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100% atk and 0% dmg baby goat

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D’yall ever read a book and go “Goddamn, my DnD OC would have *opinions* about this,” or is that just me?

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“Why is snoop dogg at the Olympics-“

WRONG QUESTION!

WHY ISNT MARTHA STEWART THERE WITH HIM?

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Oh no…

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Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

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The cheesesteak from a dive deli in my college town with bacon, mozzarella, and bbq sauce.

this is so real and never leaves me

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I would like to say, for the record, that these factions became that way as a result of Super Earth’s actions in the first war.

The terminids are fully sapient, and are only on worlds beyond their hone system because Super Earth enslaved them and turned them into livestock to harvest fuel. The technician who says they still don’t know how terminids get from world to world? Humans did it to farm fuel. They aren’t the tyranids or zerg. They’re rabbits in Australia.

The automatons are, presumably, decended from the cyborgs. The cyborgs were human criminals who had their bodies ravaged by cybernetic implants and sent to hostile worlds as slave labor. Their attempt to free themselves was brutally crushed. So they radicalized. And now they’re genocidal.

And the illuminate are the most tragic. They didn’t want to do anything but go around the galaxy showing off their cool tech, and Super Earth slaughtered their delegation to steal the tech. In the first war, the illuminate were believed to have been rendered truly extinct. I fear for what they may have become in the century since.

By now there's already been plenty of discussion about how Helldivers 2 is this generation's version of Starship Troopers, being a blatant and unabashed satire of fascism and US militarist imperialism and how actual fascists are shocked to learn that the game is mocking them.

But at the same time I'm seeing a consistent number of people leaning so hard in the other direction and assuming that since Super Earth is cartoonishly evil, that makes the enemy factions of Helldivers 2 unambiguous heroes. This is not the case. Helldivers is very much a Warhammer 40k situation of "the entire universe is fucked and awful, it's villains and monsters all the way down, you are just playing as the villains and monsters that look like you". The Terminids are invasive superpredators that indiscriminately kill and eat everything they find around their hives and reduce the surrounding area to blackened, spore-choked rock. The Automatons round up and butcher civilians and desecrate remains to adorn themselves with skulls and severed limbs, and their Cyborg predecessors weren't any better.

Helldivers is not Good VS Evil with Villain Protagonists, it is Evil VS Evil VS Self-Inflicted Plague of Locusts. The only faction that wasn't overtly evil was the Illuminate, but even that is subject to change when they eventually show up again.

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Ringworld things

probably shitty worldbuilding idea: fantasy world that keeps going

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Godzilla Minus One wants to play!🐕

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Fighters should have magic

I mean this shit 100% seriously BTW.

An impassioned rant about Fighters' place in modern campaigns.

There is certainly an argument to be made for sometimes not giving Fighters access to magic! In a low magic setting like Dark Sun (yes, I know the magic situation in that setting is more complicated than that), it makes perfect sense that Fighters wouldn't go anywhere near the stuff! In some of the more old school low fantasy focused DnD editions, or some OSR systems, it makes sense that magic would require years of practice for even the most basic of spells, and so Fighters wouldn't bother with it.

That is not, however, the bulk of modern campaigns. Be it DnD, or Pathfinder, or so many other fantasy heartbreakers out there nowadays, most campaigns are fantastical, filled with wonderous magic and queer tieflings and rogues who literally cloak themselves in shadows and jumping between planes to save the world and so much more!

In these campaigns, Fighters should know magic!

If your setting is even close to treating magic as commonplace, where having a level 1 wizard under the age of a billion fucking years old is considered within the realm of feasibility, than EVERYONE should have access to magic!

Any adventurer in such a setting who decided to start a life of wilderness exploration, and DIDN'T learn the spell Prestidigitation, is nothing short of monster bait. "Oh yes this spell that starts campfires and cleans my clothes and seasons my food and is THE MOST BASIC SPELL IN EXISTENCE certainly isn't worth my time!" - The words of someone about to get eaten by a coyote on their first night. Not even a fun magical creature, just a regular ass coyote because they are THAT unprepared. Even if it wasn't a cantrip and required 5 minutes of focus to cast, every adventurer should know this spell by heart.

But obviously, that isn't unique to just Fighters.

Fighters are focused on being masters of weaponry! They study the blade, learn it inside and out! They don't have time for magic... right?

No. They don't have time to learn SPELLS. That you could absolutely make an argument for. A fighter doesn't have to learn to shoot a fireball, because that's not how they fight. Not knowing magic that augments their fighting style, in a setting where magic is commonplace, is equivalent to that fighter going "Oh I'm too busy to learn to fight with weapons. I dont have time to learn to sharpen one properly." THAT IS ASININE. WHAT REASON DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE FOR IGNORING A SKILL DIRECTLY LINKED TO THEIR CHOSEN PROFESSION? Spells like True Strike are things a fighter would learn! But even if not spells, magical augmentation to their skill are something a Fighter would absolutely embrace! Anything that helps them further the effectiveness of their weapons should be fair game for their practice. Even if it worked like Paladins or Rangers where you typically just don't get the spells until higher levels.

And the games already reflect this! What do Fighters need to maintain damage pacing and ability as they grow stronger? That's right. Magic. In the form of Magic Weapons and Armor.

Magic armaments are considered commonplace in these settings, being handed out like candy. They are an expected part of character progression, and the games are balanced around the expectation that a fighter will be using them. So why, then, is the master of weapons and all they embody completely ignorant on the front of magical weapons?

Sure, a fighter might not be able to craft magic weapons. Not every fighter has to be a blacksmith. But much like how it should be expected that a fighter should be able to at least MAINTAIN their weapons, a fighter should absolutely be trained in the kinds of magic that are APPLIED to weapons. A fighter should be able to take a single glance at a weapon in a chest, and turn to the party and go "Hey this thing is cursed as fuck, don't touch it."

In worlds that are so fantastical and magical, it does not make sense to have a guy who's whole deal is knowing how to fight, and have him completely ignore A MASSIVE segment of fighting styles they will be going up against.

If your setting is magical, then your Fighters should be magical too, damnit!

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More DnD esque fantasy needs to play with the idea of “afterlife as place you can go.” Like, if you’re in a story where the hero is on the ropes and you can’t figure out how they’re gonna get out of it? Kill em! Let the bad guy have their deserved win, and tell the tale of how your hero escapes from the far less metaphorical clutches of death! That would be so cool!

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normalise being bad at roofs in minecraft. normalise not being able to make an aesthetically pleasing roof to save your life in minecraft.

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most powerful mailman

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Battletech/Halo crossover art

Credit to tychorionDraws on Twitter

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Tread here.