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“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

- Bob Marley

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I guess humans are supposed to be fake?

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She needs some burn cream

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Oh shit

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Just kidding. This graph describes regular dating that didn't work out.

They thought they liked you. Then they weren't so sure. And they didn't know how to tell you.

That sucks. But that's dating.

Stop using avoidant attachment to explain your first several dates.

Attachment styles don't fully activate until they've actually attached to you.

Until then, you're not seeing a pattern.

You're seeing how they respond to early intimacy with *you*.

Avoiding intimacy is not the same as avoidant attachment.

Intimacy is risky.

It's normal for people to pull away when they're unsure about you.

This is the whole point of dating --> to figure out who is worth the risk.

All of dating can be boiled down to two types of behavior: intimacy-blocking or intimacy-enhancing.

Here's the kicker: what feels vulnerable to you may feel normal to them.

Example: meeting the family might feel huge to you, but a regular occurrence for others.

Avoidant attachment is about keeping love at a distance.

They push you away when you get too close, but pull you back if you go too far.

But that only happens after there's real intimacy. Until then, you're being vetted (that's dating).

Stop diagnosing normal behavior.

Free yourself from the meme-industrial complex.

Maybe they're not avoidantly attached. Maybe you're just single. And online.

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Oh shit.

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Hahahahahahaha

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I did an experiment on myself

I like to browse social media, but it's not really me who likes that. It's some baser, more lizardish part of my brain. It does not even know what it's looking at, or care -- it just knows it gets little dopamine snacks from it, and likes them.

I decided to do an experiment. I wanted to see what that part of my brain would do if I deprived it of what it usually likes. I blocked all social media in my desktop browser via an extension, uninstalled all my social media apps, and even blocked the websites on my phone just for good measure.

So, what would I do now?

It turns out I start going on wikipedia. I liked to look at the "on this day section," and use the random page button. It's kind of like social media because I never knew what I was going to see. It scratched that same itch.

But I wanted to go farther, so I blocked wikipedia too.

Turns out, after that, I start going on google maps streetview and exploring random towns in Chile or Mongolia. I see hotels and restaurants with 1 review. Who are you, reviewer. Why have you decided to give this pizza restaurant that just looks like a normal house this digital baptism.

But I wanted to go farther, so I blocked google maps too.

Then, I started going to my local library. The library had more information than I could ever read about practically anything I wanted to read about. I started reading about French history. The region we know today as France may look pretty innocuous, but you wouldn't believe some of the shit that went down.

But I wanted to go farther, so I stopped even going to the library. What would this part of me, that so desperately craved a constant intake of information, do now.

It was then that I descended into the sewers, and became the Rat Man.

I quickly became a legend in my town. Some teenagers saw me clamber out of one sewer grate and then into another across the street. They told their parents about it. Their parents didn't believe them. Truth be told, I almost didn't believe them either.

A woman eating oreos on a park bench once dropped one near a sewer drain at the local bike path, and yelped when she saw my arm reach out from the drain and swipe it. However, later on, she left another oreo there. She took pity on the Rat Man. I saw the Man that was left there, even though it was mostly Rat.

Ultimately I decided to allow myself the library.

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Do you get it now? Without due process, everyone is at risk. How are you going to prove your citizenship otherwise?

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