I honestly don’t feel like writing about this anymore at the moment because I am too sad and tired and have to be up early for a therapy phone session and my first day at my new job. So, I will just say this...I need to take things with this guy one day at a time.

[goose1229]

One day, I won’t be on the outside...

One day, I won’t be on the outside.

One day, I won’t feel excluded.

One day, I won’t be a fifth wheel.

One day, I won’t be alone.

With my thoughts.

In my life.

One day, I’ll be on the inside.

One day, I’ll feel included.

One day, I will make others the fifth wheel.

One day, I’ll be with someone.

Perhaps the one.

The one I’m supposed to.

One day, I feel like I’m enough.

One day, I’ll feel comfortable.

One day, I’ll feel accepted.

One day, I’ll feel loved.

By the one.

With the one.

One day, I’ll be happy.

One day, I’ll find love.

One day, I’ll start a life.

One day, I’ll start a family.

With my best friend.

With my lover.

[goose1229]

The one that got away: I can’t stop thinking about him, one day I’ll actually be over him

So this is actually someone new, but someone old. He is not the one I met online that I have been hung up on. He is actually the guy I fell in love with in college. We were in the same program and did an internship together and I got to know him pretty well over those six months. And I fell madly in love. Actually, I knew from the minute that he walked into the lab on the first day that I was doomed to fall for him. We had a great six months during our internship with our third partner and friend. We even did some things outside of the lab. When our friend transferred schools and we were the only two left on our last day, I told him how I felt, and he knew already. He was so gracious and let me down very easily and even hugged me goodbye after and texted me later that day. I had never been so sad before in my life, but I was never angry with him. He was so nice and never made things weird between us, that I could never get mad at him. And that’s probably why I fell right back into it when we had a class together senior year two years later and we were about to graduate. 

Over the past four years after graduation, I have not given him too much thought because I have liked a few other guys since then and tried online dating as you all know. I even saw that he had been dating someone and it didn’t bother me (too much lol). But recently, I have been thinking about him a lot. Thinking of him as the one that got away. And it sucks. I even dreamed about him last night, in which we were in a relationship. WTF is wrong with me?! I haven’t seen him in four years and spoken to him in over a year!!!

[goose1229]

One day this will all be over...

At the risk of receiving comments and possibly backlash from family and friends on facebook, I have decided to write this here. Where I can speak my truth and not feel judged or on the spot among people I actually know. 

Anyway, in this crazy time when the world is dealing with a pandemic that feels like it’s getting closer and closer to home every day, I am the least depressed I have been since I was a child. Besides a little stress and anxiety with still having to work in this crisis and risk my health and the health of others every day, I am actually in a great place mentally. 

For the first time in several years, I feel that I am in the job I am supposed to be at this time. Even though I am 27 years old and work in a retail job. I am learning my value in society at this time of crisis. I work at PetSmart, which many may not think of as “essential”, but with grocery stores not being able to focus on pet foods, we are still open to help feed people’s furry, feathered and scaly little friends. I am actually very proud to be a part of the team that I am. We are all working so hard to keep each other safe, as well as keeping pets and pet parents safe and happy. It is a treat (pun intended) to still have a full time job and help the world get through a time like this. 

Besides work sometimes getting hectic and stressful, I do not take it home most of the time. My stress stays at work, which is an incredible feeling. Other than work, I am quarantined with my father and brother, which I wouldn’t have any other way. I am so grateful that I still live at home in my late twenties. I appreciate not being stressed about finances at a time like this, which would likely be an issue if I lived on my own. My dad is also so gracious to do most of the grocery shopping and cooking. I am one lucky girl. I wish I showed him more appreciation sometimes. I try my best, but I still feel like I am mooching a bit. 

Anyway, being quarantined to me is a blessing in disguise, except for the fact that I can’t go to the movies and concerts (my favorite things to do). It is a blessing because, to be honest, a lot of my anxiety and depression stems from interactions and obligations to my extended family. (I just realized there is no way I could have posted this for people I know after rereading this.) One side of my family are very dramatic and pick fights with one another constantly, whereas the other is just very judgmental and toxic. The toxic side is especially detrimental to my mental health, especially because they host more family functions on a regular basis. The other side just mostly keeps to themselves except for big events, and despite our issues, I still connect with them. Honestly, I am happy not to be seeing my family for Easter and possibly Memorial Day. I know, that is really sad. But in the last few years, I tend to have panic attacks and severe anxiety whenever I have to see those people. It is nice that the holiday obligations that I would normally have are not able to be held at this time. It’s kind of fucking great. There are a select few people I miss, but I’m trying to connect with them in other ways, and they are the ones that tend to stay away from the functions because they are over the bullshit too.

Speaking of connections, I have finally detached myself emotionally from a guy I was talking to online that stood me up a few times. I have actually deleted my account and the app after a few other guys ghosted me in the last few months. Getting so emotionally caught up on a guy at the end of last year left me pretty depressed in the beginning of this year since I saw so much potential in our impending relationship. It was a huge letdown when he stood me up and never wanted to reschedule a third time and then ignored me after I tried to reach out again. I am 27 as I mentioned before, and I have never had a boyfriend, sex or even a real first kiss (the one I had was a dare and traumatizing, so I don’t count it). Until this quarantine started, I was depressed that I would never meet someone to kiss, date, or fuck lol. 

But now that I have deleted my dating app and profile and have been forced to only go to work and home, I am feeling more content with myself. Although I still want to lose weight at some point, meet someone someday, and not work at PetSmart for the rest of my life, I am grateful for what I do have at this time in my life. I have a steady full time job, to which I got promoted a few months ago with a raise and benefits. I still have the financial luxury of living at home. I am quarantined with my two favorite people on this planet, even if they piss me off sometimes. I am away from all the people that make me anxious and depressed. I am comfortable being by myself and finding things to do with my time alone. I have several pets that I love dearly and still have the means to feed and care for at this time. I get to be my authentic self right now and stay home, listen to my music, play with my pets, watch my shows and movies, and bake my favorite treats.

I have also discovered my new favorite show (thanks to the last guy that ghosted me haha). Although I do not have someone special in my life, I am living vicariously through David Rose and Patrick Brewer on Schitt’s Creek. Their love story is amazing and inspiring, and they make me so happy to watch, over and over again. I also love the show because it is about a rich, then not so, family that is stuck in a small town they own as a joke, only to connect more to one another and the people in the town, that they used to look down upon. It is also a great atmosphere that the show creates. This small town in a rural area is a very accepting and open-minded community to the point that they embrace David and Patrick’s relationship, no questions asked. They even have a black, lesbian woman on their town council. It is such a progressive show when dealing with issues of sexuality, gender identity, race, social status, religion, relationships, and family connection. Despite being stuck up rich people that only cared about their individual selves, the Roses have all grown to know and love each other and their neighbors more deeply. It is such a great show that is unfortunately coming to an end in three days, but I am grateful to have been introduced to it just in time to watch the finale special and at a time when I can dedicate as much time to it as I want. 

Speaking of how my time is being spent in this quarantine, I am also grateful to have dropped out of graduate school after last semester and not be trying to figure myself out right now. Again, I am grateful to have a full time job that came at the perfect time. I am happy with myself and my place in the world right now. I may not be in love or be as thin as I would like, but I am pretty good with my current situation. I am content. I don’t think I have felt this content in my entire life. Even when I was a child because I was bratty kid, then my parents had a messy divorce, then my stepdad was a dick, then my mom had a drug problem, then I was isolated in high school, then I fell in love with a friend and had my heart broken in college, and finally I have felt lost in my adult life post-college. But now I am found. I know who I am, what I like, who loves me, what I need, and what I want. I am happy. 

Another reason I wanted to put this here and not on facebook was because this blog is meant to be inspiring. I wanted to celebrate my happiness and not rub it in the faces of those that are struggling through this time right now. I know that many people who are stuck at home with anxiety and depression, family and homeschooling responsibilities, sickness, and financial burdens are really hurting right now. I am one of the lucky people not in the medical field that gets to still go to work and to be living most of my normal life and be lucky enough to basically still be taken care of by my father. I feel for everyone struggling right now and have been doing my part to donate scrubs and money to relief funds. I really hope this all ends very soon and that as many people as possible are safe and healthy and make it through these trying times alright. I just wanted to celebrate the fact that I am thriving in the coronapocalypse a little bit.

P.S. I am also grateful to have a boss that is so awesome to the point that he sends me gifs haha.

[goose1229]

One day maybe I won’t think about you...

Okay, so it’s been a long while since I have last posted. Until about a month ago, I was super busy with school and work. But I was talking to someone online that made even my most stressful days tolerable and worthwhile. And I think because of what he was for me in that time is why I fell so hard for him so fast, and why I cannot seem to forget about him now. 

We met on an online dating app, and he asked me out after not even a week! As a woman in her twenties that has never been on a real date, you can imagine how excited I was about this upcoming date. But it never happened. He canceled last minute because he was sick, and I had to text him to make sure we were still going, which obviously we were not. 

Then as we continued to text that night, I made it a point to reschedule for the following weekend. Then, after texting him the day before our rescheduled date and him supposedly trying to text me to cancel again because he got called into work, I tried a few days later to reschedule a third time. To no avail. He said that he had to work the next few weekends and would be very busy with very limited free time for the next two months. So, naturally I was pissed. So I said, “Well that sucks.” And he said, “Yeah I know I’m sorry.” And then I didn’t text him for a week and a half because I wanted to spend the rest of the holidays (and my birthday) trying not to think about him.

But that obviously didn’t work. I thought about him every day, and still do. About two weeks ago, I decided to text him again to get the conversation going again and to apologize for not texting him for a while. Four days went by, and I still did not get a response. Since we had connection issues in the past, I tried again, asking if he got my text and telling him that I was thinking about him and missed talking to him. That was almost two weeks ago, and I still have not received an answer.

He did say that he was very busy, so that could be why he has not responded to me. And the only reason that I have been choosing to believe this is because he would always respond to me in the past, even if it wasn’t right away or if there was some tension with the stand-ups. But I can’t help but feel that I have been blown off, even though I really want to hold out hope that he’ll contact me when he has the time. Why am I so blindly accepting his word and waiting for him?

I really do not know. Every sign is telling my brain that he is no longer interested in me. But my heart is telling me that I am not done with him yet. I can’t help but think about him every day, some days more than most. I even still cry over him and the hopes I had. I cry about the missed opportunity. Something felt right about him. And it still does. If he really IS that busy, I admire him for putting his work and priorities above someone he has not even met in person yet. 

Of course, I cannot say the same for me. I have been putting my priorities to myself aside for someone I have not even met in person, let alone heard the voice of. Yes, I still go to work and take care of my pets and bills. But I am definitely not taking great care of myself physically and mentally. And some days, I walk around like I am okay, when I really am not. Those closest to me do not even know that I have texted him again after he told me he would be busy for two months. I am lying to them. And I feel like I am lying to myself.

I am telling myself that maybe he will contact me at the end of February when he said he will have more time. I am telling myself that he is probably still into me but just cannot be focused on me right now. When in reality, he more than likely has blown me off and completely forgotten about me. And the pathetic thing about that is that I cannot bring myself to believe it. I still hope he texts me. Every day. I still think about him every day, some less than others, but still. Today, I went several hours into the day before thinking about him, which is probably the longest I have gone since I started talking to him. 

I hate that I am keeping myself vulnerable to getting hurt even more by this guy, but I cannot help it. I still hope that we could be together some day. I have not even been able to invest too much into my conversations with a new guy on the app. I don’t feel like I am connecting with him the same way I did to the first one. Yes, we have some things in common, but I feel intimidated by his experiences and sophistication. I never felt intimidated by the other, except maybe by how he might feel less about me than I do about him. 

Honestly, I am just trying to distract myself with this new guy, which has actually helped a little, especially to not let me get too attached to him. Because I’m still attached to the first one. How messed up is that? I actually feel pretty bad about it. I feel like sometimes I am using him and leading him on. But he hasn’t asked me out, so I feel like it’s okay for now. I might have to be honest with him if things progress further. For now, I’m trying to focus on anything but the other guy. I hate that I can’t stop thinking about him. I really wish I could.

I think I just need closure. So I think at some point I am going to text him to tell me if he is still interested or not. And to let me know either way so that I can get my answer and move on. I think that’s the thing. I don’t know what’s going on with him because I have not had any answers, so I just don’t know where I stand or if I did something wrong. It really sucks being in this limbo. I think I just have to be patient. I have waited this long to meet someone, so what is one more month? 

I wish he would just answer. I just need to know what is going on. If he is still interested but just that busy, I can wait. I just need to know if he is still interested. How pathetic do I sound right now? Very, I’m sure. I guess that’s what happens when you have no dating experience and you wear your heart on your sleeve. I hate being this vulnerable and possibly naive. I hate that I overthink and over-care. It sucks being such an emotional person. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I would rather feel everything that I do than feel nothing at all.

I just wish I could stop overthinking. Overthinking about this guy. Overthinking about the situation. Overthinking about my love life. Overthinking about my future. Overthinking every little thing I do. Overthinking everything. And I hope ONE DAY MAYBE I DON’T THINK ABOUT YOU...

[goose1229]

Day One. Just Start.

So, it has been awhile again since I have posted. I have been busy working and starting a new online class for the summer. This online class is actually what is inspiring this post. I was so anxious this afternoon because I was (and still am) behind in my reading. However, I am up to date on my actual assignments. I have honestly been procrastinating a little. Okay, maybe a lot. 

Anyway, I realized that once I started actually doing the work and not stressing over how much there was, everything seemed more possible to get done on time. Now, I am done my discussion posts for this week and just have to work on the new ones and the new readings. Even though there is a lot left to do, I feel much better about actually getting it all done because I actually started and got some things done. 

Starting something is always the hardest part for me. Once I get started, I find that my stress and anxiety decrease and I have more confidence and motivation to get something done. I need to remind myself of that when I procrastinate. The only thing I get from procrastinating is pissed off at myself, which lowers my self-esteem, confidence and motivation and increases my anxiety and stress levels. If I just take a breath and start, I get into a momentum and get shit done. Pardon my french. But I do. I GET SHIT DONE. As long as I just get started. 

I saw this quote my Stephen King: “The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.”

AND THEY DID. This afternoon I was getting very stressed and irritable, but once I started my posts for my online class, I gained some momentum and got everything done that I needed to at this time. I was so flipped out earlier, I did not expect that I would be feeling this relieved right now and ready to face the rest of my assignments. I was so overwhelmed. I just need to get out of my head and into my life. Sometimes you have to stop waiting for one day and just create a day one. Just start. 

Although this blog is all about one days, it is also about day ones and that each day is only one day, or that one day can make a huge impact. It is about all the ways that we can interpret our days and our lives. And more importantly, it is about how we should see the positive parts in every day and not focus on that one negative moment or that one negative day and move on with the rest of our days. 

[goose1229]

One day. One moment.

So sorry it has been a while since I last posted.

Anyway, sometimes you experience one day, one moment that changes your whole way of thinking. It changes how you think about yourself and what you want out of your life. It changes how you feel about yourself and others. One moment can change everything.

I just realized I am being overly dramatic and seemingly building up to some profound statement when all I am really building up to is this brief conversation I had with a cute cashier at my local ACME store. 

It was Saturday, the day before Mother’s Day. I had already gone to Walmart and Kmart looking for hanging plants as a gift for my grandmother, when I finally found some at ACME. But they didn’t have a bar code on them and I was in the express lane. This poor guy had to leave the register and search for some way to ring me up. After apologizing profusely to him and the other customers in line, this one customer kept making rude comments about me and the cashier and the issue taking so long, even though it only took a couple of minutes. 

Anyway, once the cashier returned, the customer continued to say things, while another customer and the cashier were reassuring me that I was okay and it wasn’t my fault. Despite their reassurance, I was going into panic mode and started to get upset. I think the cashier could tell because all of a sudden, he asked me if I had ever taken psychology and said that he didn’t know why he said it, that it had just popped in his head. Then the rude customer said something like, “Who cares?” and was insinuating that he was making too much conversation with me. 

In that moment, I felt the rush to get away from the customer when I really wanted to stay and talk to the cashier. He kept apologizing to me and I kept apologizing to him, and he kept reassuring me that it was not my fault. Once out at my car, I decided to go back inside and tell the cashier that it had nothing to do with him or my issue with the plant bar code, but that the woman two behind me in line was driving me crazy and making me anxious and upset. I did go inside, but she was still in his line when I walked in. So I never went back up to him. I regret it now. I really wanted to thank him for being so nice to me. 

I don’t know if he was just distracting me or was trying to start a conversation with me, but I can’t stop thinking about his question about me ever taking psychology. I told him “No” to end the conversation and get me out of there, but I HAVE taken a few psychology courses. I can’t stop thinking about what he might have said had, I said “Yes”. 

I can’t stop thinking about him in general. I was even in that ACME this afternoon and briefly looked around for him. I really want to tell him that I appreciated his kindness. It felt like more than just a friendly encounter with a cashier. He seemed to be paying me a lot of attention. And as an overweight, single, 26-year-old woman, I don’t get a lot of attention, so the fact that a cute guy was trying to make me feel better made my day. And I can’t stop thinking about him. I know I already said that, but it’s true. 

Now, I can’t help but wonder what might have happened if I had gone back up to him that day, or even if I still do the next time I see him there. I have to admit that I am a hopeless romantic who fantasizes about guys she likes all the time and gets her hopes up way too high, only to break her own heart. So, here we go again. You already heard about the guy I really like right now, and this guy I’m talking about today is someone I interacted with all of five minutes, if that. I am doomed to be a creep who romanticizes all of her interactions with guys and ends up alone surrounded by no one but her pets. Not that I don’t love my little babies, but I need more. I want more. I deserve more. One day. Maybe not today. Maybe not with my crush, maybe not with the cashier. Maybe not the guy after that. It may take a long time. But that is the beauty of it, isn’t it? The journey. One day at a time. One moment at a time. Because that is really all we can do, is take it one step at a time. 

[goose1229]

This is the poem I wrote almost three years ago when I was sitting in a park I used to go to as a kid. I was sitting by the river and reading when I noticed a Canadian goose just floating all by itself. I never saw any other geese come the entire time I watched this one goose. He, or she, just waded on the water for a while all alone. It was refreshing and depressing all at the same time. The poor thing was all alone like I felt, but the thought of wishing I were any animal with a much simpler life intrigued me. It was in that moment that I became inspired to write the poem above. A poem I have not shared with anyone else. A poem that was always just for me. Until now. So, if you are wondering what the goose picture and my username were all about, this is it. One day, three years ago, a lone goose inspired me to write one of the only poems I have ever written.

Right now, I am pondering going back to that park to sit and read because it is a beautiful day, and I have not been reading much lately. I’ve been thinking about this poem a lot since I decided to start this blog. I have been thinking about how much I had always wanted to have no responsibilities and fly away for a while and get away from my hectic life. But that has always been unrealistic, as I can’t really afford much right now, let alone traveling. But reading is a form of getting away from reality, and I have really been missing it lately.

I honestly had seen this post today by the guy I’ve had a crush on for about two years now in which he talked about catching up on reading and sitting outside with a book sounding like a good idea. I think he had a great idea, and not just because I have a crush on him. But because I am really craving reading outside right now and doing something I truly enjoy. Because, like him, it’s been a crazy few weeks of school and work kicking my ass. So, I want to do something that makes me happy. Not that other aspects of my life don’t make me happy, but I just need a little break from reality.

Taking a break from reality is really something that everyone should do from time to time. It really helps relieve stress, anxiety, and any other emotions one is feeling as life drains us and wears us out. Taking a breather, taking a break, getting away. It helps. Whether it’s taking a walk or a drive, going to see a movie or watching one at home, binge-watching some Netflix or watching The Office for the umteenth time, reading a book in a park by a river with a lone goose. Getting away from our lives helps us get a different perspective and really appreciate everything we have in our lives, even when we get so bogged down that we feel like we are missing things from our lives.

One of the biggest things missing from my life is love. I have family and friends that I know love me (and even some that seem like they don’t—it’s complicated), but I have never been in love WITH someone. I have loved a guy before, but that was the unrequited love I was talking about in the poem. I have had many crushes, one of which I know I loved, but no one has ever loved, or even liked, me back. I am 26 years old and have never had a boyfriend, not for lack of trying though. I have actually been brave enough to tell a few of those guys how I felt. This one is the hardest one. I’m not entirely sure why. 

For some reason, I can’t tell him how I feel. I think there are many reasons. He is very busy right now, and I don’t want to burden him. I am very busy and probably don’t actually have time for a relationship right now. He sometimes seems like he may feel the same way but then other times doesn’t. Sometimes I fear that I just like him because he’s there and convenient because we haven’t really had a chance to really get to know each other. Then sometimes with his posts and the things we talk about, I feel like we have so much in common and would be good together. But yet, I don’t make an effort with him except to ask him to hang out every couple months only for him to tell me he is too busy. I feel pathetic just saying that. It really seems like he doesn’t like me back, but I still hold on to the idea of him. Why?

Because he always surprises me with the things I learn about him. We are so much alike and WOULD probably be good together. Which brings me to another reason why I can’t seem to let him go: our mutual friend said to me, without knowing my feelings beforehand, that I should go out with this guy. She somehow brought it up without me ever mentioning to her that I liked him before that. I admitted to her then that I actually did like him. When I asked her later why she said that, she said that she thought we would be good together. That was almost a year ago. And here I am, still pining over this guy. Because I could really see it happening one day and can’t seem to let it go. He seems like my one day, and today is not that day. 

As upsetting as that is and no matter how many tears I shed, I still can’t give up hope. I am letting myself feel this surge of loneliness right now, but I refuse to let it consume me, as thinking about him nonstop has in the past. He may be my one day, or he may not. But I am allowed to have one day to feel sad that he is not mine today. But this is just one day. Tomorrow, I will be back at work after my day off and be busy once again. But today, I just had to feel this. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings, but don’t let them consume you and your life. Feel the feelings and let them pass. Get busy. Go read a book. Write a poem. Take a drive. Do something you enjoy. Get out into your life and live it! 

[goose1229]

ONE DAY: an intro.

So, I had written this post on facebook on Monday after looking at the first photo below. I had a great first draft that I had mistakenly swiped away, but that gave me the opportunity to really contemplate what I wanted to say, and the second draft (with some typos, I just now realized) took a different turn. I started talking about how not everything you need to do or want in life can happen in ONE DAY. And then I started thinking about bad days and how they are only ONE DAY.

Before the last few weeks, I had been harping on my bad days and letting them turn into weeks and just get me so down that I had an emotional breakdown after work one day, in which I didn’t get out of bed and cried all night. Even though I had pulled myself out of it planning to call my mom, just the act of sitting up and taking some deep breaths got me out of it. In the next week after that, I had gotten drunk at my cousin’s fiance’s birthday party and vented to my cousin, then my dad when he picked me up. The next day I talked to my mom about my situation some more. 

It was that weekend that I realized that I need to stop worrying about everything I want out of life that I don’t have right now and focus on the present, knowing that if I work hard and stay focused, I will have the things I want ONE DAY.

Then I saw the post in the first photo below, and I was inspired to write the post in the following photos. Then after posting it, I became more inspired and decided to start this blog. I want to help people and tell my story. I am nowhere near healed and I’m not going through anything severely traumatic, but that doesn’t mean that my strategies can’t help someone. 

This blog is really intended to share some tips I find along my journey, talk about things that can help us all take better care of ourselves, and to discover more things that can help me toward worrying less and breathing more. I plan to share any ideas that come to mind, my thoughts, my stories, my tips, my music preferences. I just want to share a little of me with the world to help them like my family and friends have helped me, but in a fun, creative way!

So, welcome to the ONE DAY blog where we take things one day at a time to work toward our one days: our dreams, our desires, our goals, our lives.