grabyourpillow

[grabyourpillow]

by dimda_

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HOPE by Zimmy

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“てらす” (To shine) by Karin Hosono

Karin Hosono | 2023

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“Bruised Fruit / To The Core”

chronic pain has been kicking my ass lately so uh here’s something that came from that

prints available here !

(click image for optimal quality)

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Luis Xertu (Mexican, b. 1985, Mexico City, Mexico, based Rotterdam, Netherlands) - Two Men on a Branch, 2024, Paintings: Plants, Acrylics on Canvas

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if you can’t fix it you’ve got to stand it being the last line of the brokeback mountain novella is so crazy it makes me feel like my guts are falling out. if you can’t fix it you’ve got to stand it. jesus fucking christ

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He's a lot to handle. Also where was my HURR HURR HRRRRR

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Retired Dream to enjoy~

Just in general how Morpheus is given a month to truly enjoy life and Hob will prove its worth living.

@avelera and I had the similar brainwaves when it came to that line in Mr.Bluesky. Hob always grabs Morpheus by the face to kiss him for this line. So first time was jarring, then it became over and over again LOL alternate version here too

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One beloved summer ritual I've had for years was taking my various summer guests on the picturesque walk up the hill, through the woods and cow pastures, to go buy a cheese wheel at the small farm on the plateau. But in early June I went by myself and learnt that there would be no cheese this summer; the farm owners just had a baby. Cheesemaking is only part of their activity and as they're understandably very busy now, they've decided to pause this part of the operation for the time being.

I've been re-reading Camus to cope with this. "You continue making the gestures commanded by existence for many reasons, the first of which is habit.” Yes. I've gone on this walk up the hill many times since, because the body remembers the pattern even as the world rescinds its offerings. I climb the hill because I used to. I climb it because unanswered prayer is still prayer. Some part of me knows I shouldn't treat a wheel of cheese like it's the divine Logos withdrawn from the material plane, but I find meaning in continuing the ritual in full awareness of its futility. "The absurd man takes no refuge in the illusions of hope; but he is not resigned. He continues."

“Sisyphus, proletarian of the gods, powerless and rebellious, knows the whole extent of his wretched condition: it is what he thinks of during his descent." Same. This is where my absurd condition crystallises. I trudge back down the hill, cheeseless, not deluded, not desperate, but conscious. Then I go up again.

"Nostalgia is stronger here than knowledge. Reason is an instrument of thought and not thought itself. Above all, a man’s thought is his nostalgia." Reason tells me they've had a baby. Nostalgia whispers that the cheese remains. It's not a belief, just the memory of hope in a world emptied of its promise.

“There is so much stubborn hope in a human heart.” I still hope they might start making cheese again in September.

In the meantime, I have tried to convert my summer guests—friends and relatives—to the belief that the rite is sacred because it outlasts meaning; they reacted with varying degrees of metaphysical commitment. When I said we should now walk to the cheese farm not in expectation of cheese, but in lucid confrontation with its absence, my aunt pointed out that there are other farms; a friend accused me of weaponising philosophy against reasonable decision-making again. I understand that you can't convince everyone. You can only climb your hill, and carry your truth. I tried to explain it better to other guests, to say that we do not resign ourselves, or naively hope; we walk past hope then choose to keep walking, not toward meaning but through its ruins. Cousin: "What if I actually want to buy cheese?" Then you are not ready. But you will be. Until then, I will climb for both of us.

Then my best friend brought me a cheese (the "same" cheese) that she'd bought from another farm on her way to my place. It was really nice of her, even though it violated the covenant of absence. We ate some of it, had a sunny picnic in the pasture, and I quietly observed her as she began to perceive the problem. She could taste it. This cheese was philosophically inert. It lived outside the myth, content just to be edible. It was here, it was good, and incapable of signifying.

She told me that her first reaction upon learning about my existential cheese pilgrimage was to think I needed a puzzle feeder, but now she was beginning to see my point—she said this in the weary tone of someone who realises that the bit has, regrettably, achieved structural coherence and now demands to be treated as a belief system. She said, "I'm starting to regret having brought that cheese." That's because you committed an act of metaphysical substitution. "That’s exactly what I thought you’d say." 😔 I just mean you tried to replace the sign with the thing itself. "I brought cheese to a picnic." And it's good cheese! With bad ontology. It's just pure referent. The human spirit craves a cheese that can gesture beyond itself; or else it can't feed anything but hunger.

She admitted that I had a point. Well, to be exact she said this sentence shouldn't exist, but she accepted that she now lived in a world where it is, somehow, true, and she was ready to contemplate its implications. Which meant going up the hill. To the cheeseless farm. "So—you don't want cheese anymore?" No, I want it. That's what makes it absurd.

“The absurd man catches sight of a transparent and limited universe in which nothing is possible but everything is given (except cheese) and beyond which all is collapse and nothingness. He can then decide to accept such a universe and draw from it his strength, his refusal to hope, and the unyielding evidence of a life without consolation.”

She walked up the hill with me, interested in the unyielding evidence of a life without consolation. She was trying to understand. We talked about how Camus said that the absurd man, when he contemplates his torment, silences all the idols. Friend: "The idol is the baby?" Right; that makes sense. And the parents are the priests. "That's ridiculous but coherent. The cheese is the lamb. Sacrificed to absorb disruption." Exactly. The cheese was the most innocent being in this scenario, the most marginal and voiceless. It had to die. Its makers chose procreation over fermentation (which some would argue produces more lasting cultures.) "So we're sure there won't be cheese at the end of our walk?" Quite certain. "And we're climbing anyway." I saw it—her thoughtful nod. A crack in her worldview where cheese must be the answer rather than the question. She had touched the rind of the absurd.

We reached the farm, but didn't knock at the door. We stood outside near the cheese cellar like Vladimir and Estragon. The cows looked at us peaceably. The wind smelled like fresh hay. The wildflowers buzzed faintly with truth.

"The absurd is born of this confrontation between human need and the unreasonable silence of the world."

Friend: "So we're... visiting the absence of cheese. Of meaning." Yes! "And we accept it?" We don’t just accept it. We follow the contours of meaninglessness until they resemble a path.

"It is during that pause, that Sisyphus interests me. That hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousness. The lucidity that was to constitute his torture at the same time crowns his victory. There is no fate that can not be surmounted by scorn."

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why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

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Your Friend, Death: Chapter 7 - Movie Night

Missed a Chapter? ... Chapter List - Here!

JESUS!!! Alright alright alright!! I'm sorry I know a lot of you guys thought THIS would be the "Resurrection Chapter", but I promise it'll be the NEXT Chapter!! I'm sooo excited!! Thank you all for being so patient!! 🥰🤗

Drawing Copia's Papa Robes are a pain in the assssssss---

Plus we haven't had a Flashback Chapter in a while, eh? You've all heard of Cardinal Terzo, but what about Priest Terzo??

Copia's first impression of Omega was of him sucking on Terzo's face.

I'm sure most of you are assuming who the child was who was kidnapped.... we'll get to that later.

I hope you enjoyed this Chapter!! :))) A little light-hearted one before shit goes down in the next Chapter.... The Resurrection!!

Thank you all again sooo much!! I love you guys!! 💜💜💜 Additional Notes Below!

Chapter List - Here!

~~~~~~~~~

Jesus

Jesus, or Kevin, an iconic stagehand part of the tours that I absolutely adore. <3 He was shown in RHRN and if you've been to a Ritual, he is the hero with the leaf blower. He and Copia have bonded over the years and although upset he is now tasked to replace the Papas with dummies and most likely will have to cover for Copia... He's there for his former Papa.

Replacing the Bodies

If you are fortunate enough to have the VIP Experience for the Skeletour and saw the bodies of the former Papas... they look real, don't they? Well, their robes are anyway. Jesus saves the day and was able to get the "dummy" Papas in time for the Ghost Tour! Will anyone notice, though?

Flashback Details

Location, Terzo's suite. The year is 1985. Copia is 16 years old here, having been away from his home to study in the Clergy in Italy for 2 years. Within that time Terzo had summoned Omega (and Secondo, Alpha). Terzo is 22 years old here.

Omega

Omega acts very innocent here. Having only been on Earth's surface for 2 years. He acts like a lot of current day Ghouls in this Flashback. He is still learning about humans and how life works on Earth. Though, his feeling for Terzo didn't need much time to form. He takes to Copia quickly, seeing how much he means to Terzo.

Terzo Speaks Swedish

It is cannon that Terzo speaks some Swedish. When Secondo was Papa he claimed he could speak Swedish and proceeded to speak it horribly to the audience. Then when Terzo came around as Papa he made fun of Secondo for lying about being able to speak Swedish. In the same concert, Terzo proceeded to shout out to the audience in fluent Swedish. My headcannon: Terzo learned Swedish in preparation for studying at the Clergy in Sweden one day. Omega knows some Swedish as well because he helped Terzo study. Sometimes they speak to each other in Swedish when others are around to keep what they are saying a secret.

Movies

Copia and Terzo bond over their love of movies, even having movie nights together. Copia loves Sci-Fi Movies a the most (Star Wars is his ride or die) while Terzo favors Horror Movies (he geeks out over Universal Monsters).

Emeritus Rules

Copia is free to leave the Clergy because he is "not of Emeritus Blood" (no one knows he is yet in this time period). On the other hand, the other brothers have stricter rules. They are not allowed to leave Clergy grounds without supervision until the age of 18. They have to carry on the Royal Bloodline! And it's dangerous out there! Nothing must happen to them until their destinys has been fulfilled.

The Child

The disappearance of this "random" child mistaken for an Emeritus. Kidnapped by a Rival Church. Wonder what happened to them.... Copia was too young to remember this (or maybe he does a little bit?) and Terzo doesn't seem to want to talk about it, at all. Perhaps he has a secret?

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I made my version of the Demon Hunters 🇧🇷(first generation)

I really loved this trend

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Sharp tongue

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Fracturing Architecture