gotosleep-rewrite
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Hey! I’m North (@moni-kin) and I’m rewriting the original Jeff the Killer Creepypasta. If you’ve got any questions and/or suggestions, this is the place.My speaking tag is “#authors note”
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Jeff The Killer (Rewrite)
Part 1
Putting it under a cut for my fellow mobile users
Keep reading
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Jeff the Killer Moodboard
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(Jeff||Liu)
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Jeff The Killer (Rewrite)
Part 1
Putting it under a cut for my fellow mobile users
Keep reading
13 notes
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View notes
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Jeff The Killer (Rewrite)
Part 1
Putting it under a cut for my fellow mobile users
Keep reading
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View notes
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Jeff The Killer (Rewrite)
Part 1
Putting it under a cut for my fellow mobile users
Jeff grunted as he picked up the last box from the back of the van, struggling a minute before adjusting his grip and carrying it towards the house. He was just moving the box to his hip to open the door when a bright “Hello!” startled him into dropping the box.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Jeff turned around, forcing a smile onto his face. “It’s fine. What do you need.” He picked up the box, turning it a bit to check for damages. His mother appeared in the doorway behind him, opening the door so he could bring the box inside and stepping out herself. Jeff set the box down before turning around to catch the conversation.
“I’m Barbara. We live across the street from you and wanted to introduce myself to you!” The woman, Barbra, turned around to yell at some kids. “Randy! Billy! Come introduce yourselves.” The younger of the two came running across the street, attaching himself to his mother's side. The older kid just went inside the house, slamming the door behind him. The kid stared at Jeff for a moment before saying, “M’names Billy.” He continued to stare until his mother shooed him away.
Jeff assumed his mother smiled as she spoke. “Well, I’m Margaret and this is Jeff,” Jeff held up a peace sign at his name, waiting for a good time to slip away. “Liu, my other son, and my husband Peter are somewhere inside.” She sent a searching glance into the house, probably looking to drag someone else into the conversation. Jeff took this opportunity to slip away, waiting for the conversation to resume before darting up the stairs. He went to go unpack his stuff, but his father ushered him out of the room so he could assemble Jeff’s bed.
Liu invited him into his own room with a wave, closing the door behind them. Jeff sat on the bed, Liu going back to unpacking his room. Jeff opened up his phone, ignoring his messages in favour of mindlessly scrolling through it. They stayed like that for a few hours before Liu kicked him out so he could sleep off the move. Jeff begrudgingly got up and crept to his room. He could hear adults talking downstairs and assumed that his mother had invited Barbara inside. Jeff left his door open a crack and laid on his bed, too unmotivated to unpack anything but his bedding, which he had to search for.
As he laid down, Jeff felt a sharp pain in his chest. It disappeared after a moment, but it stayed in his mind for longer than he felt was necessary. After a while, he was almost asleep when his mother called him down to grab some more of his stuff. Jeff didn’t respond or move the first or second time she called, only after his dad screamed up the stairs for him. He did his best ‘just woke up face’ and zombie walked down the stairs, rubbing his eyes as he greeted his family.
“Sorry, did I wake you? Anyways, you’ve got a lot of clothes down here. Help me carry them up.” He wasn’t really sorry, he never was. Jeff stifled a sigh and grabbed a half open box, lugging it up the stairs, his father following suit. He dropped the box next to his bed, just wanting to sleep, the memory of the pain still lingering. The other box was dropped just behind him, causing him to jump a bit. “Well, I’ll let you sleep. Get up early tomorrow, you gotta unpack your school stuff.” The door shut behind him with a soft click.
Jeff woke up to people walking around outside his door. He groggily grabbed his phone, nearly blinding himself as he checked the time. 5:24 am. He groaned, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep and stood up, stumbling over to the light switch. He cursed when he hit his shin on one of the boxes, hopping the rest of the way and angrily flipping the switch, covering his eyes as light flooded his room. He blinked for a second, adjusting, before making his way to a box he really hoped had clothing in it. He grabbed a few random clothes, holding them up to each other to make sure they matched, then trudged to the bathroom to change and wake himself up.
Once he had changed, Jeff splashed some cold water onto his face, but it didn’t help as much as he hoped. Sighing, he ran a brush through his hair before making his way down stairs. He waved hi to Liu, who was about as excited as he was to be awake at dark o’clock in the morning. Jeff sat down at the counter as Liu pushed the cereal box and a bowl towards him, standing up to put his own bowl in the sink. Jeff made to pour the cereal, but jolted as the pain in his chest returned, causing a bit of cereal to spill onto the counter. Liu turned to look at him quizzically, but Jeff shrugged it off with a sarcastic “Oops, there go my loops.” Liu laughed before disappearing up the stairs to unpack his school stuff. Jeff scooped the cereal into his hand and poured it back into the bowl before continuing to make his breakfast.
After placing his bowl next to Liu’s, Jeff went up to his room, half-heartedly searching the boxes for his backpack and supplies. Eventually, he found the box containing them and emptied it onto the floor, sifting through the supplies and dumping them into his backpack haphazardly. Afterwards, he sat on his bed, charging his phone while he scrolled through it.
Eventually, Liu knocked on his door and Jeff jumped off the bed, pocketing his phone and grabbing his bag. He followed Liu down the stairs, grabbing the money his mother left on the counter for lunch. They didn’t talk on the way to the bus stop, Jeff putting headphones in and Liu texting some of his old friends. Liu sat on the bench, shading his phone so he could continue to see the screen while Jeff leaned against the pole, listening to music.
The two were pulled back into reality when someone on a skateboard jumped over Liu’s lap, inches above his phone. Liu jolted back in surprise, letting out an angry “Oh, what the hell!” Jeff slowly turned off his music while the kid landed, keeping the headphones in and an indifferent look on his face.
The kid turned back to them, kicking his skateboard up and catching it in his hands. He looked about the same age as Jeff, fifteen. “Well, looks like we got some fresh meat.” Jeff watched two other kids come up behind Jeff, one of them grabbing his arm. Jeff shrugged him off, moving to stand by Liu. “Since you’re new here, I thought we would introduce ourselves. That’s Keith, he’s Troy” the kid nodded at the guy who grabbed Jeff, “and I’m Randy. Now, for all the kids in this neighborhood there is a small price for bus fare, if you catch my drift.”
Neither of them responded, Liu just looking at Jeff and mouthing What the fuck, drawing a small smile from him. Randy got up in Jeff’s face. “I’m talking to you, freak.” Jeff took one headphone out and stared at him blankly, watching Liu stand up out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, not happening. Find some other kid to harass.” He put the earbud back in and looked away, keeping eye contact with Liu. Liu shook his head, adjusting his bag on his shoulders.
“It wasn’t a question. Either you pay the bus fair, or you’re walking to school.” Jeff could feel someone standing behind him, a quick glance from the corner of his eye telling him it was Troy. Jeff balled his fists, an action that did not go unnoticed by Liu, who shook his head at him.
“And I said it’s not happening, so fuck off.” Jeff pushed away from them, standing by himself, away from the group. He caught movement from the corner of his eye and narrowly avoided a punch from Keith. Before Keith could turn around, Jeff turned and punched him in the back of the head, sending him to the ground.
Nobody moved for a second, only reacting when the bus started coming down the street. Liu quickly went and grabbed Jeff’s arm, pulling him away from the trio and closer to the bus stop. Keith stood up, putting a hand to the back of his head. Troy advanced to retaliate, but was stopped by the opening of the bus doors. Jeff and Liu rushed onto the bus under the driver’s watchful eye. They sat together near the front, Jeff staring at the other boys as they entered the bus.
Before he could say anything, Randy was quickly pulled away by a dark haired girl, who dragged him to the back of the bus, Troy and Keith following them. Liu pulled out his phone, texting his friends about what happened. Jeff went to do the same, but was stopped by the feeling in his chest. This time though, it was less of a pain and more of a warmth. He closed his eyes and just focused on the feeling, leaning his head on the window.
Jeff walked into his first class alone, picking a desk at the back of the room. He watched the other kids begin to file in, scattering across the room to wait for their friends. He pulled his phone out, scrolling through old texts while he waited for class to start, making sure to keep his bag under his desk. He put his phone down as the teacher, who introduced himself as Mr. Howard, began to walk around the room for attendance, passing out schedules as he did. As soon as the paper was slid onto his desk, Jeff took a picture of it, cropping it to fit as his lock screen before turning his phone off, sliding it into his bag.
Jeff zoned out for the standard start of the year speech from the teacher, doodling on his schedule. He rested his head on his hand, only looking up when he felt someone staring at him. He looked around, locking eyes with a girl who was almost completely turned around in her chair and staring at him. Jeff focused on a bright pink strand of hair, which stood out from the rest of her dark hair, before shaking his head at her and returning to his drawing, quickly tuning out the teacher’s talking. He could tell that she hadn’t stopped staring at him, but ignored her in favour of sketching an eye.
He was shaken from his trance when a paper was placed on his desk. Picking it up, Jeff realized it was the class syllabus. He looked up to the front of the room, glancing at the clock before listening to the teacher read over the packet.
The bell rang sooner than he expected, forcing him to shove the syllabus into his bag and hurry out of the room, pulling out his phone to begin his search for his next class. A tap on his shoulder called his attention to the girl from earlier, who had a large smile on her face.
“Hi! You’re new here, right? Do you need help finding your next class? Do you want me to take you there?” She spoke quickly, barley leaving any room for Jeff to answer a question before moving on to the next one. He blinked at her, waiting for her to finish before answering.
“Uh, yeah, it’s my first year here. Could you help me find it?” Jeff answered slowly. He didn’t really want to talk to this girl, she was way too excited. But he really did need her help, so he showed her the picture of his schedule. She took the phone from his hands, studying the picture for a moment before brightening up again.
“Great! Okay, so it’s like, halfway across the school, but you’ve got a study hall, so it’s good. I’ll lead you!” She shoved his phone back into his ands and grabbed his other wrist, practically dragging him through the halls as she chatted at him. He ended up not minding much, as she pointed out different rooms to him along the way, including the gym and the cafeteria.
They got to the study hall right before the warning bell rang. The girl left before he could ask her name, the one thing she had managed to avoid talking about, but he shrugged it off and entered the room.
#jeff the killer#jeff the killer rewrite#creepypasta#creepypasta rewrite#my writing#randy#troy#keith#long post
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Here’s a colored version while I work on the writing
(Troy||Randy||Jane||Keith)
#troy#randy#jane#keith#jane the killer#jane arkensaw#creepypasta#art#my art#character design#character art
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Some character designs
(Troy||Randy||Jane||Keith)
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I’m like 1.5k in and I’m just now getting to the first incident w/ Randy
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So, I’ll be posting updates every 2~2.5k words unless I feel like it’s really important or I need help with a part
I might change that in the future, but I’ll try to stick with this for now
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Here’s a rewrite the newspaper excerpt:
“Go To Sleep”
Spree Killer is Still at Large
After weeks of unexplained murders and little evidence, the ominous killer is still at large. However, we have an exclusive interview with a young boy who says he survived one of the killer’s attacks.
“I woke up in the middle of the night because I was cold,” says the boy, “the window was open, so I thought that was it. I mean, the window wasn’t open when I went to bed, but I was tired and didn’t really think about it. I went back to bed after that, or I tried to at least. I was too uncomfortable, felt like I was being watched. I was looking around my room, trying to figure out why I felt like that, when I locked eyes with a guy. He was standing in my closet, just staring at me! His eyes, they weren't human. They were bordered in black and, just, straight up terrifying. That’s when he smiled. It was unnatural. It was way too wide, I think he cut it or something. I couldn’t move, so we were staring at each other for what felt like hours. After a while, he moved. He got right up in my face and started to speak.
“He said, ‘Kids like you should just go to sleep’. That’s the only part I could understand. The rest was just crazy talk. He pulled out a knife and just started dragging it over my body. That’s when I started to scream. I guess that’s what set him off. He got on top of me and brought his knife to my face, started trying to carve my mouth like his, I think. I started trying to fight back, kicking at him.
“That’s when my Dad ran into my room. He grabbed the guy, threw him off me. They fought for a bit, I definitely saw my Dad punch him in the face. I was at the door at this point, ready to run, but I couldn’t leave my Dad behind with the guy.
“Dad got stabbed just as we heard sirens. Apparently, Mom called the cops. The guy ran past us, breaking a window to escape. Dad and I ran towards the door, meeting Mom and running outside to safety.”
The police are still looking for this man. If you see anyone that fits the description in this story, please contact your local police department.
#my writing#creepypasta#jeff the killer#rewrite#creepypasta rewrite#jeff the killer rewrite#news article#prologue
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Rewrite is going well so far
Just over a thousand words
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I’m working on rewriting the original Jeff the Killer Creepypasta because hyperfixation
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