greatunclesparkdude

[greatunclesparkdude]

[greatunclesparkdude]

No one:

Cicadas, emerging from the ground after 17 years:

[greatunclesparkdude]

[greatunclesparkdude]

EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE EGG FACE

[greatunclesparkdude]

Self care is stupid I want to beat my dad with his own bones

[greatunclesparkdude]

Do people know about the long term sponsorship MBMBAM used to have with Extreme Restraints (like several months of weekly ads) where they’d have to talk about various sex toys and once had to talk about them in a completely PG-13 way for candlenights. Do PEOPLE NOT KNOW that Extreme Restraints sent the McElboys an anonymous list of all the weird shit people bought with their coupon code.

No one talks about the long period of time when the McElboys were sponsored by a sex toy/bdsm online store and put their hearts and souls into those ads and I’m afraid it’s because people don’t know about it

[greatunclesparkdude]

my body is less of a “temple” and more of a rotting 19th century mansion rumored to be haunted by several wicked and vengeful spirits

[greatunclesparkdude]

im a bar of soap and God is an instagram girl with acrylic nails and a box cutter

[greatunclesparkdude]

BBQ

blease be quiet

[greatunclesparkdude]

cardinal truths:

-women be shoppin

-men get pegged

-cops are bastards

-shrimpin ain’t easy

[greatunclesparkdude]

[greatunclesparkdude]

[greatunclesparkdude]

i love being insane on the internet with you homosexuals 

[greatunclesparkdude]

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

[greatunclesparkdude]

[greatunclesparkdude]

[greatunclesparkdude]

Aries Sun + Virgo Moon