h14h - Tumblr blog

[h14h]

[h14h]

‪my manager and coworkers keep throwing food at me ): they’re definitely starting to notice smth is up even tho i’m still huge, my guess is it’s bc i’ve been losing fast for neurotypical standards but i rly do not think the answer to my problems is restaurant food even tho they’re being kind ;-;

i literally had to cry today bc i puked in the bathroom and my new friend pulled me aside and she was so so kind and she was like are u eating enough? and she gave me a mint and gum too ;-; crazy im still fat as shit and alr getting questions but it’s prob bc my work bestie is very very ana so they’re worried since we’re close her habits are rubbing off on me (they are; as if they weren’t alr here im just on the tail end of the weight loss now so it’s more noticeable how fast im losing and the habits are getting worse)

i will say it’s a lot easier to starve myself surrounded by friends who care about me than rotting in my room alone so. win. hopefully i drop the rest of this awful weight before summer is over and start to maintain. i also hope that things keep going so well for me socially bc the combination of a mental breakdown and ugw would be scary bc i would absolutely just try and starve myself to death and it would be a lot lot easier at that point than when im fat as shit lololol.

it’s also crazy bc i always fantasized ab getting the questions like this when i was a neglected miserable fat little girl but now they r honestly quite jarring and i genuinely do not know how to react. ;-; also, my fucking pants i bought a month ago are alr huge on me and even the clothes i thought i would NEVER be able to fit into are getting too big as well which is an incredibly weird feeling knowing i still have so so much to lose

[h14h]

week of 5/20

avg out to like 11k a day or smth? ab to go out and get some more too :)

steps accountability thread ᯓ★

[h14h]

week of 5/13

another p good week, even w the lazy days i avgd about 9,771 steps a day :3

i’m about to get a membership at a fancy gym now that i’m getting paid well so i’ll be able to add pilates and swimming into my routine! this is more to make work comfortable and build muscle than to rly lose weight as the only real way for me to do that is to keep maintaining my big ole deficit

i think i’ve got another two or three weeks until i’ll rly start having a flat (ish) tummy and then another month or two until im in the low weight range :3 finally seeing progress which is very very scary but it’ll be worth it to feel pretty in my clothes and to not question if i can be w the ppl i want to be with

steps accountability thread ᯓ★

[h14h]

week of 5/6

much better this week, this averages out to about 11k a day, i’m about to go out and prob get ab 6k more as well

steps accountability thread ᯓ★

[h14h]

sitting in someone’s lap rn would fix me

[h14h]

if i force myself to get 10k and work out every day it’ll be even faster ;-; hot by 4th of july

the only thing keeping me going rn ill be honest

[h14h]

the only thing keeping me going rn ill be honest

[h14h]

Eat wise, drop a size Every taste adds to the waist

[h14h]

[h14h]

[h14h]

beach thinsp0

all photos from pinterest

[h14h]

week of 4/29 ):

not so good this week but i fasted a looooot so i was quite tired. i averaged this out and it comes out to about 5k a day i really need to do better but im starting a new sport soon and hours at work will be picking up so hopefully that helps me

steps accountability thread ᯓ★

[h14h]

[h14h]

i wanna be one of those girls that’s so beautiful and so kind and so striking that boys grandmas and mothers r obsessed w me ;-; i neED IT

[h14h]

[h14h]

‪if i can get in a reasonable fucking goddamn weight range i’ll literally look like liv tyler w marilyn’s body i HAVEEE to fucking do this i have to get my revenge on all these stupid fucking boys ‬