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[hannahmcne]

After 31 years on the Isle of the Lost, the Isle is recognized as an Auradon Province and the first representatives come over. Mal's mostly planning to stay low and avoid people who aren't worth her time until some things start to not line up. Why does no one respect the King of Auradon? Why does no one want to be around him? What happened that no one talks about?Normally, she'd keep her nose out of mysteries like this, but geesh, who wouldn't want someone so sexy?

[hannahmcne]

I know I said that I would be leaving and unavailable but in between all my training I managed to finish one last story. This one is about vampires because I really, really love vampires. Adore them. Summary: After 31 years on the Isle of the Lost, the Isle is recognized as an Auradon Province and the first representatives come over. Mal's mostly planning to stay low and avoid people who aren't worth her time until some things start to not line up. Why does no one respect the King of Auradon? Why does no one want to be around him? What happened that no one talks about?

Normally, she'd keep her nose out of mysteries like this, but geesh, who wouldn't want someone so sexy?

[hannahmcne]

King Benjamin set Mal's nickname to "Confusing Acquaintance"

Mal: Oof, Frienzoned.

King Benjamin set Mal's nickname to "Confusing Girlfriend".

[hannahmcne]

Reflection excerpt - Whatever I'm Worth

“So, you like church,” Mal whispered as she sat down in a pew beside Belle, with Ben on her other side. In a notch in the bench in front of her was a bible and a hymnbook with a reflective plate on the front. She picked up the bible and flipped through it. “I’ve never read one of these in my life.”

“I lowkey swear by the bible,” Ben murmured. He took the book from her hands and balanced it on his fingertips to open it. “I have favorite verses and everything.”

Mal nodded. “Cool,” she whispered. “I think I once used the bible against Judge Frollo on the Isle, but I’ve never picked it up and flipped through it. I might have to, if you like it so much.”

Ben shrugged. “You know you don’t have to be here, right?” he asked. “I just come because I like it. You don’t have to like it for me.”

“It is beautiful.” Mal looked up at the giant stained windows of the church and hummed at the pictures she recognized. They were near the back, on the edge, staring up at the podium and the giant pictures of the bloody Christ on either side of the microphone. The sun was casting gorgeous colors all over the room. It was a pretty glorious place to be.

“So what do you like about church?” Mal asked as she picked up the hymnbook and began peering through it.

Ben laughed nervously. “It helps me feel like I’m doing something right, you know?”

“No.”

His smile fell slack. “Well, when I’m here, I like to imagine all the bad things that I have to deal with going away and I just get to think about, you know, what it’s like to get a second chance at something.”

“It feels pretty good,” Mal said. “Getting a second chance, I mean. Thank you for inviting us.”

Ben smiled softly. “Of course,” he whispered.

A man in a white robe holding a cross got up to the podium and began to speak. “Galatians 2:20,” he said. “I am crucified with Christ; Nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.” Ben began flipping to the place as the man spoke.

Mal squinted up to see the numbers in the holder on the left that told which song number was going to be sung. She opened the hymnbook and began flipping through as Ben found the verse being read and finished it alongside the priest.

As she tilted the cover, something looked odd. She paused, but couldn’t find it again. Looked behind her – there was nothing there. So she flipped to the hymn and then closed the book partially to examine it again.

Nothing strange was on the book. No rips or tears or funny stains. She squinted closer to see if there was maybe a dent on the reflective plate, and then it occurred to her that she was seeing the wall even though she was sitting next to Ben.

She angled the book more, trying to find his reflection, and instead found the bible he was holding appeared to be floating instead.

Ben had no reflection.

He glanced at her and upon realizing his situation, his arm launched out and he snatched the cover of the book, covering the plate without squishing her fingers. He turned, wild and anxious and panicking, and put his hand on her arm. “Please don’t freak out!” he whispered.

“What the heck, Ben? I’m not freaking out.” She pulled the hymnbook out from under his grasp, shut it most of the way, and held it up to see herself and him next to her. Like she was taking a selfie with the hymnbook. There she was, golden and reflected and with nothing else beside her. She turned the other way. Belle and Adam had stopped listening and were staring at her. Both their reflections appeared in the metal. Mal hummed and set the book down.

“Let’s talk about this later,” she whispered and patted his arm. He looked terrified out of his wits.

Mal had two parents who’d raised her on tales of magic and magical creatures. She wasn’t an idiot or a superstitious person and was reasoning out in her head whether or not this really changed things.

Has Ben given you any reason to think he might hurt you? Absolutely not. The way he was behaving now gave further evidence to suggest he was opposed to that idea. Good enough for her.

She looped her arm through his and stumbled along with the words.

[hannahmcne]

Drama

Mal: On a scale from one to ten, how dramatic am I?

Evie: It's laughable how you think you can max out at a ten.

[hannahmcne]

Guard: Current Status.

Mal: Ambassador to the Isle of the Lost.

Guard: And reason for visiting Auradon Castle today?

Mal: I'm the Ambassador to the Isle of the Lost. What do you think I'm here for?

Guard: Well, you're dressed like you're planning an assassination.

Mal: I don't think you're important enough to count as an assassination.

[hannahmcne]

Imagine being King Ben and all at the age of 19 you’ve opened a new era, saved the lives of a hundred-ish kids by offering them redemption and basic food, water, clothing, shelter and schooling, been kidnapped, turned to stone and frozen, cursed, interrupted a fight between a dragon and a cecaelia, and then married that dragon, who happens to be the daughter of the mistress of all evil and the god of the undead.

All I’m saying is that life’s crazy.

[hannahmcne]

It'll Be Us is my 600 page tragedy, inspired by the Bolshevik Revolution, my experience with school violence, Macbeth, Ophelia, and modern-day politics. Characterized by long chapters and my personal favorite political battles, it was drafted primarily as a vent to my frustrations about how people do not understand government's purpose and require unrealistic things from it, leading to less effective systems, power vacuums, and poverty.

I finished writing it today. The last chapter will be out in a few days or whenever people start asking for it.

[hannahmcne]

Oof

[hannahmcne]

Another one from Instagram that I thought was great.

[hannahmcne]

This was created by jukesboxdream on Instagram and I adore it. 🥰

[hannahmcne]

I had my doubts

Anna from the Courts: I admit, I had my doubts. You have no idea what a relief it was to hear you were both alive.

Ben: That may be the strangest congratulations we've heard all day.

Audrey: I bet I can top that. Ben, I'm so glad I didn't marry you so you could have this baby with Mal. You're welcome.

Ben:...

Mal:...

Anna:...

Ben: I don't know what I expected but that did definitely top it.

[hannahmcne]

Mycroft

Carlos, seeing Bal baby for the first time: Looks very fully-functioning.

Mal: I'll have you know that is Ben's favorite character in that show.

Evie: Mycroft?

Mal: I swear he loves Mycroft more than me!

[hannahmcne]

Cover her with Cake - a Core4 Scene

"Hey, guys," she said, and they turned with smiles towards her.

"You did it!" Jay said. "Without any problems either!"

"I know, what a relief." Mal rolled her eyes. "Hey, they have an ice cream machine. Let's go pile it on cake and give ourselves sugar highs."

"Won't the royal doctor protest?" Jay smirked and glanced at Vanessa. "Will your guard make you stop?"

"She can join us," Mal said. "She's saved my life twice, so she deserves the treat."

She reached forward to hug Jay and then reached up to noogie his head. "Thanks for doing me that solid earlier," she said. "I appreciate it."

"Anytime," Jay said and then scooped Mal up. "Better idea, let's cover her majesty in cake and cookies and dump ice cream on her until she screams!"

"Ah – ah – torso – ow, ow!" Mal beat Jay's back lightly until he set her back down. "No, no, that's something Vanessa is there to protect me from. Uncultured attacks and unjust punishments and-"

"Oh no, I'm in on this." Vanessa cracked her knuckles.

"Cruel, unforgiving friends!" Mal sputtered and jumped away. "No, no, I hereby decree – nope. Ah! I have my magic back! I will smite thee!"

"You go from the back, I'll cut off her escape from the side," Evie told Carlos with a glint in her eyes. "She can't run, so don't let her fight."

Jay snatched her hand, raised it above her head, and tickled her until she'd collapsed, laughing in the dirt. She tried to shock him with some magical mini-lightning and ended up frizzing both their hair up like they'd gotten awful perms. Carlos and Vanessa held her down while Evie dashed over to the cake booth and returned with sprinkles, whipped cream in a canister, and chocolate syrup.

"I'm going to get you back!" Mal sputtered as they dipped the chocolate back and forth on her hair. "They're going to get photos of this – I'm going to make you pay!"

"Open up," Jay demanded and blew her mouth full of puffy whipped cream.

They drizzled and decorated and finally helped her up with an aching side about ten minutes later. Evie showed Mal photos. Mal could only groan. "I have to go back," she whined. "I told Ben I would come back and not leave him." She poked Vanessa's arm. "You're fired," she said.

"I don't work for you." Vanessa stuck her tongue out. "I'm employed by the courts."

"You are very useful," Jay mused. "We'll have to include you in any future prank wars."

Mal continued whining as she shook sprinkles out of her hair. Evie helped her brush some off. "This is the part where you remember you have that magic you were threatening us with," she said. "And then you use it."

Mal scowled and snapped her fingers to make the mess vanish. "I still don't like any of you. Our trust has been broken."

"Eh, get over it," Carlos snorted, punching her arm. "We're family, it's what families do."

Mal stabbed him in the side. His hair poofed up like a poodle's. "It's what families do," she repeated.

They all laughed. Mal laid back on the ground to peer up at the sky. Jay fell down beside her, Carlos leaned back, and after some hesitation, Evie got down beside them all and laid her head on Jay's arm. Vanessa just shook her head as she rubbed the last of the chocolate off her hands.

"Guys, I know we don't see each other as much as we did when we first got off the Isle, but I just… want to say that I feel just as close to you guys."

Jay snorted. "Wow. Look at you. Sap."

Evie and Carlos chuckled as Mal reached up and pinched Jay's leg. He rolled away with a yelp. "Last time I try to convey appreciation with you," she scoffed.

"Yeah, yeah," Jay moved back and put his hands behind his head. "We care about you too, Mal. We think about you when we don't see you, we try to hang out… we worry about you…"

"Oh, and I'm the sappy one?"

"Guys, guys," Evie sighed. "I agree with you both. We're not always there, but we're always there, you know?"

"We're family," Carlos said. "Sometimes we grow apart, but the roots are all the same. We all come back to the same place."

Mal reached out and ran her fingers into Carlos's hair. "I love you guys," she whispered. "Life wouldn't be the same without you."

"You'd have probably gone insane by now," Carlos whispered back. "No one real to talk to."

"No one to really talk to," Evie echoed.

"Except for Ben," Mal said. Their words from earlier came floating back, but she pushed them away. "You guys mean a lot to me."

"You mean a lot to us too," Jay said.

Mal closed her eyes as the shadows from the leaves above coaxed her to a state of calm. Even though she was all done up with curls and fake eyelashes and red lips, she felt like a normal person surrounded by her friends.

[hannahmcne]

My family is not very religious most of the time.  We pray at Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving dinners, and my mom’s entire side of the family excluding her parents and siblings is hardcore religious so whenever we do anything with them it’s kind of religious.

But the point is, most of the time we aren’t, but every year at Christmas time, a church in the next town over puts on a Bethlehem and it’s kind of a tradition to go.  They go all out.  The building is massive, and they’ve got it all decked out.  There’s animals and stalls and everyone is in costume and in character.  When you get there, they give you some pennies and you can go and barter for cool little trinkets, and there’s other more expensive things you can buy with your own money.  And they have the best apple cider.  All in all, it’s pretty cool.

But anyway.  We go every year, bundled up in hats and scarves and mittens, and have a good time.  We’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember, and my mom talks about going when she was a kid.

I’m going to mention again that everyone is massively in character, especially the really super hardcore religious adults.  Because this is an important fact.

Every year since I was about thirteen or so, there’s been this one lady who worked at a stall selling ponchos (I have, like, three.  They’re really cool).  She was probably there before that, but I was thirteen when she started trying to barter for me to marry her son, who was also about thirteen.

“What a pretty little thing.  I think you’d make a very good wife for my son.  These are your parents?  I’ll give you six goats for your daughter’s marriage to my son.”

Her son, meanwhile, is in the “shop” behind her looking absolutely mortified and like he’d rather be anywhere else than there, and I’m pretty sure I probably looked just as embarrassed.

My parents gave her some sort of excuse, like it wasn’t enough goats or they weren’t ready to marry me off yet or something, and we moved on.

The next year we’re back again, and come up near to the same stall.

“Ah!  You’re back again!  Have you married your daughter off yet?  I can up my offer to nine goats and three chickens for your daughter to marry my son.”

Somehow she remembered the exact people she’d tried to buy their daughter off of for an entire year?  So my parents are refusing her offers again and me and the son are trading embarrassed looks and we go on our way.

And then it happens again.  And again.  And again.  Each and every one of the last six years this lady has tried to buy me in goats to be her son’s wife. 

 A couple years ago when we were waiting in line to get inside my mom jokingly said that they should accept this year and see what she’d do and I completely refused because it was mortifying enough as it was.

One year we brought my friend with us and we’re waiting outside and my sister was like “Are you gonna sell Kee this year?” and my dad was like “Maybe if there’s enough goats” and my friend was confused as heck and I was like “This lady tries to buy me to marry her son every year.  I told you that” and she’s like “Yeah but I didn’t think this was a thing that actually happened” and she was still skeptical and by the time my parents had finished refusing the lady’s offer, she’s killing herself laughing and then spent the next few months telling me I couldn’t look at guys because I already had a fiancée.

Anyway, it happened again this Christmas and the son has somehow gotten almost ridiculously attractive since last year.  The speech this year had something to do with how I was far too old to not have a husband yet, and the son and I just rolled our eyes at each other as his mom tried to barter with my parents for me.

This year’s offer was twenty six goats and nine chickens.  My sister looked up how much goats are worth, and was mad our parents didn’t sell me so she could have sold the goats and gotten $2000-$8000 for them.  My dad says they’re waiting out on an offer of a camel.  My brother thinks they should have it more than once a year so he can get more apple cider.

Now I’m back at uni, and in my first psych class of the semester the guy sitting beside me looked really familiar.  

As in his-mom-tries-to-buy-me-with-goats-every-Christmas familiar.

That kind of familiar.

We introduced ourselves before class started and I sat there for a couple minutes readying to make a total fool of myself in case I was wrong before turning to him again.

“This is going to sound really weird if you aren’t who I think you are, but by any chance does your mom try to buy you a wife with goats every Christmas?”

His friend gives me a weird look as he walks past me to sit on the other side of him, but he’s definitely putting the pieces together.

“That’s you?  Bethlehem in [city name], right?  God, my mom is so mortifying.”

And we both kinda laugh and meanwhile his friend is giving us both weird looks now because apparently he didn’t know that his friend’s mom was trying to buy him a wife using livestock.

So he turns to his friend and is like

“Oh, I forgot to introduce you.  Danny, this is my fiancée, Kee.”

And I kinda rolled my eyes and was like

“I’m not actually your fiancée.  Your mom hasn’t offered my parents enough goats yet.  But apparently my dad will sell me for a camel.”

And he laughed and shook his head like

“I am not telling my mom that.  I don’t want to see what she has planned for if your parents ever accept.”

So yeah.  His friend was really confused by that point and we explained it to him and it turns out he’s pretty cool and we’re Facebook friends now and hang out in psych classes.  Apparently his mom only ever tries to buy me for him and she and my mom had gone to the same church growing up which is why she can always pick us out.

So yeah.  That’s the story of how some lady tries to use goats to buy me to be her ridiculously attractive son’s wife every Christmas, and how he’s in my class and we’re friends now.

[hannahmcne]

Ben: I should consider a Ph.D. The study of Mal; what goes on in that head.

[hannahmcne]

Here’s to Us scene - Rotten Four looking out at the Isle

"Happy anniversary, guys!" Evie bid and passed around fancy sodas in glass bottles to Mal, Jay, and Carlos as they kicked off their shoes and headed down towards the beach. Emily cooed from the baby backpack Evie wore. This wasn't their usual spot since Mal's guards had insisted on a secluded area, but the Isle of the Lost was still visible, out over the waves. The flickering barrier was covered in green clouds.

Jay twisted the lid off his soda. "Well," he raised it into the air. "Here's to a celebration of not being dead."

"Amen to that," Mal said, toasting her still-closed bottle as well.

Carlos twisted the top and the cap exploded off with the force of a toy rocket. Sugary spray rained down on Mal's face and clothes while the cap flew away to land with a plop in the ocean.

"Whoops. Must have tipped in the car," Evie said while Jay and Mal laughed.

Carlos laid out a blanket for them all to sit on and Jay carefully arranged his offering of potato chips out in the center. Carlos had brought sandwiches and Mal had prepared some cookies for them all to share. Evie pulled Emily out of her carrier and set her upright on the blanket, where she swayed, but managed to stay sitting.

"Look at you!" Mal cheered. "You're so big, you can sit up now!"

Emily began to wail. She didn't know Mal and apparently didn't like the stranger anymore. Evie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Princess, you're a handful."

"I'm not a handful, mom," Jay whined for Emily and leaned over to pick her up. "Take it back, take it back, take it back." He laid Emily's stomach across one hand and flew her towards Evie's face. Emily laughed and slobbered all over Evie's leg.

Evie took the baby back with an eye roll. "Sure you aren't, sweetheart." She sat her up in her lap and looked out at the barrier. "How many more kids are out there, Mal?"

"Not many," Mal said. "The ones who didn't want to come… the ones too little to come. But the place is different now. Ben and I have put up new buildings and stuff over the years. Mostly back before I was queen."

"Why did we want you to become queen, again?" Jay asked. "Life was easier when you saw Ben for two hours a week and we only saw the guards coming into the palace."

"I think Ben should quit," Mal announced. "That's my solution." She popped the top on her soda and took a long drink. Everyone chuckled.

"If only, right?" Carlos rolled his eyes.

"Sixteen more years," Evie said.

Jay looked out over the water and began to slowly unwrap a sandwich. "I know I said it like a joke, but every time we come out here I just feel like… wow. I mean, 'Wow, I didn't die out there'."

"Oh," Mal said. "For me, it's just 'Wow, I'm still alive.'"

"That's everywhere," Evie said. "I know what you mean, Jay. Just looking out and wondering "what if I hadn't come off the Isle alive?" Or if one of you…" She trailed off, looking sad. Emily hiccupped and tipped over, where she began to writhe. Evie set her on the warm sand.

"My mother could have killed me," Carlos said. "I almost didn't make it over here."

Mal stayed quiet. Sure, she related. Her mother could have finished her off as a baby and she'd never have known any of them, never have become queen, wouldn't have the chance to stare at the Isle and ponder her life's fragility. But it was hard to look at death as a possibility of the past when she'd come to terms that, at any point, there could be someone around her trying to kill her. Uma… the Freemen… anyone.

She held the glass up to the light. "Well, I just want you all to know that I'm glad we get to be here together. That… things worked out and we all stayed alive."

"Especially you," Jay whispered.

"Especially Carlos," Mal deflected his concern. "He had the worst mom out of all of us."

"Well…" Jay rolled his eyes.

"Didn't your mom throw you out the window once?" Evie asked Mal.

"Oh, is that all?" Carlos scoffed. They all laughed. Emily rolled onto her stomach on the sand and began trying to swim on top of the grains to get back to her mom. Mal pointed at her goddaughter.

"To be honest, she throws me off the most," she said. "Because… if I had died on the Isle… I don't know… maybe Ben and Audrey would have worked out."

Jay spat his soda out to the side as he laughed.

"But," Mal continued, gesturing to Emily. "If… anything had happened to Evie on the Isle… she wouldn't exist. She's like… an object permanence complex to me. The fact Emily exists just blows my mind when I think about everything that happened over there."

"Me too." Evie picked the baby back up and kissed her head. She looked down and smiled. "If I give you to Aunt Mal, will you still be a squirt? Or will you be nice to her?"

Mal held her hands out, but low. Evie swung Emily's legs over and let Emily lean against Mal's leg. Emily leaned her head back and stared at Mal, eyes wide. Mal smiled. "You know me, right?" She pinched a lock of her hair and held it towards Emily. "Remember?"

Emily took the hair and tugged softly, but her eyes still had that lost look.

"Oh, I know," Mal said and reached for her phone. She turned it on to show Emily the screensaver of her and Ben. "You know Ben, right? You like Ben."

Immediately, Emily smiled. "Eiy!" she screeched and slapped Mal's phone out of her hand.

"Whoops!" Mal picked it back up to show her again and Emily slowly grabbed the side of the device to gaze at Ben. Then she cooed and dropped her open mouth onto Mal's pant leg, where she began to slobber up the material until Evie sighed and pulled her off.

"Professional Slimer, here," Evie said, offering Mal a wet wipe. "Sorry about that."

"No problem." Mal brushed Emily's hair down. "If I have a boy, we should set them up and she can be queen."

"Shot at every other week," Jay remarked.

"Pass." Evie hugged her baby. "If Lonnie has a boy though, we'll consider it."

Mal groaned. "Come on, E. I'm just trying to get out of my job!"

They all laughed again and Carlos raised his amber glass to the bottle-green barrier. "Well, here's to never going back."

"That is a motion I can get behind," Evie said. They clinked their glasses together and laid back in the sun to watch the waves.