Michael | 23 | he/him | 18+ | ask to tag | cultured misunderstanderartblog: greyedian-art[This creature is not the photographer, just the camera]
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andreas maler of nuremberg fancam
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ok taking a break from here for real this time, so i can work on finding joy in making art again and reconnecting with why i even want to make it and all that✌️bc i'm tired of this being like a reoccurring crisis and social media is certainly not helping with that
#if you see me on here again do me a favor and tell me to leave lol#i do have a few more andreas fancam fridays queued so i'll leave you with that✌️#which feels very in spirit with the whole artistic existential crisis lmao#oh andreas maler we're really in it now#anyway bye take care everyone✌️
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“I’m going to fucking kill you.”
fanart of Your Guts are Like Mine ch 8 by @liarliaronapyre
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longing for the day when making fanart stops feeling like i'm massively disrespecting the source material lol
#i don't think i'm ever doing anything justice which makes me not want to draw at all#i miss when it used to be fun when i was less concerned about quality and just expressing my love for a piece of media#i wish i could get these posts out of my head about how fandoms misinterpret characters until they're no longer recognizable#to the point where it's like. do you even like this character. do you even care about canon#why are you making fanworks when you clearly don't care about canon why are you here#and also posts like: everyone misinterprets The Blorbo i'm the only one who gets it etc etc you know that entire genre of posts#there's nothing inherently wrong with them and i get what they're addressing i just wish i'd never have to see them again#bc they've never been relatable to me i always feel like i'm the idiot always misinterpreting everything#me being needlessly sensitive about this has killed all my passion for fanart tbh#like i'll just get it wrong. again. at least twice already did i stray from canon too much or misinterpret something#it's not that i'm deliberately trying to get shit wrong and when i'm diverging from canon in some form-#i'm usually doing it in favor of exploring an idea that builds on top of canon#even if i'm not good at showing or explaining it. i wish i was but i'm scared of people thinking i'm doing it to one-up canon#or bc i didn't understand it. which i mean that happens sometimes too but i'm really not trying to do it maliciously#idk sometimes i feel like in fandom there is some kind of threshold of quality you have to hit to participate#and i can neither identify where it is or how to hit it. if i try to i'll just piss someone off again#it bums me out. i know i can just draw without having to post it but getting to share is kind of the point to me?#not even as a numbers game idc about likes or whatever i just love seeing peoples' reactions yknow#i could just draw my ocs but i'm not as passionate about that at the moment so idk#sorry for being whiny again i'm just having a rough time with this hobby that used to be so fulfilling i wish i could go back to that#delete later <3 sry it's probably just the lack of sleep making me overdramatic again *explodes*
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art is the only thing that makes me feel alive
#engaging with it; making it; sharing it etc etc#everything else is a bit shit rn honestly 👍but it's ok art will be there for me until it gets better#y'know i say this but then i don't actually draw that much myself which... would explain why i've been feeling so out of it#michaelpost.txt
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Potentially hot take but one of the reasons we need art and music in schools is that, taught correctly, they are ideal avenues for teaching kids how to do something, kinda suck at it, keep going anyways and improve over time.
And THAT is one of the most valuable skill sets a human being can have. THAT is the skill set that unlocks soooooo many others.
A LOT of people I see with anxiety and depression do not have this skill set. To suck at something is a threat. Proof that they are doomed to suck at it forever. And then, often, that either THEY suck forever or the task must be stupid/useless/pointless (whence we get AI art fans who have decided actually making art is pointless and degrading the labor and skills of others is fine because these are useless skills).
Or you get the freeze- the inability to try things in case you fail. The sudden lancing shame and humiliation or hopelessness. The sense that anything you haven't learned by now you can't learn. Which is so heartbreaking and so untrue.
I just hate it.
"What if I write it and it's bad" "what if I draw it and it's bad" "what if I play it and it sounds bad" DOING IT BAD IS HOW YOU LEARN TO DO IT GOOD! You can't skip the process of leaning and the process is FUN if you let it be what it needs to be!
#love that i've been drawing for years and yet i still haven't really developed this skill lol#like idk maybe a little but i still get the freeze so fucking bad and really frequently#doesn't help that people especially online will tear apart art that they perceive as bad#but yea you gotta learn to ignore them and keep going regardless bc it's good to learn this skill!#<- i say not knowing how to do that either lmao
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Something like this would be so colossally helpful. I'm sick and tired of trying to research specific clothing from any given culture and being met with either racist stereotypical costumes worn by yt people or ai generated garbage nonsense, and trying to be hyper specific with searches yields fuck all. Like I generally just cannot trust the legitimacy of most search results at this point. It's extremely frustrating. If there are good resources for this then they're buried deep under all the other bullshit, and idk where to start looking.
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Hellhesten (The Hell Horse), 1892 by Norwegian painter and illustrator Gerhard Munthe
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if you've been drawing for several hours and the piece doesn't turn into anything, you didn't waste that time. you still drew. art is art, not a product
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the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .
for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...
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I assure you: somebody, somewhere, is on the exact same wavelength as you are.
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I'm just going to throw it out there that insecurity sucks and it makes doing things so damn hard, and if you're managing to do them despite your lack of confidence then you're amazing and I wish you the best 💗
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i hate this training we’ve all had in consumption like over the years we have learned to eat and eat and eat binge shows tear through books listen to podcasts on 1.5x speed. i know the world is running faster than us and our jobs make it seem like there is no time to do anything. But when people make fanart or write fic it’s different than the content that we see on tv or read in a book. this isn’t produced, it’s sincerely created, it’s made from the heart for free and out of very limited and measured time. It is inconceivable to me that people would not only treat this valuable and earnest community contribution like run of the mill mass produced bullshit content but would also be mean to the creator? i am holding a gun .
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